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March 31, 2023 44 mins

In this month’s Lisa Lately, Lisa takes a layer off and finds freedom through her transformation. 

 

<<thank you to my listeners for being here for the journey, for providing space for me to be, explore, shift, and step up.  This is all for you >>

 

Lisa shares:

  • How tiny shifts ended up accidentally leading to a massive shift in her life

  • How to gain freedom from the EGO to live in truth

  • How to use your nervous system as a radar of “what feels good”

  • Why “trying to be productive” left her less productive

  • How to not tie your self-worth to a number (any number!)

  • The importance of hobbies, conscious rest, and building self-worth in mini moments

  • “Wellness Culture” vs. True Wellness

  • The BIGGEST nutritional mistake we as humans make

  • Yoga Somatics - what is it, and how can “pandiculation” regulate us throughout the day

 

Instagram:

The Truthiest Life on Instagram @thetruthiestlife

Host @lisahayim

 

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Edited by Houston Tilley

Intro Jingle by Alyssa Chase aka @findyoursails

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I know be aye. Even when times get heart and
you feel you're in the cuscy, just so beautiful laugh
can be when you soph in your heart, you can

(00:23):
finiste your toe see its life. Hello everybody, I just
listen back to this episode that I recorded last week,
and I'm really proud and inspired by myself. And I
know that sounds probably strange, but it's okay to be

(00:44):
proud of yourself. In fact, we should be proud of ourselves.
But it was really cool to listen back and gain
inspiration and strength in a moment where I need it
from a time where I had it. And I think
that speaks great volumes about how one day we feel
really strong and connected and then the next day we don't,
and rather than see that as winning and failing, it's
about returning back to that source of inspiration of connectedness,

(01:08):
and that is what the journey of staying in alignment
and close to our true selves is really about. I
really love this Lisa. Lately, I feel free, unlocked, and
I'm really excited to bring and open up a part
of me that I feel has been in hiding. So
in this episode, I am talking about a lot of
different topics I'm going to be talking about ego releasing,

(01:31):
how to not tie yourself worth to any number, the
side effects of steeping into my own life and finding
inner peace, the importance of hobbies and learning in general,
and how to not get tripped up if you're not
quote unquote good at learning. Bringing nuance to wellness culture.
What I am starting to realize is possibly like my

(01:53):
purpose here. There is so much nuance when it comes
to wellness versus what I'll define as wellness culture, and
I don't think we need to throw out the baby
with the bathwater type of a thing. I'm going to
talk about my compassionate yet critiqued take on the Gwyneth
Paltrow podcast clip that went viral and took the Internet

(02:14):
by storm. And I'm also going to talk about the
Pamela Anderson documentary on Netflix and cover the topic of
toxic masculinity. And lastly, I'm going to talk about yoga somatics,
gaining wisdom and insight into our emotions and regulating our
nervous system through movement both on and off the mat.
Like I said, a lot of random topics packed into

(02:35):
a forty five minute episode, but that's just what goes
out in my mind on a given month. I hope
you enjoyed this month's Lisa Lately. Let's jump in. Welcome
back to Lisa Lately, the once a month time we
get together where I share everything that's going on in
my mind, in my journal, in my body with all

(02:57):
of you, very open and honestly. Now we'll let me
kind of back up. The podcast is called The Truth
Is Life, and yet I do feel like I've been
holding back from you on but tiny shifts had led
up to this moment where I'm not doing that anymore.
Despite this podcast being called The Truth Is Life and
constantly working on myself and my ego, I'm going to

(03:19):
admit that showing up to this microphone has been a
little bit scary for me, not necessarily to just show
up and create the content, but to give it my all.
This is content that lives forever. Listeners. I've been very
focused on retaining them, getting new ones, getting positive reviews,
especially in the first year or two of getting this
podcast out the door. And I've made so many subtle

(03:41):
shifts that I'm going to get into in this episode
that have cleared that slate for me where I don't care.
I mean I care that I come through honestly, respectfully
and thoughtfully. But I'm not going to not speak my
fullest mind on things that I feel called to share
on in the way that I feel called to share

(04:03):
with them because of that fear of loss anymore. I
think my daughter and getting sick this past year really
put a lot into perspective for me, where if I'm
not doing something that feels really good, I'm not gonna
do it, meaning the podcast, Instagram, showing up in these
additional ways outside of how I can serve, I can

(04:26):
take my mission grassroots and be very happy to serve
the local community. I'd even be happy just being mom
for now. However, that's not where I'm at in this moment.
But by recognizing that I've been able to strip away
the ego a little bit more and show up only
when I want to show up, versus showing up because

(04:49):
I feel like I have to stay relevant. So my
first part of Lisa Lately today is about how to
leave the grind, live your truth without ego. And this
was not an overnight process for me, and it was
actually just today where I kind of realized that a
huge shift has happened within me, and this huge shift
feels like freedom. It might look like nothing to the

(05:12):
outside world, but my nervous system, my anxiety, my thinking, thoughts,
my feelings, my emotions are very different than I think.
How it's been the last couple of years on a
personal front, having my life on social media, having that
become a brand, having your follower number public, your likes

(05:34):
be public, all that type of information. You know that.
Of course I put myself out here to do so.
I didn't realize how that would impact my sharing and
my self something. You know, my brand is my name,
and I think that we can apply this to every

(05:55):
part of anybody's life. I'm speaking hyper specifically to my own,
but I just wanted to share that in trying to
keep up with the joneses, for lack of a better word,
but apply that to your life by trying to keep
up with what's cool, by trying to keep up with
the algorithm to make Instagram happy, to do TikTok, to
do this, to do that, I was constantly chasing my

(06:16):
tail as when I was pregnant or as a new mom.
It was like, I have so much information, that's not
the problem, but figuring out how to get it out
there became this obstacle for me. Whereas sharing online used
to be effortless, a thought came into my mind, I
could put words to it, a picture, boom boom, boom,
boom boom, and he put it out into the universe.

(06:37):
Now there was so much work involved to do so
that it became so heavy of a task. And yet
I spent a lot of time trying to keep up.
And I don't know if if I actually spent a
lot of time trying to keep up or just mentally
was consumed by that, because if I look back at
what I've put out there in the past couple of years,
it's been a lot less than previously, but so much

(06:58):
of my mental consumption went towards I have to do this,
I have to do this, I have to do it
that way, and have to do it right now, when
all that left me was uninspired, not aligned, and not
even productive. If I really look back, when I flash
forward to now, and this was not an overnight shift,
I'm going to share, I think how I ended up

(07:19):
here a little bit. I do not care. I would
not care if Instagram went away tomorrow. I would miss
a lot of my friends on there. Hopefully my newsletter
would be a way to connect with you all, or
my podcast, But the general point being that my self
worth is no longer in this moment tied to the

(07:39):
professional version of me. No, that's other public figure version
of me that's out there. I can happily retreat be
a nobody, which is a somebody who shouldn't call it
a nobody. I could be just me and that would
be enough. How freeing is that? Right? And we can't
all just walk away for our responsibilities, but I think

(08:02):
we can change our relationship to them, because in effect
I haven't stepped away from being a public figure, but
the way it feels inside of me is drastically different
because I started to do it my way and walk
away from the numbers, and some of that in which
you may or may not care about, has met walking
away from working with brands. Working with brands has been wonderful,

(08:26):
a great way for me to make money, become shift
into motherhood without exhausting all of my resources. But at
the same time, they take a lot of work, and
most importantly, it's a lot about the numbers. They want
to see how many people are liking your story and
Maple are clicking your legs and they have to provide
those analytics, and all of that for me is very

(08:47):
can be very low vibe. So in shifting, I've really
said to myself, it's okay if you don't do any
brand deals. Yes, that is a significant hit in my
income that I'm going to need to recoup otherwise, because
we've got bills to pay, I've got my I debated
works for me and all sorts of things. But in
doing so, it's actually reshifted my focus back on what

(09:09):
I want to be doing, which is serving people in
various ways. That doesn't mean that I'm done working with brands.
I absolutely love the brands that I work with and
creating meaningful content that provides value education or access to
information or products that you otherwise wouldn't have. But it
does mean really, really, really being so hyper specific with

(09:30):
ones that really align with my soul and where I
want to be. So this all began on my metreat. Actually,
when I went away by myself back in August. I
was about a year to being a mother, loss, confused,
felt very separate from myself, and I took a few
days to go away and during that time. I journaled

(09:52):
a lot, and if I look back on my journal,
I got so much good clarity in a short amount
of time. Things that I wrote, We're spending less time
on social media, doing a retreat, teaching yoga, continuing my
career and learning to teach yoga, And I flashed forward
six seven months from now, from then, and so many

(10:14):
of those things I've checked off on my list. And
I don't say that to be like, yeah, you're crushing
your goals. At least I say it because this is
the first time that I ever got so crystal clear
on goals that were immeasurable and in specific and without
working with such intensity that could have caused me to

(10:35):
fall out of alignment in pursuit of achievement, in being
so goal oriented that you are blinded by that and
forget about everything else that we have to do in
our roles and responsibilities and things that we care about.
I effortlessly, No, that's not the right word. I softly
accomplished them, like I arrived here by soft living, no grind,

(10:58):
intense hustle, just putting my head down and following what
feels good. And I think it speaks volumes about intentionality
and revisiting that intentionality a million times over. That journal
that I wrote in I have revisited a million times since,
and it's almost magical how all those things kind of

(11:20):
came together. They weren't overnight. I remember I came back
from the retreat, I'm like, Okay, I want to start
teaching yoga, pulled out my calendar and I was like
about to put it some dates on and then I
was like, nah, not ready yet. Meanwhile, I've taught every
Thursday for the past three weeks, next seven months later,
and so not everything happens on the timeline that you

(11:43):
expect it to. And yet when you follow the leads
this journey that I've been on, I feel like there's
been little pieces of bait that I've followed and they
taken me there. I've ended up in a really, really,
really good place. A lot of this has come from
leaving my ego, but the work hasn't felt like, Lisa
leave your ego, Lisa leave your ego, Lisa leave your ego.

(12:05):
Leaving my ego has been a result of me shifting
my priorities into what and who I want to be
by spending more time learning yoga, teaching yoga on my mat,
studying by picking up a hobby sewing. I'll talk about
that in a moment. I'd have accidentally spent less time

(12:28):
chasing my tail. You've got to put out content. You've
got to put out content this way. This is what's
going on right now. The algorithms is look at how
this person's putting out content. She's staring to the top.
You gotta do that. You have so much good stuff
to say, why can't you put it out like her? Like?
This is what used to go on in my mind.
Not to say that I don't still get those thoughts.
Actually I really don't get those thoughts. Essentially, when I

(12:50):
do see somebody soaring to the top and in their flow,
I'm like, actually just flapping. That's actually what I just
noticed as I'm saying this out loud. I really haven't
had that neural pathway reactivated by way of seeing other
people do well. And again, this is all like side
effects of just steeping into my own life, keeping my

(13:11):
hands on the driving wheel of my own car, not
worrying how fast somebody else is going next to me,
and not worrying what type of car they're driving, but
literally hands on the wheel looking forward or down, really
it to myself has allowed all of that to melt away,
and as a result, I feel different. I'm sleeping differently,

(13:32):
my anxiety is different. I've excited about other things related
to mother and he a world of the planet, but
when it comes to that self absorbed type of anxiety
about ego related success, it's all gone right now, it
will come back. And I say that because there have
been moments in my life where I've separated myself from

(13:54):
this before and then life carries on and I get lazy,
for lack of a better word, messy, untidy with my habits,
and I find myself here again. And I know that
and that's okay. But let us together realize that when
we put our head down and focus on ourselves, our study,
our own work, what we have to offer to the world.

(14:15):
When we build that up so high, the desire to
prove it to the world fades away. And that's peace,
that's inner peace. And I savor, save or savor those moments. Too.
Much of my life was grown up in chaos, where
I was either part of chaos or creating chaos, and

(14:37):
if something felt too good, I was afraid of it.
Because I thought that it would be chased away quickly.
Now I know to lean into joy, to peace, and
to thank God for teaching me how to do so.
Thank God for mindfulness, and thank God for allowing me
to find expansiveness and spaciousness in my body, because it's

(14:58):
a much better way to live. So how could you
apply this to your own life? I think that there's
a million ways in which the trends, the jones is
what other people are doing, what other people are thinking
about you, where that takes more precedent in your mind

(15:21):
over what you're actually doing. And we don't realize how
that's noise, that's a distraction, and how that pulls us
from our own self. So I encourage you. If there
is a part of you that has something to offer
to this world's ps that to everybody. Soak in that

(15:43):
and you're offering to the world by the way, it
might be something like taking care of your home and
your children, or taking care of your parents or your siblings.
Like it doesn't have to be such a macro macro healer,
intuitive guide type of a thing. But focus on what
you do and everything else will fade away. Because we

(16:03):
will never find happiness or that end goal by way
of chasing it. The success will never be enough. The
feeling of being accepted will never be enough. The feeling
of being cool and part of something, it will never
be enough. The enoughness comes when we realize that the
enoughness is not over there, it's in here. And that's

(16:24):
on living your truth without ego. The other thing that
has very much helped me shift into gear has been
picking up a hobby. So many of you have seen
on social media that I started to relearn how to sew.
I was actually a fashion major in college for my
freshman year, and that was my first time seeing a
sewing machine, knowing anything about it. I spent a year

(16:46):
trying to learn how to sew, and I felt so defeated.
I was in class with a lot of people that
already knew the basics of sewing, and I felt very
thrown in and I had no skills to learn. And
that might sound weird, right, like, I mean I should
have skills to learn, but I really didn't. My focus
was on learning. I had to get it right. I

(17:06):
had to figure it out so much so that I
did not absorb very much during that time, and I
think that's very normal when learning anything new. But that's
something that I've only realized lately that for me, in
order to retain information, there needs to be a nice
level of priming there. So hearing things for the first time,
it's as if I've never heard them before. Hearing it
for the second time, like now we're talking third time.

(17:28):
Now we're making money here. And I have been talking
and wanting to go back to learning how to sew
since the beginning of the pandemic. I bought a little
sewing machine for like on Amazon for like thirty dollars
that just sat there. And I am not a self
led learner. I wish that I was, but I do
require like a tutor, a one on one. So I

(17:48):
decided to sign up for sewing classes in my town.
It's an offering, a wonderful offering, and I'm somebody that
like jumps into things and goes all in. I was
going to buy the sewing machine and all this stuff,
and I was like, you at Lisa, slow down, just
go to the class. It's six weeks long, and at
the end of the six weeks, decide where you want
to take this hobby. You might find out that you
hate sewing. Or you might find out that this machine

(18:11):
is better than this machine, whatever it is. So I
went to class every week for six weeks and it
was amazing. First of all, hobbies are so underrated in adulthood.
We just don't really have a lot of access to them,
especially with the invent of television and Netflix. There's so
many things that we can do with our quote unquote

(18:33):
free time if we're not really conscious about how we
use it, and a hobby, especially one that takes your
undivided attention, like sewing, isn't really thought of until you're like, oh,
I can go do this. Instead, it's much easier to
click on the television or scroll or whatever. The things
that eat our time and energy away are. But in

(18:54):
doing this I realized a few things. Number one is
that learning really sucks. I knew this from my yoga
teacher training. It trips you up, it makes you question
things about yourself, your abilities, everything from childhood comes up.
And there's also a better way to do it than
how I used to do it. When I used to
go into learning new things, I came in with frazzled energy,

(19:15):
like yes, I'd have a pen in the paper, ready
to learn, and write everything down, and that seems like
a really good method, but that intensity actually steals from
digesting information. So coming out of my yoga teacher training
into sewing, I was like, you know what if I
stay back a little bit and relax and don't focus
so much on how much I learn and how much
I retain, I might just retain a little bit more.

(19:37):
And by bringing that softer energy to it, turns out
I did actually learn a lot more. And there's a
huge lesson here when it comes to paying attention that
without like this pressure on it, when we remove the
pressure we sink into our bodies, the brain actually is

(19:58):
absorbing a lot more. And I'm sure there's some good
scientific reason about this, how intensity might bring on a
cascade of hormones or cause us to activate different parts
of our brain, whereas we might need some like relaxation
hormone in order to let things steep in. I don't
know that for sure, that's a hypothesis, but it was
really cool to let myself learn without the pressure of learning.

(20:23):
And every time I made something I have, like an
inner you bee, I did it, you know, and it
seems so silly, but it's really not. I told this
story in my newsletter, but I absolutely love it. My
daughter is learning different things, you know, around our house,
and when she does something new or something that she
thinks is like a big deal, she screams, I did it,

(20:45):
and we all scream you know you did it, and
we clap, and I just think to myself, like, she's
building so much confidence and self worth from these mini moments,
and I don't think we do them enough in adulthood.
And when I went to yoga class the other day,
I was next to this woman and it's just great
Saturday class. My friend Erica teaches, and this great group
of women, like the energy is just great, different than

(21:06):
anywhere else I've ever been. This woman did this thing.
It's called flip your dog, where you kind of go
upside down. And as she's upside down, she goes, oh
my god, I did it, and a woman next to
her goes congratulations, and another one goes and you looked
beautiful doing it. And if you've ever attended a yoga class,
like you are doing it cumulatively, but it's a very
like personal practice. Nobody's talking. And this woman was just

(21:30):
so proud of it herself, and she's like this was
the first time I ever did it, and watching her
celebrate herself and other women celebrate her gave me permission
to continue to celebrate our small moments, our small winds
or small accomplishments. Nobody else is. But when she did it,
actually invited to other people to congratulate her, and it

(21:52):
was beautiful. It was one of those moments I'll honestly
remember forever. And that's what sewing has kind of done
for me. It has helped me build my self worth.
It has challenged me beyond belief. But the problems that
I run into is actually what builds my self worth
and my self confidence. And again, like putting my energy
towards this versus other things has actually opened up the

(22:16):
creativity within me to create content online that comes from
a true source, a spring that's ever flowing, versus ones
that I was trying to pull things out from the
purpose of constant content creation and keeping up with the
algorithm and doing everything so that I stay relevant. Right,
I don't care about staying relevant anymore. I want to

(22:39):
reach the people that I have. But I'm out of
that rat race and feeling so free and aligned because
I am pouring into myself my practice, my work, exactly
what I need and what I believe I have to
give this world. It's pretty cool. Oh, on learning new things.

(23:00):
Another thing that I want to add, and I'm going
to sound ninety eight hundred years old here, is that
YouTube is a game changer. When I first started to
sew back in college, there was no YouTube. So I'd
learning class, try to take note on everything and then
bring that information home in front of my sewing machine,
and I'd run into problems. I'd get stuck. I wouldn't

(23:20):
know how to solve them, and that would make me
want to rip my hair out. I'd spend hours trying
to figure things out, and if I even figured them out,
I moved forward and then I felt really good. But
a lot of the times I just straight up got stuck.
Now there's YouTube, not that it's like brand new, but
it's such a helpful resource when learning something new. So
going back to learning how to sew, having YouTube as

(23:43):
my support system outside of the class that I'm in
game changing, really game changing again. I know I sound
eight hundred years old, especially for my younger listeners that
have learned everything on YouTube and that was their go to,
but my generation doesn't watch YouTube. We don't really watch
anything actually anything full in my opinion, but being able
to specifically run into problems, put that problem into Google

(24:06):
and find a video that speaks directly to it. I mean,
Chef's kiss YouTube does not get enough credit and YouTube
is not going anywhere because of that, thank you YouTube. Okay,
this is a hard shift and abrupt, random changing conversation
talking about the Pamela Anderson documentary on Netflix, and I

(24:27):
just said that I don't watch anything useful, and that
is what I expected this documentary to be. I was
lured in by way of social media. My curiosity was piqued,
and I'm actually really glad that it was, because it
was such a good lesson in thinking that we know
who somebody is, what they're about when we know nothing

(24:50):
about them. But that's not what today's topic is about.
Today's topic is about toxic masculinity. And I was pretty
surprised to learn a lot about Pamela Anderson beyond and
what my quick preconceived ideas of her were. She actually
has a lot of depth. She's really smart, she's really kind,
she's really true to herself. And anyway, I'll save all

(25:13):
of that but long story short, she was married to
Tommy Lee. They had a baby or two together and
ultimately ended up getting divorced because he harmed her in
some way physically. During the interviews where he's asked why
he did this because they were like madlie in love,
he explains that all he wanted was to have some love.

(25:34):
You know. They had a baby and their world shifted.
And this is what happens when a couple, no matter
how madly in love, have a baby. A huge shift
in the relationship between husband, wife or partners takes place.
The wife the first priority is always the baby, and
then the second one has to be the mom for
self in order to take care of baby, and then

(25:56):
husband comes third. That is a big shift from coming first,
and this causes a lot of problems in a lot
of relationships. Not because it's not normal. I'm here to
say that is normal, but because of toxic masculinity. This
idea that a man shouldn't feel this way, that he,

(26:18):
you know, has to walk around being all tough guy
is actually the problem because if Tommy Lee could have
just expressed his feelings, maybe they would have gotten into
an argument right that says this is obviously an imagined
scenario that they would have gotten into an argument. You know,
I can't get make you first. The baby comes first.
But if somebody actually comes forward with I really need

(26:41):
to feel loved right now, I feel like I don't
matter to you, it shifts things so much. But men
are not given permission by society to do so. And
I don't have a son, so this isn't something that
I'm dealing with. But for those of you raising sons,
it is so important that we encourage them to be
emotionally in touch and emotionally linguistic, to share their emotions,

(27:05):
to not say be a tough boy or a big boy,
and to make sure that they're given a place to
express their feelings, just the way we want everybody to
articulate their experience. I in no way am defending I
think that hopefully it's obvious, but as I'm saying this,
it's sounding a little jumbled. I'm in no way defending
Tommy Lee for harming Pamela Anderson, but I felt so

(27:27):
sad in an interview where he just said I just
wanted to be held and heard and told that I
was loved too. Men are suffocating their own emotions because
they don't know how to tap into that soft side.
They don't know that they've permission to. I actually think
that they can very easily, but they don't have permission to.

(27:49):
And the result, without all this conscious recognition of it,
is their emotions get bundled and bundled and bundled and
tight into their stomach and then it just explodes as
rage right physical or verbal, and it's helping nobody. So
I just think that toxic masculinity needs to go. There's
nothing sexier than a man who speaks their feelings, and

(28:12):
more importantly, a man who listens really well and doesn't
gaslight and hold space. And it's a big way that
we need to go in this society to get us there.
But I wanted to just use that as an example
to talk about toxic masculinity, notice where it is in
your life and those around you, and also validate the

(28:33):
experience for relationships that things really do shift when you
have a baby, and it's a very normal for partner
to feel like they come third, especially when a lot
of the caregiving responsibilities in the beginning come from mom.
And that doesn't mean that the mom has more responsibilities
now to make sure that Dad, But I just want

(28:54):
to normalize that experience for anybody that's going through it,
male or female, that it is very very very very
very normal. And I'm sure that there's a therapist out
there who's not going to be me right now to
talk about, you know, ways that you can overcome that,
how to kind of navigate that shift, create a bridge,
how to come together after a very natural divide. Wellness

(29:25):
culture is our next topic. I don't even want to
bring it up because I'm so tired of it, but
I'm going to scratch the surface here. I'm sure that
you saw or heard Gwyneth Paltrow on a popular podcast
talk about what she eats in a day. I don't
even want to like get into this. I think that
all that has been played off of it has just

(29:47):
given it more press, but it did spark some of
my own thoughts, So I will share a tiny bit
of what I took away from that clip. Granted I
did not listen to the entire podcast episode. In listening
to what Gwyneth Paltrow eats in a day and the
tone in which she delivered the message, I started to

(30:07):
feel like wellness, I get why it has a bad
reputation unrelated to even the disordered eating. The lack of
levity joy smiles as she talked about food is actually
what was more frightening. True wellness means something very different
to me, and I hope that I can continue to

(30:30):
talk about wellness and health and bring that nuance back.
So here, I'm talking about wellness culture, and I'm going
to use that term when we talk about things in
wellness that we do under that umbrella name, but they
don't seem very well. Wellness culture does not often leave
room for things like vegging out, laughter and connection. So

(30:57):
much of wellness as we see it online. And again
I don't know anything about Gwyneth Paltrow, so I'll just
take her out of the conversation for this next part here.
But so much about wellness involves a checklist, intense ritualization
and things you're not already doing, can't afford, isn't accessible,
and it robs you of joy. Now I've talked about

(31:18):
disordered eating and lifestyle related things, and a lot of
the times it starts feeling really good in your body.
You've made the shift, you feel empowered, your digestions working better.
All of that is like, but at some point, and
it usually takes even more than a year till you
reach that point, something stops working all of a sudden,
you're afraid of a food, or you're not enjoying yourself

(31:40):
in any aspect of life. You're just become too rigid
and about it and you've lost the balance, right, You've
you've lost the balance. And again it's it's like this nuance,
which I'm starting to realize, is one of hopefully, Like
what I'm here to do is bring the nuance backs
into the conversation. It doesn't mean like green juices or bad,
or taking supplements or bad, or eating almonds or bad. Like.

(32:03):
Not one thing is bad, not even intermittent fasting is
necessarily bad for everybody. But when we become too dogmatic
about it and we squeeze out the joy, the laughter,
the connection, the fun, the playfulness, it doesn't matter how
healthy our food is if it's not providing all around nourishment,

(32:24):
not just nourishment for our cells and our bones and
parts of the body we can identify thanks to anatomy class,
but nourishment for our souls to feel peaceful within our bodies. Right,
like you could eat healthy healthy foods, but if it
doesn't feel really good and connecting, something is missing here.
And I think that as I've gotten older and made

(32:46):
my way through life a little bit more in my
mid thirties, I've really come to realize that it's, like
I said in the beginning, leaning into joy, leaning into connectivity,
leaning into the most delicious, sacred moments about of life
is part of wellness. But what we are seeing online

(33:08):
more and more is this intense ritualization, these long fasts
often disguised as health. Not to say that a fast
can't be healthy in some situations or whatever. It's kind
of a whole other topic. But if you're all in,
you're oftentimes all out in other parts of your life.
And this is a hard one because it has taken

(33:30):
me so long to find my version of wellness, and
I am continuously refining it, especially as I get older
and I deal with other health things I call on food,
nutrition and all those things and supplements even more. But
I'm also having a really good time with it, and
it's okay if I miss it, and I'm not freaking

(33:50):
out about it. And I'm certainly not going to go
on a podcast where millions and millions of listeners are
on there and talk about not that I do this,
but I mean the fact that you're going to about
fasting in the way that she does so publicly without disclaimers. Again,
didn't listen to the whole podcast year, so I apologize
if I'm wrong here. It was a little bit frightening
because it really speaks to who she's surrounding herself, which

(34:13):
which I believe is you know a lot of la
culture where this is so normalized, and so in that culture,
it's like pursuit of health. To gain what you know,
you gotta look at what you're gaining. And I don't
know her personally. Maybe she's happy, maybe she's not. But
in that quick clip that I got my intuitive hit

(34:33):
feeling didn't feel like overwhelming happiness. And maybe that was
just her in the moment, but I thought that spoke
volumes about it more to me than even the contents
of what she said. There was a little bit of
a lack of life in her. And this is not
a hit on Gwyneth Paltrow because ultimately what my mindfulness

(34:56):
practice has done has really softened me as a person.
Where I might critique some things that she has said
or done because it was so public. But as a person,
compassion all the way and if that works for her
and she wants to live that way and it's not
affecting her relationships, and this is what she wants good.
But my gut instinct take said, something doesn't feel right here,

(35:20):
And maybe it was because the clip was obviously used
to get a reaction out of everybody and the amount
of people that did that thing where you post the
reaction video. Maybe it was meant to go viral, because
what does that do for the podcast? It gets it
more views and likes. And I don't think she's probably
as sensitive as I am to internet backlash. That's for sure.

(35:40):
She's gotten enough of it. But anyway, I've talked away
too much about Gwyneth Paltrow and I didn't want to
talk about her at all all to say that wellness
culture needs to have room for the good stuff. Next up,
I'm talking about the biggest nutritional mistake people make, which
is thinking that one way of eating will work forever

(36:04):
for them. I said this a moment ago, but oftentimes
when we make shifts in our diet and lifestyle, it
feels really good. We feel empowered it's working well for digestion,
our energy levels, our skin is clearing, and we say,
I'm going to do this forever. But what we fail
to realize is that as mammals aging, our bodies are

(36:25):
constantly changing. We are living in an environment that is
constantly changing, and therefore our needs are constantly changing. There
is a reason that so many people that go vegan
for ten years are no longer vegan, or people that
are not vegetarian then become vegetarian, or they do this
or they do that. Like a very strict eating protocols

(36:46):
rarely work out for a lifetime because things shift and
we notice that we need something else, and we're so
surprised by it every time, like, oh my god, this
person is not this anymore, this person's not this, Like
nobody should. We've got us stay open minded as our
nutritional needs change throughout our life cycle. We think that
we're just like these static human beings, but we are

(37:08):
mammals going through a life cycle, and each part of
that life cycle we have different needs. Our hormones are
going to change. It's going to affect how our different
varying vitamin levels that we need. We are living in
an environment that is constantly changing, which is going to
affect how much this and that that we need. I'm
being vague, but the point here is that the biggest

(37:30):
mistake is that we need is just thinking that one
way will work forever. I have granted myself so much
permission over the years to not really have a label.
You know. I am constantly flowing and changing and moving
in a direction that feels right for me, and there's
always that open mind of well this could change, well

(37:51):
this can change. And it's just really interesting to witness
people kind of wake up to dada. They're so shocked
when the way of eating is no longer working for
them anymore. And just know that the body is sending
wisdom and so follow that and all will be good. Simple, right, Okay,

(38:11):
I've got a lot of topics today. Next topic is
conscious rest. I think I talked about this in the
last Lisa lately, but conscious rest is so underrated and
hard to get. We know what rest is, right, like sleeping,
and then we talk about like rest not doing anything,
but rest is oftentime disguised as watching television, being on

(38:33):
our phone, decompressing in some of those ways, even getting
like a manicure, pedicure, And I can really only think
of one place where conscious rest really happens, which is
shavasana corpse pose at the end of a yoga practice.
And in most Western yoga places it's very rushed because
that's not why people come to yoga. People are coming
to yoga for the workout and then they're out when

(38:55):
it comes to the end, lying on your back, people
are done. It's not a stretch. What is it? It's
like hard to understand. Meanwhile, chavasana, it's the integration phase
where we are conscious and we are resting, and we
are not meditating necessarily, but something else is just going
on in our bodies and minds. And there's really I

(39:17):
can't think of any other place besides for shavasana where
we can kind of get that type of rest, and
it's so so under rated and hard to get. If
you do practice yoga, I want to encourage you to
lean more into shavasa. Shavasena should be five to ten

(39:38):
minutes really too, in order to feel the effects. And
if you don't practice yoga, right when you wake up
is a great time to do it. Also, you're lying
in bed, you're awake, but before you grab your phone,
can you just lie there for five minutes? For me,
a lot of the things that come up in conscious
rest are grotted twud, a sense of knowing where my

(40:02):
body is in time and place that otherwise gets lost
in the hustle and bustle and shuffle and quick pace
life that we live. It's a quick connection to self.
It's a check in with yourself. It's a noticing of
your breathing and noticing of any tension in your body.
It's tending to yourself. It's giving yourself that attention that

(40:27):
you so badly need in order to go out into
the world and protect yourself. So yeah, conscious rest. Next
topic and final topic is on pandiculation. Now, you thought
that I would be finished with my yoga teacher training
after my three hundred hour, but all that did was
sparked my interest in what's next. So my three hundred

(40:49):
hour at Yoga Shand was incredible. I learned so much
about the architecture of shapes and queuing and subtle but
important body mechanics, movement getting into a pose and achieving it,
modifications for those that can't or moments where we can't,
and then I've also been really drawn to something called

(41:10):
yoga somatics, which is kind of entirely different because it's
not free flow, but it's letting your body lead and
leaning into that. I've always been interested in somatics without
knowing that word. That's actually been my greatest tool in
therapy has been when my therapist stops me and says,
your body's doing this, or I notice that you're twitching

(41:31):
your arm or your leg is flinching, and from that
she stops me and I tune into my emotion. And
I've carried that out of the therapist office for years,
knowing that I noticed when my heart is beating a
little bit a bit more than usual, I noticed when
my stomach is tightening, and from there, I'm like, Hey,
what's up, what's going on? Lisa. Let you want to
go to the bathroom. If you're in the middle of dinner,

(41:51):
you want to have a combo, you on journal what's
going on. It's been an incredible tool to get to
know my body's wisdom by way of physical sensations. So
taking that into the yoga practice only makes perfect sense
for me. And this course is a little less unofficial
than my last course where we met a certain amount
of hours. This is much more self led, so I'm

(42:13):
going through it much more slowly. So according to Yoga
Somatics course that I'm in on pendiculation, whenever you reach, stretch,
or make some guttural or earthy type of noises when
getting out of bed for a while, you're initiating our
own human pendiculation response. We see it in cats, we
see that in babies all of the time, and yet

(42:34):
we don't really do it as humans because it's not
socially acceptable. If we're in a meeting and we have
to yawn, we try and hold it in like we
do so many things that are counter to what we need.
And pendiculation is our nervous system's natural way of waking
up our sensory motor system and preparing us for movement.

(42:56):
And I just love this because it's a great way
to initiate and move out of a sense of staleness
in our body. So even right now, just like initiate
a yawn, even if it's a fake one, ah, and
then stretch your arms up right, and you'd moved in
a certain way, and to tell you which way to go,
but you moved in a certain direction and it felt

(43:18):
a certain way, and hopefully you continue to move a
little bit, finding space in your own body. So it's
an automatic thing, but we can also consciously do it
to send biofeedback to our nervous system to help prevent
the build up of muscular tension, because instead of like
reaching up up up the whole day, so we tighten

(43:40):
and we clench, and then we don't know why we're
so tension, why our muscle hurts at the end of
the day. We can introduce this throughout the day and
really change the way we feel in our physical bodies
and within our nervous system. So I just love the
idea of pandiculation as voluntary, intentional movement and how ridiculous
it looks in the model in the world. Too open

(44:02):
your mouth, why just grudge your face, put your arms
up to the side. It feels so good, so primal,
and like we've been missing it all along. So that's
on pandiculation, and that is also a rap on this
week's Lisa Lately. I hope that you enjoyed it. I
hope you enjoyed this different, shifted side of me. I'm

(44:22):
feeling really good, aligned and in check. And I hope
that some of that is contagious to you and you
take that with you. I'd love to hear if you
love this episode, share it on social dm me leave
some reviews on Apple iTunes, and thanks for hanging with me.
I'll see you back here next week.
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