Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
No, you'll be.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Even when times gethard and you feel you're in the
you see just how beautiful life can be. When you
saten your heart, you can finally start to live your
(00:29):
to see us life.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Hello everybody, and happy May. Oh my gosh, I can't
believe that it's May. Truly, I can't believe it. I
know we say that a lot, but I am just wow.
Today I'm actually leaving to go to Guatemala for the
me Treat, the retreat that I have been planning for many, many,
many many months. This is an introspective and immersive journey
(00:52):
inward to rebirth, confidence and clarity. As many of you know,
it stemmed from my own personal need to take one
after coming a mother and many other instances in my
life where I needed it but couldn't find exactly what
I'm looking for, so coming up with the concept, creating it,
bringing it to Guatemala, bringing twenty plus people with me. Wow.
(01:13):
It has been a lot of work behind the scenes,
and I'm actually really excited and really impressed with the
universe for actually sending me the gift that I need.
At this exact moment, I am going to be working,
I'm going to be one of the facilitators going to
be creating the container for everybody and leading a couple
of things. But I'm also going to be experiencing some
(01:35):
of the magic as I bring on some amazing healers
and different modalities to help us get in touch with
our true essence. This was actually an easy choice to make,
a complex one given all that's been going on in
my home and my daughter getting sick, but in my
heart of hearts, knowing that I have everything secured here
(01:58):
and that if anything happened, I would right back, it
was actually an easy choice to make. I think that
choices are complex in that we struggle really hard to
make them, but when we get in touch with our
gut and we feel really solid in them, they become easy.
Even if they're complex and there's nuance to the conversation.
(02:18):
I know that I will be judged for taking this
trip because when I went to Guatemala to site visit
a couple months ago, I got some nasty comments and they,
you know, made me feel weird. But this time I
am so secure in what I'm doing that it's a
great lesson in making choices when they come from a
(02:39):
source of deep connection to self and your community. This
was not made an isolation without care for those involved
at home and conversations. But when all of that is
in place, you will not be riddled by the thoughts
of others. I'm truly very excited to go on this trip.
The group is incredible. We've had a WhatsApp going for
(02:59):
many months, and to actually be in person together, Wow,
I'm excited. So this week I'm going to be doing
something a little bit different on the Truthiest Life. I'm
going to be sharing a podcast episode that I listened
to from a podcast that I absolutely love. This one
is called Sex, Love and Spirituality by Colleen Sedman and
(03:21):
Rodney Ye. Both of them were my yoga teachers when
I did my Advanced Yoga teacher training at Yoga Shanti
this year. It's kind of interesting because many people probably
think that I pursued this additional yoga hours and training
and studies because of my love of yoga, which is
semi true. But the real reason that I did this
(03:43):
training was because of my draw towards Colleen, the host
of this podcast. Rodney ended up being the added bonus
that I didn't know so much about, and even though
he's a famous yogi, and people do love him. I
walked into a yoga studio last summer met Colleen and
just was like, Wow, this woman is the real deal
and I want to learn from her.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Truly, I have.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Had such a I've had the privilege to meet so
many wellness experts and all different spheres of wellness, and
I'm often let down because.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
People aren't the real deal.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
I like a person who is so steeped in their
practice that they practice more than they preach, and that
is definitely Colleen and Rodney to me. This entire podcast,
Yoga for Life is filled with intentionality and discussion on
beautiful top topics, but I chose this one to share
(04:43):
because Colleen interviews Rodney and some of my biggest AHA
moments came from a yoga teacher training by way of
Rodney and his brilliance. The way this man thinks is
just fascinating and abstract, but when you pair it with
Who's kind of like the meat and potatoes something you understand,
(05:04):
it becomes translatable and usable in our lives. Again, I
just love these two and I hope that this just
serves as an introduction to them to you, and if
you want more, you can listen to the rest of
her podcast, Yoga for Life. I highly recommend Colleen's book, Also,
Yoga for Life different than any book that I've ever
picked up before. Yes, it includes some yoga, but more importantly,
(05:26):
each chapter is on something very simple that we can
all relate to, whether that's grief or gratitude or addiction
or something like that, and she shares a personal story
steeped in wisdom in a way that's just like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
one of those those books. It's just beautiful and unlike
anything I've ever read before. And it also left to
(05:47):
share that Yoga Shanti, where I got my yoga teacher training,
has online classes that I think they're.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Like twenty dollars or so, don't hold me.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
To that, but if you are interested in Yoga Shanti,
it's also unlike anything else before. You at first might
be confused because it's very different than yoga that you
might know, but I promise if you go to one
or two classes, you won't be disappointed in how you're
feeling physically and mentally. These two are a gift to
my world. They have been an anchor for me in
(06:17):
my hardest moments. Their wisdom, their advice, their spot on
calling out of me has broken me open in a
way this year that has me quite honestly speechless. I'm
doing a lot less talking this year because of them
showing me that I have so much more to learn.
And it's a beautiful thing to take a step back
(06:39):
before you can step back in. And yes, I think
I've said enough about the episode. I hope you enjoy
this episode and I'll see you back here when I
return from Guatemala next week. Thank you so much for
hanging in with me in this strange season of life.
I'm so excited to introduce you to Colleen and Rodney
and this great episode on sex, love and spirituality.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Himalaya Jama Comama. I'm Colleen, said Mini, and this is
Yoga for lifeousness. There's an underlying belief that somehow we
(07:32):
aren't enough, that we are unworthy, frauds and losers. And
Yoga for Life we will uncover these self imposed limitations
that are keeping us from contentment and freedom. We will
talk about caring too much what others think, fear of
not adding up, seeking comfort, divorce, aging relationships, grief, power,
(07:52):
and of course sex. One of my favorite topics. In
this podcast, you can expect open, real and raw dialogue
about what keeps our, hearts heavy, spirit hidden, and potential limited.
We will give you yoga tools to peel back the layers,
to find compassion and love for the person that is
living in your body, and to learn to live the
(08:15):
present moment fully with all of its glory and its pain.
You're listening to Yoga for Life, a Himalaya Learning production.
For exclusive content like yoga videos to accompany the podcast
that you've just heard, go to Himalaya dot com and
enter promo code yoga for your first fourteen days free.
(08:37):
We hope you enjoy. If you are loving these podcasts,
it would be incredibly helpful if you could go to
Apple Podcasts and leave a review for Yoga for Life.
I will read them all, and with the help of Himalaya,
we will choose three to give free access to the
Himalaya Learning platform, where there's a lot of bonus material
(08:58):
from all of the podcasters. My offerings are yoga videos
that accompany each podcast. I'll announce three winners in my
eighth episode. So please go to Apple Podcasts and leave
Yoga for Life a review. Thank you. Every week we
(09:22):
will clear the slate and begin each podcast with a
short meditation. You don't have to know how to meditate,
you just sit, so find an easy seat. Close your eyes.
This is a meditation for sex, love, and spirituality. Have
(09:49):
a feeling in the entire body that you're in awe,
that you're presented with something that you love so much
that there's no words. Notice what happens to the soft
palate of your mouth. It rises like a dome. Bring
(10:13):
your awareness to your heart's center. Feel the support of
the front of your heart, the back of your heart,
the top and bottom of your heart, and the sides.
Like your heart is floating and supported. Bring your awareness
(10:33):
to your pelvis, specifically your pelvic floor. Feel the movement
of the pubic bone down, the magnet of the tailbone
to the earth, the drawing of the sit bones towards
each other, and the containment of the vitality of your
(10:56):
pelvic floor. Now spread the awareness to your entire body.
Feel the love and the soft palate of the mouth.
Notice the heart, the pelvic floor within the context of
the entirety of your body, and gather your hands in
(11:20):
front of your heart, bowing your head to your heart.
Dedicate your practice. This, this little practice of meditation, we
give it as a gift. Release your hands down and
slowly open your eyes. Welcome. I'm Colleen Sadman Yee and
(11:51):
this is Yoga for Life, a podcast where nothing is
off the table and all leads to the awareness that
we are enough. Today we're having a conversation with Rodney
Ye about sex, love and spirituality. Rodney is an internationally
renowned yoga leberty. He has been featured in more yoga
(12:12):
videos than any other yoga teacher in the world. His
passion is philosophy and the workings of this human body.
His main achievement, however, is that he has put up
with me for the last seventeen years. I introduce you
to my husband, Rodney Ye, a man that I spend
twenty four hours a day with. We are in love,
(12:36):
we have a lot of sex, and we are constantly
in the search for the meaning of spirituality. Hey baby,
thanks for being here.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
Hey sweetheard, I think you've said it all.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
It's really nice to be able to be in the
same room. I haven't had this opportunity on these podcasts
yet because of the social distancing. No mask today, So anyway,
let's just dive right in. You were instrumental in naming
this episode. How do you see that these three subjects
(13:10):
inform one another or even belong under the same heading,
the same category.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
First of all, let's talk about energy. I remember when
I was a teenage boy, all of a sudden, the
sexual energy took over like a tidal wave, and it became,
in some ways almost unbearable. It took over my life.
And as I realize aspects of love and aspects of spirituality,
(13:39):
I realized the study of both and the cultivation of
both depend on a great deal of energy. So one
might say the seed of the sexual energy should be
cultivated into love, and that spectrum of love should eventually
skyrocket into the world of spirituality.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
So are you saying that sex comes first?
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Not really, You might want to say, if it's not
too much, that it's a trinity here, and that one
doesn't necessarily precede the first. Though. I feel in the
natural life, maybe we actually feel that spiritual love first
from our mother. We have this amazing unconditional love, which
(14:29):
I would say is the highest spectrum. Self love is
somewhere in the middle spectrum of love. And then this
whole world of spirituality. Maybe we were born from that.
So it's very hard to tell what comes first, the
chicken or the egg. But as I follow my own life,
I sort of sense that there is a feeling of
(14:50):
some progression for my own life to work towards the
pinnacle of understanding my soul and my spirit.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
It all started with sex. You understand that, right, The
mother's love started with sex.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
That's a very good point. And you know, I think
that sex has the full spectrum also, so obviously, even
in the study of TNTRIC yoga, you're using that energy
of sex in a way that's going to really bring
the full cultivation of spirituality. These are mysteries, all of them.
Speaker 3 (15:30):
Where does spirituality come in? Is the moment after orgasm
a spiritual moment because there is that momentary feeling of
contentment or the place where there is nothing missing. Is
that maybe a moment of enlightenment.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Well it's funny because one of your teachers, Sharon Gannon,
which you quote all the time, says that yoga is
the state of nothing missing. And so I want to
reiterate that what you just said, I have to say
in my life the time that that feels the most
real is the moment after orgasm, and I have to
say that moment shows me in some ways another dimension
(16:11):
that is not lacking. So is there another way to
come to the state, or is there a way to
prolong that state? So in some sense that becomes the
foundation for my reality.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
So that was really sex to spirituality. And when my
mother had the talk with us, she would tell us
that sex was fun, it's not bad, but it needs
to be with the right person. And that right person
is somebody that you love, and even more importantly, someone
(16:46):
that loves you. So what are your thoughts about sex
and love? Are they mutually exclusive?
Speaker 4 (16:56):
This is a wonderful idea. I feel like in my
life I've had to figure out the dimensions of love
and sexuality, and I think it's very confusing at first.
To be honest, I think lust and sexuality is so
powerful that one might confuse it for at least an
aspect of love. I believe when love becomes more selfless
(17:19):
and more about the general well being of all beings,
then I do believe that you're in some ways traversing
the world of love and understanding the different components. And again,
this is not necessarily a ladder in which you climb.
I think it's important to visit all the different aspects
(17:40):
of love and express that I think we're meant to
express ourselves fully. For me, I really wish that people
really enjoy their sex life and really have an abundance
in that world, so that they have full enjoyment of
their body, and so they cultivate that enjoyment also into
feeling that they have abundance of energy for other things,
(18:04):
such as selfless love, that in fact they can give
up this self centeredness and come into a state where
love maybe is not just the answer, love is everything.
So in some ways sex belongs to the umbrella of love,
and love really is not without anything that we experience
(18:25):
in the human spectrum.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
So would you say that romantic love might be training
wheels for that universal selfless love.
Speaker 4 (18:36):
Well, again, I hate to put it in such a
linear fashion because sometimes I think maybe even children feel
more the spiritual aspects of love because they actually have
no sense of self yet. So I think in some
ways the spiritual pot actually may come first, and then
you fill it up with things that you may get
(18:56):
confused of, like is this what love is? And in
fact act. It's a return maybe back to that selflessness
and that place where you actually don't exist as a
separate entity. And therefore we make the full circle to
understand the variations on the theme and how important every
(19:16):
ingredient is in this gorgeous, beautiful life of ours.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
Yeah, I love that you brought in kids there and spirituality.
We always say, as we started saying that that place
where nothing is missing is spirituality. And when you come
back to kids, they are loved, they're not worried about
where their next meal is coming from. They have shelter
(19:41):
and they have wonder So it seems like they are
in that spiritual realm because nothing is missing, everything is
cared for. And I think in yoga class, when we're
curled up in fetal position, we get a glimpse of that.
It's like, okay, that's the position in mother's womb. I
was dancing with my mother's breath. I was feeling that connection,
(20:06):
that food, that shelter. Nothing was missing. So I feel
like we emulate that almost fetus in yoga class, and
maybe that's another glimpse of love and spirituality.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
One thing I'd like to say is you and I
have had wonderful childhoods. And so there are a lot
of children obviously that don't get fed, and they don't
have that love that we have felt so intimately in
our childhood. Yet you look in at child's eyes and
no matter what the circumstance, I feel, they still carry
(20:41):
that innocence that in some ways more connected to what
real spiritual love is. In fact, in the Bowinese culture,
they don't even let the infant touch the ground for
the first year, partly because they see that infant as
a link to the spiritual world and they in some
way want to maintain that link. So as we get older,
(21:03):
a lot of times our memory, our bodies that hold
the score, if you will, that keep the score. In
some ways, Eclipse are more foundational, broader, more complete sense
of spirituality and love. Maybe spirituality is complete selfless love.
(21:24):
And you know, we always consider that what I want
from you actually is unconditional love. And sometimes I test you.
I feel like, can I test you to the point
where you don't love me? And then therefore that shows
that your love is conditional. So I think some of
our romance has to do with trickery and difficulty, and
(21:45):
also tripping and falling because I think we're testing each other,
because we want to evolve into this place where no
matter who I am, Calleen, no matter what I do
in my life, Yes you can lock me up in
a prison somewhere, but still I want to know under
that blue sky you unconditionally love me. So whatever our
(22:06):
travel may be, I want to see the foundation of
that back again and to me somehow as a child,
no matter what the circumstance, I touch that more completely.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Do you think that unconditional love for another human being
is a possible and be even approachable if you don't
have that unconditional love for yourself?
Speaker 4 (22:45):
Self love is interesting and you might have caught during
the very first thing I said. I said, maybe self
love is in the middle of the spectrum. And again,
I don't want to consider that this is a ladder,
but I want to consider that all of the elements
are important. For instance, when you make soup, maybe there
is a progression of what you put in the pot
first slowly though you want all the ingredients in the pot,
(23:07):
because it is actually the completeness of this ministruanti soup
with a lot of different things that really makes it rich.
And it may even be flavors from the pot that
your parents cooked something in ten years ago. And so
in some ways, maybe this residue of love is a
recapitulation of thousands and millions of lifetimes thrown into the
(23:31):
pot of the body of now. And maybe still that
that completeness has to do with experience in every little
atom of love as it is unadulted, unjudged, and completely
flat out real.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
Yeah, a lot of the great sages that we study
don't necessarily have romantic love, and they have taken a
valved brahmacharia, which is sexual contains or celibacy, but they're
deep into the spirituality.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
I know.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
One of our favorite yoga stories is this man is
thinking that he's reached these heights of spirituality, and he
walks miles and knocks on the guru's door and says,
I'm seeing visions. I think I'm enlightened. You know, I've
been in my cave meditating for years, and the Guru says,
(24:27):
go back and be a householder. That's the only way
that you're going to understand the struggles in order to
find this kind of spirituality. Sitting in a cave is easy.
Being a householder is where the real work is.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
You know. It's funny. I think we all come into
this life with completely different set of experiences, and I
believe that some people need to go back and be
a householder. And I think maybe some people born into
this life have already done that, and so maybe they
actually can be an honest monk. And what I mean
(25:04):
by honest, I mean that, you know, when you talk
about sexual power and prowess, I think when that is
repressed at all, it comes out unfortunately, like we've seen
with monks, they're actually not cell a bit and they're
actually destroying their vows and they're also interrupting people's lives
with lies and dishonesty. But that is a repression. And
(25:26):
I think that we have to be very careful with
sexual energy that it gets expressed in a healthy way.
And when I mean healthy, there's as little injury as
possible to the world from you exploring your sexuality.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Someone who is addicted to sex. Sex can very well
be an addiction, a craving, a thinking that somehow I'm
going to finally get comfort if I can, instead of
take this drink, find some unknown person just to have
sex with. Maybe that's a search for spirituality. Maybe that's
(26:03):
just this craving for love. Maybe that's violence and harmful
to your own body.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Let's go back to the moment I told you about
after orgasm. It's an amazing state of being, and I
myself crave that state of being because I'm in pain
and I'm suffering most of the time. Not that that's
the overcovering of everything that I experience, but there is
definitely some insidious difficulty in my life. And when that's gone,
(26:35):
I mean, the feeling is so magnificent, So why wouldn't
I try to be addicted to that feeling. I'm naturally
going to be addicted to that. The question then is
does that addiction destroy other things so completely that I
can't actually continue to strive for that feeling? Is that
(26:56):
striving for that feeling actually more of the intense? And
this is where it becomes a tangled mess. You can
easily start putting knots all over the place, and this
is where you have to wait a little bit and say, no, wait,
I might be able to get to this place by
being inside the suffering, by actually experiencing life completely, by
(27:18):
being involved in the intensity of what I'm feeling. Inside
so that I'm not actually searching for a plateau of peace,
but I'm actually finding the seed of peace inside everything
that blooms.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
So that's a frame of reference. That moment after orgasm
is a frame of reference.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
It is I love the way you're saying that, because
I'm thinking, Wow, if I do these activities, I get
this feeling. But in fact, maybe that feeling is the truth.
So even though that's a frame of reference, I might
be able to get to that place, and definitely I
can reside in that place and let life rise from that.
(28:02):
But even Gandhi says, it takes so much more energy
to be peaceful than it does to be violent. And
therefore you understand why the religious text wants you to
cultivate the sexual energy because it's a big battery of
force and vibration. So if you can learn how to
in some ways cultivate it, then you can cultivate it
(28:24):
into finding actually what's below that instead of reaching for something,
you have to in some ways use this energy to
cut out the illusion of separateness, because it's the illusion
of separateness that I believe is the root of all suffering.
So the irony is that sexuality with or without someone
(28:45):
else feels like you're joining together to create this combustion
that actually then creates this result. But in fact, what
may be taking place as this combustion of energy may
actually be clearing the fog illution.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
So you're saying that practicing celibacy is containing that energy,
so you have that energy for spiritual selfless pursuit. But
then you're also saying that the physicality of sex is
releasing pressure, creating space, maybe coming back to that sense
(29:22):
of calm, which could also be spiritual, which is sort
of what we've been talking about this whole time. But
is that depleting your energy?
Speaker 4 (29:34):
Yes, you know, let's say you have a finite amount
of energy this battery, and you have to use it
to battery the tools that you're using for self discovery,
but there's no roadmap. For instance, you may use the
tool of a jackhammer, and I may use the tool
of an electric drill because somehow that's the appropriate tool
(29:56):
for me and my dharma in order to get to
the source. So I don't know how you're going to
drill into the center of your being, and I'm not
quite sure how I'm going to do it. For myself
and I love. In a Tibetan Buddhist text, I read
that in the world of spirituality, everybody must invent the
(30:17):
wheel themselves. So that's different than the physical world. Someone
invented the wheel a long time ago, and I'm riding
around in my car enjoying that invention. I don't even
know how that actually got solved. But in spirituality you
can get hints and wisdom from other people, but in
the end of the day, you have to slay these
(30:37):
internal dragons of illusion yourself. So you have to ask yourself,
is sex being overused so that it's actually keeping me
depleted and actually in this state of lethargy where I'm
not actually questing for spirituality.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
For us, it was explode of primal physical attraction right
off the bat, something that neither one of us could deny,
and that I believe came before the love, and we
were already both in a high quest for spirituality. So
(31:20):
therefore the order of this podcast, the sex, love spirituality
for us was the right sequence. We talk about sequencing
all the time, or it was our sequence, not necessarily
even the right sequence.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
Well, you know you always tell me in order to
go up, you got to go down, and so we
went down, baby, and now we're rising back up. And
I think we have really felt over the last seventeen
years the amazing fullness of having amazing sexual life and
also delving as deep as we can into trying to
(31:59):
understand what spirit is, and that love includes our entire
family now, brothers, sisters, moms and dads, sons and daughters,
aunts and uncles. And really it's not missing a thing.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
When you say go down, go ahead and explain that.
Speaker 4 (32:16):
Well, you always talk about Michael Jordan's saying, you know,
in order to jump high, you have to actually go
down and push into the earth. Well, I feel like
the sexuality is that earth. It's of the body, it's
of the earth. And I feel like to go down
and dwell in that source of energy and that subject
allows you to rise up, like a great redwood tree,
(32:38):
from the earth to the sky. And I feel like
the whole redwood tree is that at one point in time,
even as its seed, it's already touching the sky, and
even as it lays on its side dead, it has
been fully alive. And like Robinson Jeffers says in his
ode to his wife, burn her body she is completely
(33:00):
we used it. She has completely lived, and I feel
like I've been able to completely live through you and
with you.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I love you, I lust you, and I look forward
to the rest of our life and the search for spirituality.
Gather your hands in front of your heart, bowing your
head to your heart. The deepest part of me vows,
sees and loves the deepest part of you, not mis stay.
Speaker 4 (33:34):
I mustay.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Thank you for listening to Yoga for Life. We've been
having a real conversation here with Rodney Gue about sex,
love and spirituality. Thank you for joining and we'll see
you next week. Thank you for listening. To get the
(33:57):
most out of this show, check out the yoga videos
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To access exclusive content for this show and others like it,
(34:17):
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(34:39):
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(35:01):
and mixed by Cynthia Daniels at Monk Music Studios in Easthampton,
New York.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
The theme music for Yoga for Life was composed by
Rob and Melissa