January 24, 2023 • 44 mins
PART ONE - "He used to say, 'What are you looking at dear? You can't see you. Only I can see you.'"
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
We are not part of the outside world. It's separate
from us. There is no need for the outside world
because we are removed from it and apart from it,
and in our own unique sphere. We had our own universe, and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's where you would rehearse every day, most of the.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Time, all the time.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
There are no windows.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
We don't need windows because the outside world doesn't matter.
And it was exciting when I thought everybody was the
most beautiful cress on the earth that I'd ever seen,
and they were so talented. People were trained to hone
(01:19):
his particular sensibilities, even his ethics, so that there would
be a readiness in all of us to embody his visions.
We were christened, we were graced. We may not be
alive tomorrow, and what could you possibly lose.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
You literally have to know, You have to commit and know,
and so you give up everything else. It is a
twenty four to seven path, and you don't feel like
you can do anything else.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
He used to say, what are you looking at? What
are you looking at?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Dear? You can't see you, Only I can see you.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
In nineteen eighty two, a stream of people visited Roosevelt
Hospital in Manhattan. They went to the room at the
end of the hall on the left, a room with
an old man. The nurses hadn't seen anything like it.
It was like a pilgrimage. Many of the visitors were
in their twenties. They were thin and graceful, and carried
(02:55):
large bags that smelled like sweat. They were young ballerinas
who ansd for this man, women who saw him as
their father, their mother, their night in shining armor, their genius,
their lover, their husband, the most important person in their lives.
His name was George Balancine, but they called him mister B.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
I think he'd been in the hospital for so long
and was losing his mind and losing his words.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
This is Wilhelmina Frankfurt. She was one of the pilgrims.
She was twenty six years old, and she was a
ballerina at New York City Ballet, one of the most
prestigious ballet companies in the world. Mister B was the
one who put her there. At seventy eight, George Balancine
was the most famous choreographer alive. He had created an
(03:52):
entirely new style of ballet and popularized the art form
in America for fourteen years. Wilhelmina had danced for him
for fourteen years. He'd been the person who determined her fate.
He was also one of the people she loved most
in the world. But now his health was failing. Where
(04:16):
he once modeled arabesques for professional dancers, he now had
trouble balancing. He leaned on walls when he walked, He
led rehearsals seated. He couldn't hear music the same way anymore,
and he couldn't see the color blue correctly. And then
he felt. He'd been at the hospital for more than
(04:37):
a month now, with no sign of returning to his
ballet company. It was not a happy time for Wilhelmina.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I mean, I knew, we all knew that once he
was gone, things were gonna change.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
She went to the hospital when she could with groups
of dancers.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Sometimes they just.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Sit and say hi and just in between rehearsals.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But this time was different. This time she went alone.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I went with a mission.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Wilhelmina wanted his advice on a role she'd be dancing soon.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I wanted to ask balanching about it. I wanted to
hear what he had to say. And it was a
little bit of an excuse to go see him, And
somehow I think it's probably my denial.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
That he was dying.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Balancing was in a hospital bed in blue and white
striped pajamas and a robe.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
So I sat down with him and I said, I'm
going to do the Mother and Nutcracker, and can you
help me with the part. So then he kind of
sat up and started coaching.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
The balanging she knew came to life dancing from the
waist up in a way only balancing could.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
He said, give me your hand, and I give him
my hand. He said, no, don't give me your hand
like that hand. He had a big thing about how
you hold hands. He said, then men must take your
hand underneath, and this is how they kiss it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
He kissed her hand and looked at her almost flirtatious,
then let her hand drop to the bed sheet.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I didn't need much.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
I just wanted him to talk about it a little bit,
and then things you know, went from there.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Balannging told her to open a drawer.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Nearby in his hospital cabinet. He had these bottles of
sliv of its.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
It's really strong. Have you ever had sliv of it its?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Man, it's like Gasoline.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Wilhelmina didn't have a show that night. She thought, what
the hell? Ballenging patted the bed beside him, and like
she'd done so many times before with her choreographer, she
followed his direction. She hopped on.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
He said, dear, come under the covers.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
From iHeart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is the turning
room of mirrors America Lands, Part one. Only I can
see you in the US. There is ballet before George
(07:44):
Balanchine and ballet after George Balancine. He's so in the
water of American ballet that even now it's hard to
divorce him from what it is today, the beautiful parts
and the hard parts. He grew up dancing for the
Czar in Russia and survived revelation, but eventually he landed
in New York and created a ballet company, the New
(08:05):
York City Ballet. He drew a blueprint for how to
run a ballet school and a company under the rule
of an artistic director. He emphasized devotion to the art
form above all else. He choreographed pieces that were abstract,
that colored outside the lines of traditional ballet. He integrated
fast footwork and big movements into his technique pushed dancers
(08:27):
beyond their limits. These innovations vaulted him to a position
of power few artists ever reach. Chances are if you've
danced ballet in America, balancing has affected you. I know
he affected me. Last season we talked about Mother Teresa,
(08:53):
the most famous woman in the Catholic Church. She and
balancing are very different. But if there's a Mother Teresa
of American ballet, someone larger than life, I'd say it's
George Balancin. Like with Mother Teresa, there are myths and
legends surrounding Balanchine. He was put on a pedestal. He
(09:15):
created an insular world where dancers felt chosen, like they
were part of something bigger, and it was intoxicating. Dancers
described him as channeling his artistic vision from God and
dancers were the vessel for his art And like with
Mother Teresa, that can get very complicated. What was Balanchine's
(09:37):
role in his dancers' lives or in your life?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
She used to.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Say, I am your mother in class, I am a mother.
He well, he was everything.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Wilhelmina entered Balanchine's world for the first time in nineteen
sixty nine. She was thirteen years old. I had just
left her family to move to New York on her
own to attend balancing school the pipeline for his ballet company.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
They had these old studios on the Upper West Side
on eighty fourth and Broadway.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
There were stairs that led down into the studio where
the class was held, and she remembers one day she looked.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Up and what I thought was an old man who
was standing at the top of the stairs, and he
came down and he sat with the teacher, and suddenly
he came over and he had his hands all over
my body. I was doing Arabesque.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
She froze, suspended an arabesque, one leg lifted behind her,
an arm outstretched in front of her face.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
And he took my arabesque and he turned it so
that it was a more open position, and that my
hand was lengthy and extended and looking over my eyes.
And that was my introduction to George balancing. And I
didn't really understand what he was doing, but I understand
yet now that he was looking to see if I
was capable of what his vision for technique for his
(11:06):
ballants was.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It was her introduction to Balanjine's style of ballet unlike
anything she'd experienced before. Balancing had this fantastical way of
describing movement. He would tell dancers to present a foot
as if it were a diamond placed on a red
velvet pillow. Wilhelmina sensed that trusting him would lead to greatness.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
You are blessed with having been in the presence of
that kind of genius.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
And I was scared.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
I guess that I might not measure up, or I
wasn't as good as the other kids. I was nervous
about unlearning what I had been taught and relearning this new, complex,
very demanding technique.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
It was big, animated, acrobatic in ways that seemed physically
impossible to pull off.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
That technique. Balchi used to describe it as more. He
used to say more and more and more pork sausages,
mom more. It was more, higher, faster, sleeker, extended.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
This technique was just take what you know and push it.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
After that day in the classroom with Balancine, Wilhelmina often
noticed his eyes on her.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
He was watching me.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
How did it feel when Balanchi noticed you? When you
can tell he was watching you.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
You know, well, I loved it. You know, I loved it.
I mean, how could you not love it?
Speaker 5 (13:00):
But at one point he kept pulling me front, and
it became kind of embarrassing because I had friends that
it wasn't happening too. People would assume that you were
flirting or doing you know, and there was jealousy around it,
and that you were getting close to him because you
(13:25):
wanted to dance better parts.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Balancing had a track record of blurring the professional and
the personal, falling in love with his favorite dancers and
marrying some of them. At sixteen, Wilhelmina became an apprentice
with New York City Ballet, the transition from student to
potential professional dancer in Balancine's company.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
We got dressed up for class because you wanted him
to pay attention to Everybody wore flowers in their hair,
and he spoke that he spoke so quietly, like in
a rehearsal. Only dancers could hear him.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
You had to be totally tuned into him.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Totally tuned in well.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
He completely wanted all of our attention and all of
our devotion. Not unlike the convent, we were not supposed
to be interested in men. Balancing felt like if we
were distracted by a man. It would pull us away
from what he wanted us to do. He really wanted
(14:31):
us to be completely and totally, just deeply involved in
our dancing. He didn't really want you to have children.
He didn't really want you to get married. So nobody
got married, or if they did, it was in secret,
and you hid your boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Wilhelmina learned this the hard way.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
I was at a cafe across swimbling in Center called Allos,
and I was with.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
A date and who should walk by but Balancing. He
stopped in front of them.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
And he looked at the guy and he said, will
Helmina has the ability to make a man relax. I
think it was sort of an insult to the guy I.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Was And then he turned to Wilhelmina and he said.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Dear, you think you're in Paris, but you're not. And
I went, okay, got it.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
You know.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
What was he saying? Because I feel like often I
hear quotes from Balancing and they're indirect and I don't
know exactly what they mean.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
They're indirect, and he was sarcastic, very sarcastic. I think
what he meant by that is, you know, New York.
You're sitting outdoors, the buses go by, and it's you know,
loud and dirty, but you're not here in the romance
of Paris with this gentleman. I just took that as
I'm not that happy about this, you know, especially because
(16:04):
it's kind of like I was on his turf.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
In a way right across the street. I laughed, you know,
I just laughed at it. It was just out to
like just destroy my time with the guy. I think,
you whatever.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
I think he was just throwing his weight around mister
b letting the guy know she's mine.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I had her first, right, I had her first, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
At the same time, he's having relationships with some of
his dancers.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, he did, you don't.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
I don't know that I thought about it that much
at the time.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
It was just the way it was.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Balancine asked his dancers to keep their mind in the studio.
In the studio, he asked for their complete trust.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
He used to say, well, what are you looking at?
In terms of as an answer, we look in the mirror, right,
So he'd say, what are you looking at, dear? You
can't see you, only I can see you.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
To Wilhelmina. It meant the mirror could lie.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
You're just seeing an image of yourself fleeting as you're
going by. The audience is seeing something different. Don't listen
to the mirror.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Listen to my voice. You can't see you. Only I
can see you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Balancing controlled the company, controlled who got parts, controlled your life.
He could recast your role at any time. He could
you're out of the company. Your artistry and career were
in his hands, and he was seen as a living genius.
Many dancers have praised him for his gentlemanly manner. Others
have said he could be cold at times cruel even
(18:15):
if he didn't like your dancing. He might be sarcastic
or blunt. But Balancine seemed to like Wilhelmina. She wonders
if it's because she resembled one of his ex wives,
another dancer. She was built like her, had a long
nose like hers, and while some dancers feared mister b
Wilhelmina didn't. For some reason, she felt he was lonely.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
It was very easy for me to talk to him.
I think because he was ultimately very shy himself. He
wasn't that comfortable with that many.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
People, Balancine and Wilhelmina often walked in the same direction
at the end of the day, not surprising since all
of the dancers lived in the area, including mister b.
One night, when they were walking home, Wilhelmina had an idea.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
And I just turned him and said, do you want to
have dinner at my house sometime?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
He said yes.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
I said to him, I'm going to This is so
kid stupid. I'm going to cook coco van, which I
knew nothing about, nothing about it or how to cook it.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
No.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Wilhelmina was nineteen, Balanginge was seventy one, and Balancine was
big on food. He was known for his refined palette
and cooking. Wilhelmina was out of her depth.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
So I got a cocoa van recipe and I ran
to what was called the Nevada Meat Market. I said, help,
how do I cook coco van? I said, well, cut?
What would mister B by, And because that was where
he shopped, they said, oh, he would buy this, he
would buy that. So I got all this stuff and
then I went to sixty seven Wine in Spirits, which
(19:55):
was the liquor store I knew he went to and
I said, I need some wine that this Valachin would
like to drink, and they like laughed at me because
he's such a wine mystery, is like a wine collector.
And then they were like, how much do you want
to spend? I was like, ten dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
You know, I'm nineteen. I blew my whole paycheck on it.
He came over and he.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Showed up with two bottles of nineteen fifty seven Lafitte
Rothschild's Poiak.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I think it was a poiak.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
Those are now like five thousand dollars bottles of wine,
and even then they were hundreds of dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
So I was like, do you want my wine? Is no, dear,
I think we'll drink this.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
But at that dinner, that was like a turning point
in my relationship with him, because first of all, he
said he was really impressed with my cooking. But he
stayed a long time and we had an amazing conversation.
Amazing conversation. It wasn't sexual, honestly, I think he appreciated
(21:13):
that I asked him over for dinner, because for the
most part, he just went to dinner with his principal
dancers at the time, or he went home alone.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
People assumed that you were having sex with him or
whatever with him.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Balancine flirty, but he was such.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
A old world gallant gentleman about all of it. You know.
He did that thing where if he liked you, he
would buy you perfume.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
It was something he didn't do for everyone, just special dancers.
Wilhelmina knew this when she was about twenty one years
old on tour with the company in Paris. Balancine was
in his early seventies.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
We were in the theater, it was just a mo
in between rehearsals.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Valancine came over. He handed her a bag.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Pretty little shopping bag, and he just hear, there, this
is for you.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Inside was a bottle of perfume.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It was.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
A huge bottle of anfiny. He picked the scent, and
I was such a brat that it took up to
my hotel room and I decided I didn't like it,
so I poured half of it down the drain, Probably
poured hundreds of dollars perfume down the drain. And then
later when I got older, I was like, you are
(22:36):
an idiot, Willie.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
You are just an idiot.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well, it's understandable. I mean, he's picking how you smell,
and it is your body a war it And did
that feel like a big deal to you at the time,
where you're like, oh, he's kind of chosen me.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
I was a little embarrassed because by then I had
been around long enough to know that people gossiped he
was going to do that for you, that he was
sleeping with you.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
But he wasn't. I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
These insinuations felt manageable to Wilhelmina. She still saw Balanjing
as a non threatening old man, an old man who
gave her the opportunity to make meaningful art. She loved
to watch him spin dances out of thin air. She
remembers when he choreographed the opening moments of Symphony in
Three Movements. The composer igor Stravinsky had written the music
(23:31):
and personally told Balanjing it should be a ballet.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
And I remember mister bj just doing the first step,
which the music goes d drum boom boom, boom boom,
and we were all in a line, and he just
pulled his leg in tight sort of like a squat position,
rolled his right arm stuck it up in the air
and did press and push into a low arabesque position,
(23:58):
and he said, okay, everybody do that, so we all
did it. And the effect from that opening moment, it's
like you just knew that you were involved in what
was going to be a masterpiece.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
And the line of dancers and white leotards looked like
a line of cannons firing in a row. They windild
their arms, jab them straight, they weave in and out
of each other. They look like they're about to collide.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
He worked furiously, furiously. He had more energy than everyone.
And that was just one new rehearsal. Then he'd go
to the next rehearsal.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
The next rehearsal he'd weave a whole different piece that
would also go down in the dance history books. But
being the object of Valancine's artistic expression could be relentless.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
When you're working in that kind of intensity all the time,
you're doing eh shows a week, your rehearsal all day,
you're doing three ballets a night. You're doing some core parts,
some principal parts, some soloist parts. You don't have any
relief or any life at all. And there was no
counseling or no thinking about what's the mental health of
(25:16):
these young artists that didn't exist. You just had to
tough it out.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You might get cast in a difficult role last minute,
have to learn it immediately, and when you go on
stage to dance it, you know that how you perform
will determine your future. It's something Wilhelmina did a lot.
She remembers one time when she was thrown into a
complex piece right before a show.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
And I learned it on the spot. It's really hard.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
There's no music, it's just beeps and bops and things,
and so they talked me through that.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Mister b was in the elevator with her when she
went down to the stage to perform.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
And I was like, oh, and he said, just take
it one movement at a time, and she did. I
never got injured. I was on my way to everything.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
But a year after she got that perfume bottle, she
was running ragged. She'd been cast in Balancin's A Midsommer
Night's Dream. She was dancing the role of Hippolada. In
Greek mythology, Hippolada is the former queen of the Amazons.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
I didn't feel like I was suited to the role
because although I was long and tall and strong and
could do those kind of tall girl parts, this was
just not me.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
She even talked to Balancin about it.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
I said, I don't think this is a good part
for me, but it was like a test, like he
just wanted me to get through it.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
One day was particularly bad.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I just thought I was dancing so badly.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
I wasn't a great turner, you know, as good at
other things, but I was falling off my turns like
so badly. There's a set of fortes that you do
there with a bow and arrow in your hands, and
it's in the fog, and I was struggling with them anyway,
and I didn't get through it. And I failed in
(27:10):
this role so badly that I left the stage in
a stage rehearsal with an orchestra, which is a very
expensive rehearsal. I think I had a little nervous breakdown.
I think I was popping, you know, I was just
popping and I just couldn't handle it. I just walked
(27:30):
out of the theater in tears.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Wilmina decided to talk to Balanjing.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
I went to him and I said, I'd like to
take a leave of absence.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I just can't do this, but Balanging didn't want her
to go.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
He told me this story of there were twelve nuns
waiting for Christ to come down from heaven, and six
of them brought enough oil.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
I don't even know if this is a real Bible
story how he told it.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
Yeah, so he said, six of them brought enough oil
to last the night. Six only brought enough for a
little while. So the six that didn't bring enough had
to leave and go get oil. And when they came back,
Christ had already come and the other six nuns had
gone to heaven. That one I got right, you can go,
(28:32):
but I might not be here when you come back.
I guess that was his way of trying to talk
me out of it.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Right, And he's like the Christ figure in that analogy.
Oh yeah, that story he told about nuns missing their
chance at heaven, it wasn't just a story. It was real.
To dancers in the company. It was how the place worked.
There were always younger dancers waiting in the wings to
take your place, and Valentine had no problem moving on
(29:00):
without you.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
So I said to him, I understand that I'm taking
a risk that I had to leave.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
She took some time, worked at a clothing store, dated
got married, but her decision to leave didn't stick.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
Not long after, I was modeling at Tavern on the
Green in the clothing store, and I walked by it
and there he was.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
He was with another ballerina, one of his top dancers
and closest friends.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
And I walked by their table.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
I went oh, and he said, oh, dear, it's you.
And I realized that I missed dancing and I missed him.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I missed my life. So I called him.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
I had his phone number, I still have it in
an old day book, and I said, hello, mister B.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
It's the prodigal daughter.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Wilhelmina called balancing. But it was a long shot for
her to get accepted back into the company. Generally, once
you left, you were out, just rare exceptions.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
So I called him and I said, hello, mister B,
it's the prodigal daughter. And he said, oh, will Helmina.
I said, I want to come back, and he said,
meet me in my office tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
She showed up to his office. Her fate was in
his hands. They talked. He told her to come to
the theater the next day she could start dancing again.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
So he didn't punish me. He forgave me. He forgave
me for it.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
He'd forgiven her for leaving the company, for leaving him.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
I come to find out that it was unheard of,
so he really was so good to me. However, in
that meeting was the first time he tried to kiss me,
and you're the first person.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I've told that too.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
What happened.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
It was kind of like to seal the deal. He
went in and I pushed him away. I said, mister
b I'm married.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
It was.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
Awkward because I knew that I was treating him like
a man much older than myself and which she was,
which she was. And also it's awkward to refuse anybody
(32:09):
in life, and awkward for me to stop somebody who'd
been so good to me and who I cared about
so much, So that was really complicated.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
When Wilhelmina said she was married, Balanjing pulled back.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
He stopped.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
He just like went, okay, yeah, I got up and left.
I got up and left.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
It was really it was not that big, but I
guess it was big, right.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
As sometimes those things are. They're like kind of both
at once.
Speaker 8 (32:42):
Yeah, that's an intense moment for him to try to
kiss you, because it was the moment which she almost
had the most power over you, because he wanted to
come back and he was going to decide whether you
did or not.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And in that meeting he leans in to kiss you.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Which is like, are you going to get your job
back or not?
Speaker 5 (33:08):
But I mean I was. I had been, you know,
in a way refusing him. Always in retrospect.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
There had been that energy in the air throughout.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Yes, absolutely there was that energy. There was that energy.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
When you feel that energy, sometimes you can't always put
your finger on it, but you know it's there.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
It was a complicated moment, very complicated moment emotionally. It
never came up again till the hospital Roosevelt Hospital, December
nineteen eighty two, when Balanchine was seventy eight years old,
Wilhelmina was twenty six. She visited him to ask about
her role in Balanchine's Nutcracker. She had requested to play
(33:59):
the role of the mother of the main character. It
wasn't a fancy part, but she'd been thinking about motherhood lately.
Of course, Balanchine didn't like his dancers to have kids,
Like a lot of dancers in the company. She'd had
several abortions.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
And I wanted to have children.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I was getting older, and there was this one moment
in particular she couldn't wait to perform. It's a simple moment.
It doesn't exist in other versions of the ballet, just
in Balanchines.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
There's this incredible piece of music. It's a violin solo,
and all it is is the mother with a candle
walking across in the front of the stage looking for.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Marie, looking for her daughter.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
She's looking for her because she's not in her bed.
She's fallen asleep by the Christmas tree with her nutcracker,
which her mother wouldn't let her take to bed. So
the scrim is down. In this violin solo happens. You
walk across and you're looking, looking, looking, and this scrim goes.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Up and Marie is there.
Speaker 5 (35:07):
She's fallen asleep, and then all you do is cover
her up, and it's just a really beautiful moment that
Balanchine added to the story.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Valancine told her that as the mother in this ballet,
she was the ground dome of the house. She had
to be elegant. He showed her how the men should
kiss her hand. He directed her to get the bottle
of Slivovitz and join him on the bed, and Wilhelmina
began her dance with Balanchine, the strangest ballet she'd ever danced.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
And we drank.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
We drank it out of hospital glasses. There were real
glasses at the time. We talked about all kinds of
things while we were drinking. We talked about the theater.
We were laughing. He had this calendar with Christy Brinkley
on it, know pin up calendar of hers. He said, dear,
come under the covers. So I got under the covers.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
He put one arm around her.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Women were his whole life. Women were his inspiration. So
to have one of your women come in and be
with you in a way, it's like that's the It
was always the conquest for him to always enjoy women,
including physically.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
It's funny.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
In the hospital, it didn't bother me because I felt
almost like how you know, when you're really sick, you're
like a mother, almost like you get into bed to
hold the person and comfort them. I felt like that.
I didn't feel grossed out by it. I felt sad
(36:54):
for him, and also I was very drunk. It must
have been a really hilarious looking vision of the two
of us in that hospital bed, like sitting under the
covers together drinking. But also how normal, you know what
I mean, what you would do with someone that you
love that's at the end of their life. You do
(37:17):
whatever it tanks to just have a good time with him.
And as long as that person was alive and functioning
that my life was kind of okay too.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Half the bottle of Slivovitz was gone now.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
And he tried to open my shirt. He said, just
let me investigate a little.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Wilhelmina pretended to be in control to know what to do.
Part of her thought, after all of these years resisting,
maybe just let him.
Speaker 5 (37:51):
I said, ah, no, mister v come on, you know,
And he said, no, just a little, dear. So I
did let him open my shirt and he didn't get
very far.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Then he tried to kiss her. She held her lips shut.
Wilhelmina would write about this moment later, with some distance.
She wrote about how Balancine was like a father to her.
He was to many. She wrote, his hands are there,
but fathers don't do this. And because I love this
(38:21):
father so much, and because I hate him for not
loving me enough to not do this, I push him
away and step off the bed.
Speaker 5 (38:31):
I stumbled out of the hospital with the rest of
the bottle in my hand.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Into a cab like what.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
Three four five six and one two three.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
Four five six and one. Choose you have to stay,
just stay.
Speaker 6 (38:58):
Yeah you guys.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Forty years later, she doesn't perform ballet anymore. Instead, she teaches, yeah, guys, trying.
Speaker 6 (39:07):
To make this one had that emotional.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Piece to it, right.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
I think the way that Elle put it. Field of
music through your body, field of music through your body
and your face.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
She's the artistic director of a ballet school in California,
the Stapleton School of the Performing Arts.
Speaker 5 (39:27):
And yeah, breath, look at that flow of.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Feud at all?
Speaker 6 (39:32):
Then ah.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
This week she's teaching a special workshop for her teenage students.
It's all about balancing, but she doesn't tell them this
hospital story. Instead, she tells them about how to open
their arabesques by pulling one shoulder back the way mister
b tatter to. She tells them what it was like
to dance for mister.
Speaker 5 (39:54):
B mister brownche was very involved in our indivi visuality.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
He took a lot of time to understand who you are.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
She teaches them the choreography he.
Speaker 5 (40:08):
Goes almost ready to perform.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
And how to move their feet.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
Little feet, and those boys keep up little.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
And she shows these students why she loves balancing.
Speaker 5 (40:20):
She had the same growth in the music again, write
in the new success swell here and you have to
swell within yourself.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Most of all, she talks about his artistry, but made
balancing great.
Speaker 6 (40:33):
Yeah, wow, all the way to the end.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
You're so quiet.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
She's one of many dancers who do this, former ballerinas
who passed down his repertoire all around the world, like
priestesses with sacred knowledge. They need to pass on, afraid
that the nuances of his art will be lost.
Speaker 5 (41:11):
There are not very many of us left around that
actually grew up with balancing. We are a dying breed
and we know it. I realized that it was like
I grew up with Mozart.
Speaker 8 (41:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I came across this one quote I can't stop thinking about.
It's from Vera Zorina, one of Balanging's wives. Like all
of his wives. She was a ballerina who danced for him.
She wrote quote. He would speak of the suffering faces
of dancers, comparing them to saints. He meant spiritual suffering.
(41:52):
To George, dancers were saints because they worked harder and longer,
were obedient, never talked back, were always paid the least,
and then went on stage and danced like angels. To me,
this sums up how Balangin wanted the women in his
company to be Balangine's. Dancers would change their bodies for him,
(42:14):
some through extreme dieting, drugs, or surgery. Some would have
abortions or avoid romantic relationships to focus on the job.
Some would fall in love with Balancine, and decades after
Balangin died, ballerinas are still dancing for him, still seeking
his approval. Coming up on The Turning.
Speaker 7 (43:05):
I'm serving something larger than myself. If it's not God,
than the art form or Balancine. For me, it felt
like it's like Balancine's ghosts or something.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
The Turning is a production of Rococo Punch and iHeart Podcasts.
It's written and produced by Alan Lance Lesser and me.
Our story editor is Emily Foreman. Mixing and sound designed
by James Trout. Jessica Krisa is our assistant producer. Andrea
Assuage is our digital producer. Fact checking by Andrea Lopez
(43:45):
Crusado Special thanks to Kate Osborne and Natalie Jones. Our
executive producers are John Parratti and Jessica Alpert at Rococo
Punch at Katrina Norbel and Nikki Etour at iHeart Podcasts.
For photos and more details on the series, follow us
(44:06):
on Instagram at Rococo Punch, and you can reach out
via email The Turning at Rococo Punch dot com. I'm
Erica Lance. Thanks for listening.
We are not part of the outside world. It's separate
from us. There is no need for the outside world
because we are removed from it and apart from it,
and in our own unique sphere. We had our own universe, and.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
That's where you would rehearse every day, most of the.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Time, all the time.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
There are no windows.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
We don't need windows because the outside world doesn't matter.
And it was exciting when I thought everybody was the
most beautiful cress on the earth that I'd ever seen,
and they were so talented. People were trained to hone
(01:19):
his particular sensibilities, even his ethics, so that there would
be a readiness in all of us to embody his visions.
We were christened, we were graced. We may not be
alive tomorrow, and what could you possibly lose.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
You literally have to know, You have to commit and know,
and so you give up everything else. It is a
twenty four to seven path, and you don't feel like
you can do anything else.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
He used to say, what are you looking at? What
are you looking at?
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Dear? You can't see you, Only I can see you.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
In nineteen eighty two, a stream of people visited Roosevelt
Hospital in Manhattan. They went to the room at the
end of the hall on the left, a room with
an old man. The nurses hadn't seen anything like it.
It was like a pilgrimage. Many of the visitors were
in their twenties. They were thin and graceful, and carried
(02:55):
large bags that smelled like sweat. They were young ballerinas
who ansd for this man, women who saw him as
their father, their mother, their night in shining armor, their genius,
their lover, their husband, the most important person in their lives.
His name was George Balancine, but they called him mister B.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
I think he'd been in the hospital for so long
and was losing his mind and losing his words.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
This is Wilhelmina Frankfurt. She was one of the pilgrims.
She was twenty six years old, and she was a
ballerina at New York City Ballet, one of the most
prestigious ballet companies in the world. Mister B was the
one who put her there. At seventy eight, George Balancine
was the most famous choreographer alive. He had created an
(03:52):
entirely new style of ballet and popularized the art form
in America for fourteen years. Wilhelmina had danced for him
for fourteen years. He'd been the person who determined her fate.
He was also one of the people she loved most
in the world. But now his health was failing. Where
(04:16):
he once modeled arabesques for professional dancers, he now had
trouble balancing. He leaned on walls when he walked, He
led rehearsals seated. He couldn't hear music the same way anymore,
and he couldn't see the color blue correctly. And then
he felt. He'd been at the hospital for more than
(04:37):
a month now, with no sign of returning to his
ballet company. It was not a happy time for Wilhelmina.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
I mean, I knew, we all knew that once he
was gone, things were gonna change.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
She went to the hospital when she could with groups
of dancers.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
Sometimes they just.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Sit and say hi and just in between rehearsals.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But this time was different. This time she went alone.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
I went with a mission.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Wilhelmina wanted his advice on a role she'd be dancing soon.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I wanted to ask balanching about it. I wanted to
hear what he had to say. And it was a
little bit of an excuse to go see him, And
somehow I think it's probably my denial.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
That he was dying.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Balancing was in a hospital bed in blue and white
striped pajamas and a robe.
Speaker 5 (05:33):
So I sat down with him and I said, I'm
going to do the Mother and Nutcracker, and can you
help me with the part. So then he kind of
sat up and started coaching.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
The balanging she knew came to life dancing from the
waist up in a way only balancing could.
Speaker 5 (05:56):
He said, give me your hand, and I give him
my hand. He said, no, don't give me your hand
like that hand. He had a big thing about how
you hold hands. He said, then men must take your
hand underneath, and this is how they kiss it.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
He kissed her hand and looked at her almost flirtatious,
then let her hand drop to the bed sheet.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
I didn't need much.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
I just wanted him to talk about it a little bit,
and then things you know, went from there.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Balannging told her to open a drawer.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Nearby in his hospital cabinet. He had these bottles of
sliv of its.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
It's really strong. Have you ever had sliv of it its?
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Man, it's like Gasoline.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Wilhelmina didn't have a show that night. She thought, what
the hell? Ballenging patted the bed beside him, and like
she'd done so many times before with her choreographer, she
followed his direction. She hopped on.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
He said, dear, come under the covers.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
From iHeart Podcasts and Rococo Punch, this is the turning
room of mirrors America Lands, Part one. Only I can
see you in the US. There is ballet before George
(07:44):
Balanchine and ballet after George Balancine. He's so in the
water of American ballet that even now it's hard to
divorce him from what it is today, the beautiful parts
and the hard parts. He grew up dancing for the
Czar in Russia and survived revelation, but eventually he landed
in New York and created a ballet company, the New
(08:05):
York City Ballet. He drew a blueprint for how to
run a ballet school and a company under the rule
of an artistic director. He emphasized devotion to the art
form above all else. He choreographed pieces that were abstract,
that colored outside the lines of traditional ballet. He integrated
fast footwork and big movements into his technique pushed dancers
(08:27):
beyond their limits. These innovations vaulted him to a position
of power few artists ever reach. Chances are if you've
danced ballet in America, balancing has affected you. I know
he affected me. Last season we talked about Mother Teresa,
(08:53):
the most famous woman in the Catholic Church. She and
balancing are very different. But if there's a Mother Teresa
of American ballet, someone larger than life, I'd say it's
George Balancin. Like with Mother Teresa, there are myths and
legends surrounding Balanchine. He was put on a pedestal. He
(09:15):
created an insular world where dancers felt chosen, like they
were part of something bigger, and it was intoxicating. Dancers
described him as channeling his artistic vision from God and
dancers were the vessel for his art And like with
Mother Teresa, that can get very complicated. What was Balanchine's
(09:37):
role in his dancers' lives or in your life?
Speaker 3 (09:41):
She used to.
Speaker 5 (09:42):
Say, I am your mother in class, I am a mother.
He well, he was everything.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
Wilhelmina entered Balanchine's world for the first time in nineteen
sixty nine. She was thirteen years old. I had just
left her family to move to New York on her
own to attend balancing school the pipeline for his ballet company.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
They had these old studios on the Upper West Side
on eighty fourth and Broadway.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
There were stairs that led down into the studio where
the class was held, and she remembers one day she looked.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
Up and what I thought was an old man who
was standing at the top of the stairs, and he
came down and he sat with the teacher, and suddenly
he came over and he had his hands all over
my body. I was doing Arabesque.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
She froze, suspended an arabesque, one leg lifted behind her,
an arm outstretched in front of her face.
Speaker 5 (10:42):
And he took my arabesque and he turned it so
that it was a more open position, and that my
hand was lengthy and extended and looking over my eyes.
And that was my introduction to George balancing. And I
didn't really understand what he was doing, but I understand
yet now that he was looking to see if I
was capable of what his vision for technique for his
(11:06):
ballants was.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
It was her introduction to Balanjine's style of ballet unlike
anything she'd experienced before. Balancing had this fantastical way of
describing movement. He would tell dancers to present a foot
as if it were a diamond placed on a red
velvet pillow. Wilhelmina sensed that trusting him would lead to greatness.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
You are blessed with having been in the presence of
that kind of genius.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
And I was scared.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
I guess that I might not measure up, or I
wasn't as good as the other kids. I was nervous
about unlearning what I had been taught and relearning this new, complex,
very demanding technique.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
It was big, animated, acrobatic in ways that seemed physically
impossible to pull off.
Speaker 5 (12:07):
That technique. Balchi used to describe it as more. He
used to say more and more and more pork sausages,
mom more. It was more, higher, faster, sleeker, extended.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
This technique was just take what you know and push it.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
After that day in the classroom with Balancine, Wilhelmina often
noticed his eyes on her.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
He was watching me.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
How did it feel when Balanchi noticed you? When you
can tell he was watching you.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
You know, well, I loved it. You know, I loved it.
I mean, how could you not love it?
Speaker 5 (13:00):
But at one point he kept pulling me front, and
it became kind of embarrassing because I had friends that
it wasn't happening too. People would assume that you were
flirting or doing you know, and there was jealousy around it,
and that you were getting close to him because you
(13:25):
wanted to dance better parts.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Balancing had a track record of blurring the professional and
the personal, falling in love with his favorite dancers and
marrying some of them. At sixteen, Wilhelmina became an apprentice
with New York City Ballet, the transition from student to
potential professional dancer in Balancine's company.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
We got dressed up for class because you wanted him
to pay attention to Everybody wore flowers in their hair,
and he spoke that he spoke so quietly, like in
a rehearsal. Only dancers could hear him.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
You had to be totally tuned into him.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Totally tuned in well.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
He completely wanted all of our attention and all of
our devotion. Not unlike the convent, we were not supposed
to be interested in men. Balancing felt like if we
were distracted by a man. It would pull us away
from what he wanted us to do. He really wanted
(14:31):
us to be completely and totally, just deeply involved in
our dancing. He didn't really want you to have children.
He didn't really want you to get married. So nobody
got married, or if they did, it was in secret,
and you hid your boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Wilhelmina learned this the hard way.
Speaker 5 (14:55):
I was at a cafe across swimbling in Center called Allos,
and I was with.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
A date and who should walk by but Balancing. He
stopped in front of them.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
And he looked at the guy and he said, will
Helmina has the ability to make a man relax. I
think it was sort of an insult to the guy I.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Was And then he turned to Wilhelmina and he said.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Dear, you think you're in Paris, but you're not. And
I went, okay, got it.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
You know.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
What was he saying? Because I feel like often I
hear quotes from Balancing and they're indirect and I don't
know exactly what they mean.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
They're indirect, and he was sarcastic, very sarcastic. I think
what he meant by that is, you know, New York.
You're sitting outdoors, the buses go by, and it's you know,
loud and dirty, but you're not here in the romance
of Paris with this gentleman. I just took that as
I'm not that happy about this, you know, especially because
(16:04):
it's kind of like I was on his turf.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
In a way right across the street. I laughed, you know,
I just laughed at it. It was just out to
like just destroy my time with the guy. I think,
you whatever.
Speaker 5 (16:18):
I think he was just throwing his weight around mister
b letting the guy know she's mine.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
I had her first, right, I had her first, you know.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
At the same time, he's having relationships with some of
his dancers.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Yeah, he did, you don't.
Speaker 5 (16:37):
I don't know that I thought about it that much
at the time.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
It was just the way it was.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Balancine asked his dancers to keep their mind in the studio.
In the studio, he asked for their complete trust.
Speaker 5 (16:58):
He used to say, well, what are you looking at?
In terms of as an answer, we look in the mirror, right,
So he'd say, what are you looking at, dear? You
can't see you, only I can see you.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
To Wilhelmina. It meant the mirror could lie.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
You're just seeing an image of yourself fleeting as you're
going by. The audience is seeing something different. Don't listen
to the mirror.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Listen to my voice. You can't see you. Only I
can see you.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Balancing controlled the company, controlled who got parts, controlled your life.
He could recast your role at any time. He could
you're out of the company. Your artistry and career were
in his hands, and he was seen as a living genius.
Many dancers have praised him for his gentlemanly manner. Others
have said he could be cold at times cruel even
(18:15):
if he didn't like your dancing. He might be sarcastic
or blunt. But Balancine seemed to like Wilhelmina. She wonders
if it's because she resembled one of his ex wives,
another dancer. She was built like her, had a long
nose like hers, and while some dancers feared mister b
Wilhelmina didn't. For some reason, she felt he was lonely.
Speaker 5 (18:37):
It was very easy for me to talk to him.
I think because he was ultimately very shy himself. He
wasn't that comfortable with that many.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
People, Balancine and Wilhelmina often walked in the same direction
at the end of the day, not surprising since all
of the dancers lived in the area, including mister b.
One night, when they were walking home, Wilhelmina had an idea.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
And I just turned him and said, do you want to
have dinner at my house sometime?
Speaker 2 (19:05):
He said yes.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
I said to him, I'm going to This is so
kid stupid. I'm going to cook coco van, which I
knew nothing about, nothing about it or how to cook it.
Speaker 7 (19:18):
No.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Wilhelmina was nineteen, Balanginge was seventy one, and Balancine was
big on food. He was known for his refined palette
and cooking. Wilhelmina was out of her depth.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
So I got a cocoa van recipe and I ran
to what was called the Nevada Meat Market. I said, help,
how do I cook coco van? I said, well, cut?
What would mister B by, And because that was where
he shopped, they said, oh, he would buy this, he
would buy that. So I got all this stuff and
then I went to sixty seven Wine in Spirits, which
(19:55):
was the liquor store I knew he went to and
I said, I need some wine that this Valachin would
like to drink, and they like laughed at me because
he's such a wine mystery, is like a wine collector.
And then they were like, how much do you want
to spend? I was like, ten dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
You know, I'm nineteen. I blew my whole paycheck on it.
He came over and he.
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Showed up with two bottles of nineteen fifty seven Lafitte
Rothschild's Poiak.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I think it was a poiak.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
Those are now like five thousand dollars bottles of wine,
and even then they were hundreds of dollars.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
So I was like, do you want my wine? Is no, dear,
I think we'll drink this.
Speaker 5 (20:50):
But at that dinner, that was like a turning point
in my relationship with him, because first of all, he
said he was really impressed with my cooking. But he
stayed a long time and we had an amazing conversation.
Amazing conversation. It wasn't sexual, honestly, I think he appreciated
(21:13):
that I asked him over for dinner, because for the
most part, he just went to dinner with his principal
dancers at the time, or he went home alone.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
I don't know why.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
People assumed that you were having sex with him or
whatever with him.
Speaker 3 (21:31):
Balancine flirty, but he was such.
Speaker 5 (21:33):
A old world gallant gentleman about all of it. You know.
He did that thing where if he liked you, he
would buy you perfume.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
It was something he didn't do for everyone, just special dancers.
Wilhelmina knew this when she was about twenty one years
old on tour with the company in Paris. Balancine was
in his early seventies.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
We were in the theater, it was just a mo
in between rehearsals.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
Valancine came over. He handed her a bag.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Pretty little shopping bag, and he just hear, there, this
is for you.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Inside was a bottle of perfume.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
It was.
Speaker 5 (22:15):
A huge bottle of anfiny. He picked the scent, and
I was such a brat that it took up to
my hotel room and I decided I didn't like it,
so I poured half of it down the drain, Probably
poured hundreds of dollars perfume down the drain. And then
later when I got older, I was like, you are
(22:36):
an idiot, Willie.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
You are just an idiot.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well, it's understandable. I mean, he's picking how you smell,
and it is your body a war it And did
that feel like a big deal to you at the time,
where you're like, oh, he's kind of chosen me.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
I was a little embarrassed because by then I had
been around long enough to know that people gossiped he
was going to do that for you, that he was
sleeping with you.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
But he wasn't. I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
These insinuations felt manageable to Wilhelmina. She still saw Balanjing
as a non threatening old man, an old man who
gave her the opportunity to make meaningful art. She loved
to watch him spin dances out of thin air. She
remembers when he choreographed the opening moments of Symphony in
Three Movements. The composer igor Stravinsky had written the music
(23:31):
and personally told Balanjing it should be a ballet.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
And I remember mister bj just doing the first step,
which the music goes d drum boom boom, boom boom,
and we were all in a line, and he just
pulled his leg in tight sort of like a squat position,
rolled his right arm stuck it up in the air
and did press and push into a low arabesque position,
(23:58):
and he said, okay, everybody do that, so we all
did it. And the effect from that opening moment, it's
like you just knew that you were involved in what
was going to be a masterpiece.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
And the line of dancers and white leotards looked like
a line of cannons firing in a row. They windild
their arms, jab them straight, they weave in and out
of each other. They look like they're about to collide.
Speaker 5 (24:31):
He worked furiously, furiously. He had more energy than everyone.
And that was just one new rehearsal. Then he'd go
to the next rehearsal.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
The next rehearsal he'd weave a whole different piece that
would also go down in the dance history books. But
being the object of Valancine's artistic expression could be relentless.
Speaker 5 (24:53):
When you're working in that kind of intensity all the time,
you're doing eh shows a week, your rehearsal all day,
you're doing three ballets a night. You're doing some core parts,
some principal parts, some soloist parts. You don't have any
relief or any life at all. And there was no
counseling or no thinking about what's the mental health of
(25:16):
these young artists that didn't exist. You just had to
tough it out.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
You might get cast in a difficult role last minute,
have to learn it immediately, and when you go on
stage to dance it, you know that how you perform
will determine your future. It's something Wilhelmina did a lot.
She remembers one time when she was thrown into a
complex piece right before a show.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
And I learned it on the spot. It's really hard.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
There's no music, it's just beeps and bops and things,
and so they talked me through that.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Mister b was in the elevator with her when she
went down to the stage to perform.
Speaker 5 (25:50):
And I was like, oh, and he said, just take
it one movement at a time, and she did. I
never got injured. I was on my way to everything.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
But a year after she got that perfume bottle, she
was running ragged. She'd been cast in Balancin's A Midsommer
Night's Dream. She was dancing the role of Hippolada. In
Greek mythology, Hippolada is the former queen of the Amazons.
Speaker 5 (26:24):
I didn't feel like I was suited to the role
because although I was long and tall and strong and
could do those kind of tall girl parts, this was
just not me.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
She even talked to Balancin about it.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
I said, I don't think this is a good part
for me, but it was like a test, like he
just wanted me to get through it.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
One day was particularly bad.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
I just thought I was dancing so badly.
Speaker 5 (26:48):
I wasn't a great turner, you know, as good at
other things, but I was falling off my turns like
so badly. There's a set of fortes that you do
there with a bow and arrow in your hands, and
it's in the fog, and I was struggling with them anyway,
and I didn't get through it. And I failed in
(27:10):
this role so badly that I left the stage in
a stage rehearsal with an orchestra, which is a very
expensive rehearsal. I think I had a little nervous breakdown.
I think I was popping, you know, I was just
popping and I just couldn't handle it. I just walked
(27:30):
out of the theater in tears.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Wilmina decided to talk to Balanjing.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
I went to him and I said, I'd like to
take a leave of absence.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I just can't do this, but Balanging didn't want her
to go.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
He told me this story of there were twelve nuns
waiting for Christ to come down from heaven, and six
of them brought enough oil.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
I don't even know if this is a real Bible
story how he told it.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
Yeah, so he said, six of them brought enough oil
to last the night. Six only brought enough for a
little while. So the six that didn't bring enough had
to leave and go get oil. And when they came back,
Christ had already come and the other six nuns had
gone to heaven. That one I got right, you can go,
(28:32):
but I might not be here when you come back.
I guess that was his way of trying to talk
me out of it.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Right, And he's like the Christ figure in that analogy.
Oh yeah, that story he told about nuns missing their
chance at heaven, it wasn't just a story. It was real.
To dancers in the company. It was how the place worked.
There were always younger dancers waiting in the wings to
take your place, and Valentine had no problem moving on
(29:00):
without you.
Speaker 5 (29:02):
So I said to him, I understand that I'm taking
a risk that I had to leave.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
She took some time, worked at a clothing store, dated
got married, but her decision to leave didn't stick.
Speaker 5 (29:21):
Not long after, I was modeling at Tavern on the
Green in the clothing store, and I walked by it
and there he was.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
He was with another ballerina, one of his top dancers
and closest friends.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
And I walked by their table.
Speaker 5 (29:36):
I went oh, and he said, oh, dear, it's you.
And I realized that I missed dancing and I missed him.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
I missed my life. So I called him.
Speaker 5 (29:54):
I had his phone number, I still have it in
an old day book, and I said, hello, mister B.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
It's the prodigal daughter.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Wilhelmina called balancing. But it was a long shot for
her to get accepted back into the company. Generally, once
you left, you were out, just rare exceptions.
Speaker 5 (30:32):
So I called him and I said, hello, mister B,
it's the prodigal daughter. And he said, oh, will Helmina.
I said, I want to come back, and he said,
meet me in my office tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
She showed up to his office. Her fate was in
his hands. They talked. He told her to come to
the theater the next day she could start dancing again.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
So he didn't punish me. He forgave me. He forgave
me for it.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
He'd forgiven her for leaving the company, for leaving him.
Speaker 5 (31:11):
I come to find out that it was unheard of,
so he really was so good to me. However, in
that meeting was the first time he tried to kiss me,
and you're the first person.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
I've told that too.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
What happened.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
It was kind of like to seal the deal. He
went in and I pushed him away. I said, mister
b I'm married.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
It was.
Speaker 5 (31:48):
Awkward because I knew that I was treating him like
a man much older than myself and which she was,
which she was. And also it's awkward to refuse anybody
(32:09):
in life, and awkward for me to stop somebody who'd
been so good to me and who I cared about
so much, So that was really complicated.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
When Wilhelmina said she was married, Balanjing pulled back.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
He stopped.
Speaker 5 (32:26):
He just like went, okay, yeah, I got up and left.
I got up and left.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
It was really it was not that big, but I
guess it was big, right.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
As sometimes those things are. They're like kind of both
at once.
Speaker 8 (32:42):
Yeah, that's an intense moment for him to try to
kiss you, because it was the moment which she almost
had the most power over you, because he wanted to
come back and he was going to decide whether you
did or not.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And in that meeting he leans in to kiss you.
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Which is like, are you going to get your job
back or not?
Speaker 5 (33:08):
But I mean I was. I had been, you know,
in a way refusing him. Always in retrospect.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
There had been that energy in the air throughout.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Yes, absolutely there was that energy. There was that energy.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
When you feel that energy, sometimes you can't always put
your finger on it, but you know it's there.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
That's exactly right.
Speaker 5 (33:36):
It was a complicated moment, very complicated moment emotionally. It
never came up again till the hospital Roosevelt Hospital, December
nineteen eighty two, when Balanchine was seventy eight years old,
Wilhelmina was twenty six. She visited him to ask about
her role in Balanchine's Nutcracker. She had requested to play
(33:59):
the role of the mother of the main character. It
wasn't a fancy part, but she'd been thinking about motherhood lately.
Of course, Balanchine didn't like his dancers to have kids,
Like a lot of dancers in the company. She'd had
several abortions.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
And I wanted to have children.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
I was getting older, and there was this one moment
in particular she couldn't wait to perform. It's a simple moment.
It doesn't exist in other versions of the ballet, just
in Balanchines.
Speaker 5 (34:27):
There's this incredible piece of music. It's a violin solo,
and all it is is the mother with a candle
walking across in the front of the stage looking for.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Marie, looking for her daughter.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
She's looking for her because she's not in her bed.
She's fallen asleep by the Christmas tree with her nutcracker,
which her mother wouldn't let her take to bed. So
the scrim is down. In this violin solo happens. You
walk across and you're looking, looking, looking, and this scrim goes.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Up and Marie is there.
Speaker 5 (35:07):
She's fallen asleep, and then all you do is cover
her up, and it's just a really beautiful moment that
Balanchine added to the story.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Valancine told her that as the mother in this ballet,
she was the ground dome of the house. She had
to be elegant. He showed her how the men should
kiss her hand. He directed her to get the bottle
of Slivovitz and join him on the bed, and Wilhelmina
began her dance with Balanchine, the strangest ballet she'd ever danced.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
And we drank.
Speaker 5 (35:45):
We drank it out of hospital glasses. There were real
glasses at the time. We talked about all kinds of
things while we were drinking. We talked about the theater.
We were laughing. He had this calendar with Christy Brinkley
on it, know pin up calendar of hers. He said, dear,
come under the covers. So I got under the covers.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
He put one arm around her.
Speaker 5 (36:10):
Women were his whole life. Women were his inspiration. So
to have one of your women come in and be
with you in a way, it's like that's the It
was always the conquest for him to always enjoy women,
including physically.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
It's funny.
Speaker 5 (36:32):
In the hospital, it didn't bother me because I felt
almost like how you know, when you're really sick, you're
like a mother, almost like you get into bed to
hold the person and comfort them. I felt like that.
I didn't feel grossed out by it. I felt sad
(36:54):
for him, and also I was very drunk. It must
have been a really hilarious looking vision of the two
of us in that hospital bed, like sitting under the
covers together drinking. But also how normal, you know what
I mean, what you would do with someone that you
love that's at the end of their life. You do
(37:17):
whatever it tanks to just have a good time with him.
And as long as that person was alive and functioning
that my life was kind of okay too.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
Half the bottle of Slivovitz was gone now.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
And he tried to open my shirt. He said, just
let me investigate a little.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Wilhelmina pretended to be in control to know what to do.
Part of her thought, after all of these years resisting,
maybe just let him.
Speaker 5 (37:51):
I said, ah, no, mister v come on, you know,
And he said, no, just a little, dear. So I
did let him open my shirt and he didn't get
very far.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Then he tried to kiss her. She held her lips shut.
Wilhelmina would write about this moment later, with some distance.
She wrote about how Balancine was like a father to her.
He was to many. She wrote, his hands are there,
but fathers don't do this. And because I love this
(38:21):
father so much, and because I hate him for not
loving me enough to not do this, I push him
away and step off the bed.
Speaker 5 (38:31):
I stumbled out of the hospital with the rest of
the bottle in my hand.
Speaker 3 (38:38):
Into a cab like what.
Speaker 5 (38:45):
Three four five six and one two three.
Speaker 3 (38:51):
Four five six and one. Choose you have to stay,
just stay.
Speaker 6 (38:58):
Yeah you guys.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Forty years later, she doesn't perform ballet anymore. Instead, she teaches, yeah, guys, trying.
Speaker 6 (39:07):
To make this one had that emotional.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Piece to it, right.
Speaker 5 (39:12):
I think the way that Elle put it. Field of
music through your body, field of music through your body
and your face.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
She's the artistic director of a ballet school in California,
the Stapleton School of the Performing Arts.
Speaker 5 (39:27):
And yeah, breath, look at that flow of.
Speaker 3 (39:31):
Feud at all?
Speaker 6 (39:32):
Then ah.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
This week she's teaching a special workshop for her teenage students.
It's all about balancing, but she doesn't tell them this
hospital story. Instead, she tells them about how to open
their arabesques by pulling one shoulder back the way mister
b tatter to. She tells them what it was like
to dance for mister.
Speaker 5 (39:54):
B mister brownche was very involved in our indivi visuality.
Speaker 3 (40:01):
He took a lot of time to understand who you are.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
She teaches them the choreography he.
Speaker 5 (40:08):
Goes almost ready to perform.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
And how to move their feet.
Speaker 3 (40:14):
Little feet, and those boys keep up little.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
And she shows these students why she loves balancing.
Speaker 5 (40:20):
She had the same growth in the music again, write
in the new success swell here and you have to
swell within yourself.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
Most of all, she talks about his artistry, but made
balancing great.
Speaker 6 (40:33):
Yeah, wow, all the way to the end.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
You're so quiet.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
She's one of many dancers who do this, former ballerinas
who passed down his repertoire all around the world, like
priestesses with sacred knowledge. They need to pass on, afraid
that the nuances of his art will be lost.
Speaker 5 (41:11):
There are not very many of us left around that
actually grew up with balancing. We are a dying breed
and we know it. I realized that it was like
I grew up with Mozart.
Speaker 8 (41:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I came across this one quote I can't stop thinking about.
It's from Vera Zorina, one of Balanging's wives. Like all
of his wives. She was a ballerina who danced for him.
She wrote quote. He would speak of the suffering faces
of dancers, comparing them to saints. He meant spiritual suffering.
(41:52):
To George, dancers were saints because they worked harder and longer,
were obedient, never talked back, were always paid the least,
and then went on stage and danced like angels. To me,
this sums up how Balangin wanted the women in his
company to be Balangine's. Dancers would change their bodies for him,
(42:14):
some through extreme dieting, drugs, or surgery. Some would have
abortions or avoid romantic relationships to focus on the job.
Some would fall in love with Balancine, and decades after
Balangin died, ballerinas are still dancing for him, still seeking
his approval. Coming up on The Turning.
Speaker 7 (43:05):
I'm serving something larger than myself. If it's not God,
than the art form or Balancine. For me, it felt
like it's like Balancine's ghosts or something.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
The Turning is a production of Rococo Punch and iHeart Podcasts.
It's written and produced by Alan Lance Lesser and me.
Our story editor is Emily Foreman. Mixing and sound designed
by James Trout. Jessica Krisa is our assistant producer. Andrea
Assuage is our digital producer. Fact checking by Andrea Lopez
(43:45):
Crusado Special thanks to Kate Osborne and Natalie Jones. Our
executive producers are John Parratti and Jessica Alpert at Rococo
Punch at Katrina Norbel and Nikki Etour at iHeart Podcasts.
For photos and more details on the series, follow us
(44:06):
on Instagram at Rococo Punch, and you can reach out
via email The Turning at Rococo Punch dot com. I'm
Erica Lance. Thanks for listening.
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