The Hum of Rage: Healing Through Gullah Igala Roots and Self-Discovery with Lori Johnson

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh hey, welcome back to another episode of The Unwanted Sorority.
I'm your host, Leatra. This is a space created for
and by Black women, fems, and gender expanse of folks
who've experienced sexual violence.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Whether you've lived.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
It, loves one who has, or simply want to hold space,
you're welcome here.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
On this week's.

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Episode, we're giving flowers to the one and only I
to b Wells Barnett. If you don't know her story,
I am super excited to be able to.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Share it with you.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
And we're also going to hear from a role called
guest who is just incredible. We're going to hear from
Laurie Johnson. You'll hear me refer to her as Sister
LJ throughout the interview, but she's going to tell us
her story about being attacked by a serial rapist, and

(00:53):
you'll also get a chance to get some context for
why she said this.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
And a community is only as good as the way
they treat their women.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
The Unwanted Sororities a space for community connection and care,
but it's not a substitute for professional mental health, medical
or legal support. If anything you hear today resonates in
a way that feels heavy, I encourage you to reach
out to someone you trust or a licensed clinician. You
deserve to feel well, you deserve to feel whole, and

(01:21):
you deserve to be supported. In this episode, we are
going to go all the way back to Mississippi eighteen
sixty two. The Civil War is raging and slavery is

(01:43):
still the law of the land, and a little baby
girl is going to be born into bondage. Her name
i w els. Ida was free at just three years old,
but her early life was shaped by loss. Both of
her parents died from yellow fever when she was only
sixteen years old, leaving her to raise herself and her siblings.

(02:07):
That's the beginning of a pattern that we would see
throughout her life, Ida stepping up and stepping in when
no one else would. By her early twenties, she was
already making waves. In eighteen eighty four, long before out
Founder from our last episode would do something similar. Ida
refused to give up her seat in a first class

(02:28):
car train she was dragged off. She sued the railroad,
and she even won her case until it was overturned
on appeal. But what some may have seen as defeat
became kind of an ignition point for Ida. She realized
that the system wasn't built to protect her, so she'd
have to protect herself and her community using her words.

(02:53):
Fast forward to eighteen ninety two and Ida was living
in Mississippi, where she was co owning and editing theis
Free Speech newspaper. Her world would be turned upside down
when her friend Thomas Moss, a respected black store owner,
was lynched alongside with two other men. Their only crime

(03:14):
was being seen as competition by a local white business owner.
Ida would later write, quote, this is what opened my
eyes to what lynching really was an excuse to get
rid of negroes who were acquiring wealth and property, to
keep the race terrorized. By calling out what she referred

(03:36):
to as a threadbare lie that lynchings were about protecting
white women from black men, she said the truth out loud,
that many of these accusations were false, that sometimes these
were consensual interracial relationships, and that meanwhile, black women were
being routinely raped by white men with no protection under

(03:59):
the law. And let's be clear, this was a very
dangerous stance.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
That she was taking.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Her words enraged white moms. They stormed her newspaper office
destroyed her printing press and threatened to kill her if
she ever came back to Memphis.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
So she fled, but she didn't stop.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
In exile, Ida kept writing. She would become one of
the first investigative journalists in American history. She gathered data,
case studies, and testimonies and exposed the truth about lynching
in pamphlets like Southern Horrors Lynch Law in All its
Phases that came out in eighteen ninety two, as well

(04:42):
as The Red Record, which was published in eighteen ninety five.
She showed that less than a third of lynching victims
were even accused of rape. Most were targeted for their
economic success or simply existing as free black people in
white supremacists America. She flipped the script by saying, quote,

(05:03):
the Negro has suffered far more from the commission of
this crime against the women of his race by white
men than the white race ever has. Now that survivor
centered journalism more than a century before we would even
have the language for it. Now Here's why Ida b
Wells Barnett so deeply matters to this movement of the

(05:28):
unwonted sorority. She wasn't just documenting violence. She was demanding accountability,
very loudly and very publicly. She was pivotal in a
highlighting sexual violence as not just an individual crime, but
as a systemic weapon of white supremacy. And she didn't

(05:49):
stop with journalism. Ida co founded the NAACP in nineteen
oh nine. She marched with suffragis even though she had
to fight racism even in that movement, and she mentored
black club women who carried her fight forward. Ida was
planting all these seeds for generations of activists, journalists, and

(06:11):
survivors who would later demand their voices be heard also.
And that's actually why she's connected to today's role called guests.
So I can't wait for you to hear from her.
So today we are giving flowers to Ida b Wells
Barnett for her refusal to be silent, for her courage
to tell the truth when it could have cost her life,

(06:34):
and for showing us that journalism can be activism, and
that naming sexual violence, even when society doesn't want to
hear it, is a revolutionary act.

Speaker 3 (06:45):
And that is on.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Display today and all that we're seeing happening in this
country and on a global sense, journalists must maintain that
element of activism within their work. Her words from The
Red Record and Southern Horrors remind us that black women
have always been at the forefront of naming and resisting

(07:07):
sexual violence. Ida laid the groundwork so that podcast like
this one and movements like Cashtag Me Too and Survivor
spaces around the globe could exist. So I'm thrilled to

(07:28):
introduce you to our role called guest.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
Today.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
I refer to her as Sister LJ, but you all
will get a chance to hear from Laurie Johnson. She
is a radio host and a journalist in her own respect,
and so I cannot wait for you to hear her
words and her story because they were so powerful and

(07:54):
so moving to me. So without further ado, let's get
into it. So I'd like to just give you a
chance to introduce yourself. I know a little bit about you.
We've talked a little bit before this, But who's sister ALJ.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Laurie Johnson. That's what LJ stands for. Is my birth name.
My mom gave it to me back in Brooklyn, New York,
Crown Heights when I was born in nineteen sixty two,
and I always like to tell people I was born
in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn and King's County Hospital,
surrounded by all that royalty, because I feel like my

(08:28):
mom was. I have been living in the South now,
which was a turning point for me. I've been living
in the South now for about forty three years. I
really love the South. I've always loved the South as
a little girl. Coming here shaped a lot of my
adult life now because of the profound history here in

(08:52):
the South. I was able to get into radio while
I lived here in the South, and I have been
in radio now for about twenty three years. I have
three adult children, a forty two year old, a forty
year old, and a thirty eight year old. And I
have five grandchildren that keep me on my toes, but
you know, dealing with their teenage things. And you know,

(09:14):
one is only is almost a year old, the littlest
one is almost a year old, and the oldest is fourteen.
So you can imagine the range between there almost about
two years apart exactly. So it's been quite a journey
here living in the South, dealing with the intricacies of
the South and just fitting in, you know, as a woman,

(09:38):
especially an African woman, and so I'm really enjoying what
is unfolding in my life now, So you know you
can that's pretty general, but feel free to ask any
details if you'd like anymore, need to expand on anything
in particular.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, I'm just curious, is what do you You said
you're excited about what's you know, expanding in your life?
Do you care to share more about some of those
amazing things that are happening.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, I'm a person I like to really go to
the root of things. And when I when I look
at the root of my life and how I was
formed in my family womb, in terms of my mom
in particular, I realized that now that may have come
from a place of shame. My mother doesn't mind me
telling a story that she got pregnant for me with

(10:32):
a married man, and she was married too, but her
and her husband they weren't together. So a lot of
the ways that I feel I am now sometimes can
be rooted in that womb of shame. And I talked
to my mother about it because I know that, you know,
it was something she was proud of. But you know,
things happen, and so I was raised thinking my brother's

(10:55):
father was my father, and I grew up thinking that
until around the age of thirteen. So a lot of
the environment kind of was a little bit rocky. My
mom had, you know, different situations with different men, and
you know, it was always very chaotic, if I could
put it like that. I watched her fight some boyfriends

(11:18):
and things like that. So you know, as a young person,
you know, seeing these types of things, it kind of
shapes who you become and the path that you take
sometimes to Sometimes you can be strong enough maybe not
to follow the same path, but at the same time,
there are certain things that you might be longing for
and looking for, and when you go through your life journey,

(11:39):
it could be because of the things you saw, you know,
especially with the people who are responsible for shaping your life,
and of course a mother and a father is so
I never saw stability in my home, and so that
created a bit of a chaotic situation, I think for
me in terms of what I began to look for
in boyfriends and then husbands and things like that. So

(12:00):
that's what I say now, it kind of shaped me
to who I am now. And another thing I can
touch on is the religious environment. What type of spirituality
that is you're surrounded by when you are grown up.
So if you are raised in a Christian home, you're
more likely going to be Christian. You're gonna be ski
steered toward going to church, or if you're raised in

(12:23):
a Muslim home, you're going to be steered toward you know,
doing that, those types of disciplines and going to mosque.
So I was raised Jehovah's Witness. Oh my mom, that's
probably like a whole definition in and of itself, but
my mom never really you know, grabbed onto that. She

(12:44):
never really embraced that, but she wanted me and my
brother to have some sort of religious shaping and environment.
And so I say that because those things, the chaotic
nature of watching my mother and her relationships with men,
and also my religious environment, which because of that organization,

(13:07):
was really really strict. They wanted to keep track of
what you read, and you couldn't you couldn't read things
outside of what they printed, and you know, you were
always required to go to the Kingdom Hall and you
had to go out of field service and knock on
the door and tell other people about your beliefs and
stuff like that. So I just battled with not being myself.

(13:29):
I always loved school. I loved going to school, especially
in the fifth grade. I don't remember anything else but
the fifth grade because I had such a cool teacher
in the fifth grade, and I can call him right now.
He's eighty years old, and I love and cherish that relationship.
So my mom was a school teacher also. Yeah, that's
a story all in itself. So it was these types
of things roller coasters, I could call them roller coaster

(13:52):
rides in my life that you know, just really, I
now know that I have been able to take control
of my my own life. Back in two thousand and one,
I had a very supernatural experience, which I know that
was the turning point for me to really embrace my
own spirituality and to go on my own walk as

(14:12):
it relates to how I see God. And so that
in and of itself, and understanding now who I am
and understanding you know, my origin, tracing it back to
my ancestrals in Nigeria. Now I understand why those particular

(14:34):
religious disciplines didn't really ring true to me all the way.
And so now I am more embracing of my sacred
sciences of Africa, and you know, even the other indigenous
cultures I found out as Native American is in there
as well. So that's a lot.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
I know it is, but I appreciate you kind of
breaking all that down and bringing all that to the
conver because, as you talk about, it, shapes us our
religious influences, our familial influences are parenting, our spirituality or
religious influences. All of that shapes and shifts how we

(15:16):
navigate life, and especially what we're exposed to in our childhood.

Speaker 3 (15:21):
So I appreciate you bringing that up.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
And you talked about how much the South has influenced
you and been a part of your life. Can you
talk a little bit about what healing has looked like
for you as a black woman in the South, and
what like survival has looked like for you in that context,
And do you think that there was any cultural or

(15:46):
generational things that you had to contend with as a
black woman in the South navigating your healing, navigating your
survival story.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
That's interesting staying that's a great question, And the first
thought that came to my mind as you were explaining
that was trauma. Trauma is a very real reality based
here in the South. As we look at the ancestral
history of people who were forcibly brought here from from Africa,

(16:20):
kidnapped and brought here against their will and enslaved on
different plantations. Many of my family members, which probably most
of my family members, were enslaved on plantations here. So
I have that genetic memory of the horror of the
of that. And and it's interesting because that genetic memory,

(16:42):
as I like to call it, came up as I
was even faced with trauma in my own life. And
the trauma that I was faced with began with molestation
by a family member, a very close family member of
first cousin, and then it at age twenty two, it
was a serial rapist too broke into my home, and

(17:05):
then further along, maybe a few years later, it was
an acquaintance, someone that I trusted and looked at as
a brother and never imagined that he would have forced
himself on me that way. When I speak of myself,
sometimes I was talk in general, but then you asked
me specifically for me, so I'll make it personal, more personal.
But to me, it was like a celebration of knowing

(17:28):
that I was able to find the way to heal.
As my ancestors were faced with those types of situations
and how they were able to heal and come through
it so that I'm here, So I stand on their
shoulders because if they didn't endure that, I wouldn't be here.

(17:50):
So that in and of itself made me even more
committed to you know, well, like almost like if in
the circumstances in which they lived and if they could
do it, so can I. You know. So that's kind
of like what's shaped and what came to my mind.

(18:11):
I hope that kind of answered the question. But that's
really all a part of that healing and when we
are honest with ourselves about the healing that needs to
take place in the grace that we should give other
people in these spaces, Like you know, I look at
relationships family. There's no question in my mind is the

(18:32):
most important thing to a community, your family structure, the
value you place on people in your family, and when
you give people grace and understand and empathy and compassion
and know that we probably didn't get the chance to heal,
and we carry generationally, we carry these things within ourselves,

(18:53):
even sometimes unknowingly, we still have the weight of the
generations of traumata. You know that happened before us. And
so that's why I really appreciate the fact that I
can sometimes step back and have compassion with others.

Speaker 1 (19:10):
That's a really powerful sentiment. Your commitment to your healing
is you honoring get the generations before you who didn't
have the space to heal. So when you are able
to give yourself that that time and put that energy
into healing yourself, you're you're kind of honoring what they

(19:31):
didn't have the luxury.

Speaker 3 (19:32):
As you say, to do. And that's a.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Really beautiful in a generational cultural sentiment to you know,
commit to yourself what our for our mothers couldn't do.
And so it's almost kind of like a responsibility, isn't
there to tell your story into As you said, you're
you're standing on the shoulders of giants who you know didn't.

Speaker 3 (19:57):
Have that space.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
I also, so you know, think about this too, and
you can let me know if you know this rings
true for you or not. But just in hearing you
talk about the responsibility or the you know, honoring of
our ancestors when we're you know, thinking about our healing
and focusing and prioritizing that, do you think there's any
truth to honoring our rage as well, honoring our opportunities

(20:26):
for conflict and giving ourselves that space to be upset
about wrongdoings that are done to us or harm that
is committed to or against us, because again, our ancestors
didn't have that opportunity. A lot of times they had
to just endure and door endure, and they didn't have

(20:47):
the space or the chance to be angry and call
out people who were committing harm against them.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Does that ring.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
True for you at all?

Speaker 2 (20:57):
Absolutely? There absolutely is us space for honoring that anger
as well. If we did not honor the anger, we
wouldn't be true to the ancestors either. The anger, the hostility,
the rage that everything that you can imagine coming up
is very valid. And it is in those moments because

(21:20):
of the rage that is very valid. I believe that
is what gives us even more the strength to rise
and to channel the energy of that rage in the
proper channels to be able to make a difference like this,

(21:44):
We cannot allow it to happen again. We cannot be
afraid to speak against it, nor can we be afraid
to show that anger. Because if we are afraid to
show that anger, I would think that It was almost
like in becase trail a betrayal. But of course we
cannot go around, you know, in that state of rage

(22:10):
by violently acting on it, lashing out at others. You know, Uh,
it's not productive. It wouldn't It wouldn't be if it
was consistent and constant, it wouldn't be productive in my opinion.

(22:31):
That's the way I feel about it now. Is it
is it valid? Is it necessary at times to show
when you have just reached the point of despair, because
we've seen it. We've seen it in moments like what
happened with George Floyd. We've seen it in moments of
Trayvon Martin. We've seen it in moments where people just

(22:54):
the Rodney King see I'm back in Rodney King. I
think I was stuck back there what happened Rodney King?
And we saw that in the rioting. So there is
a place for that kind of rage. But now once
it's done, once it's over with. I think it was
doctor King that says rage is the language of someone unheard,

(23:15):
who feels unheard something to that effect, the violence and
the acting out. He said that that was the language
or the activity of people who feel unheard. So now
I remember, and I'm gonna just just kind of segue
to my now very favorite movie, Sinners. I don't know

(23:35):
if anybody is seen that movie, but if you haven't
seen that movie, you can see that movie. So there
was a scene well with Delroy Lindo. They were in
the car and he was recounting the story of a
family member who was lynched, and you could feel the
rage about that and talking about that, recounting that and

(24:02):
reliving that. You could feel the rage rise up within him.
But instead he began to hum, and you could feel
that channeling that rage into something that would lift him

(24:24):
out of that. And it was a song, you know, music,
a song. I remember my grandmother used to hum a
lot too. You know, there's this there's a language and
a hum all in of itself. And so I believe
that's where we are now. I believe that that rage
has to turn into the hum of a podcast telling

(24:46):
the story. That rage has to turn into the hum
of a video and documentary that I want to do
so many documentaries. I believe that rage has to turn
into films that depict the little told stories, the little
known times, so that we don't repeat these things so

(25:08):
that we can get past these things, use those moments
to channel it into our creativity. You know, we have
lots of creativity. So many people are singing dancing Boots
on the Ground. I just think that is spiritual. I
tell you what. I'm absolutely proudly South Carolina young man.

(25:31):
You know, I've got to mention him, brother Fredick eight
o three fresh. You know, he's created a whole movement,
and I truly believe that movement has been birthed out
of out of even his own rage about himself and
the choices that he made when I was listening to
him tell his story on the Breakfast Club. So we've

(25:53):
got to be able to learn how to channel the
negativity when we want to lash out and when we
want to beat a hip hop and talk about the
streets and the dis and the Da Da dad, you know,
and and and the police brutality and the things that
he lived. Look at how he has taken that rage
about the things in his life and now created a

(26:16):
movement with that song, Boots on the Ground.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (26:24):
You better testify, sister al jol I love it.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
I think that you know, we it's such a cultural
experience that I think is unique to us as Black
people across the diaspora of converting our emotions and our
feelings and you know, channeling that into art. And you know,

(26:58):
not that that is exclusive to black people, but I
think feel like we do it in a very unique
way in this.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
American context here, and.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
So thinking about that, that really is like a such
a cultural almost ritual that we can trace, you know,
across time. I know you talk a lot and you're
very vocal about your experience of you know, a Black American,

(27:28):
but also your ties to the Gala and the Igala
cultural heritage. So I wonder if you know, in that
same vein, are there any hums that you can reference
to what that cultural heritage has been like for you
in relation to your experiences with survival, healing, community care.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
Yeah, thank you for bringing that up. Before I knew
Gullah was even a thing. As I said, my mother
was a school teacher, so we always came here for
the two months of the summer that school was out right,
So I can recall as a little girl, young you know,
young girl, I was very close to my grandmother who

(28:15):
was deeply, deeply Gulla, and I would love listening to her,
I thought she was royal, you know, because it was
just in her language, the way she spoke. She would
spend time in the field and she would grow watermelon,
sugar cane, okra corn. I remember running through the corn
fields as a little girl, snapbeans. I mean, she had

(28:38):
hogs chicken. You know. She was just to me a
phenomenal woman. And I loved sitting at her feet listening
to her talk because it was such a thick, rich language.
The Gala language is a thick rich language. They used
to call it broken English. Nothing broken about that. Doctor

(28:59):
Loree dal Turner wrote a whole book on the Galla
dialect and the power of that as a language. So
when I would be around my grandmother and I would
experience her, Like I said, before I even knew Galla
was a thing, it just made me understand that she
was there was something different about her to be respected

(29:23):
and to be looked up to because of her strength.
Her husband died on his way to work one morning
and left her a widow of four children. My mother
included my mom and her three brothers. They were all young,
my mother was only eight years old. He left to
go to work one morning at the Charleston Naval Shipyard
and never returned because he was in a car accident.

(29:46):
So my grandmother represented such a strength to me. And
as I grew older and began to make these connections
and to see how people would talk about the Galla
people and how special a Galla people were. There's another
historian named doctor leyol Africa who recently passed away. He
was from Charleston and he would write about the glor
people are blessed by God and the Gallor people were

(30:08):
a special group of people from West Africa. And now
finding out how important that they are to what is
happening today and the rise of I believe we as divine,
feminine women. The patriarchy has for so long kept us down,

(30:29):
kept us quiet. You know, we weren't even supposed to vote,
be seen. We were treated so not only are you
African or black? You know, a woman and you know
you still you're really still white or black was not
treated very well at all. So it's just it's just
amazing how we've come to really as Gala Iguala people

(30:52):
make those connections, you know, and I deal with a lot,
you know, I always talk about because it's you know,
when you have things that you're needing to work through,
you deal with your own family. If you're working in
your family, you know, you know, okay, the family down
the street, they might need help, but you're gonna first
deal with the people in your own household and really
focus on them first. So it's not that they that

(31:14):
other races, like you said earlier, you made that, you
said something about that too, But it's just that in
our culture traditionally, what has happened to us historically has
really made this even more so of a need for us.
And now what's even trying to be erased even now
today in twenty twenty five, look at what's happening now,

(31:36):
so holding on to the Gala Igala culture, making those connections,
being able to be a spokesperson for the Igala Kingdom,
I'm very proud of that to have been recognized by
the kingdom there in Nigeria, to be a spokesperson, and
not just to be you know, pat on the back
as the princess and the oma Anyete, but to be

(31:57):
the connector, the spokesperson who's keeping the traditions alive and
the strength of the resilience of the courage, the bravery
of that whole tradition, Gula Egolla and African tradition here
for us here in the diaspora to keep it because

(32:20):
we need to be strong. Strength and courage is now
very top of the top of the mind, and we
have to be We can't be afraid to be outspoken
in this time.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing that, and thank you
for sharing all of all of yourself that you shared
so far. You've shared some really powerful personal experiences that
you know are really you know, turning the wheels in
my brain of like just how important, like you said,
it is, to be vocal and double and triple down

(32:57):
on being vocally committed to uplifting our communities and being
present and ensuring that our rich history is not erased
and that it is continued to be passed on so
that it is not forgotten either, because I think there

(33:18):
is a full effort for us to forget our history
and forget the power that comes from our lineage and
our stories. Are there any like stories or values that
have particularly rung true as you've continued to learn more

(33:39):
and explore more over the years about the Gala Egoa
history that have shaped how you hold space for other survivors.
And we're going to kind of transition into some of
your work next in like your board work, and you know,
uplifting and supporting other sexual violence survivors. But are there

(34:00):
any like stories or values that are specific to the
culture of the gulah Igola that have helped you approach
your work differently?

Speaker 2 (34:14):
Yeah, there's so many things, you know, and I'm trying
to pinpoint one. And when you say uplifting values, there
there is a philosophy known as mat m a apostrophe
at for so very long we had been conditioned to
believe that we did not contribute anything of value to civilization,

(34:39):
whether we talk about America or worldwide. But the tradition
and the value and the philosophy of matt is a
social and an ethical value system that governs, that lays
the foundation for governing for morality. And there are also
there are also known as the forty three Negative Confession.

(35:01):
Forty three negative confessions of which the Tank Commandments was
pretty much plagiarized from That's a whole nother story. But
a lot of plagiarizing has gone on, you know, And
when we think of the origin, a lot of times
when people tell the story of Africans in America. They
start with slavery, but I wanted to I wanted to

(35:25):
find out what interrupted us, what happened before slavery, because
slavery was an interruption, because we were a very proud people,
are very strong people that was living our lives, you know,
independent of European influence for so very long or any
other influence. You know, even the indigenous people. There's a

(35:49):
book called they Came Before Columbus, So it's not even
limited to people being brought from Africa. We were traveling
world way before Columbus even thought about quote unquote discs
covering any America because he didn't discover a place where
people had already been living. So in in embracing all
of that and the philosophy of ma A, it's a

(36:11):
whole value system that really from the root from the
Nole Valley civilization, of which the Igala people also claim
to have migrated from. The Nole Valley civilization has a
wealth of foundational when you learn when you want to

(36:34):
learn about the history of a people, in the foundation
of a people, the Now Valley is a very good
place to start as it relates to the economy. The
Nile River itself was a powerful powerhouse for transporting, you know,
in terms of gold and elephants. There's the whole barge

(36:55):
system came from the now Valley Civilization. Brother Tony Browner
is a great history and he wrote a book called
The Nole Valley Contribution to Civilization, and and I recommend
that book to anyone who wants to find out the foundations.
Civilizations come, civilizations go, they rise, civilizations rise, and civilizations fall.

(37:16):
But the technologies and the things that we're seeing today,
they're like, that's like, oh, y'all just catching up. The
very first ancestor, Lucy, was found in Africa, you know.
So it's just it's just an amazing testament of all
of those things being put together and going as far

(37:37):
back as you can to begin the beginning, as far
back as we can allow ourselves to even to even
imagine and know that these things are not just figments
of our imagination but realities that actually existed. And that's
the reason why we're here today.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Yeah, And so I'm listening to you and talking about
power centers. There's power in our presence, right, and so
speaking to our existence and speaking to.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
You know that.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
Ancestral plane that you're talking about that kind of keeps
us connected all across these millions of years. And so,
like I said, wanted to kind of transition into talking
about the power of.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
Your presence, specifically because.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
You are the only black woman and the only person
of color on the board that you currently sit on,
which is focused on sexual violence or support for sexual
violence survivors and domestic abuse survivors.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
So, why is it.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Important for organizations to continue to have people of diverse experiences,
people who are reflect of the diversity of their communities.
Why is it important and why, you know, how do
you experience the power that you hold in the position

(39:10):
that you're in.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Yes, Historically, African descendent people in particular have been conditioned
to believe that we don't experience pain the same way
that others do. And I'm thinking in particular of the

(39:35):
Tuskegee experiment, when the men were just allowed to languish
and suffer in the condition that they were in before
they were really treated properly, just to experimentally see how
they would handle that well. In the same way women
were experimented on by quote unquote white gynecologists and so

(40:01):
it was also thought that African women they weren't rapable,
you know, because of this over you know, sexualized illusion.
You know that it wasn't experienced the same way as
others experienced it. Oh they can they're strong, they can

(40:25):
handle that, you know, they you know, they just don't
feel the same. Well, we weren't even thought of as human.
So that doesn't really surprise me because we were not
even considered human beings. So that's where that the humanizing
as the even the greater debilitating thing that happens during

(40:50):
those times when you're experiencing and hearing the experience the
same experience of someone who has experienced similar you know,
sometimes you know it's like we're supposed to, oh, just
get over it, you know, we're we're told to forget

(41:10):
about it. Well, the Tuskegee experiment wasn't that very long ago.
We know so many there's just many many instances where
we can point to of injustices during the civil rights
time where you know, it's just so many things to

(41:31):
go on and on about. But I really believe it's
important to be able to be in those spaces so
that I can be the voice to speak up about it.
That you know, the dynamics in a black home may
not be quite the same dynamic in a white person's
home when there's you know, family incests that takes place.

(41:54):
You know, it's just a so we really it's a
delicate top. It's it's it can be, but it has
to be faced, you know. And so I'm grateful that
the experiences of black women in the community who may
not come forward and why they don't come forward. We

(42:14):
know there's a very high profile case being happening right
now in terms of sexual violence and domestic violence and
physical assault and things like that, and people are wanting
to dismiss it, like, well, why didn't she do anything sooner?
And so we're it's almost like it's it's so often
you know, put in our faces like you know what

(42:37):
we wanted that, you know, and that you know, what
did you do? You know, if you were a woman,
you surely you must have done something to attract that
maybe your dress was too short, maybe you shouldn't have
been drinking too much, or if you didn't go down it,
you know, always placing the blame, you know, on a woman,
and you know this is probably both white and black,

(43:00):
you know, so there's there's got to be as important
for those the diversity to be in those spaces so
that you can hear hear the experience from from from
every angle, Yeah, I think is very important.

Speaker 3 (43:17):
Yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
So that you can understand it when you are faced
with it, or when someone is telling you their story,
you can understand it and not just dismiss it because
it doesn't match what you have read in a book
or what you had been taught in schools, because you know,
it may not cover all of the cultural nuance of

(43:40):
some of these experiences or some of the ancestral like
you say, which I love that you use that term
so much, and the ancestral connection because that really is
so true to what we're what we're talking about. But yeah,
diversity in terms of who makes up the leadership of

(44:01):
these organizations, it so intimately influences what the services actually
look like that are being put out and you know,
who is feeling comfortable or safe to come and utilize
those services. So when you're not seeing that diversity being reflected,

(44:21):
you know, sometimes it may impact someone in a negative
way where maybe they've had a prior experience and they
assume that they won't get good care from an organization
if they don't see themselves represented. So something that you've
also talked about is how trauma can linger for decades.
I'm wondering if you can talk a little bit, if

(44:42):
you feel comfortable talking a little bit about how you've
cared for yourself emotionally and spiritually after all these years,
with the experiences that you've shared.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
With us, Okay, personally, I have been able to identify
the things that speak to me my spirit, and I
think it comes from a deep place like a I'm
a water person. I love bodies of water. I love
the beach, whatever, if it's waterfalls, if it's a lake,
if it's a river, the calm of water. I'm aquarius, Aquarius,

(45:17):
I'm a Pisces, and I'm the same one, right yeah,
And so that that calms me, you know, being able
to What has really been beneficial for me is to
just know that, you know, because being most being a
single parent parent for most of the time I was
raising my children. You know, you always it's always hard

(45:40):
to get to that space where you feel that you're
not cheating somebody because you're taking time for yourself and
self care is so important, you know, because we as
women are are are normally naturally nurturing, so we always
feel that we have to be there to catch someone
when they fall. And so when I was raising my children,

(46:02):
you know, I knew that there was a space that
I had to create for the time that I was
raising my children to just say, you know what it's
going to be about my children right now, and maybe
some of the things that I might want to see
happen in my life, I might have to put those
things on the back burner. And maybe I didn't have

(46:24):
to put them on the back burner, But at that time,
you know, and I'm speaking specifically about going to college
because it just me I could see women now juggling
it because you know, so many advents to helping it
to be maybe a possibility have come about, like the
Internet and being able to do online courses. But at
the time when I was, you know, trying to go

(46:45):
to college, you know, I had to physically show up
be there. So now that's childcare. You know, it's not
always convenient. You know, somebody's sick, you know, somebody's got
doctor appointment, things like that, so you can't always So
I laughed. Sometimes I say I'm a college drop, but
I'm not. I don't you know. I realized too that
I would make the same sacrifices all over again that

(47:06):
I did for my children then. And so I think
now when I am caring for myself, I make it
a point not to not to feel that I have
to apologize for needing space and needing time to myself.
I don't you know, there was a time when I
was feeling guilty that, oh my god, I should be
doing something, you know, when I'm in bed, you know,

(47:28):
or I'm on the beach, you know, or I'm sitting
somewhere in nature, I'm walking through a trail somewhere, and
I would feel, you know, like, you know, guilty because
I feel like I should have been doing something else.
But no more, I'm at a place now where I'm
really comfortable with saying, you know, I'm gonna do this
for myself. I don't. I'm not really feeling like showing up,

(47:49):
as we say today, and so I don't want to.
And now that I've retired, I feel I have the
luxury even more so, you know, because I'm not clocking
in and clocking out, you know. But when you have
that pressure to always show up and be there. And
you got to be it be somewhere because you know
you have to. You have a job jo b you know,
barking clock out. But now I find myself taking more

(48:13):
time to just be with myself, to think about what
it is I'm thinking about, and to be really clear that.
You know, if I'm feeling down, I ask myself why,
what just what happened that shifted your energy and made
you feel different? You know? So I feel that I
give myself the luxury of instead of running over that

(48:36):
of just stopping and asking what's going on? I like
talking to myself. I talk to myself a lot, and
you know, I guess you know, sometimes you are I'm
my best friend at this point. I wasn't always my
best friend, but now I am really my best friend
at this point. So thank you for saying that. Yeah

(48:57):
that's true.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
Yeah no and aids deeply.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
And I think, just like we were talking about earlier,
you know, honoring your ancestors by by taking care of
yourself and you know, making sure that you are healed
in whatever ways you need if you aren't in a
space where you feel like you can do it for yourself,
where it feels too selfish or there's shame around. I

(49:21):
should be doing all these other things, or I should
be taking care of all these other people. If you can't,
you know, wrap your head around. Okay, I'm taking this
time for myself. Do it for your best friend who
is also yourself. Right, treat it as treated as that
way of you know, your your How would you talk
to your best friend about taking care of yourself and
then you know, treat yourself as if you are also

(49:43):
your best friend.

Speaker 3 (49:44):
So that's a really that's a really powerful sentiment, you.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Know something when you when you said that, just that
I thought about negative self talk. Sometimes we can really
be our own worst critics. And you know I have
friends now that you know I hear them, Oh well,
I'm not like you. And you know, I want us
to really be able to come out of talking and
comparing ourselves with other people. You know, that's a freedom

(50:09):
when you can get free of other people and what
other people think of you and how they feel about you.
Because now I'm really so free of people, and you know,
getting free of people and their thoughts. You know, it's
just it's like I can't even describe it. So I don't.
I try to tell people, please don't look at me,
because it took me a long time to get here,

(50:29):
you know, so don't say, well, I'm not like you.
You know, you can, you know, really put into words
what you're trying to say. Well, you've got a superpower too,
just because I might be able to talk, because I've
been talking about a long time. I like radio and
I like to talk on the radio, and so I've
been talking a long time, but I didn't always get here.
You know. That's you know, let's come out of really

(50:50):
comparing ourselves with other with you know, just don't compare
yourself because you may be the most prolific writer there is,
maybe it's for you to put your thoughts on paper
right in journal. So I encourage women to journal, you know,
and things like that, you know, when you're going through
I wrote a book called In Defense of Dinah, coming
Out of the Shadow of Shame, And in that book,

(51:12):
you know, people kept telling me, because of the experiences
that I had with all forms of sexual assault, that
I should write a book. But really the book is
was my journaling my feelings about what I had been
going through, what I had gone through, not being able
to verbalize it at nine years old, being molested. I
wasn't able to verbalize that particular time in my life

(51:36):
because at the time it was in family and sometimes
in those dynamics, you can be thinking, because you're young,
that you got a crush on him. And I was
a cousin that was cute, and I thought I had
a crush on him, But I didn't realize that he
was molesting me. You know, I'm not able to put
wrap my mind around this isn't supposed to be going on,

(51:57):
you know, and so and then you know, so it's
just certain things when you when you just free yourself
about what people think, and you know, so I was like,
for a long time, I didn't want to tell that
story because you know, oh my god, you thought he
was cute, you liked him, you know, and but but
there when he really took it that far to actually,

(52:21):
you know, rape me, I knew then, you know, this
is past kissing and you touching. This is like you know,
this ain't right, you know, so anyway, but I never
I don't believe that I was able to talk about that,
and it and it lingered for a long time for

(52:42):
many years. I think probably up until the time that
the stranger broke into my house at when I was
at age twenty two, And that was then when I
really realized that I needed to get I needed some
tools to help me to really make all of this stuff,
you know, put put put some healing in place for myself. So,

(53:05):
you know, the same organization that I'm on the board now,
you know, they were there and they helped me to
get the tools. And so I was able to bring
in the unresolved issue of not dealing with the molestation
at nine and all of the thoughts that came with that,
and the incorrect belief systems that came with that. It

(53:27):
was I was able to now get the proper tools
to help me sort through that. And so that's what
I encourage people just, you know, write I think I
brought all that up to say to write, don't compare
yourself with other people if there's something unresolved within you
that maybe you've never you know, because you know, I

(53:49):
talked to a lot of women and they'll tell me,
you know, Laurie, the same thing. After me. I never
said anything to anybody. So there's a lot of women
and young girls walking around with this and they don't
know how to put words to it. You know, they're
caught up in situations where they don't know how to
get out of it. And that's more. That is more

(54:09):
than then we really realize. And you know, I just
feel like as a society, as a as a as
a you know, as a people, we probably need to
get more courage to really look at those things and

(54:30):
really take them apart and really be honest with ourselves
and to not ignore the things that we have swept
under the rug. Because in my day, you know, my
mother she even went through one and she doesn't even
like to talk about it. And so, you know, an
assault that she doesn't like to talk about, and she

(54:52):
she's eighty eight years old. So we have to really
not keep perpetuating the same thing, you know, or our daughters,
our granddaughters, you know, we got to let them know
immediately any inappropriateness that takes place to be able to
come and find a safe place and talk about it.

Speaker 3 (55:14):
Yeah, I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
And so I have two last questions for you, and
you kind of cueued it up really nicely. The first
is you were talking about shame, and you know the
impact of that and you know why some people may
not come forward because of shame, or maybe they don't
come forward or don't talk about their experience or seek
out help or assistance because they don't even know themselves.

(55:41):
Like you were saying, if you have this experience in childhood,
you may not even understand what is happening, so let
alone being able to articulate it to someone else and
ask for help. But for some people, it is shame.
It's shame for what they've experienced, or it's some internalized
guilt that they're placing on themselves for the circumstance that happened.

(56:02):
And so this show is really all about, you know,
trying to create a community where we're letting go of
any shame around the harm that's been committed against us
or to us, and in that we're trying to build
that community. So what has community looked like for you
in your healing? I know, you know, being on the

(56:24):
board and of the organization that was there for you
and you know allowed you to develop this toolkit that
you talked about that I'm certain or I imagine has
played a big role. But what else has community looked
like for you around this.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
For a very long time after the assault, when I
was twenty two. In my romantic relationships, I would tell
the story of what happened to me early, like if
I was if I started dating somebody, I would tell
them what happened, and I would I would gauged their

(57:01):
response by whether or not they were worthy if I
can put it of any more of my time, and
if they dealt with it in a compassionate manner, then
I said, Okay, he might have a little potential. But
if they were uncomfortable with it and wanted to change
the subject and you know, or even say something stupid,

(57:25):
you know, like you know, my husband at the time said, oh,
he probably nobody listened to you screaming because they just
probably felt like I was going upside your head. Again.
I was married at the time when the stranger broke
into my house and bring a little contact to that,
so I knew I was trapped in a domestic violence,

(57:45):
violent situation. And then the rape occurred, and that made
me leave that situation once and for all. And so
because of that experience with him and saying that, really,
you know, dumbnes he was already experienced. He was already
displaying violence toward me before that happened, but I just

(58:07):
felt trapped and I didn't know how to get out,
and so when it did happen, I of course immediately
was able to get out of that. So that's why
I think after that, I, as I described, I would
judge anybody that came into my life based on their compassion.
I never wanted to be involved with anybody as sensitive

(58:29):
as him ever again. And so you know, when when
when men in my life, you know, would come in
and come and go, that would be the biggest determining
factor how they responded to those situations that happened to me,
both as a as a child and as a twenty
two year old. And so so people and their energy,

(58:54):
finding community with people and their energy and knowing that,
you know, I only like to be around people who
have the ability to show empathy and compassion towards others.
And if a person has no patience, you know, they
just feel like, oh, well, you ain't the only person

(59:16):
that's been raped. You know, somebody said that to me.
Once you know, I immediately I have no I have
absolutely no tolerance for people like that, because I feel
like you are in some type of pain yourself. If
you have that kind of a sharpness where you have
no compassion, you have no empathy, then there's something that

(59:39):
maybe you are still in need of healing being healed from.
And so that's why I think the older I get,
the less I realize because people, a lot of us
have unresolved issues in our lives that we really need
to be healed from. And it goes far back as
our parents. The lack of what we might have gotten
from our mothers and our father's, all of that plays

(01:00:01):
into it. So but anyway, so I just feel like
if I tell my story and if I just share,
then maybe that'll bring more people in a community in
a space where we can now know that we're safe
and that we feel one another. We are safe and
we can draw strength from each other. So communities of

(01:00:21):
like experiences, like minded people are very very helpful. Because
shame says that I am wrong. Shame says that I
don't deserve to exist, And that's what I felt. For
a very long time. I thought I was an accident.
My mother and my father they were married, but they
weren't married to each other. And I always thought that
I was an accident. I was supposed to be here anyway,

(01:00:42):
So you know, you know, that's that's shame. Shame says
I'm not even supposed to exist, and guilt says I'm
wrong for what I did and for the choice that
I made. So you're either and those are two hard
places to be in, to be ashamed of who you
are and to feel guilty for things that you've done.

(01:01:03):
And religion perpetuates that a lot. Religion hits you over
the head. It gives you these you know, all of
these strict doing don'ts in these legalistic and and so
it just really, I think compounds the situation. It doesn't
give you space to really be, you know, compassionate with yourself.

(01:01:25):
And maybe you did make wrong decisions. Maybe you didn't
make the best choices as it relates to the men
in your life and how long you stayed with them
and how long you allowed yourself to be victimized by them.
Maybe you didn't make the right choices. But you're you're okay,
You've come through it and you're still here. So you
may not have satisfied what you needed to satisfy to

(01:01:48):
because in those situations, there is something that it is.
It is satisfying. I had an Auntie. She was a
metaphysical doctor, and she was to always tell me, Laurie,
until you satisfy your need for that, you are the
only one that's going to be able to say it's
time for me to go. And you know, because and

(01:02:09):
she was right. You know, I stayed in situations. You know,
I was with someone who was a crack addict for
twenty five years and I became codependent. He was one
of my husbands.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
So I've been married in divorce a couple of times.
But in those in each of those situations, I've learned
so much. I realized now it didn't happen to me,
It happened for me because I'm at a place now
where I have such a vocabulary, such a language, such
a wide range that I can speak to people on
just about every situation. Because I had to learn, I

(01:02:43):
grew from each of those situations. And you know what
I'm saying, and staying in those situations, I realized, like
my Auntie said, that there was something in me that
I was needing to satisfy. And I knew that I
didn't have love. I lacked a self love, I lacked
respect for myself, and I had to keep going back

(01:03:05):
to the room. Why do you lack respect for yourself?
You know, it's like you got to keep drilling down,
keep drilling down. So my community now is very important
to me, a very tight circle. But I enjoy being
asked to do what you've asked me to do, to
come on and talk about it, and come on and share,
and just the hope that someone listening can just hear

(01:03:28):
that you can get through it. It doesn't have to
take you out. You don't have to continue to be
in a rut. You don't have to continue to be stuck.
You don't have to continue to go around in circles
and not have the answers and not know which way
to turn. You can get through it. But it all
begins with you. Inside of you. The Bible talks about
the Kingdom of God dwelling on the inside of you.

(01:03:49):
That's a whole rich in itself. Everything we need is
on the inside of us. It's not externally. It's not
getting the best job, it's not driving the finest car,
carrying the handbag, the designer clothes. It's not in that.
It's in who are you. That's a powerful question I
had to ask myself who am I and what do

(01:04:09):
I want? Somebody asked me what I want? What, Laurie,
what do you want? I couldn't answer the question right there.
I didn't know. And then maybe some time later, I said,
I just want to be happy. But I thought that
was crazy to you know, like happy, what does that mean? Happy?
To be free from all of these demons that keep

(01:04:30):
nagging at me? But until you deal with them, until
you one by one, until you get to the root
of those things. And why this narcissistic ego tripping person
feeds you because you now feel like you have to
rise to the occasion and make them see who you
are and your value. And you know, you feel like,

(01:04:52):
now you got to prove to them why they shouldn't
treat you that way. You got to prove to this
person why you're so good. My daddy, you know, he
shunned me, He pushed me away from him most of
my life. But I was always trying to prove to him.
But I'm a good daughter. You want to be with me,
you want you want to have a relationship with me.
I'm really good. I could in at the last six

(01:05:14):
months of his life. I was the one to move
in with him when he had dementia and would go
in and out of you know, you know, he he
might have been. I don't know if the family was
wanting to put him in a nursing home or not,
but I said, no, that's my daddy, even though he
pushed me away most of my life because he didn't
he really didn't tell his wife about me until later on.

(01:05:34):
But anyway, that's a whole nother story too. But I'm
the one that decided I'm gonna move in with my
daddy and I'm going to take care of my daddy
and make sure he don't walk out the house at
night because he had dementia with no clothes on and
things like that. And I slept on the couch by
his bedroom and made sure that he didn't leave. And
I said, I'm gonna do that because he's my daddy.
He's the reason why I'm he and I always needed

(01:05:54):
to prove to him why I'm the good daughter. But
the last six months of his life, he even apologized
to me for treating me the way he did. And
I think that's all I wanted. I just wanted him
to apologize to me. And and but anyway, so like
I said, that's another story. But I don't want to
get too far away. But I want to make sure
that I answer your question. But there's just so many

(01:06:17):
facets to life and just looking in the mirror and
just realizing and understanding that there's a reason why when
you're dealing with what you're dealing with and why you're
going through what you're going through, ask yourself, why am
I going through this? And if it keeps popping up,
if the same thing keeps popping up over and over
and over again, what is it that's in me that

(01:06:37):
has not yet learned the lesson? Yep, that's a good
question to ask. And I ask myself that a lot.
And so you know, my insecurities, my inadequacies, my feeling shame,
my feeling guilt because of you know, years and years
of going as a Jehovah's witness and always going before
the Sanhedrin and always confessing my sins. Today they was

(01:07:00):
like serious gangstas, but I did something wrong. I'm always
going to the elbows and feeling like I got to consiss.
Oh my god, he act as a whole nother story.

Speaker 1 (01:07:15):
And I want to just say, first of all, I
am glad you're here, and I am grateful for this time.
I'm grateful for you sharing your stories. I'm grateful for
you getting to this place in your life where you
are able to, you know, pour into people who need
to hear it, because I am I guarantee there are

(01:07:37):
some people who are going to hear your episode and
who are going to hear your story and it's really
going to touch them and resonate and be impactual for
how they go about asking themselves that question of what
do you need?

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
Who are you? And what do you want?

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
And that was a word about happiness, because happiness it
feels like this ambiguous thing that we can't ever you know,
quantify or qualify and we can't ever capture. It feels
like a thing that we're fleeting right like we're never
we can't just stay in that and live in that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
It's will come and go from it. We'll eventually get there.

Speaker 1 (01:08:15):
But we'll always you know, leave happiness and then we'll
come back at some point. But I think you are
a testament in your story, and you know, all that
you've shared is a testament that you can live in
that space and that there is uh, you know, happiness
for us as individuals that we can find in our
lives that our lives are not over because of certain

(01:08:38):
experiences that we've had. We can always get to happiness
and we can stay there. It just requires a little
bit of work, and it requires the toolkit that you
mentioned that can help us stay there. But if we,
you know, build up that resilience and we build not
even resilience, I hate that term, but if we build
up this toolkit and if we build up this commune unity,

(01:09:02):
we can get to that space and we can stay there.
And so this takes me to my final question, and
you may have already addressed it, but you know, if
you want to maybe reiterate it for this final piece,
if you could speak directly to the next generation of
black survivors, what do you want them to know about

(01:09:22):
their power, their healing, and their future.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
That your future is bright, Embrace everything about it, everything
you've gone through. Nothing just happens. Everything, the good, the bad.
As I said, it all happens for a reason, and
part of that reason is to get you to ask yourself,

(01:09:49):
why am I here? And if it's a patternet repeats itself,
then there's something about you that has not been a trust.
So the future is very bright as we really reclaim,
especially as Black women, as we reclaim who we are
and the power of the strength of who we are.

(01:10:11):
We are a very strong, strong force. If we unite
and if we lift one another, and if we encourage
one another, we help support one another, then we will
definitely be able to save this world. If I can
say it that way. I believe the world is in

(01:10:31):
a place of needing to be saved right now. And
when I say being saved, I think that the world
as a whole, even the Earth itself, is going through
some groaning and some pains. You know, We're seeing a
lot of earthquakes, We're seeing a lot of volcanic eruptions,

(01:10:54):
We're seeing a lot of just misalignments, you know, in
the energetic patterns of this world and this system of
things as a whole. And I truly believe in the
force of nature. I believe strongly in the force of
power and how the Earth has been so abused to

(01:11:16):
the point that it throws us as people off because
we come from the earth, you know, we come from
the energetic patterns of the cosmos, We come from nature,
we come from the cosmos. We come from all of
the things, the way we are made up. So we
have to get back to the power of the nurturing woman.

(01:11:38):
When you nurse a baby at your breast, that is
the best milk that can come to nourish everything about
that child. So we as women, we have to be now.
It has to come back to the point where we
are respected and a community is only as good as
the way they treat their women. We've got to get

(01:12:00):
out of this, you know, denigrating our women, denigrating the
men who are saying, oh I don't want a black woman. Well,
you got some issues with your own mother. You need
to go back and explore because she abandoned you because
you feel like she paid more attention to her boyfriends

(01:12:22):
than she paid to you. You know, because maybe you
saw her, as Tupac would say, even as a crack fiend, mama,
you're still was a black queen. Mama. You know, you
have to go back and say to yourself, what is
the thing I need to get right with the women
in my life, because that is affecting how you see women.

(01:12:45):
So we have got to know that it's going to
be okay. We are in an age of awakening and enlightenment.
They can use walk and throw it around the way
they want to. But I would rather be awake then
I would be in a dead spiritual sleep. I want
to be awake. I want to know. I want to

(01:13:07):
speak to the younger generation. I don't want to confuse
them about religion and church. And because you see your
mama so dedicated to the church, but yet she is
still depressed, she's still without a husband, she's still with
she's still lacking. You want to you. You want to
know that you can embrace the sacredness of your spirituality

(01:13:31):
and the naturalness of you just being who you are
as a as a as a a feeling person, and
that feelings is not anything to be ashamed of, because
there we have ancestors that could just look at you,
put put their hand in your scalp, and tell things
about you. My grandmother used to dream about fish, and

(01:13:52):
every time she dreamt about fish, somebody was pregnant. She
said about fish last night. Yep, somebody would always be pregnant.
So it's those those special things, the gifts, the talents,
the abilities that are lying dormant within us because we've
allowed a colonized Western civilization to tell us those things

(01:14:16):
are not valuable, Those things are demonic, those things are
like not even practical. No, you want to feel, you
want to feel. I want somebody to feel. I want
to know that somebody cares deeply. You know. Compassion is
a superpower. Empathy is too. So that's my thing that

(01:14:40):
there is hope. The more we unite, the more we
come together as like minded individuals to help awaken this community,
starting with our young people, the better off we'll be.

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
I appreciate you, sister LJ.

Speaker 2 (01:14:58):
I appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (01:14:59):
Is there is there anything that you didn't that I
didn't ask that you wanted to make sure was said?

Speaker 2 (01:15:08):
I am, well, I will. I just thank you again.
And to the producers who are in the background, you know,
the quiet background people, they are always important as well.
And you know, I just want to be grateful for
for them, because it takes it takes support to do
things like this, and and I just you know, know

(01:15:29):
that you've got a great team of people in a
great support system that certainly means so much. I don't
know why my nose wants to be itching on it,
but anyway, I'm just trying to play it off. But anyway,
I just thank you again for the invitation to share.
And you know, I'm just really looking forward to what's

(01:15:51):
going to be your next steps and the you know,
the greatness that is to come with your podcast. And
I'm just happy that you, you know, saw me as
someone that would be desirous of you to speak to.
That doesn't I don't take that lightly. That's a really,

(01:16:13):
really big, big deal. And so I'm really grateful that
you even thought of me enough to reach out to me,
to invite me to your to your space, and.

Speaker 1 (01:16:24):
You've given us some amazing gem. So I am grateful
that you were able to share all that you've shared
with us today. And we will just so you just
so you know, we'll make sure that the books that
you referenced and that you spoke about and the works
that you spoke about are included in the show notes.
We'll also make sure your book is included in the

(01:16:45):
show notes. But is there anywhere specific if anyone wants
to get in touch with you to learn more about,
you know, your story, your connections to the community there
they're in Charleston. Is there like a shout out that
you would like to get for how you want people
to reach out to you or where they can find
more information about you, Well.

Speaker 2 (01:17:02):
Thank you for that. Yeah, I you know, I'm a
serial entrepreneur, so I you know, my grandmother used to
call me a pedlar. I do have outside of radio,
my own business, LJ Enterprises, which is you know, it's
an umbrella. I the the biggest thing, the top of
the list is the organization that I'm now president of

(01:17:23):
which we help people who want to do genealogy research
of their own family trees. There are so many hidden
treasures within our own family background, so I help people
with that and that's it's if you search the website
is a h g S dot O R g OGGS
is what we call it for short. A a h

(01:17:45):
g S stands for Afro American Historical Genealogical Society. So
the South Carolina chapter just just came about, and I'm
the president and we help individuals, like I said, who
want to trace their family roots. So that's that's a
big deal for me. Another big deal is that I'm
on the radio Monday through Friday from ten am to

(01:18:06):
three p m my show called Moments with LJ. You
can find me on Facebook at Moments with LJ as
well as Instagram too. Moments with LJ is for people
outside of the Charleston area. They can access it by
going to Heaven Radio f M dot com. That's where

(01:18:26):
we stream it live, Heaven Radio f M dot com.
And again, I'm on social media. I like Facebook a lot.
I'm on there as My egolla name is Ufe Dojo,
which is u f e d o o j o
at Gula means the love of God and she who
remains shall never go astray. So that's what for Dojo

(01:18:50):
Agula stands for. But if you search Lori l J. Johnson,
it'll come up on Facebook as well. And uh so, yeah,
that that's that's pretty much yet in a nutshell, thank
you for allowing me those those options. And we do
have some books. I do have the book In Defense
of Dinah if anyone wants a copy of that, as

(01:19:12):
well as a book that I wrote with my fifth
grade teacher who I referenced earlier that I still have
a connection to. He's eighty years old. In the book
is called How to Grow a Child, a Child's Advice
to Parents. All Right, thank you so MUCHA sortaly welcome.

Speaker 1 (01:19:38):
In this ritual segment. I want to bridge that legacy
of I. B. Wells Barnett, the pioneering anti lynching crusader
of the nineteenth century South, with the personal journey of
Lourie Johnson or Sister l J who you just heard from,
as I positioned her as our contemporary pioneer, finding healing

(01:20:00):
in her voice and her career in radio and through
her Gala Igala cultural roots. Though they're separated by more
than a century, both women have dedicated themselves to a
movement in the South centering on truth, telling, empowerment, and
healing from trauma.

Speaker 2 (01:20:19):
From I. W.

Speaker 1 (01:20:20):
Wells's fearless exposure of racial and sexual violence to Sister
Alja's path of self discovery and spiritual restoration, there's a
common thread of transforming pain into power through storytelling.

Speaker 2 (01:20:34):
I W.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
Wells Burnette's campaign can be seen as an early movement
for truth and justice in the South, one that centered
black people's and particularly black women's voices. She spoke as
a black woman who refused to accept the narratives that
were imposed by this white society. Historian Paula Giddings observed

(01:20:55):
that black women of the era responded to Wells's anti
lynching crusade quote not only is a call to arms
for the race, but for women specifically as well. So
Wells and her peers like Sir Journer Truth and Anna
Julia Cooper were forerunners of intersectional activism, insisting that racial

(01:21:17):
justice and gender justice go hand in hand, and they
demanded that the plight of black women, which included sexual
assault by white perpetrators, be acknowledged and addressed, even when
white feminists would not touch those issues.

Speaker 2 (01:21:30):
While Ida B.

Speaker 1 (01:21:31):
Wells fought a very public battle against sexual violence in
the eighteen nineties, Sister lj has fought and more private
but also courageous battle in her own time, one of
healing from trauma and shame in that religious and family context.
Sister l Ja shared with us how much she struggled

(01:21:52):
with deep feelings of shame, secrecy, and personal trauma. And
it's actually not uncommon for strict or unstable upbreaking to
leave children carrying emotional wounds. Sister Elje's experience echoes that
of many young people who have grown up feeling voiceless
or burdened by guilt, and for years she carried her

(01:22:13):
painful experiences in silence, not receiving the support that she needed,
and her story represents countless Black women who have had
to carry the weight of sexual violence or other traumas,
including intimate partner violence or domestic violence for years without help,
a legacy of violence that we still see throughout history

(01:22:36):
into the present day. But what Sister ELJ did, which
she articulated beautifully in her Roll Call interview, which she
embarked on a powerful process of self discovery, one that
was focused on emotional healing and spiritual growth. A turning
point in her healing was actually her opportunity to delve

(01:23:00):
into her ancestral roots. Sister LJ was able to trace
lineage back to West Africa, specifically in Nigeria through the
Gulla people of South Carolina, but that Gulla Gala cultural
influence played a key role in how Sister Lja healed.
She learned about the traditions of her ancestors from the

(01:23:22):
Gulla practice of honoring the ancestors, for instance, which is
still tied to some of the celebrations that they hold
every year in South Carolina, honoring the Gullagulla Ocho Festival,
and it connects the rich folk healing knowledge which has
been passed on through generations in the low Country. Embracing

(01:23:44):
these traditions helped Sister Lja realize that she is part
of a continuum stretching back to resilient African ancestors who
survived the Middle Passage and Bondage, and the same cultural
practices that sustained her great grandparents. Her great great grandparents,
even through connections to nature, community gatherings and spiritual ceremonies,

(01:24:10):
could also help sustain her through her personal trials and
so by adopting this spiritual and holistic healing practices that
were rooted in her heritage, Sister Elja began to shed
that cloak of shame that we talked about in many
of these episodes this season, that she'd worn for so long.

(01:24:31):
She had spoken about the power of communicating with her ancestors,
and she built a bridge between the past and the present,
using that ancestral wisdom to heal those present wounds, and
today's Sister LJ stands as a testament to holistic healing
and self empowerment. She transformed her life, and in doing so,

(01:24:53):
she's also become part of a modern movement in the
South that encourages black women to speak up about their pain,
to seek counseling and culturally affirming ways, and to celebrate
themselves unapologetically. So I to be Wells. Barnett and Sister
LJ Tho living in different centuries and fighting different battles,

(01:25:15):
I see them as kindred spirits in this ongoing story
of Black women in the South. Each in her own
way exemplifies courage, faith, and a commitment to empowerment. And
Ida carried those stories of her people's suffering and force
the world to see and hear them. Sister LJ carried

(01:25:38):
her own story of pain for many years and is
now forcing the people around her to see and hear
her truth. And we even talked about some other ways
to you know, improve that and build on those skills
that she's developed over the years. Sister LJ really emphasized
that learning about her heritage was like finding a missing
piece of herself almost and that is the gift of history.

(01:26:02):
It tells us who we are and what we're capable of.

Speaker 3 (01:26:05):
And I to be Wells.

Speaker 1 (01:26:06):
In recording the history of lynching, was also telling Black
Americans that our lives matter, our stories matter, and we
must remember them.

Speaker 2 (01:26:17):
So in a sense.

Speaker 1 (01:26:18):
Both women were kind of these keepers of stories. One
documented a collective trauma of sorts of people, and the
other shares the more intimate narrative of individual trauma, but
also using that story to then pour into other people,
as she's doing in her work now. And together, these
stories teach us about the cost of injustice and the

(01:26:39):
healing power of reclamation. They both remind us that the
South soil, though it carries with it so much pain,
also grows incredible strength. And many of their examples encourage
each of us to listen to the long silence voices,
to honor the stories that have been hit hidden, and

(01:27:00):
to support the healing journeys that are long overdue. And
I can't wait for you all to hear from a
guest next week who allows us to take this to
a whole new level. So we're going to be looking
outside of the focus of what this first season is
covered to something even greater, connecting us back to the Motherland.

(01:27:24):
So thank you for tuning in this week. Don't forget
to take care of yourself, take care of one another,
and release whatever shame or guilt you may be feeling
about the harm that's been done to you.

Speaker 3 (01:27:35):
You're not alone.

Speaker 1 (01:27:37):
I'll see you next time. Make sure you're subscribing to
our show on whatever platforms you get your podcasts so
you don't miss any new ones, and don't forget to
rate and review the shows as well. It really helps
the show to find its audience and to make sure
that we are hearing back from you and hearing what
you're enjoying about the show.

Speaker 3 (01:27:56):
We'll see you next time.

Speaker 1 (01:28:08):
The Unwanted Sorority is hosted and executive producd bymy Lean
tre Tate. Our executive producer is Joel Money, our producer
is Carmen Loren and original cover art is created by
Savannah Yuler. I would also like to have special thanks
to the I Heard Podcast Next Up program for helping
bring the show to life. Also all of the guests
who have taken a step in sharing their story with
you all on these episodes, and finally to all the

(01:28:30):
members of the Sorority who will never tell their story,
we see you and your story matters.

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