June 12, 2025 • 8 mins
John and Melissa, both survivors of narcissistic abuse, dive deep into the devastating topic of financial abuse. Narcissists often use money as a tool to control and manipulate their victims, making it nearly impossible to escape their grip. In this podcast, we discuss the various forms of financial abuse and provide actionable tips to protect yourself and reclaim your financial independence.
Key topics covered:
- The different types of financial abuse narcissists use to control their victims.
- Debt manipulation, loan fraud, and credit card abuse by narcissistic partners.
- How narcissists sabotage your financial independence by limiting your access to money, controlling your paycheck, or hiding financial information.
- Practical steps to protect yourself from financial manipulation, including freezing your credit, using Credit Karma, and setting up an emergency fund.
Don’t miss out on this important information that can help you take control of your life and health.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
They can also sabotage your financial independence by controlling whether
or not you work outside the home or not, and
what happens to your paycheck if you do work. If
they control your paycheck where it goes automatically into an
account that only they have access to, it really doesn't
(00:21):
matter if you are working. If you can't access your
own money, then you can't make that decision to lead
if you need to. So we're going to get into
ways to combat these things too.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Welcome to the Victim to Warrior podcast Warrior Talk.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
We're John and Melissa and we are both survivors of
narcissistic abuse and our mission is to help other survivors
reclaim and rebuild their lives.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Now in this podcast, we're going to talk about a
devastating type of abuse, financial abuse.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Financial abuse is something that a narcissist holds over their
victim because they can control your every move. If you
don't have access to money, your decisions about whatever you
want to do are extremely limited, if not impossible.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Right, So let's talk about the different types of financial
abuse because there's so many different ways for an abuser
to control their victims through the financial abuse. Now, we
just did a five part series on our social media
platforms that really lay out what each of these look like.
So if you need to see them, that's where you
can see exactly what they look like as they're happening.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
So maybe if it's happening in your house or your life,
you can actually recognize it. One of the devastating ways
an abuser can control you is controlling your access to money,
limiting the amount of money that you actually can have,
like giving you some small allowance monitoring your spending. They
(01:59):
can also sabotage your financial independence by controlling whether or
not you work outside the home or not, and what
happens to your paycheck if you do work. If they
control your paycheck where it goes automatically into an account
that only they have access to, it really doesn't matter
(02:19):
if you are working. If you can't access your own money,
then you can't make that decision to lead if you
need to. So we're gonna get into ways to combat
these things too now. Debt manipulation. This is loan fraud,
credit card fraud, opening debts in your name that you
are not aware of.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
That's what I suffer.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yes, excessive spending, hoarding money, or actually hiding money if
they limit your spending and go through every single penny
you spend, but they are spending on whatever and whenever,
they are actually blowing money while they are leaving you
almost penny list because you can't make decisions without money.
(03:03):
They may be using threats or manipulation to control you,
saying they're going to cut you off access. They're not
going they're going to turn off the credit cards. When
you don't have credit in your own name and you
don't have access to funds in your own name, they
can't cut your access off, especially if you're just an
authorized user. You need to be able to establish credit
(03:25):
on your own. We'll also get into that, and it's.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Amazing how many of our clients are suffering no right.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Now exactly, and they didn't even realize they were only
an authorized user until their access was denied, and then
they have that. You can't do anything about it because
it's not your credit card. Hiding financial information. This is
a biggie because if you're going through legal procedures or
you want to or maybe your narcissist has asked for
a divorce, if they've hidden all the financial information, it's
(03:53):
very difficult for you to prove what they've done with
the money. Now we can kind of go into to
combat some of these things, so you know what to
do to protect yourself.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, let's let's talk about that now. If you are
suffering from any of these please list them in the
comments below. Let us know what you're dealing with right now,
and we'll try to help along the way. And if
you're not subscribed to this channel yet, please subscribe. We're
trying to grow this channel and spread this awareness. So
if you haven't subscribed yet, please do so. So let's
(04:24):
talk about protecting yourself now. There's a couple of things
you can do right away. And I wish I had
done this because I suffered and didn't even know it
until after it was too late. I didn't freeze my
credit and I didn't use credit. Carmer, Now this happened.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Now she was opening credit in your name, like literally
applying for loans in his name, not even join and
he had no idea.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Right, my credit wasn't frozen, so it was very easy
for her to do that. So if I had frozen
my three repositories, she would not have been able to
open up credit in my name. So you can just
go to each of those equifacts and TransUnion online and
it's very easy to freeze your credit and then when
you need to access credit or open credit, you just
(05:08):
unfreeze it. It's very simple to do. But the great
thing about it is it's safe. It's a safety to
keep other people from opening up credit in your name.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Our credit has been frozen for years and years and
a year we learned the hard way. Yes, also downloading
credit Karma. Credit Karma lets you know if somebody is
acquiring into your credit. They let you know what your
credit's going. You get alerts, you get yes, you get alerts.
They let you know how to improve your credit maybe
if you would if you're qualified for a loan, we
(05:39):
always recommend get a credit card in your own name
and set up an emergency fund. This is hugely important
because if you don't have money, like we said, your
decision making is very very limited, and if you do
manage to get out, being financially desperate could be one
of the reasons you go back, and you don't want
(06:00):
to be part of that statistic. So having little parts
of little things of money, like if you do work,
having your paycheck maybe twenty five dollars or fifty dollars
a paycheck, go into another account you open at a
different bank, and go with online statements. You don't want
any paper trail on this. And if your narcissist complains
(06:22):
that your check is fifty dollars less than it was,
just tell them your the taxes went up, your insurance
went up. At least you're moving some money into another
account that only you have access to. Now. I know
this is probably overwhelming, but this is the reason we
created a six part video series on financial independence and
(06:45):
recovering from financial abuse. It also comes with a forty
seven page workbook. I was in the financial industry for
forty years of my career and I've helped so many.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
People, thousands of people recover in financial abuse, protecting.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Them sales and recover and this video series. John's gonna
link it in the description below so you can check
out everything that's included. But it will walk you through
freezing your credit, protecting yourself from my identity theft, rebuilding your
credit if your credit has been ruined a derogatory credit
because of the abusive relationship. It gives you ways to
(07:20):
rebuild and start rebuilding your credit score. It gives you
ways to budget, how to pay off debt the quickest,
especially if you're in a lot of debt because of
the abusive situation.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It happens so much, oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It does, and how to set up an emergency fund
and little tips and tricks on ways to do it,
as well as keeping documents safe because without those documents,
it's very difficult to prove somebody has taken assets out
of the marriage that you didn't know about.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
So, like Melissa said, I'll put the link below in
the description to our financial empowerment series and when you
go to that link, you'll see everything that's included in
this It can be life changing, yes, really for you.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Because you can use that work but now and long
into the future. Absolutely, yeah, So check it out and
are also our video series on our channel so you
can actually see what the abuse looks like, is it
happening in your home, and ways.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
To protect your so the eye opening.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes it will. So thank you guys for following us
and tuning into our podcast, and we hope to see
you next week.
They can also sabotage your financial independence by controlling whether
or not you work outside the home or not, and
what happens to your paycheck if you do work. If
they control your paycheck where it goes automatically into an
account that only they have access to, it really doesn't
(00:21):
matter if you are working. If you can't access your
own money, then you can't make that decision to lead
if you need to. So we're going to get into
ways to combat these things too.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Welcome to the Victim to Warrior podcast Warrior Talk.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
We're John and Melissa and we are both survivors of
narcissistic abuse and our mission is to help other survivors
reclaim and rebuild their lives.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Now in this podcast, we're going to talk about a
devastating type of abuse, financial abuse.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Financial abuse is something that a narcissist holds over their
victim because they can control your every move. If you
don't have access to money, your decisions about whatever you
want to do are extremely limited, if not impossible.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Right, So let's talk about the different types of financial
abuse because there's so many different ways for an abuser
to control their victims through the financial abuse. Now, we
just did a five part series on our social media
platforms that really lay out what each of these look like.
So if you need to see them, that's where you
can see exactly what they look like as they're happening.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
So maybe if it's happening in your house or your life,
you can actually recognize it. One of the devastating ways
an abuser can control you is controlling your access to money,
limiting the amount of money that you actually can have,
like giving you some small allowance monitoring your spending. They
(01:59):
can also sabotage your financial independence by controlling whether or
not you work outside the home or not, and what
happens to your paycheck if you do work. If they
control your paycheck where it goes automatically into an account
that only they have access to, it really doesn't matter
(02:19):
if you are working. If you can't access your own money,
then you can't make that decision to lead if you
need to. So we're gonna get into ways to combat
these things too now. Debt manipulation. This is loan fraud,
credit card fraud, opening debts in your name that you
are not aware of.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
That's what I suffer.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yes, excessive spending, hoarding money, or actually hiding money if
they limit your spending and go through every single penny
you spend, but they are spending on whatever and whenever,
they are actually blowing money while they are leaving you
almost penny list because you can't make decisions without money.
(03:03):
They may be using threats or manipulation to control you,
saying they're going to cut you off access. They're not
going they're going to turn off the credit cards. When
you don't have credit in your own name and you
don't have access to funds in your own name, they
can't cut your access off, especially if you're just an
authorized user. You need to be able to establish credit
(03:25):
on your own. We'll also get into that, and it's.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Amazing how many of our clients are suffering no right.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Now exactly, and they didn't even realize they were only
an authorized user until their access was denied, and then
they have that. You can't do anything about it because
it's not your credit card. Hiding financial information. This is
a biggie because if you're going through legal procedures or
you want to or maybe your narcissist has asked for
a divorce, if they've hidden all the financial information, it's
(03:53):
very difficult for you to prove what they've done with
the money. Now we can kind of go into to
combat some of these things, so you know what to
do to protect yourself.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Yeah, let's let's talk about that now. If you are
suffering from any of these please list them in the
comments below. Let us know what you're dealing with right now,
and we'll try to help along the way. And if
you're not subscribed to this channel yet, please subscribe. We're
trying to grow this channel and spread this awareness. So
if you haven't subscribed yet, please do so. So let's
(04:24):
talk about protecting yourself now. There's a couple of things
you can do right away. And I wish I had
done this because I suffered and didn't even know it
until after it was too late. I didn't freeze my
credit and I didn't use credit. Carmer, Now this happened.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Now she was opening credit in your name, like literally
applying for loans in his name, not even join and
he had no idea.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Right, my credit wasn't frozen, so it was very easy
for her to do that. So if I had frozen
my three repositories, she would not have been able to
open up credit in my name. So you can just
go to each of those equifacts and TransUnion online and
it's very easy to freeze your credit and then when
you need to access credit or open credit, you just
(05:08):
unfreeze it. It's very simple to do. But the great
thing about it is it's safe. It's a safety to
keep other people from opening up credit in your name.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Our credit has been frozen for years and years and
a year we learned the hard way. Yes, also downloading
credit Karma. Credit Karma lets you know if somebody is
acquiring into your credit. They let you know what your
credit's going. You get alerts, you get yes, you get alerts.
They let you know how to improve your credit maybe
if you would if you're qualified for a loan, we
(05:39):
always recommend get a credit card in your own name
and set up an emergency fund. This is hugely important
because if you don't have money, like we said, your
decision making is very very limited, and if you do
manage to get out, being financially desperate could be one
of the reasons you go back, and you don't want
(06:00):
to be part of that statistic. So having little parts
of little things of money, like if you do work,
having your paycheck maybe twenty five dollars or fifty dollars
a paycheck, go into another account you open at a
different bank, and go with online statements. You don't want
any paper trail on this. And if your narcissist complains
(06:22):
that your check is fifty dollars less than it was,
just tell them your the taxes went up, your insurance
went up. At least you're moving some money into another
account that only you have access to. Now. I know
this is probably overwhelming, but this is the reason we
created a six part video series on financial independence and
(06:45):
recovering from financial abuse. It also comes with a forty
seven page workbook. I was in the financial industry for
forty years of my career and I've helped so many.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
People, thousands of people recover in financial abuse, protecting.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Them sales and recover and this video series. John's gonna
link it in the description below so you can check
out everything that's included. But it will walk you through
freezing your credit, protecting yourself from my identity theft, rebuilding your
credit if your credit has been ruined a derogatory credit
because of the abusive relationship. It gives you ways to
(07:20):
rebuild and start rebuilding your credit score. It gives you
ways to budget, how to pay off debt the quickest,
especially if you're in a lot of debt because of
the abusive situation.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
It happens so much, oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It does, and how to set up an emergency fund
and little tips and tricks on ways to do it,
as well as keeping documents safe because without those documents,
it's very difficult to prove somebody has taken assets out
of the marriage that you didn't know about.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
So, like Melissa said, I'll put the link below in
the description to our financial empowerment series and when you
go to that link, you'll see everything that's included in
this It can be life changing, yes, really for you.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Because you can use that work but now and long
into the future. Absolutely, yeah, So check it out and
are also our video series on our channel so you
can actually see what the abuse looks like, is it
happening in your home, and ways.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
To protect your so the eye opening.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes it will. So thank you guys for following us
and tuning into our podcast, and we hope to see
you next week.
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