March 28, 2025 • 19 mins
Surviving the Holidays with a Narcissist | Warrior Talk Podcast | Victim to Warrior Certified Professional LIfe Coaches and Abuse Survivors, John and Melissa, lead you throught tactics to survive the Holidays with a Narcissist.
Don’t miss out on this important information that can help you take control of your life and health.
Private FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thev2w
Melissa call link: https://thev2w.com/personalized-support/ 8-week Life Transformation Method: https://thev2w.com/life-transformatio...
Website: www.thev2w.com 12 Critical Steps to Take Before You Leave webinar: https://thev2w.com/webinars/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What is a narcissist number one goal during the holidays.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
To ruin it for everyone because they're not the center
of attention, and you know how many of you have
been there. So we're going to talk about how to
survive the holidays if a narcissist is in your life.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Welcome to the Victim to Warriors.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Show Warrior Talk, And this is our fifth episode where
John and Melissa and we are survivors of narcissistic abuse
and our mission is to help other survivors reclaim and
rebuild their lives.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Right and today's episode we're so excited about because the
holidays are right around the corner And what is a
narcissist number one goal during the holidays?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
To ruin it for everyone because they're not the center
of attention, and you know how many of you have
been there. So we're going to talk about how to
survive the holidays if a narcissist.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Is in your life.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So we're gonna have Melissa take us through some tactics
to use in exactly how to survive the holidays with
a narcissist. So how are we going to do that?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Bab Well actually wrote them down.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We have an entire video series about how it looks
to be in a narcissistic relationship during the holidays and
how to survive it. We'll tell you where to find
that series, but just here's some practical things you can do.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
You know, you have to plan so when.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You think about what they've done in years previous and
how horrible it was, you've got to kind of be
strategic and how you're going to handle it.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
So you need to anticipate pretty much their move so
you know what you're dealing with. Oh yeah, you do.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Sadly, you have to set boundaries, Okay. You got to
be clear and consistent on what you're going to tolerate
and what you're not even if you have to gray
rock them because you know they're going to try to things.
Plan a safe exit strategy and what we mean by
that if things start getting out of control, then if
you're in your own house, just walk out of the room,
(02:11):
go into the other room, take a deep breath. If
you're somewhere else, then I would just suggest that you leave.
If it gets that out of control and it's ruining
everybody else's holiday where you've been invited, then I would
just take the kids get in the car and leave,
or if you can't do that, just walk outside with them.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Just try to de escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
That create some space.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yes, exactly, stick to a support system.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
What we mean by that is whoever is your friend
in that situation, whether it's at your house or someone else's,
that's the person you're going to go to. So you
are going to strike up a conversation with that safe
person to de escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Should you let that safe person know, hey, there might
be some fireworks here, Yes, unintentional thing as.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You remember from years pretty much great, great tip. Definitely
let them know. So if you could just make eye
contact with them, or if they see that you are
in a stressful situation things are getting escalated, they can
come to your rescue right so, and you do the
same for them.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Okay, Manage expectations.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
We all know a narcissist wants to control the situation.
That is their entire goal, controlling everything. So managing those
expectations means you are aware of what could potentially happen
and you're going to try to plan around it. You
have to expect that they're going to be up to
(03:45):
their nasty tactics once again this year. So hoping that
they won't do it is going to leave you vulnerable.
So just expect that they will and have a plan
to get around it.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Practice self care. You know what.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
They stress us out, you know, suck the life out
of us, make us exhaust it. Take some time for yourself,
even if it's just a few moments, even if you
have to excuse yourself, go into the bathroom, Count to ten,
pray whatever, right exactly, just to kind of catch your breath.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Come to the present moment so.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You can proceed without ruining it for everyone, because they
will if you let them. Limit the conversations, like we
said before, if they're going to start picking out the
way you cook something or your decorations. I mean, all
this is coming from my memory what I used to
have to go through, just tearing little things apart before
(04:44):
everyone get to our house. So I'm moving things around,
I'm all stressed. Then he would criticize how I looked.
So I was taking everything that he said to heart,
and I was scurring around, working myself up into a frenzy,
when that's exactly what he wanted me to do.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And you were already in a bad place. When the
guests show up, you're already stretched out. You're in a
bad place.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They're trying to fake your way through it, but on
the inside you're dying. So take understanding what they're trying
to do and just know that it's going to happen.
Just remember what they're doing. You practice self care, prepare
yourself mentally and physically for it, and remember to even
(05:27):
if you have to chant it to yourself, they're just
trying to work me up.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
They're just trying to get me upset. I am not
going to let that.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I think this is a perfect opportunity to gray rock.
Oh yeah, when this is a great time to just
remember you can't argue with the rock, So don't engage.
Just you know, and if they start picking it stuff
to say, well, this is the way the family likes it,
or this is the way I like it.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Or I'm sorry you don't like it, but everyone else
seems to. Don't engage in an argument with them, and
don't let them tear you down, even if you're struggling
on the inside, keeping that front, taking a deep breath,
walking away, going outside, talking to the safe person.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
All of those things are.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Going to help you de escalate, because if you're not
going to engage with them, it's going to be pretty
obvious that they're trying to destroy everyone's holiday. They don't
like to be the negative center of attention. They want
to be the positive center of attention. But if that
means tearing you down and making you feel horrible, so
they can escalate how they feel and then they're all
(06:33):
of a sudden, you know, entertaining the guests and you're
over here cowering in the corner.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That's exactly what they want.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Just anticipate the worst thing that they can do, which
is what they've done in the past, and plan a
strategy to combat it. So focus on your own joy.
That's a great one.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You know, that's huge because you know holidays only come
around once a year. Yes, some people are like, hallelujah,
only once a year, right, But we get to see
people that we don't see every day, we don't see
very often, relatives, people that aren't going to be around forever.
So we don't want to take away from that joy
(07:13):
of being with those people. By this situation, I can
remember the horrible holidays that we would have just because
and when we show this in our videos also of
the way that she would disengage. You go over and
pout about something, and I felt like I had to
go over there and try to make her feel better.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
But I'm taking.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Time away from my parents in my fai that that
that aren't going to be around forever, and so you
know what a horrible thing for me to have to
leave my family to, you know, to.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Pass when she's doing it for clear attention, clear attention,
and you feel.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Obligated if that is how it is.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Anticipate that and let them pout in the other realm.
Don't disengage from your guests who you've invited, who, like
you said, might.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Not be here, might not be here next year, so
you don't want to here the last holiday with these people.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
He ruined my last holiday with my mother, absolutely destroyed it,
and I let him do it so and I regret
that because it was the last Christmas I had.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
With my mom. And she knew it too. Remember how
I remember you told me the story about how upset
she was it ruined her last holiday.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
She was in tears.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
He's absolutely in tears, and she was sick, and so
she knew that she wasn't going to be here that
much longer, and I think it upset her because of
the life that I was in, and she.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Was so upset about that.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So just just know they're in it to upset, they're
in it to destroy. Don't let them, don't let them
pick your joy out and hold onto it.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I can't wait for you all to see these videos.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Oh yeah, gosh, Yes, avoid confrontation. We've talked about that.
Know when to walk away. We also talked about that
if they start picking, they start escalating.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Things, just walk away.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
If they follow you, it's going to be very obvious
that they are trying to ruin the holidays for everyone.
So Gray Rock, ignore, say the mantra in your head.
I'm not going to let them.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Just engage with your guests or or with the people
that you're visiting. Now, just engage, just to ignore the narcissists,
no matter who they are in law, mother in law, house, house,
about whatever, whoever it is. Re engage with the other
people there and just ignore the narcissists.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, just prepare mentally.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah, I am strong, and I deserve peace, and I
deserve joy and happiness, and I deserve to enjoy my holidays.
So those are things that we kind of demonstrate in
this series of videos if you want to tell them.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, absolutely. If you go to our TikTok channel and
I'll put the link in the description below and go
to our playlist, and you'll see surviving the Holidays with
a narcissist in that perfect to be titled. Right, So
we did seven different scenarios where you can see seven
different things going on with narcissists, in laws, spouses, ex spouses,
(10:19):
you know, the whole thing. So you can go through
there and see those seven examples of different types of
things that happened during the holidays and how to deal
with them.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, like you said, the ex spouses, we don't mean
you're inviting an ex spouse to a holiday. What we
mean is your ex may have your children for the
holidays and they're going to try to ruin it for
the children.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
So you have to use some of these tactics.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Even if they're not going to be physically with you,
you know, they're going to try something to ruin the
holidays for the kids or to ruin it for you
wherever you are.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
So we do have videos about that too.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, this is funny. Some of the comments we got
when we first posted these Surviving the Holidays with the
art Worth, Well, why would you invite them? Sometimes you
don't have a choice. In law, Yeah, or you're at
their home, or you've been invited through their home, or
it's it's the spouse's family and there's a narcissist there
that the mother in law, the father law and so,
(11:19):
or you have to invite them into your home and
you know it's going to be difficult, But sometimes you
don't have a choice. And so when you don't have
a choice, that's when these tactics are so valuable because
you know, the last thing that you want to have
happen is to get through the holidays and go He
did it again, ruin it again again.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And ruined everybody else's holiday. Because if they if you
let them completely manipulate the situation, everybody else is going
to be on edge.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It's going to be awkward. They could be crying in
their room, like my mother. They will ruin it for everyone,
and you know what, it won't matter to them.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I know after he destroyed our entire Christmas, the last
one I had with my mom, no one would even eat.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
No, everyone people laugh.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
My mother was crying, his mother was crying, and he
just sat down at and ate the roast beef dinner
in front of the TV like nothing ever happened, and
everyone else was completely destroyed and show.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And this happened several years in a row.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Yeah, Yeah, the.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Last year was the worst, and I should have known
how to handle I didn't know back then.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
I know now and you know now, So that's why
we're sharing that.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, So please check out that playlist again. Just go
to our TikTok channel put the link below and again
playlist Surviving the Holidays with an ARC. And there's seven
different videos within that, So you just click on that
and then go through the seven videos. And I hope
that what will happen is that one of those will
be like, Aha, that's what I'm gonna do. That's exactly
what I'm gonna do. I know this is going to
(12:54):
happen this year, and this is how I'm going to
handle it. So we hope that these videos really help
save your holidays. Now, a couple other things we want
to talk about real quick that can help you with
these holidays are if you are still in it and
you know it's going to be very very very difficult.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
And you are worried about how to handle it.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, yeah, I would recommend booking a call with Melissa,
and she is just so amazing because she's been through it.
She knows and can really help coach you through and
aren't the holidays worth it? So if the videos don't
do enough and you really feel like I need more strength,
I need more help, I need someone in my corner
during these holidays.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I need to talk about a specific situation that I
know is going to happen.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
You and I could kind.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Of work on stratgy yes, yeah, So what we want
to do is we want to extend our fall special
so that when you book two calls with Melissa, you'll
get your third for free. So when you book two,
you'll just send me an email John at the vtwow
dot com and I'll put that down below also, and
I'll send you the code to book your third call
for free.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
And you could book it whenever you want.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And we do have interest feed free payment options, so
you can book the calls, spread out the payments because
we know sometimes that's difficult during the holidays, but you
can still get the guidance and support that you need.
That can help you through these so you can enjoy
them and your family can enjoy them as well.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Right, so please don't let your narcissists ruin these holidays. Yeah, okay, Now,
what about if someone is out this is their first
holiday season without their narcissist, and they're just they're a
little bit scared, they're struggling their first time, they're kind
of alone in this situation. What would you recommend for
a first one in that situation.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Well, our eight week life Transformation, We've had so many
people go through it, and it is a way to
get you unstuck.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
It's a way to get.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You moving forward so you can start creating a life
that you love, a life that you dreamed about, a
life that was taken.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Away from you.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And we are offering a holiday special on that so
we know, like we said, you know, sometimes money's tight
during the holiday, so we are offering fifty percent off
that course.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
And it's eight weeks. It's eight weeks. It's chock full
of information, John, and I start your.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
New year having all these tools in place, yes, and
daily action steps to help you with you. So it's
a perfect time to start. Don't wait for the new
year start now, so that when the new year comes,
you are armed with the tools to have the best
year possible and you're living.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Your best life.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You're totally transformed, because sometimes it's very difficult. Once you've
been through something like this, you're brave enough to leave,
but all of the residue that follows, all the triggers,
the nightmares, the anxiety, kind of hangs on you. This
this course will transform your life in just a matter
(15:53):
of weeks instead of years, which took me, took you.
So that's how we came up with this course is
the things that took us forever. We actually condensed it
into daily, actionable steps, very very guided, very methodical. It
actually changes the way your brain thinks about things.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So you will be a warrior at the end of
the eighth week, and we will give you a warrior
shirt that's part of the whole thing. At the end
of the course, we're going to send your warrior sweatshirt
so you can wear it proudly because you will be
a warrior at that time.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
So awesome.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So I'll put the link for the able Transformation method
in the description below and then just enter holiday fifty.
I'll put that in there too, Holiday fifty to get
fifty percent off, and again there's interest free payment options too.
So if you go go ahead and get started with
this thing, so that when twenty twenty five, I can't
believe I'm saying that twenty twenty twenty five, twenty twenty
(16:49):
five comes around, you are going to be armed with
the tools to make the most of this coming year.
So we're so not alway is it going to help
you with the holidays because the action items that you
get started as the media immediately from day one, you
start learning things that are going to transition your and
transform your life, so you'll be able to enjoy the
holidays better. And then you'll be able to attack twenty
twenty five and make it your best year. So we're
(17:10):
so excited about that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, So thank you for watching, Thank you for following us.
Please subscribe if you haven't, click the like modification.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
By the way, I just want to mention this, we
just went over ten thousand subscribers on this YouTube channel.
Were so yeah, we're so excited about that. For those
of you who are already subscribed, we're so grateful to
you for a small channel like Melissa and I have
Victim to Warrior where we're trying to help as many
people as we can. To have ten thousand subscribers on
(17:43):
YouTube mean so much to us, so we're so grateful.
So if you haven't subscribed yet and you like this information,
please subscribe and give this podcast a thumbs up because
we want so many people to be able to see
it and take advantage of it so they can save
their holidays.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, yes, and put your comments below. We love reading them,
We love hearing from you.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And so I'm so glad you said that. Yeah, please
put your comments there. Two other things, if you have
any questions for us, please email us a questions at
the v twow dot com. Now I'm going to put
that link below also so you can just click on
it and send your questions to us. But questions at
the v twow dot com. And also, if you haven't
(18:25):
seen our website, would love for you to check out
our website. We're so proud of it. It's always just
for free resources on there. Yeah, tons of free resource
sources on there. Vv twow dot com. Uh, and just
click on that and there's all sorts of things for
you to see there as well. And then our link
in bio two on this page victim to Warrior dot bio.
(18:45):
Just click on that and you'll see all those free
your resource resources there as well.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
So thank you for tuning in and we'll see you
on our next episode, podcast six.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Up the porta pot of Dunston a potic dat
What is a narcissist number one goal during the holidays.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
To ruin it for everyone because they're not the center
of attention, and you know how many of you have
been there. So we're going to talk about how to
survive the holidays if a narcissist is in your life.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Welcome to the Victim to Warriors.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Show Warrior Talk, And this is our fifth episode where
John and Melissa and we are survivors of narcissistic abuse
and our mission is to help other survivors reclaim and
rebuild their lives.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Right and today's episode we're so excited about because the
holidays are right around the corner And what is a
narcissist number one goal during the holidays?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
To ruin it for everyone because they're not the center
of attention, and you know how many of you have
been there. So we're going to talk about how to
survive the holidays if a narcissist.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Is in your life.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So we're gonna have Melissa take us through some tactics
to use in exactly how to survive the holidays with
a narcissist. So how are we going to do that?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Bab Well actually wrote them down.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We have an entire video series about how it looks
to be in a narcissistic relationship during the holidays and
how to survive it. We'll tell you where to find
that series, but just here's some practical things you can do.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
You know, you have to plan so when.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You think about what they've done in years previous and
how horrible it was, you've got to kind of be
strategic and how you're going to handle it.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
So you need to anticipate pretty much their move so
you know what you're dealing with. Oh yeah, you do.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Sadly, you have to set boundaries, Okay. You got to
be clear and consistent on what you're going to tolerate
and what you're not even if you have to gray
rock them because you know they're going to try to things.
Plan a safe exit strategy and what we mean by
that if things start getting out of control, then if
you're in your own house, just walk out of the room,
(02:11):
go into the other room, take a deep breath. If
you're somewhere else, then I would just suggest that you leave.
If it gets that out of control and it's ruining
everybody else's holiday where you've been invited, then I would
just take the kids get in the car and leave,
or if you can't do that, just walk outside with them.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Just try to de escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
That create some space.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yes, exactly, stick to a support system.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
What we mean by that is whoever is your friend
in that situation, whether it's at your house or someone else's,
that's the person you're going to go to. So you
are going to strike up a conversation with that safe
person to de escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Should you let that safe person know, hey, there might
be some fireworks here, Yes, unintentional thing as.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You remember from years pretty much great, great tip. Definitely
let them know. So if you could just make eye
contact with them, or if they see that you are
in a stressful situation things are getting escalated, they can
come to your rescue right so, and you do the
same for them.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Okay, Manage expectations.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
We all know a narcissist wants to control the situation.
That is their entire goal, controlling everything. So managing those
expectations means you are aware of what could potentially happen
and you're going to try to plan around it. You
have to expect that they're going to be up to
(03:45):
their nasty tactics once again this year. So hoping that
they won't do it is going to leave you vulnerable.
So just expect that they will and have a plan
to get around it.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Practice self care. You know what.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
They stress us out, you know, suck the life out
of us, make us exhaust it. Take some time for yourself,
even if it's just a few moments, even if you
have to excuse yourself, go into the bathroom, Count to ten,
pray whatever, right exactly, just to kind of catch your breath.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Come to the present moment so.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You can proceed without ruining it for everyone, because they
will if you let them. Limit the conversations, like we
said before, if they're going to start picking out the
way you cook something or your decorations. I mean, all
this is coming from my memory what I used to
have to go through, just tearing little things apart before
(04:44):
everyone get to our house. So I'm moving things around,
I'm all stressed. Then he would criticize how I looked.
So I was taking everything that he said to heart,
and I was scurring around, working myself up into a frenzy,
when that's exactly what he wanted me to do.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And you were already in a bad place. When the
guests show up, you're already stretched out. You're in a
bad place.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They're trying to fake your way through it, but on
the inside you're dying. So take understanding what they're trying
to do and just know that it's going to happen.
Just remember what they're doing. You practice self care, prepare
yourself mentally and physically for it, and remember to even
(05:27):
if you have to chant it to yourself, they're just
trying to work me up.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
They're just trying to get me upset. I am not
going to let that.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I think this is a perfect opportunity to gray rock.
Oh yeah, when this is a great time to just
remember you can't argue with the rock, So don't engage.
Just you know, and if they start picking it stuff
to say, well, this is the way the family likes it,
or this is the way I like it.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Or I'm sorry you don't like it, but everyone else
seems to. Don't engage in an argument with them, and
don't let them tear you down, even if you're struggling
on the inside, keeping that front, taking a deep breath,
walking away, going outside, talking to the safe person.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
All of those things are.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Going to help you de escalate, because if you're not
going to engage with them, it's going to be pretty
obvious that they're trying to destroy everyone's holiday. They don't
like to be the negative center of attention. They want
to be the positive center of attention. But if that
means tearing you down and making you feel horrible, so
they can escalate how they feel and then they're all
(06:33):
of a sudden, you know, entertaining the guests and you're
over here cowering in the corner.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That's exactly what they want.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Just anticipate the worst thing that they can do, which
is what they've done in the past, and plan a
strategy to combat it. So focus on your own joy.
That's a great one.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
You know, that's huge because you know holidays only come
around once a year. Yes, some people are like, hallelujah,
only once a year, right, But we get to see
people that we don't see every day, we don't see
very often, relatives, people that aren't going to be around forever.
So we don't want to take away from that joy
(07:13):
of being with those people. By this situation, I can
remember the horrible holidays that we would have just because
and when we show this in our videos also of
the way that she would disengage. You go over and
pout about something, and I felt like I had to
go over there and try to make her feel better.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
But I'm taking.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Time away from my parents in my fai that that
that aren't going to be around forever, and so you
know what a horrible thing for me to have to
leave my family to, you know, to.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Pass when she's doing it for clear attention, clear attention,
and you feel.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Obligated if that is how it is.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Anticipate that and let them pout in the other realm.
Don't disengage from your guests who you've invited, who, like
you said, might.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Not be here, might not be here next year, so
you don't want to here the last holiday with these people.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
He ruined my last holiday with my mother, absolutely destroyed it,
and I let him do it so and I regret
that because it was the last Christmas I had.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
With my mom. And she knew it too. Remember how
I remember you told me the story about how upset
she was it ruined her last holiday.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
She was in tears.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
He's absolutely in tears, and she was sick, and so
she knew that she wasn't going to be here that
much longer, and I think it upset her because of
the life that I was in, and she.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Was so upset about that.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So just just know they're in it to upset, they're
in it to destroy. Don't let them, don't let them
pick your joy out and hold onto it.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I can't wait for you all to see these videos.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Oh yeah, gosh, Yes, avoid confrontation. We've talked about that.
Know when to walk away. We also talked about that
if they start picking, they start escalating.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Things, just walk away.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
If they follow you, it's going to be very obvious
that they are trying to ruin the holidays for everyone.
So Gray Rock, ignore, say the mantra in your head.
I'm not going to let them.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Just engage with your guests or or with the people
that you're visiting. Now, just engage, just to ignore the narcissists,
no matter who they are in law, mother in law, house, house,
about whatever, whoever it is. Re engage with the other
people there and just ignore the narcissists.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, just prepare mentally.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Yeah, I am strong, and I deserve peace, and I
deserve joy and happiness, and I deserve to enjoy my holidays.
So those are things that we kind of demonstrate in
this series of videos if you want to tell them.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, absolutely. If you go to our TikTok channel and
I'll put the link in the description below and go
to our playlist, and you'll see surviving the Holidays with
a narcissist in that perfect to be titled. Right, So
we did seven different scenarios where you can see seven
different things going on with narcissists, in laws, spouses, ex spouses,
(10:19):
you know, the whole thing. So you can go through
there and see those seven examples of different types of
things that happened during the holidays and how to deal
with them.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, like you said, the ex spouses, we don't mean
you're inviting an ex spouse to a holiday. What we
mean is your ex may have your children for the
holidays and they're going to try to ruin it for
the children.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
So you have to use some of these tactics.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Even if they're not going to be physically with you,
you know, they're going to try something to ruin the
holidays for the kids or to ruin it for you
wherever you are.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
So we do have videos about that too.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, this is funny. Some of the comments we got
when we first posted these Surviving the Holidays with the
art Worth, Well, why would you invite them? Sometimes you
don't have a choice. In law, Yeah, or you're at
their home, or you've been invited through their home, or
it's it's the spouse's family and there's a narcissist there
that the mother in law, the father law and so,
(11:19):
or you have to invite them into your home and
you know it's going to be difficult, But sometimes you
don't have a choice. And so when you don't have
a choice, that's when these tactics are so valuable because
you know, the last thing that you want to have
happen is to get through the holidays and go He
did it again, ruin it again again.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And ruined everybody else's holiday. Because if they if you
let them completely manipulate the situation, everybody else is going
to be on edge.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It's going to be awkward. They could be crying in
their room, like my mother. They will ruin it for everyone,
and you know what, it won't matter to them.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I know after he destroyed our entire Christmas, the last
one I had with my mom, no one would even eat.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
No, everyone people laugh.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
My mother was crying, his mother was crying, and he
just sat down at and ate the roast beef dinner
in front of the TV like nothing ever happened, and
everyone else was completely destroyed and show.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
And this happened several years in a row.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Yeah, Yeah, the.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Last year was the worst, and I should have known
how to handle I didn't know back then.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
I know now and you know now, So that's why
we're sharing that.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, So please check out that playlist again. Just go
to our TikTok channel put the link below and again
playlist Surviving the Holidays with an ARC. And there's seven
different videos within that, So you just click on that
and then go through the seven videos. And I hope
that what will happen is that one of those will
be like, Aha, that's what I'm gonna do. That's exactly
what I'm gonna do. I know this is going to
(12:54):
happen this year, and this is how I'm going to
handle it. So we hope that these videos really help
save your holidays. Now, a couple other things we want
to talk about real quick that can help you with
these holidays are if you are still in it and
you know it's going to be very very very difficult.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
And you are worried about how to handle it.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, yeah, I would recommend booking a call with Melissa,
and she is just so amazing because she's been through it.
She knows and can really help coach you through and
aren't the holidays worth it? So if the videos don't
do enough and you really feel like I need more strength,
I need more help, I need someone in my corner
during these holidays.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I need to talk about a specific situation that I
know is going to happen.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
You and I could kind.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Of work on stratgy yes, yeah, So what we want
to do is we want to extend our fall special
so that when you book two calls with Melissa, you'll
get your third for free. So when you book two,
you'll just send me an email John at the vtwow
dot com and I'll put that down below also, and
I'll send you the code to book your third call
for free.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
And you could book it whenever you want.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And we do have interest feed free payment options, so
you can book the calls, spread out the payments because
we know sometimes that's difficult during the holidays, but you
can still get the guidance and support that you need.
That can help you through these so you can enjoy
them and your family can enjoy them as well.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Right, so please don't let your narcissists ruin these holidays. Yeah, okay, Now,
what about if someone is out this is their first
holiday season without their narcissist, and they're just they're a
little bit scared, they're struggling their first time, they're kind
of alone in this situation. What would you recommend for
a first one in that situation.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Well, our eight week life Transformation, We've had so many
people go through it, and it is a way to
get you unstuck.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
It's a way to get.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
You moving forward so you can start creating a life
that you love, a life that you dreamed about, a
life that was taken.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Away from you.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And we are offering a holiday special on that so
we know, like we said, you know, sometimes money's tight
during the holiday, so we are offering fifty percent off
that course.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
And it's eight weeks. It's eight weeks. It's chock full
of information, John, and I start your.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
New year having all these tools in place, yes, and
daily action steps to help you with you. So it's
a perfect time to start. Don't wait for the new
year start now, so that when the new year comes,
you are armed with the tools to have the best
year possible and you're living.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Your best life.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You're totally transformed, because sometimes it's very difficult. Once you've
been through something like this, you're brave enough to leave,
but all of the residue that follows, all the triggers,
the nightmares, the anxiety, kind of hangs on you. This
this course will transform your life in just a matter
(15:53):
of weeks instead of years, which took me, took you.
So that's how we came up with this course is
the things that took us forever. We actually condensed it
into daily, actionable steps, very very guided, very methodical. It
actually changes the way your brain thinks about things.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So you will be a warrior at the end of
the eighth week, and we will give you a warrior
shirt that's part of the whole thing. At the end
of the course, we're going to send your warrior sweatshirt
so you can wear it proudly because you will be
a warrior at that time.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
So awesome.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
So I'll put the link for the able Transformation method
in the description below and then just enter holiday fifty.
I'll put that in there too, Holiday fifty to get
fifty percent off, and again there's interest free payment options too.
So if you go go ahead and get started with
this thing, so that when twenty twenty five, I can't
believe I'm saying that twenty twenty twenty five, twenty twenty
(16:49):
five comes around, you are going to be armed with
the tools to make the most of this coming year.
So we're so not alway is it going to help
you with the holidays because the action items that you
get started as the media immediately from day one, you
start learning things that are going to transition your and
transform your life, so you'll be able to enjoy the
holidays better. And then you'll be able to attack twenty
twenty five and make it your best year. So we're
(17:10):
so excited about that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, So thank you for watching, Thank you for following us.
Please subscribe if you haven't, click the like modification.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
By the way, I just want to mention this, we
just went over ten thousand subscribers on this YouTube channel.
Were so yeah, we're so excited about that. For those
of you who are already subscribed, we're so grateful to
you for a small channel like Melissa and I have
Victim to Warrior where we're trying to help as many
people as we can. To have ten thousand subscribers on
(17:43):
YouTube mean so much to us, so we're so grateful.
So if you haven't subscribed yet and you like this information,
please subscribe and give this podcast a thumbs up because
we want so many people to be able to see
it and take advantage of it so they can save
their holidays.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, yes, and put your comments below. We love reading them,
We love hearing from you.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And so I'm so glad you said that. Yeah, please
put your comments there. Two other things, if you have
any questions for us, please email us a questions at
the v twow dot com. Now I'm going to put
that link below also so you can just click on
it and send your questions to us. But questions at
the v twow dot com. And also, if you haven't
(18:25):
seen our website, would love for you to check out
our website. We're so proud of it. It's always just
for free resources on there. Yeah, tons of free resource
sources on there. Vv twow dot com. Uh, and just
click on that and there's all sorts of things for
you to see there as well. And then our link
in bio two on this page victim to Warrior dot bio.
(18:45):
Just click on that and you'll see all those free
your resource resources there as well.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
So thank you for tuning in and we'll see you
on our next episode, podcast six.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Up the porta pot of Dunston a potic dat
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides.  Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer  Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.