March 28, 2025 • 19 mins
Surviving the Holidays with a Narcissist | Warrior Talk Podcast | Victim to Warrior Certified Professional LIfe Coaches and Abuse Survivors, John and Melissa, lead you throught tactics to survive the Holidays with a Narcissist.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What is a narcissist number one goal during the holidays to.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Ruin it for everyone because they're not the center of attention,
and you know how many of you have been there.
So we're going to talk about how to survive the
holidays if a narcissist is in your life.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Welcome to the Victim to Warrior Show.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Warrior Talk, And this is our fifth episode where John
and Melissa and we are survivors of narcissistic abuse and
our mission is to help other survivors reclaim and rebuild
their lives.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
And today's episode we're so excited about because the holidays
are right around the corner, and what is a narcissist
number one goal during the holidays?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
To ruin it for everyone because they're not the center
of attention, and you know how many of you have
been there. So we're going to talk about how to
survive the holidays if a narcissist is in your life.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So we're gonna have Melissa take us through some tactics
to use in exactly how to survive the holidays with
a narcissist. So how are we going to do that?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Bab Well actually wrote them down.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We have an entire video series about how it looks
to be in a narcissistic relationship during the holidays and
how to survive it. We'll tell you where to find
that series, but just here's some practical things you can do.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
You know, you have to plan so when.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You think about what they've done in years previous and
how horrible it was, you've got to kind of be
strategic in how you're going to handle it. So you
need to anticipate pretty much their move so you know.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What you're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh yeah, you do, sadly, you have to set boundaries. Okay,
You've got to be clear and consistent on what you're
going to tolerate and what you're not even if you
have to gray rock them because you know they're going to.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Try to things.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Plan a safe exit strategy and what we mean by
that if things start getting out of control, then if
you're in your own house, just walk out of the room,
go into the other room, take a deep breath. If
you're somewhere else, then I would just suggest that you leave.
If it gets that out of control and it's ruining
(02:22):
everybody else's holiday where you've been invited, then I would
just take the kids, get in the car and leave,
or if you can't do that, just walk outside with them.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Just try to de escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
That create some space.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yes, exactly, stick to a support system.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
What we mean by that is whoever is your friend
in that situation, whether it's at your house or someone else's,
that's the person you're going to go to.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
So you are going to.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Strike up a conversation with that safe person to de
escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Should you let that safe person know, hey, there might
be some fireworks here, Yes, unintentional thing as.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You remember from years pretty much, great, great tip. Definitely
let them know. So if you could just make eye
contact with them, or if they see that you are
in a stressful situation things are getting escalated, they can.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Come to your rescue.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So and you do the same for them. Okay, manage expectations.
We all know a narcissist wants to control the situation.
That is their entire goal, controlling everything. So managing those
expectations means you are aware of what could potentially happen
(03:39):
and you're going to.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Try to plan around it.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
You have to expect that they're going to be up
to their nasty tactics once again this year. So hoping
that they won't do it is going to leave you vulnerable.
So just expect that they will and have a plan
to get around it.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Practice self care.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You know what They stress us out, you know, suck
the life out of us, make us exhaust it. Take
some time for yourself, even if it's just a few moments,
even if you have to excuse yourself.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Go into the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Count to ten, pray whatever meditation right exactly, just to
kind of catch your breath.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Come to the present moment so.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You can proceed without ruining it for everyone, because they
will if you let them. Limit the conversations, like we
said before, if they're going to start picking out the
way you cook something or your decorations. I mean, all
this is coming from my memory what I used to
have to go through, just tearing little things apart before
(04:44):
everyone get to our house. So I'm moving things around,
I'm all stressed. Then he would criticize how I looked.
So I was taking everything that he said to heart,
and I was scurring around, working myself up into a
frenzy when that's exactly what he wanted me to do.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And you were already in a bad place when the
guests show up, you're already stretched out, You're in a
bad place.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They're trying to fake your way through it, but on
the inside you're dying. So take understanding what they're trying
to do and just know that it's going to happen.
Just remember what they're doing. You practice self care, prepare
yourself mentally and physically for it, and remember to even
(05:27):
if you have to chant it to yourself. They're just
trying to work me up. They're just trying to get
me upset. I am not going to let them.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I think this is a perfect opportunity to gray rock.
Oh right, yeah, when this be a great time to
just remember you can't argue with the Rock, So don't engage,
just you know, and if they start picking it stuff
to say, well, this is the way the family likes it,
or this is the way I like it.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Or I'm sorry you don't like it, but everyone else
seems to. Don't engage in an argument with them, and
don't let them tear you down, even if you're struggling
on the inside, keeping that front, taking a deep breath,
walking away, going outside, talking to the safe person.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
All of those things.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Are going to help you de escalate, because if you're
not going to engage with them, it's going to be
pretty obvious that they're trying to destroy everyone's holiday. They
don't like to be the negative center of attention. They
want to be the positive center of attention. But if
that means tearing you down and making you feel horrible,
so they can escalate how they feel and then they're
(06:33):
all of a sudden, you know, entertaining the guests and
you're over here cowering in the corner.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That's exactly what they want.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Just anticipate the worst thing that they can do, which
is what they've done in the past, and plan a
strategy to combat it. So focus on your own joy.
That's a great.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
One, you know, that's huge because you know holidays only
come around once a year. Yes, some people are like, hallelujah,
only once a year, right, But we get to see
people that we don't see every day, we don't see
very often, relatives, people that aren't going to be around forever.
So we don't want to take away from that joy
(07:13):
of being with those people. By this situation, I can
remember the horrible holidays that we would have just because
and when we show this in our videos also of
the way that she would disengage. You go over and
pout about something, and I felt like I had to
go over there and try to make her feel better.
(07:33):
But I'm taking time away from my parents in my
fai that that aren't going to be around forever, and
so you know what a horrible thing for me to
have to leave my family to, you.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Know, to pass when she's doing it for clear attention,
clear attention, and you feel obligated if that is how
it is. Anticipate that and let them pout in the
other realm. Don't disengage from your guests who you've invited, who,
like you said, might not be.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Here, might not be here next year, so you don't
want to up here the last holiday with these people.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
He ruined my last holiday with my mother, absolutely destroyed it,
and I let him do it so and I regret
that because it was the last Christmas I had with.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
My mom and she knew it too. Remember how I
remember you told me the story about how upset she
was it ruined her last holiday.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
She was in tears.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
He's absolutely in tears, and she was sick, and so
she knew that she wasn't going to be here that
much longer, and I think it upset her because of
the life that I was in, and she.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Was so upset about that.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So just just know they're in it to upset, they're
in it to destroy. Don't let them. Don't let them
pick your joy out and hold onto it.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I can't wait for you all to see these videos.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Oh yeah, gosh, Yes, avoid confrontation. We've talked about that.
Know when to walk away. We also talked about that
if they start picking, they start escalating.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Things, just walk away.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
If they follow you, it's going to be very obvious
that they are trying to ruin the holidays for everyone.
So Gray Rock, ignore, say the mantra in your head.
I'm not going to let them.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Just engage with your guests or or with the people
that you're visiting. Now, just engage, just to ignore the narcissists,
no matter who they are in law, mother in law, spouse, house,
about whatever, whoever it is. Re engage with the other
people there and just ignore the narcissists.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, just prepare mentally.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I am strong, and I deserve peace, and I deserve
joy and happiness, and I deserve to enjoy my holidays.
So those are things that we kind of demonstrate in
this series of videos if you want to tell.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Them, Yeah, absolutely, if you. We go to our TikTok
channel and I'll put the link in the description below
and go to our playlist, and you'll see surviving the
Holidays with a narcissist in that perfect to be titled. Right,
So we did seven different scenarios where you can see
seven different things going on with narcissists, in laws, spouses,
(10:18):
ex spouses, you know, the whole thing. So you can
go through there and see those seven examples of different
types of things that happened during the holidays and how
to deal with them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, like you said, the ex spouses, we don't mean
you're inviting an ex spouse to a holiday. What we
mean is your ex may have your children for the
holidays and they're going to try to ruin it for
the children.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
So you have to use some of these tactics.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Even if they're not going to be physically with you,
you know, they're going to try something to ruin the
holidays for the kids or to ruin it for you
wherever you are.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
So we do have videos about that too.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, this is funny. Some of the comments we got
when we first posted these Surviving the Holidays with an
art Worth, Well, why would you invite them? Sometimes you
don't have a choice. In law, yeah, or you're at
their home, or you've been invited through their home, or
it's it's the spouse's family and and there's a narcissist
there that the mother in law, the father law and so,
(11:19):
or you have to invite them into your home and
you know it's going to be difficult, But sometimes you
don't have a choice. And so when you don't have
a choice, that's when these tactics are so valuable, because
you know, the last thing that you want to have
happen is to get through the holidays and go He
did it again, ruin it again again.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And ruined everybody else's holiday. Because if they if you
let them completely manipulate the situation, everybody else is going
to be on edge.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It's going to be awkward. They could be crying in
their room like my mother.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
They will ruin it for everyone, and you know what,
it won't matter to them. I know after he destroyed
our entire Christmas, the last one I had with my mom,
no one would even eat, No, everyone people laugh.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
My mother was crying.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
His mother was crying, and he just sat down at
and ate the roast beef dinner in front of the
TV like nothing ever happened, and everyone else was completely destroyed.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And this happened several years in a row. Ran.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah, the last year was the worst, and I should
have known how to handle I didn't know back then.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
I know now and you know now, So that's why
we're sharing that.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, So please check out that playlist again. Just go
to our TikTok channel put the link below and again
playlist Surviving the Holidays with an ARC. And there's seven
different videos within that. So you just click on that
and then go through the seven videos. And I hope
that what will happen is that one of those will
be like, Aha, that's what I'm gonna do. That's exactly
what I'm gonna do. I know this is going to
(12:54):
happen this year, and this is how I'm going to
handle it. So we hope that these videos really help
save your holidays. Now, a couple other things we want
to talk about real quick that can help you with
these holidays are if you are still in it and
you know it's going to be very, very very difficult and.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
You are worried about how to handle it.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, yeah, I would recommend booking a call with Melissa,
and she is just so amazing because she's been through it.
She knows and can really help coach you through and
aren't the holidays worth it? So if the videos don't
do enough and you really feel like I need more strength,
I need more help, I need someone in my corner
during these holidays.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I need to talk about a specific situation that I
know is going to happen.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
You and I could kind of.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Work on stratgy yes, yeah, So what we want to
do is we want to extend our fall special so
that when you book two calls with Melissa, you'll get
your third for free. So when you book two, you'll
just send me an email John at the vtwow dot
com and I'll put that down below also, and I'll
send you the code to book your third call for free.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
And you could book it whenever you want.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And we do have interest feed free payment options, so
you can book the calls, spread out.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
The payments because we know sometimes that's difficult during the.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Holidays, but you can still get the guidance and support
that you need that can help you through these so
you can enjoy them and your family can enjoy them
as well.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Right, so please don't let your narcissists ruin these holidays. Yeah, okay, Now,
what about if someone is out this is their first
holiday season without their narcissist, and they're just they're a
little bit scared, they're struggling their first time, they're kind
of alone in this situation. What would you recommend for
a first someone in that situation.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Well, our eight week life Transformation, We've had so many
people go through it, and it is a way to
get you unstuck. It's a way to get you moving
forward so you can start creating a life that you love,
a life that you dreamed about, a life that was taken.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Away from you.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And we are offering a holiday special on that so
we know, like we said, you know, sometimes money's tight
during the holiday, so we are offering fifty percent off
that course.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
And it's eight weeks. It's eight weeks. It's chock full
of information, John, and I.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Wait to start your new year having all these tools
in place, yes, and daily action steps to help you
with you. So it's a perfect time to start. Don't
wait for the new year. Start now, so that when
the new year comes, you are armed with the tools
to have the best year possible and you're living.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Your best life.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You're totally transformed, because sometimes it's very difficult. Once you've
been through something like this, you're brave enough to leave,
but all of the residue that follows, all the triggers,
the nightmares, the anxiety.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Kind of hangs on you.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
This this course will transform your life in just a
matter of weeks instead of years, which took me, took you.
So that's how we came up with this course is
the things that took us forever. We actually condensed it
into daily, actionable steps, very very guided, very methodical.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
It actually changes the way your brain thinks about things.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So you will be a warrior at the end of
the eight week and we will give you a warrior shirt.
That's part of the whole thing. At the end of
the course, we're going to send your warrior sweatshirt so
you can wear it proudly because you will be a
warrior at that time. So awesome. So I'll put the
link for the a week transformation method in the description
(16:32):
below and then just enter holiday fifty. I'll put that
in there too, Holiday fifty to get fifty percent off,
and again there's interest free payment options too. So if
you go go ahead and get started with this thing,
so that when twenty twenty five, I can't believe I'm
saying that twenty twenty twenty five, twenty twenty five comes around,
you are going to be armed with the tools to
(16:53):
make the most of this coming year. So we're so
not on way is it going to help you with
the holidays because the action items that you get started
as the media immediately from day one, you start learning
things that are going to transition your and transform your life,
so you'll be able to enjoy the holidays better. And
then you'll be able to attack twenty twenty five and
make it your best year. So we're so excited about that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, So thank you for watching, Thank you for following us.
Please subscribe if you haven't, click the like modification.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
By the way, I just want to mention this, we
just went over ten thousand subscribers on this YouTube channel.
Were so yeah, we're so excited about that. For those
of you who are already subscribed, we're so grateful to
you for a small channel like Melissa and I have
Victim to Warrior where we're trying to help as many
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(17:43):
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So if you haven't subscribed yet and you like this information,
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it and take advantage of it so they can save
their holidays.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, yes, and put your comments below. We love reading them,
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Speaker 1 (18:05):
And so I'm so glad you said that. Yeah, please
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(18:26):
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(18:48):
resources there as well.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
So thank you for tuning in and we'll see you
on our next episode, podcast six.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
The Span the Potic p of NSP a potic dat
What is a narcissist number one goal during the holidays to.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Ruin it for everyone because they're not the center of attention,
and you know how many of you have been there.
So we're going to talk about how to survive the
holidays if a narcissist is in your life.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Welcome to the Victim to Warrior Show.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Warrior Talk, And this is our fifth episode where John
and Melissa and we are survivors of narcissistic abuse and
our mission is to help other survivors reclaim and rebuild
their lives.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
And today's episode we're so excited about because the holidays
are right around the corner, and what is a narcissist
number one goal during the holidays?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
To ruin it for everyone because they're not the center
of attention, and you know how many of you have
been there. So we're going to talk about how to
survive the holidays if a narcissist is in your life.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
So we're gonna have Melissa take us through some tactics
to use in exactly how to survive the holidays with
a narcissist. So how are we going to do that?
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Bab Well actually wrote them down.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We have an entire video series about how it looks
to be in a narcissistic relationship during the holidays and
how to survive it. We'll tell you where to find
that series, but just here's some practical things you can do.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
You know, you have to plan so when.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
You think about what they've done in years previous and
how horrible it was, you've got to kind of be
strategic in how you're going to handle it. So you
need to anticipate pretty much their move so you know.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
What you're dealing with.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh yeah, you do, sadly, you have to set boundaries. Okay,
You've got to be clear and consistent on what you're
going to tolerate and what you're not even if you
have to gray rock them because you know they're going to.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Try to things.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Plan a safe exit strategy and what we mean by
that if things start getting out of control, then if
you're in your own house, just walk out of the room,
go into the other room, take a deep breath. If
you're somewhere else, then I would just suggest that you leave.
If it gets that out of control and it's ruining
(02:22):
everybody else's holiday where you've been invited, then I would
just take the kids, get in the car and leave,
or if you can't do that, just walk outside with them.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Just try to de escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
That create some space.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yes, exactly, stick to a support system.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
What we mean by that is whoever is your friend
in that situation, whether it's at your house or someone else's,
that's the person you're going to go to.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
So you are going to.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Strike up a conversation with that safe person to de
escalate the situation.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Should you let that safe person know, hey, there might
be some fireworks here, Yes, unintentional thing as.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
You remember from years pretty much, great, great tip. Definitely
let them know. So if you could just make eye
contact with them, or if they see that you are
in a stressful situation things are getting escalated, they can.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Come to your rescue.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
So and you do the same for them. Okay, manage expectations.
We all know a narcissist wants to control the situation.
That is their entire goal, controlling everything. So managing those
expectations means you are aware of what could potentially happen
(03:39):
and you're going to.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Try to plan around it.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
You have to expect that they're going to be up
to their nasty tactics once again this year. So hoping
that they won't do it is going to leave you vulnerable.
So just expect that they will and have a plan
to get around it.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Practice self care.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You know what They stress us out, you know, suck
the life out of us, make us exhaust it. Take
some time for yourself, even if it's just a few moments,
even if you have to excuse yourself.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
Go into the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Count to ten, pray whatever meditation right exactly, just to
kind of catch your breath.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Come to the present moment so.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
You can proceed without ruining it for everyone, because they
will if you let them. Limit the conversations, like we
said before, if they're going to start picking out the
way you cook something or your decorations. I mean, all
this is coming from my memory what I used to
have to go through, just tearing little things apart before
(04:44):
everyone get to our house. So I'm moving things around,
I'm all stressed. Then he would criticize how I looked.
So I was taking everything that he said to heart,
and I was scurring around, working myself up into a
frenzy when that's exactly what he wanted me to do.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
And you were already in a bad place when the
guests show up, you're already stretched out, You're in a
bad place.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
They're trying to fake your way through it, but on
the inside you're dying. So take understanding what they're trying
to do and just know that it's going to happen.
Just remember what they're doing. You practice self care, prepare
yourself mentally and physically for it, and remember to even
(05:27):
if you have to chant it to yourself. They're just
trying to work me up. They're just trying to get
me upset. I am not going to let them.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, I think this is a perfect opportunity to gray rock.
Oh right, yeah, when this be a great time to
just remember you can't argue with the Rock, So don't engage,
just you know, and if they start picking it stuff
to say, well, this is the way the family likes it,
or this is the way I like it.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Or I'm sorry you don't like it, but everyone else
seems to. Don't engage in an argument with them, and
don't let them tear you down, even if you're struggling
on the inside, keeping that front, taking a deep breath,
walking away, going outside, talking to the safe person.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
All of those things.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Are going to help you de escalate, because if you're
not going to engage with them, it's going to be
pretty obvious that they're trying to destroy everyone's holiday. They
don't like to be the negative center of attention. They
want to be the positive center of attention. But if
that means tearing you down and making you feel horrible,
so they can escalate how they feel and then they're
(06:33):
all of a sudden, you know, entertaining the guests and
you're over here cowering in the corner.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That's exactly what they want.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Just anticipate the worst thing that they can do, which
is what they've done in the past, and plan a
strategy to combat it. So focus on your own joy.
That's a great.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
One, you know, that's huge because you know holidays only
come around once a year. Yes, some people are like, hallelujah,
only once a year, right, But we get to see
people that we don't see every day, we don't see
very often, relatives, people that aren't going to be around forever.
So we don't want to take away from that joy
(07:13):
of being with those people. By this situation, I can
remember the horrible holidays that we would have just because
and when we show this in our videos also of
the way that she would disengage. You go over and
pout about something, and I felt like I had to
go over there and try to make her feel better.
(07:33):
But I'm taking time away from my parents in my
fai that that aren't going to be around forever, and
so you know what a horrible thing for me to
have to leave my family to, you.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Know, to pass when she's doing it for clear attention,
clear attention, and you feel obligated if that is how
it is. Anticipate that and let them pout in the
other realm. Don't disengage from your guests who you've invited, who,
like you said, might not be.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Here, might not be here next year, so you don't
want to up here the last holiday with these people.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
He ruined my last holiday with my mother, absolutely destroyed it,
and I let him do it so and I regret
that because it was the last Christmas I had with.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
My mom and she knew it too. Remember how I
remember you told me the story about how upset she
was it ruined her last holiday.
Speaker 3 (08:28):
She was in tears.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
He's absolutely in tears, and she was sick, and so
she knew that she wasn't going to be here that
much longer, and I think it upset her because of
the life that I was in, and she.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Was so upset about that.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
So just just know they're in it to upset, they're
in it to destroy. Don't let them. Don't let them
pick your joy out and hold onto it.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I can't wait for you all to see these videos.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Oh yeah, gosh, Yes, avoid confrontation. We've talked about that.
Know when to walk away. We also talked about that
if they start picking, they start escalating.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Things, just walk away.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
If they follow you, it's going to be very obvious
that they are trying to ruin the holidays for everyone.
So Gray Rock, ignore, say the mantra in your head.
I'm not going to let them.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Just engage with your guests or or with the people
that you're visiting. Now, just engage, just to ignore the narcissists,
no matter who they are in law, mother in law, spouse, house,
about whatever, whoever it is. Re engage with the other
people there and just ignore the narcissists.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Yeah, just prepare mentally.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I am strong, and I deserve peace, and I deserve
joy and happiness, and I deserve to enjoy my holidays.
So those are things that we kind of demonstrate in
this series of videos if you want to tell.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Them, Yeah, absolutely, if you. We go to our TikTok
channel and I'll put the link in the description below
and go to our playlist, and you'll see surviving the
Holidays with a narcissist in that perfect to be titled. Right,
So we did seven different scenarios where you can see
seven different things going on with narcissists, in laws, spouses,
(10:18):
ex spouses, you know, the whole thing. So you can
go through there and see those seven examples of different
types of things that happened during the holidays and how
to deal with them. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Yeah, like you said, the ex spouses, we don't mean
you're inviting an ex spouse to a holiday. What we
mean is your ex may have your children for the
holidays and they're going to try to ruin it for
the children.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
So you have to use some of these tactics.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Even if they're not going to be physically with you,
you know, they're going to try something to ruin the
holidays for the kids or to ruin it for you
wherever you are.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
So we do have videos about that too.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Yeah, this is funny. Some of the comments we got
when we first posted these Surviving the Holidays with an
art Worth, Well, why would you invite them? Sometimes you
don't have a choice. In law, yeah, or you're at
their home, or you've been invited through their home, or
it's it's the spouse's family and and there's a narcissist
there that the mother in law, the father law and so,
(11:19):
or you have to invite them into your home and
you know it's going to be difficult, But sometimes you
don't have a choice. And so when you don't have
a choice, that's when these tactics are so valuable, because
you know, the last thing that you want to have
happen is to get through the holidays and go He
did it again, ruin it again again.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And ruined everybody else's holiday. Because if they if you
let them completely manipulate the situation, everybody else is going
to be on edge.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
It's going to be awkward. They could be crying in
their room like my mother.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
They will ruin it for everyone, and you know what,
it won't matter to them. I know after he destroyed
our entire Christmas, the last one I had with my mom,
no one would even eat, No, everyone people laugh.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
My mother was crying.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
His mother was crying, and he just sat down at
and ate the roast beef dinner in front of the
TV like nothing ever happened, and everyone else was completely destroyed.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And this happened several years in a row. Ran.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah, the last year was the worst, and I should
have known how to handle I didn't know back then.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
I know now and you know now, So that's why
we're sharing that.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Yeah, So please check out that playlist again. Just go
to our TikTok channel put the link below and again
playlist Surviving the Holidays with an ARC. And there's seven
different videos within that. So you just click on that
and then go through the seven videos. And I hope
that what will happen is that one of those will
be like, Aha, that's what I'm gonna do. That's exactly
what I'm gonna do. I know this is going to
(12:54):
happen this year, and this is how I'm going to
handle it. So we hope that these videos really help
save your holidays. Now, a couple other things we want
to talk about real quick that can help you with
these holidays are if you are still in it and
you know it's going to be very, very very difficult and.
Speaker 3 (13:12):
You are worried about how to handle it.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, yeah, I would recommend booking a call with Melissa,
and she is just so amazing because she's been through it.
She knows and can really help coach you through and
aren't the holidays worth it? So if the videos don't
do enough and you really feel like I need more strength,
I need more help, I need someone in my corner
during these holidays.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I need to talk about a specific situation that I
know is going to happen.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
You and I could kind of.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Work on stratgy yes, yeah, So what we want to
do is we want to extend our fall special so
that when you book two calls with Melissa, you'll get
your third for free. So when you book two, you'll
just send me an email John at the vtwow dot
com and I'll put that down below also, and I'll
send you the code to book your third call for free.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
And you could book it whenever you want.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
And we do have interest feed free payment options, so
you can book the calls, spread out.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
The payments because we know sometimes that's difficult during the.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Holidays, but you can still get the guidance and support
that you need that can help you through these so
you can enjoy them and your family can enjoy them
as well.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Right, so please don't let your narcissists ruin these holidays. Yeah, okay, Now,
what about if someone is out this is their first
holiday season without their narcissist, and they're just they're a
little bit scared, they're struggling their first time, they're kind
of alone in this situation. What would you recommend for
a first someone in that situation.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Well, our eight week life Transformation, We've had so many
people go through it, and it is a way to
get you unstuck. It's a way to get you moving
forward so you can start creating a life that you love,
a life that you dreamed about, a life that was taken.
Speaker 3 (14:58):
Away from you.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And we are offering a holiday special on that so
we know, like we said, you know, sometimes money's tight
during the holiday, so we are offering fifty percent off
that course.
Speaker 3 (15:09):
And it's eight weeks. It's eight weeks. It's chock full
of information, John, and I.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Wait to start your new year having all these tools
in place, yes, and daily action steps to help you
with you. So it's a perfect time to start. Don't
wait for the new year. Start now, so that when
the new year comes, you are armed with the tools
to have the best year possible and you're living.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Your best life.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
You're totally transformed, because sometimes it's very difficult. Once you've
been through something like this, you're brave enough to leave,
but all of the residue that follows, all the triggers,
the nightmares, the anxiety.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Kind of hangs on you.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
This this course will transform your life in just a
matter of weeks instead of years, which took me, took you.
So that's how we came up with this course is
the things that took us forever. We actually condensed it
into daily, actionable steps, very very guided, very methodical.
Speaker 3 (16:08):
It actually changes the way your brain thinks about things.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
So you will be a warrior at the end of
the eight week and we will give you a warrior shirt.
That's part of the whole thing. At the end of
the course, we're going to send your warrior sweatshirt so
you can wear it proudly because you will be a
warrior at that time. So awesome. So I'll put the
link for the a week transformation method in the description
(16:32):
below and then just enter holiday fifty. I'll put that
in there too, Holiday fifty to get fifty percent off,
and again there's interest free payment options too. So if
you go go ahead and get started with this thing,
so that when twenty twenty five, I can't believe I'm
saying that twenty twenty twenty five, twenty twenty five comes around,
you are going to be armed with the tools to
(16:53):
make the most of this coming year. So we're so
not on way is it going to help you with
the holidays because the action items that you get started
as the media immediately from day one, you start learning
things that are going to transition your and transform your life,
so you'll be able to enjoy the holidays better. And
then you'll be able to attack twenty twenty five and
make it your best year. So we're so excited about that.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, So thank you for watching, Thank you for following us.
Please subscribe if you haven't, click the like modification.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
By the way, I just want to mention this, we
just went over ten thousand subscribers on this YouTube channel.
Were so yeah, we're so excited about that. For those
of you who are already subscribed, we're so grateful to
you for a small channel like Melissa and I have
Victim to Warrior where we're trying to help as many
people as we can. To have ten thousand subscribers on
(17:43):
YouTube mean so much to us, so we're so grateful.
So if you haven't subscribed yet and you like this information,
please subscribe and give this podcast a thumbs up because
we want so many people to be able to see
it and take advantage of it so they can save
their holidays.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, yes, and put your comments below. We love reading them,
we love hearing from you.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And so I'm so glad you said that. Yeah, please
put your comments there. Two other things, if you have
any questions for us, please email us questions at the
v twow dot com. Now I'm gonna put that link
below also so you can just click on it and
send your questions to us. But questions at the v
twow dot com. And also, if you haven't seen our website,
(18:26):
would love for you to check out our website. We're
so proud of it. It's always just for free resources
on there. Yeah, tons of free resource sources on there.
Vv twow dot com. Uh, and just click on that
and there's all sorts of things for you to see
there as well. And then our link in bio two
on this page victim to Warrior dot bio. Just click
on that and you'll see all those free your resource
(18:48):
resources there as well.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
So thank you for tuning in and we'll see you
on our next episode, podcast six.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
The Span the Potic p of NSP a potic dat
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