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April 14, 2020 20 mins

A chef at a small-town restaurant talks about keeping his business afloat, coming to terms with a new kind of solitude, and how he uses cooking to stay connected to the outside world.

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Speaker 1 (00:07):
I'm Danny Shapiro, and this is the way we live now.
Today is day number thirty five, since many of us
have gotten a memo about social distancing and staying at home,
and day number one of this podcast. Before I introduced
today's guest, let me introduce the show. Like all of us,

(00:29):
my life changed on marchall levens. That's the date, it
seems the global pandemic became inescapably real for most Americans.
The trifecta of President Trump's travel ban, the canceling of
the NBA season, and the news that Tom Hanks and
Rita Wilson had contracted COVID nineteen all happened within a

(00:50):
crazy couple of hours. I was home alone with my
dog in rural Connecticut. My son, who's a college sophomore,
was in London for the semester, and my husband, a
recent cancer survivor, was in Los Angeles directing a film.
Within days, we were all home, maintaining social distance, even

(01:11):
from each other, self quarantined movies, semesters, abroad, plans travel
suddenly put on indefinite hold. Thirty five days later, this
is the way we live now. I imagine that we
all have an emblematic moment in which we felt in
our bones that life was suddenly different, unrecognizable. Mine happened

(01:36):
at a bakery. I drove to our local small bakery
to buy a loaf of bread. When I parked my
car and went inside, the shelves were empty. Two loaves.
Fresh loaves were on the counter and wrapped to go.
I'll take one of those, please, I asked the young
woman behind the counter. We're out of bread. She said,

(01:57):
you're out of bread. I was disp leaving. I turned
around and walked out. Another car pulled into the small
parking lot. I recognized the woman who got out. Our
kids have been friends when they were little. They're out
of bread. I told her. Oh, I called, and they're
saving two lows for me. She answered. Both of us

(02:17):
kept moving. I drove home empty handed and shaken. Today
day and day number one, I'm joined by Surge Medicians.
Surge is a chef and owner of the restaurant Sara Van,

(02:39):
a small, cozy, elegant restaurant he's owned since two thousand
and four that's housed in a building built in the
late eighteen eighties in the hamlet of Amnia, New York. Surge.
Welcome to the way we live now. Thank you so much.
Tell me where are you out? Like, where where are

(03:01):
you right now? Invite us into your world and describe
it a little bit for us. Yeah, I am at
my writing computer which I use for writing and editing
my photos, and also the computer that I have photoshop on,
and I am working on our menu that is for

(03:22):
to go, as you know, and doing updating the menu
for the weekend based on the deliveries that we got
yesterday and today. I should mention that you're a photographer,
wonderful photographer as well as a pilot. For years, I've
enjoyed your Instagram, in which you take photographs often from
the air, also of beloved Amnia, New York. And I

(03:47):
noticed just last night on your Instagram that there was
this post. It was a very moody post shot through
a window with rain droplets on it of the property
around Ara Van. That's right. I'm wondering what it feels
like to be in the empty restaurant. I came by

(04:07):
a week or so ago to pick up some delicious
takeout food from you, and I was so struck by
you know, the bar that's usually so lively and the
tables that are fills with diners and the place being empty.
But for you in the kitchen cooking, Um, what's what's
that been like for you? You know, I think for

(04:28):
all of us, maybe particularly for single people, the sense
of solitude is magnified. I mean, I've been single for
a long time now and I'm comfortable with my solitude,
but I've never felt alone. And this sense of solitude

(04:49):
where you are within the confines of the property Saravan,
because I live above, it has sort of magnified that
loneliness that never bothered me, but it bothers me so
and I became aware of it very early, maybe about
three weeks ago. And because I'm a natural extrovert. But

(05:15):
the act of cooking, the act of being in the kitchen,
and given the circumstances, I should say, the privilege of
being able to cook and continue to cook, is a
perfect antitude to that sense of loneliness. And that sense

(05:37):
of loneliness comes because there is such limited human interaction.
My life now very limited. So I'm able to counteract
that and focus that my connection right now with the
outside world is through what I do in the kitchen,

(05:58):
and that has changed the way I cook. You know,
before creativity and a sense of expression were very important,
but now superseding that is a sense of nourishment. Two

(06:20):
know that this food is going out to not impress,
to not say wow, but to nourish the body, to
nourish soul. And that has impacted my disposition, my everyday
disposition in the kitchen because you know, generally, as a

(06:44):
chef owner of a restaurant, I want my food to
leave an impression, to be remembered. That is not what
is important now. That's so beautiful, surge. And it's also
what you're really talking about is that ego has been
taken out of it in some way, the artistic ego

(07:05):
of whether it's a chef, for a writer or an
artist of any kind. That this crisis just explodes that
because it just becomes about us all being in this together.
And it also sounds like a result of that could
be that it also counter balances or counteracts that loneliness
that you were talking about, because when you're in the

(07:28):
kitchen cooking and you know that your food is being
picked up by people and brought to their homes and
being eaten, and and people are being nourished. That is
a form of connection. You know, I'm a I'm a
natural extrovert, natural extroverts, so I need outside stimuli to

(07:50):
to get me going. And I love interacting with people.
So the fact that I have not had that regular
human interaction has has sort of uh, you know, I
don't feel lonely most of the time, but I do now.

(08:14):
You know, you said how is your day? In response
to that, I'm aware of my solitude much more vicariously.
I'm connecting with everybody that I know through the food
that I prepare. And that food, as I said, you know,
it's intention is not to impress any longer. It's intuition.

(08:37):
Intention is to convey affection, to convey love, to convey comfort.
What are you cooking today? I have in the oven
right now as we speak, lamb shanks for the weekend.
And when I go down, I pilled a bunch of carrots.

(08:58):
When I go back in the kitchen, I will be
I sink the carrots because they'll be served with carrots
and Iranian styles matya, rice and teas and dill. They'll
be ready by four o'clock today, so they'll be on
our menu today along with salmon that we got and
trout and some of the other Armenian dishes. You know,

(09:21):
that's another thing. You know, the comfort food for me
as a child that my mother would make, I seem
to have gravitated towards them. And one of my favorite
childhood dishes is dolma. And I have thought about how

(09:43):
much love and affection my mother had for us. And
I don't mean to be funny in this situation, but
dolma is a lot of work make dolma. So my mom,
you know, there was five of us as six other mouths,
there were seven in our family, and we always request

(10:03):
the dolma. And now that I'm alone and I make
the dolma, I think about my mother and I'm so
aware of the patients and the affection and the love
that she had for us because of the number of
times she rolled the dolma pots of it to have

(10:26):
for us. You know, it's it's actually making me sad
as I as I recall this memory. And you know
that my Armenian teacher in Armenia, his grandmother rolled dolma
for me. So I made a video and sent him.
I said, you have to, you know, kiss Grandma because

(10:47):
it's a lot of work to do. Dolma. Could you
describe Dolma for us? Dolma is ground beef. That is uh,
you know, it's it's a name that we use in
for the Armenian is generally stuffed great leaves or stuffed
vegetables or um stuffed cabbage. And the stuffed cabbage and

(11:11):
the green leaves they take great leaves they take longer
because there's a lot many there's many of them, and
you have to roll them carefully so they don't fall apart.
And it's ground beef, and the ground beef from willow
Brook Farm up in Millerton, Um and you have to

(11:32):
braise it very gently and you have to season it appropriately.
But I think the awakening of the understanding that, oh
my god, there's so much love in this dish is
because of the time it takes to roll each individual one.
And so in the past, when you would be making
the menus for your full bustling restaurant full of people

(11:56):
and you know, making reservations and coming in for inner,
Dolma wasn't on the menu. Dolma wasn't on the menu
because of you know, technically, it's a difficult dish to
do well. And uh, technically it's a difficult dish to
pick up. But because we're not doing our regular menu,

(12:17):
and because I want to share this with people, I've
overlooked the difficulty. You know, we're we you know now,
we're not a restaurant where dishes need to go out
every five minutes, every two minutes. You know, we time
the pickups so I'm able to heat them properly and

(12:41):
execute them properly, which when you're a very busy restaurant
and Dolma is not your line, your kitchen is not
set up for Dolma, it becomes very complicated to do.
But this is one of the interesting things that has happened.
I continually think about, oh, when and if we begin operation,

(13:07):
I will slowly change and introduce a lot of this
dishes that we do during takeoffs that have become really popular,
such as our Housemate pasta as well or the jingle
of arts, the armenian Um, a flat bread that's filled
with herbs. So that's the silver lining in this and

(13:30):
learning how to adapt. Speaking of adapting, I think people
would be very curious to know. You know, so much
has been written about small businesses and restaurants in particular,
and you know the restaurant industry doing take out. Are
you able to, for a long period of time sustain
the restaurant in that way so that when we are

(13:53):
on the other side of this, your doors can swing
open again and we can gather again. Yeah, that's a
very very very good question, Danny, And I'm not sure
if I know the answer to it. I do know
nothing will be the same, at least for the foreseeable future.
And when I say foreseeable future, two thousand and twenty

(14:16):
one or two two. But I consider myself very, very lucky,
and I am deeply, deeply grateful that I do get
the chance to continue cooking which take out. This is
not a time to think of profits. This is not
a time to think of making money. This is a

(14:39):
time to keep your head. I keep telling myself, reminding
myself that this is the time to keep myself above
water and some of my staff above water, so we
don't sink in take out keeps us alive. And I
think sustain is a good word. It's say, stains us

(15:01):
how much longer? I'm not sure, dear Danny. I'm not
sure where we will be next week. I mean, so far,
it seems that every day things are changing and we
are adapting to new norms. Know now, in the kitchen,

(15:21):
in the restaurant, we all have masks. Everyone who walks
into the restaurant who work sanitizes himself or herself before
they begin work, you know. And you you picked up
last week, so you saw that. We try to keep
the distance and have food ready and minimize the level

(15:45):
of contact with everyone. I'm not sure how long we
will sustain ourselves this way, but I'm not worried about that. Honestly,
I'm not worried about that right now because today is
really all I have, and today we are perfectly fine,
and that's what I have to focus on. Yeah, you know, Serge,

(16:08):
It's it's so edifying, isn't it. There's something about crisis
that just absolutely thrusts us into the present moment because
there's an awareness that it's the only moment we have.
So I I want to just end by asking you
what's bringing you solace? I mean, I think in a

(16:28):
way you've answered that because your extraordinary generosity as a
chef and as a restaurant owner. And you know, I'm
thinking as we're speaking of an evening a couple of
years ago, when um, my husband and son and I
walked into your restaurant and my father in law had
just died that day and we were in that state

(16:53):
of being completely bereft and grief stricken and shocked. It
was very sudden, and you fed us. You just set
us and you kept bringing food to the table and
there was no check, you wouldn't accept payment for it.
And it was this sense of being loved and cared
for and nourished. And that is something that you're doing

(17:15):
today and in these you know, these weeks and months,
for the community around you, for friends and strangers. I
don't want to answer the question for you, but is
that a big part of what brings you solace? That
that is a way that brings me solace. I'm an Armenian,
you know, I lived my life with my emotions. UM,

(17:37):
so that you, Jacob and Michael that day is that
that's what we do to each other, that we we
help each other as human beings, especially in times of need.
You know, I find solace in thinking about my grandparents.
I think solace about what my father went through when

(18:00):
we had to leave Iran and he had to stay behind,
and I never saw him again. Life throws us a
lot of curveballs. The important thing is how we respond.
And in one of your books, and I've told you
this many times, and I've texted you. In one of

(18:22):
your books, you said, I write so that I understand better.
So I write to understand better. I play a couple
of the pieces that I know on the piano because
those I have the piano, not because I played regularly,
Because I go to it in times of difficulty. I'm

(18:46):
able to let out a lot of my emotions to
understand which ones are the important ones and decipher how
to respond, you know. And these times have not settled
yet for us. They're still changing. I just pray that

(19:08):
I'm awake and I respond properly. Sirche. That is beautiful,
and I thank you so much for sharing a glimpse
of your inner world and your outer world with us.
I'm very grateful. I'm very grateful that you've reached out
to me, Danny. It's always a pleasure. Thank you, Thank you.

(19:29):
That was a wonderful search. Thanks for listening to today's
episode of the Way We Live Now. Have a question
or want to share what your life is like today.
Join The Way We Live Now is Facebook group at
Facebook dot com slash groups slash the Way We Live

(19:49):
Now pot that's all one word, or leave us a
voice message at nine O nine three eight nine that's
nine O nine seven one three t w w L
for the Way We Live. You can also follow me
on Instagram at Danny Rider. The Way We Live Now

(20:09):
is a production of iHeart Radio. It's produced by Lowe Brolante.
Our executive producer is beth Anne Macaluso. Special thanks to
Tyler Klang and Tristan McNeil. Be safe out there. For
more productions from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app,
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