Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, y'all, it's doctor Joy, host of the Therapy for
Black Girls podcast. Traveling and seeing new parts of the
world can do a lot for your mental well being,
but traveling alone can also reveal parts of yourself that
you might not have known were in you. It pushes
you out of your comfort zone, teaches you to trust
your instincts, and allows you to truly answer the question
(00:27):
what do I want. In this final installment of our
travel mini series, brought to you by Chase Fire Reserve,
we're discussing how exploring the world's solo can transform the
way you see yourself. So when I think about solo travel,
(00:54):
I often think about our guests from session to eighty
eight of the podcast, Jessica Nabano, who is the author
of the beautiful book Catch Me if You Can and
has traveled all around the world. We talked about setting
intentions for travel, because I think sometimes we think about
travel and we're like, oh, Okay, I can go to this place,
I can go to that place. But how often are
(01:15):
we intentional about what we want to do and how
we want to feel when we travel. I talked recently
about my experience of going to Unrivaled in Miami for
their inaugural season at the beginning of this year, and
it was the first solo trip I had taken that
was purely pleasure. Like I often travel solo for speaking
(01:35):
engagements and like work stuff, that was the first time
I had actually traveled by myself purely for pleasure, for
fun things, and so I think that solo travel is
one of the best ways to actually increase confidence. It
is why one of the only regrets I think I
have about undergrad is that I did not study abroad,
(01:56):
because I think that study abroad and solo travel, especially
when you are younger in your life, really sets you
up for just seeing the world in a very different
way and also being connected to yourself and your confidence
and your strength in a very different way. And so
I think that there are very few other ways that
you can gain the kind of confidence you can that
(02:19):
you can do when you are traveling solo. And it
doesn't have to be far, right, like I just went
to Miami, so it wasn't a huge trip. But I
think any amount of time where you are navigating the
world by yourself, especially if it's not something that you do,
often really forces you to step out of your comfort zone.
It forces you to maybe talk to strangers, It forces
(02:42):
you to get comfortable maybe with getting lost or doing
things that you wouldn't typically do. And I think that
it is in those moments the little pieces of yourself
that you didn't know existed are revealing themselves to you.
I also think it just makes you feel proud of yourself,
especially if it feels like something that's really uncomfortable for
(03:03):
you and you're like, I don't know, I wouldn't typically
do this, but then you do it, and so that
really goes a long way, I think in setting the
groundwork for understanding and being clear about your ability to
do hard things and that you are okay on the
other side of it. And so I see solo travel
(03:23):
as just an excellent way for you to increase your
confidence and to gain competency and trust in yourself. Now,
I know, especially when we're talking about traveling to other countries,
but really even in the country, there are lots of
concerns about like safety, racism and is this going to
be a place where I am welcomed? Am I going
(03:45):
to be okay in this place? And those are very
valid concerns. There are no shortage of online resources. The
Exodus Summit, which is a community founded by two women
who have moved to other countries and all so do
an incredible job of helping other Black women think about
moving to other countries and planning to move to other countries.
(04:07):
They have great resources for all the things that you
can think about in terms of which countries feel okay
to travel to, what do you need before you travel
to this place? Like, just excellent resources because I think
that that is something that is important to be vigilant about,
right like where are you going to go where you
can have a joyful experience but also be safe. So
(04:27):
the safety piece, I think is one part of it.
But I also think that many of us just get
really really anxious when we think about I'm going to
be by myself, like in this place. Like many of
us struggle with doing things just like maybe even going
to the movies by ourselves, or like going to dinner
by ourselves. So the idea that you would be traveling
to a different state, a different country by yourself feels
(04:48):
like a very false step. But I really want you to,
you know, kind of challenge those anxious thoughts when they
come up, because the anxiety can exist, and you can
also push pass that fear to give yourself a joyful experience.
And so one of the things that I think about
if you feel like, Okay, I don't know that I'm
(05:09):
quite ready for solo travel, but I want to do something,
is to participate in a group travel experience but with
people who you do not know. So Dimitrio Lucas, who
is the host of the Ratchet and Respectable podcast, often
organizes these trips where women will go and have a
group experience together. Christina Rice also has a company called
(05:31):
om Noir where she retreats across the world for women
of color, but also helps others host retreats for different
kinds of experiences. And So, if you want to do
solo travel but you feel like I don't know if
I'm quite ready to do like this thing by myself,
I think that this is the next best experience is
(05:52):
that it is still kind of solo in that you're
going by yourself, but you are also then going to
be in community with other people who who did something similar, right,
Because I think that that is still a way for
you to flex that confidence muscle but maybe feel a
little more supported and that you will be with other
people who are also doing a similar kind of thing,
(06:12):
and so you gain the confidence, but you might also
then gain some community of other people who are looking
for maybe some changes in their life or who have
similar goals that could be helpful to you as you
are continuing on this journey that we call life. If
you don't do a retreat experience or a group trip,
I also think though that there are just typically lots
(06:34):
and lots of information, lots of activities that you can
look into for when you are visiting a place. Right, So,
I know a lot of us just do a lot,
We do a lot of research before we do anything,
and so I know that if you're planning a travel
experience somewhere, you are also going to do research about
like what kinds of classes exist, Are there different experiences
(06:55):
that you want to take part in, are there exhibits
that you'd like to see? Like? I think that that
also can help you to feel more confident about your
travel itinerary when you actually have a plan for what
you're going to do. Now, if you are just wanting
to kind of go see a place and you are
like more of a go with the flow kind of person,
that is also totally fine, but I think having a
(07:16):
bit of an itinerary is also helpful to manage some
of the anxiety that may be coming up related to
traveling somewhere by yourself. I also have been just very
encouraged to see so even in our Patreon community, we
had a conversation recently about people traveling solo and like
the tips and tricks that they have employed to kind
(07:37):
of set themselves up to have good experiences, but also
people who are considering it and then asking questions of
other people. And so I've just been very encouraged by
the conversations I often see black women having online in
supporting each other through these things that we maybe want
to try but maybe don't feel like we have the
nerve to do that. And so I encourage you to
(07:57):
do that as well. Is to find online or in
real life where you can ask questions, right, like, there's
nothing wrong with being afraid, but there's also nothing wrong
with getting the answers to your questions. And so online
spaces in real life spaces where you can ask questions
of people who have traveled solo, like what's the good
first place to go? Do you want to try a cruise?
(08:18):
As your first solo experience, like there is no shortage
of ways to do this for yourself. If this feels
like something that would be really enjoyable to you, something
joyful to you, and something that you feel like would
really help to build your confidence. And if you're listening
to this and you are somebody who's been super adventurous
and has tips and tricks to share with other wanna
(08:40):
be or soon to be solo travelers, we would love
to hear that. And likewise, if you're somebody who is
thinking about taking your first solo experience, we want to
hear what questions do you have and are there other
people in our community who might be able to help
answer that for you. Thanks so much for tuning in
for this conversation, and a huge thank you to our
(09:03):
partners at Chase Fire Reserve for sponsoring this mini series
all about traveling solo and centering joy. Whether you're a
seasoned solo traveler or trying to build the confidence to
do it for the first time, I hope our conversation
left you with some helpful tips to navigate the experience.
For those of you preparing to travel solo sometime in
(09:24):
the near future, I'm wishing you a restorative, reflective, and
ieopening journey. Until next time, take good care,