Session 419: ICYMI | Some Thoughts On Playing Small

Today, we’re throwing it back to Session 321 — Some Thoughts On Playing Small.

This quick episode was inspired by a line from Issa Dee, the beloved character played by Issa Rae in Insecure: “How much different would your life be if you actually went after what you wanted?” It’s a question that feels especially relevant now as we head into summer. The days are longer, the sun is out, and so many of us are ready to stretch, grow, and shine a little brighter. So, what would it look like to stop shrinking and give yourself permission to take up more space, both at work and in your daily life, as well as in your relationships and dreams?

I hope this episode encourages you to reflect on where you might be playing small and how you can start showing up more fully for yourself.

 

About the Podcast

The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.

 

Resources & Announcements

Registration for the 2nd Annual Holding Space for Healers Therapist Summit is now open! Join us July 24–26, 2025 in Atlanta, GA for this one-of-a-kind event designed for Black mental health professionals, offering the tools, connections, and resources to grow your practice, strengthen your brand, and expand your impact in a meaningful way.​Register for the summit here!

Did you know you can leave us a voice note with your questions for the podcast? If you have a question you'd like some feedback on, topics you'd like to hear covered, or want to suggest movies or books for us to review, drop us a message at memo.fm/therapyforblackgirls and let us know what’s on your mind. We just might share it on the podcast.

Grab your copy of Sisterhood Heals.

 

Stay Connected

Join us in over on Patreon where we're building community through our chats, connecting at Sunday Night Check-Ins, and soaking in the wisdom from exclusive series like Ask Dr. Joy and So, My Therapist Said. ​

Is there a topic you'd like covered on the podcast? Submit it at therapyforblackgirls.com/mailbox.

If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out the directory at https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/directory.

Grab your copy of our guided affirmation and other TBG Merch at therapyforblackgirls.c

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly
conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small
decisions we can make to become the best possible versions
of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy Hard and Bradford,
a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

(00:32):
to find a therapist in your area, visit our website
at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you
love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is
not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with
a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

(00:57):
for joining me for a fan favorite episode of the
Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get into today's reflections
right after a quick word from our sponsors. Today we're
throwing it back to session three twenty one, some thoughts

(01:17):
on playing small. This quick episode was inspired by a
line from Esa d the beloved character played by Ray
and Insecure. How much different would your life be if
you actually went after what you wanted. It's a question
that feels especially relevant now as we head into summer,
and we have to give a shout out to Esa
because she had bores like this throughout the entire season

(01:39):
that were both funny and relatable. The days are longer
and the sun is out, and so many of us
are ready to stretch, grow and shine a little brighter.
So what would it look like to stop shrinking and
give yourself permission to take up more space both at
work and in your daily life, as well as in
your relationships and dreams. I hope this episode encourage you

(02:00):
to reflect on where you might be playing small and
how you can start showing up more fully for yourself.
After you listen, I'd love to hear what comes up
for you. Let's get into it. I've been wanting to
experiment with shorter, more actionable field episodes for a minute,

(02:20):
so today is my first foray into what I'm right
now calling I have some thoughts on blank for this episode.
I want to share some thoughts on playing small this weekend.
I started rewatching Insecure from the beginning and was struck
when one of the first lines Issa has in episode
one is her asking herself, how much different would my

(02:44):
life be if I actually went after what I wanted?
Now y'all already know Insecure is one of my favorite
shows for lots of reasons, but chief among them is
the ability the writing has to pierce at the heart
of what so many of us struggle with, in this case,
the struggle with playing it safe, not doing too much,

(03:06):
not taking up more space. With this line, Asa verbalizes
a dilemma many of us have or are currently trying
to navigate. What would happen if I really went after
the life I really want for myself? Now, there are
a lot of reasons why this might be hard for us.

(03:28):
It could be that even though we like something different,
our current state is comfortable, while the idea of an
unknown makes us uncomfortable. It could be that we don't
know what steps to take to get to what's next,
or it may be that we doubt our ability to
actually obtain what we truly want. If this is something

(03:51):
you struggle with, I want to share a few questions
for you to consider and maybe even take to your
journal if you'd like that. This might help you to
get some clarity on what's stopping you from playing bigger
and help you to take some steps in the direction
toward the life you really want. Question number one, what

(04:23):
are you afraid will happen if you went after what
you really wanted in life? What would happen? Is there
fear related to this decision? What are you afraid will happen?
Question number two? Whose criticism sounds the loudest in your head?

(04:47):
Many times it's difficult for us to move forward because
we've been criticized in the past. Does someone's voice come
to mind? Whose voice is it? Question three? What will
have to be left behind in order to go after
what you want? Are there habits that you'll have to

(05:10):
leave behind, environments, maybe even people? What will have to
be left behind to go after what you want? And
is the grief related to this keeping you at a standstill?
Question four? What support and our resources do you need

(05:33):
and how can you obtain it? Is there somebody or
some organization you need to reach out to that can
answer some questions for you? And Question five? What's the
smallest step you can take towards this new reality? How
can you take a tiny, small step in this direction?

(05:56):
Is it through sending an email, maybe listening to a
podcast where someone who has done what you're trying to
do has been interviewed. What's one thing you can do
to get some movement started? I want you to remember
that the things that we are called to do are
often tied to the destiny of others as well, So

(06:20):
when the fear gets too big or you get too
worried about what others might say, try to silence those
thoughts by remembering that someone is waiting for you to
stop hesitating so that they can take their next step
as well. If you're so inclined, I'd love to hear
the small step you're going to take or the dream

(06:43):
you've been sitting on, both to celebrate with you and
to serve as a space for you to boldly proclaim
walking in this new path. I hope you're visiting this

(07:17):
session gave you something to reflect on and maybe the
gentle push you needed to stop playing small in this
new season. If it resonated with you, share with a
friend who might need the same reminder, And if you'd
like to keep talking with us about how to take
up more space, come on over and join us in
our Patreon at patreon dot com slash Therapy for Black Girls.
This episode was originally produced by the Therapy for Black

(07:39):
Girls team and is brought to you again by Elise Ellis, Indechubu,
and Tyree Rush. Editing was done by Dennis and Bradford
thank y'all so much for joining me again this week.
I look forward to continuing this conversation with you all
real soon. Take good care,