SESSION 440: Producer’s Chat: Reflections, Rest & the Last Stretch of 2025

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly
conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small
decisions we can make to become the best possible versions
of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor joy hard and Bradford,
a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

(00:32):
to find a therapist in your area, visit our website
at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you
love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is
not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with
a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

(00:57):
for joining me for session four forty of the Therapy
for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation
afterword from our sponsors. It's that time again. Today I'm
kicking back with our incredible production team as we reflect

(01:19):
on twenty twenty five, what we learned, what we're leaving behind,
and dive into what it looks like to balance rest
during the holiday season. As the year comes to a close,
I encourage you to check in with your own circle
to reflect on your year. What moments stuck with you,
what was your biggest lesson, How much did you actually

(01:39):
rest it's important to pause, check in and remember that
after a long year, a recharge is necessary. If something
resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share with
us on social media using the hashtag TVG in session.
Here's our conversation. All right, I'm very excited to reconvene

(02:03):
the group. We have not had a producer chat it
feels like in some times, so it felt fitting to
wrap up the year with some reflections and thinking about
how we are moving into twenty twenty six. So every
week at our production meeting, we start with a team
checking question, so we thought it would be great to
bring that to the podcast this week. So our question
for this episode is, are you in your cozy soft era?

(02:27):
You don't ask me about my life choices era, or
you I'm only here for the food era. As we
move into the holiday season.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
I am definitely in my cozy soft era. Although I am.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Hosting Thanksgiving, it doesn't feel as let me not lie.
It was definitely stressful, but now that the week is here,
most of the food is bought. Anything that like I'm
doing catering, or like flowers are ordered like all of that,
I'm like, okay, all I have to do is put
it together, which i've is exciting for me. But outside

(03:02):
of that, I am doing a staycation in California.

Speaker 4 (03:07):
I've bought all the.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
Things to even like cozy up my home, new robes
and being lighting.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
So I'm here for the vibes this holiday season. I'm
not here for the drama. I feel like this year
I'm may be uniquely.

Speaker 3 (03:21):
Disinterested in like the food of it all. I don't
know why, Like I can't pinpoint like anything. I'm really
excited to eat, but like the community, maybe play some games,
watch some movies.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
If anyone wants to get me a gift, I'm interested
in blankets and robes, so I'm definitely in the era.

Speaker 5 (03:42):
I love the mass announcement, the mass.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Who's listening, You never know who's listening listen.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
I have heard good things about these Lola blankets. Now
I have never felt or touched them, but I keep
hearing people on TikTok talk about these blankets that are
like the best blankets they've ever had, so that may
be on your wish list.

Speaker 4 (04:01):
I also just.

Speaker 5 (04:01):
Bought an ll being blanket that I got because I
have a long body and so oftentimes my feet are
you know, we're fighting to stay inside of the blanket.
I bought an ll bean blanket and it's like extra
long and you can like mine agreement for six dollars,
you're just quete and it is very soft.

Speaker 4 (04:19):
So and it was like forty five dollars. It was
not like crazy.

Speaker 6 (04:22):
So I actually have changed my mind, and I think
that I'm officially in the which you should as a
black person, you should probably always be.

Speaker 7 (04:30):
But I'm definitely in my who all gonna be their era.

Speaker 6 (04:35):
I think I was chronically outside this year to my detriment,
and now I'm just wising up and just like, no,
who's gonna be there because I actually don't need or
you know, who's.

Speaker 7 (04:45):
Gonna be there?

Speaker 6 (04:45):
Because I really only got fifteen minutes for this kind
of parlais.

Speaker 7 (04:49):
So That's where I'm at.

Speaker 5 (04:52):
Okay, I too will say I'm in my cozy era.
I love the holidays. My birthday is during the holidays,
so I can very much lean into the celebration of
it all starting really like November first, I'm like for
the next two months, really like till January.

Speaker 4 (05:07):
Second, I'm having a ball. I'm hosting friends.

Speaker 5 (05:10):
Must my friends and I usually do like a really
intense friends giving, but we're doing friends Miss to kind
of like curb how intense it can be. So I
am excited to host and like decorate and all of
those things. I am not similar to Elsa. I'm not
getting too heavy into the cooking. We will be ordering things.
I also feel like friends Miss like is less intense

(05:33):
when it comes to what needs.

Speaker 4 (05:34):
To be on the table. But yeah, I'm excited.

Speaker 5 (05:37):
I like want to go look at Christmas lights and
all of those things. I've been updating my holiday playlist,
so that's kind of how I'm feeling this year.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
I feel like I have been in my cozy girl
era probably for the last like three years really since
the pandemic when like we were kind of forced to
be home and I'm like, I really kind of like
it here and I actually don't want to leave my house.
So well, I feel like I have been cozy for
the past several years. The holidays are feeling a little
different now that my kids are getting older, so like

(06:08):
we have just gone through the exercise of their like
Christmas list, right, the list look very different this year
than they have, Like they're not you know, like oh
a Nintendo game and like some you know toys, like
they are very in this teen tween ish where it's like, oh,
these designer hoodies and Jordan's and you know if cars,

(06:29):
And I'm like, oh, we are not in the little
kid version of Christmas anymore. So that that is a
new development on the horizon for me at least, I'm curious.
Are you hosting your family for Thanksgiving or are you
hosting like friends?

Speaker 3 (06:43):
No, I'm hosting my family, okay for Thanksgiving, and then
I have three friends who are also coming as part
of the Thanksgiving. But yeah, this is a proper I
mean it's a proper Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Yes, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 7 (06:55):
Can I invite myself? I'm going to be in California.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
That's how invited himself.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
Feel free, no, feel free to come buy, come by.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
I love that it reminds me of the conversations online
where people are like, oh, we are continuing to like
wait on the Aunties to do the things, but it's like, no,
we're actually the Aunties now, right. So I love that
you are stepping into hosting the family for Thanksgiving.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Yes, I'm extremely excited. I am cooking a lot of things.
I don't eat meat, so my cousin's husband, I'm like,
you married.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Into a vegetarian family, you need to bring.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
I didn't you knew what was up for you. But
other than that, I'm cooking everything. I did a test
run of a sweet potato pie last night because I'm
not gonna say I don't like it. I just like
don't eat it as much as other pies that I've made.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
So I was like, Okay, I need to like test
this out.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
Pretty simple. I'm very excited. I'm also excited for like
the tablescape of it all. I've been meticulously planning that.
I had to get new plates, which is Thanksgiving is expensive,
and my mom was saying, like, why is it so expensive?

Speaker 2 (08:04):
And I'm like, well, you had a home for thirty years,
like there are things you don't have.

Speaker 3 (08:10):
But now that I happen, I feel prepared to host
more and more over the holidays and beyond.

Speaker 7 (08:17):
You can a pie alice?

Speaker 6 (08:19):
Will your grandmother's Tomali pie recipe be making an appearance
at this Thanksgiving.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Way? It's just not good like that.

Speaker 5 (08:30):
I feel like last time you were doing this right
And I was like, what is tomaly pie's that's.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
Clearly not like a sweet is that it's clearly like
a meeting.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
A savor, a southern Californian.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
I feel like, ditch, Okay, that's not good, Like that's
the only thing.

Speaker 7 (08:47):
I like it.

Speaker 6 (08:48):
I do, But I love Tamali, so like that's yeah,
I'm a savory person over sweets.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
Anyway, if I was having Thanksgiving at home, like my
Mom's Thanksgiving, there would definitely be and to Molly separately
like the oh, everyone's just getting here.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Do you want it?

Speaker 7 (09:05):
To Molly?

Speaker 2 (09:05):
And I'm like, that is a meal.

Speaker 4 (09:07):
Like an order.

Speaker 5 (09:09):
Yes, I mean I'm intrigued. The tomali pie intrigues me.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
I'd want to try it.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
Hmm. I don't know that I'm as intrigued that something.
Get me, get out and you can have my serving inde.
So one of the major accomplishments I feel like we
had as a team this year was our limited series,
The Siblings Sit Down, which we just wrapped up a
couple of weeks ago, and so I also wanted to
spend some time today just kind of reflecting on that

(09:36):
because I feel like that was the first like real
series that we've had as this version of the team,
which has been exciting and so any thoughts on the
heels of that. Did you enjoy that? Is there anything
that you're taking away from that you think about for
maybe future series that we might do.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
I really enjoyed it because it's like siblings.

Speaker 4 (09:58):
Sibling ship is a broad topic that there are so
many different points you can hit.

Speaker 5 (10:03):
And again, like we talked about, even if you don't
have biological siblings, you can still have sibling like relationships
with like close friends, cousins, and so I think, like
there is so much to talk about and no set
group of siblings is the same, and I think I
like enjoyed kind of exploring those dynamics and also hearing

(10:24):
things and you're like, oh relatable. I think especially with
the Amos Siblings episode. I've been listening to her podcast,
so I think listening to their episode and then listening
to the Tough Cookie podcast, you're like seeing all of
the dynamics at play, and it's such a blended family,
and I think so many of us are in blended

(10:45):
families and those dynamics can be all over the place.
But You're like, it makes me feel like okay, like
I'm not the only person navigating this. So I don't know,
I think I like the idea of like speaking on
something very broadly and like picking out all of the
different threads and povs, and I feel like there's still
so much more we can talk about.

Speaker 4 (11:05):
I also love sisters.

Speaker 5 (11:07):
So the Skuyler and Sunlent episode, like I realized I
like collect sisters sister friends.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
It's like a thing, like have sense of siblings, like
sets of sisters.

Speaker 5 (11:17):
Yes, like I'll have one friend that's a sister, and
then just by proxy, I become friends with like the
older younger sister.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
But I just love sister dynamics.

Speaker 7 (11:27):
I don't know why.

Speaker 5 (11:28):
So it's always fun getting to know like sisters. I
think sisters are fun.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I've was really excited for this series from the get
go because sibling relationships are so complicated, and although there's
a host of like movies and media where siblings hate
each other or they're best friends, I do think the
general discussion in the way we may discuss like dating,

(11:54):
I don't see that happen as much about siblings. So
I think I was really excited for that reason. Like
and they said, I have two sisters. I love sisters,
but I do think it can be like a complicated
relationship because it in a way can also mirror like
female friendship, and that's not something we uniquely explored, but

(12:15):
I'm definitely excited to do that if slash when we
do this again. And then, I think what was really
great about the Sean and Sarah Amos episode was realizing
that your life with your siblings is not just your
teens or your twenties or your thirties, like it is
a lifelong relationship. And I do think a lot of

(12:35):
the times when it comes to mending relationships, there is
so much immediacy and yes, like not to be morbid,
but like people pass, but you do have time, and
things take time, and like life events, can you know
ebb and flow your sibling relationships.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
And so it was good to really.

Speaker 3 (12:52):
See that, I guess, in real life practice with their episode,
and that I thought was really beautiful too.

Speaker 7 (13:00):
I love that.

Speaker 6 (13:01):
I think the big thing it made me think about
in my own family is the intergenerational elements of being siblings.
Like you kind of think of your aunts and your
uncles as like definitts of the yours, but then they
have this like unique sibling relationship with your parents that
you sort of unpack and like how they're unhinged or
like problem solve in different ways. Like I know for

(13:23):
me and my siblings, we have like active conversations about
now that is your grandma beef for hussus.

Speaker 7 (13:29):
Just don't get it.

Speaker 6 (13:30):
Don't get yourself involved in it, because it's like it's
very easy to like think that you're taking a side
and then they'll turn on you.

Speaker 7 (13:36):
So I thought about that. I thought about that a lot.

Speaker 6 (13:38):
And also I think what I appreciated about the AMS
interview was just how and they pointed out like they're
a blended family, and I think that there's been like
a long seated shame and being blended families as black people,
even though like we all kind of group with like
the Brady Brunch and the Partridge family, but there's no
like black media representation of that, or if there is,

(14:00):
it's kind of like a negative connotation to not having
the same two parents and the way that they're able
to build their sibling relationship, especially as like only sharing
a father, I think that it's a much different thing
than sharing a mom where you might not feel as connected,
but they have those relationships with their stepmothers as well.
Like it was really dope to see and I'm excited

(14:21):
to do this next year as well.

Speaker 5 (14:24):
Same my cousin calls that ad vintage beef. He's like,
you can I participate in a vintage beef?

Speaker 4 (14:29):
I'm like, you're right.

Speaker 1 (14:33):
One of the things that was I think the coolest
in kind of producing these conversations and like just all
the prep we did to kind of bring them to life,
was hearing more about your relationships with y'all siblings, right,
because that's not something that necessarily enters into team meetings
all the time, right, But of course, as we're thinking
about what conversations that we're gonna want to have, then
y'all started sharing about your relationships with your siblings. I

(14:55):
wonder did that lead to any additional conversations with your siblings,
like either the prep work or stuff that you heard
in the conversations with the siblings that we talked to.

Speaker 5 (15:05):
Not yet, but it has like been on my mind.
I think I'll share with you guys. I have like, well,
you know, my mom's siblings dad something, So I have
a lot of siblings on my dad's side, and I
feel like it's been easier to develop relationships with them
as i've gotten older and as they've gotten older, like
I'm a big sister to my two little sisters. And

(15:25):
so again going back to the Amos siblings, when I
was listening to their podcast, Sarah was talking to one
of her older brothers and he basically said that he
talked about like how they had issues with their dad
or whatever, and how he kind of like stopped talking
to his dad. But he was like, I never realized

(15:47):
that when I pushed him out, I pushed you out too.
He was like, that never occurred to me, and so
he kind of, you know, talked about just like kind
of going to repair that and looking at those relationships
as two separate relationships. And so I think that is
a thing that I have been navigating and also just

(16:07):
learning to accept, like just being like you can't group
all of these things together, like these relationships are separate.
I feel like there's also something I've talked about in
therapy too, like just separating those relationships, and so it's
not something that we've spoken about, but I think just
this year in general has been kind of like a
big sibling year for me, like spending more time with siblings,

(16:28):
even my sibling that I grew up with like talking
to him more about what's going on in his life
and not just being like, hey, what's that. So I yeah,
I feel like siblings. It's funny that we did this series,
so I feel like siblings have been like a big
point in like the star of my year a bit,
so it feels timely.

Speaker 6 (16:45):
I tell everyone like, I'm one of six children, and
the way I break that down is that I'm in
five group chats about one of them, and I know
that there's like also one about me. But I think
that after this we've probably gotten a little bit better
about like bringing some offline conversations to the main group
chat that has all six people in it. So it's
just like a little less behind your back talking. Although

(17:08):
we're going to keep that going because it is very funny.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
That feels like it would be very hard to make
sure you're in the right group chat and not end
up talking about the sibling net. It's not in the chat.

Speaker 6 (17:18):
They all have like really specific names, and so it's
very like it's a time like you know, it's having
like built in best friends, which is funny because like
it's a twenty year age gap between all six of us.

Speaker 7 (17:31):
It's just a lot of shit talking, and I don't know,
it keeps you sharp.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
I think for me, it was very refreshing that, you know,
not that I want this for them, but that Somenone
and Skyler got in an argument in Japan.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
I had just come back from Japan with my.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
And we transferred too late and one of the stations
had closed, so we had to get Uber from the station.
It wasn't like a crazy uber or anything like that,
but we really wanted to have like one successful intercity
train trip from Kyoto to Osaka, and we didn't have that,
and I like, she was leading us, given the directions,
and I was just like, you don't need to explain anymore.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
We just need to get out of the situation. So
to know that sometimes it is refreshing.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Like I love my sister, like I am her biggest fan,
but we do argue and sometimes I'm like, oh my god,
I feel so bad, like I don't want to argue
with my little sister. But to have other people tell
those stories, especially such a similar story, it was like, Okay,
I'm just human, not a terrible person.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
People have emotions.

Speaker 3 (18:33):
And then I thought what was also really refreshing for me,
which I've talked a little bit with my siblings about
is like how losing a parent can really like shift
the relationships both for like better and for worse.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
And I feel like it's something I've unpacked, like within myself.
Maybe my dad passed maybe.

Speaker 3 (18:53):
Six seven years ago, so around that time, I think
it was something we were talking about a little more presently.
But it has definitely inspired me to think about that
or like think about my sibling relationships and how they shifted.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
Since then, it has felt like there has been a
lot of energy. Once we wrapped the series, I think
all of us felt very pleased with the way it
turned out. And I definitely felt very alive, I think
in those interviews because it kind of mimiced therapy in
a lot of ways for me. Not I mean, clearly
they weren't on the couch, so to speak, but I
feel like I don't do a lot of therapy anymore,

(19:29):
and so like talking with a sibling sit and the
dynamic was like, oh, I kind of missed this dynamic.
And so we've definitely explored are there other angles to
explore if we bring the series back? What might we
want to do? So any kind of early preliminary thoughts
for if there is a continuation of this series or
a different version of this series, what other angles or
maybe topics might we want to explore.

Speaker 6 (19:52):
I've been watching the Braxtons them like revamp version and
just the stuff that they've been going through as a
family and specific Tamar, I think as a younger sibling.

Speaker 7 (20:03):
Being gas lit constantly. And I mean I'm using.

Speaker 6 (20:06):
That term without her degree, but it does feel like
that's what's happening. I would like to explore like youngest
sibling like emergence and adulthood, because I do think that
so much of your personality is formed by all of
the siblings that came before you. But there's also this
inability in mind you Tamar's mid to late forties mid
Like it's an inability of the family at large to

(20:28):
like recognize your adulthood and autonomy and how does that
impact you.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
It's a good one. I have not tapped into this
Braxton's reboot as of yet.

Speaker 4 (20:37):
It's a lot it looks tumultuous. No, I think that's
a good point, like the baby of the family of
it all.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Sorry, I definitely want to explore siblings who have started
a business together and how that has affected their relationship.
So that would be really interesting to me or who
are in the entertainment business because that does put a lot.

Speaker 4 (20:59):
Of sures on family.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
And then the second thing I was thinking about, which
I think extends more to family, but I've seen on
TikTok and some like YouTube vogs are siblings who live
in like compounds. So it's like, this is your home
connected to my home, and it's.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Like why they want to do that?

Speaker 3 (21:17):
Because I was like I kind of like that, So
that was something that if you know, we could find
a pair of siblings who are doing that or started
to do that, I think would be really interesting.

Speaker 6 (21:29):
That's actually not uncommon in New York, Like if your
family owns a house, converting it into multiple apartments.

Speaker 7 (21:36):
I know a couple of families like that.

Speaker 4 (21:38):
My friends and I have joke about like living on
a compound and being like, let's just put everybody in
one place feels very convenient.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
So thinking about you know, like a lot of the
conversations we've had this year have been around, Okay, how
do we take care of ourselves? Especially in this moment
in history, This time of year is one where people
kind of naturally are kind of thinking about more resting
and reflecting, and what are we bringing into the next year,
what are we leaving in twenty twenty five. So when
you look back at any intentions or resolutions that you

(22:09):
said for yourself in twenty twenty five, what did you
keep up with and what did you let go?

Speaker 7 (22:14):
Ooh, this is a good one, Okay.

Speaker 6 (22:16):
So I remember distinctly writing out the sentence that I
wanted to ambitiously pursue pleasure because I think that I'm capricorn,
naturally ambitious, naturally like following career paths and kind of
like doing that. But it's very hard for me to
like plan a vacation and take myself out for my
birthday or just do something just because it's like fun,

(22:37):
or do something that doesn't have end goal in mind.
So I was like very ambitious about doing that this year.
This is the first year that I actually celebrated my
birthday with a SPA trip and went on like a
weekend trip like just to go see the thing, and
planning like a trip for the end of the year,

(22:57):
and being like ambitious about it in that, like I'm
actually taking setting out times to put that together. It
is a headache. I think that the reason why I
haven't done it in the past is because I've just
been waiting for someone else to do it for me.
But what I have learned is, like is important to
do those things.

Speaker 5 (23:13):
I think I this year, I mean I think every year,
I'm like, move your body.

Speaker 4 (23:19):
Be active.

Speaker 5 (23:21):
It's just something I wanna do all the time, not
even as like a resolution, but it's like an intention
that I like to set. It is also helpful but
sometimes stressful, that my birthday is at the end of
the year, so it's like the beginning of the year
for the world, but also the beginning of the year
for me.

Speaker 4 (23:34):
It's like the end of the year. And I'm like, Okay,
I think I've been pretty consistently active. I love to
go on a walk.

Speaker 5 (23:42):
I'm like, I do consider myself a real walker. So
some people are like, god, it's sweating. I'm like, no, Like,
when I say walk, I mean like a few miles
at least, So I'm proud of that.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
And I think I also I'm a Sagittarius.

Speaker 5 (23:57):
I love spontaneity, and I am crying to busy body,
and so I always have to like make myself be
very intentional about how I'm spending my time and how
I'm spending my money. Made some very adult decisions when
it's come to my time and my money this year,
which don't always feel good in the moment, but you

(24:18):
got to pay the iris sometimes and so I don't
even know if that's spending your money intentionally, but like
you could choose not to.

Speaker 4 (24:25):
So it's doing things you're like, Okay, you're taking care
of your future future self.

Speaker 5 (24:30):
I do wish I like stepped into my care in
other ways though this year, Like you know, whenever you
get a massage, you're like, I should do this more,
and then I don't do it again for six months.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
So I want to do more of that.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
But yeah, I'd say this year was about maintaining for me.
I felt like in twenty twenty four I established a
lot of good habits and.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Had like a very consistent routine.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
So this was about maintaining that, and I think I
did that pretty well. I also am someone who like
will over evaluate my routine and sometimes I'm like, I
just have to let it work. So having periods where
I wasn't planning, I think I was very successful at that.
I told myself in twenty twenty five, I wanted to.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Travel more and I was like, okay, I did that.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
I had come to the realization that some weekends I
was spending the amount on a flight, and I'm like,
just stop going out as much. And it wasn't even
like partying or doing anything crazy, but the amount of
things that you just can do in a weekend.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
And so I've been enjoying my rent in twenty twenty
five and I'm very glad that I've been doing that.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
But also I think I've gotten to know myself, Like
I've read a lot more in twenty twenty.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
Five, probably watch more movies than any other year.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
I have AMC Stubbs and the Alamo Draft House subscription,
and like, yes, it's spending money, but it's like an
initial investment once a month spend Sometimes I don't give
food at the theater, so no money. But I feel
like I've taken more time in twenty twenty five just
to have like not necessarily fun, but.

Speaker 4 (26:10):
Like pleasure, to be a lot more slow.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
And sometimes I think with the things that I want
to do, I'm like, okay, it needs to be done
in a month two months. A lot of things this
year have been done over like six seven, eight months
a quarter and so balance, like remembering it's a marathon
not a sprint was a big goal of mine for twenty.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
Twenty five than I think I successfully did.

Speaker 3 (26:33):
Like my apartment, it wasn't going to be done within
the month of when I moved in. There's still stuff
that I'm being now my fitness journey, Like, yes, I
can see gains and improvements in a month, but like
it's what I do after that month that matters. Taking
away some of the instant gratification that I was used to.

(26:54):
I think that has been very successful for me. Something
I would love to do better is they said some
of the I don't want to say more traditional self care,
but like I'm not really a facial person. I maybe
get a massage like twice a year, and so doing
those other things that feel like luxuries, but I think

(27:16):
they feel like luxuries. Well they are a luxury, but
they don't have to feel like as big as an event.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
If I just did them more often. So I think
that's what I'm thinking about in twenty twenty six.

Speaker 5 (27:27):
The reason why I said that is because we have
our week off here and I was like I'm gonna do.
I was like, I'm gonna do so much, and I
did find myself programming a little too hard. But one
thing I did was I went to the Korean Spa
for the first time, where you're like completely naked in.

Speaker 4 (27:45):
His them room Sana Jukuzzi.

Speaker 5 (27:48):
I got a full body scrub, you eat, you can
sit under a million led like it is just so relaxing,
and I was like, I need to do this at
least some month because, like you just I was spent
like five hours in there and it felt like a treat.
It's obviously not something I'm gonna do every week, but
it did something I want to like normalize. So if

(28:10):
you haven't been to the Korean Spot, I had a
great time. I had a blast, and I feel like
time stopped. And I feel like I definitely like to
do things for time stops, because in my brain, time
is never stopping.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
Anything to add for you.

Speaker 7 (28:23):
Terry, No, not really.

Speaker 6 (28:24):
I think that besides the taking care of yourself, like
doing pleasure all that jazz, I've been consistent, I'm probably
letting something go in twenty twenty five. I just haven't
figured out what it is yet. But I'm very much
joining that woman on her staircase and dropping some things behind.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
So I love that meme so much. I look always
at her coming back at the end of every year
she lives on.

Speaker 4 (28:48):
She really does.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
More from our conversation after the break, so, you know,
I feel like at several points, and even in this
conversation today, I have heard you all talk about like
just making decisions around finances and stepping into that stage

(29:13):
of your life where you're thinking about, oh, I really
got to be the adult in the room when like
pay attention to finances and irs stuff. And is there
anything that you feel like you've incorporated this year that
has allowed you to feel like maybe you had more
freedom around finances or make different decisions that you're proud
of related to finances.

Speaker 5 (29:32):
I think one thing that was helpful for me, and
this is like a less tangible thing, is like genuinely
talking about finances with friends. Like one day my friends
and I were all it wasn't planned, but we were
all just kind of like sharing how much debt we
had like overall, and like what that looks like, and
no one was like in a crazy position. But I

(29:53):
feel like when it comes to just like getting your
finances and everything in order. It's just something that you
want to do quickly, like Ali said, and hearing other
people's approaches to those things and like how they take
care of them makes you like, okay, I'm being responsible.
Like I'm being responsible. You can't take on everything at once.
I am like newly talking to a financial planner because

(30:16):
I'm like, all right.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
How you know goals, goals? How do we reach these goals?

Speaker 5 (30:21):
And how do I make smart decisions and just take
advantage of the things I can take advantage of? So
when I'm sixty, I'm not like what So I think
those have been the things for me and just like
just continuing to.

Speaker 4 (30:33):
Look at what I have going on.

Speaker 5 (30:35):
There have been moments, especially in my twenties, so I
was like, I've been looked at.

Speaker 4 (30:38):
My big account of two weeks. I don't know what's
going on in there, but it is my business.

Speaker 5 (30:42):
There's no one else's business. It's definitely mine though. But
if it's not my business, then like what are we doing?
So I feel like a lot better just like checking
in and just.

Speaker 4 (30:51):
Like talking about it.

Speaker 5 (30:54):
I feel like when it's all in your head, it's
like a lot easier to forgive your own misgiving. But
when you're talking about it and you're just talking about it,
like you're talking about the weather, it's easier to kind
of create some structure around it.

Speaker 6 (31:09):
This one's interesting for me because we started this year
our January Jumpstar. One of the episodes was with Amy
Griffin about estate planning, and it opened some like threads
to me personally about how I've looked at money and
like wealth and community traditionally. And I think growing up
in like a large family, having so many siblings, like

(31:30):
if there was a field trip that I went on
wanted to go on that cost twenty dollars, I've always
had to evaluate did my parents have success of twenty
dollars so that we could all go on the field trip?
And if I didn't think that they could, then I
wouldn't ask because it was it was impossible. And I
think I carried that sort of like community mindset of
like my money is our money. I can't afford to

(31:51):
do this because inevitably someone's going to need money, and
so I need to make sure that I'm saving it
so that when this person needs it, I'll be able
to have it. And that episode that we did with
Amy Griffin got me more and so into thinking that, no,
this is your life and your money and what you
leave behind is what you leave behind, but this is
what you're supposed to live with, and like learning more

(32:14):
so how to think of like my finances as being
just for me. And then especially because I went into
the year saying we're going to pursue some pleasure. Pleasure,
ain't cheat, So I had to, you know, get get
more comfortable with just like spending on myself, which probably
sounds insane to people who know me, but definitely just
reframed my mind around that.

Speaker 5 (32:36):
You sound like all capricorns and not even like literally
capricorns are so like my money is very black and white.

Speaker 6 (32:46):
Yeah, we added a little splash of tope in there
this year.

Speaker 7 (32:51):
We'll see if you can make it the full color.

Speaker 3 (32:54):
My mom is a Capricorn, and I can definitely see
that in her. There are such a giving people, and
I appreciate that, but I'm like, you don't have to
think about other people in this situation right now, Like
it is your money, it's your time. I always have
to tell my mom that, even in planning like her birthday,
so time She'll be like, well, so and so it
doesn't eat this, and I'm like, well so and so
it doesn't have to come this is your birthday. But

(33:19):
that's such a good question, doctor Joy, And I agree
with Indy about looking at your money. I went out
and I'm like, oh my god, I don't even remember.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
How much I spend.

Speaker 3 (33:29):
And then I used to like have this anxiousness and
it's like the number isn't going to change whether you
look at it or not, so you might as well
just look at it, and then having a plan, even
though plans change every week. I do my budget and
I look at my budget and I say, how much
am I going.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
To spend this weekend?

Speaker 3 (33:48):
Down to like, yes, I have Macha at home, I
have all the things at home.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
Am I gonna buy one outside sometime this week?

Speaker 3 (33:56):
And I do think just looking at it at that
frequent and then trying to have a budget.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
I celebrated like my five year homecoming, and I.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Was like, Okay, I'm gonna spend three hundred dollars this weekend,
and I spent less than three hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
But having that goal and just like.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
Having the money set aside well ahead of time, but
then also being able to go out and just know like, Okay,
I have a bit of a cushion here, Like I
wouldn't spend three hundred dollars on a normal day out,
but I could because I planned for it. And I
think you're able to plan when you understand your cash
flow a lot better. Something that I find that I

(34:35):
did last year that actually stopped doing this here was
I hope they don't want to sponsor the podcast, but
there were what was it the APF rocket. I used
to use it, and I felt that it did make
me lazy and understanding my own finances. Yes they track
your subscriptions, and yes it's easy, but it kind of

(34:56):
felt like I was still putting it in someone else's
hands and I wasn't as intimate. But I also felt like, oh,
because I'm tracking it, it's fine, but it didn't feel like, Okay.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
I actually know. And now I feel.

Speaker 3 (35:10):
Just a lot smarter about my money now that I
do with myself like pen and paper or like notes,
app Excel, spreadsheet. The fact that I have control over it.
This is not like anti AI or anything.

Speaker 2 (35:22):
I appreciate that part.

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Of it, but you know, something I saw her name
is Melody, like Georgia Lucas's wife. I've got his cousin Hoopson.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Yes. Something she had said was children need to see
physical cash because they don't have the.

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Concept of money coming in and money coming out. And
when I was a kid, if I had a debit
card that my parents would like put like sixty hours
a month on for allowance, but everything I bought, for
the most part, was physical cash, like if I went
on a field trip.

Speaker 2 (35:55):
And I think maybe we've lost.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
A little bit of that in adulthood, and so being
able to use excel, pen and paper sometimes I'll even
have like post it notes like this is how much
you're spending on this this week. I think that has
replaced how cash used to work in my life. And
so I really found her saying that to be like
really important and I'm honestly like transformational for me. So

(36:18):
the more tactile I've been with my money, I think,
the better I've spent it. And even like I went
to ATM yesterday to get money for my house cleaner,
and it's like when you see two hundred.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
Dollars leave bait I physically come out. That's when dollars
is real, Okay, that's not twohen dollars.

Speaker 4 (36:35):
That norsers rack you just right.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
So yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (36:42):
Think that if I like had to give a piece
of advice, I'm like, I would say, you know, most
banks have a tracking within the bank, so I don't
think you need these extra apps. I think you need
pen and paper and sell spreadsheet. You can even use
tat GPT and put like all of your like, oh okay,
these are the bills I have this week, and it
can give you information. But I think the more you're

(37:03):
able to do that on your own, it does help
the way you look at your money.

Speaker 5 (37:07):
If anyone has a budget spreadsheet or something that they recommend,
let me know, because I feel like my system is
not sophisticated enough and it's not automated whatsoever, So you know,
send them my way.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
You need some assistance in that area, so at least
you know. I feel like some of your comments are
a perfect setup for my next question, which is around
the propaganda that you are not falling for anymore. So
a part of what you were talking about is like, oh,
automate everything, right, Like I really want to be more
tactile with my money. So what propaganda are you leaving

(37:42):
in twenty twenty five, what are you no longer falling for.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
I can't lie like I'm an ambitious person, like I
have goals.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
With snims, you don't have to have a goal like
you can. It's okay to just be out your own vibes.
Sometimes I think we need more people who are.

Speaker 2 (37:57):
Just experiencing life. Like I think, especially when you're on
social media, it can be extremely overwhelming seeing the amount
of content that's like how to plan this, how to
do xyz. I'm not I'm kind of against that, Like
I miss the error. I like vlogs. I like just

(38:19):
seeing people go about their day.

Speaker 3 (38:20):
I guess like for some people, cooking is a goal,
but I like things that don't feel like, yes, there
are skills that can compound, but they don't feel I
think we've professionalized our personal lives.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
A little too much.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
So I'm maybe not falling for that propaganda holy Like,
yes it works in some aspects, but in some aspects
it's like you're a human, and so I think that
is what I'm not falling for when I'm leaving behind
in twenty twenty six, It's kind of similar to what
at least was saying about decorating her apartment, because I
feel like I've experienced that this year.

Speaker 5 (38:52):
Too, And I remember, like maybe two apartments ago, I
got in there and I was like, it needs to
look cut in here, and it needs to look cut
in here right now. And I just bought a bunch
of stuff, bought a bunch of like artwork that didn't
really mean anything but like was cute, And none of
that stuff is stuff I'm still using now. And so

(39:14):
I think I was so concerned with like how I
wanted things to feel in the moment that I did
not think about like how it feeling however longer, like
what it meant to me, or being able to look back,
you know, when I have a home and be like
I got this in this place and it's special to
me because and so I think that applies to not

(39:34):
only putting together your space, whether you're in an apartment
that you're paying rent at or a house or whatever,
but just like intentionality behind like how you're doing things.
I think, especially when you wanted a lot of things,
it can feel like you need to do those things fast.
And I think some things need to be done fast,

(39:55):
but bull dozing through creating stuff through just like learning
about yourself and what you like can kind of feel
like a disservice.

Speaker 4 (40:07):
So I've just been kind of trying to.

Speaker 5 (40:12):
Just like resist the urge to just make things turn
around very quickly.

Speaker 4 (40:20):
That makes sense.

Speaker 7 (40:21):
Slow and steady wins the race.

Speaker 4 (40:24):
Okay, fortis ortis.

Speaker 6 (40:27):
I have to The first one is I'm no longer
falling for the propaganda of or the optics of supporting
black owned I think that we keep getting finagled into
supporting things, and most recently it's been a thing that
I actually really think is cool, which is the Pierre
la Boor bag. Pierre Labor is a Haitian American designer

(40:49):
that makes these really intricate handmade mohair purses, and people
really go up for the quality and craftsmanship, and I
think that it's they're selling out like super fast, but
I don't think that they're selling out for the right reasons.

Speaker 7 (41:06):
And that's kind of.

Speaker 6 (41:07):
The thing where I'm trying to steady myself and encourage
other people to really look at the ways in which
we are supporting, you know, some of these black owned businesses.
Sometimes we're looking for an optic and it's like, sure,
I could buy Beyonce's latest fragrance. But if the goal
is to like stimulate black economies, I could get it

(41:29):
from the African shop and like that's actually doing more
for like my direct community. Then this other thing, so
looking at if we're really into the idea of supporting
black owned and wanting craftsmanship and one in quality, does
that exist in our communities, which I believe it does
in a way that isn't currently being platformed and focusing

(41:51):
more on that than just trying to be attached to
the thing that's featured in essence or going viral on TikTok.
And then the second thing is slip and your dec conditioner.
I don't think it works. I think that a good
deep conditioner needs to feel like it's already bonded to
your hair. And I just don't believe it. I don't
believe the curly Nikki tribe telling you about slip. I
think that big conditioner is tricking us out of our dollars.

Speaker 7 (42:14):
And I'm gonna start I'm gonna stand behind that.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Okay, So then I feel like I gotta know, like
what deep conditioner are you loving? Men?

Speaker 7 (42:25):
Okay?

Speaker 6 (42:25):
I actually really do like the sacred deep conditioner, and
I think people are complaining that it doesn't have enough slip,
but like I said, I feel like it needs to be.

Speaker 7 (42:33):
We're trying to do some cuticle pair right here.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
Like a deep conditioner needs to have slip. It's on
is shampoo.

Speaker 6 (42:38):
Yeah, it's like I'm going under the dryer and when
I come out, I want to like feel like there's
nothing to wash out, even though I'm still gonna do that,
Like that's that's what a good conditioner does. But we've
been lied to a lot around I.

Speaker 7 (42:51):
Think that's we're still in an era of four Sea girl.

Speaker 6 (42:54):
He's trying to look like Zendeia hair wise, and you know,
we got to work out of that slowly, so it's
a life long process.

Speaker 5 (43:02):
I'm like, I'm trying to remember the last time I
used a conditioner that I felt like it was like
not like marrying with my hair. I don't know, but
maybe maybe my expectations are too low.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
But I'm just like, because I wouldn't want like a thinner,
I wouldn't want a conditioner with slip. Now that I
want a thick condition Yeah, that like cokes your hair.

Speaker 7 (43:23):
Everyone's like it needs to have it needs to be dripping.
I'm like, no, I need.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Once. That's the point.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
It's just no.

Speaker 7 (43:33):
No.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
I'll say.

Speaker 5 (43:34):
The other light side of like the propaganda I'm not
falling for is everything being a sample sale.

Speaker 4 (43:41):
We are using sample seale way too loosely.

Speaker 5 (43:44):
And I say this while I'm wearing a shirt from
a sample sale, that it's not a sample sell price.

Speaker 4 (43:49):
But that's another I guess I just got caught up
in the moment.

Speaker 5 (43:51):
But I feel like everything is being called sample, sample,
sample sale because like it like sounds chicic, but no,
you are liquid dating old product that like at the
time you did not really care about quality as much
as you're trying to get rid of it and make
a quick buck. But these are not samples, and they're
you know, I think, like everybody is calling things a sample,

(44:13):
so you should really just call it a sale or
call it clearance.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
But clearance doesn't sound as sexy, and so that's propaganda.

Speaker 1 (44:21):
I'm not falling for. More from our conversation after the break,
I don't know that I ever fail for this propaganda,
but I really want to leave it. In twenty twenty five,

(44:41):
this idea of cutting people off very quickly, right, So
any disagreement, any tension, any conflict automatically means that I
need to protect my peace and leave this relationship where
it is. And I feel like we do that way
too often, or at least I see a lot of
conversation around it that makes me very uncomfortable because it
feels like people are not actually practicing good relationship skills

(45:04):
but instead just running to avoid conflict. And I really
want us to get more comfortable just being in the
messy middle with people, because that is where relationships flourish.
So that's the propaganda I'm not falling for.

Speaker 7 (45:17):
That's a good one plus one to that.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
Yeah, So I feel like we cannot have a conversation
with this group in specific without hearing some of your
best of the year. So Lisa has already told us
that she has multiple movie house subscriptions. I know that
all of you frequent the movies and shows kind of
a lot. So what was your best film of twenty

(45:40):
twenty five?

Speaker 3 (45:41):
I'll start because I have three and Off the Dome.
The first two to me are like equally as great
for different reasons, but centers in one battle after another.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
Both movies I've seen like five.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
Times, like great films, and I appreciate that they were long.
I Thinkganda I'm not falling for and everything does not
need to be short and digestible. Okay, And so I
just watched Centers this weekend, and I also watched One
Battle after Another again and I was like, Wow, these
are amazing films. So those aren't like like one and two.

(46:16):
You can play some however you want. This third was Twinless.
It was I wouldn't even say it was.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
An indie film, but it had. I didn't watch Teen Wolf.

Speaker 3 (46:26):
But the guy from Teen Wolf Dylan O'Brien, But basically
it's about a guy who loses his.

Speaker 4 (46:29):
Twin and.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
The friendship he forms after that. I thought it was
really good. It was very creepy for sure, but like
I cried during the film, and I thought the way
it portrayed grief was really great.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
So it was definitely an underrated film.

Speaker 3 (46:46):
And then there was another film called Lurker that I
really loved, another creepy film. I think this was in
terms of some of like the more indie, smaller films
that I saw this year.

Speaker 2 (46:57):
A lot of them were creepy. But if I had
to tell people, like, what.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
Was my twenty twenty five and films I'd say, one
battle after another, Sinners, Twinless, and Worker.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
I loved those films.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
That's a good one. I really enjoyed. I mean obviously Sinners.

Speaker 5 (47:14):
I really enjoyed Lurker, Like Lurker made me feel so
track that soundtrack like everything, and it was just so like,
I feel like they really captured the dynamic of that
mysterious group around an artist so well.

Speaker 4 (47:31):
I was like this person and they said the right,
I used to work in music. I think.

Speaker 5 (47:34):
I was like, I can definitely tell because that like vibe.
I was like, yes, this is exactly what it feels like.
I'm trying to talk about it.

Speaker 7 (47:42):
What that could be spoiled without spoiling.

Speaker 4 (47:44):
You, I'll say, are we just talking movies? Are we
talking like? Are we gonna shift into category?

Speaker 1 (47:49):
I't know, we just we don't have time to do
all the categories.

Speaker 4 (47:53):
You're right, You're right. I'm like, we don't.

Speaker 5 (47:57):
Definitely, Sinners takes the cake as number one on my
on my pyramid. If there have been two moments this
summer where a friend was like, I haven't seen Sinners,
I'm like, sit down, please, you're watching number widely. I
feel like I'm not doing a good job as a
friend if you haven't seen Sinners, and so Sinners might
be the movie that like finally makes me start collecting

(48:19):
movies in an analog way because I'm like, I need
to have things on tap when there's no Internet, all
of those things. So Sinners definitely. I also did Love
Went Battle after Another. I'll also add two others. I
really liked this movie called Together. It was like a

(48:40):
body horror and it was a very creepy movie. But
I feel like it explored doctor Joey. You'd probably have
some interesting therapy takes on it.

Speaker 4 (48:49):
It explored Y.

Speaker 5 (48:52):
Like in a very interesting way and in a literal
way in terms of the horror aspect. But Together was
just like I love a movie that like makes me
just feel weird, like I'm like on a ride at
Disney World or something.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
And it was funny. It was funny. It's funny.

Speaker 5 (49:06):
Yeah, it kind of like made fun of itself, and
I was like, oh, this was such a fun watch.
So I really enjoyed Together and a late Comer and
like movies that I really enjoyed. This year, Tessa Thompson
started a movie called hell yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
And it's directed by a black woman.

Speaker 5 (49:24):
It's like shot beautifully, the pacing is really nice and
I and I do enjoy Tessa Thompson as an actress.
I wish I would have seen it in a theater
because I just think some things just need to be
on a big screen. But Heta was like, you know,
it's kind of Tessa Thompson plays like a complex black
woman who's like kind of villainous.

Speaker 4 (49:46):
But I just enjoy seeing that on screen.

Speaker 5 (49:50):
And I also love a movie that takes place in
one setting, Like the entirety of it happens at a party,
and so I love just exploring so many things that
can be happening at one time in that Sking.

Speaker 4 (50:02):
I think that's on Amazon Prime and I really enjoyed it,
and I'm like, somebody needs to put this on a
movie screen. So those are my.

Speaker 7 (50:09):
Phaves definitely plus one Aheada.

Speaker 6 (50:12):
That was like one of the first plays I read
in college, and seeing them artfully take on the addition
of race into that storytelling was great. I'm not a
big fan of Tessa Thompson's acting, so I was very
impressed to see her in that role. Another thing that
I really liked this year was Bougonia. I think Emma

(50:33):
Stone is just making really strong acting choices. I know
that there's some controversy around the portrayal of womanhood and
her works and with her directing partner, but I don't
know these these movies are getting me. I was also
a big fan of Poor Things, so it just might
be my genre. And then last, I mean Love Centers.

(50:54):
Of course, I was actually not as big of a
fan of one battle after another. I think we could
have taken forty five minutes out of the film, and
I wish that both Tayana Taylor and Chase Infinity's characters
had more of a full arc in their storytelling. The Mastermind,
That's probably the last one I thought was like really good,
even though I don't like Ham Ham. Who is Hame

(51:18):
the uh one of the girls from ham the band.

Speaker 7 (51:21):
She was on Licorice Pizza. She's in this movie too,
and I'm just like, I can't stand you, but this
is all dude.

Speaker 5 (51:28):
Yeah, I can't say I get I get Hame.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
But I saw Licker and I did not enjoy that movie.

Speaker 7 (51:34):
I saw Liquorice piecea and I said, oh, this is oh.

Speaker 4 (51:37):
A little problematic. I was speaking liquors, Pizza, A Long Walk.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
With I haven't seen it.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
I've really enjoyed it.

Speaker 8 (51:46):
Like I heard mixed reviews and those same people who
love that movie loved Weapons, And as someone who wants
to have that movie scrubbed from all the streaming, I don't, no,
I can't, I can't weave y'all me and you go
see Weapons now.

Speaker 5 (52:03):
Weapons, I feel like was just like absurd, But I
do enjoy absurdity.

Speaker 4 (52:08):
But I liked A Long Walk. I will say. The
only thing is that And now I'm not I think
his name is David.

Speaker 5 (52:13):
I'm forgetting the black man in the movie, the main
lead who was in industry, who was in industry, yes exactly,
Don Johnson or like.

Speaker 7 (52:25):
It's like it's a basic English name yet David exactly.

Speaker 5 (52:28):
I think he's a great actor, but his accent was
fighting for his life in that movie, and like that's
one thing I just could not get past. He was
like from the South, and I was like distracted by
his I don't know who his accent trainer was on
that movie, but I have thoughts.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
But I did enjoy the movie, and what Seymour.

Speaker 5 (52:48):
I'm forgetting now I feel like Barbara on Avid Elementary.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
I can't remember anyone's name's son.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
Thank you. Yes, a good actor.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
He's a good actor.

Speaker 5 (52:58):
He is a good actor, and I don't know he
was just when I was talking without liquorice pizza, and
so of course there's like more press are out it.
But he's a good actor. So I think they were
a good pairing. But you should watch it. At least
I enjoyed.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
I have not seen most of these things that y'all
are talking about. Centers I think is shut out and
I hear your I appreciate the takes on together. I've
never heard of that, but it does not sound like
something I will watch. But I feel like I might
be curious now that y'all are saying it's funny, and
also there may be some good like therapy takes, so

(53:31):
I might actually brave that one and get back to
all on it.

Speaker 4 (53:35):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
So we do not have time to go into all
of our Oh, at least was there another one that
you want to add to your list?

Speaker 3 (53:41):
Not a movie, but I did have an album that like,
I cannot not talk about black Star.

Speaker 2 (53:48):
How do you say her name is?

Speaker 4 (53:53):
I say black Star Amre.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
I love that album.

Speaker 3 (53:58):
I think I wrote about this in my newsletter, but
I felt like my issue with Charlie XCX's Brat, although
I did like it, was that it felt like the
Tumblr interpretation of like pop Indie Sly's like music, and.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
It wasn't bad.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
But what I love about Blackstar is that it pulls
from dance scenes from across the diaspora, so like Brazil, Ghana,
and so it feels like very studied.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
It's a great album, like the music is great, is
great to dance. So I'm gonna go see her here
in La. I'm very excited. But I really like how okay.

Speaker 3 (54:38):
I think people have won it not necessarily house music,
but just like dance, like party music. This is that
for twenty twenty five, twenty twenty six, and it's not
borrowing from the past, although it references it. But then
the feature is like Naomi Campbell's on the album Pink
Panthers Charlie Wilson, and I was very shocked at that,
for like, this is only her second album. I wouldn't

(54:58):
say she's that big, so also the people she was
able to get but it's actually her third album.

Speaker 4 (55:03):
But I loved it.

Speaker 2 (55:05):
I thought this was the best album of the year.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
So that's my look. Okay, so I feel like we
got to give Indian Tyree their shot at album of
the year since the least or if you want to
do a separate category your best something, so it could
be album or some other thing that you want to
give out.

Speaker 5 (55:19):
Okay, feel very drawn and so I'm gonna say it.
Olivia Dean's album. It's a fantastic album. It centers around
like navigating breakup and like finding yourself after breakup whatever,
and she is just like I know she co writes
a lot of her songs, but she's just a great performer.

(55:41):
It's a beautiful Like some albums, it's so hard to
just pick one song and front to back.

Speaker 4 (55:46):
It's like finishing it and starting and finishing a book.

Speaker 5 (55:50):
And so that has just been consistently on a repeat
since it came out. I bought the record and I
got Thank you Goud tickets to see her next year.
I'm very excited to see her. It's just been like,
and I love any song that's like this is about
my sadness. I'm like, yeah, so I feel like I

(56:13):
have no choice, Like that's my my.

Speaker 4 (56:14):
Apple the year for sure.

Speaker 6 (56:16):
Okay, I don't know that I have a favorite anything yet.
I just started listening to The Fall That Saved Us
this morning by Odell, so that might be it. It's
really it's really resonating with me. But nothing on the
music front that's like this took over for me. Now

(56:36):
next week when I look at my Apple music rapped,
maybe I'll have different opinions.

Speaker 7 (56:40):
But yeah, is it Odell or Odell?

Speaker 6 (56:43):
I'm really okay. Odell and Destin Conrad.

Speaker 7 (56:48):
I think are doing a lot for me in terms
of men saying R and B. So I'll give them.
I'll give them there to this.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
Yeah, Leon Thomas as well, I have enjoyed.

Speaker 7 (56:57):
You know, he screwed up a couple of times.

Speaker 6 (56:59):
But aside from that, yes, you'll get an eight on
the Richter scale.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
There you go. So one of my favorite things to
do in the Therapy for Black Girls community is to
offer permission slips at the end of the year. So
I typically am talking about something like, you know, you
have permission to make the holidays whatever you'd like. If
you had a permission slip to offer to our community
and our audience as they wrap up twenty twenty five
and head into twenty twenty six.

Speaker 7 (57:25):
What would you be boo boom?

Speaker 6 (57:27):
Okay, I've been saying this to people a lot, So
my permission slip would be to be an active participant
in your own life.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
It's a good one.

Speaker 5 (57:35):
I'll say my permission slip would be that you have
permission to be cocky drive to explain it.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
No, I feel like that is perfectly self Explainatoray.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
I'd say you have permission to be curious and deep.
I will reply to people's Instagram stories with like very
deep questions, so I'm like, why did you post that?
And it's a social media network, so you have like
not to be faux social, to be actually social.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
Okay, I feel like these are all very fitting of
who I know you all to be. You think, I'll no, no, no,
I love the wanting to step into it right and
like talking to you right back up all the great
things you've done. So remind the people where they can
find Joe in Daywoo is your website and any socials

(58:26):
that you want to share.

Speaker 5 (58:28):
My website is my first and last name, and day
chewboo dot com and I am in day lassol on
social platforms.

Speaker 4 (58:38):
I feel like mostly on Twitter, I'm like mostly a
retweeter these days, are gotten a bit lazy sharing my
thoughts on Twitter. So maybe I'll get back to that.
But that's me.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Have you met made the jump to threads yet I
feel like I still don't see you there.

Speaker 2 (58:51):
No.

Speaker 5 (58:52):
I saw my Threads account and I was making threads
posting like twenty twenty three.

Speaker 4 (58:58):
Usually I go on thread it's when.

Speaker 5 (59:00):
Instagram like promotes those little things, that little carousel. But
I never think to write anything on threats. But people
are like, have you seen it on threads? And chances
are I.

Speaker 4 (59:08):
Have not unless you told me.

Speaker 5 (59:09):
So I'm always like, I'll look at that, but then I.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
Don't you got it?

Speaker 2 (59:13):
At least my Instagram is my first and last name,
and so's my website, and so's my tiptok.

Speaker 1 (59:19):
And your substick, your newsletter.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
It's called a few minutes, so it's a few minutes,
dot substack, dot com, perfect and tyree.

Speaker 6 (59:28):
You can find me on any platform at tyrelevan t
y R E l V I N. And I'm on threads,
but not really just in name only. I mean I
I what is it called when you like are monitoring spirit.

Speaker 5 (59:44):
I so, I weed, I'm definitely a threads monitoring spirit.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
I feel like that is a separate conversation for another day.
This whole idea of monitoring experience, that's another topic to
dive into.

Speaker 7 (01:00:00):
Oh yeah, I share one?

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
Can I share one small anecdote?

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (01:00:06):
TM, I so, okay, I live in.

Speaker 5 (01:00:08):
Like an old building. I could have been un an
old building. We're also in Georgia careers everywhere. A few
days ago, I saw a gecko in my bathroom and
I know they're around there. I know they're around. He like, calmly,
like walked from behind my toilet, underneath my bathroom sink,
and I was like, okay, don't come in. So I
have them seal completely steal it. So I'm googling, of course,

(01:00:30):
and I'm like what does that mean?

Speaker 4 (01:00:31):
Like what? Literally?

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
I'm like what does that mean?

Speaker 5 (01:00:35):
And so sometimes you know, when you're like typing it
in and Google, you like to see what other people
are searching. And so of course I'm like, you know,
people are like, depending on who you ask, get goos
are good.

Speaker 4 (01:00:44):
Look. It means that someone's look watching after you. And
then someone's like a gecko is a monitoring spirit that
getto means someone wants the worst.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
I'm like, oh my.

Speaker 5 (01:00:52):
God, can we please so all that to say, geckos
are not monitoring spirits.

Speaker 7 (01:00:59):
Apartment.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
That's that's so funny that that's your inclination. I don't
think that I've ever googled what does such and such mean?
As a like A I'm like, a, you know, like something, Yeah,
that is so interesting. I mean I have plenty with
my Luisi in the background, right, like, I know what
a lot of things. But I don't know that I've
ever googled, like, oh this thing happened? What does this mean?

Speaker 5 (01:01:22):
Because I see them outside, I'm like, and why you
want me to see you so bad?

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
Why?

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
Who are you like?

Speaker 5 (01:01:29):
Show yourself so you literally I'm like Grandpa that okay,
it's my grandmother.

Speaker 7 (01:01:36):
Gosh.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Well, there's always such a treat to chat with y'all.
Thank y'all so much for joining me for this conversation today.

Speaker 7 (01:01:43):
Yes, of course, it's.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
Always so much fun to chat with the production team.
I really hope you enjoyed this episode. And a huge
shout out to Elise, who was just named on the
Forbes thirty Under thirty list. Congratulations, Elise, Did you know
that you could leave us a voicemail with your suggestions
and questions for the podcast. If there's a book you
want to suggest, or movies that you like us to review,
or if you have thoughts about topics you'd like us

(01:02:11):
to discuss, drop us a message at Memo dot fm
slash Therapy for Black Girls and let us know what's
on your mind. We just might feature it on the podcast.
If you're looking for a therapist in your area, visit
our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory.
Don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Therapy for
Black Girls and come on over and join us in

(01:02:32):
our Patreon channel for exclusive updates, behind the scenes content
and much more. You can join us at community dot
Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. This episode was produced by
alist Ellis Indechubuu and Tyree Rush. Editing was done by
Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for joining me again
this week. I'll look forward to continuing this conversation with

(01:02:53):
you all real soon. Take good care, what

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Dr. Joy Harden Bradford

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}SESSION 440: Producer’s Chat: Reflections, Rest & the Last Stretch of 2025