Ep 79: All PAWGS Go To Heaven

Today, this is what's important:

Energy drinks, Arizona Iced Tea, Sauce, past jobs, jerking off, step-sibling porn, deodorant, jungle juice, and more. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to This is Important, a production of I Heart Radio,
the show where we only talk about what is most obviously,
very crucially important today on This is Important. Definitely jerked
off at the Workaholics office. Do you guys know what
POGs are? P A W G. I remember sleeping at work,

(00:22):
like taking long ass bathroom breaks where you would just
literally sleep on the toilet. This is gonzo porno and
it's a good example of wind not to cut. Let's
go perfect perfect Perfect wants you buy five hour energy

(00:46):
drink Extra Strik five? Is it? I don't think it's
a sponsor. You want it to be? Yes? Send me Craizy.
Did you you pound one before? Is this how you
get up? Is this how you get the energy? This
how you get up? Just say I had half of one? Oh,
I don't want to go with those. I don't. I'm
still a I'm a classic man. I like I like

(01:08):
the bull, baby. I still ride the bull from time
to time. He's a bull rider. You're not with a juice.
It's a little rodeo clown. Your breath is bad. These
you just shoot and like it goes down your throat
before it can like coach your mouth the red Bull,

(01:29):
the red bull bull? Can I get that as on
the soundboard? Hello, your breath is bad. It's only bad
if you hate the smell of red bull, if you
drink red bull. I like it. I find it to
be intriguing, and most people love red bull, so I
would say most humans love the stink of red bull. No, no, really,

(01:51):
most human like a red bull. Burp is like poison.
I like it when it's when it spills on the counter,
Like you have a party. It spills on the counter,
it cross over and you don't get to it for
a few days and then you're like, oh, what does
that smell? And you're like, oh, some crusty book with you? Yeah?
The party? How many people? Yeah? How? What is this?

(02:11):
Like a freaking get toto? Like a back door but
it's a rager? Is he frozen? Oh? Ship? Damn man?
Perfect timing? God, damn it? I think frozen? Atam? Order
the fucking red bull finally just cut off all the synapses?
And how big is the fucking party? Man? Come on,

(02:34):
we gotta know Blake Hey for the the soundboard. When
people freeze? Can we get a let it go or
something from Frozen? Were like running joke there was. I
don't know. Okay, that's I don't know. I'm tin elsa dude.
I find her to be really freaking sickies bad hella.
I don't know what I apologize for my internet. I

(02:55):
don't know, guys, Oh God, are you okay? Hey, I'm fine.
I don't know. I just got off. I did an
hour zoom meeting right before this, and it was fine
the entire time I get on. I talked with you guys,
so it's us. Maybe they didn't say anything to you,
you know what I mean. Maybe they just kind of
let it freeze right there, Scarier. Maybe you were talking
into the abyss and they just never called. They're just like, yeah,

(03:17):
I think that counted as a meeting. It wasn't. It
wasn't one that I was doing a lot of talking.
I was doing a lot of listening and going, yeah,
you know that is a good idea, right, less band
with less band with now maybe chunk and you're eating
your band with Have you guys seen uh, speaking of
little drinks, have you guys seen this thing? WHOA, what
the freaking hell is that? Son? Where can I mean?

(03:41):
I just saw it at the store. I don't really
plan on drinking a lot of it. Is that concentrus
squirted into your water? Explain what it is? Explain it.
This is a audio media medium. I feel like I
just explained what it was. It's an Arizona ice tea,
lemon flavor concentrate squirt, and then you have lemonade or

(04:01):
iced tea with lemon flavor, fudge fudge lemonade. Okay, so
you got the Arnold Palmer. That's an Arnold Palmer trips bro.
That's cool. When I was I think like one summer
when I started doing the paper route and I had
a little bit of money, every day I would buy
Arizona iced tea and a fucking slim jim Bro and
that was how I lived. Can I have something our

(04:24):
Arizona iced teas? Those huge? Are they still n cents
because they held onto that ship. That's a great question.
With inflation, you mean, I think, so, how are they
the only thing that never changed? That's a great question
because they were overcharging for years because it cost a
nickel to produce, so they just stuck to the ninety.

(04:45):
That can't cost anything. That's just like an outdoor pool
somewhere in Arizona there's just this huge above round pool
filled with tea that they just dump buckets in and
fill cans. I don't know people are people like it?
It's poor sugar in it, dude. There's there's no way
it's even from Arizona. It's just a cool title. It's

(05:06):
best outside. No, it's from Arizona, Slamar, California. And like
a giant vat Woodbury, New York, it's manufactured New York City. Dude.
You don't have any of those Yorks City. What is that?
Is that pace? Yeah? It was like some cowboys sitting

(05:30):
around fire talking about salsa or something. You switch brands, dude,
you gotta get some of those. Dude. We had a
lot of revelations about sounds we need to get for
next week. It's gonna be the sound board is gonna
be fire, bro, are you going to actually go yeah?
Are you taking notes? Yeah? But you're not though its

(05:54):
science looking for the pen like this. I love it.
Just kind of weird New New York City. Let me
have something that he kind of scratch paper or write
it down, dude. You gotta get those. And then the
A one bold It gets you here, It gets you
right here. What was that one? It's when they came
out a one Bold. It was like a game changer.

(06:15):
What was a steak sauce? Obviously I know Adams Bold.
It's a steak sauce spicier A one. I love steak sauce,
Brother rated condiment. It was like a little spicy here,
but it also was just it wasn't that that. I
remember my dad was way stoked on it. And then
my mom we like went through it and my Dad's like,

(06:36):
we gotta get some more of that Bold baby, yeah,
And then my mom I saw her like change it
out with like a fake brand that wasn't a one
or Bold it and he never noticed. And he's like, oh, yeah,
that hits. And you're like you have no idea, You
have no idea. Yeah, the Bold hits. You put it
in the bottle, Yes, you would pour it in the bottle.

(06:58):
And she's like, don't tell dad, bitch, that's that's I
wish he knew. I wish he was like just like
plate slammed down, like this is not it. He knew,
like what is it that Chris Farley where they're like
drinking this kind of co dude, He's like, excuse me

(07:18):
a bit. He loses his mind, dude, Well, what about
like a one sauce Arizona iced tea? Both those they
haven't changed there, like the aesthetic of their cans and
bottles years when you got a classic. Yeah, there's something
to that. I know who updated their ship and I'm
not happy about it. Is okay, let's hear it. Bulls
Eye barbecue sauce that it's important. Yeah, what did they

(07:41):
always had? Like it was just the Chicago bulls logo
or what kind of Yeah, it was like a classic,
just like bulls I don't even remember bulls Eye. I
don't fuck with bulls Eye, to be honest, I'm not
a big barbecue sauce guy. I think it was like
a craft. It was made by Craft. It was a
big push in the are really nineties Blake Craft barbecue

(08:02):
sauce also sucked, ass though these are two terrible sauces.
Craft was okay, No, Craft was like bad. Catch up.
There's good people over there, Yeah, there's good people that craft. Yeah,
there's good there's good people on both sides. Is that
what you're saying? Both sides of the plate. Let's go Brandon, bro.

(08:23):
How is that not on the board, dude, you know what,
you know what changed the game was Sweet Baby raised.
That ship is everywhere. Now there's a fantastic barbecue sauce,
nice and thick. Did they get bought out and then
kind of pushed because when you think you discover something
and then you're like this is something and then it's everywhere.
Oh like Craft actually bought Sweet Baby. Race is probably

(08:45):
something that nobody's gonna fucking take down. Crafty, Robert Craft,
there's a fantastic one. What about the one from up
here in the bay isn't what is it? Mount shout
out to Kinders, even though and there's everywhere. Yes, I
know now it's now, it's gone, it's big, it's everywhere,
but it was only here for for fucking years. I

(09:07):
have super love for Kinders now, but you know that
used to be my rival when I used to work
at Fritz's Meats, and so what Kinders I thought was
like a little chocolate kinder eggs, but kids, chocolate. This
is the barbecue sauce from the bay. Never heard of it,
not a fan like you worked at a meat factory,

(09:29):
that's right. It wasn't so much a factory as just
a small mom and pop butcher shopping. It was one
of the best jobs ever because you would get there.
It was also a little catering spots, so you could
come away with some try tip and chicken. And I didn't.
All I needed was minimum wage because I'm coming home
with tried it stand er in high school. Okay, but

(09:53):
did you have to like saw p a cow and chip,
because that to me would be super fun. Um No,
So I was never promoted. They just asked me if
I wanted to be a like promoted up to like
such cutting meat and being an actual butcher. But I
was just cleaning crew. So I was pretty much in
charge of like cleaning the saws and like the beef

(10:16):
buckets and the grinders. Yeah, it was crazy. Can you
get that ground beef from out of that crevasse? I
worked at it. I worked at a service deli and
that's I mean, that was my job too. I just
like cleaned up after people. And it was just me
climbing into a rotisserie chicken machine, that giant machine that
just like twirls around sixty rotisserie chickens at a time,

(10:38):
and just me climbing inside of it at night and
scrubbing it, and I'm like, I'm getting paid seven dollars
and fifteen cents for this. Adams in there like a
human terrier, just like they just send you into the
It was like a little bomb dog totally. And then
but how much we did you smoke in the freezer?
That was the best part of the gig because we
would go in the freezer and smoke weed and then

(11:01):
come out and there'll be a long pass line for
sandwiches because obviously it's lunchtime, not a great time for
us to go smoke weed in the freezer. And you
come out and I'm making a sandwich for someone and
I'm too stoned, and I remember they were like, you know,
they're telling me, like, no, that's not the kind of
cheese it comes with the Monterey Jack. And I'm like,
I'm sorry. And I sliced my finger open, the tip

(11:23):
of my finger, and it was the tip of my finger,
and it's just like squirting. It's like a cartoon squirt
of blood that's coming out. And I bleed all over
this person's sandwich. And I'm too stoned, and I don't
want them to like know that I'm bleeding, and obviously
there's blood everywhere, you know. I just start to like

(11:43):
wrap it up, like I'm going to give it to him.
The person's like, what the fuck, you can't give me
that sandwich? And it goes And then I try to
act like I wasn't bleeding, and I go why and
he goes, there's blood everywhere, and I go, there, brother,
sorry about That's so wild that you would smoke weed

(12:03):
in the freezer, because we did that too. We had
a code would we say, you say, hey, man, you
want to go to Russia? And that meant go into
the giant freezers. And you had to put these giants
like for coats on to go in there because they
were massive, walking you looked like the guys with spies
like us exactly. So I just go I'd like having
a code word that brings up more questions, like if
you're doing it in front of your boss, you like,

(12:24):
want to go to Russia and the boss is like,
what they're smoking? It's not the trash or stock? Is
this like post nine eleven? They're like, we think he's
a sleeper cell. Okay, yeah, they're like, wait a minute,
we've got some terrorists working for us. Holy shit. We
used to because I worked at it. It It was a

(12:47):
grocery store. I worked at Pavilions. Was that when you
were a scab, by the way, because you know I
was a scab. No, I wasn't. I thought you were
a scab of Pavilions. Yeah, what's your no? My bad
would started three? Sorry, dude, I'm a union member and
I was out there with I got my take back. Yes,

(13:07):
and Zach and my two roommates were scabs. They were like,
how much can we get paid? And I'm like, it's
like it was an apartment. So my roommates we rode
in the same car to work, and I would go
stand outside of the picket line and then they would
cross the picket line and go inside, like for like

(13:28):
double what we got paid to do the same world.
You're like, I'll see you in in Russia, right, yeah,
but you get it. That's so. But by the way, dude,
striking for like when you're in like eighteen nineteen years
old and you're already getting paid minimum wage, so it's
like it doesn't matter that much and you still got
paid for a few weeks because you paid into the

(13:48):
union was fucking awesome because all you did with smoke
weed in a parking lot. We would drink forties and
my buddies Conversion Van and then just and then just
Hacky Sack played frisbee in the park can lot and
hold a sign. I'm like, this is a gig, but
all the like old moms and dads that working like
it's touch and go here. Dude, Well, context is everything.

(14:11):
You're like cats? Do you want to get in on
this cipher? I mean that, Hey, we're freestyle rapping over here?
Are you hack? Do you want to go to Russia? Yeah? Dude?
That was wow? When was that? That was? Like it
was pretty serious during uh, like in California. In when
was that, Like the two thousand's was right when I
moved to l A. It was the early two It

(14:33):
was like two thousand three or four four, Yeah, it was.
It was before I moved up to l A. I
was still down and I was still down in Orange County.
So it was two thousand and three and there was
a huge strike with all the grocery store employees, and
I just remember like for me, it was just like, Okay,
we're going on strike. The union tells us to go

(14:53):
on strike. I'm just holding a sign. I'm nineteen years old.
I don't give a ship Like. I'm like, okay, yeah,
sure they should get paid more. I don't know. Uh,
this is all above my head. And some guy just
teed off on me and You're like people will be
looking at me. Yeah, totally. I'm like there will be
a crowd. Uh, and you're showing up. Some teed off
on me and was like he was like, fuck you, motherfucker.

(15:14):
Uh Like you don't deserve Oh you think you deserve
fifteen dollars an hour to beg fucking groceries, you piece
of ship. And I'm like, I don't. I don't think that.
I don't know. I'm just holding the sign. Beat your
goddamn ask you son of a bitch. I was like
fine making that whatever eight dollars I was making, you know,
I'm just it's just they told me to go on strike.

(15:35):
But people were so riled up. People get so riled dude,
that's crazy. D I remember kind of not. I was like,
what twenty three or something and just going shopping for
groceries on my own for kind of the first time
as a young man, and they're like picketing and I'm
walking past it. Like, I don't know, I just need
ice creams and some sucking Eggo waffles. Excuse, just need

(15:56):
Arizona block at her and I need some stone. I
need some first, a couple of hot pockets, duck tape.
This bro got his ass beat for frozen pizza. But
that that grocery store was dope. There's all because it
was a Newport Coast. So there's all kinds of celebrities

(16:18):
that would come in. Really. For example, I remember Elizabeth
Hurley was shopping there and Shagedelic very Shagedell, I would
never ever have sex with you? Were you like, what's
your favorite city in Texas? Walked through the freezer section

(16:41):
and then came right over to my section, nipped out.
I was, I was on the moon, dude, he's like
a fembot. I was. I was like, take me to Arreussia,
And no one understood what I was talking about, right,
even you used it wrong in this instance. Right. I

(17:04):
used to work down in Newport as well, dude, I had, uh,
I had I worked at at Vans and fucking we
had a celebrity sighting once Dennis Rodman rolled up in
his well. He's a Newport legend. The Elizabeth Hurley of Man. Yeah,
so evidently the coolest people lived there. Dude. I remember

(17:25):
I had just finished like painting the curb outside, and
he rolled up with his hammer and just put his
tire right on it. Can't be legal. Was his tire
right on? A dog? What color were you painting the curve?
Was Vans checker? I think it was just repainting it
because it was Vans bro it was Vance. So you
skate outside and the curb will get kind of fucked,
and I guess I guess corporate probably wanted it painted

(17:46):
because they could. Yeah, Vans was fucking going big at
that point. You can't have evidence of skateboarding in our
parking lot. Vance is a wild ass company. They've gone like,
I mean, now they've gone nuclear. But take five in.
Let's go for it. I mean, you want to talk
about Van Dorn, go after them. They have the biggest collaborations,

(18:07):
Like out there, it's like Vans and fucking Disney and stuff.
It's like, oh my god, Yeah, I feel like, what
are they? I feel like Nike might have bigger collaborations,
but um, I said, like the biggest. I didn't say,
I definitely hear you, but they're big allegedly take back
Let me just let me write down that take back

(18:27):
rocks inside. Okay, let's starch for some scratch paper. Did
you smoke weed anywhere at that store, Kyle? Did you
smoke weed at work? Oh? Always? Yeah, in the back
because there was actually like a little annex you had
to you had to stock shoes up top, so you'd
go up the back and and stock the shoes in

(18:49):
the backstock. And that's where Russia. Yeah, it wasn't as
cold as Russia. But we used to like call it
like you know, the forest shootings. We say you want
to go like the forest and be like, yeah, no,
I didn't said that. It's just like I used to
manage that store. So it was like, that's right, how

(19:10):
did that happen? I was the third key. There was
two keys above me, but I was the third. But
like you opened up in the morning or something, Yes, sure,
I opened up. I counted the dough, I counted the inventory,
and I said, we're open. But you counted inventory every morning? Yeah? Yeah,
well not every morning, but you do count it. Yeah,

(19:31):
Because I opened up a La cost and they were
like just be awake, and I couldn't do it. You
had a key to the cost, Yeah, I opened up
because they I don't know, but probably it's because it's

(19:51):
the worst job. The fact that they gave any of
us keys, Like because the Improv I worked at the
Hollywood Improv Comedy Club, they gave me a key too,
And I'm like when they're giving it to me, They're
they're like this it's a big responsibility, like this is
the key to everything. And I'm like this, Like in
my head, I'm saying thank you, and I'm gonna be responsible.
But in my head, I'm like, I'm gonna abuse this,

(20:12):
Like without a doubt, I'm going to abuse this. And
I mean I wasn't getting drunk. I was I was
opening at ten am and like answering calls, So I'm
not going to get drunk during the day. And it's
like a place that I want to, you know, be
invited back for the rest of my life. On the weekend,
use as an apartment. But I would go and just
make myself breakfast and lunch every day, even days I'm

(20:34):
not working. I would just calm open the club up
and then go make myself breakfast and then leave. Honestly,
I think for all of you guys and getting the keys.
You guys are opening the store. It's the job nobody
wants to do those fucking early hours when there's no customers,
Like what's the damage? You could do? Make some eggs
or whatever the best because just drink the bar. We

(21:00):
were so hungover coming in there, and it was just
I was so hungover going in. You didn't want shipped
to do At that point, I was nineteen or twenty
years old. Who's going to Vans on a weekday? In
what time did you open? Like ten am? Exactly? Nobody
was there. It would just be me until the next
person came in, and then you're just working like well
I counted the shoes, Hey there's two of each. Still

(21:23):
did you ever go like what are you doing here
at Vans on a weekend? You ever called him out
on that ship man about being at Vans on a weekend,
Like who does that? Like? Who is at Vans on
the weekend? Rodman? Why are you pulling up here on
the weekend? Dennis Well Rodman was still awake. He had
just got offset of Double Team. You know, he ain't

(21:43):
know a day it was at all. He was like, yeah,
that bro doesn't know what time, what day. I remember.
I just wished he was wearing a rod Zilla shirt.
I like always thought when I met Rodd be wearing
a Rodzilla shirt, like a might have been underneath the
one that you wore all the time. Yeah, I still
have it. I still have it. Got to that bash
at the beach. God, that's a relic. I see him

(22:05):
kind of often in Newport. Every once in a while,
I'll just it's like it's just like seeing and he
looks like a six ft seven lizard. Hell's he doesn't
even look like a human being. He's just like you
just like turn her and all of a sudden, it's
just like giant lizard man. People call him the worm.
Yeah he was the word. But if you see the
lizard once, you're like, there's the lizard. He just looks

(22:29):
fucking bizarre and it's pretty pretty off putting. It looks
like a lizard, or like not a worm, a lizard worm,
not a worm, more of a lizard. He's more scaly
than he was than he used to be. He's a
little scarily. It's like rock any von Dutch. Wait a minute,

(22:51):
none of us rocked von Dutch? Did they wait? Hold on,
what did you say. I said, I had a job,
and then oh, somebody started talking about Von Dutch. Dutch cool. Sorry,
I just watched a Von Dutch documentary and so evidently
like the guy like killed people. It's like crazy that
those stories fucking inside. Yeah, no, it's super sick. And

(23:12):
I don't think any of our crew really rocked. I
think they were too expensive for us at the time
in the early two thousand's, were like, oh, that's a
fort Also they were horrible. Yeah yeah, and they said,
you know what I rocked, They're horrible. Zipper remember Von
Zipper sunglasses. That's fine, the sunglasses, those are fine. Yeah, dude,
straight up like glass lenses. Right, they were nice. It

(23:34):
was it was a flex tell us about your sick
ass job, dog, this job. Did you smoke weed in it? Dude?
I had a job. No, it was just about the
opening in in college. I worked at Northwestern University in
like the athletic facility thing, and they had like all
these um racquetball courts, but one of them was designated
for like kids to play while their parents worked out. Right, Yeah,

(23:57):
it's a big I'm really gonna bend it back to
pickleball um, but so I think it. I had to
be there at eight in the morning, but always was
out the night before, and I would just bike over there,
get there like eight or seven, throw all the toys
out of the closet into the racquetball place, go shower

(24:18):
in the locker room, and then just roll back and
find a parent like waiting there with their kids and
be like, Hey, what's up, let's do this. Or I
would just go lay down on like the play mat
and sleep until like the door went and I sit
up like, hey, good morning. I'd have a book on
my chest, so tired, just the best, and if nobody

(24:38):
showed up, I could sleep for like another hour and
a half. Oh man, I remember sleeping at work, like
taking long ass bathroom breaks where you would just literally
sleep on the toilet just like didn't didn't even go
in there to use the restroom. Would you sit backwards
and like your arms on the back of the toilet.
That's brilliant, Damn. I should have a c slater the
toilet and took a quick what are you doing? Your

(25:01):
face was on the bowl? What's going on? But yeah,
what are you doing? Yeah? I'm on you lean against
the stall or like like airplane style. Yeah, how do
you do? I'm like falling asleep like an old security guard,
just like sitting, you know, with my chin. You know
one time Kyle fell asleep on a pogo stick while
setting a world record. It's possible. I used to sleep

(25:21):
against the side, sleep against the wall when I needed naps. Bro,
that was that was tough. But get this book, a
world record. Look it up, everybody looking up out there,
your boy the record. Now here's the question. Yeah, you
want to talk. We ever jerk off that words? I know,
I know we smoked tweet at work? At word? Did

(25:45):
anybody work at a church and jerk off? Words? What's
going on without him today? Right? Human chunking? But yeah,
did you get a jerk off at work? Or this
was a strict no jerk off strictly uh spoke weed

(26:07):
strictly dickly bro. Well, I mean I was, well, it's
always like you did. Okay, great, But what's the story, yeah,
well or professional? Well, uh no, I don't think I
ever did. I wanted to catch I wanted to. I

(26:27):
don't think I did. I don't think I did. I
think all my jerk off stories were at TJ Max
under my starter jacket, trying to think if I did
at work at the Workaholics, well, the Workaholics office doesn't count.
You had to have I definitely jerked off at the
Workaholics office. The Workaholics house was technically our work for
a little bit. Allegedly I jerked off at al sets.

(26:50):
Allegedly I definitely jerked off under my desk at the Workholic.
Technically you guys lived at the house. So definitely, that's
what I'm saying, exactly exactly. Adam couldn't come unless he
had a man knocking at his door in the morning.
The butler guys. You guys are telling me late nights,
we're working late. You're in your office, no one's around.

(27:11):
You didn't crank one down at the desk office. Probably
no I did. Yeah, I just imagined like a ghost
taking the reins, you know what I mean. It would
not have been I don't think it would have been
late night for me. It wouldn't have been for fun.
It was early morning if anything for me, because I
used to open up that office all the like vans,

(27:31):
so it was man, they die hard. I'm gonna go
to Russia. That was when I had my time. He
used to jerk off into half cabs. Dude, it was
just it was just a night out. Yeah, it's shugo
bro nights. He's leaving. You're just in the hallway cranking down.
Whoops you ever jack, just when you just walk around

(27:55):
with your cock out? Will you explain night ol night out?
Night Ol was our night assistant, our editorial assistant. Legend
it goes Dennis Rodman night owl, that's my legend, Ladder.
Let's also explain what a nighttime assistant for editing. Yeah,
so a nighttime assistant basically takes the cards, the memory
cards from what you shot on the day and downloads

(28:18):
them and imports them into the editing software or the
AVID and they have the horrible job of doing that
overnight so that the editors the next day can start
to cut. Yes, And it's not like labor intensive, right,
you just have to kind of be there to get
it done. It's stressful, but it's not labor intensive because
if you lose the footage, there's a lot of downtime.

(28:39):
If you lose the footage, you're you're fucked. You are fucked,
you're dead. So basically, every saying I'm thinking the same
night assistant is just cranking down constantly. You're constantly cranking Yeah, dude,
that was one of my first jobs. I was a
night assistant and I did have keys to that place

(29:01):
well as well. And yes, yes, sir, there's some downtime
and that keys we're getting strokes. Yeah, that when you
were at Porno, because that that would lend itself to
know I was assistant. I was an assistant editor at
a trailer house, at the trailer house in Santa Monica

(29:24):
who remained unnamed. How did we get back to this?
How do we get back to this every week? Back
to beating us? Is just like, these are real questions.
These are real questions that guys have from each other. Hey, sorry,
we can't get away from it, Sorry about it? Haunted

(29:44):
by it? You want to peek behind behind the curtain,
brother behind the curtain. And you guys wonder about Hollywood
with the boys, talk about a lot of downtime. Very
I told you about the time that that came on.
That's exact thing came on when I was working at
the when I was teaching at the school that we're
remain a name. But I used to have to plug in.

(30:06):
I used to have to plug into the the projector.
I would plug in and just open it up, and
one greatest spear of teachers, right, can happen? Oh yeah,
like you put your laptop on, you got the projector going,
you just prayed the God above that you didn't leave
a fucking porno tabot. Oh God, so embarrassing. But it happens, brother,

(30:28):
so embarrassing, and it's like, well, all right, what's next?
All right? Who did that? Who did their homework? When
did that? When you were teaching there, you were also
like their age, so they would get it. I feel
like it would be weirder if you were like, yeah,
Adam's right, you gotta let it ride. What's the whole ride?

(30:49):
They get it? Yeah, just be like you did this.
I think it's an easier pill to swallow you if
you're a swallow. If you were just like, you know,
I'm also your rage. Obviously, I'm cranking down, Adam. You're
taking so much time on the thing that you just
you sweep to the side and just move on. You're like, okay,

(31:10):
so obviously we all saw that porno was on my computer.
Let's let's talk about this for a while humans have urges. Okay,
your hand if you have an urge, No, let's talk
about it, dude. This is an editing class. We don't

(31:30):
do you guys know what Paul's are p A W G.
Fatass white girl. What you know what? This is a
good way to learn how to edit porno. This is
huge the compression rate on this. Look at the cuts here. Okay,
this is a gonzo This is gonzo porno, and it's

(31:50):
a good example of wind not to cut when you're
I'm not familiar with blacks. You're about to be hold it.
Hold it in here. Watch the editing. His come shot
was hour later. This is what we call a compilation.
It's just like a montage. It's many clips cut together. Really,

(32:11):
it's really choppy. Wait, that's what you gotta do. It's
the most bang for your buck. You lean into your
sco This is over on purpose. Today we're talking about montages.
This is called the compilation version of montages. And I
know what you're thinking, I got caught. Nope, this is
on purpose. Just do This is on purpose, and we

(32:32):
are investigating how they cut this film. Okay, right, and
there is the dean of the school. Hold on one second.
This is a secret class. Let's turn it off. Let's
go back to the regular He's gonna want to see this.
Ok we've We've got a minute of them all dancing
in bikinis, and we cut to a minute of them
h disrobing. Now we got another very very kinky clip. Yes, yeah, yeah,

(32:53):
I could have got with something a little softcore. I
went wildly, wildly hardcore gaping buddles. Okay, and I closed.
That's happened. There's another one. Okay, how many tabs? Who did?
Who did the second tab? Can anybody tell me how
many lights that they're using to light this set? Here? Zero?
That's right. This is more along the lines of the

(33:16):
Dogma filmmakers, of which Segway is the Lars von Tarier
Porno or art. Speaking of Dogma, this clip this is
dog fart dot com. Okay, but it's Maline. Wait, what
was it Dogma? Did I ever tell you guys about

(33:43):
the time I was called I don't know. I might
have told this story on the podcast. I'm not sure,
but I was caught jerking off by my mom and well,
I'm in the basement and I'm a senior in high school,
and you enter through my garage and you will go
right into the basement. It's an old puter. It takes
forever to like download or upload porns via the Sublime directory.

(34:07):
And there were so many pop ups, and so there's
just like a hundred pop ups to pop up. And
I hear the road short coming on and I'm trying
to is this the yeah, And I'm trying to click
out of it quickly. Yeah. I jump on the couch.
She comes in and my mom looks at the computer
and she goes, Mom is pretty Chille. She's like, you

(34:27):
disgusting me? Yeah, you discussed me. Yes, And then I
go upstairs and why did she say your boobs are huge?
Because if Brittany had seen this art, I did tell
it it's a classic. It's because the physical it was

(34:48):
like hot brother on Sister action and it was two
siblings fucking, which is a weird. It's a weird pop up.
Why is that a pop up? It really pisces me off.
It doesn't piss you guys off? That Like that's so prevalent?
Are we talking about this? Can we cut commercial? Yeah?
Well but it's step right ye step yea. But still

(35:10):
it's like what allegedly. It's just I'm not I'm not
justifying it. I'm not justifying it. I'm just saying it's
your steps like sister or whatever. You're like, hey, probably
have been around them for most of your life, and
now you want to fuck him. That's gross. Guys. Let's
let's not bury the freaking headline here. You know what

(35:32):
started it all? What do you guys? Remember the movie Clueless?
The whole movie is about Paul Rudd being her stepbrother
and Atlicia Silverstone wants to bone him. No, he works
at the dad's law firm. No, they're they're step people together,
brother and sister, siblings. I don't think so. I don't
really remember that movie. But you're forgetting you're forgetting the

(35:55):
Brady Bunch. Wait what happened in that we that's true,
we're all forgetting the Brady b Yeah, we were eased
into this. Our generation was pointed this way by Hollywood.
Let's go, Brandon, all right, let's go. They were stepped,
but then parents got divorced and clueless and then they're like,
can can we hook up? And they're like, now we can, dude.

(36:18):
That's a weird ass storyline. Paul Rudd's character or the
other guy, Paul rudds she likes Paul Rudd because, oh yeah,
because remember they have like kind of kind of have
like a weird they have a weird little relationship where
they jab at each other and then they get like
they break up and they're like, so now can we date?
And the thing is the thing is how how many
years were they together? Like if if it's I think

(36:41):
it's fits over three years. I think that's a name.
Like if it's a quick marriage, if they were your
sibilis for three years and your teenagers and you kind
of really don't even talk to each other, and then
three years later, okay, and then they get a divorced,
they're like, okay, maybe and there were sparks there. Maybe
maybe that stokes. So are we sure that it was

(37:01):
Paul Rudd, that was the stepbrother. It wasn't the other guy. No,
it was Paul rush I'm pretty sure it was Paul. Yeah.
At the end of the movie, why did he also
work for the dad's law firm? On top of that,
I don't remember that detail, sir. Did he work for
his dad? Is it his dad? Don't remember that he
worked for the eyebrow, the dad who was like the
cool eyebrow guy in like Blood, Blood Simple and all

(37:23):
sorts of other movies. Well, in Brady Bunch, it was very,
very apparent. It was clear that Marcia and Greg wanted
to f and I think they did well, yes, but
that was like they were playing the comedy of that
hard clueless is kind of like this, like you don't
see it coming, and that then at the end is right, yes,
you know you're being swept up in this sick ass movie.

(37:44):
Scared of the Freeway is what's her name? Still, Let's
go Brandon? Um from the Kanyeh Stacy, Oh, the most
beautiful woman in the whole goddamn world. She still Let's
go Brandon? What a god? I think let's go Brandon.
Yeah yeah, but she is just America. She's the best

(38:07):
swept up, He's the best. What is that again? What's
that from the little that's that very old viral clip
of James Brown doing that interview? Is that when he's
like I look good, I smell good. Yeah, he's like
super on something and he's about to go on tour
and they're like trying to talk to him about old
allegations He's just like I feel good. Yeah, he's the best.

(38:33):
That's the way, and just move forward. God, that's just
keep pushing. Did he smell good? Like, what do you
think his cologne was? James Brown? Nothing so much. He
bathed in it, had colo, he had a sense. Yeah,
he sex machine. Baby, you don't think he just was
like my pheromones are on point because he was the

(38:53):
ladies man of an era. You know, I actually don't
feel I'm educated enough to answer this. Yeah, I don't know,
like just generally, I did not graduate college. I don't
understand the question. Also, guys of that generation did wear
a lot of cologne. I think he was. He had
his signature sent Ax body spray. Yes, that's clean. You

(39:20):
just spray yourself with that. That's like a shower. Hey,
that's like that's like an alarm clock. Same era. Remember
when they would say like pits to hips or whatever?
What was it acts to be like just go pits
to hips And you were like, yeah, pits to chesty.
It was Adam. Did you book that commercial? Oh double pits? Yes,

(39:44):
thank you. I definitely auditioned for it. There was a
AX body, wasn't an AX theoder and body spray commercial?
Was that the commercial? I can't remember. It was like
a motocross thing where the dude like goes off the
ramp and then while he was like air, he goes
double pits to chest. Yeah, no, I'm the one I

(40:06):
did was in Vegas. I did a Vegas xodor. I
thought he's pretty much. But that always kind of weird
to me out because I don't spray my chest with deodorant.
Do you guys spray your chest with theodor? Nobody does.
They wanted you to waste that they had to buy
more like get through this cant as quickly as possible. Yea, sir.
I definitely in the day in high school when I
was really nineties, when I was really worried about how

(40:30):
I smell, I definitely did pit pit and then hit
it right on the chest with stick deodorant. What what yo?
Did you have like a I'll break on your chest? Um? No.
I never had problems with like body did your shirt
weirdly like clump up and stick to you in like
weird ways where it's like not where anybody mentioned it

(40:52):
to me. I didn't are you rocking gel or roll on?
Like stick? Also, was there like a weird stain right there,
you know how like you're when you put deodorant on,
like too thick, and then you put a T shirt
on and then it's like a little wet. Yeah. Do
you guys remember the click deodorant? Like the click jo
like and then he just gobbed it on your ship.
I did that ship because it was new, and I'm like,

(41:14):
let's go, let's let's go brand, let's go. Wasn't like
right Guard or something or like it was across the board.
It was across the board. It's just a new tech
bean stick. I think fun with that. I think right
Guard kicked it off, though, Kyle, I think I think
you're right about that. I think you might be right
with your deodorant. Yeah, I was a right Guard, dude.
I definitely is that anything less is uncivilized. I don't

(41:39):
know if that's right Guard. That was freaking Hulk Hogan
like painting a picture and yeah, that commercial rock what
is that? Right? Anything less would be uncivilized. I think
that was right Guard or by Man. Well, that's just
a company that made a lot, like a lot. It
is right Guards, right Guard. Anything else that's tight would

(42:00):
be uncivilized. I didn't I I was on Brute for
a little bit in high school. Great smell. Yeah, And
and then I switched it to old Spice because I
think all the homies were rocking with old Spice, and
I'm like, okay, I will be a part of the game.
Were old I feel. I feel like old Spice is
just far and away the leader. Now crazy I still wear,

(42:24):
but it also smells so good. I feel my my
grandfather was an old Spice guy, and then I became
an old Spice guy, and then I stuck with it.
I don't know if I've ever fucked with anything else.
Yeah wait, what what have you ever gone into? Their
like breakoff offshoot flavors like swagger? So yeah, I don't
go swagger. I do go sport or pure sport because

(42:47):
when I when I want my I wanted to smell, like,
let me say something. They got to bring this back.
There was a there was a scent called I believe
it's called gridiron. That was the chain swagger. I don't
love of pure sports. Okay, it's all about fresh o
g to me is the one. But the Gridiron was

(43:08):
out of hand. I was about to fund myself even
that smell. What is like women smell like actual things.
It's like lilac or you know, it's like a flowers.
And then we smell like sports. Well men are we
smell like ideas? Oh? Yeah, what are the smells? What?
What is grid like an island smell like? I don't know,

(43:28):
I wish I knew in it's old spice. It's spices
from the old world. They're spices that have been forgotten. Like,
you don't even know old spice, Gridiron, it's old. You're right,
it's some old spices they found that they're like I
guess people won't even know. People are using like just
salt and pepper. Now these are old spices foods. Yeah,

(43:54):
I mean best commercials also for I just pepper best commercial.
They lean into the weird commercials. But that was like
a game changer. Those are like and Eric commercials, aren't they?
Tim and Eric killed the I think it was Eric
Wareheim directed. But even before those where they would be
like Roger, it was like what was before that one

(44:16):
was that you're looking here? Now you're looking I'm on
a horse. If you don't remember, I'm not telling you, Okay,
that guy, that guy came to our house. Blake what
was it? The old spice guy on the horses? How
what you're talking about? Like, what's his name? Yeah? Right something?

(44:37):
My friend used to date him. My friend c J
used to date him and he came to one of
our house parties. Oh yeah, that would be cool if
I just like lost my mind superstar strugg I'm like,
oh my god, I guarantee you what happens all the time.
I want to say he was in it or it too? Also,
really so he's still out here? Yeah he's doing it? Man?

(45:00):
Were you and it too? What do you mean he's
still out here working? Bitch? He wasn't. It's too. That's
freaking cool. I haven't. I haven't kept tabs on dude.
I I know he's a freaking legend in the game.
I just he was at our house party and you
didn't even clock him to Well, now I'm pissed. I
must have been. You're like, oh, he's still working, shute.
I'm not cute, man, I'm hyped for my boy. You

(45:21):
must have been eyeing that. You must have been eyeing
that beer punk. Oh yeah, I was probably drinking on
some jungle juice. Dude was saved. Dude, just a barrel
of like a bunch of mixed drink. It was safe.
This was this is when we lived on the in
the Dinosaur House. This is a post jungle juice Erah, okay, okay,

(45:44):
got you. I remember when we used to funk up
jungle juice and that was that was a very nice too,
in big gas tubs. Bro. We used to do it
in garbage garbage. Can you I remember you? I remember
very clearly you addressed as a treasure troll. I was
dressed as a treasure troll as a Halloween party, a
stirring jungle juice with a fucking two by four. Oh

(46:07):
that's boss. It was, yeah, with a two by four
that we like found outside. It was gross. It was dope.
That's life. Dope only because only because I had been
to frat houses and I had seen how they make
jungle juice, and I'm like, yeah, it's just a ton
of ship. We'll just do it like that. And then
also our parties, there's only like twenty people there, you
know what I mean. It wasn't like a frat It

(46:28):
wasn't like a frat party where there's like people there
to drink this. And then of course you turn it
into like a challenge, is like we gotta fit like this.
It was just like every type of alcohol we possibly could. Well, dude,
do you remember after that ship Teddy friend of the

(46:49):
show put the fucking ship into like uh like jars
like tupperware and put it in the fridge. It was like, yeah,
so we took the jungle out of a trash can
put in the fridge, and then that became the challenge
for the next like fucking year, Like they were like

(47:09):
in our kitchen to drink it for the next year.
It was like who wants to go after the jungle juice? Like,
let's do it breakfast. J does it go bad? It's
pure alcohol. I remember at that party. I remember at
that party I mixed for energy drinks mixed with vodka
and beer bond it and my heart almost exploded. I

(47:34):
remember immediately, like on the last gulp was like and
that was the worst idea I've ever had in my life. Goodbye?
How fun was it to be around you? After that?
That was my heart beat so scary, so scary. Yeah,
it's like he's gonna die. He's because I'm like, oh,
this is a funky beat. He just turned into human

(47:55):
jungle music. Dude, it's terrible. Are there any takebacks of
Paul Gees giveaways? I would like to um take back
to ourselves are year old selves for drinking that jungle juice.
I feel like that was a poor decision and we
probably took I wish there was like a little tracker
this is now. This is a good app no, where

(48:20):
you just kind of put in like what you're about
to do, and then that shows you how much time
that's going to take off your life and you can
go like that, oh shit, oh ship this actually this
drinking this jungle juice will take like a week and
a half off my life. Maybe it's not worth it,
or maybe it is. Would you do anything what like
change his lifestyle? My bro is still gonna say? Or
do you think it would be like now a contest

(48:42):
where it's like, ye know that only took five years
off your life, Watch this, I'm gonna take ten years.
I'm gonna take That's what I'm saying. If we could
walk up to each other and flash our app and
show how many lifetime burritos we ate and then like
just be like yo, dude, I'm like twenty ahead of
you right now. Wait, do you have any take Yeah?

(49:04):
I do have. I rushed something down, Adam. I'm sorry
I called you a scab. Yeah, thank you. I know
you weren't. You were actually on the picket lines and
you are a freaking soldier for that, dude, and I
respect you. Thank you. If I worked there, what it
took you to Russia? It would have been sick. I'm dude.
We would have been going to Russia, dude, several times. Russia.

(49:25):
We would have been living in Russia. What is the
Is it from Russia? Were from Russia? With love? The
Is that a Bond movie from Russia? James Bond movie? Yes?
From us? Think of something fun to say from Russia
with blonds? I don't know, okay doing it? Thank you?

(49:45):
We want to work on that. Do you want to
go to Russia with nugs? Yes? That's good. I don't, Uh, Kyle,
you got any takebox giveaways? Apologize? Oh, dude, I do
have take back. Last week I said I did not
sign up for the pickleball tournament. I got an email.
I guess I did. Sorry pickball tilling that so I

(50:07):
didn't I didn't pay. I didn't pay, so I thought
that I didn't sign up. But then I got an
email saying we've reserved the spot for you, and so
I guess they signed, they recognized the name, they reserved
it without even paying, which I want to thank Monterey Pickleball.
Kyle knew it yet. But that's a take back from
last time, Adam, you were off pod with some chunks,

(50:29):
since I was I was chunk. That sucked. Just for
those of of our listeners that are following along to
the saga of that are really yeah, really hanging on,
just going like, but what about the pickaball? Where is
he with that? So that's good you're keeping them up
today exactly, and that's what makes this another episode of

(51:00):
s