February 25, 2021 • 12 mins
Paris admits she doesn't look or feel like herself today. After catching a glimpse of herself, she reveals she often hides behind her sunglasses. While sharing her own moment of insecurity, the discussion turns to her friend Britney. Paris sheds some light on what it’s like being in the media spotlight and the current conversation around the “Framing Britney Spears” documentary.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Paris. Are you feeling right now? Paris Beyond?
I keep like looking at myself in the camera and
I just feel I don't know, I just feel insecure
(00:22):
and weird. I don't like it and secure about what
that's the way I look right now. I don't know.
I just don't look like myself. This looks like I
have like puffy eyes. I don't know. I literally, I
don't know. We're looking at different paris Is. I think
you look amazing, um, but I do think that's probably
I mean, I think everybody looking at themselves in a
(00:44):
camera thinks that they look a little bit funky half
the time. So not alone, does this? Does this like
get you down down? Or is it like annoying? Does
it like ruin your day? Are you pretty it about
like getting over it? No, it's not going to ruin
my day. But I know that for this podcast, like
(01:06):
part of it is like video because I want people
to be able to see as well. Sometimes so I'm
just thinking about how people are gonna just, I don't know,
judge me and make fun of me or something. Why
they Why would they make fun of you? Because I mean, really,
I don't think anybody's going to notice puffy eyes on
(01:28):
you right now. I would tell you if it looked
like you were having an allergic reaction to something. But yeah,
plus I think you've you know, you've also had a
very very impressive week. You know, like lot's happened, so
everybody would understand if you're a little bit tired. Yeah,
I just don't like it. I'm wearing sunglasses now. Is
(01:50):
this is like, Yes, it's a good solve. That's a
great solve. I'm actually really shy, which a lot of
people don't know. And that's why I wear sunglasses a lot,
because it makes me not shy. Like I learned that
from Adam Sandler and that movie Big Big Daddy puts
the glasses and a little boy and he's like, you
(02:11):
put these on and invisible, and I was like, oh,
that's a good idea. I think I remember seeing that
and going I'm never putting sunglasses on again. I love
this and I love the attention. I don't want anybody
to think that invisible. Have you been shy since you
were a child. Um, when I was little, I wasn't
that shy, but then I think after what I went through,
(02:35):
just like as a teenager, at those schools that just
kind of made me shy because they were just I
was just so scared of people. So then it just
made me like weird and insecure since then, but before
I wasn't. Yeah, I saw in the documentary you were
kind of like a little tiny Broadway performer at home
with the camera and everything and doing runaway modeling shoots
(02:58):
with your sister and stuff. And then to say you're shy,
I feel like that must have been a pretty, uh,
pretty big moment. You talked about it that the schools
in the documentary. Did uh do you feel like you've
started that recovery process yet to kind of resume being yourself.
Do you feel like you're five percent of the way
the way back to normal? Um? I don't think you
(03:21):
ever really get over something like that. So it's something
that will always be with me. But um, I'm learning
to not let it control my life anymore. So I
kind of I don't forget about it, but I feel
more secure than I did back then. Definitely. But it
takes a lot of time. Yeah, it takes a lot
(03:44):
of time. Or one trip to Peru for ayahuasca, so
we can look at look at booking some tickets sick. Yeah,
that's uh. I think that's a pretty, uh, pretty relatable
thing for a lot of the listeners. They I think
a lot of people and their kids, they have this
invincibility of youth, and then you get a little bit
(04:07):
older and you start realizing, like, oh, I have pressures
on me. People are judging me. I'm not like I
can be hurt, and it becomes scary if you if
you let it be scary, which I feel like most
people do. Yeah, definitely, especially just having to grow up
in the public eye. And even recently, I've been just
(04:28):
reading just all of these articles coming out where they
were just saying, like Brittany Paris and just like a
group of us were just treated so unfairly and just
like this really misogynistic view and just being very cruel
and mean and making fun of us. And I don't know,
I just I never really thought about it as much
(04:48):
as I'm watching and reading all these articles and people
talking on social media just saying just how unfair it
was to treat a young girl like that, And I
don't know, just made me think a lot this week
reading all these new things that are coming out after
the Brittany film, yeah, which I saw, and it is
(05:09):
really sad to think one what they did into how
the world kind of accepted the judgment that everybody put
on I mean, honestly a lot of women, but specifically
you guys who were so in the public light. Did
uh have you talked to Brittany and all about that?
(05:29):
I haven't spoken to her in a few months, and um,
I haven't even watched the film yet because I've been
so busy, but I do want to watch it, maybe
tonight or in the next couple of days. But um,
I heard. It's just really really sad movie. And I
don't know, it makes me really feel for her because
she's such a sweet girl and has such a big heart,
and I just can't imagine being controlled like that, you know,
(05:52):
when you're an adult and you've worked your whole life
for building this empire and then just to be treated
like a child is just not there. Yeah, it's really
really sad. Um you, uh, you definitely have some I
think you have some really nice words for her in
the documentary. You talk about your guys relationship back then,
and I think it's it's important for the people watching
(06:14):
to realize that, like she had people around her, and
she has a lot of people, Like everybody who talks
about Brittany says the nicest things, and everybody wants that
conservatorship to be changed, if not ended completely. I mean,
you kind of she's had her power taken away, her
power of decision over her life, and I think if
(06:36):
anybody can understand what that feels like, it's you after
what happened to you when you were younger. So I mean,
just probably trigger warning. When you watch this, you might
you might experience some stuff because it's it's harsh for anybody,
but I feel like someone who's been through a situation
like that, it could be pretty intense. Yeah, that's what
I've heard so far. Just I don't know, reading on
Twitter and just reading the comments sections. All the fans
(06:59):
and people who have watched said that, like after watching
This is Paris and then watching Brittany's documentary after, like,
I just have a whole nail way of thinking about
both of them, and my heart just breaks for the
way that they have been treated in life. I don't know,
such just something I've been thinking about a lot recently.
One thing that she talked about a lot was the
(07:19):
paparazzi kind of how horrible they were. And I can't
think of a person who probably had a more similar
experience than you. Um, was it as awful as it sounded.
It looked like it was. It was just out of control.
Just from the moment I would wake up and leave
(07:41):
my house until I would go to bed, they'd be
chasing me. Sometimes they'd be fifty cars and they were
just this was before social media, so pictures now, I
think because of social media, we already post something so
it becomes less, you know, worth less to them because
it's already out there. And back then they were the
ones putting everything out so you know, to get a
(08:04):
shot people. It was like a war almost where they
were just fighting over it and they didn't care what
would happen, or if you got in a car accident,
like they'd probably be happy because then they get crazier
pictures and just crying and trying to get away from
them sometimes because you know, I think there's a time
and place for that, Like it's okay if you're at
the MTV Awards or at a premiere or somewhere where
(08:25):
you know they're going to be on the red carpet
for work, but when it's your private life every single day,
but just it would be just overwhelming, just a lot um.
But I've always just tried to, you know, put a
smile on my face and be sweet and nice because
I feel that, you know, some celebrities will give the
(08:46):
middle finger, or they'll push them or just do mean
things to them, and then that's what they want, because
that's you know, they get some crazy shot of you
where you end up looking bad even though you're just
trying to protect yourself. But um, yeah, it's a weird,
weird world. Yeah, I think obviously, me being in this industry,
I like the idea of having the freedom of being
(09:10):
really successful, Like I'd love to be able to create
the shows I want to do and with that, for
a lot of people in this industry comes that level
of fame at some point. Obviously you guys had it
to a point where it doesn't even really exist anymore.
Like that level of attention from paparazzi is just kind
of a thing. Even the biggest stars in the world
do not have to deal with that today. And I
think sometimes people see like today's paparazzi and go that's
(09:31):
not so bad and they don't realize it was horrible.
It was like just a turf woar, and you were
kind of this like prize on the field. Um. But
someone told me once they're like she was an assistant
for a very very famous group of people, and she
said a lot of people think they want this level
of fame, but it is just a bottle that you
(09:52):
can never put the cap back on. Um. And it
kind of was like a little bit shocking at me.
I was like, yeah, I guess I've never really thought
about it. You can get it, but you can't turn
it off if you do, Yeah, it's it's out of control. Sometimes,
would you have wanted to not have that fame if
like someone gave you a magic switch and said you
(10:14):
don't have to prepare of Hilton anymore, you can be
a regular person. Would you have pressed that switch? Maybe?
I don't know. So sometimes I love what I do
because I get to do all these things I love,
and I love my fans, and just building this empire
is very exciting, but I wish you know, that part
(10:36):
is the part that is annoying, just you know, the
media making up stories, the paparazzi being crazy, and annoying
and just I don't know, the bad parts about it
are parts that I wouldn't want. So sometimes I just
wish that I just, you know, always had this normal life.
But I don't know. I think I was just born
to do this. Yeah, you dealt with a lot, so
(11:00):
I feel like you've come out on the other side
pretty strong. And it seems like with everything you're doing,
with all the advocacy, you're only getting stronger. You're only
getting more confident in your own skin again, which is amazing.
So I hope this is a sign to Ah, to
everybody that you know, that little Paris that was dressing
up and doing ballroom gowns in the living room is
(11:20):
is coming back strong. Yes, And yeah, like what you
just said about just my advocacy work and everything I'm doing,
it's amazing because I think when you can use your
fame for something that's good, it's just like an incredible feeling.
And I've done a lot of things I'm proud of
in my life, but this is by far the thing
I'm most proud of to have actually, you know, used
(11:43):
what I have something that's really good and really important
and going to really just change the lives of so
many children now and in the future, so it's exciting. Well,
I think that's amazing. Congratulations on getting the bill passed
and thank you for sharing Paris. Thank you, this is Paris.
This is Paris. Are you feeling right now? Paris Beyond?
I keep like looking at myself in the camera and
I just feel I don't know, I just feel insecure
(00:22):
and weird. I don't like it and secure about what
that's the way I look right now. I don't know.
I just don't look like myself. This looks like I
have like puffy eyes. I don't know. I literally, I
don't know. We're looking at different paris Is. I think
you look amazing, um, but I do think that's probably
I mean, I think everybody looking at themselves in a
(00:44):
camera thinks that they look a little bit funky half
the time. So not alone, does this? Does this like
get you down down? Or is it like annoying? Does
it like ruin your day? Are you pretty it about
like getting over it? No, it's not going to ruin
my day. But I know that for this podcast, like
(01:06):
part of it is like video because I want people
to be able to see as well. Sometimes so I'm
just thinking about how people are gonna just, I don't know,
judge me and make fun of me or something. Why
they Why would they make fun of you? Because I mean, really,
I don't think anybody's going to notice puffy eyes on
(01:28):
you right now. I would tell you if it looked
like you were having an allergic reaction to something. But yeah,
plus I think you've you know, you've also had a
very very impressive week. You know, like lot's happened, so
everybody would understand if you're a little bit tired. Yeah,
I just don't like it. I'm wearing sunglasses now. Is
(01:50):
this is like, Yes, it's a good solve. That's a
great solve. I'm actually really shy, which a lot of
people don't know. And that's why I wear sunglasses a lot,
because it makes me not shy. Like I learned that
from Adam Sandler and that movie Big Big Daddy puts
the glasses and a little boy and he's like, you
(02:11):
put these on and invisible, and I was like, oh,
that's a good idea. I think I remember seeing that
and going I'm never putting sunglasses on again. I love
this and I love the attention. I don't want anybody
to think that invisible. Have you been shy since you
were a child. Um, when I was little, I wasn't
that shy, but then I think after what I went through,
(02:35):
just like as a teenager, at those schools that just
kind of made me shy because they were just I
was just so scared of people. So then it just
made me like weird and insecure since then, but before
I wasn't. Yeah, I saw in the documentary you were
kind of like a little tiny Broadway performer at home
with the camera and everything and doing runaway modeling shoots
(02:58):
with your sister and stuff. And then to say you're shy,
I feel like that must have been a pretty, uh,
pretty big moment. You talked about it that the schools
in the documentary. Did uh do you feel like you've
started that recovery process yet to kind of resume being yourself.
Do you feel like you're five percent of the way
the way back to normal? Um? I don't think you
(03:21):
ever really get over something like that. So it's something
that will always be with me. But um, I'm learning
to not let it control my life anymore. So I
kind of I don't forget about it, but I feel
more secure than I did back then. Definitely. But it
takes a lot of time. Yeah, it takes a lot
(03:44):
of time. Or one trip to Peru for ayahuasca, so
we can look at look at booking some tickets sick. Yeah,
that's uh. I think that's a pretty, uh, pretty relatable
thing for a lot of the listeners. They I think
a lot of people and their kids, they have this
invincibility of youth, and then you get a little bit
(04:07):
older and you start realizing, like, oh, I have pressures
on me. People are judging me. I'm not like I
can be hurt, and it becomes scary if you if
you let it be scary, which I feel like most
people do. Yeah, definitely, especially just having to grow up
in the public eye. And even recently, I've been just
(04:28):
reading just all of these articles coming out where they
were just saying, like Brittany Paris and just like a
group of us were just treated so unfairly and just
like this really misogynistic view and just being very cruel
and mean and making fun of us. And I don't know,
I just I never really thought about it as much
(04:48):
as I'm watching and reading all these articles and people
talking on social media just saying just how unfair it
was to treat a young girl like that, And I
don't know, just made me think a lot this week
reading all these new things that are coming out after
the Brittany film, yeah, which I saw, and it is
(05:09):
really sad to think one what they did into how
the world kind of accepted the judgment that everybody put
on I mean, honestly a lot of women, but specifically
you guys who were so in the public light. Did
uh have you talked to Brittany and all about that?
(05:29):
I haven't spoken to her in a few months, and um,
I haven't even watched the film yet because I've been
so busy, but I do want to watch it, maybe
tonight or in the next couple of days. But um,
I heard. It's just really really sad movie. And I
don't know, it makes me really feel for her because
she's such a sweet girl and has such a big heart,
and I just can't imagine being controlled like that, you know,
(05:52):
when you're an adult and you've worked your whole life
for building this empire and then just to be treated
like a child is just not there. Yeah, it's really
really sad. Um you, uh, you definitely have some I
think you have some really nice words for her in
the documentary. You talk about your guys relationship back then,
and I think it's it's important for the people watching
(06:14):
to realize that, like she had people around her, and
she has a lot of people, Like everybody who talks
about Brittany says the nicest things, and everybody wants that
conservatorship to be changed, if not ended completely. I mean,
you kind of she's had her power taken away, her
power of decision over her life, and I think if
(06:36):
anybody can understand what that feels like, it's you after
what happened to you when you were younger. So I mean,
just probably trigger warning. When you watch this, you might
you might experience some stuff because it's it's harsh for anybody,
but I feel like someone who's been through a situation
like that, it could be pretty intense. Yeah, that's what
I've heard so far. Just I don't know, reading on
Twitter and just reading the comments sections. All the fans
(06:59):
and people who have watched said that, like after watching
This is Paris and then watching Brittany's documentary after, like,
I just have a whole nail way of thinking about
both of them, and my heart just breaks for the
way that they have been treated in life. I don't know,
such just something I've been thinking about a lot recently.
One thing that she talked about a lot was the
(07:19):
paparazzi kind of how horrible they were. And I can't
think of a person who probably had a more similar
experience than you. Um, was it as awful as it sounded.
It looked like it was. It was just out of control.
Just from the moment I would wake up and leave
(07:41):
my house until I would go to bed, they'd be
chasing me. Sometimes they'd be fifty cars and they were
just this was before social media, so pictures now, I
think because of social media, we already post something so
it becomes less, you know, worth less to them because
it's already out there. And back then they were the
ones putting everything out so you know, to get a
(08:04):
shot people. It was like a war almost where they
were just fighting over it and they didn't care what
would happen, or if you got in a car accident,
like they'd probably be happy because then they get crazier
pictures and just crying and trying to get away from
them sometimes because you know, I think there's a time
and place for that, Like it's okay if you're at
the MTV Awards or at a premiere or somewhere where
(08:25):
you know they're going to be on the red carpet
for work, but when it's your private life every single day,
but just it would be just overwhelming, just a lot um.
But I've always just tried to, you know, put a
smile on my face and be sweet and nice because
I feel that, you know, some celebrities will give the
(08:46):
middle finger, or they'll push them or just do mean
things to them, and then that's what they want, because
that's you know, they get some crazy shot of you
where you end up looking bad even though you're just
trying to protect yourself. But um, yeah, it's a weird,
weird world. Yeah, I think obviously, me being in this industry,
I like the idea of having the freedom of being
(09:10):
really successful, Like I'd love to be able to create
the shows I want to do and with that, for
a lot of people in this industry comes that level
of fame at some point. Obviously you guys had it
to a point where it doesn't even really exist anymore.
Like that level of attention from paparazzi is just kind
of a thing. Even the biggest stars in the world
do not have to deal with that today. And I
think sometimes people see like today's paparazzi and go that's
(09:31):
not so bad and they don't realize it was horrible.
It was like just a turf woar, and you were
kind of this like prize on the field. Um. But
someone told me once they're like she was an assistant
for a very very famous group of people, and she
said a lot of people think they want this level
of fame, but it is just a bottle that you
(09:52):
can never put the cap back on. Um. And it
kind of was like a little bit shocking at me.
I was like, yeah, I guess I've never really thought
about it. You can get it, but you can't turn
it off if you do, Yeah, it's it's out of control. Sometimes,
would you have wanted to not have that fame if
like someone gave you a magic switch and said you
(10:14):
don't have to prepare of Hilton anymore, you can be
a regular person. Would you have pressed that switch? Maybe?
I don't know. So sometimes I love what I do
because I get to do all these things I love,
and I love my fans, and just building this empire
is very exciting, but I wish you know, that part
(10:36):
is the part that is annoying, just you know, the
media making up stories, the paparazzi being crazy, and annoying
and just I don't know, the bad parts about it
are parts that I wouldn't want. So sometimes I just
wish that I just, you know, always had this normal life.
But I don't know. I think I was just born
to do this. Yeah, you dealt with a lot, so
(11:00):
I feel like you've come out on the other side
pretty strong. And it seems like with everything you're doing,
with all the advocacy, you're only getting stronger. You're only
getting more confident in your own skin again, which is amazing.
So I hope this is a sign to Ah, to
everybody that you know, that little Paris that was dressing
up and doing ballroom gowns in the living room is
(11:20):
is coming back strong. Yes, And yeah, like what you
just said about just my advocacy work and everything I'm doing,
it's amazing because I think when you can use your
fame for something that's good, it's just like an incredible feeling.
And I've done a lot of things I'm proud of
in my life, but this is by far the thing
I'm most proud of to have actually, you know, used
(11:43):
what I have something that's really good and really important
and going to really just change the lives of so
many children now and in the future, so it's exciting. Well,
I think that's amazing. Congratulations on getting the bill passed
and thank you for sharing Paris. Thank you, this is Paris.
Host
Paris Hilton
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