December 31, 2024 • 28 mins
Happy New Years Eve! Please enjoy the best of TMI part 2 as we close this year off and head into a new one
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Piece of the planet.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Y'allamagine the God here. And as we come closer to
closing out this year, I just want to say thank
you for tuning into the Black Effect Podcast Network. There
have been so many great moments over the past year.
Take a listen to some of those captivating moments in
this special best of episode.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Mallory and the Ship Boy my Son in general. We
are your host of Tami.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, motivation and inspiration name.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
New Energy.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Dope.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
All right, well, let's get into our guest, good conversation,
lots to learn.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Check it out. Our friends have joined us again too. Well.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
First of all, our sister Keisha ya coach Jesse has
been with us a number of times, and so it's
really good to have y'all on our show because y'all
been doing everybody else's show to talk about you know,
what has recently took uh what recently took place as
a family that I think is incredible, beautiful, amazing, And
(01:03):
I see.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Keisha, Lakeisha, That's.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
How it has already just you know, helped you to
walk into your advocacy, which I knew was going to
happen for you at some point and it's beautiful to
watch that. Now.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
So first of all, let me just introduce you all properly.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Lakeisha Randolph is now a black She is the leader
of the Black Fertility Matters community.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Okay, let's get that straight.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
So I feel an organization on the way, something big
buildings and a lot of things.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I can see it in the future.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
And she Keisha has had to have IVF has also
now an egg a donor. You are have received eggs.
So I know Coach Jesse's gonna get all of this
language clearness.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
It's okay, we all learning. I'm learning.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
I'm learning all the things.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
And then Coach Jesse health AFT activists and founder of
the detox now but she's also our big sister that
keeps us healthy, keeps us mentally stable.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
And we don't listen like we should, but we appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Coach Jesse, Love you all. Thank y'all so much for
joining the show today. And I think it would be
great for us to hear from you, Keisha about that story,
what took place and how all these other incredible women
got involved.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
Yes, I am Lakeisha Laurel or Latisha Randolph or Keisha.
I am the founder of a support group called Black
Fertility Matters. I wanted to start the support group for
women who have been on the road and who have
been dealing with infertility for as long as I have.
I've been dealing with infertility for over twenty five year
(03:00):
years I have. I've had two failed IVF cycles. I'm
currently on the show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta season eleven,
about to be season twelve, telling my story alongside of
my sister Yandy Smith, who volunteer to donate her eggs
to me.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
So I am I am.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
The receiver, she is the donor.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yandy Smith is the donor.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
I am receiving her eggs to conceive have my own child.
So we're on our journey to motherhood. I wanted to
provide a support group for women who may.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
Feel ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxiety, who go through an emotional
roller coaster dealing with IVA and infertility soul. This is
where my.
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Sister, alongside with my sister Yandy Smith, introduced me to
Coach Jefse who is our health and wellness coach. I've
also detoked with her many years ago, and Coach Jesse
introduced me and ye Be who to our fertilities doctor,
which is doctor Daniel Lane. Unfortunately she had to go,
but she is an amazing fertilities that have been working
(04:10):
with me and Yandy on our journey or my journey
to motherhood.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
So that's a little bit about our story.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
We wanted to uh and Coach Jesse and doctor Lane
wanted to also join the Black Fertility Matter to help educate,
support and provide resources for the black and brown community.
I just felt like I wanted to continue to tell
my story.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
I didn't know where to start.
Speaker 6 (04:33):
I reached out to LaToya Bond, Yandy Smith, Coach Jessee,
doctor Lane, and said, listen, I need to tell my
story because it's not only gonna help me. It was
a time where I couldn't even talk this much about
my process what's happening without me crying. So now for
me to be able to stand up here and say
I'm providing a support room for myself and other women
(04:54):
who are going down.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
This journey, it's amazing. It's amazing.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
I just thank you guys for telling my story and
having Coach Jesse, doctor Lane, and Nandy Smith joining the
Black Fertility Matters team.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Well that's powerful. Well how long have you been trying
to conceive a child.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
So I've been literally trying to conceive a child for
over twenty five years. I've been dealing with fibroids and demetriosis,
and then I went to a fertilities who you know.
My gyn said, okay, you cannot conceive due to age.
Once you're over forty, your egg count becomes low. And
(05:34):
then because I have fibroids and in demetriosis makes my
fertility even harder. So I've been dealing with infertility for
over twenty five years, and now I know long that
can conceive healthy embryos.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Coach Jesse, you know our audience, our listeners are no
stranger to your story. But I think in the context
of what Lakeisha has been dealing with, it would be
great to be reminded of your story and how you
got into this work, and then if you could give
us some insight on you know, what was the process,
(06:11):
what was your planning process to support Lakisha?
Speaker 7 (06:15):
Yeah, you know, first of all, Lakeisha, she rat.
Speaker 8 (06:18):
She just My heart went out to her when I
learned to her story because I battled in fertility that
was paused by five roids.
Speaker 7 (06:28):
I battled bibras for thirteen years and infratility pause it's
one news.
Speaker 8 (06:34):
And that first episode of what I called My Million
Dollar Baby Journey, where I had by BYBX cycles, the
in vitual fertilization cycles that Keisha was mentioning, and the
first one I had miscarriage.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
Three failed IVF cycles after that, and even after we
did conceive my daughter on the F cycle had major
life threatening situations. Whatever even told.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
Me actually because of the terminating my intet twenty one
running more weeks because in the journey I was either
having fibrant turvey or ideas because the fibrides kept coming back,
and here they were now back.
Speaker 7 (07:12):
And this literally in the Life of My.
Speaker 8 (07:15):
Baby where they said that red from a hostile environment
at twenty Now, thank god my journey, even though my
night stopped coming, nothing but follow on clear day, I.
Speaker 7 (07:31):
Do have my miracle baby.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I guess in our last few shows, I don't know
if we even notice it, but we've been talking about
health a lot. I realize, especially with all this extra weight,
that a lot of people act like they don't know.
But I have a few friends, including my dear friend Peaches,
that does not let me forget, because she will send
me a picture of myself out somewhere in a minute
(07:55):
and be like, you see this circling the fat in
my cheeks, my name, and it's okay because I do.
We do that for one another. It's not like she's
trying to like disrespect me or anything or shame me,
but she knows what I want to look like. And
I realized that I didn't have to be in the
situation that I'm in the backfat this and that all
(08:17):
of these things happened to me because I thought that
I could just still.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
I thought I was still thirty. I don't know what
I thought, but it's not. It isn't so ill.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
And what I realized is working out by itself is
not enough. Like you do have to actually take care
of your inside. I never knew this whole theory of
gut health.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
I never heard that before in my life.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I knew your stomach, but then when I hear people
talking about how much is happening in your gut, I'm like, Wow,
there's so many concepts that I can tell you right now.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
My family members that live in.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Alabama, North Carolina, no wherever we talking about no gut.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Health like at all. We did these things.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
It was it was can you try that good piece
of pork chop and tear it up? Now they don't
live like that anymore because so many people have died
from art disease and whatever, and over time people have
become introduced to these things. But that wasn't the thing
we were talking about today though. Today we get an
opportunity to talk to doctor Robert Singleton, the second, who
(09:22):
is an anesthesiology physician, and he also is very big
on the internet talking about health, and you know, I
don't know if enough of us, Like I was talking
to someone recently and they were like, oh, certain things
never show up on my page. It's also what you
(09:42):
follow like and what you're interested in. And when I
came across the algorithm, when I came across doctor Singleton,
obviously we were introduced to him by LaToya Bonn and
our team and they were like, hey, you got to
check this guy out. It's some real robust discussion and
rich discussion going on on his social media about health
(10:03):
in general.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
And I'm grateful that.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
He's taken some time today Scrubs and all to come
on and be a guest on TMI to talk about
our health and help us get straight on like what
we posed to be doing to get health in our community.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Wes how you doing, doctor, and how you doing today?
Speaker 9 (10:24):
I'm doing great, great, glad to be here, and I'm
glad that we're talking about health because it's so important.
Like you said, there's so many different health conditions that
affect us as black people disproportionately, and so it's important
that we have conversations like this to help ourselves, to
help our communities.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Absolutely.
Speaker 9 (10:43):
Let me.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Let me give a few points about how legendary you are.
You are a board certified anesthesiologist in Chicago.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
You went to Howard University.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
We have Howard University nutcases that follow us that they
don't pull, they do not play about the ahu you know. Okay,
but you are a medical school grad from Howard and
then also the ambassador for the Anesthesia Patient Safety Foundation.
(11:18):
This is a very very serious topic for me, and
I'll tell you why in the second. And since completing
your anesthesiology training in twenty sixteen, you've been committed to
serve it as an advocate for patients and their families,
practicing evidence based medicine and insurance patience safety. And I'll
tell you why this topic is so sensitive for me
(11:40):
around anesthesiology. My mother in twenty twenty, prior to twenty
twenty March of twenty twenty, she had been told she
has an issue with her esophagus where it closes and
she has.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
To have it stretched, maybe years or so.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
So this is something that we believe pretty much know
that it became her new reality after working at near
right next door to the World Trade Center during nine eleven.
So my mom, you know, she was there and the
fumes and whatnot, and then her esophagus changed as a
(12:19):
result of the pollution that so many people down there
faced and what have you. She lived, thank god, but
she did start to struggle with this thing.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
The last time that she.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Was getting before this twenty twenty incident, the last time
she was getting her esophagus stretched, the doctor told her
that they did not like the way that she responded
to the anesthesia. They said that when it was time
for her to wake up, she was having a major difficulty.
They did not like the way she rebounded, and they
(12:51):
felt uncomfortable about it. However, with my mother, her situation
is either you get the stretching or go into complete
liquid dye, and even then she can choke and die.
So she doesn't have a lot of options, right, So
they did the surgery in March of twenty twenty, and
sure enough, my mother had a stroke and lost the
(13:12):
ability on her left side. My mother was a dance
instructor for a number of dance classes in her community.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
You cannot be her in my line on the dance.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You got vible videos.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
And every eighty million people watching her videos of her
line dance instructing and all of that.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
And now she's in a wheelchair.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
She moves around a lot better, you know, over to
time things have gotten better, but she does not have
the ability to do much with her left side and
she needs twenty four hour care.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
So anesthesia is.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
A big topic of a place of pain for us
when we even start talking about it, And ironically it
is coming up on the timel she's beginning to choke
again because in twenty twenty, once they did get through
the surgery, she's starting to have the same issues again,
and here were people.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Having to try to figure out what to do.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
So, just for the personal reference, this topic is you
know you and what you do is very sensitive to me.
But again, thank you so much for joining us, and
we just want to hear on sure how you got
into this in the first place.
Speaker 9 (14:19):
Yeah, so, I've always wanted to be a doctor. I
just didn't know what type. I really liked surgery, but
anesthesia is one of those fields that doesn't get a
lot of exposure or it's not as known as the
other fields. Everybody knows about pediatricians and cardiologists, but anesthesia
(14:40):
is a really behind the scenes type of medicine and
for most of the time you don't really you know,
see or hear much about anesthesia because for most of
the procedures that we do, everything goes smoothly. But we
do have those in instances where there are emergencies, where
(15:01):
there are traumas, where there are you know, incidences of
cardiovasculic collapse, difficulty breathing, or we have to step in,
and those are very critical moments where every moment matters.
We saw that a lot with COVID and just even today,
you know, it's essential that patients have anesthesia doctors to
(15:23):
make sure that their procedures are safe. And so I
gravitated towards anesthesia. I've been doing this practicing independently since
twenty sixteen. Absolutely love it. I can't see myself. I
could not see myself doing any other any other job.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
That's amazing. I just I would like to know, like
being an anesthe geologist, being in the field of medicine,
what do you think are the biggest things that affect
Black people that you can think of?
Speaker 9 (15:53):
Yeah, so we have, like I said earlier, a lot
of unique diseases and a lot of issues that affect
does disproportionately. One big one and today's the last day
of heart health minds, But one big one is as
far as cardiovascular disease, our people are between thirty and
fifty four percent more likely to die of a cardiovascular
(16:17):
disease compared to our non Hispanic white counterparts. We die
of heart attacks more, we have higher rates of obesity,
higher rates of diabetes, and there's a lot of different
reasons for that. But it's important that we have conversations
like this, we spread reliable health information and take some
(16:39):
steps to reverse that.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Tell me the connection, because you know we can dispel
the myth right now. You're anesthesiologists, people are like you
just put the needle in on and knock me out,
Like what do what is your role or how do
you even know about all these other medical things because
people would think that that's not your area.
Speaker 9 (16:59):
Yeah, so that's a good question. You know, We as
anesthesia doctors are periodical positions, and so whenever a patient
is before me, I have to make sure that they're
optimized respiratory wise, cardiovascular wise, that all their organ systems
are are ready to undergo the stress of surgery and anesthesia,
(17:21):
and so I have to I have to manage diabetes.
I have to tailor each anesthetic to each patient because
it is not a one size fits all thing. I
desire and tailor my anesthetic to each patient's need. And
the biggest thing, you know, if there's there's no surgery
without anesthesia, and so we it's essential that we're there
(17:43):
to make sure that patients are are still, that they
don't have pain and they can go through having a
surgical procedure.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Mm hmmm. So I asked you about you know, what
are the things that affect us? What do you think
causes those things? It is our personal lifestyle choices. Is
it that we're forced to eat certain foods and what
do you think are the biggest things that causes those
situations that we have.
Speaker 9 (18:12):
You know, that's it's it's multi factorial. There's a lot
of different things. Uh. Some of it is cultural, you know,
the kind of foods that we gravitate towards as a culture.
A lot of us don't have health clubs and our
neighborhood we don't have neighborhoods that are safe enough, safe
enough for us to go on walks and jogs. Uh,
(18:33):
many of our people living uh, food deserts where you
don't have access to whole foods or you know, organic
healthy produce that's at a reasonable price. And so there's
things that you know, within our society are keeping us
from being healthy and also just lack of information that's
(18:54):
keeping us from changing our habits in the way that
we live.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yeah, it's environ mental racism is what we call it.
And you know, and I mean and food desert's a
real thing. When we first arrived in Louisville, Kentucky, where
we were fighting for Breonna Taylor, we lived there for
three months. During that time, we learned how the people
were suffering, Like one supermarket in the entire area where
(19:24):
all these hundreds of thousands of people lived one supermarket
did not.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I went in there one time. The fruit was terrible.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
It wasn't even a good supermarket, right, And so we
found out that we had to, you know, start bringing
fresh produce just to deliver to the community to even
have a conversation. And it's so important for people to
understand that between our activism, your work as a doctor,
(19:52):
it all connects, because you can't even have a conversation
with somebody about fighting for Breonna Taylor while they're hungry.
It's like, you know, hey, I hear you terrible what
happened to that system? I'm hungry, but I'm hungry and
maybe after you feed me then I can meet you
on the battlefield. So I hear you, you know talking
(20:14):
about Well, first of all, tell us the conditions.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
You said, it's.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Heart Health Month, and I know that applies to all
of us as black people and other races. But what
would you say at the top two issues?
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Maybe there's more for men and women that are.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Avoidable, like things that you know, if we just don't
do this, more than likely we will not have these issues.
Speaker 9 (20:41):
Yeah, So there's there's three major issues, and I mean
like you said, there's a lot of issues that we
could talk about, including high cholesterol all and but the
big three would have to be obesity, high blood pressure,
and diabetes. City high blood pressure and diabetes. Those are
(21:01):
three issues that affect us as black people more and
for the most part, they are somewhat reversible, treatable, preventable
if we are if we just do some common sense
things to improve them and educate ourselves.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
You know, my thought of the day today is around
this idea of sobriety. You know, I am really I
don't know if I want to say proud of me,
because I don't even know. I don't I really don't
have all of the lexicon. I'm literally developing it. Five
(21:41):
years later, I'm writing my first real speech about my
process to get sober and what I went through and
how I initially got addicted and what was at one
point something that I didn't even know was a part
of addiction. And I had no idea the first time
(22:02):
I swallowed a pill that it was a part of
an addiction thing. And I certainly didn't understand the political
nature of addiction and that there's actual forces working towards
like I didn't think any of that. I didn't know
there was a story and a situation out there in
the world that can explain why we're addicted to these pills.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
So I didn't know. I didn't know so many other
people was on it.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
But now that I'm more educated and now that I'm
more confident, right now that I've been able to kick
shame and the ass about this particular issue and other
things like you know what I'm saying. One thing i
will say is one of the things that I'm beginning
to realize that certain parts of my story I'm not
able to tell because other people's lives will be impacted.
(22:43):
And I'm talking about things from childhood all the way
to now. You don't tell or you don't want to
disrespect or embarrass other people, even your family members and
your friends. You want to be mindful, and it's very
important that when we start talking about telling our stories,
which people are entitled to, that that we're very careful
to know that your time is not everybody else's time.
(23:06):
And because I have compassion for that, I'm careful and mindful.
But there's lots of components of my life that there
are people in the world who believe because they know
that I did something, or I was a place, you know,
a strip club, slept with this guy, did this thing
or whatever.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
They believe that they're.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Holding something that will just tear me to shreds. And
of course, when the truth about your life and things
come out, it can hurt you to hear people's opinions
and to lose opportunities, or to have people don't trust
you or don't believe you or don't believe in you,
of course, but I've come to know that ripping the
(23:46):
band aid off of situations, problems, issues that you've been
through can oftentimes provide you with freedom, freedom to walk
forward and deal with whatever it is and kick it
up under your feet. Right, so, I have disassociated myself
with the shame of my story around addiction.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
I don't have it anymore. I've thrown it out.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
It's taking years to get there, but I think five
years of sobriety is a time when you could actually
tell the full story and not worry about who feel
Who know, who was there, who saw you when you
was nodding out, who to help you get the drugs,
who didn't, who did this?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Who?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
It doesn't matter because now the work that's on me
is bigger than me. I have found that disassociating yourself
from all of this shame and guilt that holds us
down might just be the thing that we need to
get free and to have the space to do things.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Right going forward.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Sounds like you have been in deep contemplation and you
have really come to terms with you. You know what I'm saying,
just being just understanding who you are, what you are,
and just freeing yourself from all the things that bind you.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
And my TMI today is we as women.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
And I saw a man Decillo's, talking on her Small
Doses podcast about being too much right. We as women
we do, you know, we talk when we want to.
I never forget getting a call from someone very close
to me who said, oh, you know, women just all
(25:28):
day y'all just don't ever stop telling and doing and directing.
But I feel like men don't, really, they say, because
I've been told by a number of men, you gotta
say it the right way.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
You can't just always have an attitude.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
You need to stop being so this and that, and
you know, and and and nagging, and you have to
nurture the right way, and you need to you know,
have a certain type of positivity, and this and that,
and you could get a man to do anything just
your energy. I have found you could say it nice,
you could say it nasty, and the same result that
(26:07):
most men do not want to be corrected and or
just suggested of a new or better way to do things.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Period.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I don't think that's true. I really I think that
delivery is everything. Right. Because you say it nasty, that's
not true. It's not nasty or nice, right. It's the
time you say it, is when you say it, it's
how you say it. All those things come if you're
correct if a man. If a man is in the
(26:37):
middle of a speech and he's giving it, and he's
talking around people who are listening to him, and he's
and he's saying something, you stopping, I don't say it
that way. Don't say it that way.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Say it this when you smile.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And you stop and you say it. Don't say this
when you smile. You think that you're saying it nice. Right.
What you just did is correct him in front of
people that think he knows what he's talking. Right. So
what you did is you just you lowered a little
bit of his his his status in front of people, right,
you didn't whisper behind his back and say yo, if
(27:11):
you got a man and you would a man and
you saying and something he did something on you? Rub
his back, babe, you know what you should have did.
I loved what you did. But imagine if.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
You gotta line right, so you gotta lie.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Because it's like but it's still a man has an ego.
Everyone has an ego. You dealing with a man with
an ego, and if you don't care about the man's ego,
then fuck it. You can say what you want, but
if you want to get the best response from a man,
then you have to fill out how do I work
with this individual?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Once again, thank you for tuning into the Blackfat Podcast Network.
See you in twenty twenty five for more great moments
from your favorite podcast
Piece of the planet.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Y'allamagine the God here. And as we come closer to
closing out this year, I just want to say thank
you for tuning into the Black Effect Podcast Network. There
have been so many great moments over the past year.
Take a listen to some of those captivating moments in
this special best of episode.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Mallory and the Ship Boy my Son in general. We
are your host of Tami.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, motivation and inspiration name.
Speaker 4 (00:24):
New Energy.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Dope.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
All right, well, let's get into our guest, good conversation,
lots to learn.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
Check it out. Our friends have joined us again too. Well.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
First of all, our sister Keisha ya coach Jesse has
been with us a number of times, and so it's
really good to have y'all on our show because y'all
been doing everybody else's show to talk about you know,
what has recently took uh what recently took place as
a family that I think is incredible, beautiful, amazing, And
(01:03):
I see.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
Keisha, Lakeisha, That's.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
How it has already just you know, helped you to
walk into your advocacy, which I knew was going to
happen for you at some point and it's beautiful to
watch that. Now.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
So first of all, let me just introduce you all properly.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Lakeisha Randolph is now a black She is the leader
of the Black Fertility Matters community.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
Okay, let's get that straight.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
So I feel an organization on the way, something big
buildings and a lot of things.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
I can see it in the future.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
And she Keisha has had to have IVF has also
now an egg a donor. You are have received eggs.
So I know Coach Jesse's gonna get all of this
language clearness.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
It's okay, we all learning. I'm learning.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
I'm learning all the things.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
And then Coach Jesse health AFT activists and founder of
the detox now but she's also our big sister that
keeps us healthy, keeps us mentally stable.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
And we don't listen like we should, but we appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Coach Jesse, Love you all. Thank y'all so much for
joining the show today. And I think it would be
great for us to hear from you, Keisha about that story,
what took place and how all these other incredible women
got involved.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Well, thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
Yes, I am Lakeisha Laurel or Latisha Randolph or Keisha.
I am the founder of a support group called Black
Fertility Matters. I wanted to start the support group for
women who have been on the road and who have
been dealing with infertility for as long as I have.
I've been dealing with infertility for over twenty five year
(03:00):
years I have. I've had two failed IVF cycles. I'm
currently on the show Love and Hip Hop Atlanta season eleven,
about to be season twelve, telling my story alongside of
my sister Yandy Smith, who volunteer to donate her eggs
to me.
Speaker 5 (03:16):
So I am I am.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
The receiver, she is the donor.
Speaker 5 (03:20):
Yandy Smith is the donor.
Speaker 6 (03:21):
I am receiving her eggs to conceive have my own child.
So we're on our journey to motherhood. I wanted to
provide a support group for women who may.
Speaker 5 (03:33):
Feel ashamed, guilty, depressed, anxiety, who go through an emotional
roller coaster dealing with IVA and infertility soul. This is
where my.
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Sister, alongside with my sister Yandy Smith, introduced me to
Coach Jefse who is our health and wellness coach. I've
also detoked with her many years ago, and Coach Jesse
introduced me and ye Be who to our fertilities doctor,
which is doctor Daniel Lane. Unfortunately she had to go,
but she is an amazing fertilities that have been working
(04:10):
with me and Yandy on our journey or my journey
to motherhood.
Speaker 5 (04:16):
So that's a little bit about our story.
Speaker 6 (04:17):
We wanted to uh and Coach Jesse and doctor Lane
wanted to also join the Black Fertility Matter to help educate,
support and provide resources for the black and brown community.
I just felt like I wanted to continue to tell
my story.
Speaker 5 (04:32):
I didn't know where to start.
Speaker 6 (04:33):
I reached out to LaToya Bond, Yandy Smith, Coach Jessee,
doctor Lane, and said, listen, I need to tell my
story because it's not only gonna help me. It was
a time where I couldn't even talk this much about
my process what's happening without me crying. So now for
me to be able to stand up here and say
I'm providing a support room for myself and other women
(04:54):
who are going down.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
This journey, it's amazing. It's amazing.
Speaker 6 (04:59):
I just thank you guys for telling my story and
having Coach Jesse, doctor Lane, and Nandy Smith joining the
Black Fertility Matters team.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Well that's powerful. Well how long have you been trying
to conceive a child.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
So I've been literally trying to conceive a child for
over twenty five years. I've been dealing with fibroids and demetriosis,
and then I went to a fertilities who you know.
My gyn said, okay, you cannot conceive due to age.
Once you're over forty, your egg count becomes low. And
(05:34):
then because I have fibroids and in demetriosis makes my
fertility even harder. So I've been dealing with infertility for
over twenty five years, and now I know long that
can conceive healthy embryos.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Coach Jesse, you know our audience, our listeners are no
stranger to your story. But I think in the context
of what Lakeisha has been dealing with, it would be
great to be reminded of your story and how you
got into this work, and then if you could give
us some insight on you know, what was the process,
(06:11):
what was your planning process to support Lakisha?
Speaker 7 (06:15):
Yeah, you know, first of all, Lakeisha, she rat.
Speaker 8 (06:18):
She just My heart went out to her when I
learned to her story because I battled in fertility that
was paused by five roids.
Speaker 7 (06:28):
I battled bibras for thirteen years and infratility pause it's
one news.
Speaker 8 (06:34):
And that first episode of what I called My Million
Dollar Baby Journey, where I had by BYBX cycles, the
in vitual fertilization cycles that Keisha was mentioning, and the
first one I had miscarriage.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
Three failed IVF cycles after that, and even after we
did conceive my daughter on the F cycle had major
life threatening situations. Whatever even told.
Speaker 8 (06:58):
Me actually because of the terminating my intet twenty one
running more weeks because in the journey I was either
having fibrant turvey or ideas because the fibrides kept coming back,
and here they were now back.
Speaker 7 (07:12):
And this literally in the Life of My.
Speaker 8 (07:15):
Baby where they said that red from a hostile environment
at twenty Now, thank god my journey, even though my
night stopped coming, nothing but follow on clear day, I.
Speaker 7 (07:31):
Do have my miracle baby.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
I guess in our last few shows, I don't know
if we even notice it, but we've been talking about
health a lot. I realize, especially with all this extra weight,
that a lot of people act like they don't know.
But I have a few friends, including my dear friend Peaches,
that does not let me forget, because she will send
me a picture of myself out somewhere in a minute
(07:55):
and be like, you see this circling the fat in
my cheeks, my name, and it's okay because I do.
We do that for one another. It's not like she's
trying to like disrespect me or anything or shame me,
but she knows what I want to look like. And
I realized that I didn't have to be in the
situation that I'm in the backfat this and that all
(08:17):
of these things happened to me because I thought that
I could just still.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
I thought I was still thirty. I don't know what
I thought, but it's not. It isn't so ill.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
And what I realized is working out by itself is
not enough. Like you do have to actually take care
of your inside. I never knew this whole theory of
gut health.
Speaker 4 (08:39):
I never heard that before in my life.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I knew your stomach, but then when I hear people
talking about how much is happening in your gut, I'm like, Wow,
there's so many concepts that I can tell you right now.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
My family members that live in.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
Alabama, North Carolina, no wherever we talking about no gut.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Health like at all. We did these things.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
It was it was can you try that good piece
of pork chop and tear it up? Now they don't
live like that anymore because so many people have died
from art disease and whatever, and over time people have
become introduced to these things. But that wasn't the thing
we were talking about today though. Today we get an
opportunity to talk to doctor Robert Singleton, the second, who
(09:22):
is an anesthesiology physician, and he also is very big
on the internet talking about health, and you know, I
don't know if enough of us, Like I was talking
to someone recently and they were like, oh, certain things
never show up on my page. It's also what you
(09:42):
follow like and what you're interested in. And when I
came across the algorithm, when I came across doctor Singleton,
obviously we were introduced to him by LaToya Bonn and
our team and they were like, hey, you got to
check this guy out. It's some real robust discussion and
rich discussion going on on his social media about health
(10:03):
in general.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
And I'm grateful that.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
He's taken some time today Scrubs and all to come
on and be a guest on TMI to talk about
our health and help us get straight on like what
we posed to be doing to get health in our community.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Wes how you doing, doctor, and how you doing today?
Speaker 9 (10:24):
I'm doing great, great, glad to be here, and I'm
glad that we're talking about health because it's so important.
Like you said, there's so many different health conditions that
affect us as black people disproportionately, and so it's important
that we have conversations like this to help ourselves, to
help our communities.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
Absolutely.
Speaker 9 (10:43):
Let me.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
Let me give a few points about how legendary you are.
You are a board certified anesthesiologist in Chicago.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
You went to Howard University.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
We have Howard University nutcases that follow us that they
don't pull, they do not play about the ahu you know. Okay,
but you are a medical school grad from Howard and
then also the ambassador for the Anesthesia Patient Safety Foundation.
(11:18):
This is a very very serious topic for me, and
I'll tell you why in the second. And since completing
your anesthesiology training in twenty sixteen, you've been committed to
serve it as an advocate for patients and their families,
practicing evidence based medicine and insurance patience safety. And I'll
tell you why this topic is so sensitive for me
(11:40):
around anesthesiology. My mother in twenty twenty, prior to twenty
twenty March of twenty twenty, she had been told she
has an issue with her esophagus where it closes and
she has.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
To have it stretched, maybe years or so.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
So this is something that we believe pretty much know
that it became her new reality after working at near
right next door to the World Trade Center during nine eleven.
So my mom, you know, she was there and the
fumes and whatnot, and then her esophagus changed as a
(12:19):
result of the pollution that so many people down there
faced and what have you. She lived, thank god, but
she did start to struggle with this thing.
Speaker 4 (12:28):
The last time that she.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Was getting before this twenty twenty incident, the last time
she was getting her esophagus stretched, the doctor told her
that they did not like the way that she responded
to the anesthesia. They said that when it was time
for her to wake up, she was having a major difficulty.
They did not like the way she rebounded, and they
(12:51):
felt uncomfortable about it. However, with my mother, her situation
is either you get the stretching or go into complete
liquid dye, and even then she can choke and die.
So she doesn't have a lot of options, right, So
they did the surgery in March of twenty twenty, and
sure enough, my mother had a stroke and lost the
(13:12):
ability on her left side. My mother was a dance
instructor for a number of dance classes in her community.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
You cannot be her in my line on the dance.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
You got vible videos.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
And every eighty million people watching her videos of her
line dance instructing and all of that.
Speaker 4 (13:30):
And now she's in a wheelchair.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
She moves around a lot better, you know, over to
time things have gotten better, but she does not have
the ability to do much with her left side and
she needs twenty four hour care.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
So anesthesia is.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
A big topic of a place of pain for us
when we even start talking about it, And ironically it
is coming up on the timel she's beginning to choke
again because in twenty twenty, once they did get through
the surgery, she's starting to have the same issues again,
and here were people.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Having to try to figure out what to do.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
So, just for the personal reference, this topic is you
know you and what you do is very sensitive to me.
But again, thank you so much for joining us, and
we just want to hear on sure how you got
into this in the first place.
Speaker 9 (14:19):
Yeah, so, I've always wanted to be a doctor. I
just didn't know what type. I really liked surgery, but
anesthesia is one of those fields that doesn't get a
lot of exposure or it's not as known as the
other fields. Everybody knows about pediatricians and cardiologists, but anesthesia
(14:40):
is a really behind the scenes type of medicine and
for most of the time you don't really you know,
see or hear much about anesthesia because for most of
the procedures that we do, everything goes smoothly. But we
do have those in instances where there are emergencies, where
(15:01):
there are traumas, where there are you know, incidences of
cardiovasculic collapse, difficulty breathing, or we have to step in,
and those are very critical moments where every moment matters.
We saw that a lot with COVID and just even today,
you know, it's essential that patients have anesthesia doctors to
(15:23):
make sure that their procedures are safe. And so I
gravitated towards anesthesia. I've been doing this practicing independently since
twenty sixteen. Absolutely love it. I can't see myself. I
could not see myself doing any other any other job.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
That's amazing. I just I would like to know, like
being an anesthe geologist, being in the field of medicine,
what do you think are the biggest things that affect
Black people that you can think of?
Speaker 9 (15:53):
Yeah, so we have, like I said earlier, a lot
of unique diseases and a lot of issues that affect
does disproportionately. One big one and today's the last day
of heart health minds, But one big one is as
far as cardiovascular disease, our people are between thirty and
fifty four percent more likely to die of a cardiovascular
(16:17):
disease compared to our non Hispanic white counterparts. We die
of heart attacks more, we have higher rates of obesity,
higher rates of diabetes, and there's a lot of different
reasons for that. But it's important that we have conversations
like this, we spread reliable health information and take some
(16:39):
steps to reverse that.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Tell me the connection, because you know we can dispel
the myth right now. You're anesthesiologists, people are like you
just put the needle in on and knock me out,
Like what do what is your role or how do
you even know about all these other medical things because
people would think that that's not your area.
Speaker 9 (16:59):
Yeah, so that's a good question. You know, We as
anesthesia doctors are periodical positions, and so whenever a patient
is before me, I have to make sure that they're
optimized respiratory wise, cardiovascular wise, that all their organ systems
are are ready to undergo the stress of surgery and anesthesia,
(17:21):
and so I have to I have to manage diabetes.
I have to tailor each anesthetic to each patient because
it is not a one size fits all thing. I
desire and tailor my anesthetic to each patient's need. And
the biggest thing, you know, if there's there's no surgery
without anesthesia, and so we it's essential that we're there
(17:43):
to make sure that patients are are still, that they
don't have pain and they can go through having a
surgical procedure.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Mm hmmm. So I asked you about you know, what
are the things that affect us? What do you think
causes those things? It is our personal lifestyle choices. Is
it that we're forced to eat certain foods and what
do you think are the biggest things that causes those
situations that we have.
Speaker 9 (18:12):
You know, that's it's it's multi factorial. There's a lot
of different things. Uh. Some of it is cultural, you know,
the kind of foods that we gravitate towards as a culture.
A lot of us don't have health clubs and our
neighborhood we don't have neighborhoods that are safe enough, safe
enough for us to go on walks and jogs. Uh,
(18:33):
many of our people living uh, food deserts where you
don't have access to whole foods or you know, organic
healthy produce that's at a reasonable price. And so there's
things that you know, within our society are keeping us
from being healthy and also just lack of information that's
(18:54):
keeping us from changing our habits in the way that
we live.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Yeah, it's environ mental racism is what we call it.
And you know, and I mean and food desert's a
real thing. When we first arrived in Louisville, Kentucky, where
we were fighting for Breonna Taylor, we lived there for
three months. During that time, we learned how the people
were suffering, Like one supermarket in the entire area where
(19:24):
all these hundreds of thousands of people lived one supermarket
did not.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I went in there one time. The fruit was terrible.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
It wasn't even a good supermarket, right, And so we
found out that we had to, you know, start bringing
fresh produce just to deliver to the community to even
have a conversation. And it's so important for people to
understand that between our activism, your work as a doctor,
(19:52):
it all connects, because you can't even have a conversation
with somebody about fighting for Breonna Taylor while they're hungry.
It's like, you know, hey, I hear you terrible what
happened to that system? I'm hungry, but I'm hungry and
maybe after you feed me then I can meet you
on the battlefield. So I hear you, you know talking
(20:14):
about Well, first of all, tell us the conditions.
Speaker 4 (20:16):
You said, it's.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Heart Health Month, and I know that applies to all
of us as black people and other races. But what
would you say at the top two issues?
Speaker 4 (20:27):
Maybe there's more for men and women that are.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
Avoidable, like things that you know, if we just don't
do this, more than likely we will not have these issues.
Speaker 9 (20:41):
Yeah, So there's there's three major issues, and I mean
like you said, there's a lot of issues that we
could talk about, including high cholesterol all and but the
big three would have to be obesity, high blood pressure,
and diabetes. City high blood pressure and diabetes. Those are
(21:01):
three issues that affect us as black people more and
for the most part, they are somewhat reversible, treatable, preventable
if we are if we just do some common sense
things to improve them and educate ourselves.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
You know, my thought of the day today is around
this idea of sobriety. You know, I am really I
don't know if I want to say proud of me,
because I don't even know. I don't I really don't
have all of the lexicon. I'm literally developing it. Five
(21:41):
years later, I'm writing my first real speech about my
process to get sober and what I went through and
how I initially got addicted and what was at one
point something that I didn't even know was a part
of addiction. And I had no idea the first time
(22:02):
I swallowed a pill that it was a part of
an addiction thing. And I certainly didn't understand the political
nature of addiction and that there's actual forces working towards
like I didn't think any of that. I didn't know
there was a story and a situation out there in
the world that can explain why we're addicted to these pills.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
So I didn't know. I didn't know so many other
people was on it.
Speaker 3 (22:23):
But now that I'm more educated and now that I'm
more confident, right now that I've been able to kick
shame and the ass about this particular issue and other
things like you know what I'm saying. One thing i
will say is one of the things that I'm beginning
to realize that certain parts of my story I'm not
able to tell because other people's lives will be impacted.
(22:43):
And I'm talking about things from childhood all the way
to now. You don't tell or you don't want to
disrespect or embarrass other people, even your family members and
your friends. You want to be mindful, and it's very
important that when we start talking about telling our stories,
which people are entitled to, that that we're very careful
to know that your time is not everybody else's time.
(23:06):
And because I have compassion for that, I'm careful and mindful.
But there's lots of components of my life that there
are people in the world who believe because they know
that I did something, or I was a place, you know,
a strip club, slept with this guy, did this thing
or whatever.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
They believe that they're.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Holding something that will just tear me to shreds. And
of course, when the truth about your life and things
come out, it can hurt you to hear people's opinions
and to lose opportunities, or to have people don't trust
you or don't believe you or don't believe in you,
of course, but I've come to know that ripping the
(23:46):
band aid off of situations, problems, issues that you've been
through can oftentimes provide you with freedom, freedom to walk
forward and deal with whatever it is and kick it
up under your feet. Right, so, I have disassociated myself
with the shame of my story around addiction.
Speaker 4 (24:07):
I don't have it anymore. I've thrown it out.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
It's taking years to get there, but I think five
years of sobriety is a time when you could actually
tell the full story and not worry about who feel
Who know, who was there, who saw you when you
was nodding out, who to help you get the drugs,
who didn't, who did this?
Speaker 4 (24:26):
Who?
Speaker 3 (24:27):
It doesn't matter because now the work that's on me
is bigger than me. I have found that disassociating yourself
from all of this shame and guilt that holds us
down might just be the thing that we need to
get free and to have the space to do things.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Right going forward.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Sounds like you have been in deep contemplation and you
have really come to terms with you. You know what I'm saying,
just being just understanding who you are, what you are,
and just freeing yourself from all the things that bind you.
Speaker 4 (25:02):
And my TMI today is we as women.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
And I saw a man Decillo's, talking on her Small
Doses podcast about being too much right. We as women
we do, you know, we talk when we want to.
I never forget getting a call from someone very close
to me who said, oh, you know, women just all
(25:28):
day y'all just don't ever stop telling and doing and directing.
But I feel like men don't, really, they say, because
I've been told by a number of men, you gotta
say it the right way.
Speaker 4 (25:42):
You can't just always have an attitude.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
You need to stop being so this and that, and
you know, and and and nagging, and you have to
nurture the right way, and you need to you know,
have a certain type of positivity, and this and that,
and you could get a man to do anything just
your energy. I have found you could say it nice,
you could say it nasty, and the same result that
(26:07):
most men do not want to be corrected and or
just suggested of a new or better way to do things.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
Period.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I don't think that's true. I really I think that
delivery is everything. Right. Because you say it nasty, that's
not true. It's not nasty or nice, right. It's the
time you say it, is when you say it, it's
how you say it. All those things come if you're
correct if a man. If a man is in the
(26:37):
middle of a speech and he's giving it, and he's
talking around people who are listening to him, and he's
and he's saying something, you stopping, I don't say it
that way. Don't say it that way.
Speaker 4 (26:46):
Say it this when you smile.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
And you stop and you say it. Don't say this
when you smile. You think that you're saying it nice. Right.
What you just did is correct him in front of
people that think he knows what he's talking. Right. So
what you did is you just you lowered a little
bit of his his his status in front of people, right,
you didn't whisper behind his back and say yo, if
(27:11):
you got a man and you would a man and
you saying and something he did something on you? Rub
his back, babe, you know what you should have did.
I loved what you did. But imagine if.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
You gotta line right, so you gotta lie.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Because it's like but it's still a man has an ego.
Everyone has an ego. You dealing with a man with
an ego, and if you don't care about the man's ego,
then fuck it. You can say what you want, but
if you want to get the best response from a man,
then you have to fill out how do I work
with this individual?
Speaker 2 (27:39):
Once again, thank you for tuning into the Blackfat Podcast Network.
See you in twenty twenty five for more great moments
from your favorite podcast
Hosts And Creators
Mysonne
Tamika Mallory
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