Bonding of the Sexes: Are Relationships What They Say

This week Tamika and Mysonne begin conversations about technology and how it has enhanced and hindered communication. The conversation covers several themes, including the Fearless Fund, state laws banning DEI programs, and the Supreme Court's decision on mass protests. The conversation also touches on the need for marginalized communities to build their own resources and challenge existing power structures. Afterwards they were joined by Kendra G, the host of her new dating show "Singles on IG live" where she speaks  the importance of attraction and financial stability in relationships,  women having more options now but still struggle to find the type of partner they want and more. 

 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm Tamika D.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Mallory and it Shit Boy my Son in general.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
We are your host of t M I.

Speaker 3 (00:05):
Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, Motivation and Inspiration.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
New Name, New Energy.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
What's up to me? How are you doing today?

Speaker 4 (00:16):
I'm doing pretty well, pretty well. I'm excited about today's show.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Your he looks nice.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
You know what I try.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
I literally attempt at wearing hair, my own hair, covering
most of my bundles.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Because you know I do wed. I love my bundles,
but it doesn't work. So I just get my brains
back because it's just too much.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
Like I am, I am incapable of managing waking up,
fixing hair, getting makeup, putting on clothes. It's I'm I'm
incapable of managing it all. So anyway, if I do
want to tell you this one thing about what I
learned recently, I learned that at what I thought was

(01:03):
potentially me going a little bit death death death like
hard of hearing, was just that my ears were compacted.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Were wax.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Well, yeah, how did you figure that out?

Speaker 4 (01:17):
Because well, because I went to the doctor for real,
like I really was having already in this year in
my right ear I don't hear as.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Well as I would like.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
And and by the way, in my family, on the
serious side, we have a number of people who are mute,
so they they are deaf and they don't speak. Of course,
you know, I don't know. I don't know anybody that's
deaf and they speak.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
I guess that's the thing I never really paid attention
to when I think about it.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
I do have family members that speak a little bit,
but they definitely don't hear well at all. They can
hear a little bit and speak a little bit, but anyway,
that's another day's story. But there are several people in
my family that have hearing impairments and they just that's
their situation. And so for me, this ear has always

(02:06):
been that way. But I started to notice it on
this side where I was kind of like, you know,
just so I'm sort of like I was struggling and
having to turn things up really loud, and so I
decided to go to the doctor to find out if
like I'm losing a little bit of hearing on this side,
and it really was just compacted with wax. So I

(02:28):
just want to tell phone then the reason why is
because my canal is very very very small. So when
I clean my ears, which you know, I don't play around.
Everybody knows me. If you know me, I washing everything down,
so it ain't have it didn't have anything to do
with if anyone else who is experiencing it. It has
nothing to do with being you know, unclean or unsanitary.

(02:50):
It has to do with when you're like cleaning it.
And I don't use Q tips because I had learned
a long time ago that you really just push things
down in there more.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
But even when you're using your cloth to.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
Clean out your ears, still things go down in the
ear canal and mines was impacted and they had to
like use all of these things, this all this equipment
to clean it out, and I hear it well, like I.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Can hear things that I don't even know if I'm
supposed to be hearing.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
I actually had a similar experience. And my my ear
canal is very small too, So when they was telling
me that my thing was completely cloud and it was
like one little piece of wax like this big, It
wasn't that big, but my ear canal was so.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Small, So what came out of mind?

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah, I had one piece like this. It was like
a little ball of wax.

Speaker 1 (03:40):
Well, let me just tell you I took a picture
of it, which, of course you know, no one else
will ever see it. What came out of mind.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
You would almost think God was nasty because it was rough,
like mine was impacted terribly. They pulled things out that
as you know, wax out that as they were pulling it,
it hurt me. So it was that it was that impacted,
very severe. So I was you know, for folks that
are out there, they might it's t m I, but

(04:10):
get your ears clean because part and I think a
friend friend of mine texts me, and I need to
go back and read what she said. I read it,
and like I skimmed over it, but I think she
said that her father thought he was losing his hearing
and then he went and found out and she was
like they were I did read it. She said that
they were like really dealing with hearing loss like seriously,

(04:32):
and there was nothing wrong with him and said.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, that's the thing. That's the thing.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
As a musician, like we we we create more wax
because wax is like protection, that's what it is.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
It's like it protects you from sound and things going
is so sound when when.

Speaker 3 (04:50):
You constantly have like headphones and stuff, it creates.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
You know, my my my Apple watch.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
When I'm in certain and environments, it tells me that
it's too loud and you might lose your hearing, like
in a restaurant, because you know, I don't like loud.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
I don't understand, and I should have made this my team.
I'm actually I'm glad you.

Speaker 3 (05:13):
Said that because it was something that I seen that
on my phone does Now that is very crazy to me.
What the phone is telling you what's in the picture?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
What listen to me?

Speaker 3 (05:26):
If you send somebody a picture, Siri tells you there's
a picture of a woman and a man holding this in.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
A car and all like that never happened to me.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Literally, I'm telling you, I couldn't believe it, like because
I've had my headphones on. So somebody sent a picture
and then it described what was in the picture.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
That never happened to me. It does tell me about
the text.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Did it ever happen to you? Jan, I'm telling you
some news.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
I couldn't even I said, what, Well, so now they
see your pictures and all of that, but that's crazy.

Speaker 4 (06:00):
Well, but you know what, you know what has happened
to me when it tells you your text message, like oh,
such and such texts you this, and it reads to
you right.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
And then I'm in a conversation. I would never forget.
One day I was.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
In a conversation someone texted me. No someone I was
telling my dad, Oh, my lord, crazy, so and so
it's texting me about and I'm tied up and the
thing was right in everything, and they asked me, would
you like me to send this? And I said no, no, no,
don't sport mission.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
The phone has a lot butter.

Speaker 4 (06:38):
But the sound on the watch brings me to a
thought and it really should be my thought of the day,
but it's not because I have something that's more serious.
Why do they have the music in the restaurant so
loud that you.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Can't hear the person that you're out to dinner with?

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Like what?

Speaker 1 (06:57):
No?

Speaker 3 (06:58):
No, not either, because when I was young, I didn't
mind live music. At twenty years old, twenty when I
was in the club, it's if it wasn't loud, I
felt like I wasn't partying. So I think what's happening
is you're going into.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
Places there for the dinner.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
Dinner.

Speaker 3 (07:12):
Yeah, once once it after nine o'clock, that's when they
turn up.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
You gotta go. I'm to go to the brunch spots,
the older brunch.

Speaker 4 (07:21):
You're sitting across the table at dinner with somebody, you
should be able to hear them.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
The kids don't want to hear they want to hear
the music pH And.

Speaker 4 (07:31):
I appreciate there's a restaurant now that's giving people a
bottle of wine to not be on your phone. Like
if you give them your phone, they give you a
bottle of wine for free. And I'm like, that's what
I'm talking about, because sometimes to me, a reason to stop.
I just have been paying attention to and really writing

(07:54):
a note, keeping a note of all the things that's
happening around the DEI programs diversity, equity and inclusion.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
As well as what I believe are.

Speaker 4 (08:05):
Direct attempts and very intentional and strategic attempts to destabilize
black institutions and really our communities and certainly all the
things that so many people have fought to make sure
we have opportunities. And so I've just been taking notes
because I have been in these arguments back and.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Forth with people who have told me we don't need
any of that. We don't need any of these things.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
So we already know about the Fearless Fun. We've been
talking about the Fearless Fun and how these women started
a fund that is specifically focused on giving monies to
black women to build businesses. And now they are being
sued and the Supreme Court just might come back and
say that what they are doing is illegal and that

(08:53):
they no longer can and that the money that these
black women have raised for their own community is going
to have to be distributed to other communities if they
want to stay in business.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, so that's one.

Speaker 4 (09:06):
Then the state laws in many states around the country
are banning DEI programs on college campuses, so now students
will no longer have the ability to go to diversity,
equity and inclusion offices and have programs that focus on
allowing these students of color and particularly black students and

(09:29):
of course women access to these colleges. And of course,
many of those campuses that have DEI programs have opportunities
for jobs, right like black people to be able to
show up and work on college campuses and bring their
learned experience to the students.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
So that's very important that.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
You have people who look like you on college campuses
that are able to help you prepare for the real
world as a company and cultural competency exactly right, very important. Then,
the United States Supreme Court has announced that they will
not hear a case that basically stops these states from.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Being able to ban mass protests.

Speaker 4 (10:18):
So in Louisiana and Mississippi and Texas, where we already
know the history specifically of those states in terms of
their racism, in terms of their intentional activities around oppressing
black African American people, we already know. We don't have

(10:38):
to talk about Mississippi. We know the history of Mississippi
and Texas and Louisiana. Well, they now have passed laws
that would ban the ability for people to plan mass protests,
and the Supreme Court has said that they will not
hear the case that would.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Stop that from happening.

Speaker 4 (10:55):
That would protect protesters and people who want to express
their First Amendment right to gather and to push back
on the system for whatever whatever they have said about
this is not just Black Lives Matter protests. We're talking
about women's protests. It could be anything. It could be
against gun violence, it could be whatever they're now saying

(11:15):
in those three states, three states specifically, that that is
not legal. Then we know already that women's right to
choose under attack. We already know what's happening there with
these states that have passed laws to ban women from
being able to get abortions and also contraceptions.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
So checked us out.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
You can't get an abortion, but you also can't get
the birth control that you need to keep yourself from
getting pregnant, so that therefore you don't have to get
an abortion.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Okay, you keep going. One more thing.

Speaker 4 (11:47):
The US House of Representatives used to have an Office
of Diversity and Inclusion. Gone they have now pulled the
funding and disbanded that. All right, Now here's my thing.
Someone said to me, well, we just don't need those programs.
It's time for us to build our own.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Show me, show me how, show me the mechanism.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
I want to see. And I'm not saying, I am.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Not saying, but you know what the crazy part is,
it's who made us believe some zim shit like how
do black people when we when we look we look
at the numbers we look at you can see the data.
You can see all of the data, and it shows
you that this mentality that we don't need it is
not factual. It is not factual. It shows you that

(12:33):
pretty much, it's like you, somebody owns everything and then
tell you you got to figure out how to get
your own, and we and we and we don't have
to put you inside of ours. We own all the ship,
we got all the land, we got all of the businesses.
We've created this on your back. We didn't give you anything.
But now we're telling you, look, we don't have to
make a way for you. We don't have to include

(12:55):
you in none of these businesses that we created, these
corporations that we we don't.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Have to on college campus college.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
We don't have to make sure the accommodate you. You
just got to you got to figure out how to
get out that mouse hole. And we own all this ship,
and you just got to figure out how you get
your own.

Speaker 4 (13:11):
But here's here's sense, here's here's my serious, my thought
of the day. Here, when I listen to people who
say we don't need these things and we can build
our own, I respect and understand the concept of it.
Right that we should build our own businesses, right, that

(13:34):
we should have our own institutions, but I thought, that's
what black colleges are. And guess what we just came from, TSU.
We just came from a college, Tennessee State University, where
the funding that is supposed to come from the state
to help these colleges build STEM centers and make sure

(13:57):
that their students have the proper housing and that they
would have the proper resources so that they can compete
in the global world, because there is there is there's
a difference between being able to compete in Tennessee and
being able to compete with people who are coming from
China and Germany and here and there and the other.
There's a total difference there. Right, So the government is

(14:19):
supposed to provide funding, but they have now in many states,
stop doing that, been doing it, been holding hundreds of
billions of dollars from getting to the black colleges that
you say, build your own. So people built their own,
and yet still we are unable to get the resources

(14:39):
that are due to these institutions to get to our people. Okay,
so now right, okay, feel it's fun. It's trying to
build its own, build their own people. They're trying to
give money, specifically to black women to build businesses. Okay, now,
let's talk about the Tolsa situation, the Tulsa massacre. This

(15:02):
is yet another time in history. We built our own
they blew it up. So if the concept, because I
know some of the brothers from from the Nation of
Islam will say that part of it is separation, right,
like separate and do okay cool? I want people to
tell me how are we going to get millions and

(15:24):
millions and millions and millions and millions and millions of
our people out of housing projects, out of and get
them from where they are right now. And I'm not
talking about because that what you're saying separation. It's a
lot that goes into that. Even if I let's just

(15:45):
say I'm a hundred and I'm not. I'm not pushing
back on their theory either, because I think everybody has
a theory that if you bring it all together, it actually.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
Might make sense. Right.

Speaker 4 (15:55):
But what I am trying to explain to people is
that you have to have a both and you cannot
allow the government, corporations, educational institutions all at the same
time to withhold resources and opportunities from our community and
then talk about we just gonna build our own, So
are we going to allow our people to die? Why

(16:17):
we're building our own because if our people don't have jobs,
can't go into a bank and get a loan for
their business. They can't even get money from another black
two black women that build the fund to help them
build their businesses.

Speaker 3 (16:30):
It's because it's not really logical, right that the concept
of building on when you say it, it makes sense,
but in the real grand scheme of it, you can't
build your own within a system that everything is already built.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Right, So that's why they say separation.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
So that's when you say separate, What are you separating with?
And where you going when you separate? Because we don't
we don't have our own right, So when we look
at when we look at every other national.

Speaker 4 (16:56):
Have one point four trillion dollars that we spend, so
we don't spend it with ourselves.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
What I'm trying to tell you is, unfortunately we don't
have one culture in which we all identify. They stripped
everything from us. So when you look at the Asians,
they have one culture. Right when you go to Korea,
all of every place the Asians are, they have a
culture and they feed that culture, they build that culture
every day is known to them. Even when you look

(17:20):
at the Latin Americans, they have a culture. They build
their own. They come here and they go back to
the Dominican Republic and they build up the Dominican Republic.
They send things back to Africa. The Africans here, they
send things back to Africa, and they still build it.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
We don't have black we don't have that.

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Well they were. They stripped it from us in so
many ways, and I know we have.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
Because a lot of us believe that we're from here.

Speaker 4 (17:42):
But I just want to say, right, we built this
nation in the in the in the words of our
dear sister Angela.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
Rye, we built this nation for free right.

Speaker 4 (17:55):
And so I want us to be very careful because
I understand then that people are tired of trying to
integrate into As doctor King told Harry Belafonte, I fear
that I'm integrating our people into.

Speaker 1 (18:09):
A burning house.

Speaker 4 (18:10):
So I'm all for the idea that we've got to
have our own, But I want people to look at
what is happening around us and understand that, and understand
that you cannot just say.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
We're just gonna drop the ball over.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Here and allow them to systematically dismantle our communities and
things that people have fought for. And then on over
here on this other side, we're gonna just build this
new thing, because basically what you are saying is that
everybody should. This is and this is my own little
example that I really have been working with. What you

(18:46):
are pretty much saying is move out your house onto
the street with nothing, Take all your shit, put it
on the street while I.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Build you this other house.

Speaker 4 (18:55):
No, anybody with good sense knows that while you're building
your other house, you.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
Still need somewhere to live. You still need food.

Speaker 4 (19:03):
So you're saying, okay, forget those schools, so your kids
are not gonna be educated for the next several years
until you finish building these other things.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
It doesn't make sense.

Speaker 4 (19:13):
So the last thing I'll say on this is that
what we need to stop doing is trying to discount
other people's ideas and concepts and other people's struggles and
know that we are in one fight. So if it's
one fight, I'm over here saying we must continue to
have DEI practices and make them better. A lot of

(19:35):
people who are so upset with Charlemagne because of what
he said around DEI being trash. I don't know if
I would use the word trash, but I understand his
point is that even when even with DEI policies in place,
they don't always work, and they don't always transfer into
our people, like building.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Wealth for all of our people.

Speaker 4 (19:55):
It's just a few people that get in good positions,
and that's it. It is not working the way that
it should and the way that it was intended. Oh,
you know, there's so much more to be said about this,
and I think we really should make sure that we
take the time to go over all the details in
another episode. What I'm just saying is that we should
not we cannot throw out the baby and the bath water.

(20:18):
We really have to be very very careful about what
we are saying in this moment. And yes, we need DEI,
we need programs, we need resources, we.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
Need all the things, and.

Speaker 4 (20:30):
We need to be focused on building our own But
we need to stop telling people that are out there
making sure protesting and raising the issues around this very
intentional attempt to destabilize our communities. We need to stop
saying that those people are wrong or that they're focused
on the wrong thing, so that that's that's what I
want to say about that, and I and I think

(20:52):
there is more.

Speaker 2 (20:53):
To be It's a lot more. But you know, like
you said, we need.

Speaker 4 (20:57):
To build another whole show around this idea, so doing
too much. Let me tell you, I heard this really
sad story that really pissed me off. And then I
heard that Ebro has been talking about it on the
radio as well. And it is that in New York City,
folks who have who have easy pass, or maybe they

(21:19):
don't have eas path. I don't I don't know if
it's that, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
I guess they use your license plate. Now, so when
you go through the.

Speaker 4 (21:25):
Toll if for some reason, like I know, one person,
the easy pass wasn't working properly and they didn't know,
so they thought it was on automatic, but something happened
and it wasn't. Another person just didn't pay their easy pass.
The bill is it a ticket?

Speaker 1 (21:43):
What do you get?

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Like it depends on if you have an easy pass,
then they send you a bill. So what happens is
the easy pass either you can have a prepaid.

Speaker 1 (21:50):
I have replenished or you have a replenished thing.

Speaker 3 (21:53):
But that's that's a scam then too because after a
certain amount, they raised your threshold. And then what they
do is if you if you have an average of
like one hundred dollars, they'll raise your threshold the two fifty, right,
and then once you go past one hundred dollars or
you get to two, then they raise it to three
or four.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
So they be taking it.

Speaker 1 (22:12):
On their own. Wow.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
So if you don't do it, and then what happens
is even if you don't reprentiship, what they do is
they start raising your threshold on their own and then
they say, you can't put less than this amount of money.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
So they got a scam.

Speaker 4 (22:26):
This sho no, but the real, but the real, the real,
real thing is this story that I heard from this
young lady is that I guess she didn't pay it,
and eleven hundred dollars eleven hundred dollars of easy pass
ticket whatever you call them, I don't know the language,

(22:48):
but easy pass not being paid the fee is seven
thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
So eleven hundred dollars of.

Speaker 4 (22:58):
Her not paying the easy pass whatever she so, I
guess she went through it and it was calculating, but
she didn't pay it. They charged they're charging seven thousand
dollars in fees, So the total was eight thousand dollars
to get the boot off of her car, and supposedly
something similar happened to Ebro. So what I'm saying is

(23:22):
New York City is doing way too much.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
And I don't know if.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
It's a port authority. So that's not really New York City.
It's like New York, New Jersey and Connecticut somehow, all
mixed up together.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
It's no way they could keep it.

Speaker 1 (23:35):
It has to be that, it has to be. That's predatory.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
No, that's crazy, unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
It is predatory.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
That should be.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
It could be so much it should be unconstitutional, unconstitutional
it is. I mean, I can't see that how that
even makes sense? Like that's really robbery because people can't
afford that. That's the average person that has this regular
car and he's make it.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
What what what are y'all talk? Where? I want to
see where the seven thousand dollars go?

Speaker 2 (24:07):
I don't so.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
My My music segment today is an artist by the
name of Tef and he has a song. Go to
his Instagram page is at Tef t e.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
F s A M E Gang What.

Speaker 3 (24:27):
TF same gang? At Tef Same Gang. So it's t
e F S A M E G.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
A N G and Lord, I gotta get it right.
I want to make sure I say it right. So
it's Tef Same.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
Gang, yep.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
And the song is about black women and he's talking about,
you know, the the battle between black women and black
man and he doesn't like that and he wants you
to feel loved and it shouldn't be division between us.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
And it's a dope song. So shout out to Tef.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
You know.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
He sent me this video and I posted on my page.
You can see it on my page. But it's a
due video.

Speaker 4 (25:04):
So this series bonding of this sexist I thought it
was so important. Right, We've been talking about the battle
that's out there, and I think a lot of it
is being exacerbated by social media. But it also, in
my judgment, has a lot to do with sort of
the trolling and the bots online that are designed to

(25:26):
make our communities look like we just in disarray. And
I think we have to be real intentional about making
sure we show all sides.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
And yes, there are.

Speaker 4 (25:36):
Some areas where we don't agree, where men and women struggle,
there's tensions, but there's tension, but that exists in every community,
and of course, for whatever reason, social media and media
in general gives this impression that we're just totally not
on the same page.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
And I really love how, even in your music.

Speaker 4 (25:54):
Segment, you talk about Tef being someone who is attempting
to try to bring us together. And so I don't
I don't even want to use the language battle of
the sexist.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
I want to talk even though we may talk about.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
Differences, still it is through us attempting to bond and
understand one another that this whole series that we put together,
that's what it's all about. And so for the next
several weeks, we're gonna be really sort of delving.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Into the ins and.

Speaker 4 (26:24):
Outs of the relationships, the intimate relationships and even the
professional relationships, and the movement relationships between the men and
women of our communities, and how we learn how to
deal with conflict and disagreement and maybe find me a
husband like that that might happen in the midst so
maybe I'll understand more about myself. So today we've got

(26:47):
a sister on men. I've been watching her lives and
her show and just and just I'm inspired. And then
some days I'm not inspired. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna
be by.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
Myself because because it just it's just it's just not
gonna work for me. So.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
Kendred G a TV and radio personality. She was a
host on one on seven point five in Chicago, but
she has since left that job to focus one hundred
percent on this new baby that we're gonna be talking
about so much today, which really kind.

Speaker 1 (27:22):
Of gives her the expertise.

Speaker 4 (27:25):
To come and be a part of this bonding of
the sexist series. Kendred G of Kendred G singles, that's
me I need to be on the show.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Listen.

Speaker 5 (27:36):
I definitely want to pick up offer when you said
find your husband. We're gonna talk about that more because
I want to know, do you really want to get married?

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Nothing? Maybe not?

Speaker 5 (27:46):
Yeah, that's what some women should be okay with because
I think a lot of women say I want a husband,
but do they think about do you really want to
be a wife? Like a wife really is a job?
Like you are signing up to put everything second career
and your family, children or whatever. Now Trump's that And
I don't think I'm not a person that feels like

(28:07):
you have to be married to be validated. But I
think once people except what they really want them, they'll
understand why they keep attracting certain people in their lives.
So that's why I said, do you really want to
be a white girl?

Speaker 1 (28:21):
Yeah? I mean, you know what I want.

Speaker 4 (28:25):
And first of all, thank you Kendre for joining TMI today.
So let's go back and start at the beginning. But
I would say that, yes, I definitely want a husband,
but I don't know if I want a husband for
the right reasons.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
And that's something that I'm checking in with.

Speaker 4 (28:44):
I want a husband because I believe that from my parents' perspective, right.
I watched my parents and my mom had a stroke,
and now my dad is her caregiver, right, and she
had been his caregiver all the way up to the
point of her becoming disabled based upon this terrible, terrible

(29:06):
health crisis.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
And I see that.

Speaker 4 (29:09):
I don't know if this is the right reason, but
I see how they have been one another's solid rock.
And I feel like, as I get older, like what's
gonna happen to me if I don't have someone there
that is like committed to me in that way that's
the thing for me. I don't know if I don't
know anymore about a whole bunch of things, but I

(29:29):
do know that you're supposed to have a partner, so
I'm trying to figure it out. But anyway, let's get started.
Let's go back, Let's go backwards. Let's talk about your background,
because I want people to know that you weren't You're
not just Kendred g singles. You started somewhere, so let's
talk about who you are and how you got started.

Speaker 5 (29:50):
Like I'm a twenty year radio and television veteran. I
went to Hampton University, and like you mentioned, I was
hosting a morning show in Chicago, and then COVID happened.
COVID happened in twenty twenty, and the world was shut down.
And this is pre mass this is April, this is
the world just got shut down. You can't go into work,
don't touch each other, don't talk to your neighbor. We're

(30:13):
still trying to figure out this pandemic that's going on.
So we're really stuck in the house. And at that time,
Instagram Live was like the go to. Everybody was connecting
Sylvia Instagram Live shots. To be nice, he had us
dancing so I was like, you know what, I was
in a relationship and we literally broke up in the

(30:33):
pandemic and then I became like single. And because single
and pandemic, I always equated to Will Smith, I am legend.
It was like I had a dog and that's literally
I can only be with my dog. And I was like,
this is a lonely life. Let me go on Live
and see if I could hook up other single people
that might feel like me. And literally, that one night,

(30:54):
it wasn't even the show. I didn't have this master plan.
I was like, I'm listening to go live and connect
with other single peace people and give them a shot.
But I knew the first night I would change my
life forever because I had everything in the making to
have a successful show and had first of all, you know,
I come from media. It was regular people. It wasn't
a celebrity on a celebrity based show, which was great

(31:17):
for me because you guys know, sometimes it's hard to
get celebrities do interviews. Now celebrities only got to do interviews.
They just go to their Instagram page and talk. So
I love that it was regular people. I love that
the audience was engaged either you can watch a person
and like them and DM them, or you could leave
a comment about what you thought right and then you

(31:38):
could just be yourself. And it was a Teams for Love.
And now we just celebrated four years. Like I said
last year, I decided to quit my job. I moved
to I live in Beverly Hills, California now and we're
made a tasting the dating app kender g singles and
May seventh, it would be avoilable my birthday to the

(31:59):
world right now, Oh.

Speaker 2 (32:00):
You're a tourist. Okay, you're a tourist.

Speaker 5 (32:03):
We's not yet with tourists trying to take out Tinder
one day.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Ah, okay, you got big goal, big goals.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
So what have you like?

Speaker 3 (32:14):
Has doing this show change your perspective on relationships? Will
tell me something that you thought before that you that
change your perspective now.

Speaker 5 (32:23):
A lot of women want the same type of guy.
And it doesn't matter what kind of woman she is,
whether she's in shape, non in shape, educated, not educated.
She wants DRIs album. She wants the tall, dark skinned
man that has good money, is going to provide for
her and love her, be faithful, never see another woman

(32:44):
the day of her life, give her good sex when
she wants to have good sex. Work a lot, but
don't work so much because I need you to go
with me to church every Sunday, be home at night,
pay all the bills, and yeah, that's what she wants.

Speaker 4 (32:59):
But I think that before you thought that people wanted
a more diverse partner.

Speaker 5 (33:06):
Well, to me, this is why it's kind of like you.
You know, what I often learned is my average life
is a one percent life, right, So for me outside
looking in, I didn't think it was far fetched because
I live in a world of successful black men, right
and attract them. Not all they don't always want to
get married, but that's my common world. What I didn't

(33:28):
realize is that people who don't even live in that
common world, they still want that man. So what's happening
is like a lot of women are negating their options.
The real life option is the option in your faith.
So when you go to the grocery store, when you
go to church, when you go wherever you're going in
your life, whether that man is, whoever that woman is,

(33:48):
that is your real life option. The Internet has all
made us connected. Right now, you guys are in New
York I'm in La so we're all connected via the internet.
But for relationships that can only last for so long,
you know, if you want a real relationship, right, so,
are you gonna move to this place? Can you make
it in that new city? If you do move for love? Like,

(34:11):
how far are you willing to go? So? I think
right now, people just want a fantasy instead of reality.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
And that's I say that all the time. I say that,
especially when I look at relationships. You know, one of
my theories is that people are in love with the
fantasy of a relationship and not the reality of the
relationship because they have this, you know, this ideology of
what it's supposed to look like. My relation is supposed
to be like this. My man is supposed to be
this way. He's supposed to look this way's supposed to
go here, he's supposed to listen to what I say.

(34:40):
He's supposed to always make me happy. He's supposed to.
And then when the reality of the relationship happens and
none of that is going right, nobody really wants the
reality that comes to Relationships's days you wake up you
don't want to talk. It's days he don't feel like talking.
You gotta see somebody, You gotta deal with somebody at
their best, at the worst. You gotta all of these things,
and then the reality of it starts kicking in, and

(35:01):
then you look in and you're like, I don't even
know if I want to do this because this ain't
what it was in my head. This relationship that was
in my head is not the relationship that I'm in.
And I see that happen with a lot of different
relationships with people.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
You know.

Speaker 4 (35:12):
Yeah, but then when you said if you said, if
none of it, when none of those things are working,
and it's kind of like, if none of it is working,
then that might not be your person likes are working.

Speaker 3 (35:26):
I'm saying when I think the reality of it is
the fantasy of those things, right, the fantasy of you know,
we're gonna always be happy, everything's gonna be good, Like
you're the only person that the man's ever gonna look
at all of these things, and when those little things
start happening, it triggers a reality that people don't want

(35:48):
to deal with in relationship.

Speaker 4 (35:50):
What you think about that, Kendra, Oh, absolutely see what
happens is.

Speaker 5 (35:54):
On Instagram, most happy couples post their happy times as
they should, right, but it unfortunately, sometimes it gives the illusion,
like when you know when you go to the back
in the day, when you go buy a picture frame
and you see this beautiful family, right they're smiling, cheasing.
You don't know what happened. You don't know if he
lost his job one time and then the wife had

(36:16):
a take over and hold down the family. And this
is why he loves her so much, because she proved
that when he had nothing, she would be there. We
don't know if he has an outside baby and the
wife just socided I'm gonna love him through it all
and still say, Mary, all you see is the Hallmark
card and you say I want that, but you don't
have the details. And that's really the confusion. I always

(36:38):
tell people on my show Get Married, mentors talk to
people who are married, because a lot of married people
don't come online and always give all the bad because
they're gonna be judged, right, Like a woman comes up there, Yes,
he cheated on me and he has two outside kids,
but I'm gonna stay with him because I love him.
And it's deeper than that. I find a way to

(36:59):
gift for forgive my eyes. She'll be attacked all day.
You're dumb? Why don't you stay with so She's never
gonna tell you that story on Instagram, and I don't
think she should. But if you really want marriage, if
you really want love, find some real life couples and
offline they would give you the real I know so
many real stories, and that's why I think that I'm

(37:21):
more enlightened because I have friends that are married farm relationships,
and I know the things that they have gone through.
It looks great, their family looks great, but I know
the trials that they went through to get there. And
something you said, my Shanda, when you said they want
the good times, but they don't want the bad times.
They want you to have the money, always pay all

(37:43):
the bills. They don't think about the scenario that you
mentioned to me about your parents, about how now there's
health conditions right and someone's taking care of the other.
That's what really matters in the end. Like when you're
in your twenties, Okay, if you want a guy in
the club, you know, I get it, But your VIP
section forts up is in your house. Who do you

(38:05):
want to be in the VIP section in your house?
When you're fifty that's who you should start looking for
your partner now. Also, we're dealing a situation where there's
so many women doing well, Like this is a situation
where like a lot of women like you go on.
I said this all the time, women could become a
millionaire by selling lashes, right, So now she got money.

(38:25):
Logically speaking, I understand this woman wants a man that's
either her financial equal or more. Right, so now she
only wants a man that makes more than her or
at least the same. But does that guy wants you back?
And does he wants you back in the way that
you want him? So then what do you do if
that guy that you want doesn't want you back? Do
you accept nothing? Or do you just keep going and

(38:48):
saying it? I'm not going to shuttle because this is
what I deserve.

Speaker 4 (38:52):
Well, So, you know, I'm just thinking about the framing
of this series that we're covering, and we really are
trying to look at black folks and figure out, like,
you know, all the different working pieces, not just in
intimate relationships, but just how we're relating to one another
in general. And as I was saying, when we open

(39:13):
the show, you know, I feel like the internet and
media in general is painting this picture of us as
just being incompatible, like you.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Gotta either be or at least or at least.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
Look at the previous models or older models, and it's
like we need something new, right, And maybe that's true.
So polygamy has become a big topic now, and a
lot of that is not just because people want to
have sex with multiple women or men. Some of it
has to do with the numbers, the clear numbers that

(39:49):
there are not enough men, especially successful.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Men, that are able to financially.

Speaker 4 (39:55):
Provide for women and for black women, and therefore it
becomes sort of one of the options is to bring
multiple households together and bring all of your resources under
one umbrella. And of course there is that one man.
And I think also as people are beginning to walk
more in their truth that you know, they're not on

(40:18):
the down low as much as they used to. So
now if you are a member of the lgbt q
I A community and you're being honest and forthcoming about that,
then you then that.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
Put that puts you in a different pool.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
So now a woman who's looking for assis gender male
that is that she does, she can't find it in
that person anymore. So now the poolish it has trunk, right,
So with the again polygamy, then you've got women who
are saying, I got a date outside of my race.
I now have to go to white men or other
cultures to find a husband again, someone who's a good provider.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
I'm wondering from your perspective.

Speaker 4 (40:57):
Is it the Internet that's showing us that or is
it just the reality of what we're really dealing with.

Speaker 5 (41:02):
So first, because the gift doesn't connect her call right,
And but you've got to realize reality is individual for
each person. So when a woman comes on the internet
and says, you know, you have to make at least
one hundred k the daily and her world is probably
around one hundred k men, we know now that's not
the average salary. So the man that can talk to

(41:25):
her via the common section is offendive, and he's like,
you're never gonna get that guy because you're indirectly insulting him,
right because he doesn't make one hundred k. When a
guy says, oh, you got to be fit and feminine
to be with me, let's say a woman not infinie.
Now she's offended. So now she's in a common section
saying you're never gonna get that either. So what's happening

(41:49):
is we're colliding different realities online people you'll probably never
talked to in real life because but not in the
real life, but you can have an online discussion. And
that is where where the debate is getting heavy. I
think it's a lot of people that are unhappy, and
you mentioned it earlier. Men have more options as in flying.

(42:11):
There's a lot of women who want to be a
relationship now have options, but not there's not a whole
bunch of options the same type of guy they want.
So there's men out there, but do they are they
all over six feet? Do they all make over six figures?

Speaker 1 (42:27):
You know?

Speaker 5 (42:28):
Do you find them all sexually attractive? So that's when
the food for women get smaller because out of the
thousand men, they probably really want ten, but all ten
thousand women want to tend Do you how that guy
he now knows that he knows the guy in the

(42:49):
sixty makes a lot of money and attractive he does
he is resigned. So when you mentioned boligamy earlier, that
was something also at the point that for me, I
believe in just being honest. Whatever you desire I have
met women who said they want a poligumous relationship. It's
not always been for women look forward to. And just

(43:11):
like I have said, you know day relationships, I accept
that that's what you was desire, right, We've got to
be honest with you, tell and then living your.

Speaker 1 (43:20):
Truth, living and truth.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
Do you think that how how much of a role
do you think sex plays in like what we as
women are looking for. Are we the ones that are
more invested in that or is it kind of like, ah,
I want it, but I'm not so worried, and it's
more men who want to make sure that the person
is sexually comb compatible.

Speaker 5 (43:41):
Well, I think that is why I say, talk to
Mary folks right when you get older, I think sex
is still important. But a lot of fifty year old
and they're not having sex like you know when when
you're twenty three or thirty, right, So we don't talk
about that enough. And I think that's a really good conversation.
I think attraction is a for it on both rules.

(44:04):
Man one that looks good and a woman wants someone
that looks good. But that's very important. But I think
is I want to bring out sprinkle sprinkle real quick
she has a movement going on, and she talks a
lot about getting men with money. You should you should
get a man that's a provider. And I'm not mad
at her message, but I think that was no woman

(44:25):
to her messages. She talks about money. She's on record
says she's not talking about good sex. She's not even
talking about him being faithful. He's not talking about him
being attractive. He's talking solely about getting a man that
is going to pay your bills and a provider for you.
So I think at some point in time, and I'm
not mad at that either, if that's what you want,

(44:46):
but you have to know that it's like the eighty
twenty rule. Maybe you might have good sex with one guy,
but he don't make a lot of money, or maybe
the guy that makes a lot of money doesn't give
you good sets. You got to make that decision for yourself.

Speaker 3 (45:01):
It's a lot to impact, but but I mean it's
it's real, you know, and just listening to your the
way that you've come to terms with because I know
that on your show, it's a lot of different people
and a lot of different people want a lot of
different things. I've seen men up there I've seen you
looking at people and.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
I know it's it's hilarious. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
It's everything on it. So what what is going to
happen with the app?

Speaker 5 (45:29):
So the difference what I like about my show is
because you get to hear from real single people. It's
like you never be caf fished again. It's not. It's
like our slogan is the app that gets to let
you know the person beyond the photo. So it's one thing,
and this has happened. I've had attractive men come on
my show and once they start talking, the women don't
like them no more. Oh he's a narcissist. Oh he's

(45:51):
because once they start hearing his beliefs, what he stands for,
what he desires, he's no longer attractive to them. Then
man who may not they might be like medium, right,
like not really the finest man, but not ugly, but
when they hear what his goals are and what he
desires for a family, women are like, oh I want

(46:12):
that man because it comes a point in time where
when you're young, all you care about is looks and
having fun. But I think this happens a lot with
women who have children. Sometimes they might have a child
by a man and he's not a good father, and
then now they they called this to Russell Wilson situation.
And I hate this because I really love see her

(46:32):
on Russell Wilson. But they always say, oh, Sierra wanted
a bad guy and then she wanted the good guy.
But that does happen a lot. I think sometimes when
women become moms, their desires and what they want a man.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
Shit.

Speaker 5 (46:46):
Now, I was like, listen, I want I need a
man that's going to be here help me raise these kids,
you know, because this is tough. I'm trying to raise
children by myself. Well, the guy I heard this conversation
a lot, the guy that has the money that can't
take care of your kids. He sometimes he feels like, oh,
so you wanted to have a baby by the tall,

(47:08):
six foot, dark skinned guy, but now you want me
because I have good character to help you raise it.
You want me to take care of him because I
wasn't good enough to appropriate with, you know, because I
maybe I didn't have the attraction level or the money level.
But now you want me. So some men I hear
that a lot. A lot of men say that that

(47:29):
they're offended by that. And then women, you know, this
is another curse of the internet. When you're watching another
woman's life, right.

Speaker 1 (47:36):
Look for her, man talk for her.

Speaker 5 (47:38):
He took her on a trip. Oh she got a
car for her birthday. If you can't take me to
Turks and Cacos for my birthday, you ain't the man
for me. Because I saw this girl who I never
met in life, have all that.

Speaker 4 (47:54):
And I'll you know, And meanwhile she's in Turks and
Cakos getting choked to death on mall saying maybe even
who knows.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
I mean, the.

Speaker 4 (48:04):
Storyline for what could potentially be happening to her is
so devastating, and even what she may be doing to him,
she may be making him miserable, you know, just just
pretty much sucking the life out because we can do that.
Some people in relationships can suck the life out of

(48:24):
one another, right, like, just make.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
You drain to even have to deal with you.

Speaker 4 (48:29):
I wake up in the morning and look at you
and I'm just like, oh my god, you complain and
you nagging, or you know, you always want to have
sex and you're not even good at it, or you
know whatever, whatever that all the different issues are and
yet you still have to be tough with them. No,
I mean it's true, it's listen, listen if there are
people who feel like especially women for the most part,

(48:53):
I don't know, maybe men feel that way as well,
that you have to satisfy the sexual desire of a
person who does not even know that they don't know
how to have sex, they don't even know. And I
and and Ken dra always I often say in conversations
that a lot of a lot of times, the way
we were taught, especially as women, to stroke the egos

(49:16):
of men to make them feel happy no matter what,
never tell them that you need more or something different sexually,
it has boasted the egos of people, of men and
and and made unrealistic or made it unrealistic of what
real good sex really is, which is pretty much mental

(49:39):
most of it right for us as women, that's where
it really starts, and then it and then it trickles
down to the body.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
But because of the.

Speaker 4 (49:48):
Way that we allow men to think that oh, just
bang bang bang bang bang, and then that's it, and
you never even being pleased. But that's something that we
were taught generationally, that that's your job just to be
like a piece of meat.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
So I'm just saying that.

Speaker 4 (50:04):
We are in Sometimes people are in relationships with folks
and they're not even getting anything that they want or
anything that makes them happy, but just to be able
to get that rent paid, or just to be able
to have a person in the house to take care
of your kids, or just to be able you're just
afraid to step out on your own. We would just
deal with so much and not be actually genuinely happy.

(50:28):
So I see that all the time, and I think that,
like you said, something that's so important, that the Internet
is only a mirror to people and like what's really
happened and whether they are really miserable just as a person,
or whether or not they are aspiring for something that
they really don't even know how to.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
They're not in that world. And that's true.

Speaker 4 (50:53):
A lot of people want something that they are not
ready for mentally, emotionally, physically, or whatever. But this is
their desire, and therefore we have so many unrealistic expectations
that is being designed by this device instead of your
true relationships.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
When you're like in your real world with real people.

Speaker 5 (51:17):
You know, there's a couple, oh so much, she said,
I want to response to real quick. First, again, these
are allegations, so we don't know what really happened. But
I always used to talk before Cassie made a lawsuit
against Diddy. I'm not gonna deep dive in that. I
used to use her as an example because I would say,
here's a girl who was literally with a billionaire and
left a billionaire to marry a trainer, you know, to

(51:40):
marry a trainer who obviously did not have does not
have the money that Diddy has. Right, So I would
be like, what would make a woman because women think
that money makes you happy, you know, have all of
these things. She was living this life. We saw her
having dinner with Jay Z and Beyonce, She's going to
Fashion Week, He's going to Paris like private jet. And
the next thing you know, she leads that amazing situation

(52:04):
for what some would call a basic life. And then
now years later we're hearing the allegations of what potentially
could have went on in that relationship. So again, you
never know what a person is accepting to live a
certain lifestyle. That's one back to the sex. I say
this all the time. The price of vagina has gone down,

(52:26):
like you know, regina used to be sacred you used
to have.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
The vagina has gone down.

Speaker 5 (52:34):
You know, the vagina. It's like it's the price that's
going down. It's not as valuable. No more men could
give regina being I say, vagina vagina very easily. So
when that literally, ladies, is your like, that's what That's
what men want, right? They want to have sex when
well they can get it without even being your boyfriend,

(52:55):
let alone your husband. You know, you sign up for situationship.
It's like, what is you burgaining too? Like what do
you have to bergain? But men who can see past that,
they appreciate women. Like a man who really wants a
relationship and wants something more solid, he will be like, okay,
I just can't get it that easy. That makes them

(53:16):
look at you different. It's so funny you said it's
a different category.

Speaker 4 (53:20):
Because a friend of mine told her daughter recently that
she said, Kuchi used to be a dime a dozen,
Now it's a sin a dozen. No, okay, So you
better find a different strategy because marrying the rich guy
and going to find a football player.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
And she's and this young.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Lady is very very very attractive, but now she's thirty
five with two kids, so you would You're not the
same twenty six year old with no kids. Now you're
thirty five with two kids and cute, which means that
there is a pool of you and and they're looking
a lot of men, older men. I find they like

(54:02):
the twenty five year old to twenty six year old
to twenty seven year old me and my.

Speaker 1 (54:06):
Old forty four year old self. It's like people.

Speaker 4 (54:09):
I had a man say to me other day, I
know your DMS. It's going down in the DMS. No,
it's not.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
It's not going down that much. I got some people
in my DMS that are not mentally stable. That's what
I have.

Speaker 5 (54:23):
You hard to impress though, to me, Ka, you gotta
understand your world like you're around very successful man. You
do well yourself like the guy I think older would
be better, so like fifty around that area, but a
young fifty, a guy that appreciates your you know you
are for our people. That's why everybody loves so much

(54:44):
about both of y'all is that you guys are on
ground zero when it comes to our people. So a
man that would respect that. But I think a lot
of men might feel like I can afford her because
do I have enough money to date her?

Speaker 1 (54:59):
That's true, they might, they probably can't.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
So week it's very tough.

Speaker 3 (55:03):
She doesn't really, She's tough, and she's tough.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Very tough.

Speaker 4 (55:11):
It's not just being tough. I'm also very particular and particular.
Being particular is not something that everybody can deal with.
But but you know what, I love the fact that
at this age that I'm at now, I'm two months
away from or less than two months away from forty four,
and now I'm finally in a space where I know

(55:32):
what I want and need and I'm not willing.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
To negotiate it. So if for some.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
Reason that's not where you are, I get it. But
I'm not even interested. And there are a lot of
people when men, with men having so many options, my
needs and my wants and my sort of I don't
want to use the word demand, they're just not interested
in that because they could go over here and get
all the things that they want and not have to

(55:58):
really put much in. So it's it's it's very difficult.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Now.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
I'm not saying that there are not some men who
have come to me, and I believe that they are.
They're they're good guys, Like they're good guys. They have
it together and they're doing all the things, but they
still have to me a little bit of an arrogance
that sweetie, I don't need you like you need me,
and that's never gonna happen.

Speaker 3 (56:22):
It's very I just want to know, like, what what
do you think that is the dating scene?

Speaker 5 (56:27):
Good?

Speaker 2 (56:27):
Is it bad? Like what are you seeing? Like? What
do you really seeing? It's hard?

Speaker 5 (56:32):
Oh yeah, the reason why it's horribone now, a couple
of things. So let's go back in the day, like
the old school relationship with grandmas and was dying, she
was dealing with stuff for granddaddy. Have you ever been
to a funeral and then at the first's funeral, kids
that you never knew of show up Like this literally happened,

(56:52):
and all my dad doesn't get mad. But when my
grandfather passed, my grandfather had two kids that lived down
south that showed up to the funeral that my dad
wasn't even aware of. And but obviously my grandmother knew.
And that was just something back then because it wasn't
we to have the internet, right, So you might know
your husband did something, but you just don't talk about it.

(57:15):
You know, he's the husband in this house, so he's
doing right by this family. Yes, he did something out
on those streets, but we're pushing forward. So now what
happens is so that's been going on forever, you know,
that's that's nothing new. The newness is Facebook, Instagram, TikTok,
you know YouTube where now there's track records. So now

(57:37):
as a woman, the whole world knows your man had
a baby, how do you stay and still save faith
by the world? Right, So that's one thing. But again,
back in the day, if there was a cute guy
in your city, all you had to worry about were
the other cute girls in your city. Now you got
to worry about the cute girls and all cities because

(57:58):
now he's on Instagram and he's and you're not just
in what the word competition with the girl in New York.
You're not on competition with the girl in la the
girl in Atlanta, the girl in Florida. Because he's traveling,
he got money and they can access him via his igdms.
But one thing I will say this, this is one
thing I have learned. People have a lot of situationship

(58:21):
options right as in there's a lot of options the
people you can have sex with now, that is true
men and women on both sides. But there's not a
lot of options when it comes to if you really
want to for real relationship, like this is my partner,
which I want to go back to what you said earlier,
the person that's going to be with me, if I

(58:41):
could have worked tomorrow and they're gonna wipe my behind
because I'm sick and I can't walk. You don't have
a lot of those options, and if that's what you're seeking,
then you'll be able to vet easy. The guy that
you mentioned earlier, let him go. Yeah, if you got
If you feel like you got ten options, you should
have ten because I'm not going to be a part
of that roster. I'm fine with you.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
I'm fine.

Speaker 1 (59:03):
Love it.

Speaker 4 (59:03):
I love hearing you talk about this with so much ease,
and we could talk forever. Uh but but you know,
it's it's it's it's sort of it's amos.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
It's almost like.

Speaker 4 (59:16):
There's so many little pieces to the puzzle of finding
your tribe, whether that be your man, your woman, your
people at work, your.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
You know, people in your industry.

Speaker 4 (59:29):
There's so many pieces to it, and it seems like
the negotiation of your wants and desires is something you have.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
To really be in tune with. What are you willing
to give.

Speaker 4 (59:41):
If it's if it's the money because they are a
good father, or if it's the whether or not they
may not be as culture. They don't, you know, they
go out somewhere and they like ghetto at the table,
and you gotta kind of teach them, like you really
have to be able to negotiate all those things, and
it's not easy. But hopefully your app and your show

(01:00:02):
provides people with the opportunity, whether they participate or not,
to just see and learn and kind of see themselves
and make a decision about how they want to show
up for the relationship that they're looking for.

Speaker 5 (01:00:14):
Well, I would say this, I would challenge, I'm gonna
talk to black people. How we know we all know
the game of spades, right, and dating really is like
a game of spades. We all have been dealt different cards.
You have to play your hand to the best of
your ability. Don't worry about the next person's hand because
that's not your hand. You said something earlier, Everything shifts,

(01:00:36):
like you know, you could be beautiful but let's say
you got two kids. Now that might be a cute
club in your hand. That takes away. You have to
learn your true dating hand. It's an individual game. It's
not not every black woman has the same dating options.
Not every white woman the same dating options. Now all
these white women are living with these it's just not true.

(01:00:56):
So learn your own dating hand and be okay with it.
You don't like her hand, do the work to perfect
yourself and become better so you can have better options.
And think about companionship. I know everybody wants money, and
I'm not saying you can't get money, but I love
the Candy and Tize relationship. Candy obviously makes a lot
of money, and I remember we watched that relationship play

(01:01:18):
itself out on Royal Housewives of Atlanta and her mother
wasn't a big fan of time because he didn't have
the money. And Kenny was like, I dated the man
with money and they weren't faithful. I couldn't build a
life with them. I'm happy and now they celebrate their
ten year anniversary, two kids, living life together, and that's
what it's about.

Speaker 3 (01:01:38):
Well, Kendra, thank you very much, and I want to
go on this app and see what's going on with
this app. I love watching the show. You know, it
makes me laugh for a lot of times. Just your
expressions when you having these conversations just be they make
me tickle.

Speaker 5 (01:01:54):
Yeah, the world is crazy. I can pouse for it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:59):
I know for sure you're out there and it.

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
Thank you and success all the success.

Speaker 5 (01:02:06):
Thank you, Thank y'all for having me, and thank y'all
for all that y'all do. Like, on a serious note,
what I do. You know, I think I am giving
something to the world, But what you guys have given
to the world and to are people Black people for
being voices for us and not just speaking about it,
but being out there. I mean, you guys will forever
be loved by us. And we're so grateful for the

(01:02:27):
work that both of you did. Like we can't say thank.

Speaker 4 (01:02:30):
You or not thank you, thank you sis, thank you
so much for joining in mind you gotta come back.

Speaker 1 (01:02:35):
Yes, my god, it was a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
It was a lot y'all had your I'm just paying attention.
I'm listening to y'all because y'all had a lot.

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
I mean, I feel like I get a little bit
tongue twisted when trying to express what I see playing
out and also my own experience. And I feel like
she's so easy flowing with it because she's been doing
it for a long time now it's four years, so
she's really getting to learn people's like, uh, characteristics and desires.

(01:03:13):
And I hope that it translates into the app being
more than just the singles app, but really something that
helps people to have safe, safe passageway.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
To find love. Well, I think is a little crazy.

Speaker 4 (01:03:27):
By the way.

Speaker 3 (01:03:27):
Oh yes, it's a lot of apps that I see.
I don't know how nobody does a dating app.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
I just I'm old.

Speaker 1 (01:03:33):
Schooled people who actually, yeah, happily married.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
I hear you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
I'm saying, I just hard story. It's just too much
for me. It's just it's very weird. But anyway, it's
just weird.

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Say that people being on the dating app is weird.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
It's weird to me, though, I'm just saying for me,
like I don't at the person me saying I want
to date somebody, and me just going through it for
me is weird.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
It's not it's not something for me because you don't
even know I'm saying it's weird to me. It might
be dope.

Speaker 3 (01:04:01):
It's people, like you said, the's people that get married
on I just think just listening to her, she lives
life on life's terms. She doesn't create an alternate, alternate reality.
And this is what I wanted to She understands that
this is what it is and she's okay with that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:16):
This is what life is. And I like this. I
don't like this. You like this, you do, and I'm
fine with it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:22):
And that's just it, you know, And I just I
think there aren't real, realistic conversations with a lot of
people when you talk about relationships in life.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
So but I'm interested to see.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
To see how it develops.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
I think it's going I think a show is already
you know.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
Yeah, it's not like watching it. It's going down on her.

Speaker 4 (01:04:44):
And she's very funny, like comedy definitely, and the people
are funny.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
It's like are they? I used to think it was curted, Like.

Speaker 3 (01:04:51):
I remember there was one guy that was telling he
was twenty years old and she was like, no, you're not,
and he was he looked like he was about seven.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
And then she's like he's like, how you know, how
old are you?

Speaker 1 (01:05:03):
And she.

Speaker 3 (01:05:05):
Was like, no, for real, how old are you asked
your age? And he kept saying. He got mad. He
was pissed off because she was basically saying, there's no way.

Speaker 4 (01:05:15):
I wonder, do you have to put your identification in,
like do you have to actually prove your age and
all that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
I mean, I would imagine that we will.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
We'll bring her back. We definitely gotta have Kindred back.
And that brings me to my I don't get it.

Speaker 5 (01:05:31):
Now.

Speaker 3 (01:05:33):
I don't know if you've been paying attention to the
news that's going on in hip hop a couple of
weeks ago, and and it's crazy to me that nobody
spoke about this. You know, sexy Read was at a
school and they wouldn't let her in. Was smelling like weed,
and she was She got on the internet and she

(01:05:54):
started talking about they won't let me in, but I
smell like we the kids want to see me. And
she got outside the car and then the kids was
waving at her. She was made a big thing. Now,
First of all, I don't get why sexy Red was
at the school for the kids. I don't get that.
But I don't get why she don't understand why they
don't want you in the school smelling like weed. You

(01:06:17):
come into school smelling like weed, and you thought that
made sense, and you mad at the teachers and you
mad at the security.

Speaker 2 (01:06:23):
Like I think, how did we get this far?

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
I don't get how we got this far because I
would I don't even understand the mentality like you going
to school with kids like take don't smoke that day,
don't don't smoke that day that you small just say, yo,
you know what, I'm going to do something positive?

Speaker 2 (01:06:46):
I want to.

Speaker 4 (01:06:46):
I want to.

Speaker 2 (01:06:47):
I want to show.

Speaker 3 (01:06:48):
Up professional to let the kids see a different you know,
I know I have this image that is not polished already.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
But I want to show something different. I want to
give back to the kids.

Speaker 3 (01:06:58):
I want to inspire them to do under positive like
why would you want to show up smell like weed to.

Speaker 2 (01:07:03):
The school with the kids? Like I just don't. I
don't understand.

Speaker 3 (01:07:07):
Maybe it's me, maybe I'm old, but when I was young,
I wouldn't have done no shit like that, you know,
And it's just and I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
And you don't smoke weed, but I wouldn't.

Speaker 3 (01:07:15):
I wouldn't give a fuck if I smoked weed. I
wouldn't smoke weed. Going to the school with the.

Speaker 4 (01:07:21):
Kids, like a lot of people that we know that
smoke weed and they don't care where to go.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
But you can't. Don't go to the school with the kids.

Speaker 3 (01:07:29):
If you know that you got to go and you're
going to speak to the kids, and the kids are
going to you don't smoke weed going to the school.

Speaker 4 (01:07:36):
I mean no, I mean, at least you shouldn't be
upset if you are not allowed or not permitted on
the grounds of a school because you smell like you've
been smoking weed.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
I agree with you.

Speaker 4 (01:07:53):
I also think though, that sexy Red is young, right,
so these young kids do a whole lot of things
that don't It doesn't make sense to us, right. And
I can see how in her mind, I'm not smoking
the weed here. I smoked it wherever, and I just
happen to have this smell on me, right. I could

(01:08:15):
see how she rationalized that as a young person and
really thinks it's okay.

Speaker 2 (01:08:21):
You want to go to the school. High.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
I'm trying to say, why why.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
Am I going to see elementary school kids?

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
High?

Speaker 4 (01:08:29):
And I'm telling you why because some people, including some
adults that we are friends with, they smoke weed every
second of the day.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
But that's why they don't go to school, right, They
don't go to the school and pick the kids.

Speaker 4 (01:08:43):
They don't go to events and functions, and they smell
like weed everywhere they go.

Speaker 1 (01:08:48):
Like that's a real thing.

Speaker 2 (01:08:49):
Listen, I've been ill.

Speaker 1 (01:08:53):
I'm not saying that it's right.

Speaker 4 (01:08:54):
So I just want to be very clear that I'm saying, no,
you don't go to a school event or go to
a school to see children smelling like you you smoke
weed or smelling like geling like liquor or smelling like that.
I totally agree with you. I'm just saying these young
kids they think different.

Speaker 3 (01:09:12):
Nah, but I wouldn't even that's some ship that why
are you gonna come to the internet and tell us that,
like we're supposed to be on your side, you sex.
We wasn't on your side when you got out the
car and you said to them like they won't let
you in and you smell like weed and the kids
want to see you know, we.

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
Wasn't on your.

Speaker 4 (01:09:28):
If you look at the comments section for some things,
like I was looking at the comment section of some
stuff on the Shade Room the other day. It's we
living in two, three, four different worlds with them the
very same thing.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
No, I mean, I'm trying to tell you that the.

Speaker 4 (01:09:43):
Very same thing that I see people posting, like for instance,
you know how you know, how you post something or
like something will happen, and it's posted on every blog,
every blogs. That's a different type of audience based upon
what they've cultivated. So when you go to the baller

(01:10:05):
alert comment section when they post the same thing that
was posted on the Shave Rooms, same thing posted on
Hollywood Unlock, it's different.

Speaker 1 (01:10:16):
Types of people in all these places.

Speaker 4 (01:10:18):
So when Sexy rad posts that she has an audience,
that's like, I can't believe that that happened to you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
And meanwhile, and that's that audience is very scary to me.

Speaker 4 (01:10:30):
It's true, But I'm just saying it's very different because
I was looking at something the other day and I
looked at baller Alert's comment section on it, and you
could see, honestly a much more professional and you know,
just a different mindset on how they responded, how the comment.

Speaker 1 (01:10:47):
Section there was.

Speaker 4 (01:10:48):
It was like you could, you could, you could go
in there and have some conversations. Then I was in
the Shave Room comments, same post, and it was like, Yo,
what WHOA, I'm not writing anything over here because I
know whenever I go in the shape room, I already
know I gotta go in there ready to do ge
it out or you just got to put your shit
up there and let it go.

Speaker 1 (01:11:06):
So I think all of.

Speaker 4 (01:11:07):
Them are important because in the moments when there's information
that needs to get out there, when everybody is aligned
and we push messaging together because we have seen them
do that sometimes even though they still don't do it enough,
but when they do push that message in, you know
that all different types of people are getting the information,

(01:11:29):
and so you know, I think it's important to have
all these different outlets, but it's different types of people,
and I think Sexy Red is in an echo chamber
with people who really do agree and support her on
most of the things that she's saying.

Speaker 2 (01:11:46):
Good luck, we've come to the end of the road.

Speaker 1 (01:11:50):
Although we've come.

Speaker 2 (01:11:52):
That's right to the end of the road, to the
end of another show.

Speaker 3 (01:11:56):
Shout out to all I would guests, Kendra Gee, we
appreciate you. Shut up to our fans for making us
the number one the number one.

Speaker 1 (01:12:05):
Bonding what is it?

Speaker 4 (01:12:06):
It is the bonding of the sexes, and we're gonna
keep uncovering every week.

Speaker 3 (01:12:11):
Every week, it's gonna be dope. It's gonna be dope.
I love the energy so far. I'm looking forward to
the next episode. We appreciate y'all. If you have any ideas,
send them to t m I. You know, let us
know what you don't like, what you do like the show.

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
No, it's not the show. It's t m I.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
Underscore show, t m MY underscore show. I'm not gonna
always be right to make it the Mallory is not
gonna always be wrong, but we both always and I
mean always be authentic.

Speaker 2 (01:12:51):
Check out the video version of t m

Speaker 1 (01:12:53):
I every single Wednesday on Iwoman dot tv.