Standing Tall: An Emotional Journey of Recovery and Resilience with Guest Sharel Jones

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm Tamika D. Mallory and it's.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Your boy my Son in general.

Speaker 1 (00:03):
We are your host of TMI.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Tamika and my Son's Information, Truth, Motivation and Inspiration.

Speaker 1 (00:09):
New Name, New Energy.

Speaker 3 (00:14):
What's going on, I saw, Lennon.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I can't complain, man, I woke up. God gave me
another day to breathe, and I'm happy stood that.

Speaker 4 (00:23):
I am just finishing up several days of being with
a group in Massachusetts where we have been meeting with
young people and women, and we were in a beautiful
wine vineyard and then also a youth center, and you know,
I feel uplifted by spending time with the really, really

(00:47):
amazing people. So now I'm hold up in my whole
l before going out my next appointment, just trying to
talk about the issues of the day. There's so much
going on, and I just want to make sure we
give a big shout out to the Black Effect Podcast Network.
Five years. It's been five years. I remember when Charlotte

(01:08):
made hit me up and asked me, you know, he's
like you and my saw doing your podcast right, And
I said, oh yeah, I said yeah, we've been doing
it for a few years on our own. And he
said Okay, you know, I'm going to get back to you,
but I think I have an idea. And when he called,
and by the way, we have been pouring all our
own money.

Speaker 3 (01:27):
There wasn't a dime, No it had given us anything.

Speaker 4 (01:30):
We were hustling us right shout out to cat Trick
for open En Up Catscape production. She believed in us
and helped us get started and invested a lot of
time and resources in the beginning stages of the podcast.
And I remember what we were when we started the show.

(01:51):
We were doing it wherever, like in an office downtown.
I mean, we literally was just trying to find anywhere
to record because we knew that there was a need
for people like us, people who are actually every day
engaged in the work, to have a platform distinct directly,
you know, to the world about what we were doing.

(02:12):
It's really hard when you're trying to get your message
in a sound bite for these TV shows that may
or may not call you, may or may not have
you on depends on if you're the flavor of the moms.
You see other people claiming your work or being on
TV speaking about your work. You also see people mischaracterizing

(02:32):
what has happened on the ground, and so I just
you know, I felt like we really needed to create
a space, but I never really wanted to be in
front of the camera all the time. And I'm glad
that you were very persistent, like we have to do it.
It's very important, and we did. And now not only
have we been doing our own podcast for I guess
about seven years now, but be five if we've been

(02:55):
a part of an incredible family, and that is the
Black Effect Podcast Network.

Speaker 3 (03:00):
So shout out to.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
Dolly who really makes it happen, Taylor, and it's the
whole team over there. I don't want to be naming
people because there's so many of them will make the
machine go. And of course to our brother Charlotte made
a guy who you know, knows we ain't always going
to agree on every topic. He texts me or we
always debating in the group channel, Oh why I don't agree,

(03:24):
And we say the same thing about certain topics on
the Breakfast Club. But it's good to know that his
business model is not control what we say. It is
to really have debate where people have the ability to
speak their truth, or at least to speak to speak
our truth or their truth right, Well.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
Listen, man to me, everybody has to have the opportunity
to speak the truth. So shout out to Shoving and
shout out to the whole Black offic Network. You know
this work that we've done. I look, I told you,
we have to make sure that we doctor and we
have space, especially in this era, in this time when
they're trying to silence, specially the voices that's talking about
the things that we're talking about. So we definitely appreciate

(04:05):
speaking of the work that we do. I seen our
brother Benjamin Crump just had a birthday, so I wanted
to shot him out of a birthday. That's one of
the people who've been with us in the trenches doing
this work. A lot of people don't know. They just
think Ben got this little his suit on and they
go to the cours with that man. It's deeply entrenched

(04:27):
man and he takes on cases that he feel it's
not about money with it's about really getting justice from him.
So you know, he's he's a brother in mom So
I just want to make sure we shouted him out.
As we celebrated the Black Effect Network, we had a
get together which was a beautiful get together. See a

(04:48):
podcast shout out to Learning the Roads to who were
hosted to sit down panel, and she's down to talk
to some of the other podcasters that was there. It
was a beautiful vat. You know, I had some good wine,
so we'll shut out to that.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
Yeah, I'm glad to see Charlotte Mane continue to grow.
You know, he is a personality and like I said,
we don't always agree on every topic, and so I
know there are some people who are like, oh, you know,
they get to see him every day and they're some
of their commentary and door whatever they think about him,

(05:24):
which he all care at all but say which you know,
sometimes I try to make him care when I'm mad,
but he people need to know that the behind the scenes,
this man is a very very strong business person. And
also he has set up a number of black women
and black people in phositions to grow from their perspectives,

(05:46):
you know. And again that I think is important when
you have somebody who is literally empowering you even if
you are in bedlock he disagreeing with him, but he
still makes sure you have a voice and also trying
to get people paid in the process.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
So I just you know, I'm very very, very grateful
for that.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
So now I want to get into my thought of
the day, because you know, I feel like we need
a refresher often when you're dealing with politics, because people
start running for office a year, maybe even two years

(06:28):
before the actual election period, and in the middle of that,
so many things happened. Media intervention, Sarah DIDs you know
people's ideas, opinions. You meet folks on the ground who
feel one way or the other about candidates, and we
have to continuously circle back to remind people both.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Some of these folks are I don't believe.

Speaker 4 (06:53):
That any one of any candidate running for anything anywhere
at all it's perfect, and or that politics will even
allow you to be the ideal pueling that you would
like to be in your life, because there is a
lot of concessions that have to be made. You can't

(07:14):
be an effective politician without a level of compromised. Sometimes
people got to piss people off on all sides, and
sometimes quite frankly, you compromise things that you really truly
do not feel comfortable with. But you if you are
a strategic elected official and you're trying to get things done,

(07:38):
you can see where there is no path in certain directions,
so you have to be able to pivot it and
moved as shape. And so I get that. So nobody
has to argue me to say, oh, well, you know,
you know we're looking for and I know there's some
people out there that are looking for the perfect one,
and I know that doesn't exist. But there are some

(07:58):
people who behave their actions, the things that they have done.
It's literally egregious, and it is and it is supposed
to be what we stay we stand against.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
So from the thought of the day's day, I want
to talk about.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
White men who can literally get away with anything and
still return or at least tried to return to power.
It waves that black and brown men could never ever do.
And Angel Clomo, the former governor of New York State,
is an example of that. Number One, this is a

(08:37):
man that New York State, it is being reported, has
paid almost sixty million dollars six zero million dollars to
settle his sexual abuse lawsuits. Sixty You'll show me one

(08:58):
black or black or Latino men in the entire country
that a state paid sixty million dollars.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
You're showing me want to pay six.

Speaker 4 (09:14):
Sixty million dollars it may be a six million dollars
a person. Maybe it may be an elected official who's
stilling it because, by the way, a lot of it,
there's absolutely absolutely because a lot of these cases get
settled and most people don't even know that it happened.
But we're talking about sixty million dollars of New York

(09:36):
State taxpayer dollars has been spent settling lawsuits from people
or with people, women who have accused Andrew Cuomo of
sexual abuse or harassment, sexual assault, feeling undermined and uncomfortable

(09:58):
in the workplace in New York City government.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Now that alone, with.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
This qualified everybody else except him and Donald Trump, which
brings me to my next and other white man, But
that brings me to my next point. Angel Clomo, who
happens to be on the legal team of Benjamin Netting Yahoo,
who is the man that the International Criminal Courts has

(10:26):
classified as submitting law crimes against the Palestinian people. Okay,
this is a man that whether the CC identified him
or classified him that way or not, which, by the way,
many other nations have joined that decision.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
And also, and I just heard.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
Recently that Netting Yahoo has to why around take the
longer way to get to places like the United States
that has not classified him that way, so that in
the event that he's in the air or has to
land somewhere, he doesn't land in places where they may

(11:08):
arrest him.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Okay, this is the situation. This is this man.

Speaker 3 (11:12):
But even if no one.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
Ever said these things about him, you and I and
the majority of people that I talk to every day
just looking at him, and that includes people in the
Jewish community, very conservative Jews. I've even talked as dyingists
who at this point are saying that Benjamin net Yahoo
in a way that he's approaching the situation there with

(11:33):
Israel and Palestine is a crime.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
So that's it, Andrew Carmol, that's the audacity to sit.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
On the legal team to defend this man.

Speaker 4 (11:46):
So that's number two sixty million dollars, okay, in settlements
to women who have flamed sexual abuse or sexual harassment
Benjamin and Yahood lawd Now the third category, and I'm
sure let's not talk about how many people died during COVID,

(12:09):
elderly people in senior centers and nursing homes, nursing halls.
That's the right thing. Let's not talking about him undermining
the black leadership within the state of New York by
creating another group of people people of color mainly talking
with the Republicans to override the decisions of a black

(12:32):
woman by the name of Andrea Stewart Cousins who was
the speaker.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
Okay, let's not even get into all of the u
the local minutia. Okay.

Speaker 4 (12:42):
But the last category, okay, is that this man, in
addition to all of these things, his donors are pretty much.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Many of them the same as Donald Trump's donors.

Speaker 4 (12:57):
Okay, Bill Ackman, who is one of Donald Trump's donate donors. Okay,
it's also and who Plomo's donor. We guess what. Bill
Ackman is one of the architects of the anti diversity,
equity and inclusion movement that because of it, have now

(13:17):
put almost four hundred thousand and we believe even that
is an undercount of black women out of work across
the country. What we what I'm talking about? Oh, you know, Mondani.
He wants to give some free housing and door freeze
people's rent. He wants to build some grocery source, he

(13:40):
wants to change the the he wants to build some
froof to give our free groceries or very low groceries.
He also wants to to do away with the gifted
and talented programs in school.

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Some people disagree, others agree.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
But I haven't heard that anything, anything that has been
said from Mandani that would give me the impression that
he's aligned with that.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
And y'all, y'all say, y'all.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
He wore a criminals. I see y'all all the time.
I do not see him taking money from Trump's Donuts.
Who y'all playing is the worst person in the world,
That's what y'all say. And I definitely don't see him
paying sixty million dollars for having the state pay sixty
million dollars for sex sexual harassment and abuse.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
What are we talking about, Well, they.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Gonna say that you're race bating, you know, because that's
the first thing we say, Oh yeah, we go about race,
We go about.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Race, and he is a white man.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
I'm saying, I'm with you. I'm just trying to I'm
gonna get in front of you because that's the first
thing they're gonna come and say.

Speaker 5 (14:48):
Oh, you're talking about race. All y'all want to do.
Everything is race.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
The reality is as black people. As a black man,
I know that no black man can get away with.
Colhen has got away with when it comes to these
sixty million dollars, and he's the sexual assault accusations that
he actually it's past accusations, because when you make settlements,
that means that you admitted the guilt. So that's the
reality of that. And I know those things wouldn't happen.

(15:13):
But just the mere fact that he was forced to
leave being the governor based on these accusations, he had
to step down, left his post, leave to try to
come back a few a year later to say, you
know what, I'm fit to be mayor. It's just crazy.
That's you know that, that is the craziest shit I've
ever seen you. You had to leave offense because the

(15:36):
accusations against you were so strong that they said, look,
we no longer think you fit to govern the city.
Now you come right back to try to govern the city.
It is unrealistic.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
In the state he was, he was, he was just
a five.

Speaker 3 (15:50):
For government state.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Now you're saying you could run the city when you
couldn't run the state. And just the just the mayor
act that they keep doing shit like this to us,
like the same thing that happened with Trump. He got
impeachd twice and then they come back and tell you
he can run the United States of America, and we
see that that shit is a complete catastrophe. Now you're
talking about the same donuts that represent him, I mean

(16:13):
that are donating to Trump or donating to him, So
that means that they are a lot exactly. So that
means they're gonna be working together with them, and that
means that he's going to undermine a lot of the
pot of things that's trying to be done inside of
New York City. And it's crazy. We understand exactly what's

(16:33):
going on, but they play with us like we stupid,
and some of us actual and some of us actually
are stupid, but some of us we know better than
to act like we don't see what we see and
we understand what they're doing. Another implementation, implementation of Project
twenty twenty five. Here, you completely disstabilize every day and

(16:53):
you run from the presidency is going to be overhauled.
He is going to completely take over all these cities.
There's nobody to push against him. I was watching an
interview on Steph Koburgh last night with Kamala Harris. The
crazy thing that she said was it was it was real.

(17:14):
He said, Yo, he was talking to me and he said, ya,
you pretty much predicted all of these things. You said
that he would use the military against the people. You
said that we would prosecute all of the people or
his political adversaries. You said that the economy will look
like all these days. And she said, you know what,
I didn't pretict what. I did not predict the capitulation.

(17:36):
She said, I thought there would be people who believed
in democracy, who were justice warriors and people who would
stand up. But I didn't. I did not predict that
people will could picture late like this. And it's crazy
to watch it. It's crazy that you see people that
you once had some little little faith in just saying
you know what, I'm not thinking quite back. You know,

(17:57):
it's crazy that we're watching that he's completely running the
government like it is the mafia, and he's saying, yo,
you're either gonna do this, You're gonna kiss the ring,
or we ain't sending no fund in there, and we're
gonna send the police to estate and we're gonna have
the National Guard in the streets and we're gonna just
do whatever we want. It's crazy that we actually have
to watch this. See these so quot leaders just fall

(18:21):
to their knees. It's it's unrealistic to you.

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Yeah, well, listen, Andrew Como would say he fought Trump.
You know that may be true, and you know, I'm
not saying that he didn't push back again, stytle Trump's
part of the thing was people would see him on
TV during COVID and he was, you know, so good
at saying where Trump was bugging.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
And this is not the same trunk. See this, it's
not even that super administration, and this Trump administration is
completely different Trump administration. She has no respect for anyone else.
They have he has, he has, He is going by
a playbook. He has people in his cabinet right now

(19:06):
who are held or completely controlling everything. It's not the
same truck. Before there was pushback, there was a complete capitulation.
There was people who understood that the shit that he
was saying and doing was crazy and it didn't make sense,
and there were people pushing back. Now, in the era
of Trump capitulation, you are you look just like the
rest of them.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Well, I don't.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
I would say, I'm gonna say that that Naylor may
not be true, right because even Eric Adams his office
has sold Donald Trump and the federal government multiple times,
even since he went and went down to Marlago and
kiss syringe, he still had sued him many, multiple, multiple lawsuits.

Speaker 3 (19:46):
That's out there. So I'm not gonna say they're not.

Speaker 4 (19:48):
But what I will say is that when you and
I are taking money from the same people, there's a
special interest.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
Okay, a lot of it is these.

Speaker 4 (19:57):
Predatory developers you have, of course, the anti DEI people
and just outright nasty people who will I'm sure if
you look really deep into some of the stuff that
they have going on, pretty racist. It's definitely racist, sexist,
and every other kind of is to be against diversity, equity,

(20:19):
and inclusion. And these are the same people funding both
of them. And so that gives you an idea that
whether or not you fight Trump doesn't matter. You still
agree with people who agree with him, and that should
never be something that folks who sit around trying to
they what was it that they want to come alt
a win because they wanted to go to a party
at the White House or did you want to win

(20:39):
because you were trying to fight against authoritarianism and fascism.
Because if that's the case, and then the same people
that funded that man are funding this guy, there's no
way that you could tell me that that makes sense.
I understand that we live in a contradictory world, like
all of us, we are walking contradictions, but some stuff
should be like the Holy Grail. I guess, so there's that. Okay,

(21:05):
so let's get into the TMI today. People just doing
too much soft people have told me, no, it's just
an opinion. Be ain't doing too much Stephen A.

Speaker 3 (21:14):
Smith.

Speaker 4 (21:15):
You know, I've never ever said a word about Steven A.
Smith's nonsense, right, because you know, I'm not I don't
even really watch sports that well. I'm one of those
people I know a little bit about basketball, and oh
I might go I might go to a game because
I like experience this, But I'm not a person who
really is a sports sports person.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Most of the time I hear Stephen A.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
Smith either because a clip shows up on my social
media or and I don't even listen to that, or
it is because as I am, you know, laying in
the bed waking up obviously the gentleman that I'm in
a relationship with.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
Has it on. That's the way that I know anything
or happy to hear anything about Steven A. Smith.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
So I've never said what people should do and should
they support him or not. But I noticed that a
lot of black women I've heard him say things that
I feel is it's not just nasty, but it's also
raw men. You know, the Kyrie Irving stuff I did
pay attention to, and you know, we're very protective of Kyrie,

(22:23):
and so Stephen A. Smith, as far as I'm concerned,
he disrespected Kyrie.

Speaker 3 (22:30):
I think he was wrong about what he said there
as well.

Speaker 4 (22:33):
And I get that people get to have an opinion,
But when you have a large platform and you are
sewing things that are untrue and things that help to
continue other attacks that's going on around people who are
trying to do good, people who are trying to do
the right thing, it has to be challenged at some point.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
So I asked a question for black men, at.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
What point is there going to be a campaign that
is led by black men?

Speaker 3 (23:01):
At least forget about whoever else.

Speaker 4 (23:04):
Watching Stephen A. Smith, but at least that some black men,
most black men. I would hope would want to at
least protect Jasmine Crockett who is out here as a
congresswoman putting her life on the line every single day
for us, for the people.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
Why do I think this is important?

Speaker 4 (23:23):
Well, there's a common factor between what Stephen A. Smith
said about Kyrie Irvin now what he is doing with
Jasmine Crockett.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
And the terminality is that he keeps saying.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
He said about Kyrie Irvin, stop doing things that's going
to mess up your money, you know, stop doing things
to mess up you're in there causing problems. Now he's
saying Jasmin Crockett and her poshred that she's taken.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
You need to try to work with Donald Trump.

Speaker 4 (24:00):
You think that just spewing insults is going to get
something done. Aren't you supposed to be over there working
with him to get things for your constituents? Right?

Speaker 1 (24:11):
And he said that ain't a day's work.

Speaker 4 (24:13):
You ain't doing nothing in a day if all you
do is sit around and talk about Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
And that tells me the type of person that Stephen A.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Smith is.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
He believes that Kyrie Irvin getting a paycheck and making
money is more important than him standing up for what
he believes in and saying what Stephen A. Smith doesn't
have the people to say, Okay, that's what he thinks.
He it's better for him to, you know, for him
to just go and as you said to Pitually in

(24:43):
the last segment, to capitulate so he can make some money.
And instead, Kyrie Irvin is one of the strongest supports
of our movement. To a person that you could call
in a clutch and say, hey, we can't make payroll,
we need money. Somebody who's willing to speak up for
Palace and he for Black Lives Matter and for other
issues that he hears.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
About, you could never you could never be that Stephen A.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
Smith.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
And that's why you also don't understand that Jazzmy Crockett
is doing noble job by speaking up against white supremacy,
against racism.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
He is challenging these people.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
If you ever watched her on the floor at a hearing,
the way in which she is prepared with that in
details to challenge these people who are criminals literally running
this nation, you could never do that because you know
what you need to get your paycheck.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
And so the TMI for me today is that at
some point Stephen A.

Speaker 3 (25:41):
Smith has to be shown and the people who pay
him have to.

Speaker 4 (25:45):
Be shown that he does not represent us and that
what he is saying, because my thing is as a
black woman right with the walk and true gum. At
the same time, Jasmine Crockett has delivered millions of dollars
in projects to her community. She has also worked on

(26:05):
and has introduced ian has had pass a number of
bills that have been important for people of color that
you could go google it and sit and go thrule
the specific bills, but she has worked on a number
of issues and been a part of things that have
been extremely helpful to the American people now.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
And by the way, let me just go tell you one.

Speaker 4 (26:28):
Or two, because I don't want nobody to say, oh, well,
I don't know, I don't know, I don't.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Know exactly vision. And let's be clear. Let's be clear.

Speaker 4 (26:36):
This is not just as a United States congress person.
She also was a local legislator in Texas and she
delivered on behalf of her people and guess what she
got reelected. So obviously the folks in her districts, the
people in Texas believe that this woman is out there fighting.

Speaker 1 (26:56):
On our behalf. But somebody has.

Speaker 4 (26:58):
To have the world speak up and to speak truth
to power in front of these people and not be
afraid or not be too caught up in the politics
of it all and the money of it all, to
speak up for our folks and let us see the
difference between.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
The truth and the line. And Jazz nec.

Speaker 4 (27:15):
Crocket is out here speaking the truth. And I believe
that as black men, we need a movement from black
men that's led by people who actually pay attention to
anything that Stephen A.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
Smith says to just let people know.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
I'm not saying that there needs to be some all
out boycott. That's not my place to say or not
for me to say, but I believe that there absolutely
needs to be something done to let Stephen A.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
Smith know. You can talk all you want, but when.

Speaker 4 (27:42):
You start attacking black women who could literally die. There's
death threats against this woman's life every day, and you're
sitting up here at your voice to that, whether you
think so or not, that's a problem for me. But
you know, reached out to me and say, oh, well,
maybe you should just go on his show and talk
about the issues. That's fine if he wants to invite

(28:05):
means to come and talk about Jasmin Crocketts her legislative accomplishments.
We can do that, but the main thing is that
after all, Wow, it becomes too much when you were
just allowing somebody this is my opinion, to just stick
and still be invited to the cooked out, But every
time you turn around, they add their voice to the nonsense,

(28:29):
the disrespect and the disrespect that is happening to people
who look like us, and particularly a black woman who
gives up every day fighting.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
For Listen, everything you say imeried those sentiments. It's unfortunate
because last week, I mean, I actually did you know
a post about Steven A. Smith And it wasn't even
about this issue. It was about you know, him just
talking about politics and him talking about how people like

(28:59):
you said need to capitulate the Trump and wasn't just Crockett.
And it was just like, why would you utilize your
voice as a man who does sports to talk about
capitulated Trump? You never cook You basically always act like
what Trump is doing? This right, I'm not going to
say anything about Trump. I'm not gonna say this, but
he utilized his voice to talk about, you know, the
super Bowl.

Speaker 5 (29:19):
He was mad about them sending ice to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
But prior he has said that he thought it was
okay to send ice that they needed to get rid
of the immigrants to that body had did so much wrong.
That's the reason why it seem to be he was
okay with it, but he had an issue with them
sending ice to the Super Bowl because of inconvenience him
and he wanted to be able to sit there and watch,
you know, the Super Bowl in peace, so they can
get rid of the immigrants anywhere else, but not at

(29:45):
the super Bowl. So that didn't make sense to me
because as a black man, you understand that they sent
an ice to communities that look like us, with skin
color like us. They have the same realities that you
come from. So I didn't understand that. But the thing is,
Stephen A. Smith has a long history. You know, we
talk about Kyrie, you know, we talk about what he's
what he said about Lebron's son, and he's constantly been

(30:08):
disrespecting that man. We talk about even the other day
with Serena. William's husband had to check him because he
talked about her. You know, we talk about what he
said about Jalen. You know, we can go on and
on about how he's always utilized his voice to disrespect
other black people. And what he said is he capitulates

(30:28):
he won't talk about the white people in the organizations
that do anything wrong. He finds the silver line and
he finds, you know, the politically correct thing to say
about them, But he has no problem disrespect black people. Now,
when you talk about the Jasmine Crockett situation, it's like,
I guess it's overflowing. It's getting to a point I said,
I don't want to argue and be for other black

(30:50):
people that you have to call them in because at
this point he's detrimental and they see him as a
black person who speaks for us, and you know, he
speaks about what's going on our communities, and it's not
a good representation. You know, Jasuc Crockett is one of
the most fearless fighters that we have who are pushing
back against an administration. You trying to make people work

(31:11):
with somebody that doesn't want to work with it, that
has shown that they.

Speaker 5 (31:15):
Don't have any level of you know, stab.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
Anything to work with. Somebody told you you acting us
act like we don't know that we're being disrespected.

Speaker 5 (31:26):
You acting us to go in there and kiss the
raid like you probably would do it.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Everybody is not like that, Stephen a slip, So I
definitely get you, you know, especially as a black man.
I think that there should be some type of come
to Jesus moment with Steven A. Smith. Sometimes we got
to sit around. We might have to have a meeting
as black men and tell him how what he does
is detrimental, you know, and hopefully he might change his mind.

Speaker 5 (31:50):
But I don't really see it. I think he's too
far going at this moment.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
I think Steven A. Smith has made a decision that
his paycheck is the most important thing to him, so
it also his views. So he realizes that as long
as he says something that's anti black people, that's antip
what he believes is democratic. Right now, that's what the
algorithm is. He wants to He probably wants to see
if he could run for office. He stepped into a

(32:14):
political realm now, so he's no longer just the sports
and listen anymore. He has this Straight Shooter podcast that
he goes on. He talks about all these political things.
So this is intentional. So he's really just trying to
get in the algorithm, and he's utilized black people, and
he understands that jas mc crockett is one of the
most hottest up and coming political voices right now, and

(32:35):
he wants to find a way to get into the algorithm.
So it's disrespectful. You know, I'm glad that you called
him out because I'm gonna always call him out. But
the reality situation is, we can't as black people just
continuously sit by and watch our people's voices be utilized
to against us. It just can't keep happening. He to
talking about the cookout. You can't keep coming the cookout

(32:57):
when you bring in the white people's potato selling, it
ain't gonna work, especially when you ain't white. You can't.
You can't come with the white people to say the
salad and bringing nothing else all the time. You always
come with the stalelass potato salad and we tie they
hear it, we tie them tato sealer.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
Steven Well, it is what it is. I think that
Stephen Smith, at this point, it's.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Not just.

Speaker 4 (33:22):
Walk the tears because he needed it's no longer an
opinion at this point. I believe it's intentional disinformation, misinformation.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, sabotage, sabotage misinformation like this. This is this has
always been the tool of the oppressor to use another
black person. That's what they do. Even when we talk
about the HBCU situation, the blesit wants to send black
other black conservatives and it is pure their white talking point.
This is what they do, and we have to stand
up and say we're not gonna deal with it. It's

(33:55):
not wrong, all right.

Speaker 4 (33:59):
So we have an interview coming up with a young
woman that I was really kind of hesitant because I
didn't want to it sools her you know, her name
is Charelle Jones. That she fought her way out of
very serious addiction, addiction to drugs, addiction to alcohol, homelessness
or houselessness, losing our children so much. And I was like,

(34:24):
oh my god, I don't think that if we put
her on the air, you know, like, are people going
to now know this story of this woman who does
not look like what she's been.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
Through, but she is so.

Speaker 4 (34:37):
Committed to using her story to help heal others. And
this is probably one of the most important interviews that
we've done on this show. So please check out an
interview that we previously take and taped it last week
with Charelle Jones of I used to be you, all right,

(34:58):
So today, hey, we are, as we've already been talking
about during this show, talking about disparities in terms of
women's health, and particularly something that I don't think we.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
Talk about enough. You and I already said this, but.

Speaker 4 (35:16):
Just that, you know, when people look at those of
us who have suffered with addiction, the thing that they
don't often understand or realize is how little culturally competent
services there are to really help people who look like us.

(35:38):
And so, you know, one day I was in the
hair salon and I was, I don't know, having a conversation.
I have no idea how this came up, but I
met this sister, Cherrelle Jones who's joining us today, and
you she you so told me her story that she

(35:58):
was ten years is sober at that point, ten years,
no drinking, no nothing, just nothing, just completely clean, clean system.
I don't know about cold turkey, but a clean system.
And I was just thinking, you know, she was talking
about her sister and how her sister really had to
fight to help her get the services that she needs,

(36:22):
and how you know how difficult it was. But I
know that you know, for many of us, we're not
going to go to the local method one clinic, right,
We're not going to go to the local hospital to
get the service that we need, especially if we're somebody
that does not look like your average person who's addicted.

(36:44):
And so to know that you started a foundation and
it's called I used to be you. Yes, it feels
like these are the types of services that when we're
in a time that this administration, the federal government particularly
well the federal government has made a decision to defund

(37:05):
addiction services.

Speaker 3 (37:07):
Meanwhile, people like.

Speaker 4 (37:08):
You need the money to really have the type of
budgets and resources necessary so that you could go out
and help people who are only they're not gonna turn
like I said, to the local clinic. They're gonna need
to be in a space with somebody who they trust,
someone who they believe in, and a person and people

(37:28):
right who have experience and can respect their confidentiality, but
more over, provide them with a space that's more than
just getting off the drug, but also trying to heal
some of the things that's going on in the inside.
So anyway, we've been talking about this already just as
a part of this particular episode, and I'd love to

(37:51):
hear more from you.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Charelle.

Speaker 4 (37:53):
Thank you first of all for joining the TMI show
just about you know.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
I used to be you. How did that come to be?

Speaker 4 (38:03):
And not just like when did you start the organization,
but just your overall story of who you are and
how you come to this space.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
I don't know if you wanted to say something before.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
You can, let us start with that first. Thank you
for having me. Oh, I have been and remember how
it started. We were talking to a young lady about autism,
told her to go ahead and started yes her progress.
So how do I start this? Ye? My picture prior
to that, like you said, we have the same he addresser.

(38:36):
I reached out to her. She said, she's so busy,
and trust me, your time is going to come. And
the way God.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Works you just be at the Hansalon.

Speaker 3 (38:44):
You can you know He works in mysterious ways. I
first became addicted to alcohol in the age of fourteen.
At sixteen, it was cocaine, at eighteen it was crack cocaine,
and at twenty four to twenty five it was heroin.
It came from Trump. It came from molestation. I was

(39:05):
molested from the age of six to twelve every summer
for six years straight. Prior to using drugs. I could
smell his breath, I could hear his voice. I couldn't sleep,
I would rebel. Both my parents were addicts, raised by
my grandma, and I was introduced to alcohol.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
And when I drank the alcohol, Yeah, you didn't hear
these voices.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
No, it warmed me. It warmed my body. And heroin,
crack cocaine was the love I thought I didn't have,
and heroin was the hug I needed.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
Right.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
So the more I used, the more it became numb.
I didn't care that I was raised by my grandma.
I didn't care that I heard my mother tell a
judge that I don't want these kids. You know, I'm
signing my rates over as a parent, you know what
I mean. At fourteen years old, I just remember saying

(40:09):
to my father's wife at the time, Oh, I'm never
gonna be like my mom. I'm never gonna use drugs.
I'm never gonna have children and leave them because of drugs.
And I did. I've seen how many kids you have?
Nineteen eighteen and my youngest is gonna be thirteen and
raised with three different family members. One is with my dad,

(40:32):
one is of my aunt, and one is with my sister.
You spoke about my sister and how she helped me.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Mind you.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
I've been to every rug program in New York, every rehab.
When it gets cold, that's where I run. I do
minor crimes. So I could just go to write us
for a little bit of time because cold outside. Never
because I wanted to stop. I never had the desire
you to stop using drugs because again, numbed all pain,

(41:02):
all pain. When I tell you, man, I was six
and I felt a man private six. Now this is
his family. You're talking about family, you know, grown men,
not a teenager. We took about grown and then I have,

(41:24):
you know, other issues. You know, my mom doesn't want me,
my dad is remat. I get pregnant at sixteen, have
to have an abortion. I'm still sent away to North Carolina.

Speaker 4 (41:40):
Yeah, okay, so the abortion was by the person. No, okay,
the abortion, mind you, I was sixteen, it was fourteen.
I didn't know, you know, the age he was in
my school all the time. I thought that he was.
It wasn't until afterwards.

Speaker 3 (41:56):
So I felt like crap anyway afterwards, and I was
put in a position listen, you can't stay here with
a baby, you know, And would I do that? No?
Do I understand? Yes, definitely get it, definitely get it wholeheartedly.

(42:20):
Would I do that to any one of my son's No,
just because I know the type of pain it causes.
Causes pain and then out of prison and then out
of jail psych words, not mental offshes. I take mental
medication every day. We talked about that, about that that day,

(42:41):
and it's not a day that goes back that I
don't take it. To take I have to because if
I don't, I hear the voices, I smell the breath,
I remember, I remember those things, you know. But it's
not harshly, if that makes any sense. My medicine helps
Coke the right way, but the right So what was

(43:04):
the process?

Speaker 2 (43:06):
When did you say to yourself, I'm gonna stop getting
because I can't. Okay, So you didn't say she made
you because because you know, when I'm listening to your story,
it sounds similar to my mother's story. Okay, you know
she had me, but she I think she started agatting later.
I mean, she started with big and we and then

(43:29):
next thing you know, it was coke and then by
the eighties it was crack. So I've seen the trajectory
of and I think I made her stop m I
just think there was a lot of situations that I
was dealing with in my community and having to fight
the drug dealers and all types of ships to where
it was like she realized that either they was gonna

(43:50):
kill me or I was going to kill her one
of them. And she she said to me that that's
what she just says. She wanted, So do your sister
pretty much forced you and this.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
So not even let me tell you something. And my
children noticed because I've had my open book to my kids.
When I got claimed, my sons was eight, nine, eight
and two, so I'll have been an open book. I
even interviewed them, have an interview with them that I
had on YouTube, but I took it down because family issues, right,

(44:22):
So I kept each one of my kids for different reasons.
My first son was like, Okay, here's my second chance
at life. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get off drugs,
gonna be I'm gonna do it. Same thing with my
son with my second son and with my third son,
and he was my get out of jail free car.

(44:45):
That judge said, oh you ain't that baby going to prison.
Never forget I'll never forget that ever. And that's where
I had them in Rikers and then he went with
me to Befort Hills.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
Correct.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Wow, how long do the children get to stay? A year?
A year? I was actually on NBC News in two
thousand and thirteen March because nobody knew, well, very few
new that Rankers had a nursing and you can keep
your baby with you for one year, and when you

(45:21):
go up to Befort Hills it's the same thing. So
one more year or one more year, one full year,
and if you have to go upstate year more day
you walk in, it's one year. Wow. So I had
him and then my sister had to come get him
because I got in trouble there and she had to

(45:41):
come get him. And then I caught a robin and
they were offering me six to twelve years, and I
told my sister, I said, well, I'm gonna just take it.
You know, if they give me six flats, I'll take it.
I know the system work. I told my lawyer, give
me a six flat. See, I could go up north,
and I can do I can be high. I can
do what I gotta take here. I don't got no
responsibility in the world, not that I had up anyway,

(46:04):
but just in case I'm going here, I'm comfortable here.
I know how to move up here. I'll be fine.
My sister was there because even through my addiction, my
sister would come to the street to Harlem, come try
to find me. Oh, come with me, just come eat,
or come take a bath, or just sit out there

(46:26):
with me. Like I remember, she went into a crack
spy nauta at gunpoint, like you have to take your
sister with you or we're gonna kill her out of here.
And before we do that, just take her with you.
Because I was a nuisance. I was just that bad.
Everything was about drugs and alcohol. I didn't bathe. I
ate out of garbage hands. I didn't my whole pregnancy
with my son, I didn't even bathe at all. Like

(46:48):
the water you see on the streets on the curbs,
I would drink that water because I was thirsty. I
would eat out of garbage cans. I would sleep at
elevator shafts. So my sister just was like, yo, you
don't want to give yourself a chance. I'm like, if
I go up north, I could get She said, you
keep talking about going up north because you just want
to get high. That's all you want to do. You
need a program. I said, weller if I if you
find me a program, I'm taking my son. She was saying, no,

(47:11):
you're not to see her smoke crack. She said, I'll
take him from you first. You already had him in prison.
Now you want to drive him through a drug program.
And I'm like, that's the only way I'm going. She said,
I bet you it's not that. She fought, and she fought,
and she fought. So the judge took the six years
off the table. She took it off, took it off

(47:31):
the table, and she said, it's a young lady fighting
for you. But I want you to fight for you
and I'll never forget it. And I just was like, bruh,
I don't want to do this. I went back a
call for a second call, and the older ladies in
the back was telling me, if you go to a
program and you graduate and give money, and that's what

(47:53):
made me say him I went to the program October
twenty second, twenty and fifteen. August thirteen, twenty fifteen is
my clean day, and from that day on I never
used drugs again. Toobe, I went to the program, but
I went to the program with a facade. I was

(48:15):
the drug dealer. I didn't have a problem, and I
caught a case. That's why I'm in the program. Right
December seventeen, twenty and fifteen, it was snowing and I
was sitting in the window. I said, God, this kid,
if you really because I never I always knew there

(48:38):
was a God. I just lost my faith because of
everything that happened. There's no way I'm supposed to go
do that as a six year old child. There's no
way my parents are supposed to give up on me.
But we got parents and recovery that come first, that
come first. And at the time, I didn't all yeah yeah, yeah,

(49:00):
yeah yeah. He's like, no, here, stay here, not with that.
You can't come here. No, I sent you away to
get right. And I had people in North Carolina that
as long as I graduated high school, I would have
had a house in a car My Ani told me
that as soon as I got there and I'm like
whatever she was talking to truth. But I'm like, in

(49:22):
my brain, I'm going back to the city first chance
I get. And I'm playing all of this this date,
December seventeen, twenty fifteen. I'm playing it the tape.

Speaker 4 (49:34):
Of your life, of my life, and I'm crying and
I'm screaming and I'm shaking and I'm rocking and I'm
just lapping. You had been sober since August already, because
you gotta stay to get to the money from the program, right, Okay.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
So I'm just like, God, if you just take the taste,
that's it. Just to taste, that's it. That's all I
can drink. Everything else. I'm gonna stop lying, manipulating, being canonving, robbing, stealing,
and I'm going to try to be the best woman
I can be so that I can be the mother

(50:16):
that I know I can. And since that day, since then,
that's the real real, that's the real road day. Since
December seventh, fifth September, December seventeen, twenty fifteen, that's the
day that I decided that I would never pick up
a drunk as long as I do.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
Blow. So, how is the relationship with your kids? Like,
what is that? Because I just I'm asking these questions
because just being a young child watching your mother go
through those things is a lot of trauma. It's a lot.
And just listening to you like you were in you

(51:03):
were in a state to where you just completely gave up,
like you saying you were in the streets and elevator chafts,
eating out the gut like you had completely lost. That's
it's amazing to see you here like this. That's right,
you know what I'm saying. That's that's the amazing just
just knowing you you somehow pulled yourself back out of

(51:27):
that to be this right now. Nothing but that. But
so talk about that situation, which is so.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
Just seventeen months in the program, after the program, before
the program, my sister told me I could never come
back and stay. So December, seventeen months into the program,
I called my sister like, hey, I'm nothing more to
program offered me. I got a job, I got certificates,
nothing more they could give me. They're gonna give me
a refer to the shelter. And she said, shelter you

(51:59):
coming home, mm hmm. And coming home That's all I
needed because I didn't want to go to nobody's shelter
I had. I knew my sister was my person, like
anybody in recovery need that one person, and my sister
was my person and she's still my person, like that's
my person. So she was like, now, what do you

(52:22):
want to do. I said, God, come close to see.
I want to first do mental health. I gotta get
that under I gotta take my meds every day, things
like that. Gotta get that right because I can't go
to them broken because my trauma gunay going on them,
so I can't go to them broken, but I still

(52:43):
wanted them. So I was like, I'm gonna get mental
services and I'm going to get all my kids. And
she was like, girl, what give what kids? The kids
that we got. She was like, you don't even know
them kids. I was say, but I can get to
know them. She said, we're gonna start some Yeah, I said,
I will want to judge just I said, because I
got everything. I got every certificate, completion everything. She was say,

(53:07):
it doesn't work that way, and I was, yes, I was.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Hurt because they're holding your kids, they.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
Have them, and oh y'all, y'all don't want to give
me back my babies. Why But then when I asked
my children, mmm, they told.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
Me wow wa wow.

Speaker 3 (53:31):
My sister was like, I would get the kids, they
would come to my sister house and then it just
so happens. A year later after the program, I got
my very first never had an apartment before my life.
It was a student.

Speaker 4 (53:45):
Because you went from home to the street. Yes, so
where did you live before you go go back? We're
going We're gonna go back through my grandmother.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
No, no, no, no no no.

Speaker 4 (53:57):
When you left the house and just got to the
point where father sent me back with my grandmother that
raised me in North Carolina.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
I stayed until I was eighteen, and you used drugs
there too, and that's when I started. I started with
a thirty nine year old man. There was dating. Yes,
I left at eighteen because the beatings. I'm dark, so
you can't really tell. But I know I got this
not in the back of my head from him. Yes,

(54:28):
I know my ribs are hurting. I know that my
privatest tore from the abuse, the sexual abuse. I knew
that this wasn't it. So when I came back, I
asked my dad can I come home? And he said no,
I thought he was playing it's like, no, you can't

(54:50):
come here. At that time, I didn't know it was
because you're not added you can't come living with me. Wow,
that's real recovery. I get it now though. So from
that point on, from eighteen, I lived with a young
lady named Kimberly that I met at Bronx Regional High School.

(55:12):
Two days I met her, told her I had nowhere
to go. I stayed there with her for about a year.
From nineteen on, I was just either in the street
at my sister's house for a couple of days, rehab,
jail or program. Wow, it's deep.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
It's really deep. Just think about it. But tell me so.

Speaker 3 (55:35):
So when my sons was coming, they would come over
for the weekend, a couple of days, things like that.
I sat all of my kids down and I said,
how would y'all like it if we all live together?

Speaker 4 (55:48):
Because they don't really know each other at this point
either that well they do, they don't, right, So it's
like all foreign, right, not just you and your brothers.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
Yeah, yeah, I got all of us. Hold up, wait
a minute, I gotta share my stuff now.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
No, we don't got no money, right, you don't got
no money.

Speaker 3 (56:07):
They everybody got their own room. So we're gonna be
in this studio with just this one bad and this couch,
and this is how we're gonna live until I'm able.
Or we could go to the show te and they
was like they looking at me while I'm explaining this
to them, like you done lost their mind. We don't
even know you. So when I tell you, I had
to get to know my kids. I had to learn

(56:29):
favorite colors, favorite cireal, who don't eat one? It was
so many times I messed up, like Mom, not the
one that don't eat the cheese. It's this morning. Oh
all right, hold on, let me get it right. So
it was those we had those moments, and I gave
my kids thirty days. Everybody got all right, I'm gonna

(56:49):
give you thirty days to give me a chance to
be you guys.

Speaker 5 (56:51):
Mom.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
You guys could say yes or no. And in the beginning,
my middle son was like, you're my mom. Of course.
My youngest son was like, of course, Mommy, he don't know,
but I still explain to him everything. My oldest one
was m M. You always say that he was the
one that he had gone through a lot. I had

(57:14):
gone through a lot. When I used to like get him,
I would get drunk and fight on my family members
and try to take him and think and he remembered,
so was he what?

Speaker 4 (57:26):
Okay, wait a minute now, So which one of them
was the one that you went through being the most addicted?

Speaker 3 (57:32):
Were or was it four? Three of the first? My
first one get until the day my water broke till
I walked into hallm Hospital.

Speaker 1 (57:40):
And what was he like as a result of that?

Speaker 3 (57:43):
Nothing was wrong with Wow. Nothing is wrong with my
big Wow graduating. He wants to rapper? Now, No, well
that's nothing all that.

Speaker 4 (57:52):
Oh god, I didn't do any of that.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
While I was praying he wants he is a RTIs. Yes,
that's what period. So you know before it was everything
was basketball or Lebron and I gotta be basketball and
I'm gonna make it. And then one day he just
was like, oh I wrote this song, and I was like, okay,
I said, I think you should just write like your story,

(58:17):
tell your story. And that's where he at now. But
nothing is my middle son I got. I got clean
with him when I was seven months.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
So you did use, yes, I used all.

Speaker 3 (58:30):
The way up until I was seven months Arion, which
is my last one, so Naaiah, Malik and Arion. Naaiah
is nineteen, Malik is eighteen, and Arion will be thirteen
in November. Arion only got high for thirteen weeks because
I got locked up and found out that I was pregnant.
But I was I had to go on methadon, so

(58:51):
I had to wing off the methadon in order to
keep him in the nurse. Can't be on methadon and
yes with a baby. So as I'm getting to know
my sons, what's challenging. A lot of tears, a lot
of sleepless nights, a lot of I can't.

Speaker 4 (59:11):
Hate mm hmm from everybody, from everybody, from all three.
So eventually you'd say, okay, yea, I say yes when
they tell me no. When I asked them and they
say no. The thing with them was they couldn't leave
who they were with. My son was, I can't leave Papa.

(59:33):
My middle son was mount Jet, I can't. And then
my youngest was like my uncle trure.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
Oh no, I can't. Maybe you could just come live
with us again.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
That's what.

Speaker 3 (59:46):
With us because he was at the time when I
asked him. He was only four, so he was like,
oh uh so, now don't my baby and they don't
see nothing but their mother, because I yes, I kept
it open. When I got my pictures and all the

(01:00:06):
stuff that I was showing you, I showed them. I
let them know that I used to prostitute, that I
used to I'm talking about a dollar fifty cent whatever
I had to do while I was active in addiction.
I told them because I never wanted no one to
walk up to my sons and say, you know your
mother that they can say if that happens, they can say,

(01:00:28):
she told me that ain't who she is today though,
so that well, we have unbreakable.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
So how what did you? When did you start your
in the nature this year?

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
Actually so before I even thought about it. For four years,
I've been going out to in my community.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Yeah you did, say.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
And clothed homeless mental health. I go on my social
media platform, I put my cash app up and I
say hey, y'all because I got like forty something thousand
follows on TikTok fifteen here on this app. So I
ask and they provide old clothes, some make make meals,

(01:01:16):
They drop it off, send food send, they send cash,
and I have my team and my three sons. Well
now it's my two sons because my youngest son is
in North Carolina with my sister. They move, so it's
my two sons, my aunt, my cousin, and we go
out every month and.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
We So when you out there, you know, I know
that you basically have been pretty much homeless. So there's
a connection. Do you feel scared? Do you feel like
you connected to these people when you're out there doing
this work?

Speaker 3 (01:01:49):
But yes, I feel very much connected. Scared, No, And
my thing is right. It's never to tell no one
what to do with their life, especially while you're you.
You don't want to hear that because I know how
did right. But my thing is if I could provide
a change of clothes and a meal, because those garbage
cans get it mm, those coats get sold, right. I've

(01:02:16):
sold a coat off my back and two degree weather
with a wife beater on us when nothing but sucks
because my boots went frost, all stuff that my sister bought,
so I know' you know how it goes? Soid No,
I just I feel connected, like.

Speaker 4 (01:02:37):
When people who have mental health issues, like I'm the
type of person. I'll pull money out and give money
to people, or go feed them or take them around
here and go I'm wanted them.

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
I'm going the cans.

Speaker 4 (01:02:50):
If you tell me you hungry now, don't got time
to stop, I'm giving you not. I don't give three
dollars and two dollars. I'm a person tripped ten dollars
and I used to and shuffle, but I stop doing
all of that because clearly we not in that type
of time. No Number one and two. People's mental health
be so bad. Sometimes they just freak out and then

(01:03:12):
it's like I'm by myself, I don't know, and I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
Tell you something, Charrelle.

Speaker 4 (01:03:16):
It really makes me feel guilty because sometimes I'm ignoring people,
not ignoring them, but like I'm that person. I'm that person.
I want to give, I want to help, I want
to figure it out. And since I don't do it
as much, and I can't say I don't do it
at all, but I don't do it as much, it
makes me feel guilty like I'm no longer doing my

(01:03:38):
service to you.

Speaker 3 (01:03:39):
To men, well, your service is more than the money
you can give. Pray for them, God, please help them
find clarity and in whatever they're going through, right, because
eventually the money gone. He is those prayers all long,

(01:04:04):
and if he hear it from multiple people, what you
think I happened? So the ten dollars goals quick because
what we may get a bag of chips or juice
and then our drug choice, right because it is, it's
our drug choice. Like this lady told me, Oh, I
would never give my money, I said, and that's the

(01:04:25):
difference between me and I work hard for my man,
and I'm gonna give it toever I want to give
it to. And what they do with it is on them.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
That's their issue.

Speaker 3 (01:04:35):
That's their issue, it's not mine. But don't ever feel guilty.
Don't ever feel guilty because let me tell you this.
Although nobody wakes up and say I want to be
an addict today, we choose to still be stuck. It's
a lot of help.

Speaker 4 (01:04:55):
It was, it's definitely well. It was bad, it was,
it was better, and now we go back.

Speaker 3 (01:05:01):
God because the programs now, since they're not funded enough,
it's not a therapeutic community anymore. It's harm reduction and
method of it's harm reduction. So I went to a
therapeuted community where I was in there seventeen months. They
didn't give us that you had to come to a
clean you couldn't come to the program dirty. So if

(01:05:25):
you had to go to detox, we had then the
program the five.

Speaker 1 (01:05:29):
That's what you're there's a difference between detox, the program.

Speaker 3 (01:05:32):
And then because detoxes don't clean me out. Detoxes don't
watch your detox experiences. So my detox experiences only came
two times from heroin once to anotherast terrible.

Speaker 4 (01:05:47):
That's all that'll kill you, because that's what marcocets and
all is in that was. Xanex is different, but it's
still kind of like the same.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
The recovery.

Speaker 4 (01:05:59):
I didn't take sabbox one because they said that if
I took the sabbox on I could get addicted to yes.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
So I needed to try something else.

Speaker 4 (01:06:07):
So, you know, I went to one of these fancy
white people nothing but white people, very you know, eighty
thousand dollars a year programs, a not a year, a period,
whatever the program time is. It was eighty thousand, and
they gave me medicines every day that took away the symptom,

(01:06:32):
like the withdrawal stuff. But I never and then it
was weaned down, down, down, down down. So they start
me at seven pills, then six, then five, then four, three,
and I probably covered somewhere around three for a while
until get up and just not have the need. Because
I was saying the same thing, just take the taste.

(01:06:53):
That's all I need is to get the taste because
that tastes like.

Speaker 3 (01:06:57):
First of all, what I try to.

Speaker 4 (01:06:58):
Explain to people is that when you take pills, this
this hand the mouth is a part of the like
a like not addiction, but it's a it's a habit. Yes,
it's a habit, just just going like this, you know,
popping them, popping and popping them. So now when you
don't have that to do every few hours, then it's
kind of like anxiousness of.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
What am I going to do?

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
Now? What do I place it with?

Speaker 4 (01:07:25):
I mean, it's so much that goes into the mental psyche.
So you have to get yourself to just not want it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:33):
That's that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
So you so you was talking about the detox that
you went to.

Speaker 3 (01:07:39):
I went to detox when I was pregnant with Arion
because I was a heroin atic then and they wring
me off as they started me off at one hundred
milligrams all the way down to five and then after
five that was it. Or when I did it in Rikers,
when I stuck me. You're talking about using the bathroom yourself.

(01:08:03):
You can't control nothing. You're cold, you're hot, you're crying,
your body hurts. That's what I'm saying. And it's only
because right because they say go to the methadon. I'm
holding mom. I'm holding mom because when I get back
to my door and I gotta spit that in the

(01:08:24):
cup and I'm gonna give that to you, and then
you're gonna buy me what I want from common sec
So you not even And that's why I'm detoxing in
there because I ain't take it what I was supposed
to take because not that I needed it, not that
I needed it because you got over it. Because no,

(01:08:45):
not that I needed the common Sary. Because again she
was doing stuff. So what did you do? Use the car?
You just like to gather up stuff, put up stuff.
Be that person in jail, because I'm that person. I
got this, I got that, I got this, and if
I got to go through the for a couple of days,
then that's fine. I'm gonna fight through that because I know.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
So you was you usually you didn't even realized that
you was detox.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
I did, but I had to play it off because
I didn't want to get nobody in trouble. You got
to play that off because you we call methodon you
always on the line. So how you even going through that?
Because we know it's enough, because we know how many
Miller girls we give. So why would you still be shaked?
So while you're still shaking, why your stomach still hurt?

(01:09:36):
While you still got diarrheal? Why are you still and
we gave you, We gave you that to help.

Speaker 4 (01:09:42):
But I think method like about methadone, I see it
being so like like the like I see people at
the methadone clinic and I'm like, you look fucked up.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
So I'm trying to understand because we're still using the
heron with the methadon. That's what I'm saying, That's what
it is. That's what I'm saying that it's the atticing
mm hmm, thet what does the methodone do? Same thing, Heroin?

Speaker 4 (01:10:13):
It's just no, yes, it's just the thing, just the
li But it obviously had something because you can't taper
it down.

Speaker 3 (01:10:24):
So it started off. See that started off as for
pain method, Yes, that's a pain management medication. Wow. See
our bones be hurt. Yoyo.

Speaker 4 (01:10:39):
I know your everything, the restless legs.

Speaker 3 (01:10:46):
And then your back, your arms.

Speaker 4 (01:10:48):
Yes, I've been through all of that, and I never
took heroine a day in my life, but I know them.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
Percosets, you're the same, exactly the same.

Speaker 4 (01:10:56):
By the stomach cramp, all of that is Harvard with
the agitation.

Speaker 3 (01:11:02):
Please and like you were saying, you gotta do something
with your hands. So when I especially when I put
cigarettes down, because the cigarettes they feel right anyway. Because
I only use the cigarettes when I'm drinking or getting hot,
I had to stop scratching cards because I associated that
with that. It was to a point where I was popping.
My sister would go grocery shopping and buy me two

(01:11:23):
cases of pepsi on Thursday. By Saturday, I only got
two cans left, just popular because I like the not
that I like pepsi. Pepsi is good.

Speaker 2 (01:11:36):
You just have an addictive yeah, And.

Speaker 3 (01:11:39):
That's why I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:11:41):
You can't drink.

Speaker 3 (01:11:41):
I can't be one of those to drink. I can't
drink Friday Saturday. Socially, I can't drink Monday, drinking again Monday,
because Friday. If I drink on Friday Friday, I'm soaking
cracking of That's it. That's it. The same day you're
talking about, I'm taking that shot of Georgie vodka. I'm

(01:12:02):
drinking the Saint ohs. I'm going to where I know
and two months from now I have the same thing.
Or I just don't have no jewelry. I'm ten shades
dogger and I'm one hundred pounds.

Speaker 2 (01:12:14):
Yeah, that's that's real.

Speaker 3 (01:12:16):
That's my name, that's my name, and I had to
come with grips that I'm an alcoholic before anything. I
don't pick up the alcohol, don't pick up the drug,
don't go. That's a simple.

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
That's simple.

Speaker 3 (01:12:33):
It's just that simple. Because I have to because it
gets cold out there. The tricks stopped coming, so now
I have to rob and I have to steal. I
don't rob the tricks, so now they don't even want
to deal with me, or I done got so skinny,
and so it's like, nah, not you, I want her,
So we are now I gotta rob this one steal

(01:12:55):
from this one act like I'm gonna get clean so
my sister could come get me. Act like I'm aa
do what I gotta do, and I'm stealing from home.
When I took my son, I was in the show
to my son, I took his shaane off his neck,
So like I'm telling you, I'm one of those. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:10):
So yeah, So it seems like a lot of this,
all of it pretty much stems from the childhood trauma. Yes,
being raped and abused, molestic.

Speaker 3 (01:13:23):
Right, he never penetrated me. He just made sure that
he released himself on.

Speaker 4 (01:13:30):
So it almost like penetration might have been better, right
like right, Like that is so demori because I've.

Speaker 3 (01:13:36):
Been beat, I've been raised, I've been side of offs.
I would rather go through that than to go through
that as I can I could as a child.

Speaker 2 (01:13:45):
How is do you? Are you in a relationship?

Speaker 3 (01:13:47):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:13:48):
How is that? How is that now? Like? Because I
know it has to be your relationship, your relationships with man,
just didn't see it seemed like it was all of these.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
So this is the first time I'm not being mentally,
emotionally or physically abused right to where I think this
is not normal? Are you faking?

Speaker 1 (01:14:14):
When is it gonna happen.

Speaker 3 (01:14:15):
When we almost got nine years in. Wow, this is
the first person I've been with in my life that
there's no fights. There's no If I say I don't
feel like having sex tonight, I don't have to. If
I say I didn't cook tonight, I don't got to
worry about getting bashed ups out of my head. This

(01:14:37):
is the first time. So sometime he says, like, why
do I always have to start? And I told him
I'm forty one years old.

Speaker 4 (01:14:50):
Sorry, Jesus, that shit scared. Oh it's been my car
hold on one second whole lot thought. That shit almost
made me run hoppy. I'm like, whoa, I was so
into it. You need a movie, you need a mood,
lain a book. The girl, It's a movie. It's a mood.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
Be okay, all right, okay, okay, we had.

Speaker 3 (01:15:15):
The last part.

Speaker 4 (01:15:16):
The next thing, I'm gonna ask you so you could
be ready if somebody sitting there listening, like damn, I
need to get help for myself, Like I'm ready, what
should they do?

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
Okay, go ahead? So he tells me, and this was
actually two days ago. He said, why do I always
have to initiate sex? I said, forty one years old,
and I don't know it. M hm. I don't know
how I had sex when I was sixteen. I know,
so my virginity at fourteen, which was two seconds. At sixteen,
I had sex again and got pregnant at eighteen. At sixteen,

(01:15:49):
I was in a relationship with a thirty nine year
old and it was just on top of me. Took
care of what he had to take care of and
that was it, whether I wanted to or not. And
then I was with a girl and I thought that
I wanted to be with her, and she was an
addict and she passed away from an overdose and then
it was him. So I don't know. I don't know normal.

(01:16:14):
So we travel and we do it and even when
we're travel and it's just like, Okay, I know I
want to, but how do I It's it's weird for me.

Speaker 4 (01:16:25):
The therapists that you need to be having talking to
every week, but they didn't talking about that.

Speaker 3 (01:16:31):
No. We right now we're in because I'm going through
separation anxiety from my sister. She moved to North Carolina,
right and you need that's my person. And she got
my nephew, her first baby, and that's my maybe. So
it's like, and you're in the same state that this
happened to me. So when I go see you, I

(01:16:53):
can't even stay with you long like I want to,
because even though I take my medication, that doesn't stop
the feeling that whoo. When I hear him going to talk,
Bro's like, that's tense up my sister there. So I
gotta be right for my sister. I don't never want
her to worry about me or think she made the

(01:17:15):
wrong decision. You made the right decision for them kids,
like she told me, you got this. I did my
aparty August thirteenth, mainteen years.

Speaker 4 (01:17:27):
Oh so you and your therapists are into the separation anxiety.

Speaker 1 (01:17:32):
And that's exactly right, because my therapists and I were.

Speaker 4 (01:17:36):
In the to you know, letting go then that I mean,
I cried, you know, because the way in which he
was describing me back to myself crazy, it was really.

Speaker 3 (01:17:52):
Like, oh, like I do that, I do do that.

Speaker 4 (01:17:56):
It's like you're killing yourself from thinking thinking that you
could us managed everything, this big old thing and I
and he was like, I can help you identify pieces
that's killing you.

Speaker 3 (01:18:08):
So even before the separation I had to learn to
forgive my father godly got it. It's better to be like, no,
I don't.

Speaker 4 (01:18:17):
Mess him, right, But you had to have relationship than
your grandmother. And she she didn't really know that this was.

Speaker 3 (01:18:25):
Happening, you know, she didn't she didn't know. I didn't tell.
I didn't say nothing. Only person I told again my first.

Speaker 4 (01:18:31):
Sister before, because I know we've been talking for so long.
We could do this for two days. I know you
had mentioned to me that colorism was an issue, right,
And I think for me, in all families, I think
there's a bit of that that you being a darker
skin individual, you felt different.

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
I felt different, and I'm with certain family members, certain
people right in my family. Yeah, messing on, that's the
dog one, you know what I mean. And then it
was because of a different situation. So my sister was
left in the hospital. We have the same mother, same father.

(01:19:13):
She was left in the hospital. I was with my
mother for two years, my first two years. But the drugs,
you know what I mean. I had to heal from that.
So you've been in therapy, it's been there's been one
situation after I'm not that's a where I couldn't even.

Speaker 4 (01:19:31):
Get to my main But you know what you might
want to do today, but no, I know that.

Speaker 3 (01:19:37):
Yeah, you should drive me jump shouting therapist. We'll go
back some of the other shop Like about your sister,
why you always and I'm like, because I can't believe.

Speaker 4 (01:19:47):
She's just up and left and she's like, you crazy.
This girl got a go hall life. That's why I'm
telling you. Maybe if you get the sex part going
the way you need it to, you can your sister alone. Okay,
you got too much on your sister over there. Put
some pressure on that man. Okay, she girl.

Speaker 3 (01:20:12):
We all FaceTime every day all day and I'd.

Speaker 5 (01:20:15):
Be like, it don't matter.

Speaker 3 (01:20:16):
Yeah, like walking down a block out I want to,
but there's nothing like initiating yes, a good time. So
we're gonna balance this now. If I was drinking, I
know how.

Speaker 4 (01:20:29):
To drink, because we're not going all the way through
this thing.

Speaker 1 (01:20:33):
We're saying, but the blood of Jesus, we're gonna be good.

Speaker 3 (01:20:36):
But I'm just saying, that's that's what your reality.

Speaker 1 (01:20:39):
Yeah, I know, of course it sucks, but no, it
doesn't suck.

Speaker 3 (01:20:43):
It's fine.

Speaker 4 (01:20:45):
Now I want you to tell the person who's sitting
out there, who's like, okay, they done talk to all
of this. And I've been, you know, emotional and inspired,
but I don't know what to do right and the
service isn't not the same. I what do you tell
the person they're like, I think I'm ready and I'm

(01:21:08):
just trying to figure out what's the Like a step
your foot has to go out a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:21:14):
Ain't no thing that's where you mess up. Ain't no
thing you gotta know, and you got a decision wholeheartedly.
You gotta meet it, see your mind, your body, your soul.
It may sound cliche that all gotta line up, gotta
line up. You can't say out your mouth I'm ready,
but here you nervous, and then hear you like everything

(01:21:37):
gotta be like we're going. We got this. Because when
I woke up December eighteenth on that floor, in that
same fetal position, twenty fifteen, I woke up like I
got this. Hey, family, I'm an addict, I'm adult fiend,
a crack hand alcoholic, and let me help. I'm here
to get my life together. I was no longer the drugs.

(01:21:58):
I was no longer because I caught a case the
facade was the side was going everything because I meant
everything wholeheartedly, and he knew, and my higher power knew
my higher power with your God, he knew that I was.
So you can't think.

Speaker 4 (01:22:14):
So once you got your mind, body, and soul all alignments,
that you're ready. Because that's the same for me. Anybody
could say whatever, whatever, whatever. When I said I'm done,
I was done, right, what's the next step?

Speaker 3 (01:22:30):
I would say, go to treatment. I would say, state
the treatment until they kick you out right. Don't try
to run like they did me. There's nothing else state
to do for me. It was in seventeen months. Go
to treatment.

Speaker 4 (01:22:43):
Do you think in between there it's like figuring out
who your person is so that you have somebody to
help you your accountability.

Speaker 3 (01:22:50):
I would say, alignment your person treatment and get ready
to face guilt, the demons, the mental health, your triggers.

Speaker 1 (01:23:06):
Because it does not go sober happy, no, oh.

Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
No, man. I had to. I had to deal with
the fact that I left three children in three different places.
I had to deal with the fact that I had
sex with this man for one dollar. I had to
I had to come to the realization that I spent
three almost three thousand dollars with this one person one night,
so with this one drug dinner and when I had
seven dollars, he told me, yeah, but you gotta give

(01:23:37):
me your room first. No problem. Like I had to
deal with those things. You know, the street caught, the
street where you park your car, the time, it's that
little bit of water I had to drink that I
ain't bathe even when I have my ministrew, I put
a t shirt down there or tissue and keep going.
It's still having sex with men. So I had to

(01:24:00):
deal with all of that. That is that was my guilt.
I stole from my kids, I stole from my sister.
I cursed God, I cursed my parents. I vowed I
would never speak to my father. Didn't you tell me?
I can't come there now realizing that baby, if one

(01:24:20):
of my kids came to me today telling me that
at it telling me that they gotta come live with me,
no baby, no baby, because you see them me and
you and then recovery you gotta be and we always
in recovery. I'm in recovery to the day and die
in recovery to the day I died. So when you

(01:24:42):
could face your demons and your guilt and know what
you're about to go do. That's when God the other side. God,
nobody could tell me, yo, you I did that. But
I'm forty one years old, I have no sexually transmitted diseases,
own my business, I've got a great relationship with my children.

(01:25:04):
I'm in a relationship side of my nonprocess. I'm helping
others in my community. I don't just talk about it.
I'm there, like I'm out there. We got the grill,
I told eleventh. Next week, I'm on the eleventh. I'm
outside on treemark. We got the grill out there, food
cases of water, juice, clothes, coats, everything, And this is
the stuff that people gave me, stuff I bought. I

(01:25:24):
got my team.

Speaker 4 (01:25:25):
Out there, and here you are being interviewed right here.
The story Well, honey, Jim, that's all I could say.
It's I just want everybody else to hear it because
I heard it, and I knew that you need to platforms.

Speaker 3 (01:25:43):
Because without him, I'm not here. See when I was
hung off that roof, when I was being raped inside
of ours, even then he carried me through. Not many
people died from those situations. Yes, you know how many
people been net Gordon rules. So you still some thousand
dollars packs.

Speaker 1 (01:26:04):
And you're still here and the kids, and.

Speaker 3 (01:26:07):
Your sister is still there. I want to have.

Speaker 4 (01:26:13):
Your sister on one day with other people who have
helped folks right survive because even.

Speaker 3 (01:26:22):
My father has his person, and his person is his sister.
Oh you have them sisters? Is serious? Yes, because and
that's the thing too. And now I really want to
if I can, I just want to say to my parents,
because you know, when you're younger, it's like I did
you you didn't raise me or you didn't. It's no

(01:26:47):
instructions on it. And today I can say that I
wholeheartedly forgive my dad with everything in me, because he
did nothing wrong when he got married. Did that hurt, yes,
because I always wanted my parents together, but my mother

(01:27:07):
wasn't ready to be a mother all white. And to him,
you know what I mean, it's no instructions. It's no,
you don't know how to do this. And I thank
him for not just ripping us apart and just saying,
y'all gotta come live with me now because I'm married.
Excuse me, because that probably would have broke us. And

(01:27:31):
everything happens for a reason. He did the best he could,
and the best he could was saying, you know what,
let to stay with there. Yet they're more happier, they
laughing it. You know, my grandmother not knowing my trauma,
you know, not knowing what happened to me and my
gun teller. Yeah, I'm gonna tell her out my own mom.

(01:27:52):
She'd be on social media so she see that. One
of my captions yesterday was I met a pedophile when
I was a chap. But she didn't comment or nothing
on it. But I know she canna ask me, and
I'm gonna have that conversation with you know what I mean.
But it's rial And like I said, nobody wakes up
and say today I'm gonna use heroin, I'm gonna become

(01:28:17):
an alcoholic and a crack today. I'm not gonna pay
for the rest of my life while I'm in these streets.
I'm gonna have children to leave them. We don't say
that something happened.

Speaker 4 (01:28:30):
To us, And it's one pill or one thing, and
one time and then two and then five, and you
just don't even really.

Speaker 3 (01:28:38):
Whether how far whether you're hiding from a trauma. Some
somebody gave it to you. It doesn't matter. We didn't wake
up and say that's what we wanted to do.

Speaker 4 (01:28:49):
Well, thank you, charn We appreciate you for your story.
You're coming and to be with us on the TMI show.
I think that people. What I know is that there
are a lot of people who are suffer friend who
don't talk about it, and they don't look like they're suffering.
And that feels like my ministry now because I while
when I look back at photos now, I know that man,

(01:29:11):
I remember that, I know where I was, but most
people had no idea. And so I feel like my
ministry is not so much in the person who is
at rock bottom, right like that, that's that's a part
of it. But I feel like my ministry is in
the people who are just holding on, using and going

(01:29:35):
to work and you know, and trying to mask it,
because that those people cannot be ignored or left or
abandoned just because oh, you're.

Speaker 3 (01:29:48):
Not, you're not, you're not, you're not. You know, you're not.

Speaker 1 (01:29:51):
You know, you're not on the street.

Speaker 4 (01:29:53):
You know, but they could be, and even if not,
there's on the street that goes on inside of you
that you may not be able to articulate, and so
I feel like my that's where my ministry is, right
in that spot where you think you're different or better
than somebody else just because you still have your corporate
job or your.

Speaker 3 (01:30:14):
And that's the thing too. People don't understand you got
to hit a rock bottom. Everybody's rock bottom.

Speaker 1 (01:30:20):
It's different. It looks different, but different people.

Speaker 3 (01:30:23):
It could be someone that lost their job that's their
rock bottom. For me, it can be someone like me,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:30:30):
But together with all of us putting our minds and
hearts together, we can actually make a difference in this area.

Speaker 3 (01:30:37):
Through my social media, I have people that can you help?
I live in Texas. Can you help me? I live
in Ohio. So lady that's in Ohio she got two
years clean December thirty if she and boxed me and said, hey,
remember you put me in that rehab. You called that
rehab for me? Or December thirty if I have two
years clean, I never left the rehab. These are people

(01:31:01):
just saw me on social media.

Speaker 4 (01:31:03):
Thank you, char He's charl Jones. Thank you for joining
the TMO show.

Speaker 2 (01:31:08):
To follow you where you're at.

Speaker 3 (01:31:10):
I'm on Instagram at I made it out zero eight thirteen, fifteen,
and I'm on Facebook as Cherrell Jones and TikTok as well. Thanks.
I'm always answering, So thank you, thank you, appreciate you.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
Much love and respect to Charill Jones man. Just her story,
her honesty, her just sharing all of that with us,
you know, And I think that's what it takes to
save lives. It's transparency like that, because when you hear
someone who is that transparent and you can identify with that,
because a lot of us are shamed to go through

(01:31:46):
these and don't want to see it. And when you
hear someone who's saying, I've been through.

Speaker 1 (01:31:50):
It and it's just bottom by yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:31:54):
You know, and that's that's pretty much with the name
of the Organzaza I used to be, you know, so
she can identify. So just her story on it is painful,
but it's triumphant, like all the way to the bottom.

Speaker 4 (01:32:09):
It's so funny that we're saying the bottom and there
no I think she agrees that she went low as
can go, but there's still another level beneath even that,
and that would probably be the point of no return.
So she literally wasn't even all the way the bottom

(01:32:31):
because she was able to turn it around. So many
people their bottom is that's it. They're done. They never
are able to recover, and either they still live in
that way today or they're not living at all.

Speaker 2 (01:32:44):
And the crazy part is the average person would have
said she's not redeemable.

Speaker 1 (01:32:50):
Yeah, I mean seen the pictures.

Speaker 4 (01:32:53):
If you're listening and you have not seen the pictures,
you should check her out on her Instagram or other
places that she's on social media because the pictures are startling.

Speaker 1 (01:33:05):
They're truly startling.

Speaker 4 (01:33:06):
I mean, she looks exactly like those that we see
on our streets that people get out their way when
they're coming. People don't want to be inside me. She's
talking about not bathing her body.

Speaker 2 (01:33:19):
For months for a whole pregnancy, Like that's crazy to me.
I can't imagine, But that's real. That's some people's reality.
But I give her so much love.

Speaker 3 (01:33:30):
That's depression.

Speaker 2 (01:33:32):
Yeah, it's a culmination of very but you know she
overcame it, and she was here with us, and you
know she lived to tell the story.

Speaker 1 (01:33:41):
She did and she used to be me and I
used to be her.

Speaker 4 (01:33:45):
And there's so many out there that's living through it
or they've they've been able to get to the other side,
so you know, I I would say one thing. I
think people probably feel like I'm like I beat the
dead horse because I'm always kind of interesting docing.

Speaker 1 (01:34:00):
This topic to the show.

Speaker 4 (01:34:02):
But I know surely that there are many people who
need to hear what she had to say.

Speaker 2 (01:34:08):
Me too, But my I don't get it. For this week.
It's very sick. I don't get how the hell Donald
Trump thinks that he's supposed to get or Nobel peace.
I just don't get it. I like, listen to what
I'm saying, Like when you when you look at what
Donald Trump is, there's nothing peaceful about it. He's made
enemies out of our allies. He has bombed ships in

(01:34:30):
the water, just people that they might have had drugs,
might have had completely just bombed them. The man has
changed to the Department of Raw Like if there's nothing
that's peaceful about Donald Donald Trump just himself other day,
he don't think he's making it to heaven like that
enough to like how do you how do you think

(01:34:51):
that you're supposed to get a nobel peace for us?
But you don't even think that you've done enough to
get into heaven, Like it's crazy to me, like wen
are in bizarro land. I feel like we're just in
a place now where it's upside down world.

Speaker 5 (01:35:04):
Like if people are really acting like this is.

Speaker 4 (01:35:06):
We might as well give them that name, you know, the.

Speaker 2 (01:35:12):
Like these are complete Well, people have the most painian ship.
People got twenty six sexual assault cases, all type of shit,
but we gonna give them the Nobel piece. Like in
what world does.

Speaker 5 (01:35:24):
Any of this ship even makes?

Speaker 2 (01:35:26):
Like for real? Like American people have to look because
I know outside this is what I tell people all
the time. Outside of it, people are looking at America
like we gotta be losing our minds. They're really looking
like it's no way that y'all think that what's going
on in there is okay, like this ship, because I
know I would be looking and I'm inside here looking

(01:35:48):
at it, saying to myself, shit, don't make it. The
day Donald Trump receives a Nobel Peace Prize, they might
as well not never give it out again.

Speaker 4 (01:36:00):
Well, and they're saying they're saying the same thing. They're
saying that he doesn't get it, then it has lost
all his value.

Speaker 2 (01:36:07):
But that's what I'm saying, And it might lose it.
I'm just trying to say, if you consider it giving
Donald Trump the Nobel peaceful, I didn't. We already lost.
It's nothing else because that means that there's no criteria
for it. It means if you you yell long enough,
you get enough people to advocate. I'm never in history
nobody has advocated for themselves to get it.

Speaker 3 (01:36:31):
You're saying that, but we don't know.

Speaker 4 (01:36:32):
Because when they said they they The thing is the
reason why I never I'm very careful about saying nobody
about anything, because they have.

Speaker 2 (01:36:44):
When I googled it and I put it in chr GBT,
there has never been any leader that is advocated for
themselves to get the Nobel.

Speaker 5 (01:36:52):
He's what I'm trying talking about.

Speaker 2 (01:36:57):
Based on my studies and my research because I was like,
I don't understand why somebody would think that makes sense.
It's like it's it's supposed to be a humble award.
It's somebody who's doing things because they want peace. You
want to make sure that things is right. You don't
say every day, I want to know real peace. I
want to know real peace. Boy. Get everybody in your cabinet,

(01:37:19):
I tell them, I want to know real peace. Well,
I actually get the know woral peace pride, and when
you don't, you try to just discredit to award like
it doesn't make sense.

Speaker 4 (01:37:27):
Well, listen the person that they gave the Nobel Priest
fives to. There are Muslim advocates and organizations that are
saying care specifically that are saying that this is a
woman who is a Zionist who openly supports Israel. They're
saying that she has she is tied to far right groups. Right,

(01:37:49):
so you know when far right groups ThePort Israel and
they are are self labeled as a Zionist. And I
don't know that she said she's designings. I'm telling you
this is what I read. That those types of individuals
are people who not so much support the genocide, but
they support the veenicide.

Speaker 3 (01:38:11):
That's what the reports say.

Speaker 4 (01:38:12):
So all of it to me doesn't make sense, right,
because you would hope that the award is being given
to somebody who literally is really about peace and if
what they say about this woman, Maria Machado is true,
and I'll tend it and then trying to believe that
because she called Donald Tump to say I got the award,

(01:38:34):
but I'm dedicating it to you, and we know who
he is. If that's true, then even she doesn't deserve it.
So how about that? Like we don't know, I don't know.
I don't know about anything anymore. But what I can
tell you is that everything is upside down. It was
already crooked, now it's just completely turnd upside down.

Speaker 2 (01:38:58):
Just a really bed times and I try to just
deal with joy, deal with my kids and try to,
you know, focus on the things that I want to
do in the world, to be a better person and
try to make the world better. But it's it's really
hard not to see all this shit that's going on,
and I don't know. Like they always say, ignorance is bliss,

(01:39:18):
and I've realized that statement in this time because if
I didn't know the shit I know that now I
would be in complete bliss. I can laugh, joke, have
a good time, smile, but understanding and watching the fall
of America, just watching America just fall, it's really crazy
to me, you know, really crazy, and sometimes you get
levels dieting when you think about it because you know

(01:39:39):
that nobody else. It's like you watch the movies when
the demand know the end of the world is coming
and he running. Everybody in the supermarket just living their life.
They were like five days away from the end of
the world. I don't even get it, and I'm trying
to God to save this shit. I'm trying to do everything,
and ya, I think I'm crazy, you know. So that's
what we are right now. But I'm gonna keep on working,

(01:40:01):
keep on praying, and that's it. All I'm gonna do
is just give it to God.

Speaker 1 (01:40:06):
So we could do all we give it to God
and also we work when there's there.

Speaker 3 (01:40:10):
All right.

Speaker 2 (01:40:11):
Well, with that being said, we come to the end
of another episode of tm I Thank y'all for supporting us.
Is five year anniversary of The Black Effect. Shout out
to the Black Effect, the whole cast over there will
continuing to work with us and shout out to I
will produce it. Janis always here with guests and you
know she's in the background make it move and groove

(01:40:32):
and do what she needs to do. So we will
appreciate you'all for supporting us. Make sure you follow us
on Instagram at tm my Underscore Show and on YouTube
tm I Show PC. I'm not gonna always be right
to meek it the marriage and I can always be wrong,
we will both always and I may always be authentic.

Speaker 3 (01:40:48):
Peece

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