April 16, 2023 • 18 mins
Kalie talks about the superpower of learning to tell the difference between your intuition and your anxiety, as well as how to use it.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, guys, I'm Kaylee Shore, and this is too much
to say. It's all good having questions, yes, so I'm soon.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Said now tear it out you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
So before I say anything, I want to thank you
guys so much for your reaction and support to the
last episode I did. I came out as queer. I'm
very very excited about it. I really just felt so
much love and support, and also a lot of people
were like I.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Thought, everyone news.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
So a little Yeah, it was really amazing, and I'm
just very thankful to have h you know, supporters who
are so kind and open minded. And also a lot
of y'all are gay too, so it's it feels so
good to have that off my chest. I can't even
explain it. I didn't know how good it would feel.
(00:58):
I thought I was just gonna be like nice to
just have it out of the way, but it really
made me super emotional and felt so.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Big, and it just felt good.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So in this week's episode, we're going to talk about
something that's been on my mind a lot, and it
is anxiety and intuition, and what is the difference between
the two. How do you know if that feeling you
have is your anxiety making you stressed out for no reason,
or if it's your intuition telling you to run. And
I have had to work so hard on distinguishing these things.
(01:30):
I feel like I used to always be really good
at it, and I'm a very decisive person. But as
I went through some stuff with people, like this friend
group breakup I had two years ago, I really really
started to question myself. And I went in to see
my new therapist a couple months ago. I started with
her in January, and I sat down and I was like,
(01:52):
I have no grasp on reality whatsoever. I don't know
what is true. I don't think I feel anything valid
and I'm confused. And she was like okay, and then
like two sessions later, she's like, I don't know why
you say that, because you seem so grounded. I'm like,
that's what I think, But then I like second guess
myself and I don't know and like so over the
past four months, we've been working on me distinguishing those
(02:15):
two feelings, and it turns out that more often than not,
it's my intuition. And I don't really like to create
nightmare scenarios where they don't already exist, and anxiety is
like definitely out of your control, and I deal with
a lot of it as well, But figuring this out
has totally changed the game for me. I feel so
much more confident and so much more well equipped to
(02:37):
make decisions about my career and with who I led
in my life, and also like knowing when someone's lying,
So we're gonna talk a lot about that in this episode.
So for starters, the definition of intuition is the ability
to understand instinctively without the need for conscious reasoning, and
then the definition of anxiety is feeling of manic worry, nervousness, unease.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
And dread. So those definitely aren't the same thing at all.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I think that you know, people use like nervous with
anxiety a lot too, and it's anxiety is deeper than that.
Anxiety is kind of all consuming, feels like you're being
eaten alive, and that is a hard feeling to ignore.
I think it's easier to push down your intuition than
(03:28):
it is to push down your anxiety, at least at first.
Your intuition is always going to be like trying to
push through, and anxiety tends to be louder.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
But you can like stifle.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
That anxiety and be like, Okay, I'm gonna just go
calm down. But intuition, even if you're not feeling like shit,
it's still just gonna pop up. Like in my last relationship,
I had this feeling. My last relationship had this feeling
that like it was wrong, and I ignored it and
thankfully everything turned out okay, but it definitely went on
(04:00):
a long longer than it should have. I think if
you're familiar with the concept of intuition and less familiar
with the concept of anxiety, then that's where it can
get really difficult. And remembering that not every feeling means something.
You can have feelings that are real that are there
that you need to acknowledge, but they don't carry weight,
(04:23):
they don't mean some secret thing to the universe, and
it's not like a premonition. They feel different. And if
you pay attention and you write in a journal and
kind of keep track of when you have one of
those feelings, keep track of them, and once you find
out how they turn out, keep track of that too,
(04:45):
and then you'll be able to look back and see
which situations were anxiety and which ones were intuition. I
feel like I discovered something last week. I've had some
really big therapy breakthroughs and it's just been amazing. I'm
doing EMDR, which I'll we do another full episode on,
but a lot of really cool healing techniques that I
hadn't tried before. But I had this breakthrough and I
(05:07):
realized that anxiety for me, And this is different.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
For everybody, but I feel like this is relatable for
a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But anxiety is when you're trying to talk yourself into
something bad, and intuition is when you're trying.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
To talk yourself out of it.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
So it's like you have this feeling and anxiety you're
like ramping up. You're like, you know, have this manic
voice in your head that won't shut up, and it's
just like going on. It's like this is doomed, everything's
going wrong, everybody hates me, blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And then intuition, you have this kind of deep sense.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Of knowing where you're like, Okay, these aren't my real friends,
and this feels like it's going to end badly. But
then that little like surface voice comes in and talks
over intuition and it's like no, no, No, everybody's fine, Like,
don't think the worst of people, Like it's gonna be okay,
Like don't don't worry about that, that's not real, Like
they would never do that to you. That can also
(06:04):
work switched as well, Like I know that that doesn't
apply to every situation, but I feel like it makes
sense for me because like, when I think somebody's lying
to me, that's where this really really comes into play,
and like figuring out the difference between the two.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
It's a really good way to tell if someone's lying.
We'll be right back, and we are back, Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
So I want to talk about anxiety and intuition and
how it relates to detecting lies and protecting yourself from
liars and narcissistic energy and all that stuff. Unfortunately, no
matter how much you don't want to believe it, there
are shitty people on the planet who are gonna lie
and steal from you and cheat, and there's things you
can equip yourself with to be ahead of that. And
(06:59):
it doesn't mean like assuming everyone's going to do that.
It's just like this quote that I think about a lot,
and it's when someone shows you who they are, believe
them and just if you pay attention and you observe,
and you meditate on your feelings, you will figure it out.
Like we all have this innate sense of how to
(07:19):
protect ourselves and that's called intuition, and so every human
being on earth wants to avoid being hurt, and so
we have this little compass inside of us. But it's
just learning when it's the compass talking and when it's
something else.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
But I think that.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
People typically know when other people are lying, and you'll
have that sense of, uh, just kind of calm knowing.
And I, uh, so I was dealing with something recently.
I would like to preface and say that this is
not my boyfriend, because sometimes when I do like abstract
stories or I'm talking about like an ambiguous breakup on Instagram,
(07:57):
people think I broke up with Sam.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Sam did not do this. Sam is a horrible liar.
He doesn't even try.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
But I had this feeling that this person in my
life was lying to me about something really important. And
I caught them before in a couple different lies, but
they were small ones, and I was able to kind
of just be like, hm, okay, And they also wouldn't
confess to them except for one like I brought up
(08:24):
three different issues, and one of them I literally saw
with my own eyes, like them doing the thing that
they said they weren't and they confessed to that one
but also acted like it wasn't a big deal. And
then the other two like literally they tried to tell
me that there.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Was a ghost in the house and that's how that happened.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And I was like okay, okay, cool, and I just
had this feeling and I was like that, I mean, like,
coincidences are stacking up, and paying attention to coincidence is
also really important when it comes to detecting lying.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And so I was just like looking at the evidence
in front of.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Me, and I'm like no, but like, don't like think
badly of them, Like that would be crazy if they
did that, Like, no, they would never do that to you.
But then I have this deep sense of calm knowing
that's like, no, something's wrong. And to quote my friend
Mickey Guiton, that girl is not your friend. And that
is always what she'll say when she's calling somebody out
on being around someone toxic, and she's she has a
(09:21):
fucking spot on intuition with people's vibes and watch dress
and whatnot, and so I have this feeling that like
that person was lying about everything, and I was like,
you know what, whatever, it's small, I just don't feel
like getting into it.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I don't think that this is worth my energy. And
then something really big.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Happens, and I was like, huh, okay, and I didn't
want to blame them right away, because what I would
be accusing them of would be absolutely insane and something
I've never accused anybody of before.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I'd also like to.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
State that it wasn't something like abusive or like anything
like that. It was just like kind of baseline breakage
of the Ten Commandments, like one of the like more
minor ones, but still shitty, because that would be a
whole different like situation. So we're talking about some pretty
low stake stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But still like really shitty.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
And I just knew it. I just knew it, and
I was doing everything I could to talk myself out
of it, and that's what I do. Whereas if it
was anxiety, I'd be like collecting all this evidence and
getting hyped up and blah blah blah blah. And with
this one, I was trying so hard to prove myself wrong.
I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to be wrong
so badly because I didn't want to admit that this
person would do something like that to me or anybody,
(10:39):
and I just couldn't. I couldn't shut it up. And
basically what happened is like something went missing and I
looked for it and I was asking everybody about it.
I was like, have you seen this thing? Have you
seen this thing? And you know it's like, oh no,
I haven't. Sorry, I'll keep an eye out, I'll look
through my stuff whatever, and I just knew and I
(11:06):
was like, damn, I've never accused anybody of anything like
that before, like even when I like, I mean, it
took so much for me to accuse my ex boyfriend
of like cheating, and I only did because I saw
Facebook message. It's like, I don't do stuff without evidence,
and I really cause I just I don't want to
treat anybody in a way that I wouldn't want to
be treated. And I would hope that someone would really
stop and think before they accused me of something horrible.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
And I did that for like a week, and then.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
The missing thing just like reappears in an incredibly obvious
place that I had looked for it so many times,
and it was on top of something that I had
put there the day before, so I would have had
to lift the thing up to put this thing underneath it,
and trust me, I would have noticed it was a
very obvious thing. And I was like, hmm, well that's funny.
(12:02):
And I just was like, I think that there's like
an intuition thing too, where if you even think that
someone's capable of something, that's already a red flag, like
even if they didn't do it, if you are looking
at evidence from like what kind of person you know
them to be, and you think that they could be
capable of doing that, then you already probably should distance
yourself from that person. It's you gotta trust your God
(12:26):
on that you have to. And so I mention it
to the person. And I have never so clearly been
lied to and like just straight up gas lit in
my life, and I think that it's really important to
remember that gaslighting is not just somebody disagreeing with you
or having a different perspective. Gaslighting is when somebody knows
(12:46):
they're lying and they try to tell you're crazy. And
this person literally was like you're going crazy, Like I
don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
All of these like very standard gaslighting phrases.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Whereas if one of somebody, if somebody I knew, came
to me with the same situation and the tables returned,
I would obviously know I didn't do it, but I
would be like, Okay, well, let's try to figure this out,
because like I would be calm, especially if there was
like any sort of compelling evidence as to why I
might have done it. Like I'd be like, Okay, I
see how you came to that conclusion, but like, I
didn't do it, and here's why, versus just like immediately
(13:17):
yelling and telling.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Someone they're crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
So I think that just the defensiveness in and of itself,
and then the fact that this person had historically been
unconcerned when I caught them in a lie. It's uh,
there's people like that out there and it really sucks
and you don't want to believe it, but there are
people that are around you all the time. And I
just had this calm sense of knowing, and when I
(13:41):
went to this person, I wasn't speaking from a place
of manic anxiety, nervousness on edge, defensiveness whatever I was
coming from a place of calm knowing, and I said, hey,
I don't need you to admit to this, and I
don't need you to apologize. I don't need either of
those things. Just need you to not treat me like
(14:01):
I'm stupid and not do it again. And I was
very proud of myself for saying that, because like, really,
when someone lies, it's only going to feel so good
when they admit to it, and like it's easy to
get caught up in the validation of that, But if
you can get good enough at trusting yourself, then you
won't need that from people, because that's a hard thing
(14:23):
because when people lie, they typically lie a lot, and
when they lie a lot, they stack up, and so
if you accuse someone of one lie and they admit
to it, then they kind of have to admit to
all the other ones. And you're just asking that person
to do way more than they are ready to do
on their journey. Like that person is clearly struggling with
(14:43):
some big shit and they're just not there yet and
maybe they never will be in this lifetime. But that's
not your problem. You can just choose to trust yourself
and to know and believe that you're not going to
just make up sh people. And I do think it's
really important to pay attention to, like the reality, the
(15:05):
facts about around you, the coincidences that are stacking up,
because like, really, there's a lot of stuff that can
come off totally.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Wrong and it didn't actually happen at all.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
But you give people enough of the benefit of the doubt,
but at some point there's enough evidence and you're like, Okay,
this is the only option or that.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Could have happened. So that was big for me.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And it was, like, like I said, kind of a
low stake situation, but it felt so good because like,
for the first time in a long time, I trusted myself.
I was like, you know what, I'm not going to
participate in this person gaslighting me, because that's the hard
thing about gas lighting is you end up backing up
the person because they're telling you like they set you up,
and then you do the rest of the work for
(15:49):
the gas lighter because you doubt yourself and so then
you're just telling yourself all these things about how you're
crazy and you're lying and that that's what they started,
but you finished the job.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
So it just felt really good to.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Have that compass know the difference between the two feelings,
and we're gonna do a little recap at the end,
but we'll take a quick break.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Thank you guys.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
So, anxiety and intuition are gonna have two very different voices.
They're gonna sound like totally different people. Anxiety is going
to be like the manic, high pitched girl who took
too much adderall and is super paranoid and just like
flailing about making not a whole lot of sense. And
(16:43):
then intuition is going to sound like this really calm,
like the perfect podcast voice. I love Ashley Flowers on
Crime Junkie, so like it's gonna sound like Ashley Flowers
and it's gonna be like, no, this is what is.
You can trust yourself, you can choose who you trust,
(17:04):
and you can believe what you're seeing with your eyes
and what you're hearing with your ears, and so it's
just gonna feel different like your intuition. Like maybe we'll
raise a red flag if something's really different, like going
really wrong. But I think that might be where anxiety
and intuition hold hands and they're like okay, like if
something's like life or death or just really bad and
(17:24):
you have to deal with it really quickly. I think
anxiety is like all fine intuition, like all listen to you,
but yeah, just remember that human beings have had to
rely on instinct alone to keep us alive for hundreds
of thousands of years. And anxiety is just this kind
of little voice that you can tune out. But intuition
(17:46):
is something that connects you to the universe. It's something
that connects you to your ancestors. It's something that connects
you to yourself and to your surroundings, and it's it's
the definition of being grounded and getting in touch with yourself.
And it sounds all kind of like, you know, woo woo,
but it's real. These are these are instincts that have
been passed down through revolution and kept human beings alive.
(18:11):
You know, we didn't die out and and intuition and
instinct are why. So I hope that this helped. I
hope that you guys take this into your everyday lives
and catch some liars because it is satisfying. I mean,
like you don't want people to be like that, but
it's just the validation that comes from like that is
a it's big, it's big so thank you guys so
(18:35):
much for listening. I'm Kaylie Shure. This is too much
to say, and I'll see you next week. Don't go
has been questions plea.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
So I'll go soon. Now tear it out you
Hey, guys, I'm Kaylee Shore, and this is too much
to say. It's all good having questions, yes, so I'm soon.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Said now tear it out you.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
So before I say anything, I want to thank you
guys so much for your reaction and support to the
last episode I did. I came out as queer. I'm
very very excited about it. I really just felt so
much love and support, and also a lot of people
were like I.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Thought, everyone news.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
So a little Yeah, it was really amazing, and I'm
just very thankful to have h you know, supporters who
are so kind and open minded. And also a lot
of y'all are gay too, so it's it feels so
good to have that off my chest. I can't even
explain it. I didn't know how good it would feel.
(00:58):
I thought I was just gonna be like nice to
just have it out of the way, but it really
made me super emotional and felt so.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Big, and it just felt good.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
So in this week's episode, we're going to talk about
something that's been on my mind a lot, and it
is anxiety and intuition, and what is the difference between
the two. How do you know if that feeling you
have is your anxiety making you stressed out for no reason,
or if it's your intuition telling you to run. And
I have had to work so hard on distinguishing these things.
(01:30):
I feel like I used to always be really good
at it, and I'm a very decisive person. But as
I went through some stuff with people, like this friend
group breakup I had two years ago, I really really
started to question myself. And I went in to see
my new therapist a couple months ago. I started with
her in January, and I sat down and I was like,
(01:52):
I have no grasp on reality whatsoever. I don't know
what is true. I don't think I feel anything valid
and I'm confused. And she was like okay, and then
like two sessions later, she's like, I don't know why
you say that, because you seem so grounded. I'm like,
that's what I think, But then I like second guess
myself and I don't know and like so over the
past four months, we've been working on me distinguishing those
(02:15):
two feelings, and it turns out that more often than not,
it's my intuition. And I don't really like to create
nightmare scenarios where they don't already exist, and anxiety is
like definitely out of your control, and I deal with
a lot of it as well, But figuring this out
has totally changed the game for me. I feel so
much more confident and so much more well equipped to
(02:37):
make decisions about my career and with who I led
in my life, and also like knowing when someone's lying,
So we're gonna talk a lot about that in this episode.
So for starters, the definition of intuition is the ability
to understand instinctively without the need for conscious reasoning, and
then the definition of anxiety is feeling of manic worry, nervousness, unease.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
And dread. So those definitely aren't the same thing at all.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
I think that you know, people use like nervous with
anxiety a lot too, and it's anxiety is deeper than that.
Anxiety is kind of all consuming, feels like you're being
eaten alive, and that is a hard feeling to ignore.
I think it's easier to push down your intuition than
(03:28):
it is to push down your anxiety, at least at first.
Your intuition is always going to be like trying to
push through, and anxiety tends to be louder.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
But you can like stifle.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
That anxiety and be like, Okay, I'm gonna just go
calm down. But intuition, even if you're not feeling like shit,
it's still just gonna pop up. Like in my last relationship,
I had this feeling. My last relationship had this feeling
that like it was wrong, and I ignored it and
thankfully everything turned out okay, but it definitely went on
(04:00):
a long longer than it should have. I think if
you're familiar with the concept of intuition and less familiar
with the concept of anxiety, then that's where it can
get really difficult. And remembering that not every feeling means something.
You can have feelings that are real that are there
that you need to acknowledge, but they don't carry weight,
(04:23):
they don't mean some secret thing to the universe, and
it's not like a premonition. They feel different. And if
you pay attention and you write in a journal and
kind of keep track of when you have one of
those feelings, keep track of them, and once you find
out how they turn out, keep track of that too,
(04:45):
and then you'll be able to look back and see
which situations were anxiety and which ones were intuition. I
feel like I discovered something last week. I've had some
really big therapy breakthroughs and it's just been amazing. I'm
doing EMDR, which I'll we do another full episode on,
but a lot of really cool healing techniques that I
hadn't tried before. But I had this breakthrough and I
(05:07):
realized that anxiety for me, And this is different.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
For everybody, but I feel like this is relatable for
a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
But anxiety is when you're trying to talk yourself into
something bad, and intuition is when you're trying.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
To talk yourself out of it.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
So it's like you have this feeling and anxiety you're
like ramping up. You're like, you know, have this manic
voice in your head that won't shut up, and it's
just like going on. It's like this is doomed, everything's
going wrong, everybody hates me, blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And then intuition, you have this kind of deep sense.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Of knowing where you're like, Okay, these aren't my real friends,
and this feels like it's going to end badly. But
then that little like surface voice comes in and talks
over intuition and it's like no, no, No, everybody's fine, Like,
don't think the worst of people, Like it's gonna be okay,
Like don't don't worry about that, that's not real, Like
they would never do that to you. That can also
(06:04):
work switched as well, Like I know that that doesn't
apply to every situation, but I feel like it makes
sense for me because like, when I think somebody's lying
to me, that's where this really really comes into play,
and like figuring out the difference between the two.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
It's a really good way to tell if someone's lying.
We'll be right back, and we are back, Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
So I want to talk about anxiety and intuition and
how it relates to detecting lies and protecting yourself from
liars and narcissistic energy and all that stuff. Unfortunately, no
matter how much you don't want to believe it, there
are shitty people on the planet who are gonna lie
and steal from you and cheat, and there's things you
can equip yourself with to be ahead of that. And
(06:59):
it doesn't mean like assuming everyone's going to do that.
It's just like this quote that I think about a lot,
and it's when someone shows you who they are, believe
them and just if you pay attention and you observe,
and you meditate on your feelings, you will figure it out.
Like we all have this innate sense of how to
(07:19):
protect ourselves and that's called intuition, and so every human
being on earth wants to avoid being hurt, and so
we have this little compass inside of us. But it's
just learning when it's the compass talking and when it's
something else.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
But I think that.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
People typically know when other people are lying, and you'll
have that sense of, uh, just kind of calm knowing.
And I, uh, so I was dealing with something recently.
I would like to preface and say that this is
not my boyfriend, because sometimes when I do like abstract
stories or I'm talking about like an ambiguous breakup on Instagram,
(07:57):
people think I broke up with Sam.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Sam did not do this. Sam is a horrible liar.
He doesn't even try.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
But I had this feeling that this person in my
life was lying to me about something really important. And
I caught them before in a couple different lies, but
they were small ones, and I was able to kind
of just be like, hm, okay, And they also wouldn't
confess to them except for one like I brought up
(08:24):
three different issues, and one of them I literally saw
with my own eyes, like them doing the thing that
they said they weren't and they confessed to that one
but also acted like it wasn't a big deal. And
then the other two like literally they tried to tell
me that there.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Was a ghost in the house and that's how that happened.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
And I was like okay, okay, cool, and I just
had this feeling and I was like that, I mean, like,
coincidences are stacking up, and paying attention to coincidence is
also really important when it comes to detecting lying.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
And so I was just like looking at the evidence
in front of.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Me, and I'm like no, but like, don't like think
badly of them, Like that would be crazy if they
did that, Like, no, they would never do that to you.
But then I have this deep sense of calm knowing
that's like, no, something's wrong. And to quote my friend
Mickey Guiton, that girl is not your friend. And that
is always what she'll say when she's calling somebody out
on being around someone toxic, and she's she has a
(09:21):
fucking spot on intuition with people's vibes and watch dress
and whatnot, and so I have this feeling that like
that person was lying about everything, and I was like,
you know what, whatever, it's small, I just don't feel
like getting into it.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I don't think that this is worth my energy. And
then something really big.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Happens, and I was like, huh, okay, and I didn't
want to blame them right away, because what I would
be accusing them of would be absolutely insane and something
I've never accused anybody of before.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I'd also like to.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
State that it wasn't something like abusive or like anything
like that. It was just like kind of baseline breakage
of the Ten Commandments, like one of the like more
minor ones, but still shitty, because that would be a
whole different like situation. So we're talking about some pretty
low stake stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But still like really shitty.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
And I just knew it. I just knew it, and
I was doing everything I could to talk myself out
of it, and that's what I do. Whereas if it
was anxiety, I'd be like collecting all this evidence and
getting hyped up and blah blah blah blah. And with
this one, I was trying so hard to prove myself wrong.
I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to be wrong
so badly because I didn't want to admit that this
person would do something like that to me or anybody,
(10:39):
and I just couldn't. I couldn't shut it up. And
basically what happened is like something went missing and I
looked for it and I was asking everybody about it.
I was like, have you seen this thing? Have you
seen this thing? And you know it's like, oh no,
I haven't. Sorry, I'll keep an eye out, I'll look
through my stuff whatever, and I just knew and I
(11:06):
was like, damn, I've never accused anybody of anything like
that before, like even when I like, I mean, it
took so much for me to accuse my ex boyfriend
of like cheating, and I only did because I saw
Facebook message. It's like, I don't do stuff without evidence,
and I really cause I just I don't want to
treat anybody in a way that I wouldn't want to
be treated. And I would hope that someone would really
stop and think before they accused me of something horrible.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
And I did that for like a week, and then.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
The missing thing just like reappears in an incredibly obvious
place that I had looked for it so many times,
and it was on top of something that I had
put there the day before, so I would have had
to lift the thing up to put this thing underneath it,
and trust me, I would have noticed it was a
very obvious thing. And I was like, hmm, well that's funny.
(12:02):
And I just was like, I think that there's like
an intuition thing too, where if you even think that
someone's capable of something, that's already a red flag, like
even if they didn't do it, if you are looking
at evidence from like what kind of person you know
them to be, and you think that they could be
capable of doing that, then you already probably should distance
yourself from that person. It's you gotta trust your God
(12:26):
on that you have to. And so I mention it
to the person. And I have never so clearly been
lied to and like just straight up gas lit in
my life, and I think that it's really important to
remember that gaslighting is not just somebody disagreeing with you
or having a different perspective. Gaslighting is when somebody knows
(12:46):
they're lying and they try to tell you're crazy. And
this person literally was like you're going crazy, Like I
don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
All of these like very standard gaslighting phrases.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Whereas if one of somebody, if somebody I knew, came
to me with the same situation and the tables returned,
I would obviously know I didn't do it, but I
would be like, Okay, well, let's try to figure this out,
because like I would be calm, especially if there was
like any sort of compelling evidence as to why I
might have done it. Like I'd be like, Okay, I
see how you came to that conclusion, but like, I
didn't do it, and here's why, versus just like immediately
(13:17):
yelling and telling.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Someone they're crazy.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
So I think that just the defensiveness in and of itself,
and then the fact that this person had historically been
unconcerned when I caught them in a lie. It's uh,
there's people like that out there and it really sucks
and you don't want to believe it, but there are
people that are around you all the time. And I
just had this calm sense of knowing, and when I
(13:41):
went to this person, I wasn't speaking from a place
of manic anxiety, nervousness on edge, defensiveness whatever I was
coming from a place of calm knowing, and I said, hey,
I don't need you to admit to this, and I
don't need you to apologize. I don't need either of
those things. Just need you to not treat me like
(14:01):
I'm stupid and not do it again. And I was
very proud of myself for saying that, because like, really,
when someone lies, it's only going to feel so good
when they admit to it, and like it's easy to
get caught up in the validation of that, But if
you can get good enough at trusting yourself, then you
won't need that from people, because that's a hard thing
(14:23):
because when people lie, they typically lie a lot, and
when they lie a lot, they stack up, and so
if you accuse someone of one lie and they admit
to it, then they kind of have to admit to
all the other ones. And you're just asking that person
to do way more than they are ready to do
on their journey. Like that person is clearly struggling with
(14:43):
some big shit and they're just not there yet and
maybe they never will be in this lifetime. But that's
not your problem. You can just choose to trust yourself
and to know and believe that you're not going to
just make up sh people. And I do think it's
really important to pay attention to, like the reality, the
(15:05):
facts about around you, the coincidences that are stacking up,
because like, really, there's a lot of stuff that can
come off totally.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Wrong and it didn't actually happen at all.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
But you give people enough of the benefit of the doubt,
but at some point there's enough evidence and you're like, Okay,
this is the only option or that.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Could have happened. So that was big for me.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And it was, like, like I said, kind of a
low stake situation, but it felt so good because like,
for the first time in a long time, I trusted myself.
I was like, you know what, I'm not going to
participate in this person gaslighting me, because that's the hard
thing about gas lighting is you end up backing up
the person because they're telling you like they set you up,
and then you do the rest of the work for
(15:49):
the gas lighter because you doubt yourself and so then
you're just telling yourself all these things about how you're
crazy and you're lying and that that's what they started,
but you finished the job.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
So it just felt really good to.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Have that compass know the difference between the two feelings,
and we're gonna do a little recap at the end,
but we'll take a quick break.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Thank you guys.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
So, anxiety and intuition are gonna have two very different voices.
They're gonna sound like totally different people. Anxiety is going
to be like the manic, high pitched girl who took
too much adderall and is super paranoid and just like
flailing about making not a whole lot of sense. And
(16:43):
then intuition is going to sound like this really calm,
like the perfect podcast voice. I love Ashley Flowers on
Crime Junkie, so like it's gonna sound like Ashley Flowers
and it's gonna be like, no, this is what is.
You can trust yourself, you can choose who you trust,
(17:04):
and you can believe what you're seeing with your eyes
and what you're hearing with your ears, and so it's
just gonna feel different like your intuition. Like maybe we'll
raise a red flag if something's really different, like going
really wrong. But I think that might be where anxiety
and intuition hold hands and they're like okay, like if
something's like life or death or just really bad and
(17:24):
you have to deal with it really quickly. I think
anxiety is like all fine intuition, like all listen to you,
but yeah, just remember that human beings have had to
rely on instinct alone to keep us alive for hundreds
of thousands of years. And anxiety is just this kind
of little voice that you can tune out. But intuition
(17:46):
is something that connects you to the universe. It's something
that connects you to your ancestors. It's something that connects
you to yourself and to your surroundings, and it's it's
the definition of being grounded and getting in touch with yourself.
And it sounds all kind of like, you know, woo woo,
but it's real. These are these are instincts that have
been passed down through revolution and kept human beings alive.
(18:11):
You know, we didn't die out and and intuition and
instinct are why. So I hope that this helped. I
hope that you guys take this into your everyday lives
and catch some liars because it is satisfying. I mean,
like you don't want people to be like that, but
it's just the validation that comes from like that is
a it's big, it's big so thank you guys so
(18:35):
much for listening. I'm Kaylie Shure. This is too much
to say, and I'll see you next week. Don't go
has been questions plea.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
So I'll go soon. Now tear it out you
Host
Kalie Shorr
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