May 29, 2025 • 13 mins
Daniel celebrates his 50th with birthday wishes from friends and family.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Tosh Shaw Tosh Show, Tosh Show Show. Hey guys, it's
Daniel Tosh with an emergency pod Eddie hit the sirens.
Balm waal waal waal. You know what? I don't know
if if if it's an emergency or if this is
(00:24):
just a celebration because it's our birthday. Now, what are
the odds that Carl and I share the same birthday?
One in three hundred and sixty five. Yep, Well we
don't share the same birthday. His was yesterday, His is
the twenty eighth, mine's the twenty nine. Happy birthday, buddy.
Carl is four and I am fifty. What all I
(00:46):
want for my birthday is a big booty ho? How
many times have I said that? And every year? What
do I get my wife? I want a big booty ho.
That's all I want. Oh, it's pret now, you guys
didn't get me anything because your normal. But let's just
go around the room. You can say happy birthday to
me and tell me what you would have gotten me,
and I will react the way I would have reacted. Okay, Eddie,
(01:09):
what were you gonna get me? I would have gotten
you a suit of armor with a shield and a
fucking hated I hate it, and you would you would
get me a suit of armor. Well, I don't want
to thank you very much as the thought that counts.
Good job, John. You what were you gonna get me?
Let's see, I probably would have given you cookies or
(01:29):
something from as that would have been nice. I don't
want anything from ASoP. Fine cookies would have been nice.
A lot of people do that, but they give me
too many. I would have just like one or two cookies.
I'd probably gotten you a dozen that would have just
gotten me sick. Assuming you would have shared that. I
would share them, but I'd still eat too many of
them in a short amount of time. Of course, of
course I'm glad you didn't get it. More on you.
I don't want It's sure it's on me. So it
(01:51):
wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for your gift. Right, Well,
I don't gift all right, Dylan. You know I think
I would have gotten you nothing just because I figured
that's probably what Dylan gets us. Dylan gets a happy
Birthday to me from Dylan. Every year, a handful of
people in my circle try to buy me a gift
that they think, oh, he's gonna love this, and it
(02:14):
always fails. But this year, my manager, Christy Smith, she
bought me the most. She was so excited about it.
She was just had a shitting and grin for weeks before.
She's like, I just know you're gonna love it. And
then she kept she kept calling, Meg, are you home?
I want to drop it off. I'm like, fucking yes,
(02:36):
I can't wait for this. Okay, what does she get me?
Are you ready for this? Guys? She gives me a
personal submarine. Hey, that's amazing. It's a c bob huh
so it's handheld, but it's like the size of this table,
and it can go forty meters deep. You can drag
(02:57):
you in fucking four of your family members to the
day depths where all of your ears blow out and
you die. You can surface like a dolphin with it.
It's just the most ridiculous gift anybody could buy me.
But I love it. I haven't used it. I don't
think i'll regift it, but anyway, that's what she got me.
(03:18):
You're gonna spend all of July in Lake Tahoe. I'm
gonna spend all of July under Lake Tahoe. Looking for
all the Chinese people that were thrown in there after
building the railroads. So let's let's let's see if she
answers her phone, I'll call her and say thank you
to herschel let her say happy birthday to me as
my manager. Hello, he just was giving me a chance
(03:43):
on air to say happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
To me and you all, Happy birthday?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
How pleased were you with your gift that you gave me?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I'm not gonna lie. It's the most excited I've been
to give a gift in a very very long time.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
But we still couldn't tell if you like it or
if you we gonna ge to Eddie. No, I'm not
giving that to Eddie. Will fucking die on that thing
in a minute. Did you like it? It was a
good gift. I mean, it's the most ridiculous gift I've
ever gotten, that's for sure. I was excited. All right,
good work, I'll see you later.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
By Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Hey, I'm doing my birthday pod, letting people wish me
a happy birthday right now.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Happy birthday here officially not a spring chicken anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I'm old as shit. Hey, are you are you gonna
get Are you gonna get me something nice. Of course.
Well you know that Christy didn't include you on her gift.
That's rude.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
She already sent it to you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
The submarine, Yeah, I already got a submarine. Oh my gosh,
you're on your own.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I'm getting you a helicopter with your own pilot.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
The helicopters in the mail.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Okay, Stacy says, she's giving me a helicopter. Hey, Greg Haunt,
it's just giving you a call. It's my birthday episode
on the podcast. I turned fifty years old. I'm just
giving people a chance to say happy birthday to me.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Hey, birthday, Danielle, Happy birth.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
How many pollups can you do? How many pull ups
right now? Probably three? Is that bad? Good? That's good,
that's good. That's about average. Are we live on the podcast?
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, we're live. Do you have any hey? What you
just give me some words of wisdom? Well, what do
you do? You wake up? You go for a walk,
don't you. Yeah, that's it. That's all you gotta do.
That's the key to health. You wake up, you walk
around your neighborhood. Don't do ten thousand steps, that's too many. Well, okay,
we have a little bit around the neighborhood and have
a seat, a couple of coffee. Looks straight ahead. You're good,
(05:53):
all right, talk to you later. Okay, Hey, hi, Hey,
I'm calling you. It's my birthday podcast. I'm letting people
wish me a happy birthday.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Oh for sure, happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Did you get the lovely card we sent you? No?
I didn't get your card. Oh it's in the mail.
Oh nice said that last week.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Man.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Oh, good for you guys. But we don't check our
mail very often because not a lot of people mail
us things.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yes, it should be there today.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Do you have any Are you officially fifty years old? Yeah?
You do? You have any words of wisdom for my fifties?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Oh, words of wisdom for your fifties?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
The best half of your life is behind you.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That seems horribly depressing.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
That's a horrible okay.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, No, fifties are the new thirties. That's awful too.
That's worse. I like the first one. Okay, all right,
I'll see you soon. All right, man, Okay, happy birthday.
Thank you, call my brother. I'm on the podcast. Yeah
you are, Okay, happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
It's all the pressure.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
What's not a lot of pressure. You say for birthday,
by the way, uh uh, what have you known as
my birthday? Honestly? Yes? Or no? You have to only
because yeah, his son has the same birthday as me. Yeah,
so he never never gets me anything though, Were you
gonna get me something? No? But it is.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Funny when you like invite me to like do something
for your birthday and I'm like, they should spend it
with my sons.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
All right, happy birthday to thank you. Yeah. I always
forget that his son's birthday is my same day, and
then he's always like, bro, I'm not going to your
fucking dinner. I'm like, all right, geez, you want to
call his Cara top and see if he answers his phone.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
The Scott Jerk Move, Scott Jerk Move. Hello. Yeah, I
wanted to remind you of that last year I didn't
give you all that ride and stuff and then it
ended up on the show being getting away to that
Frog find Me d Yeah, but let me say, uh
(08:13):
this about the gifts that you gave me last year
from the ribbean stuff. The stickers over the warnings are
in my car and I love that and uh the charger.
Uh I used the double charger thing. Uh, so I
kept the ones that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Well, I've just been multiple times the things that have
ended up on your shows.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
As a gift at the end, Right, what are you
called back?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
My brother called back to be like I got you something.
It's called Pete's Wife. Hello, Hey, you're on my birthday podcast.
I'm just letting people say happy birthday to me.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Oh wow, happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Did you want to did you want to sing or anything?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I got well, no, it stops, stops, it stops saying
I got carre top on the airline by Scott. Hey, bubby, Hey,
you're on my birthday podcast. I'm letting people wish me
happy birthday because I'm fifty years old.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Oh you're fifty. God damn you're young.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Fuck fifty.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I'm sixty.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah. Yeah, but you look I'm already I look fucking great. Right,
you look amazing.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Happy birthday. But yeah, are you on your podcast now?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah? I'm on it right now.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Oh well, I want to be on that fucking thing.
I've been asking you forever.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Done, you're on. I mean, we can rub lotion on me.
I'm not doing any of that. Thanks, thanks were wishing
me a happy birthday, Scott. I'll see you soon, Yes, sir,
you got it.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
You.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I haven't called my mother yet. You're called Margo. Let's
just let's just call her real fast. She never answers anymore.
She's got her phone on silent. Happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
But maybe I wasn't gonna call you. Maybe I was
it's going to send you a text and say happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
You just sent a text. How about a gift? Were
you planning on sending any gifts?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
No? Even though you're fifty.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Is that is that amazing that you have a fifty
year old son.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Well, I have an older daughter.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Right, but that's less that's less impressive. Biblically, nobody cares
about the daughters.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Okay, okay, well that's good.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Happy birthday. Thank you for giving me life and and
I stayed alive for fifty years, so it's like I
did my part. You did your part.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Yeah, yeah, right right, you're a good son.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Okay, Okay, Happy fiftieth birthday, old man.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Thank you, love you, okay, love you bye? Mm hmmm,
I'd rather get you something. Thank you. Uncomfortable?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
How game works?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
How are you in I'm good man. I'm on your podcast.
Yeah you Eddie and I are just talking to you
right now. What Eddie? What's up? I gotta call any two.
But all right, happy birthday. But I'm still sending you
some shit now that I know it's your birthday. Thank you, Ian.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh but I already got you something I know.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
But I but you gave it to me like weeks ago,
so it doesn't really count.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Well, guess what, there's something else here that you don't
know about. So take that all right, Okay, Happy birthday?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You love me, I love you.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Didn't you see my nails?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
She painted her nails and put a d T at
my initials on one of her nails, like it like
she's like a seventh grader.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, like a slutty little high school girl. Then the
other one has a heart.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Well that's very sweet. Alight, right there, I'll talk to
you later, okay bye.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh my god, you know you're older than you thought.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
What old was? Yeah? Yeah, it's very true. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Well you know what I'm gonna be trailing you. I
got two years to go before I hit the big five?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh are you serious? Yes?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I know it's crazy, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Oh, You've always been just that up and coming comic.
To think that you're forty eight now is crazy, dude.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
You know when I really started lying about my age,
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Even kidding, huh.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
I turned twenty because I thought, oh, I'm not young
anymore because I started comedy. I'm sixteen, seventeen eighteen. People
always tell everybody this kid's only eighteen. Then when I
turned twenty, I'm like, oh, fuck, I better start saying
I'm better start lying about my age.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
What else? What are you working? What are you doing?
Speaker 3 (12:40):
I'm going to New York in November for the first
two weeks in November, okay, and I'm doing the show
like with the big band and everything for literally thirteen
days straight.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
What's the venue.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
It's Second City in Brooklyn, all.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, Second City in Brooklyn, first two weeks in November.
You're plugged, Todd. Oh, happy birthday to you. I uh.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I'll see you soon, right, guys, I'm exhausted. So what
what a what a party? Thanks Eddie for being here
for throwing this surprise party for me. You got me
a balloon. Carl didn't even stick out stick around the
whole party. But that's like Carl. Carl, He's not gonna
He's not the guy that like hangs out till the end.
(13:30):
He pops in, he pops out. Well, if if my
next fifty years or anything like my first fifty years,
I'll be okay with it. Well now, what, what a
what a great birthday. I can't wait to do it
again next year. See you next week.
Tosh Shaw Tosh Show, Tosh Show Show. Hey guys, it's
Daniel Tosh with an emergency pod Eddie hit the sirens.
Balm waal waal waal. You know what? I don't know
if if if it's an emergency or if this is
(00:24):
just a celebration because it's our birthday. Now, what are
the odds that Carl and I share the same birthday?
One in three hundred and sixty five. Yep, Well we
don't share the same birthday. His was yesterday, His is
the twenty eighth, mine's the twenty nine. Happy birthday, buddy.
Carl is four and I am fifty. What all I
(00:46):
want for my birthday is a big booty ho? How
many times have I said that? And every year? What
do I get my wife? I want a big booty ho.
That's all I want. Oh, it's pret now, you guys
didn't get me anything because your normal. But let's just
go around the room. You can say happy birthday to
me and tell me what you would have gotten me,
and I will react the way I would have reacted. Okay, Eddie,
(01:09):
what were you gonna get me? I would have gotten
you a suit of armor with a shield and a
fucking hated I hate it, and you would you would
get me a suit of armor. Well, I don't want
to thank you very much as the thought that counts.
Good job, John. You what were you gonna get me?
Let's see, I probably would have given you cookies or
(01:29):
something from as that would have been nice. I don't
want anything from ASoP. Fine cookies would have been nice.
A lot of people do that, but they give me
too many. I would have just like one or two cookies.
I'd probably gotten you a dozen that would have just
gotten me sick. Assuming you would have shared that. I
would share them, but I'd still eat too many of
them in a short amount of time. Of course, of
course I'm glad you didn't get it. More on you.
I don't want It's sure it's on me. So it
(01:51):
wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for your gift. Right, Well,
I don't gift all right, Dylan. You know I think
I would have gotten you nothing just because I figured
that's probably what Dylan gets us. Dylan gets a happy
Birthday to me from Dylan. Every year, a handful of
people in my circle try to buy me a gift
that they think, oh, he's gonna love this, and it
(02:14):
always fails. But this year, my manager, Christy Smith, she
bought me the most. She was so excited about it.
She was just had a shitting and grin for weeks before.
She's like, I just know you're gonna love it. And
then she kept she kept calling, Meg, are you home?
I want to drop it off. I'm like, fucking yes,
(02:36):
I can't wait for this. Okay, what does she get me?
Are you ready for this? Guys? She gives me a
personal submarine. Hey, that's amazing. It's a c bob huh
so it's handheld, but it's like the size of this table,
and it can go forty meters deep. You can drag
(02:57):
you in fucking four of your family members to the
day depths where all of your ears blow out and
you die. You can surface like a dolphin with it.
It's just the most ridiculous gift anybody could buy me.
But I love it. I haven't used it. I don't
think i'll regift it, but anyway, that's what she got me.
(03:18):
You're gonna spend all of July in Lake Tahoe. I'm
gonna spend all of July under Lake Tahoe. Looking for
all the Chinese people that were thrown in there after
building the railroads. So let's let's let's see if she
answers her phone, I'll call her and say thank you
to herschel let her say happy birthday to me as
my manager. Hello, he just was giving me a chance
(03:43):
on air to say happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
To me and you all, Happy birthday?
Speaker 1 (03:49):
How pleased were you with your gift that you gave me?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I'm not gonna lie. It's the most excited I've been
to give a gift in a very very long time.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
But we still couldn't tell if you like it or
if you we gonna ge to Eddie. No, I'm not
giving that to Eddie. Will fucking die on that thing
in a minute. Did you like it? It was a
good gift. I mean, it's the most ridiculous gift I've
ever gotten, that's for sure. I was excited. All right,
good work, I'll see you later.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
By Hello.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Hey, I'm doing my birthday pod, letting people wish me
a happy birthday right now.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Happy birthday here officially not a spring chicken anymore.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I'm old as shit. Hey, are you are you gonna
get Are you gonna get me something nice. Of course.
Well you know that Christy didn't include you on her gift.
That's rude.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
She already sent it to you.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
The submarine, Yeah, I already got a submarine. Oh my gosh,
you're on your own.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
I'm getting you a helicopter with your own pilot.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Huh.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
The helicopters in the mail.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Okay, Stacy says, she's giving me a helicopter. Hey, Greg Haunt,
it's just giving you a call. It's my birthday episode
on the podcast. I turned fifty years old. I'm just
giving people a chance to say happy birthday to me.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Hey, birthday, Danielle, Happy birth.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
How many pollups can you do? How many pull ups
right now? Probably three? Is that bad? Good? That's good,
that's good. That's about average. Are we live on the podcast?
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Yeah, we're live. Do you have any hey? What you
just give me some words of wisdom? Well, what do
you do? You wake up? You go for a walk,
don't you. Yeah, that's it. That's all you gotta do.
That's the key to health. You wake up, you walk
around your neighborhood. Don't do ten thousand steps, that's too many. Well, okay,
we have a little bit around the neighborhood and have
a seat, a couple of coffee. Looks straight ahead. You're good,
(05:53):
all right, talk to you later. Okay, Hey, hi, Hey,
I'm calling you. It's my birthday podcast. I'm letting people
wish me a happy birthday.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Oh for sure, happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Did you get the lovely card we sent you? No?
I didn't get your card. Oh it's in the mail.
Oh nice said that last week.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Man.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Oh, good for you guys. But we don't check our
mail very often because not a lot of people mail
us things.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yes, it should be there today.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Do you have any Are you officially fifty years old? Yeah?
You do? You have any words of wisdom for my fifties?
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Oh, words of wisdom for your fifties?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
The best half of your life is behind you.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
That seems horribly depressing.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
That's a horrible okay.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, No, fifties are the new thirties. That's awful too.
That's worse. I like the first one. Okay, all right,
I'll see you soon. All right, man, Okay, happy birthday.
Thank you, call my brother. I'm on the podcast. Yeah
you are, Okay, happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
It's all the pressure.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
What's not a lot of pressure. You say for birthday,
by the way, uh uh, what have you known as
my birthday? Honestly? Yes? Or no? You have to only
because yeah, his son has the same birthday as me. Yeah,
so he never never gets me anything though, Were you
gonna get me something? No? But it is.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Funny when you like invite me to like do something
for your birthday and I'm like, they should spend it
with my sons.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
All right, happy birthday to thank you. Yeah. I always
forget that his son's birthday is my same day, and
then he's always like, bro, I'm not going to your
fucking dinner. I'm like, all right, geez, you want to
call his Cara top and see if he answers his phone.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
The Scott Jerk Move, Scott Jerk Move. Hello. Yeah, I
wanted to remind you of that last year I didn't
give you all that ride and stuff and then it
ended up on the show being getting away to that
Frog find Me d Yeah, but let me say, uh
(08:13):
this about the gifts that you gave me last year
from the ribbean stuff. The stickers over the warnings are
in my car and I love that and uh the charger.
Uh I used the double charger thing. Uh, so I
kept the ones that I wanted.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Well, I've just been multiple times the things that have
ended up on your shows.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
As a gift at the end, Right, what are you
called back?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
My brother called back to be like I got you something.
It's called Pete's Wife. Hello, Hey, you're on my birthday podcast.
I'm just letting people say happy birthday to me.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
Oh wow, happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Did you want to did you want to sing or anything?
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
I got well, no, it stops, stops, it stops saying
I got carre top on the airline by Scott. Hey, bubby, Hey,
you're on my birthday podcast. I'm letting people wish me
happy birthday because I'm fifty years old.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Oh you're fifty. God damn you're young.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Fuck fifty.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I'm sixty.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Yeah. Yeah, but you look I'm already I look fucking great. Right,
you look amazing.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Happy birthday. But yeah, are you on your podcast now?
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah? I'm on it right now.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Oh well, I want to be on that fucking thing.
I've been asking you forever.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Done, you're on. I mean, we can rub lotion on me.
I'm not doing any of that. Thanks, thanks were wishing
me a happy birthday, Scott. I'll see you soon, Yes, sir,
you got it.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
You.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
I haven't called my mother yet. You're called Margo. Let's
just let's just call her real fast. She never answers anymore.
She's got her phone on silent. Happy birthday.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
But maybe I wasn't gonna call you. Maybe I was
it's going to send you a text and say happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
You just sent a text. How about a gift? Were
you planning on sending any gifts?
Speaker 2 (10:07):
No? Even though you're fifty.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Is that is that amazing that you have a fifty
year old son.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Well, I have an older daughter.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Right, but that's less that's less impressive. Biblically, nobody cares
about the daughters.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Okay, okay, well that's good.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Happy birthday. Thank you for giving me life and and
I stayed alive for fifty years, so it's like I
did my part. You did your part.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
Yeah, yeah, right right, you're a good son.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Okay, Okay, Happy fiftieth birthday, old man.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Thank you, love you, okay, love you bye? Mm hmmm,
I'd rather get you something. Thank you. Uncomfortable?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
How game works?
Speaker 1 (10:52):
How are you in I'm good man. I'm on your podcast.
Yeah you Eddie and I are just talking to you
right now. What Eddie? What's up? I gotta call any two.
But all right, happy birthday. But I'm still sending you
some shit now that I know it's your birthday. Thank you, Ian.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Oh but I already got you something I know.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
But I but you gave it to me like weeks ago,
so it doesn't really count.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Well, guess what, there's something else here that you don't
know about. So take that all right, Okay, Happy birthday?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You love me, I love you.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Didn't you see my nails?
Speaker 1 (11:30):
She painted her nails and put a d T at
my initials on one of her nails, like it like
she's like a seventh grader.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Yeah, like a slutty little high school girl. Then the
other one has a heart.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Well that's very sweet. Alight, right there, I'll talk to
you later, okay bye.
Speaker 3 (11:50):
Oh my god, you know you're older than you thought.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
What old was? Yeah? Yeah, it's very true. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
Well you know what I'm gonna be trailing you. I
got two years to go before I hit the big five?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Oh are you serious? Yes?
Speaker 3 (12:08):
I know it's crazy, isn't it.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Oh, You've always been just that up and coming comic.
To think that you're forty eight now is crazy, dude.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
You know when I really started lying about my age,
I'm not.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Even kidding, huh.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
I turned twenty because I thought, oh, I'm not young
anymore because I started comedy. I'm sixteen, seventeen eighteen. People
always tell everybody this kid's only eighteen. Then when I
turned twenty, I'm like, oh, fuck, I better start saying
I'm better start lying about my age.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
What else? What are you working? What are you doing?
Speaker 3 (12:40):
I'm going to New York in November for the first
two weeks in November, okay, and I'm doing the show
like with the big band and everything for literally thirteen
days straight.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
What's the venue.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
It's Second City in Brooklyn, all.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, Second City in Brooklyn, first two weeks in November.
You're plugged, Todd. Oh, happy birthday to you. I uh.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
You.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
I'll see you soon, right, guys, I'm exhausted. So what
what a what a party? Thanks Eddie for being here
for throwing this surprise party for me. You got me
a balloon. Carl didn't even stick out stick around the
whole party. But that's like Carl. Carl, He's not gonna
He's not the guy that like hangs out till the end.
(13:30):
He pops in, he pops out. Well, if if my
next fifty years or anything like my first fifty years,
I'll be okay with it. Well now, what, what a
what a great birthday. I can't wait to do it
again next year. See you next week.
Host
Daniel Tosh
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