My Oscars Predictions

Daniel nominates himself to fix the Academy Awards and gives a rundown of the 10 films that are up for best picture.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Oscars my favorite night of the year. Coashha Cosh
Shut Show. Hey, good morning and welcome to the Toss Show.
I'm Daniel with me is Eddie? How are you? Eddie?

(00:22):
Being pretty good? Daniel? Do you remember the handshake from
the movie Big Yeah? I mean I remember them doing it.
You don't know it. I'm a girlfriend, I'm a ice
cream cold with vanilla and ooh daddy rocking on the patio.
I said it. I mean I saw your mom's trying
to sucking me this Summay two more times. I don't

(00:42):
remember if that was it or not. It's in that
vault bark. I'm making up words, obviously, but it's somewhere
in there. You ever, you and your kid or any
any of your friends. Do you have any cool handshakes? No? No,
it's cool handshakes, man. I always get impressed with the
elaborate handshakes that I see some of these athletes pull off,

(01:02):
and then they have a different one for each player
and they remember them, right, That's the most impressive part.
So quick, I I gotta come up with a cool
hand I saw some kids at school when I was
dropping my son off do a cool handshake when they
greeted each other. They were like fifth graders, and I
was like, oh, I was telling my son, we need
to come up with a cool handshake, and he was like, yeah,

(01:23):
I don't. He didn't care. We just hug. Yeah, we hug.
What we do? He just balls crying and I just
hug him and I whisper in his ear. I don't
want you to leave either. I remember that one. That's
our cool little routine. Whatever. Hey, this episode, guys, we

(01:47):
are featuring two new segments, like you know, yep, we
got Dan's Hacks and Deer Toss Show. I'm here for it.
What do you want to hear first? Dad? I want
to Dan's hack dance hacks. Okay, hit the music for
dance hacks, all right, now Dan's acts what I'm hoping for?

(02:11):
You know, you ever on the internet loves to have hacks, right,
and sometimes these things go viral really quickly. Oh my goodness,
I didn't. I didn't know you could peel a hard
boiled egg just by squeezing it in your armpit whatever
it is. Yeah, seriously, some dumb stuff. Well, I'm hoping
some of my Dan's hacks catch fire. Now. My first

(02:33):
one is for milkshakes. Okay, who doesn't love a milkshake? Okay?
The problem is a lot of times when you have
your milkshake, sometimes you want to you want to save it,
or you put it in the refrigerator, or you put
it in the freezer. What do you do, Eddie? Would
you put yours in the refrigerator or the freezer? Refrigerator?

(02:57):
And then if you don't have it within thirty minutes,
it gets to watery. The refrigerator isn't cold enough, but
the freezer it gets frozen solid, and then when it
thaws out, the consistency is forever ruined. So here it
is Dan's Hacks for Milkshakes. When I get a milkshake,
this is what I do. I finish it dance tacks.

(03:24):
All right, Now it's time for Dear Toss Show. And
this is a segment where I'm going to allow fans
to write in any potential problem or grievance they have,
much like the storied advice column of Dear Abby. Now
this one, this first one comes to us. It's not

(03:45):
really a fan. I'll be honest, and this person doesn't
want my advice. That's what I like about this segment.
Let's just say they were talking and I was just
listening to them, and I'm not allowed to chime in.
So the guy she's dating, she's claiming is emotionally unavailable.
Here's how I fix that. Uh No, he's not okay.

(04:08):
He dude just doesn't like you that much. That's just
it. It's just so similar. You're telling if Zendeia is sitting
on your couch, I'm guessing you become emotionally too available.
You wouldn't even care what you were planning on watching. Now,
It's just like, tell me about your dreams. Oh, I'd

(04:30):
love to hear about the time you had a dog
that ran away but came back. It's just it's so silly.
I just was listening. I couldn't I couldn't help myself.
I just kept wanting to go, oh yeah, I know,
totally unavailable. I love Zendia. Is she too young for

(04:51):
me to love her? Nope? Good. Speaking of Zendeia, it's
Oscar's time enjoy Casha. The Oscars, my favorite night of
the year. Do you watch the Oscars? Yeah? We do.
Don't care about the movies. That doesn't affect if I

(05:14):
watch or don't watch. It's all about the host for me,
if I'm interested in the host comedically, I will watch
the monologue. Past the monologue. I'm out, you're done, I'm done.
So this year it's Conan O'Brien. Yeah, that'd be funny
if Will Smith slapped him right like holy shit, like

(05:36):
you know, because Conan. Conan is a big guy, he's
like six' four ish and then his his pale irish
skin would just a big red handprint on the side
of his head for the second. Half that's a tough.
Gig now you have to you have to like when
they come to, you be, like, hey AM i gonna
be physically? Assaulted and will you will you do nothing

(05:59):
about it IF i am physically. ASSAULTED a lot of
people have asked, me fans IF i would ever host
any of these award, shows and the answer, IS i don't.
Know i've never been. Asked they never asked. Me i'm
probably not famous enough to get the. Invite but another

(06:21):
thing is a lot of times they're on a network
that's owned by another company and they have a vested
interest in the person that's hosting the. Show there's usually a.
Connection oh IT'S, abc so It's Jimmy, kimmel it's you,
know you get. IT i also would struggle so bad

(06:43):
with the names of all the actors and people in these,
awards and people would be baffled by how LITTLE i
know about people that are clearly extremely. Famous oh, Now
i'm not saying THAT i wouldn't do, it And i'm

(07:03):
not saying THAT i. COULD i. COULDN'T i couldn't pull it.
Off you'd kill you. Know i've never even asked been
asked to present an, award which that's pretty, insulting you,
know not even like on like the shitty award, shows you,
KNOW mtv or. Whatever. Whatever i'm, So i'm so. MAD

(07:23):
i would have some. DEMANDS i would have a list
of demands that would have to be agreed upon BEFORE
i would agree to host this big old train wreck. Them, no,
NO i don't have them, yet just just in. THEORY
i KNOW i would have some. Demands Now i've written

(07:45):
a joker to for uh some. Hosts you, know if
it's different comics that are going around practicing AND uh
and they're friends of, mine well then Then i'm all
about trying to punch up some. Jokes that's that's. Fun
and then when you hear them say your joke or

(08:06):
don't do it the right. Way you're just at home. Going,
well you ruined. It that's not the way you're supposed
to deliver. It the biggest problem with the oscars usually
it's too. Long it's a bunch of, elitists and the movies.
SUCKED i. Got here's a few few. Fixes some new
CATEGORIES i like best crafty and. Catering focus on the

(08:31):
one thing that cast and crews actually give a shit.
About like that to me is. Interesting what kind of
food did you guys? Have let's see some spreads show.
Us is the cruise food drastically different than the stars
THE a list stars of the. Movies are they in
line or do they just get to go. FIRST i
want to, know AND i want to and you, know

(08:53):
just the. Overall forget the catering. PART i want to
see craft. Service we're just the table of cool. Snacks
they always find some fun stuff in. There they got
those candy. Cigarettes, yeh that'd be. Neat here's another an
award THAT i. WANT i want best Background. Extra give
recognition to the guy that stood in the freezing cold

(09:17):
for fifteen hours dressed in something from the goddamn middle
ages for one hundred and fifty bucks or whatever the
daily rate for some non union work. IS i would
love to see that guy get called. Up he's not
allowed to. Speech they shut his micro for as soon
as he gets up, there he's not allowed to. Talk,
okay he's just got to take the trophy and walk.

(09:37):
Away that's. It you're an extra, yea you don't get to.
Talk there shouldn't be award for best. Sound it should
go without saying. That we should all be able to
hear and understand the dialogue in the. Movie you could
also combine some cinematography in there was this movie too
dark AND i couldn't make shit out BECAUSE i didn't

(09:57):
watch it at. Nighttime i'm looking ways to speed it.
Up the other way to speed it, up how about.
This no best actor, actress supporting actor, actress no best
actor that identifies as an. Actress it's just best. Actor
no one cares your gender or the size of the.
Role there's just One best. Actor. BOOM i just knocked

(10:20):
out four or five different categories in one. Awards that's an.
Hour now it's down to five. Minutes the show's too.
Long acceptance speeches go too. Long the accept of the
speeches are supposed to be forty five. Seconds, okay let's
throw up a shot. Clock that's. Fun now you're at
home watching On uh, oh they're not wrapping it. Up but,

(10:41):
Wait instead of some orchestra trying to play him off
with some soft, bullshit we Get pantera coming in. Hot
forty five seconds is. Up, Boom pantera is on. It
good luck trying to wrap up your speech while this
is going. ON i want, to Thank. GOD i want
to show my political views down your throat and get

(11:03):
it all right. Enough you, SEE i. CAN'T i can't
do a podcast while that's going. On by the, way
once the show hits the two hour, mark it's. It it's.
Done any categories that they didn't get, to, uh they
get to go first next. Year show some respect to
the viewers at. Home they have to Work monday. Morning
you guys get to go to some cool after party
and have in and. Out oh my, goodness look we're

(11:25):
eating like fucking poor. People be In memoriam too. Long
also bad music. CHOICE i, say bring the host back.
Out let's do more stand up during. This let's Bring
Jeff ross. Out let him fire off a few shots

(11:45):
at each person that's died As, yeah that's kind of.
Fun that's more. Fun and by the, way if we
need to see your name and your job description under your,
photo sorry you. Don't you don't make. It we'll create
one dead person collage one and. Done all, right they're,
out and The Best picture nominees here we. Go let's

(12:09):
get into. It Best picture. Nominees this is the problem
with the. Show there's. Ten we all. Know there's not
ten good movies that come out every. Year some years
there's barely. Two and by the, WAY i, feel if
you Won Best picture last, year then you are the
defending champ and you're up against whatever one's come out

(12:30):
this year. Too, okay so there can be a run
of A Best picture that's been going strong for four.
YEARS i still Think Talladega knights should be, undefeated AND
i can't Believe i'm about to say, that but this
might be the only time THAT i agree With. Trump

(12:51):
knock it off with all this foreign. Shit let's get
to the. Nominees The brutalist great, title the movie Is.
Brutal two hundred and fifteen minutes of Watching Adrian brody
do heroin pass a complete unknown Oh, Man Timmy shallow

(13:11):
may As Bob. Dylan you, know even When i'm in
the mood to listen To Bob dylan, MUSIC i only
make it about halfway through a song Before i'm, like, ah,
RIGHT i get. It he's a. Genius he also lives
down the street from. Me it's weird how our two
worlds ended up at the same. PLACE i write a

(13:32):
song about. It, yeah he could write a nine minute
song about HOW i had a clip show and ended
up being his. Neighbor how many movies is? That that's?
Two that's just two Movies i've gone through, already Exhausted
dune part. Two all, right here we go speaking To
Timmy shalla anybody calling Him Timmy? Shallow? YET i like?

(13:54):
That this movie was. Unbelievable NOW i can't pronounce any cares.
NAMES i barely followed the, plot but it was stunning to.
Watch and this should win And zendaya was in? It
yeah you kidding? Me Timmy shaley should win an award
just for keeping his boner down the whole? Time how

(14:16):
you going to act staring At zendaiya getting to make
out with, her roll around in the, sand shoving those
weird breathing things up your. NOSE i have a few
questions about doing. That i'm sure nerds would love to
over explain to. Me but they made such a big
deal about riding those, worms like it was such a
skill to be. Had but then when the whole town

(14:42):
would travel, places they would all get on top of,
them and there was no, like oh here it, comes
everybody get ready to dive. On apparently there was like
a bus stop where they could all just climb aboard
safely because there was like whole families on, it and
they didn't do the that he had to, do which was,
LIKE i don't, KNOW i forgot it by this. Point

(15:04):
he like shot a hook into it and you, know
rode it and it was like the craziest thing. Ever
but then there's scenes later where where they're going to the, south,
which by the, WAY i don't understand the geography Of doune,
whatsoever BECAUSE i thought it was like planets and stuff like.
That but then they just go to a village that
appears to just be like forty five minutes via worm.

(15:25):
Away it's not that it wasn't that spaced. OUT i
didn't understand. IT i feel like they should travel farther
away or visit those places more often if it's that
easy to get. To, yeah it's like The Long Island. Express,
yeah well so, anyway but and that's in the future, too. Right, yeah, well,

(15:45):
OKAY i don't understand. Anything, now let's get to the next.
Movie the substance and tons of nudity in this One Margaret.
Qually people saying her boobs aren't, real but her ass was.
Real and guess what her ass carried the? Film it
was a good button that. Movie huh oh. Man, YEAH
i haven't watched the. MOVIE i just looked at. Stills

(16:06):
speaking of a nudity anora fun, MOVIE i guess there's
a completely pointless thirty five minute chunk where they go
searching for a rich rush nute On Coney, island which leads.
Nowhere And i'm not gonna spoil it for you because
there's nothing to. Spoil it's a strong best runner. Up

(16:27):
that's HOW i would describe this movie's best. Chances, conclave
anyboy Watch? Conclave yeah you saw? It oh, Yeah, oh
it's about finding a new. Pope i'll wait for the
reality show that's about to happen. NOW i CAN'T i.
Can't i'm not. Interested good for, them, though for making
a movie that made you forget The Catholic church has

(16:49):
committed the most sexual abuse cases and recorded. History never.
Forget by the, way if this airs And Pope francis
has passed, away it don't make me re edit. This
let's just air it the WAY i had it and
know That i'm, sorry no. Disrespect you spoke of the. Prophecy,

(17:09):
yeah it's like right now doing a joke about a plane,
crash and then, like oh my, goodness there were six
more plane crashes from today's date until this airs Next. Tuesday.
WICKED i hate every. MUSICAL i hate, FANTASY i Hate.

(17:29):
Witches not really a fan Of. Arianna now that being,
SAID i Love. Wicked oh my, GOODNESS i loved. It
didn't want to love. It and thanks to my wife
and son and the tone deaf nightmare that my home has.
BECOME i know every word to every song. POPULAR i

(17:51):
don't even like that. Song that's not the good. Song
that's the one that they could force me to sing
all the. Time no one can sing in my, family
yet everyone one is fearless when it comes to belting out.
Songs Amelia perez didn't see. Her didn't read a racist tweets.
Either do you notice that said, Her i'm so? Progressive?

(18:13):
Right is? That is that all ten of? Them, no there's.
More what's the next? One nickel? Boys nickel? Boys, nope
didn't see. It i'm still? Here is that actually the
title of the? Movie all? RIGHT i don't know if
you're trying to pull one over on. Me didn't see.
It now you might Think i'm racist BECAUSE i missed
the last few, films BUT i would point out THAT
i have two children and there's only so many hours

(18:34):
in the, day and they control the remote a majority
of the. Time so maybe they're. Racist do you ever
think of? That, Okay so for, me it's down To
wicked Or, dune and they both have faults for. Starters
wicked is only the first half of a. STORY i
didn't realize that UNTIL i. Watched and then at the

(18:56):
end they're, like, oh that's only the first. Half the second, Half,
hey this sister that in the, wheelchair she becomes another
witch and then she's the one that the house falls.
On sorry for the spoiler if you've never seen the,
play WHICH i. Haven't and Then, Dune dune is the
second of, three so that's just the middle part of a,
story you know. What my vote is For Poor. Things

(19:18):
AND i know that was nominated last, year BUT i
didn't see it till this, year and that movie is
really fucked. UP i, mean holy, SHIT i was watching
it and there's just tons and tons of crazy. Nudity
and then they're pretending that it's okay because even though
she's a child and naked and sexual, like they're, like,
oh she's only six years, old but it's played by

(19:39):
an older person so they can do the. Joke and
then and they constantly are calling her a red and
they think that's acceptable because it's a. MOVIE i, like
how in comedy you can't do these, things but when
you're doing like an artsy, film it's, fine you, know
to basically be saying completely inappropriate things and child, pornography

(20:04):
but it's not real child pornography because this child that
this man created is in a body that's. Older. Nah.
Whatever and Then carmichael Shows Gerard carmichael was in. There
that part of it was. Confusing didn't really understand, it but,
Whatever so that's my. Vote my vote is For Poor
things from last. Year Casha, carl what was your favorite

(20:33):
movie in twenty twenty? Four he's always partial to the
the Air bud. Franchise you know who's gonna have an?
Opinion there's only one person in my circle that would
really have an opinion on who should Win Best, picture
as my father in. Law let's see if He let's
see if he's got. Time it's a big day for him. Anyway, hey,

(20:56):
hey two. Things first of, all BEFORE i asked the,
question did you get your staples taken out? Today? No
they had the brief schedule for tomorrow. Morning why THE
pa had to go home to a sick or. Something,
yeah that's. Garbage all, Right well, tomorrow make sure you

(21:16):
make sure you get some video of them pulling those
staples out of your. Knee oh, YEAH i can't. Wait
i'll get it for. You full knee. Replacement. Man, hey
question here is. Simple who is going to Win Best
picture at The? Oscars do you know all the? Nominees
it's ten of. Them it's. Here let me read them to.
You The Brutalist, Conclave Wicked Amelia Perez, Nickel, Boys i'm still.

(21:42):
HERE A Complete Unknown Dune part, Two The Substance. Anora,
Okay i've only seen four of those. Ten i'm gonna
say The brutalist? Wins what did you didn't you? Love
didn't you Love? Dune it's not got a. Chance science
fiction never, wins no chance it's a great, Movie no

(22:04):
no chance it. Wins what About? Wicked what About? WICKED i?
MUSICAL i don't. KNOW i think the other one that
could win is a complete Unknown Bob. Dylan, yeah did
you like? IT i didn't see. IT i hate it's,

(22:24):
Good but you think it could? Win see The? BRUTALIST
i Told tammy, this hold. On you haven't even seen
The brutalist, Either, no BUT i want to see. It
so so the two that you think you will win
are ones that you haven't even. Seen it's, true just
going on. Reputation, well what what's what's the ones you've? Seen?

(22:45):
SO i Saw dune AND i saw A, conclave which
is very, good AND i saw Amlia, perez which is.
Different it was well. DONE i guess for what it?
Was what do you, MEAN i? Guess have you seen? It? No,
No i'm not gonna watch that. Ship it's way out.
There what was THE i can't even think the fourth on? Myself,

(23:06):
oh substance you know it would be, fun but that's
not gonna. Win did you like all the nudity in
the h in that? Movie it's. Fantastic. YEAH i can't believe.
You you haven't Seen. Wicked we. HAVE i don't know
why we. Haven't we haven't seen? That all, RIGHT i
need to. See that's awkward to seeing the. Brutalist all, Right,

(23:28):
well we're good luck on. THAT i can't believe sci
fi never. WINS i Thought dune was a. Lock oh
it's it was. Terrific, no Sci fi never. Wins all,
right good, enough Like? Spaces is it all? Right i'll
check it in on you tomorrow after the. REMOVAL i
would appreciate, that all, Right god? Speed well, okay so,

(23:53):
yeah and even seen any of the movies he's, Picking
but he does again have some real takes on On.
Dune all, right let's plug some. Stuff tossshow store dot com,
guys get some. Merch eddie's, Tour my tour on sale,
now tons of. Dates we're gonna be all over The. Midwest,

(24:14):
also this is Funny. Portugal i'm heading To lisbon to
do a. Show now there's a chance that this show gets,
canceled And i'm gonna be honest with, you. Guys whenever
you hear of an act canceling their, show they're always, like,

(24:34):
oh it was health reasons or a family. Emergency but
all of that is a. Lie the real reason the
shows get canceled is because of one, thing and one thing, only, Right,
carl that's poor ticket. Sales here you. Go you just
have to accept. It and guess, what. Guys right, now In,

(24:55):
lisbon there are a lot of good seats, available and
WHEN i say a, LOT i mean all of, them
all of the good. Seats apparently nobody In lisbon has
ever ever heard of me or has any desire to
see me do stand up because we've got no tickets,

(25:16):
Sold so pretty Soon i'm gonna be up against it
And i'm gonna have to make a, decision and they're
gonna be, like, oh it was a scheduling. Conflict we
regret to inform the sixty four people that bought tickets
that the show has been rescheduled to a later, date
and that later date will be fucking. Never, anyway let's

(25:37):
get to the free. Plug we got any new music
for the free plug? Today, yes there we. Go, finally
some of a little beat something giving us a little street.
Cred all, right this free. Plug if you love, subs
then MIGHT i Recommend Little White House subs In Key, West. Florida,

(26:00):
Wow i've never been. There it's located on TWO p
one Eight Whitehead street near The Key West blight And.
Aquarium what's? Blight big? Tower is that something like a,
light but it's called a? Blight? Yeah AM i supposed
to know what the word blight? Means does anybody else

(26:22):
know what the word blight? Means, no it's bite the.
Igh you misspelled? It, okay, okay so NOW i don't
want to add anything. Else you put a fucking word
that doesn't exist and acted LIKE i was. Crazy all?
Right The Key West bite And. Aquarium they're open From

(26:42):
monday Through, saturday eleven to. Five, sundays they're only open
eleven to. Three that makes. Sense that's Like chick Fil,
a only just you, know shortened. Hours they offer, subs,
sandwiches and. Salads why would you put subs and sandwiches
aren't the subs? Are this thing is a sandwich different
than a sub in anyone's. World the shape is what's. Different.

(27:06):
Okay you're telling me that a sub isn't a, SANDWICH i,
say it's called subway. Sandwich all subs are, sandwiches not
all sandwiches. Are by the, way the owner just got.
Married he actually attended my show In vegas to. Celebrate
that's information THAT i got From, eddie who randomly went
to this sub shop while he was down In Key

(27:26):
west performing what'd you Have? Eddie The? Balboa The balboa
now The, balboa according to their, menu is a sixteen dollars.
Sandwich it is that is a AM i? AM i
out a? Touch or it is Just Key? West different.
PRICES i think it's a little higher down. There EVERYTHING
i thought island, Life, yeah because sixteen dollars for sandwich seems.
High but it was. Huge they're. Big oh they're. Big. Yeah,

(27:48):
okay so you're telling me you probably could have gotten
a half for what ten? DOLLARS i, mean and the
half would have been a big enough sandwich for you
because when they gave it to, you they wrapped the
other half to. Go they know you're not going to
finish the whole thing there, well so that you you
ordered a sub and they just already pre boxed half your. Food,
said you know, what, Sir we're gonna do you a solid, here,
honestly cut you off halfway AND i, Ate and though

(28:10):
IF i had, unwrapped it would have felt like a.
Pig so it was just, LIKE i GUESS i eat
it around the. Corner you went and ate it around the.
CORNER i was still. HUNGRY i would have been. Good.
LORD i thought she actually went around the corner and
ate half the other. Half, Okay, now WHEN i get a,
sub which WHICH i don't get to get as much
AS i want to because there's not a good sandwich
place near my home and my wife hates. Sandwiches, okay,

(28:33):
yeah she. Hates she hates all. Sandwiches don't even be.
Started but, uh the, Chips i'm really into that funky.
Fusion what brand is? That voodoo? Chips? YEAH i Like voodoo.
Chips they're, good all. Right you can get a whole
pickle there for two dollars sixty. Cents who doesn't love
walking around an island just nown on a. PICKLE i

(28:55):
bet those pickles In Key, WEST i bet you those
things are a hot. ITEM i love. Pickles, Yeah i've
never once bought those pickle and a bag. Things, man
those things look. Disgusting there's just no way there's that
packs of crunch in. There that thing has got to
be soggy and. MUSHY i don't like. It, well, Well
Little White house has some desserts on. HAND i suggest

(29:17):
heading over to h what is It Mathesons mathesons On
duval for the best cookie on the. Island, ACTUALLY i
have been there. BEFORE i like their. Cookie it's the Cookie.
Dog they're like this, big big. Cookie. Yeah they gave
us a stack of them once they lasted us for
the rest of the. Tour we just break off a
little peace every time you walk. By that's. NICE i

(29:39):
think there was a snicker doodle THAT i, enjoyed chocolate
chip THAT i. Enjoyed it might have been a. Snickerdoodle
might have been a peanut butter one. Too that was pretty. Good,
yeah it doesn't. Matter this isn't About. Mathesons this is
about A Little White House. Subs going over there and
pick yourself up a sub In West. Florida see you next.

(30:02):
Week