May 6, 2025 • 47 mins
Daniel settles in with sleep expert Meredith Broderick for a conversation about attending The Ohio State University, sleep training babies, and if a passion for naps is healthy.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
How many hours of sleep does a healthy adult need?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
At least seven?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Is eleven? Depressing?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Eleven? Something's going on?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
O good, coshha cosh sh show.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hey, welcome to Tosh Show. Great to be here on
this blessed Tuesday. Tuesday. The day is so great they
gave it two days. I like it. How you doing, Eddie,
I'm doing good. How are you doing? You know, just
getting ready for Mother's Day?
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, gearing up.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Your mom's still alive.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
She is good?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Good? That is awkward when he asked somebody they're I know?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I mean, I think you got to know going and
as they are.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
No, no, you canna? How are you gonna know without asking?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I think you're doing it just to be nice.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I always assume people's mothers are alive, and then I'm
just rocked to the core when I fin out there,
dead as shit. Yea deadis ship. Oh I am not
looking forward to the day my mom dies. Okay, that
being said, I prepare for it. What have you prepared?
Which is what I'm gonna say at her funeral.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I'm gonna give us a little taste.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I'm gonna beat box.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Oh, I'll tell you why I'm in to beat boxing
ever since that one in sync song where justin Timberlake
just just went to town. I was like, oh man,
(01:39):
this is the most ridiculous started to a show I've
ever done.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
It's good. I need to check into my mom because
Mother's Days coming up? Okay, and No, normally I just
get my mom a card, but this year I got
our car. Boom. Who's her favorite prodigal son? Two prodigal sons. Yeah,
there's two prodigal sons, both both yeah, both me and
my brother Andrew. Straight. That's so funny. We went across
(02:03):
the country. She's got two prodigal sons. When we do return,
there will be no one there to kill the fatted calf.
These are all things I worry about anyway. No, I
got my mama car. Oh my goodness. It's just the
generosity that oozes out of me.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
What kind of card you get her?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
That's a beat he you know, no real lemon, But
it's way worse than the car she was currently driving. Nobody,
you know. Listen, all she talks about now is there's
just too much technology in it. Ah, let's see that
old hag's up too. I love her, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Yeah, Hey, this is Marco.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I've never once planned for her not answering her phone.
What could she be doing at three or clock on
a Tuesday? That's prime awake time? Wa Hey, uh? Two things? One?
How many cinnamon rolls did you eat?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Three? H seems tuesday seems like an unacceptable number. All right,
where and where's mom? She's here? Do you want her? Yeah,
let me talk to her.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Why don't you answer on your phone?
Speaker 4 (03:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I was just looking at my phone. It was right there,
doesn't say.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What are you talking? You change your number? Oh?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
No, I always have it silence, But yeah, I didn't
have it in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Have you Have you figured out how to get your
phone hooked up to your new car? The bluetooth? Is
that roll?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
No? Dad's doing that? Dad soaking his up. I'm not
doing that. I don't do all that. That's crazy. There's
so much. I mean, I love the new car, I
really do, but there's a lot of things that I
don't even know how to work.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I don't even know how to open.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
The sun roof and the all the buttons on the
top of it.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well, you gotta get in there and tinker. Yeah, what
about id. Does the seat have massaging or no?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Does our seat? What about colder? Ask them if it
blows cold air?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Does it blow cold air on my butt?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
No?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
No, I bet it does?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
You think it does?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah? Yeah, there's like next to the heated seats, there's
like a one that you make it, press it again,
make it turn blue. Oh, by the way, this counts
as my Mother's Day gift. What this phone call the car?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
I was gonna say, we're leaving. We're leaving this weekend
for North Carolina. So I was going to tell you, anyway,
don't send flowers because we won't be here for a
couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
For a three weeks, I think.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Is this your first road trip with the new whip?
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Huh uh huh.
Speaker 6 (05:04):
I really do like driving, and I you know, the
thing is, I know now I should have gotten rid
of the old car, But it scared me, Daniel that
last time when it heat it up and it said
get all.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Right away, I thought it was going to blow up.
It scared me a lot. And and you know, we
never had trouble till January.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
We started having one thing after another, and it was
so strange, so I hope Mike can sell it.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Then, I you know, I wish we.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Had done it last fall when you had suggested. But
you know, I, oh, we should have done it ourselves.
We should have just gone down and traded that in
and gotten the car ourselves. But I don't know, it's
just the timing wasn't right or but but now I'm
I was afraid of that car in the end, you know,
(05:54):
And it was such a good car for fifteen years.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Oh, sorry about that, I'm back.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Oh you didn't hear anything.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I'm teasing. That's just a bit. That is just a bit.
I heard everything he said. It was such a it's
so long as long as I've ever talked to you.
Pete was worried. This wasn't gonna be long enough for
an act one.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
This isn't gonna be on. This isn't night, No Daniel
say that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I'm not. Don't worry about it, all right, Let me go. Then,
I got I got I got work to do, save travels.
Talk to you soon, Love you bye. I tell you what.
I could use a nap now, And today's guest will
watch me enjoy.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Posha.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
My guest today has dedicated her life's work to my
favorite part of the day. She has a medical degree
in counting sheep. Please welcome the sleep Guru herself, Meredith Meredith,
thank you for being here, Thank you for having me.
My first question, Doctor Meredith, do you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Hmm, it's good to hear.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
They still scare me though.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Well. Sure, A lot of things that aren't real if
they appeared would terrify me. You were born in Korea
and adopted by a family from Akron, Ohio. Now I
want you to be honest as an infant when you
found out that you lived in Ohio, where you like,
this is fucking horrible.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
My favorite T shirt of all time is it's a
T shirt of the skyline of Cleveland and it says
Cleveland You've got to be tough, which is true.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
How is that skyline? Is it? I get? Are there
memorable buildings to make up that skyline in Cleveland?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Not really? There's the Key Bank building and there's a
rock rock and Roll Hall of Fame. No, that's right,
that's kind of a highlight.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah. Yeah, I've walked around that thing a few times.
Never stepped foot inside, but I've walked around it as
a first generation immigrant with white parents. What was Ohio
like in the eighties? Were you aware? Did you feel like, Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, I mean I never even knew the term transracial
adoptee until I think I moved to Seattle, But id it?
Does you do have this like George of the Jungle
feel when you're like, you're like, you're like Asian on
the outside, but you feel like a white you think
like a white person.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
What I think like a white person? Mean?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Well, I mean the first time I kind of got
to know a lot of Asians was when I went
for my fellowship at Stanford and there were a lot
of Asians there.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Stanford hit the bell. That's another one. We have so
many Stanford grads on this show. It's pretty remarkable.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I don't know about you.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
That was the first time you met a lot of Asians?
Is here in California?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah? And you know, when you meet other Asians, they
have like a secret handshake and they expect you to
know certain things, and when you don't, they're sort of like,
you know, like it's what's wrong with you? Like why
don't you know? Or people will just start speaking in
Korean to me and I'm like, I does not compute.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
How about now? So now I feel like course I did, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
When I was in college, I took Korean and I
met more Korean people. But still there's this feeling of
like kind of almost like an imposter syndrome, like I
don't belong in this group.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It's kind of an interesting like racial identity to come from.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Like what about what about with your children? Are you
making them more aware of their So my daughter.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
She's in kindergarten. She came home and she said I
told her that she's half Korean. They were talking about
that and I said, you know, you're half Korean and
she said, well, will I be full Korean when I
grow up?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It's a great question. That's a good kid.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
So it's hard to explain, of course it is.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, ah, but it's fun.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, it's interesting to explain.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
You attended the Ohio State University. Did you say it
like that? Yes, like a complete asshole.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
That's how we say it, because there's Ohio University, I know,
and you just we don't want to be associated.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I don't think I don't. Those two of rarely are
confused with each other. But okay, did you have a
good time at that university quite a party school.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
No I did. I had a really good time, really
good time.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Columbus has always been one of my favorite cities to
perform in shows. I love going there. What's your least
favorite Ohio city? Dayton?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Dayton?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Dayton is awful. Have you ever been there?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Just briefly?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
It's no good. That's a garbage city. John John back there.
He's from Ohio, so here he cares about everything. I
don't care. Where are you from in Ohio? I grew
up very east, probably like two hours from Columbus. Okay,
two hours from Columbus. It's not even a place two
hours you can go across the whole state. It takes four,
(10:47):
all right. So you're a sleep expert, I am.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I'm a sleep neurologist.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Somebody has sleep problems. What do they do? What are
their normal complaints or problems? And they come to you?
What's the process?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Basically? I evaluate people and I try to use my
training and try to classify their disorder into medical descriptions. So,
for instance, snoring is a really common reason people will
come see me. Being sleepy during the day is really common.
Insomnia is really common. And then you'll get some unique
(11:18):
things like sleepwalking, acting up my dreams type things, nightmares.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's fun. People start walking around and doing things.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
It's it's interesting. My brother was actually a sleepwalker, and
he would do things like climb out of like he
would punch out his window and like jump off the
roof and like run around and ring the doorbell. And
I have a lot more sympathy for my mom now
that I'm mean that's a crazy person.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
It was.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
It was very severe and it I think it was.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Like, well, I was slept through it until one day.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
But I mean he used to walk. He went to
Ohio University and that explains it. And he would he said,
he would like up in the middle of like campus
and his boxer shorts and be like how did I
get here?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
You know, he's still doing this nonsense.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I think it's better now. I think to some he
like grew out of it to some degree, but he
like can't if he goes to a hotel or like
spends the night he wants to sleep on the first
floor in the basement. So there's like long lasting effects
of it.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Jesus. Yeah, I would travel with handcuffs and just literally
handcuff me to the bed. Every night and then you
can uncuff me in the morning.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Not a bad idea. I mean there are some people
that we have them like zip themselves up in like
a really tight sleeping bag and like put mits on
their hands and you know they can't have anything sharp
in their room.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Do you watch these people sleep? Is that part of
your job? Ever? It is? Oh, it's so weird. Are
are you bored? Or he's got like a motion sense?
Or do they let you know when the highlights are coming?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah? Well, so we record it and then I would
page through it.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You don't go to their house and just just hover. No,
there's no there's no personal visits that it seems like
a fun thing to do. Don't mind her, she's just
gonna watch us tonight.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Well, nowadays two people will record themselves and they'll send
me things like sometimes they'll get a message on social
media like can you just look at this video? And
it's it's interesting sometimes the way people set up cameras
and like people will like do it just of their
eyes And I'll be like, yeah, that's just when as
you're falling asleep, your eyes kind of rove side to
(13:27):
side and it's just normal.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
They thought they were posastrous.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I thought it was something wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
How many of your clients sleep issues are actually linked
to unresolved trauma?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I would say a pretty high percentage, maybe thirty percent.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Okay, so you're basically a therapist.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Are they expected to tell you like stuff that they
went through?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
They don't always tell people. I've had people write me
a letter years later and tell me something that they
were holding in and they finally addressed it.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Right when I see, what's the first thing we have
to do?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
We would just talk for about an hour about your sleep,
about your life, and me really understanding what you're trying
to fix.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Insurance cover this? It does in Seattle? I bet it does?
Does it everywhere?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
It?
Speaker 6 (14:09):
Does?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You take insurance or no, I take out of network insurance.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay? Do people in general sleep better in Seattle because
of all the rain?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I don't think so. I actually think the light dark
cycle because it's so dramatic there probably messes with people.
Plus there's all the tech people and you know they
have issues.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Why did you specialize in sleep? One?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I just thought it was interesting. Two, when you practice
neurology and you see people having strokes and you know,
diagnose them with horrible things, you think, gosh, we've got
to do something more about prevention. And so that really
appealed to me. And back when I chose it as
a profession, people thought it was really strange, like it
wasn't even a real field. I remember being in in
(14:52):
my fellowship and meeting people and saying, is that like
a real specially like I think they thought maybe I
was kind of like a complimentary medicine type.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Of something, like you were ahead of the curve. Because
now everyone cares yes so much. I mean listening off
my father in law, just watching him strap up his
seapat machine at night, and I'm just like, then he's
bragging about his scores in the morning, I'm just like, oh,
I got over an eighty Is that good?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It is good?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Okay? How many hours of sleep does a healthy adult need?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
At least seven between seven and nine. We like to say,
like there's this Goldilock zone, not too little, not too much,
but seven and nine.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Is eleven depressing?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Eleven something's going on?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Okay, that's what I'd like. I like, No, I like,
what do I like? I can't even do the math.
I'm at least an eight hour sleeper.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
But I don't sleep it straight? Is that okay? That
I get up of three or four times in the night,
maybe two or three?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Are they short?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Very short, just to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, okay, that's what we wake up after every sleep cycle.
That's probably what's happening. If you think about it, It's
like how to protect yourself if you're living in the wild, right,
you wake up, you look around, and then you go
back to sleep. You're making sure everything's still okay.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's what I'm protecting my house. Oh man, that's good.
That's also my biggest fear about jail. I don't think
I sleep has effect in my life to where I'm like,
I don't ever want to commit a crime because going
to jail that just seems like such a nightmare to me.
How they sleep in there?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
What do they do in jail?
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I don't know that. First of all, you only get
one pillow, okay, and then there's a threat at all
times somebody doing something to you, like your brother, except
for they're not asleep. Yeah, you know, I don't know.
It just seems crazy if jail was like, oh, you
can have three pillows and you can stay in your
cell all day and sleep all day and night and
we won't bug you. Then I'd be like, okay, jail
(16:50):
sounds okay, but the fact that it's like no rise
and shine, and you got to get why are they
waking people up? I'll be honest with me, I don't
even know that they do, but I feel like I
think they do anyway, Stroke prevention, How is sleep related
to this?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Well, if you have a sleep disorder, you're more at
risk for vascular disease, so heart attack and stroke, because
sleep plays such an important role in restoring our health
and immune function. If we don't sleep well, our blood
pressure goes up and that's a huge risk factor for
vascular disease.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I this is great. All this stuff makes sense. Yeah,
because nothing bothers me more when I talk to those
people that I, oh, it's just three or four hours,
that's all I need. And I'm like, what's the best
position to sleep in?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Depends on what you're thinking about. But interestingly, there was
a study that just came out in January in a
very prestigious journal called Cell. These scientists think that when
we sleep on our sides, we can drain our veins
on our neck. We have these big jugular veins in
our neck and this clearance of waste that happens when
we sleep. We get better drainage when we sleep on
our sides. And depending on how the anatomy of your
(17:58):
venous drainage, you may to do both sides or sleep
on one side.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But I like this answer. I sleep on. I sleep
on my sides, flip back and forth throughout the night,
and then occasionally I'll do a little bit on my back,
and occasionally I'll do a little on my stomach. But
for the most part, I don't have a set position.
Now my wife just sleeps, doesn't move, doesn't remove the covers,
and just sweats all night long. I just find it
(18:23):
disturbing and disgusting. What's the ideal temperature we should be
sleeping at?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
They say sixty five? Does sixty eight degrees?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Oh my god, that's my heaven if you could talk
my wife into sixty five. No, it's just it's like
seventy two, just something awful. What kind of mattress should
we be using?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
There is some personal preference. What's subjective, and for some
people it depends on you know, how much you weigh,
So the more you weigh the firmer mattress you're gonna
need and so, but like a medium firm is generally
like you know what most people are gonna prefer. And
there's some a little bit of science around. It should
be heat dissipating, so you know, it's keeping you your
(19:07):
body cool. You're not getting hot.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Everything she's wrong, right, everything she sleeps wrong. She shouldn't
be this hot. All right, that's a firmished matdress. But
I do I have a little bit of the acid reflex.
So I've put the blocks up on the bed to
for a slight that's fine, right, yep?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Or no, No, that's good, that's good.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
What about those beds the old people have the foldable ones?
Are people actually sleeping those things?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
People do? There are some people that need to elevate more,
either because you know their body weight, it helps them
kind of mechanically breathe easier, or for reflex. You know,
some people just have trouble getting out of bed, and
so it's helpful for them.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
I don't know, well, I don't like it when they
have beds that are split in half, where one half
can do something in the other half and then there's
a seam in the middle. All of a sudden, I
want to roll over and say hi to what's her name?
You know, now I've got a seam.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Well, but you know what with the temperature thing like
you're talking about, they have those cooling mattresses now where
like you know, you can have the cooling mattress on
your head.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I don't care. I don't care about any of that.
That's and you know the worst mattresses of those air
any sleep numbers where they have the air that's garbage.
Is snoring a sign of someone getting real sound sleep
or a sign that they're about to die.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
It's more on the about to die closer to the
about to die. Although you can do that for a
long time and your body sort of makes adaptations and
they're not necessarily great adaptations. Like your your brain starts
stops being as arousable, so you start becoming sleepier and sleepier.
So that's why, you know, think about it. If someone's
(20:44):
snoring really loud and they can sleep through that, you
know that's not natural. You should awaken to something that loud.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
This is great. See, I'm just I'm just thinking my
in laws now because she has to have my mother
in law has to have a sound machine on. A
sound machine as an adult seems unnecessary. Josta has to
have a complete black there can be no light, and
then then he's got the seapap machine on and it's
just chaos in there. It's just the loudest noise. I
(21:12):
have got children in the other room that don't need
these type of distractions.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
What's wrong with them getting older?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Is that's just and just. It seems like they're just
making stuff up. Explain what sleep debt is to people
who might not be aware of the termin thing. It
sounds like a hippie dippy bullshit.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I think of it like sleep appetite. So whenever you
stay awake, your body builds up neurotransmitters and that increases
your need for sleep. So it's just like if you
starve yourself for a while, you'll become hungry and hungrier.
So we need a certain amount of sleep debt sixteen
hours on average to sleep eight hours at night.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
All right, I'll believe that. Can we catch up on
sleep to some degree?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So for instance, if you're very sleep deprived, Let's say
you have a big test or something this week and
you don't get great sleep and then you can make
up for it on the weekend. But if you're chronically
sleep deprived, if you just think about in terms of math,
if you add up those hours, it becomes so many hours.
If you're chronically sleep deprived, you really can't catch up
on it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
My mother, I was not a great student. Now you
were a great student. But my mother's advice to me
always Sometimes I would be overwhelmed about a test and
herd vice as a well, instead of studying really hard,
she'd like, wehill just make sure you have a good
night's sleep. That was always her advice to almost everything.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Wait, it's a good advice.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Just go to bed.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
It's really good advice.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
You think it's good advice. That's great.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well, you have to study, but then there are all
other studies that show you're learning. You keep what you
learned if you sleep after.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Oh, well, I don't know. I think she was just like,
I think you just need some sleep. I failed the test.
She's like, well, were you rested? I felt great? How
long should it take you to fall asleep?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Oh, fifteen minutes, ten to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I can full sleep. I can beat that. You can,
Oh easily?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Are you like my head hits the pillow and naps.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
It's just the second I am allowed to take a nap,
I just go to sleep for how long, Well, I
don't know. I mean to end as long as I'm
allowed to. If I had my dream nap, I would
probably it would probably be close to an hour, but
usually they're much shorter than that. Is that too long?
Is an hour too long?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
No, it's not too long. There are different lengths of
naps that have different benefits. So like the power nap,
you're getting a certain number of minutes of stage two
and that's performance enhancing. And then you know, we say,
like the perfect nap is one sleep cycle midday, and
so there's like different times you would take it to
try to get different distributions of your sleep stages.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I just feel like I'm very European. I just need
a nap after I eat. If I eat lunch, I
want to go down almost immediately. Can napping be a problem.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
The only time I'm really against them is for people
who struggle with chronic insomnia. They're very counterproductive to that.
Or sometimes people fall asleep on the couch and then
they get up to go to bed, and then they
can't sleep because they've you know, just slept for a while.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
My wife every night falls asleep on the couch at
night and I'm like, well, why don't we just get
up and go to bed, and she's like, I don't
want to go. I'm like, she just wants to go
to sleep twice Basically, it seems so unnecessary. But the
ordeal of doing all the stuff before bed is too much.
I guess we have no TVs in any bedroom in
our house, but everybody gets an iPad. No, we don't
(24:38):
have TVs. I remember when they were that was I
was like, no, no, there's like one. There's TV in
the family room. The end, it's it's the phones and
the screens that are the biggest problem with good sleep.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I think. So I think that's a big part of it.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Reading on your phone before bed is it's bad for us.
We shouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
It's bad because it's the light, for one, is sending
a signal that it's daytime.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
When can't we change the light setting.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
It doesn't really filter it out completely at the little
like blut. I forget what it's called, like dark mode
or I forget what it's called.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
There is a dark mode.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
And then also what we're doing. So if you're on
social media or you're scrolling, it's kind of giving you
a little dopamine hits and just kind of it kind
of keeps your day going where we need a little.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
But what if I'm just straight reading from the phone.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I think that's okay. I mean, it's better. The less
light the better.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
When do you stop eating before bed?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So I eat dinner around six o'clock and I don't
eat anything after that.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
You have dessert after dinner?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
No, I mean rarely, unless it's like a special occasion,
or you don't.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Have a sweet tooth, or you just don't want to
have dessert because it's not good for you.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
It will affect my sleep. I will have a reflux.
And also I just if I do, I'm going to
gain weight.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
You're a tiny person. I don't is you're do you die?
It is a huge part of sleeping, right it is.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
It is more than people realize. They're entwined, they're synergistic
with each other.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
So you're saying a minimum of three hours, I would
a minimum of three I'd love to eat, And then well,
what about but naps, It's okay to eat and then
crash if you eat before bed.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
You know, one you can have like reflux and things
like that. But also it moves your circadian rhythm, like
your natural timing of sleep, it moves it a little later. So,
especially if you're someone who has trouble getting up in
the morning or going to bed at the right time,
it can be very counterproductive.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
How come if I don't fall asleep right when I'm tired,
that then oh, there goes that opportunity to fall asleep.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I don't know the answer to that question, but I
do hear people say that a lot that they almost
feel like, you know, it's like a wave coming and
you missed it and you have to wait for the
next one.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Right, But that's not helpful if you can't tell me
why do you sleep well?
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I do?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I sleep extremely well?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Have you always slept well?
Speaker 6 (26:58):
You know?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'm one of those goods sleepers. But in sleep medicine,
you can be too sleepy. So I've definitely been on
that end of the spectrum, like we think of insomnia's
when you don't sleep well. But there can also be
people who are too sleepy and sleep too much, and
so I've definitely been on that end of the spectrum
at times in my life.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Do you are you married?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I'm married?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Okay, your husband, yes? Does he sleep well?
Speaker 6 (27:23):
He does.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Do you guys go to bed at the same time
every night?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
We do, but we're kind of we're both night owls,
and so we we sort of have a negative effect
on each other.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
I don't like this. Okay, you're both night owls. So
what time do you go to bed at night?
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Well?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Now, because I have young kids, I try to go
to bed by like nine thirty ten. But Pry before kids,
it was like midnight.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
What time do you wake up? What times the kids
wake up?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
My kids wake up around six forty five seven, but
I get up at between six and six fifteen.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm just getting your routine. We have the exact same
age kids. You have a two year old and a
six year old. We both have two year olds and
six year olds. Every minute that I'm awake past them
going to bed, I feel is wasted. I'm like, I
should just go down. What am I doing? What We're
going to start a new series? Like this is not
the time, this is this is time to recharge. Yes,
(28:15):
So I try I try to go I go to
bed very early. Did your kids sleep well?
Speaker 6 (28:19):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
I mean I had to sleep train them, which for
some reason is extremely controversial. Whenever I talk about it,
people will I'll get messages saying like you're a child abuser.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Well that who cares think that?
Speaker 2 (28:32):
No, I know, but for some reason it's so controversial.
But I did. I did sleep train my first one
around six months, and the second one I was just
like three months.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Let's go, oh, good for you.
Speaker 6 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I sleep trained the first one and it took in
like two days. Yes, it was like two days of torture,
you know, doing the alarm on my phone. Okay, but
the second one didn't care as much and she just
figured it out pretty quickly. Both of my kids great sleepers.
And I see people that struggle but they don't do
(29:04):
the things necessary to stop it. So I'm like, well,
I don't care anymore. Oh you're tired, Well, yeah, your
kid still sleeps in your bed and she's five? Yes,
what age do you put like pillows and blankets and
stuff in there?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I waited, and you're technically supposed to wait until one
year because sometimes longer.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Some of these pediatricians like, don't put anything in there yet.
I'm like, what, my kid's got a pillow blanket, doesn't
need a sleepsack and just sleeps. They're like, well does
she stay on the pillow? Like for the most part?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
How important are pillows?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I guess I don't know the scientific answer to that,
but I think people find them to be helpful for
next support, and I think they become something we're used
to if we have them.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
So, how many pillows you sleep with?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Two?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I'm a three?
Speaker 3 (29:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Are they all under your head?
Speaker 4 (29:51):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
But I have one like kind of like uh, firmish
foam one that is down and then a really soft
feather one on top it. That way I get the height,
but I still have the softness of the feather one
smart Okay. Then the other one is just for body
and knees and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I'm going to use that in my clinic.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
You can have that one. No, but my wife has
just she's got all kinds of nonsense. She's got these
square pillows that are supposed to help for back support.
None of it I don't pay attention to. There's a
wall between us at this point, and that both physical
and emotional. Do women actually require more sleep than men?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
There are studies that show that women need a little
bit more sleep than men, But it's a little bit
murky because women also have more fragmented sleep and more
sleep disruption, and so there is it's not really clear
whether there's a physiological need for more sleep or women
just sleep a little bit more because it's more disrupted,
or they have more you know, some women have more
(30:53):
responsibilities if they carry the domestic load and then also working,
So we don't really know if it's purely physiology or
it's a combination of things.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Did you work through your pregnancies or no, I did.
Did you like that or no?
Speaker 2 (31:09):
You know, it would have been nice, I think to
have a choice about it. I think I would have
liked to work less than like normal. And it's definitely
like a push pull where I love my work and
I love what I do, but I'm also aware of
the fact that this is such a transient and important
time to pay full attention to my kids.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
So how did you sleep while you were pregnant?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Not as good as I did?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Well? Sure?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
But was it was it miserable at the end?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Or no?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I had a lot of vivid dreams, which is very common.
I had I had horrible reflux, to the point where
like one of my back, like the back part of
one of my teeth like shattered off because my reflux
was so bad. Oh so yeah, And then I had
all the pillows.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Did you the big snake one that wrapsed around you?
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I hated that thing so much. The day that thing
left our bedroom, I was just so excited.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Just because it takes up so much space.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
No, because putting the dumb pillow case on it is maddening.
It's so fucking hard. It's a two person job. I
need somebody to hold while I'm pulling. It's I just
I didn't like that my son doesn't close his eyes
all the way when he sleeps. Besides it just being creepy.
Is there anything I need to do?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Is it all the time?
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Or do you like when I see him sleeping, I'm like,
there's they're just a little bit open, you know, people
that sleep with their eyes a little bit open.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I think, just as long as his eyes aren't dry,
just making sure that that as ice tay, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Okay, I think I think his eyes are lubricating. Where
are you at on giving kids fistful of fistfuls of melatonin?
Not good, not good, good to know I would never
do that. What about melotonin in general?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I like melatonin for very specific reasons, for short periods
of time. I think it can be appropriate, but it
shouldn't be a substitute for trying to form the natural
behaviors and creating patterns and consistency with your kids around bedtime.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Okay? Have you ever used it for your kids?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
A few times?
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Okay, me too? What should we sleep in? And what
do you think of people that sleep naked? It's disgusting
leading the witness? Uh, no comment, naked sleeper? Is that
what I just learned by you saying no comment?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
No, I'm not, I'm not. I think you have to
dress for the climate you live in, you know, I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Controlled climates, well.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Not necessarily like in Seattle, no one has air conditioning.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Right in the song Malibu, nobody has air conditioning?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Really okay? But is there an ice breeze all the time? Okay?
But if it's really hot, you know, obviously you're going
to sleep in something lighter. But you know, they say,
like moisture wicking and like heat dissipating fabrics are good.
But Honestly, those things are like icing on the cake.
It's not an it's you don't have to have those
things to be a good sleeper, but they can. I
think they can enhance the experience, right, just.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Like recently gotten pajamas, like actual pajamas, because my wife's like,
what are you doing? Why don't you have any nice pajamas?
I don't like sleep. My grandpa. I have one pair
of his pajamas because I, as a child, I would
always I can I remember all of his pajamas, and
he had all those, like the pants with the shirt
and the button. I'm like, he is sleeping in a
(34:22):
little suit. Everybody's on the show gets a gift. It's
just stuff I bring from my house. You're not gonna
like any same story, but it. I tell my kids
they have birthday parties. You do birthday parties for your kids.
Do you invite their friends?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Do you allow their friends to bring gifts?
Speaker 6 (34:39):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Okay, I say no gifts. I'm always like, no, no gifts,
no thank you, just whatever. I don't care. And then
everybody still brings gifts. Well guess what, I don't give
them to my kids. I know, I store them. And
then whenever I need a gift for some reason is
(35:00):
like boom, We've got a gift ready to go.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Do your kids?
Speaker 1 (35:03):
No, no, no, okay, no no, I don't tell them.
But by the way they get they get gifts. We
give them gifts for their birthday. But when I'm having
a party for their birthday, but I just want the
kids to come over and play, and I don't want
this big thing of everybody bring gifts. But then sure enough,
everybody brings a gifts. My son's birthday party just happened
in his six year party and Eddie that works here.
(35:27):
Three people got him magic sets. Now, first of all,
I don't want my kid playing magic here. So there's
a magic kit for your daughter. I want her to
do that unopened gift. Magic's too hard. You can put
it on the fourth. There's gona be more gifts. You're
gonna come up with me. Do you know how hard
it is to do magic. It's important to give a
(35:47):
practice my kids. I'd rather learn the piano. I don't
want to spending all his time in his room becoming
a magician. That's just weird. He's got three kits. The
one Eddie got him is he opened it too quickly,
so I couldn't regift it. That's not that one. It
was like three thousand pieces. Anyway, that's not your other daughter,
(36:09):
your two year old. These are nice unused book a
unicorn and you just come home with something and make
them happy.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
There you go give that now, I don't have to
shop for them to bring them.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
You don't write exactly, we'll put that in there here. Now,
your husband did he watched my show? Right?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
He is a super fan.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Okay, look at this. This is an award I received.
It is presented to Dan to celebrate my one millionth
Tosh point zero download. It must have been something on
an app or something stupid. I've never had any awards
hung anywhere. I gotta get rid of the I'm gonna
sign that for him.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Oh yes, I guarantee you he will put it in
his office.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
All they're good. You tell him to take that. Okay. Now,
I like candles, but you can't sleep with him burga right.
Oh so I had a bunch of faint candles. But
my wife was like, we can't have fake candles as
and I was like, okay, so we'll just get rid
of all these candles. We're gonna love these. I think
there's still batteries in these. Yeah, that one's they look
at that. They've got remote controls. You can put those
(37:09):
in your kids froom. Then it's safe. They can just
have candles.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Just was like, I do not need you have to
get another No, no, we'll ship.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
That for you. Don't worrybout that there's remote controls. You
can put them on timers. I don't. I don't even
my kids. Just doesn't matter. We'll get rid of those.
You've you'll love those.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
I feel like I'm on the prices right, more.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Like, let's make a deal where you win the all okay,
but we're gonna have to get those off the deaths.
I'm sorry. It's a lot, I know, but.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
You you know I'll give you a back can handle it.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Have you made contact with your biological parents.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I haven't made contact, but I have attempted to. I
have done what's called like a search through the adoption agency,
but they aren't able to put me in contact. But
I have tried. You know, if I didn't have a
little kids right now and I had the bandwidth, I
sort of wish I would have done it when I
was younger.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Okay, but people have.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Told me that it's possible, and you have to go
to Korea. You have to go to Korea, and you
have to hire like a private detective, or you have
to basically find them. I think that's the real hurdle,
is that, especially in Korea. There' that's why you were
giving up for adoption, is there's so much shame about
(38:25):
being an unwed mother, and even if in my case
from the information I have, it's really forced upon, you know,
by the family, because you not only are you bringing
shame to yourself, you're bringing shamed to the whole family.
And so they sort of don't want to be found.
And so for some of the people I know that
have found their families, they still didn't. It was like
still a secret. It was like, I'll talk to you,
(38:47):
but there's not going to be any like reunions or
anything because I have my family now and they don't.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Know about you now. As an adoptive individual, how do
you feel about the experience overall and what advice would
you offer to someone considering it.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
The main thing that I would tell people is keep
the connection between the biological family. You know, you don't
necessarily have to have a relationship the whole childhood, but
maintain that identity and the connection so that if the
child has questions and wants to seek that out someday,
they have a right to go ask those questions.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
I mean health benefits alone.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, health benefits for sure.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
I've looked into adopting before, I think in California. Now,
in California, all adoptions have to be open adoptions. It
can't be a sealed off private like that they used
to be. Is that true or no?
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I don't know that for sure.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I think that's true. I don't know that was what
I was told. Now that, which I think is a
good thing. Is what you're saying is what we should do.
Can you have a nightmare and still have good sleep?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
You can? A lot of it has to do with
the way the person subjectively interprets that experience. Usually when
people come to see me for that, they're not having
a good sleep. I mean, that's why they're there to
see me.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Is lucid dreaming a real thing?
Speaker 4 (40:02):
It is?
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Can you do it?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I've experienced it, but I'm not one of the rare
people that can do it frequently, who experiences it frequently.
But I've never really trained. I think you have to
train yourself to some degree.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
How do we how do we know that people are
actually good at it and or doing what they say?
We just have to take people's word. There's no way
to track it, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
But sometimes you you know, like there's a famous researcher
that did these experiments where he would be following people's
eye movements and they would wake up and say they
were playing like a ping pong match. And you know,
there can be little things like that.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Okay, well that's the one thing that goes back and forth.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
True, but no, you do have to take their word
for it.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah. I mean, I've tried to control a dream or too,
but at some point, I'm like, I'm just wide awake.
At this point, I'm not this is no longer a dream.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Well, you're supposed to ask yourself during the day, am
I dreaming? Am I dreaming? And then by saying that
and practicing it, then that should happen to you when
you're dreaming, and then supposedly you'll realize that you're dreaming.
That's supposedly the first step. And then once you have
that awareness that you're dreaming, then you can try to
control the dream.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
All right, I'm going to start working on it. Am
I dreaming? Am I dreaming? I'm going to do that
all day long. Do dreams mean anything?
Speaker 2 (41:24):
I think it depends who you ask, But they're basically
going to contain content from the day, important things that
happen during the day. And then basically what's happening is
the brain is scanning memories and trying to make associations
between past memories, and so what we remember about them
is what we call dreams. I mean, we all dream
every night and we're not consciously aware of it or
(41:45):
don't remember it. But I think there is a whole
community in neuroscience these are like legitimate researchers that believe
there's so much about our unconscious awareness and our intuition
that does have meaning, but we just don't. We don't
have a lot of answers about it. But I do
think to answer you, I do think they have meaning,
(42:07):
but maybe not the way, maybe not the way we
think about that they have meaning.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Are the things I can do to improve my quality.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Of sleep, sleep hygiene, which we all hear about. It's
kind of like we think of it like getting a
dental cleaning, so maintaining good sleep hygiene. So that's you know,
minimizing caffeine, minimizing alcohol, keeping consistent bedtimes and wake times,
you know, not watching TV in your bed, you know,
keeping your bedroom just for intimacy and just for sleep.
(42:35):
Those things are protective against developing a sleep disorder. So
that's number one. Number two, I would say all of
these health things like nutrition and exercise, physical fitness, emotional health,
they're all you know, they all are synergistic. So anything
that promotes your wellness and health is good for sleep.
And what it really comes down to a lot from
(42:57):
a medical perspective is vasculine. So like having normal cholesterol,
having normal blood pressure, having a healthy body weight, those
are all things that will promote long term All right.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Well, doctor Meredith, thank you for being on the show.
And uh, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Okay, cass show, Thank you, Meredith. Can't wait to get
home tonight. Crawl into bed. You know it keeps me
awake at night, noise, mostly noise. If everybody shut the
fuck up a fall asleep, how about you? You can
(43:36):
fall asleep under any circumstance. Well, it's time for the
segment we call hello from Toss Show. That's where one
of our lucky subscribers gets a personal shout out from me.
This is to uh Brett Hamilton, who proposed to his
wife on a night they saw me perform in Las
(43:57):
Vegas back in twenty fifteen. I'm told the marriage is
still working out, so I'd like to wish them a
happy tenth anniversary. To mister and missus Brett Hamilton. I
don't know his wife's first name. Let's just guess, what
do you think, ed Claire Claire Hamilton. That beautiful name,
(44:18):
Breton Claire. I'm guessing this'd be their second marriage. Yeah,
name Mike Claire. You got a name, Mike Claire. That's
not that's not your first, that's not your first rodeo Anyway,
what else we got? We got some plugs to do
are traditional plugs. Toss showstore dot com, Eddie's Tour and
My Tour Midwest in June and tickets on sale now
(44:39):
for Monterey, Santa Cruz and San Francisco. That's kind of
a mid California. Now it's out for the free plug, Carl,
you great for the free plug. This week's freak plug
is from Brownville. Historical Society's Spring Flea Market. It's less
than one month away. To mark your calendars. This is
the world's all almost largest flea market. According to their website,
(45:04):
the market will be open from eight am to five
pm May twenty fourth through the twenty six And before
you ask, most vendors or cash only, but more and
more do take cards. You think they take Apple Pay
or no? Probably not. Yeah, nobody of those flea markets
can never get the Apple Pay to work. Nope, that's
always frustrating. Do you have cash? No, I don't have cash.
(45:27):
That's why I'm handing you my phone. There is one
atm in Town, located inside TJ's Tavern at the corner
of Main Street and Highway one thirty six. Pop in
for an early morning pint and get loose. Takeout five
hundred cash and buy some knick knacks or brick or
brac whatever. All right, there's gonna be several food vendors,
ranging from funnel cakes to ribs and hamburgers. That's not
(45:51):
really much of a range. What do you expect. This
is southeast Nebraska. You're practically in Missouri. They're not They're
not known for any type of food. Are they I
can't imagine anyway. You're encouraged to park on the side
of the street in Brownville and on along Highway one
(46:12):
twenty six. They're encouraging to park along a highway. It
can't be a real highway. Nope, it's got to be
like a slow speed limit there. Main street will be
inaccessible during the flea market hours, so don't even think
about trying to park there. Public restrooms are located in
the town hall. Oh man, they're gonna let everybody from
a flea market take a dump in the town hall
(46:33):
roll in there. Well, that's irony, right, What do you
buy a flea market? Is there like go to things
that you want lawn art? A flea mark is just
like a farmer's market, but just stuff not food, right, Yeah,
it makes sense, that's just I mean, are people like
making new stuff or flea mark is not always just
(46:53):
a It's not like it's not like a garage sale,
is it. No, I would say it's elevated. It's an
elevate garage sale. It's much bigger, right, But I mean
some people just like they have they're selling brand new
art and things, crafts. I'll tell you what, what's better
(47:13):
a flea market or a craft fair. Flea market, flea
market's better than a craft fair. Yeah, you get hamburgers
flea markets. Oh there's no hamburgers at a craft fair.
That's interesting. See, I think I'm used to craft fairs.
I don't think I'm going to flea markets very often.
You know what, I might go to this flea market
when I'm up in Omaha. How far away is Brownville
(47:34):
from Omaha? That's what I need to know. I would
definitely fly in for this. Yeah, this looks like I'm
gonna need a full day to get through it, and
parking's free. This is a good deal all around. Well,
I can't wait to get up there and spend some
quality time with the good people in south east Nebraska.
(47:54):
We'll see you next week.
How many hours of sleep does a healthy adult need?
Speaker 2 (00:04):
At least seven?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Is eleven? Depressing?
Speaker 2 (00:08):
Eleven? Something's going on?
Speaker 3 (00:09):
O good, coshha cosh sh show.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hey, welcome to Tosh Show. Great to be here on
this blessed Tuesday. Tuesday. The day is so great they
gave it two days. I like it. How you doing, Eddie,
I'm doing good. How are you doing? You know, just
getting ready for Mother's Day?
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, gearing up.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Your mom's still alive.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
She is good?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Good? That is awkward when he asked somebody they're I know?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
I mean, I think you got to know going and
as they are.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
No, no, you canna? How are you gonna know without asking?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I think you're doing it just to be nice.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
I always assume people's mothers are alive, and then I'm
just rocked to the core when I fin out there,
dead as shit. Yea deadis ship. Oh I am not
looking forward to the day my mom dies. Okay, that
being said, I prepare for it. What have you prepared?
Which is what I'm gonna say at her funeral.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I'm gonna give us a little taste.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I'm gonna beat box.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Oh, I'll tell you why I'm in to beat boxing
ever since that one in sync song where justin Timberlake
just just went to town. I was like, oh man,
(01:39):
this is the most ridiculous started to a show I've
ever done.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
It's good. I need to check into my mom because
Mother's Days coming up? Okay, and No, normally I just
get my mom a card, but this year I got
our car. Boom. Who's her favorite prodigal son? Two prodigal sons. Yeah,
there's two prodigal sons, both both yeah, both me and
my brother Andrew. Straight. That's so funny. We went across
(02:03):
the country. She's got two prodigal sons. When we do return,
there will be no one there to kill the fatted calf.
These are all things I worry about anyway. No, I
got my mama car. Oh my goodness. It's just the
generosity that oozes out of me.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
What kind of card you get her?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
That's a beat he you know, no real lemon, But
it's way worse than the car she was currently driving. Nobody,
you know. Listen, all she talks about now is there's
just too much technology in it. Ah, let's see that
old hag's up too. I love her, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Yeah, Hey, this is Marco.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I've never once planned for her not answering her phone.
What could she be doing at three or clock on
a Tuesday? That's prime awake time? Wa Hey, uh? Two things? One?
How many cinnamon rolls did you eat?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Three? H seems tuesday seems like an unacceptable number. All right,
where and where's mom? She's here? Do you want her? Yeah,
let me talk to her.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Why don't you answer on your phone?
Speaker 4 (03:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I was just looking at my phone. It was right there,
doesn't say.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
What are you talking? You change your number? Oh?
Speaker 4 (03:36):
No, I always have it silence, But yeah, I didn't
have it in my pocket.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Sorry.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Have you Have you figured out how to get your
phone hooked up to your new car? The bluetooth? Is
that roll?
Speaker 4 (03:50):
No? Dad's doing that? Dad soaking his up. I'm not
doing that. I don't do all that. That's crazy. There's
so much. I mean, I love the new car, I
really do, but there's a lot of things that I
don't even know how to work.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I don't even know how to open.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
The sun roof and the all the buttons on the
top of it.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Well, you gotta get in there and tinker. Yeah, what
about id. Does the seat have massaging or no?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Does our seat? What about colder? Ask them if it
blows cold air?
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Does it blow cold air on my butt?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
No?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
No, I bet it does?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
You think it does?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Yeah? Yeah, there's like next to the heated seats, there's
like a one that you make it, press it again,
make it turn blue. Oh, by the way, this counts
as my Mother's Day gift. What this phone call the car?
Speaker 4 (04:47):
I was gonna say, we're leaving. We're leaving this weekend
for North Carolina. So I was going to tell you, anyway,
don't send flowers because we won't be here for a
couple of weeks.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
For a three weeks, I think.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Is this your first road trip with the new whip?
Speaker 4 (05:03):
Huh uh huh.
Speaker 6 (05:04):
I really do like driving, and I you know, the
thing is, I know now I should have gotten rid
of the old car, But it scared me, Daniel that
last time when it heat it up and it said
get all.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Right away, I thought it was going to blow up.
It scared me a lot. And and you know, we
never had trouble till January.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
We started having one thing after another, and it was
so strange, so I hope Mike can sell it.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Then, I you know, I wish we.
Speaker 4 (05:32):
Had done it last fall when you had suggested. But
you know, I, oh, we should have done it ourselves.
We should have just gone down and traded that in
and gotten the car ourselves. But I don't know, it's
just the timing wasn't right or but but now I'm
I was afraid of that car in the end, you know,
(05:54):
And it was such a good car for fifteen years.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Oh, sorry about that, I'm back.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Oh you didn't hear anything.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I'm teasing. That's just a bit. That is just a bit.
I heard everything he said. It was such a it's
so long as long as I've ever talked to you.
Pete was worried. This wasn't gonna be long enough for
an act one.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
This isn't gonna be on. This isn't night, No Daniel
say that.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I'm not. Don't worry about it, all right, Let me go. Then,
I got I got I got work to do, save travels.
Talk to you soon, Love you bye. I tell you what.
I could use a nap now, And today's guest will
watch me enjoy.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Posha.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
My guest today has dedicated her life's work to my
favorite part of the day. She has a medical degree
in counting sheep. Please welcome the sleep Guru herself, Meredith Meredith,
thank you for being here, Thank you for having me.
My first question, Doctor Meredith, do you believe in ghosts?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Hmm, it's good to hear.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
They still scare me though.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Well. Sure, A lot of things that aren't real if
they appeared would terrify me. You were born in Korea
and adopted by a family from Akron, Ohio. Now I
want you to be honest as an infant when you
found out that you lived in Ohio, where you like,
this is fucking horrible.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
My favorite T shirt of all time is it's a
T shirt of the skyline of Cleveland and it says
Cleveland You've got to be tough, which is true.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
How is that skyline? Is it? I get? Are there
memorable buildings to make up that skyline in Cleveland?
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Not really? There's the Key Bank building and there's a
rock rock and Roll Hall of Fame. No, that's right,
that's kind of a highlight.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah. Yeah, I've walked around that thing a few times.
Never stepped foot inside, but I've walked around it as
a first generation immigrant with white parents. What was Ohio
like in the eighties? Were you aware? Did you feel like, Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Yeah, I mean I never even knew the term transracial
adoptee until I think I moved to Seattle, But id it?
Does you do have this like George of the Jungle
feel when you're like, you're like, you're like Asian on
the outside, but you feel like a white you think
like a white person.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
What I think like a white person? Mean?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Well, I mean the first time I kind of got
to know a lot of Asians was when I went
for my fellowship at Stanford and there were a lot
of Asians there.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Stanford hit the bell. That's another one. We have so
many Stanford grads on this show. It's pretty remarkable.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I don't know about you.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
That was the first time you met a lot of Asians?
Is here in California?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yeah? And you know, when you meet other Asians, they
have like a secret handshake and they expect you to
know certain things, and when you don't, they're sort of like,
you know, like it's what's wrong with you? Like why
don't you know? Or people will just start speaking in
Korean to me and I'm like, I does not compute.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
How about now? So now I feel like course I did, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
When I was in college, I took Korean and I
met more Korean people. But still there's this feeling of
like kind of almost like an imposter syndrome, like I
don't belong in this group.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
It's kind of an interesting like racial identity to come from.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Like what about what about with your children? Are you
making them more aware of their So my daughter.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
She's in kindergarten. She came home and she said I
told her that she's half Korean. They were talking about
that and I said, you know, you're half Korean and
she said, well, will I be full Korean when I
grow up?
Speaker 1 (09:34):
It's a great question. That's a good kid.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
So it's hard to explain, of course it is.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Yeah, ah, but it's fun.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, it's interesting to explain.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
You attended the Ohio State University. Did you say it
like that? Yes, like a complete asshole.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
That's how we say it, because there's Ohio University, I know,
and you just we don't want to be associated.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I don't think I don't. Those two of rarely are
confused with each other. But okay, did you have a
good time at that university quite a party school.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
No I did. I had a really good time, really
good time.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Columbus has always been one of my favorite cities to
perform in shows. I love going there. What's your least
favorite Ohio city? Dayton?
Speaker 2 (10:18):
Dayton?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Dayton is awful. Have you ever been there?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Just briefly?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
It's no good. That's a garbage city. John John back there.
He's from Ohio, so here he cares about everything. I
don't care. Where are you from in Ohio? I grew
up very east, probably like two hours from Columbus. Okay,
two hours from Columbus. It's not even a place two
hours you can go across the whole state. It takes four,
(10:47):
all right. So you're a sleep expert, I am.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I'm a sleep neurologist.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Somebody has sleep problems. What do they do? What are
their normal complaints or problems? And they come to you?
What's the process?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Basically? I evaluate people and I try to use my
training and try to classify their disorder into medical descriptions. So,
for instance, snoring is a really common reason people will
come see me. Being sleepy during the day is really common.
Insomnia is really common. And then you'll get some unique
(11:18):
things like sleepwalking, acting up my dreams type things, nightmares.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
That's fun. People start walking around and doing things.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
It's it's interesting. My brother was actually a sleepwalker, and
he would do things like climb out of like he
would punch out his window and like jump off the
roof and like run around and ring the doorbell. And
I have a lot more sympathy for my mom now
that I'm mean that's a crazy person.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
It was.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
It was very severe and it I think it was.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Like, well, I was slept through it until one day.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
But I mean he used to walk. He went to
Ohio University and that explains it. And he would he said,
he would like up in the middle of like campus
and his boxer shorts and be like how did I
get here?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
You know, he's still doing this nonsense.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I think it's better now. I think to some he
like grew out of it to some degree, but he
like can't if he goes to a hotel or like
spends the night he wants to sleep on the first
floor in the basement. So there's like long lasting effects
of it.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Jesus. Yeah, I would travel with handcuffs and just literally
handcuff me to the bed. Every night and then you
can uncuff me in the morning.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Not a bad idea. I mean there are some people
that we have them like zip themselves up in like
a really tight sleeping bag and like put mits on
their hands and you know they can't have anything sharp
in their room.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Do you watch these people sleep? Is that part of
your job? Ever? It is? Oh, it's so weird. Are
are you bored? Or he's got like a motion sense?
Or do they let you know when the highlights are coming?
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Yeah? Well, so we record it and then I would
page through it.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You don't go to their house and just just hover. No,
there's no there's no personal visits that it seems like
a fun thing to do. Don't mind her, she's just
gonna watch us tonight.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Well, nowadays two people will record themselves and they'll send
me things like sometimes they'll get a message on social
media like can you just look at this video? And
it's it's interesting sometimes the way people set up cameras
and like people will like do it just of their
eyes And I'll be like, yeah, that's just when as
you're falling asleep, your eyes kind of rove side to
(13:27):
side and it's just normal.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
They thought they were posastrous.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I thought it was something wrong.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
How many of your clients sleep issues are actually linked
to unresolved trauma?
Speaker 2 (13:36):
I would say a pretty high percentage, maybe thirty percent.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Okay, so you're basically a therapist.
Speaker 5 (13:42):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Are they expected to tell you like stuff that they
went through?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
They don't always tell people. I've had people write me
a letter years later and tell me something that they
were holding in and they finally addressed it.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Right when I see, what's the first thing we have
to do?
Speaker 2 (13:56):
We would just talk for about an hour about your sleep,
about your life, and me really understanding what you're trying
to fix.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Insurance cover this? It does in Seattle? I bet it does?
Does it everywhere?
Speaker 4 (14:08):
It?
Speaker 6 (14:09):
Does?
Speaker 2 (14:09):
You take insurance or no, I take out of network insurance.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Okay? Do people in general sleep better in Seattle because
of all the rain?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
I don't think so. I actually think the light dark
cycle because it's so dramatic there probably messes with people.
Plus there's all the tech people and you know they
have issues.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Why did you specialize in sleep? One?
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I just thought it was interesting. Two, when you practice
neurology and you see people having strokes and you know,
diagnose them with horrible things, you think, gosh, we've got
to do something more about prevention. And so that really
appealed to me. And back when I chose it as
a profession, people thought it was really strange, like it
wasn't even a real field. I remember being in in
(14:52):
my fellowship and meeting people and saying, is that like
a real specially like I think they thought maybe I
was kind of like a complimentary medicine type.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Of something, like you were ahead of the curve. Because
now everyone cares yes so much. I mean listening off
my father in law, just watching him strap up his
seapat machine at night, and I'm just like, then he's
bragging about his scores in the morning, I'm just like, oh,
I got over an eighty Is that good?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
It is good?
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Okay? How many hours of sleep does a healthy adult need?
Speaker 2 (15:27):
At least seven between seven and nine. We like to say,
like there's this Goldilock zone, not too little, not too much,
but seven and nine.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Is eleven depressing?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Eleven something's going on?
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Okay, that's what I'd like. I like, No, I like,
what do I like? I can't even do the math.
I'm at least an eight hour sleeper.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
That's good.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
But I don't sleep it straight? Is that okay? That
I get up of three or four times in the night,
maybe two or three?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Are they short?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Very short, just to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, okay, that's what we wake up after every sleep cycle.
That's probably what's happening. If you think about it, It's
like how to protect yourself if you're living in the wild, right,
you wake up, you look around, and then you go
back to sleep. You're making sure everything's still okay.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
That's what I'm protecting my house. Oh man, that's good.
That's also my biggest fear about jail. I don't think
I sleep has effect in my life to where I'm like,
I don't ever want to commit a crime because going
to jail that just seems like such a nightmare to me.
How they sleep in there?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
What do they do in jail?
Speaker 4 (16:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:28):
I don't know that. First of all, you only get
one pillow, okay, and then there's a threat at all
times somebody doing something to you, like your brother, except
for they're not asleep. Yeah, you know, I don't know.
It just seems crazy if jail was like, oh, you
can have three pillows and you can stay in your
cell all day and sleep all day and night and
we won't bug you. Then I'd be like, okay, jail
(16:50):
sounds okay, but the fact that it's like no rise
and shine, and you got to get why are they
waking people up? I'll be honest with me, I don't
even know that they do, but I feel like I
think they do anyway, Stroke prevention, How is sleep related
to this?
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Well, if you have a sleep disorder, you're more at
risk for vascular disease, so heart attack and stroke, because
sleep plays such an important role in restoring our health
and immune function. If we don't sleep well, our blood
pressure goes up and that's a huge risk factor for
vascular disease.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I this is great. All this stuff makes sense. Yeah,
because nothing bothers me more when I talk to those
people that I, oh, it's just three or four hours,
that's all I need. And I'm like, what's the best
position to sleep in?
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Depends on what you're thinking about. But interestingly, there was
a study that just came out in January in a
very prestigious journal called Cell. These scientists think that when
we sleep on our sides, we can drain our veins
on our neck. We have these big jugular veins in
our neck and this clearance of waste that happens when
we sleep. We get better drainage when we sleep on
our sides. And depending on how the anatomy of your
(17:58):
venous drainage, you may to do both sides or sleep
on one side.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
But I like this answer. I sleep on. I sleep
on my sides, flip back and forth throughout the night,
and then occasionally I'll do a little bit on my back,
and occasionally I'll do a little on my stomach. But
for the most part, I don't have a set position.
Now my wife just sleeps, doesn't move, doesn't remove the covers,
and just sweats all night long. I just find it
(18:23):
disturbing and disgusting. What's the ideal temperature we should be
sleeping at?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
They say sixty five? Does sixty eight degrees?
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Oh my god, that's my heaven if you could talk
my wife into sixty five. No, it's just it's like
seventy two, just something awful. What kind of mattress should
we be using?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
There is some personal preference. What's subjective, and for some
people it depends on you know, how much you weigh,
So the more you weigh the firmer mattress you're gonna
need and so, but like a medium firm is generally
like you know what most people are gonna prefer. And
there's some a little bit of science around. It should
be heat dissipating, so you know, it's keeping you your
(19:07):
body cool. You're not getting hot.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
Everything she's wrong, right, everything she sleeps wrong. She shouldn't
be this hot. All right, that's a firmished matdress. But
I do I have a little bit of the acid reflex.
So I've put the blocks up on the bed to
for a slight that's fine, right, yep?
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Or no, No, that's good, that's good.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
What about those beds the old people have the foldable ones?
Are people actually sleeping those things?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
People do? There are some people that need to elevate more,
either because you know their body weight, it helps them
kind of mechanically breathe easier, or for reflex. You know,
some people just have trouble getting out of bed, and
so it's helpful for them.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
I don't know, well, I don't like it when they
have beds that are split in half, where one half
can do something in the other half and then there's
a seam in the middle. All of a sudden, I
want to roll over and say hi to what's her name?
You know, now I've got a seam.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Well, but you know what with the temperature thing like
you're talking about, they have those cooling mattresses now where
like you know, you can have the cooling mattress on
your head.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
I don't care. I don't care about any of that.
That's and you know the worst mattresses of those air
any sleep numbers where they have the air that's garbage.
Is snoring a sign of someone getting real sound sleep
or a sign that they're about to die.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
It's more on the about to die closer to the
about to die. Although you can do that for a
long time and your body sort of makes adaptations and
they're not necessarily great adaptations. Like your your brain starts
stops being as arousable, so you start becoming sleepier and sleepier.
So that's why, you know, think about it. If someone's
(20:44):
snoring really loud and they can sleep through that, you
know that's not natural. You should awaken to something that loud.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
This is great. See, I'm just I'm just thinking my
in laws now because she has to have my mother
in law has to have a sound machine on. A
sound machine as an adult seems unnecessary. Josta has to
have a complete black there can be no light, and
then then he's got the seapap machine on and it's
just chaos in there. It's just the loudest noise. I
(21:12):
have got children in the other room that don't need
these type of distractions.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
What's wrong with them getting older?
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Is that's just and just. It seems like they're just
making stuff up. Explain what sleep debt is to people
who might not be aware of the termin thing. It
sounds like a hippie dippy bullshit.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I think of it like sleep appetite. So whenever you
stay awake, your body builds up neurotransmitters and that increases
your need for sleep. So it's just like if you
starve yourself for a while, you'll become hungry and hungrier.
So we need a certain amount of sleep debt sixteen
hours on average to sleep eight hours at night.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
All right, I'll believe that. Can we catch up on
sleep to some degree?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (21:56):
So for instance, if you're very sleep deprived, Let's say
you have a big test or something this week and
you don't get great sleep and then you can make
up for it on the weekend. But if you're chronically
sleep deprived, if you just think about in terms of math,
if you add up those hours, it becomes so many hours.
If you're chronically sleep deprived, you really can't catch up
on it.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
My mother, I was not a great student. Now you
were a great student. But my mother's advice to me
always Sometimes I would be overwhelmed about a test and
herd vice as a well, instead of studying really hard,
she'd like, wehill just make sure you have a good
night's sleep. That was always her advice to almost everything.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Wait, it's a good advice.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Just go to bed.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
It's really good advice.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
You think it's good advice. That's great.
Speaker 2 (22:40):
Well, you have to study, but then there are all
other studies that show you're learning. You keep what you
learned if you sleep after.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Oh, well, I don't know. I think she was just like,
I think you just need some sleep. I failed the test.
She's like, well, were you rested? I felt great? How
long should it take you to fall asleep?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Oh, fifteen minutes, ten to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
I can full sleep. I can beat that. You can,
Oh easily?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Are you like my head hits the pillow and naps.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
It's just the second I am allowed to take a nap,
I just go to sleep for how long, Well, I
don't know. I mean to end as long as I'm
allowed to. If I had my dream nap, I would
probably it would probably be close to an hour, but
usually they're much shorter than that. Is that too long?
Is an hour too long?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
No, it's not too long. There are different lengths of
naps that have different benefits. So like the power nap,
you're getting a certain number of minutes of stage two
and that's performance enhancing. And then you know, we say,
like the perfect nap is one sleep cycle midday, and
so there's like different times you would take it to
try to get different distributions of your sleep stages.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I just feel like I'm very European. I just need
a nap after I eat. If I eat lunch, I
want to go down almost immediately. Can napping be a problem.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
The only time I'm really against them is for people
who struggle with chronic insomnia. They're very counterproductive to that.
Or sometimes people fall asleep on the couch and then
they get up to go to bed, and then they
can't sleep because they've you know, just slept for a while.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
My wife every night falls asleep on the couch at
night and I'm like, well, why don't we just get
up and go to bed, and she's like, I don't
want to go. I'm like, she just wants to go
to sleep twice Basically, it seems so unnecessary. But the
ordeal of doing all the stuff before bed is too much.
I guess we have no TVs in any bedroom in
our house, but everybody gets an iPad. No, we don't
(24:38):
have TVs. I remember when they were that was I
was like, no, no, there's like one. There's TV in
the family room. The end, it's it's the phones and
the screens that are the biggest problem with good sleep.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
I think. So I think that's a big part of it.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
Reading on your phone before bed is it's bad for us.
We shouldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
It's bad because it's the light, for one, is sending
a signal that it's daytime.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
When can't we change the light setting.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
It doesn't really filter it out completely at the little
like blut. I forget what it's called, like dark mode
or I forget what it's called.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
There is a dark mode.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
And then also what we're doing. So if you're on
social media or you're scrolling, it's kind of giving you
a little dopamine hits and just kind of it kind
of keeps your day going where we need a little.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
But what if I'm just straight reading from the phone.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I think that's okay. I mean, it's better. The less
light the better.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
When do you stop eating before bed?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So I eat dinner around six o'clock and I don't
eat anything after that.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
You have dessert after dinner?
Speaker 2 (25:42):
No, I mean rarely, unless it's like a special occasion,
or you don't.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Have a sweet tooth, or you just don't want to
have dessert because it's not good for you.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
It will affect my sleep. I will have a reflux.
And also I just if I do, I'm going to
gain weight.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
You're a tiny person. I don't is you're do you die?
It is a huge part of sleeping, right it is.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
It is more than people realize. They're entwined, they're synergistic
with each other.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
So you're saying a minimum of three hours, I would
a minimum of three I'd love to eat, And then well,
what about but naps, It's okay to eat and then
crash if you eat before bed.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
You know, one you can have like reflux and things
like that. But also it moves your circadian rhythm, like
your natural timing of sleep, it moves it a little later. So,
especially if you're someone who has trouble getting up in
the morning or going to bed at the right time,
it can be very counterproductive.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
How come if I don't fall asleep right when I'm tired,
that then oh, there goes that opportunity to fall asleep.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
I don't know the answer to that question, but I
do hear people say that a lot that they almost
feel like, you know, it's like a wave coming and
you missed it and you have to wait for the
next one.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Right, But that's not helpful if you can't tell me
why do you sleep well?
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I do?
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I sleep extremely well?
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Have you always slept well?
Speaker 6 (26:58):
You know?
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I'm one of those goods sleepers. But in sleep medicine,
you can be too sleepy. So I've definitely been on
that end of the spectrum, like we think of insomnia's
when you don't sleep well. But there can also be
people who are too sleepy and sleep too much, and
so I've definitely been on that end of the spectrum
at times in my life.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Do you are you married?
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I'm married?
Speaker 1 (27:19):
Okay, your husband, yes? Does he sleep well?
Speaker 6 (27:23):
He does.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Do you guys go to bed at the same time
every night?
Speaker 2 (27:26):
We do, but we're kind of we're both night owls,
and so we we sort of have a negative effect
on each other.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
I don't like this. Okay, you're both night owls. So
what time do you go to bed at night?
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Well?
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Now, because I have young kids, I try to go
to bed by like nine thirty ten. But Pry before kids,
it was like midnight.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
What time do you wake up? What times the kids
wake up?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
My kids wake up around six forty five seven, but
I get up at between six and six fifteen.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
I'm just getting your routine. We have the exact same
age kids. You have a two year old and a
six year old. We both have two year olds and
six year olds. Every minute that I'm awake past them
going to bed, I feel is wasted. I'm like, I
should just go down. What am I doing? What We're
going to start a new series? Like this is not
the time, this is this is time to recharge. Yes,
(28:15):
So I try I try to go I go to
bed very early. Did your kids sleep well?
Speaker 6 (28:19):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
I mean I had to sleep train them, which for
some reason is extremely controversial. Whenever I talk about it,
people will I'll get messages saying like you're a child abuser.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Well that who cares think that?
Speaker 2 (28:32):
No, I know, but for some reason it's so controversial.
But I did. I did sleep train my first one
around six months, and the second one I was just
like three months.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Let's go, oh, good for you.
Speaker 6 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I sleep trained the first one and it took in
like two days. Yes, it was like two days of torture,
you know, doing the alarm on my phone. Okay, but
the second one didn't care as much and she just
figured it out pretty quickly. Both of my kids great sleepers.
And I see people that struggle but they don't do
(29:04):
the things necessary to stop it. So I'm like, well,
I don't care anymore. Oh you're tired, Well, yeah, your
kid still sleeps in your bed and she's five? Yes,
what age do you put like pillows and blankets and
stuff in there?
Speaker 2 (29:17):
I waited, and you're technically supposed to wait until one
year because sometimes longer.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Some of these pediatricians like, don't put anything in there yet.
I'm like, what, my kid's got a pillow blanket, doesn't
need a sleepsack and just sleeps. They're like, well does
she stay on the pillow? Like for the most part?
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
How important are pillows?
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I guess I don't know the scientific answer to that,
but I think people find them to be helpful for
next support, and I think they become something we're used
to if we have them.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
So, how many pillows you sleep with?
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Two?
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I'm a three?
Speaker 3 (29:49):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Are they all under your head?
Speaker 4 (29:51):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
No?
Speaker 1 (29:52):
But I have one like kind of like uh, firmish
foam one that is down and then a really soft
feather one on top it. That way I get the height,
but I still have the softness of the feather one
smart Okay. Then the other one is just for body
and knees and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
I'm going to use that in my clinic.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
You can have that one. No, but my wife has
just she's got all kinds of nonsense. She's got these
square pillows that are supposed to help for back support.
None of it I don't pay attention to. There's a
wall between us at this point, and that both physical
and emotional. Do women actually require more sleep than men?
Speaker 2 (30:30):
There are studies that show that women need a little
bit more sleep than men, But it's a little bit
murky because women also have more fragmented sleep and more
sleep disruption, and so there is it's not really clear
whether there's a physiological need for more sleep or women
just sleep a little bit more because it's more disrupted,
or they have more you know, some women have more
(30:53):
responsibilities if they carry the domestic load and then also working,
So we don't really know if it's purely physiology or
it's a combination of things.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Did you work through your pregnancies or no, I did.
Did you like that or no?
Speaker 2 (31:09):
You know, it would have been nice, I think to
have a choice about it. I think I would have
liked to work less than like normal. And it's definitely
like a push pull where I love my work and
I love what I do, but I'm also aware of
the fact that this is such a transient and important
time to pay full attention to my kids.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
So how did you sleep while you were pregnant?
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Not as good as I did?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Well? Sure?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
But was it was it miserable at the end?
Speaker 4 (31:36):
Or no?
Speaker 2 (31:37):
I had a lot of vivid dreams, which is very common.
I had I had horrible reflux, to the point where
like one of my back, like the back part of
one of my teeth like shattered off because my reflux
was so bad. Oh so yeah, And then I had
all the pillows.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Did you the big snake one that wrapsed around you?
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I hated that thing so much. The day that thing
left our bedroom, I was just so excited.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Just because it takes up so much space.
Speaker 4 (32:02):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
No, because putting the dumb pillow case on it is maddening.
It's so fucking hard. It's a two person job. I
need somebody to hold while I'm pulling. It's I just
I didn't like that my son doesn't close his eyes
all the way when he sleeps. Besides it just being creepy.
Is there anything I need to do?
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Is it all the time?
Speaker 1 (32:22):
Or do you like when I see him sleeping, I'm like,
there's they're just a little bit open, you know, people
that sleep with their eyes a little bit open.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I think, just as long as his eyes aren't dry,
just making sure that that as ice tay, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
Okay, I think I think his eyes are lubricating. Where
are you at on giving kids fistful of fistfuls of melatonin?
Not good, not good, good to know I would never
do that. What about melotonin in general?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
I like melatonin for very specific reasons, for short periods
of time. I think it can be appropriate, but it
shouldn't be a substitute for trying to form the natural
behaviors and creating patterns and consistency with your kids around bedtime.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Okay? Have you ever used it for your kids?
Speaker 2 (33:05):
A few times?
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Okay, me too? What should we sleep in? And what
do you think of people that sleep naked? It's disgusting
leading the witness? Uh, no comment, naked sleeper? Is that
what I just learned by you saying no comment?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
No, I'm not, I'm not. I think you have to
dress for the climate you live in, you know, I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Controlled climates, well.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Not necessarily like in Seattle, no one has air conditioning.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Right in the song Malibu, nobody has air conditioning?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Really okay? But is there an ice breeze all the time? Okay?
But if it's really hot, you know, obviously you're going
to sleep in something lighter. But you know, they say,
like moisture wicking and like heat dissipating fabrics are good.
But Honestly, those things are like icing on the cake.
It's not an it's you don't have to have those
things to be a good sleeper, but they can. I
think they can enhance the experience, right, just.
Speaker 1 (34:01):
Like recently gotten pajamas, like actual pajamas, because my wife's like,
what are you doing? Why don't you have any nice pajamas?
I don't like sleep. My grandpa. I have one pair
of his pajamas because I, as a child, I would
always I can I remember all of his pajamas, and
he had all those, like the pants with the shirt
and the button. I'm like, he is sleeping in a
(34:22):
little suit. Everybody's on the show gets a gift. It's
just stuff I bring from my house. You're not gonna
like any same story, but it. I tell my kids
they have birthday parties. You do birthday parties for your kids.
Do you invite their friends?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Do you allow their friends to bring gifts?
Speaker 6 (34:39):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (34:40):
Okay, I say no gifts. I'm always like, no, no gifts,
no thank you, just whatever. I don't care. And then
everybody still brings gifts. Well guess what, I don't give
them to my kids. I know, I store them. And
then whenever I need a gift for some reason is
(35:00):
like boom, We've got a gift ready to go.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Do your kids?
Speaker 1 (35:03):
No, no, no, okay, no no, I don't tell them.
But by the way they get they get gifts. We
give them gifts for their birthday. But when I'm having
a party for their birthday, but I just want the
kids to come over and play, and I don't want
this big thing of everybody bring gifts. But then sure enough,
everybody brings a gifts. My son's birthday party just happened
in his six year party and Eddie that works here.
(35:27):
Three people got him magic sets. Now, first of all,
I don't want my kid playing magic here. So there's
a magic kit for your daughter. I want her to
do that unopened gift. Magic's too hard. You can put
it on the fourth. There's gona be more gifts. You're
gonna come up with me. Do you know how hard
it is to do magic. It's important to give a
(35:47):
practice my kids. I'd rather learn the piano. I don't
want to spending all his time in his room becoming
a magician. That's just weird. He's got three kits. The
one Eddie got him is he opened it too quickly,
so I couldn't regift it. That's not that one. It
was like three thousand pieces. Anyway, that's not your other daughter,
(36:09):
your two year old. These are nice unused book a
unicorn and you just come home with something and make
them happy.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
There you go give that now, I don't have to
shop for them to bring them.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
You don't write exactly, we'll put that in there here. Now,
your husband did he watched my show? Right?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
He is a super fan.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Okay, look at this. This is an award I received.
It is presented to Dan to celebrate my one millionth
Tosh point zero download. It must have been something on
an app or something stupid. I've never had any awards
hung anywhere. I gotta get rid of the I'm gonna
sign that for him.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Oh yes, I guarantee you he will put it in
his office.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
All they're good. You tell him to take that. Okay. Now,
I like candles, but you can't sleep with him burga right.
Oh so I had a bunch of faint candles. But
my wife was like, we can't have fake candles as
and I was like, okay, so we'll just get rid
of all these candles. We're gonna love these. I think
there's still batteries in these. Yeah, that one's they look
at that. They've got remote controls. You can put those
(37:09):
in your kids froom. Then it's safe. They can just
have candles.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
Just was like, I do not need you have to
get another No, no, we'll ship.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
That for you. Don't worrybout that there's remote controls. You
can put them on timers. I don't. I don't even
my kids. Just doesn't matter. We'll get rid of those.
You've you'll love those.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
I feel like I'm on the prices right, more.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Like, let's make a deal where you win the all okay,
but we're gonna have to get those off the deaths.
I'm sorry. It's a lot, I know, but.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
You you know I'll give you a back can handle it.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Have you made contact with your biological parents.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
I haven't made contact, but I have attempted to. I
have done what's called like a search through the adoption agency,
but they aren't able to put me in contact. But
I have tried. You know, if I didn't have a
little kids right now and I had the bandwidth, I
sort of wish I would have done it when I
was younger.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Okay, but people have.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Told me that it's possible, and you have to go
to Korea. You have to go to Korea, and you
have to hire like a private detective, or you have
to basically find them. I think that's the real hurdle,
is that, especially in Korea. There' that's why you were
giving up for adoption, is there's so much shame about
(38:25):
being an unwed mother, and even if in my case
from the information I have, it's really forced upon, you know,
by the family, because you not only are you bringing
shame to yourself, you're bringing shamed to the whole family.
And so they sort of don't want to be found.
And so for some of the people I know that
have found their families, they still didn't. It was like
still a secret. It was like, I'll talk to you,
(38:47):
but there's not going to be any like reunions or
anything because I have my family now and they don't.
Speaker 1 (38:52):
Know about you now. As an adoptive individual, how do
you feel about the experience overall and what advice would
you offer to someone considering it.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
The main thing that I would tell people is keep
the connection between the biological family. You know, you don't
necessarily have to have a relationship the whole childhood, but
maintain that identity and the connection so that if the
child has questions and wants to seek that out someday,
they have a right to go ask those questions.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
I mean health benefits alone.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
Yeah, health benefits for sure.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
I've looked into adopting before, I think in California. Now,
in California, all adoptions have to be open adoptions. It
can't be a sealed off private like that they used
to be. Is that true or no?
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I don't know that for sure.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I think that's true. I don't know that was what
I was told. Now that, which I think is a
good thing. Is what you're saying is what we should do.
Can you have a nightmare and still have good sleep?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
You can? A lot of it has to do with
the way the person subjectively interprets that experience. Usually when
people come to see me for that, they're not having
a good sleep. I mean, that's why they're there to
see me.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
Is lucid dreaming a real thing?
Speaker 4 (40:02):
It is?
Speaker 1 (40:03):
Can you do it?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
I've experienced it, but I'm not one of the rare
people that can do it frequently, who experiences it frequently.
But I've never really trained. I think you have to
train yourself to some degree.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
How do we how do we know that people are
actually good at it and or doing what they say?
We just have to take people's word. There's no way
to track it, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
But sometimes you you know, like there's a famous researcher
that did these experiments where he would be following people's
eye movements and they would wake up and say they
were playing like a ping pong match. And you know,
there can be little things like that.
Speaker 1 (40:39):
Okay, well that's the one thing that goes back and forth.
Speaker 2 (40:43):
True, but no, you do have to take their word
for it.
Speaker 1 (40:46):
Yeah. I mean, I've tried to control a dream or too,
but at some point, I'm like, I'm just wide awake.
At this point, I'm not this is no longer a dream.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Well, you're supposed to ask yourself during the day, am
I dreaming? Am I dreaming? And then by saying that
and practicing it, then that should happen to you when
you're dreaming, and then supposedly you'll realize that you're dreaming.
That's supposedly the first step. And then once you have
that awareness that you're dreaming, then you can try to
control the dream.
Speaker 1 (41:15):
All right, I'm going to start working on it. Am
I dreaming? Am I dreaming? I'm going to do that
all day long. Do dreams mean anything?
Speaker 2 (41:24):
I think it depends who you ask, But they're basically
going to contain content from the day, important things that
happen during the day. And then basically what's happening is
the brain is scanning memories and trying to make associations
between past memories, and so what we remember about them
is what we call dreams. I mean, we all dream
every night and we're not consciously aware of it or
(41:45):
don't remember it. But I think there is a whole
community in neuroscience these are like legitimate researchers that believe
there's so much about our unconscious awareness and our intuition
that does have meaning, but we just don't. We don't
have a lot of answers about it. But I do
think to answer you, I do think they have meaning,
(42:07):
but maybe not the way, maybe not the way we
think about that they have meaning.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
Are the things I can do to improve my quality.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
Of sleep, sleep hygiene, which we all hear about. It's
kind of like we think of it like getting a
dental cleaning, so maintaining good sleep hygiene. So that's you know,
minimizing caffeine, minimizing alcohol, keeping consistent bedtimes and wake times,
you know, not watching TV in your bed, you know,
keeping your bedroom just for intimacy and just for sleep.
(42:35):
Those things are protective against developing a sleep disorder. So
that's number one. Number two, I would say all of
these health things like nutrition and exercise, physical fitness, emotional health,
they're all you know, they all are synergistic. So anything
that promotes your wellness and health is good for sleep.
And what it really comes down to a lot from
(42:57):
a medical perspective is vasculine. So like having normal cholesterol,
having normal blood pressure, having a healthy body weight, those
are all things that will promote long term All right.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
Well, doctor Meredith, thank you for being on the show.
And uh, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Okay, cass show, Thank you, Meredith. Can't wait to get
home tonight. Crawl into bed. You know it keeps me
awake at night, noise, mostly noise. If everybody shut the
fuck up a fall asleep, how about you? You can
(43:36):
fall asleep under any circumstance. Well, it's time for the
segment we call hello from Toss Show. That's where one
of our lucky subscribers gets a personal shout out from me.
This is to uh Brett Hamilton, who proposed to his
wife on a night they saw me perform in Las
(43:57):
Vegas back in twenty fifteen. I'm told the marriage is
still working out, so I'd like to wish them a
happy tenth anniversary. To mister and missus Brett Hamilton. I
don't know his wife's first name. Let's just guess, what
do you think, ed Claire Claire Hamilton. That beautiful name,
(44:18):
Breton Claire. I'm guessing this'd be their second marriage. Yeah,
name Mike Claire. You got a name, Mike Claire. That's
not that's not your first, that's not your first rodeo Anyway,
what else we got? We got some plugs to do
are traditional plugs. Toss showstore dot com, Eddie's Tour and
My Tour Midwest in June and tickets on sale now
(44:39):
for Monterey, Santa Cruz and San Francisco. That's kind of
a mid California. Now it's out for the free plug, Carl,
you great for the free plug. This week's freak plug
is from Brownville. Historical Society's Spring Flea Market. It's less
than one month away. To mark your calendars. This is
the world's all almost largest flea market. According to their website,
(45:04):
the market will be open from eight am to five
pm May twenty fourth through the twenty six And before
you ask, most vendors or cash only, but more and
more do take cards. You think they take Apple Pay
or no? Probably not. Yeah, nobody of those flea markets
can never get the Apple Pay to work. Nope, that's
always frustrating. Do you have cash? No, I don't have cash.
(45:27):
That's why I'm handing you my phone. There is one
atm in Town, located inside TJ's Tavern at the corner
of Main Street and Highway one thirty six. Pop in
for an early morning pint and get loose. Takeout five
hundred cash and buy some knick knacks or brick or
brac whatever. All right, there's gonna be several food vendors,
ranging from funnel cakes to ribs and hamburgers. That's not
(45:51):
really much of a range. What do you expect. This
is southeast Nebraska. You're practically in Missouri. They're not They're
not known for any type of food. Are they I
can't imagine anyway. You're encouraged to park on the side
of the street in Brownville and on along Highway one
(46:12):
twenty six. They're encouraging to park along a highway. It
can't be a real highway. Nope, it's got to be
like a slow speed limit there. Main street will be
inaccessible during the flea market hours, so don't even think
about trying to park there. Public restrooms are located in
the town hall. Oh man, they're gonna let everybody from
a flea market take a dump in the town hall
(46:33):
roll in there. Well, that's irony, right, What do you
buy a flea market? Is there like go to things
that you want lawn art? A flea mark is just
like a farmer's market, but just stuff not food, right, Yeah,
it makes sense, that's just I mean, are people like
making new stuff or flea mark is not always just
(46:53):
a It's not like it's not like a garage sale,
is it. No, I would say it's elevated. It's an
elevate garage sale. It's much bigger, right, But I mean
some people just like they have they're selling brand new
art and things, crafts. I'll tell you what, what's better
(47:13):
a flea market or a craft fair. Flea market, flea
market's better than a craft fair. Yeah, you get hamburgers
flea markets. Oh there's no hamburgers at a craft fair.
That's interesting. See, I think I'm used to craft fairs.
I don't think I'm going to flea markets very often.
You know what, I might go to this flea market
when I'm up in Omaha. How far away is Brownville
(47:34):
from Omaha? That's what I need to know. I would
definitely fly in for this. Yeah, this looks like I'm
gonna need a full day to get through it, and
parking's free. This is a good deal all around. Well,
I can't wait to get up there and spend some
quality time with the good people in south east Nebraska.
(47:54):
We'll see you next week.
Host
Daniel Tosh
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