May 14, 2025 • 11 mins
Daniel breaks down the good, the bad, and the ugly in this year’s conference semifinals matchups.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Pasha Tosh sh Show. Hey, guys, guess what it's time
for a Toss Show emergency pod Eddie hit the Sirens
braw band. Now you probably would why I'm dressed like
the Capitol One guy. Yeah, I don't know, Jack, I
(00:26):
just looked like that. He looks like a fucking idiot.
I hate that guy. Hands. No, what's that big hands?
I don't give a shit if he's got big hands. Guys,
this emergency pod is serious. Okay, okay, we're talking NBA.
So I put on a dumb jacket, so I looked
like an NBA draft pick. And now some people right
now we go, I don't care about the NBA. Good
turn this off. It's not for you. Nobody watches basketball.
(00:48):
Fuck you, everyone watches basketball. You don't watch basketball. I
care about basketball. We're gonna talk about basketball. And if
you haven't been watching this year's playoffs, you've missed out
all right. Well, by the way, gratulations to Dallas on
winning the first RIG pick of the draft. Oh my goodness,
you know who is that? GM is like, Oh, thank god,
(01:12):
we can draft another white superstar to lead the Mavericks
for the next twenty years or six years. And then
fucking trade him to La when the barbecue here in
Dallas gets them all fat and doe. I can't believe
they want but I do want to point out as
a Miami Heat fan that had they not they were
(01:34):
the ten seed and got their way into the playoffs
through the stupid playing games to only get blown out
by seventy each night in Cleveland, they would have had
that same probability the eleventh seed and that would have
been their first pick. But I'm sure pat Riley saw
that and realized that's not what we want to do.
(01:55):
By the way, I don't know what you watch ed
the games on your YouTube TV? Right? Yeah? Okay? When
it asked me do you want to watch it on
tn T or True TV, I'm like, what, Who in
the fuck is picking True TV? The only people watching
the playoffs on True TV or the impractical Jokers? True
(02:16):
TV is the first option. I scroll past it every
single time. I don't know they're different announcers. Do they
slime you? Another thing that's really annoying me. Now, I'm
glad that we have replay. Of course it should go faster,
but knock it off with the players after every single
foul coach, child, I didn't touch them. Shut the fuck up.
(02:39):
You're a role player. It's the beginning of the first quarter.
Nobody's challenging this play. Get back on defense. No one
cares if you foul out. I didn't touch the ball
last Okay, calm down, we'll review it if the play
is important. If I was a coach and one of
my players did this, I would be like, Okay, we
(02:59):
have to bench you because you're dumb. You think we
don't understand. We have one job over here. It's to
call timeouts and bucking review a few plays. All right,
let's talk about Cleveland. Now, leave it to Cleveland, the
most Cleveland thing in the world. Win games when they
don't matter, and then shit the bed when it does.
You know, you did the best regular season in franchise history.
(03:22):
Go ahead and shove that up your depressing ass. By
the way, when people talk about like Detroit being depressed,
I'm like, are you kidding me? And I know it's
oh it's almost hack talking about how awful Cleveland is.
But you tell me, oh, you can live in Gaza
or Cleveland. I'm picking Gaza every time. Speaking of depressing,
poor Boston, hate him or really hate him. You know,
(03:45):
watching Tatum go down, I was just hoping. I was like, oh,
please be another Paul Pierce shit in his pants scenario.
There's carting you off because there's just shit everywhere. But no, no,
he's done. I have a theory that he wanted to
leave and not be seen in that series because he
(04:06):
was the only good looking fella. If you look at
both those teams, man, are they ugly top the bottom.
I'm not talking about their play. Their play is great,
but physically, man, they are all ugly. Karl Anthony Towns
his posture just walking around. His neck comes out the
front of his torso Jalen Brown's his eyes are too
(04:31):
close together. That seems weird. Thibodeau his You know, you
don't go after another man's hair when you yourself are balding. Well,
you know I did something about mine early on when
it started a thin. I can't imagine if I had
four hairs left, Like I'm gonna hang on to him
(04:52):
and slick them back. That's so weird, especially when you're
a basketball coach where every angle that you're shot at
is from above, Like, can't he doesn't he watch some
game tape and see himself occasionally go oh, that looks horrible.
I should buzz my head. What about Jalen Brunson. I mean,
mister Clutch physically looks like he should work security at
(05:16):
the farmer's market. I've never once seen him crack a smile,
just constant. I'm like, bro, you're you're making millions and
millions of dollars, You're in New York City and you're
the best player. Smile. Nope, guy's got no soul whatsoever.
Who are the other ugly people in that series physically?
I'm just talking about physical appearances. I'm just cutting men apart.
Derek White, men being cruel to men. Derek White, that's
(05:39):
an odd look. Oh uh, I don't know what's wrong
with him. That lineage line looks like it's a little overlapping.
Peyton Pritchard, Oh man, how neat to be sitting in
section three point fifty and get your name called? You're
playing what? I'll just live here and all right here
(06:02):
I go. I mean, if you were to tell me
that he is a world class athlete, I would think, no,
not this guy. By the way, porzingis rarely can you
be you know a lot? Via seven foot whatever and
and be not the ugly duckling somehow he like looks like,
oh he looks. Okay. That just shows you what kind
(06:25):
of monsters that you're surrounded by. And they show the
celebrities and they're ugly, even in New York supposed to
be supposed to be a glamorous city. I'm just looking
at all these old Knicks players. I'm looking at uh,
Spike Lee, Tracy Morgan's on on the court side seat,
just vomiting. What is happening. I mean, come on, let's
(06:49):
get some sex appeal in there. Guys, that's what you
do with your draft pick. You've you've clearly got a
team that can play. Let's get some hunks on the court.
Oh ah, I mean, I know I'm a homer, but
I long for a Dan Marley. Remember how good looking
he was. Oh my goodness, this is a nice tan
(07:12):
on the court looking cool. Yeah. Well, anyway, sorry to Boston, Uh,
but you know you won it all last year. Nobody
feels good. I tell you, this generation of people in Boston,
you know who are are what you might call it, guy,
our buddy, our teamster president said it best. Is this
(07:33):
generation of kids in Boston that grew up with nothing
but winners. They have no idea how bad their parents
had it. Minnesota Golden State. This is tough to watch.
What's the over under on if Draymond takes someone's life.
This is why we got Jimmy Butler for moments like
(07:54):
they said this. They said this constantly when they were
winning meaningless games at the end of the season. I
mean they weren't meaningless to them, but they weren't tough games.
This is why we got Jimmy Butler. And I'm like, guys,
wait till he starts missing at the rim. It's so annoying.
It's constant. I've watched it every play. Oh, he'll just
(08:15):
miss buckets so close. No, not playoff, Jimmy, playoff Jimmy.
Is he helping? You know? They're not saying it now.
They're not saying this is why we brought him here.
Now that the it's like, oh, well, you kind of
need Steph. I meant injuries happen, of course, but you
beat the Warriors without Steph, We're gonna put an asterisk
(08:36):
next to it. That's like saying, you know, in the nineties,
oh we beat the bulls, you beat the Bulls with
Jordan No, no, you know that that year and a
half period where he was playing t ball because his
dad's gambling problem. Oh well, it's not really beating the
Bulls then, is it. My point is, you're not beating
the Warriors if if Steph played every game and finally,
(08:59):
the OKAC Denver, Oh, the Nuggets. My favorite thing to
watch at an OKAC game when they're playing at home
is if the team starts out cold and watching the
fans get winded having to stand until their team makes
the first bucket of the night and they can all
(09:19):
sit down. It's actually nice that that team gives out
T shirts to everyone, because Lord knows their fashion sense
in Oklahoma, Oklahoma might be the only place where people
are buying tickets to the game so that they get
the T shirt. I'm actually positive a lot of the
(09:42):
people show up without a shirt on. They're like, oh, well,
we get a shirt when we get there. You know
why they never do those give outs in La at
a Lakers game because Laker fans aren't gonna put on
a gross T shirt. No one's gonna, oh you want
me to put this thick BFT over my outfit? No,
it's not gonna happen. That's that's cute. I'll give it
(10:06):
to my gardener. I'll let them wash the car with it.
God help us if Denver makes it to the finals again.
I know Djokich is an amazing talent. Great, he's unwatchable.
Djokich might be the least entertaining athlete to watch in
the history of athletes. It's like if you planted a
tree in the middle of the court and waited for
(10:27):
it to grow, and they're like, well, why don't we
give that tree fifty one million dollars a year. I
don't even know if he understands that he's getting paid
that much money, like you probably don't have to pay him.
Maybe thinks these are pickup games and just tons of
people come to watch because it's the us of a Eddie.
(10:48):
Who you think is gonna win Larry O'Brien Trophy? And
I'll give you a million dollars if you can tell
me who the fuck Larry O'Brien is. No, I don't
even know. I don't get the connection. Oh geez, all right,
I have no idea I have I've never I've never
wanted to know. Well, lucky for US. We only have
four more weeks of NBA playoffs. At least it's entertaining.
(11:10):
We got four more weeks and then just MLB and
w n B A and I'm sure I think the
Pickleball Tour picks back up. All right, give me the siren?
Where where shot clock? Okay,
Pasha Tosh sh Show. Hey, guys, guess what it's time
for a Toss Show emergency pod Eddie hit the Sirens
braw band. Now you probably would why I'm dressed like
the Capitol One guy. Yeah, I don't know, Jack, I
(00:26):
just looked like that. He looks like a fucking idiot.
I hate that guy. Hands. No, what's that big hands?
I don't give a shit if he's got big hands. Guys,
this emergency pod is serious. Okay, okay, we're talking NBA.
So I put on a dumb jacket, so I looked
like an NBA draft pick. And now some people right
now we go, I don't care about the NBA. Good
turn this off. It's not for you. Nobody watches basketball.
(00:48):
Fuck you, everyone watches basketball. You don't watch basketball. I
care about basketball. We're gonna talk about basketball. And if
you haven't been watching this year's playoffs, you've missed out
all right. Well, by the way, gratulations to Dallas on
winning the first RIG pick of the draft. Oh my goodness,
you know who is that? GM is like, Oh, thank god,
(01:12):
we can draft another white superstar to lead the Mavericks
for the next twenty years or six years. And then
fucking trade him to La when the barbecue here in
Dallas gets them all fat and doe. I can't believe
they want but I do want to point out as
a Miami Heat fan that had they not they were
(01:34):
the ten seed and got their way into the playoffs
through the stupid playing games to only get blown out
by seventy each night in Cleveland, they would have had
that same probability the eleventh seed and that would have
been their first pick. But I'm sure pat Riley saw
that and realized that's not what we want to do.
(01:55):
By the way, I don't know what you watch ed
the games on your YouTube TV? Right? Yeah? Okay? When
it asked me do you want to watch it on
tn T or True TV, I'm like, what, Who in
the fuck is picking True TV? The only people watching
the playoffs on True TV or the impractical Jokers? True
(02:16):
TV is the first option. I scroll past it every
single time. I don't know they're different announcers. Do they
slime you? Another thing that's really annoying me. Now, I'm
glad that we have replay. Of course it should go faster,
but knock it off with the players after every single
foul coach, child, I didn't touch them. Shut the fuck up.
(02:39):
You're a role player. It's the beginning of the first quarter.
Nobody's challenging this play. Get back on defense. No one
cares if you foul out. I didn't touch the ball
last Okay, calm down, we'll review it if the play
is important. If I was a coach and one of
my players did this, I would be like, Okay, we
(02:59):
have to bench you because you're dumb. You think we
don't understand. We have one job over here. It's to
call timeouts and bucking review a few plays. All right,
let's talk about Cleveland. Now, leave it to Cleveland, the
most Cleveland thing in the world. Win games when they
don't matter, and then shit the bed when it does.
You know, you did the best regular season in franchise history.
(03:22):
Go ahead and shove that up your depressing ass. By
the way, when people talk about like Detroit being depressed,
I'm like, are you kidding me? And I know it's
oh it's almost hack talking about how awful Cleveland is.
But you tell me, oh, you can live in Gaza
or Cleveland. I'm picking Gaza every time. Speaking of depressing,
poor Boston, hate him or really hate him. You know,
(03:45):
watching Tatum go down, I was just hoping. I was like, oh,
please be another Paul Pierce shit in his pants scenario.
There's carting you off because there's just shit everywhere. But no, no,
he's done. I have a theory that he wanted to
leave and not be seen in that series because he
(04:06):
was the only good looking fella. If you look at
both those teams, man, are they ugly top the bottom.
I'm not talking about their play. Their play is great,
but physically, man, they are all ugly. Karl Anthony Towns
his posture just walking around. His neck comes out the
front of his torso Jalen Brown's his eyes are too
(04:31):
close together. That seems weird. Thibodeau his You know, you
don't go after another man's hair when you yourself are balding. Well,
you know I did something about mine early on when
it started a thin. I can't imagine if I had
four hairs left, Like I'm gonna hang on to him
(04:52):
and slick them back. That's so weird, especially when you're
a basketball coach where every angle that you're shot at
is from above, Like, can't he doesn't he watch some
game tape and see himself occasionally go oh, that looks horrible.
I should buzz my head. What about Jalen Brunson. I mean,
mister Clutch physically looks like he should work security at
(05:16):
the farmer's market. I've never once seen him crack a smile,
just constant. I'm like, bro, you're you're making millions and
millions of dollars, You're in New York City and you're
the best player. Smile. Nope, guy's got no soul whatsoever.
Who are the other ugly people in that series physically?
I'm just talking about physical appearances. I'm just cutting men apart.
Derek White, men being cruel to men. Derek White, that's
(05:39):
an odd look. Oh uh, I don't know what's wrong
with him. That lineage line looks like it's a little overlapping.
Peyton Pritchard, Oh man, how neat to be sitting in
section three point fifty and get your name called? You're
playing what? I'll just live here and all right here
(06:02):
I go. I mean, if you were to tell me
that he is a world class athlete, I would think, no,
not this guy. By the way, porzingis rarely can you
be you know a lot? Via seven foot whatever and
and be not the ugly duckling somehow he like looks like,
oh he looks. Okay. That just shows you what kind
(06:25):
of monsters that you're surrounded by. And they show the
celebrities and they're ugly, even in New York supposed to
be supposed to be a glamorous city. I'm just looking
at all these old Knicks players. I'm looking at uh,
Spike Lee, Tracy Morgan's on on the court side seat,
just vomiting. What is happening. I mean, come on, let's
(06:49):
get some sex appeal in there. Guys, that's what you
do with your draft pick. You've you've clearly got a
team that can play. Let's get some hunks on the court.
Oh ah, I mean, I know I'm a homer, but
I long for a Dan Marley. Remember how good looking
he was. Oh my goodness, this is a nice tan
(07:12):
on the court looking cool. Yeah. Well, anyway, sorry to Boston, Uh,
but you know you won it all last year. Nobody
feels good. I tell you, this generation of people in Boston,
you know who are are what you might call it, guy,
our buddy, our teamster president said it best. Is this
(07:33):
generation of kids in Boston that grew up with nothing
but winners. They have no idea how bad their parents
had it. Minnesota Golden State. This is tough to watch.
What's the over under on if Draymond takes someone's life.
This is why we got Jimmy Butler for moments like
(07:54):
they said this. They said this constantly when they were
winning meaningless games at the end of the season. I
mean they weren't meaningless to them, but they weren't tough games.
This is why we got Jimmy Butler. And I'm like, guys,
wait till he starts missing at the rim. It's so annoying.
It's constant. I've watched it every play. Oh, he'll just
(08:15):
miss buckets so close. No, not playoff, Jimmy, playoff Jimmy.
Is he helping? You know? They're not saying it now.
They're not saying this is why we brought him here.
Now that the it's like, oh, well, you kind of
need Steph. I meant injuries happen, of course, but you
beat the Warriors without Steph, We're gonna put an asterisk
(08:36):
next to it. That's like saying, you know, in the nineties,
oh we beat the bulls, you beat the Bulls with
Jordan No, no, you know that that year and a
half period where he was playing t ball because his
dad's gambling problem. Oh well, it's not really beating the
Bulls then, is it. My point is, you're not beating
the Warriors if if Steph played every game and finally,
(08:59):
the OKAC Denver, Oh, the Nuggets. My favorite thing to
watch at an OKAC game when they're playing at home
is if the team starts out cold and watching the
fans get winded having to stand until their team makes
the first bucket of the night and they can all
(09:19):
sit down. It's actually nice that that team gives out
T shirts to everyone, because Lord knows their fashion sense
in Oklahoma, Oklahoma might be the only place where people
are buying tickets to the game so that they get
the T shirt. I'm actually positive a lot of the
(09:42):
people show up without a shirt on. They're like, oh, well,
we get a shirt when we get there. You know
why they never do those give outs in La at
a Lakers game because Laker fans aren't gonna put on
a gross T shirt. No one's gonna, oh you want
me to put this thick BFT over my outfit? No,
it's not gonna happen. That's that's cute. I'll give it
(10:06):
to my gardener. I'll let them wash the car with it.
God help us if Denver makes it to the finals again.
I know Djokich is an amazing talent. Great, he's unwatchable.
Djokich might be the least entertaining athlete to watch in
the history of athletes. It's like if you planted a
tree in the middle of the court and waited for
(10:27):
it to grow, and they're like, well, why don't we
give that tree fifty one million dollars a year. I
don't even know if he understands that he's getting paid
that much money, like you probably don't have to pay him.
Maybe thinks these are pickup games and just tons of
people come to watch because it's the us of a Eddie.
(10:48):
Who you think is gonna win Larry O'Brien Trophy? And
I'll give you a million dollars if you can tell
me who the fuck Larry O'Brien is. No, I don't
even know. I don't get the connection. Oh geez, all right,
I have no idea I have I've never I've never
wanted to know. Well, lucky for US. We only have
four more weeks of NBA playoffs. At least it's entertaining.
(11:10):
We got four more weeks and then just MLB and
w n B A and I'm sure I think the
Pickleball Tour picks back up. All right, give me the siren?
Where where shot clock? Okay,
Host
Daniel Tosh
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