The Alligator in the Dolphins' Shower

A live reptile in the coach's bathroom sends the winningest coach in NFL history running half-naked through the team's facility. And later, a prank war escalation leads to a Dolphins player unable to extinguish a crotch fire. No one is safe in Miami. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Trickeration, a production of I Heart Radio. Welcome
back to another episode of Trickeration, the number one podcast
about deception and sports. I'm your host, Matt and this
week we've got not one, not too but three old
school Miami Dolphin tales of deceit, involving feces in the

(00:23):
end zone, an I legally captured alligator, and a cross
fire that refused to be extinguished. A reminder to also
check out the archives. We've got about twenty episodes of
absurdity over there, including what Happens when You Resist Officer
Seaquille O'Neil, the backstory of the Christie Alley Wade Bugs
spring training underwear bet, and an American journalist who snuck
on the ice for a hockey game with Vladimir Putin.

(00:45):
All right, enough shop, talk onto this week show. We've
had a lot of fun. It was the seventies. You
know what they say out the seventies, if you can
remember it, you weren't there. In the early seventies, the

(01:09):
Dolphins were the cream of the NFL. Led by the
winning is the most intense coach Don Shula, Miami made
it to the Super Bowl in seventy two and seventy three,
winning twice. To combat the pressure cooker atmosphere, the dolphin
veterans continually found ways to release steam, starting with nose tackle.
Nanny Fernandez, I think it was nineteen seventy four, but

(01:31):
that same material the year was nineteen seventy three. I
had bought a swamp buggy and this one had a
big Chrysler engine in it. We've run through the Verglades
and we didn't have to report to camp till one

(01:51):
o'clock on Friday, so we'd go out deer hunting and
wild hoag hunting on the swamp buggy. And we were
off running through the glades and we came across what
we call a pond, and this one particular pond had
literally hundreds of alligators and just they were just fresh

(02:15):
in the top of the water everywhere as far as
you could see. How big are some of those alligators. Well,
you've got, you know, a lot of mamasn't a lot
of babies, and the mama is anywhere from six to
ten ft, babies anywhere from two ft to four ft.
Joining Manny on the hunt that day was Eccentric defensive

(02:36):
end Bill Stanfill. He reached down off the platform and
crapped up about the three and a half foot out
and I said, what are you gonna do with that?
First of all, it was illegal. Uh, he said, We're
gonna put it in Sholah shower. Were you worried when

(02:58):
he picked up an alligator? That just seemed like a
regular thing to do when you go through the everglades. No, no,
but it wasn't the regular thing to do. But you
grab it by the tail, he can't turn around and
bite you. M Of course, we had driven out there

(03:25):
in my car, had the alligator in the trunk of
my car and had his mouth takes shut. And we
went back to training camp for one o'clock meeting. And
we got there, got inside and found the equipment manager,
Danny Doll, and asked Danny if he would mind while
we were out of practice getting the alligator out of
the trunk and putting it in Coach shula shower Force

(03:46):
Coach Shula had his own private shower next to his
office at the team facility. So anyway, we go out
to practice. When we come in and went saw and
did you get the gator? He says, no, no, no, no, no,
what do you mean why not? He said, oh, I
can see was its tail. It was behind your spare tire.
And I said, I told you the mouthless take shot.
And he says, yeah, and I believe you. Future Hall

(04:07):
of Famer Larry's anka was tapped to be Manny's partner
in crime. I needed somebody to extrapped Shula's secretary and
sat right in front of the door to his office
and Larry went in ahead of me and got her
looking for something in the foul cabinet. I slipped right
behind him, put it in the shower, came right back out.

(04:31):
We started laughing. We thought this was gonna be great.
He and I left and went and got a couple
of beers. Coach Shula used to leave at seven sharp
to go to dinner with his wife and Friday night,
So we came back a little after seven and came
in the equipment, run through the back door and borrowed
some of Danny's beer. Well that night, Coach Shula, after

(04:55):
he got done with the quarterbacks, he opened that shower door.
That was it. He grabbed the towel out the door,
he ran and Shula ran all the way down the
hallway out into the parking lot where or nothing to
put a towel, screaming and yelling horse it in their flesh,
and I look up and they're shore was standard in

(05:16):
the doorway going. I knew it was you. We denied it,
denied it the next meeting. The next day, Coach did
bring it up and said he was going to get
to the bottom of who did it. I got a
good idea, but I'm going to prove it, and you're
gonna pay for this. Sheula never could prove it, and

(05:38):
for decades, the culprits behind the gator in the shower
remained in the shadows. Some thirty years later, at his
ninety birthday party proceeding the game where we were being
honored as being named the number one team in NFL history,
we got together and presented him with a stuffed alligator.

(06:00):
I don't know who came up with the idea, but
it was a big hit, and with Sula the kind
of guy who could take a joke or that wasn't
in his d n A. He could take a joke,
and that's in part why we did it. But yeah,
was he stern absolutely to be pulling pranks like this.
It sounds like you guys weren't afraid of him, though.
What's to be afraid of? I mean, if he didn't

(06:22):
like me, he could trade me. When you're playing for
thirty thousand a year, what was to fear? I could
draw the truck and make thirty thousand and not get hit.
And what role does this kind of stuff play? Was
this a pressure release? Was this kind of stuff that
helped you guys come together off the field? Oh? Yeah, absolutely.
There were practical jokes happening in the dormitories and in

(06:46):
the locker room constantly. We were having fun. We have
a lot of memories, so we talked about a lot
of them. A lot of them we can't share. Ye.
Shula was named the coach of the nineteen seventies All
Decade Team, but in the eighties, the on field winning

(07:08):
and off field antics continued. When hard hitting safety Lyle
Blackwood left his family's fried chicken joint in Texas to
join the team. No one was safe with the Dolphins.
There was always something going on with the Dolphins. I
did have a few pranks and tricks and things that
coach has gotten mad at me for. Uh, I wouldn't

(07:30):
have taken this call if shooting was still alive, he
might roll over in his grave. It was our normal
Friday practice, and usually the managers pick up the actual
footballs and everything and get him back into the scrimmage.
And uh, there was a ball that went to the
side and I picked it up. Lo and behold there
was a fresh pile of dog poop in the end zone.

(07:53):
And so, you know, I had to use that. I
had to get somebody. So I went over there and
I just blightly put the ball down, impressed it a
little bit to cover it up, and then I just
walked away. And I was waiting for somebody to go
over and pick it up, you know, and twile it
around and get the dog crap on their hands and everything.
But that never did happen. And so the whistle blew,

(08:16):
and so we got in the huddle and I looked
back and I went, oh, my gosh, and Sheila was
the only one back there, and I could see that
ball over there, and everybody was kind of looking out
of the shoulder, and I said, the ball still there.
And she looks back there and look, I said, look,
he's walking toward it. And we all turned around and
she looked. I picked up the ball, and you know,
you pick up the ball and you want to play
with you you're kind of twirling it in there, and

(08:37):
then you throw it up in there and twist it
and then you bring it back down in your hands.
Well he did that, and when he did, he saw
he had dog poop all very minute. He just threw
it down and and I know he was he had
like a twenty two out of his eyes. I could
feel him on the back of my neck. But anyway,
that that was one of the ones that worked out

(08:59):
the way I didn't wanted to work out. But everybody
was laughing, but I'm sure Coach Shield was not laughing.
One of Lyle's teammates found out the hard way that
Blackwood was not a guy you wanted to get into
prank war with. It's always a classic when you put
white heat and the jock, and everybody knew that that

(09:22):
was gonna happen. Every year. Somebody was gonna come up
and do that. When they did the laundry, they put
the laundry back in your locker, washing everything. But one
thing you always did is before you ever put your
jock on, you would always smell it. White heat was
a training room staple a topical bomb used to relieve
muscle pains, and that white he was just extra extra strong.

(09:43):
It would burn anything. Robert Soul was a defensive back.
I think Roberts passed away. He's a really good guy,
nice guy. Before practice on my helmet, he put something
on the back that was derogatory. And I went out
at the practice and everything everybody was laughing at me.
I went, what And then I turned around and then

(10:04):
uh took my home and office. So what it was?
And Robert goes, I got too good, and I go, well,
your's will come yours are from So the next day
we had special teams meeting and then you went outside
right after special team when we went outside and we
walked through all of our special teams for a pregame.
And so it just so happens that Robert was late
that day, and so I put white heat in his

(10:26):
jock and didn't put his bag in his locker, and
everything all nice and meat like you've ever been disturbed,
and if you're late, you're gonna get fined. He was
hurrying to put on everything. He grabbed his bag and
everything and grabbed his jockey. Didn't smell it and he
put it on. He went, oh, and one of the
things you don't do when you've got white heat on you,
you don't get in and put water on it. That's

(10:47):
like gas on the fire. And then we heard him
go into the shower and there from the room where
Sheila was and was up trying to talk to everything,
you could hear Robert going oh ah. And we were
all giggling and everything, and we all went into the
special Teams meeting and the coaches turned the projector on.

(11:08):
We looked at the door and there was the silhouette
at the door. So he came waddling in like one
leg at a time, but down towards his waist we
saw two big lumps and those were ice bags that
Robert was holding on the east side of his nuts.
And uh, every time he moved he went a h

(11:28):
and he walked across the film projector and he finally
sat down at his desk and he was going, it
was hurting so bad. And I go on, sorry, coach Shula, Robert,
why don't you go on and go into the training room.
And so when the meeting breaks, I rushed out of
the meeting and rushed into the training room, and I

(11:50):
turned around the corner and there was Robert and he
was laying on the training table. He had one of
those boards that pregnant women usually get to in their
knees and then they spread their legs, you know, for
the baby come out. But Robert had both of his
legs spread eagles. He had two ice bags, one on
the right, one on the left, and he was holding
his packer in his hand and he was dabbing the

(12:14):
end of his penis. It was dabbing into vasoline, and
then he was dabbing the hole in there. I guess
he thought he was getting some relief. And we were
all holing everything, and I said, Robert, I said, I'm sorry.
I said, I didn't know who's gonna be this bad.
And so anyway, we went out to practice, and so
we were back over behind the offense standing watching. Then

(12:37):
Robert comes walking out and he's walking pretty brisk. I said, Robert,
how you feeling better in there? He goes, yeah, he goes,
but I really didn't like what they put on me.
And I said, well, what's that? And so he pulls
down his breeches and they'd taken a surgical glove and
put a bunch of vasoline in it and taped it
onto his packer. Robert was well endowed, and so it was.

(13:01):
It was carving a lot of area. And when he
pulled down his pants, the hand came out and started
bobbing up and down, and we all just started died.
Laught tore me a new one for that, but I
really don't regret one bit. A big thanks to Manny

(13:28):
Fernandez and Lyle Blackwood for the stories and to the
Miami Dolphins for helping to facilitate these interviews. Also a
thank you to listener Doug Payjack for suggesting the gator tail.
If you have ideas for future episodes, please email the
tip line at Trickeration Nation at gmail dot com. Would
love to hear from you. And if you're liking the show,
please take a minute to rate and review on iTunes

(13:49):
and share the podcast with like minded friends who might
get a kick out of this kind of thing. And finally,
as we do every week, we check in with the
legend Chris Matt, Doug Russo, Chris, how do we do
this week? Maddie? Good job, keep up to do to
lurk P. Thanks Chris, all right, talk to you guys
next week. Triggeration is a production of I heart Radio.

(14:11):
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