March 18, 2025 • 37 mins
The moms are spinning wild stories in this week's fresh episode! First up, Jiggy spills on the craziest sights from his old front desk job, while Steve dishes on his latest food obsessions: sushi burritos and his not-so-favorite pico de gallo, dubbed "pico de gross-o." Later, Steve dives into his passion for space and shares a charming tale about his son's persuasive pitch for a family cat.
As they tackle listener questions, the mommies debate the essential items for surviving a deserted island and chat about an unexpected roommate situation. Laughter is non-stop, especially when Steve can't contain his. Catch all the fun in this brand new episode of Two Cool Moms!
See Joe on Tour - www.joegattoofficial.com
See Steve on Tour - https://punchup.live/steve-byrne
Follow Two Cool Moms:
Instagram: @twocoolmomspod
Twitter: @twocoolmomspod
TikTok: twocoolmomspod
Youtube: joe_gatto
Subscribe to Two Cool Moms: Subscribe
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/781ttQe...
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...
Follow Joe Gatto:
Instagram: @joe_gatto
TikTok: @the_joe_gatto
Twitter: @joe_gatto
Follow Steve Byrne:
Instagram: @stevebyrnelive
YouTube: stevebyrnec
TikTok: @stevebyrnecomedy
Twitter: @stevebyrnelive
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everybody, thanks for watching this week's episode. We want
to promote where you can see us.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
For tickets, go to Joe gattoofficial dot com and see
all my door dates.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
For Steve's go to punch Up dot Live backslash Steve
hyphen Burn.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
That's beat y R.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I need. He makes it soper easy to find him.
And now onto the episode. There was a problem.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Wear a ticket, my.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hold on, I'm gonna fix my fat.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right, thank you for coming to two cool moms.
Comed they didn't come anywhere. They're listening to it.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I try.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Thanks listening to two cool moms. I'm Joe Gatto, your
favorite mom.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
I'm your second favorite mom.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I said it first, so I guess so yeah, you
didn't think to say it.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
I'm the mom you want to go too, but at
an obligation. Because Joe said your first favor of mom,
You're gonna go to Joe first. But you know where
the goods are true.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
If we had a mom off, what do you think
would win you and I? You make a good chicken pecada, so.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You could cook I could cookm off. So let's all
let's hit all the tropes of moms.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
They cook well, okay, we're both good cooks. Tie there,
okay giving advice, we're both fantastic, okay, keeping a secret.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Fantastic shave legs.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
You you crush that, I.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Win, so that's plus one.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Yeah, you shave your pits too.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
You're a hairless so it's uneven.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Cats, can I tell you? Okay, look, we're all on.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
The road right, so wait, there's people listening to Buddy,
So let's I'm I gonna.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Have to No, no, this is not You don't have
to worry about this one. Okay. So I finished my
show this this past weekend, and I didn't eat dinner.
I was so hungry. I go to yard House, it's
right there below my hotel. I order an avocado toast
and a nice soup, and I'm so excited to just
get to my room, throw some Netflix on and eat
(01:59):
my food and crash out. So my friend Steve is
with me, and no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I think I just found the title of the episode. God. Sorry, no.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
So the the elevator, there's three elevators. Okay, the door
opens and as it's opening, I'm seeing feet and I
see legs and somebody's I was laying down and it
opens and then I see a gut and I see
a man laying there, and then there's just a pool
of vomit. Oh no, and the door opens and he
(02:42):
goes ah, and we were like eh. So then I
go to the lobby and I hit the door again
and the door shuts. I'm like, oh my god, that
was so disgusting. I'm like, oh, I put my food down.
I'm like, I don't know if I can eat again.
So like I'm thinking, okay, let's just give it a second.
I go, okay, let's just hit the thing again. I
hit the thing. Wait for the fucking again. There's three
(03:02):
fucking elevators, fucking same door. Geez, and then he looks
like he goes ah and we go and then the
door shuts again. I can't go in to hit the
button because the puke is all over by the set.
I can't even go in and set him set them up.
But you're thinking, these things go up all the time
(03:23):
and down, So all right, let's just give it another
like forty seconds. I'll hit something. One of these other
elevators gotta come right. So I hit it a third time.
Fucking the fucking ging. It's like the lights turning. He
was like, oh, and I'm fuck. So then the doors shut.
Three other people come over. Okay, the like these three
(03:44):
women are coming up and uh oh God, so they're
over here.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
She hits the.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Button and I'm like turning around praying. I'm like praying
one of these other doors is going to open. The
door opens, I go, girls don't. And then one girl
starts walking in. She goes ah, and then guy goes ah.
So everybody's like aweing at each other. And then and
then it was just like it was the fourth time.
The elevator goes and these girls are disgusted, they're taught,
(04:13):
they're having the conversation we just had now. So I'm like,
all right, give it thirty seconds. Let's hit and pray
to God there's no stairs. You can't take the stairs
otherwise I wanted to walk there eight floors and so
I hit the thing. Finally one of the other doors opens,
and I was like, how funny would it be of
it opened? And he was like, ah, but I've never
(04:35):
experienced that the experience of that guy just needed help
right now, I know, I know, it's like, ah, help, Meg,
Like hell, why won't you help me like somebody else women.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Poor fellow's probably still there. Well he was alive, Okay,
that's good.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
And once I knew he was alive, I was like, okay,
I'm not going to get in the middle of this.
As soon as I got to my room, I called
the front desk and I said, there's there's a portly
Asian man who booted all over your elevator.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
The log Steve Burn. Oh no, no, no, that's you.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
The woman on the phone goes, not again.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
God, yeah, poor fellow.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
They must see some crazy shit.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Forget a hotel front desk. People in general you could
probably talk to as well.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You know our boy here, Mark before he became world
famous comedian, Mark ga Guardian.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
And not just at any hotel, No, he was at
the Ritz. Carlton, I believe we're not talking Lakina.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
No, I'm not talking about a Hampton.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
We're not even talking to Mario.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Shot in your mouth.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
If you're talking to me about a red roof crew,
I don't want to hear yourself. Listen, you could take
your fucking Kempton in.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
And shove it straight up your ass sideways. Because also,
thank you to our spending sponsor.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Did you so you worked at the Ritz, Carlton, Was
that your first first front desk experience?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Never worked at front desk?
Speaker 4 (05:58):
You got the Ritz, I got the you got the
writs out of the gates at the gates. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Well, I was a cabanda boy for at the Universal
Studios Hotels, which clearly my resume was looking great.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
They put you on the rits. You were putting on
the red the Ritz.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
How many hours? How many years at the Ritz?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:17):
I think like three or four at the front desk?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Okay, first question, combat boy, commanda boy. Never knew this
about you? You did it? No idea? Were you getting proposition?
Like in the movies like Secret of My Success and
all those things. Those eighty films were like you know,
the young college kid, the cougar, the husband's off at
the golf course, anything all from the wrong people. You
(06:43):
got vibes, but nothing.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Part of my job, which was I used to love
it was every hour there was like an amenity that
would have to go out to all the guests by.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
The pool, cold cowl, a little bit of juice.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Like a little smoothie, chilled cucumbers. Then there would be
my favorite was the evy on missed spray, so every
on the water that's a cold water miss. So I'd
had to go up to these ladies and go, can
I interest you in a cool refreshing miss that be nice?
And everyone who took out, everyone who wanted it was disgusting.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Mark would go he hit the button to be like,
do you want to miss?
Speaker 5 (07:21):
I think my husband Gary wants it too, and I'm like,
oh Gary, to get so bad.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
They are so close to these people.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
But yeah, so I used to like that though, giving
out the amenities and you know, I have to work
the slide make sure people don't get injured the slide,
but yeah, it was fun.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
So at the front desk, though, what was one of
the crazier things you've seen? You must have seen some crazy, man,
I saw crazy.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
A lot of stuff was from international folks who would
come into the city.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
There's many you.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Know, obviously different customs and people do different things. But
the a lot of the Middle Eastern delegations who would
come in for like the un stuff. They would get
these thousand and fifteen hundred dollar a night rooms before
literally a goat.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
I saw that.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
Multiple times, Like they'd be like we need a room
for a goat.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
And so you me and Lebron James the goat.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Yeah, you have a real animal goat and what And
then halfway through their stay, the goat would not be
there anymore, and that would be dinner.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Whoa, yeah, where would they goat it?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
They would go to in the room.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
No, So like a lot of these delegations would come
in with their own private chefs. So all the princes
and princesses would have like their own chef in the hotel.
So the hotel would never serve them any food you
would get. They would have their own private chef and wing.
And then they would cook all the food that would
go up like cook a certain way.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah, that's crazy. So they would bring their own goats
and that that would be their dinner because.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
The wouldn't want to procure, so the goats weren't flown in.
Though they probably procure the groat. The goat stateside, they don't.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Like probably, yeah, But they would bring everything in. So
a lot of them would refurnish the entire rooms, stripped
the rooms completely, a friendsure, the furniture right, yeah, And
then they would do complete remodeling because they would stay
for months at a time. So with goats, Well, you
mean like the delegations would strip the rooms.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Of all of our furniture.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Their own hole furniture.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Oh really yeah, I saw that all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah, I guess the biggest tips.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Tips for check ins.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
Oh well, I give this to you one of my
one of the people spend a lot of money on hotels,
and they don't realize. They think that everything should be entitled.
I will I want an upgrade, give me an upgrade.
I'm this status whatever. And the best advice is that
if you take one twentieth of your room night's day
and tip the front desk, they'll you're you're in forever.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
So, like, for example, you stay at like a nice
hotel or even a good hotel, and you tip the
front desk twenty thirty forty fifty bucks like you are
in their mind for your entire stay. You have an
ally in the hotel. So it's much better just to
like have you know, if you're gonna spend four hundred
dollars a night or room, or seven hundred dollars a
night room, just allocate an extra fifty bucks when you
check in, and you'd be blown away.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
How much.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
You stand out because like only one maybe two people
a day will do that, and those people.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Who do that give it.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Like at a high end like a Ritz, there's amenities
that will go a long way, right, But if you're
like at a Marriott, what does it matter? It probably
does like a lot of.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Water on the on the road. I'll pillage the I'll
pillage the front. Well I've seen you. Yeah, I just
pillage at a shop.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I fill my pockets with M and ms and whatnots
and like like you didn't see anything, and I want.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
You always tip. I do you tip front desk drivers?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yes, all of it. Yeah, you're like Jude, he's a
big thing, but he always do I always do it
before the service. There's a lot of people don't realize that. Yeah,
like what a what a valet? I always tip them
on the drop off. You don't tip them when you
pick it up.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
They're done?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
What your car right?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Right?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I always drop them off. I always put them up
in the beginning. I think it's important. But at the
front desk one does go away because you'll be like
they'll look it's stuff that you won't even think of.
They're like, all right, I'll give you maybe I gotta
have a corner suite that works blah blah, or maybe
I'll give you a room that's kind of not as
far down the whole, closer to the elevator so it's
easy to get to, or things like that. That they're
looking at their whole inventory. I'll notice right away when
you tip somebody, they'll take them a second to check
(11:07):
you in instead of just being like, oh, here's a room,
like w look all right, and then they look through
the inventory.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
You'll get that a lot, which is nice.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
This is like vacation advice too, Like I think that
this is what.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I wrong with the family. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I break them off hard when I got the kids
because I know, like we're gonna need do you have
beach choys?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Instead of being like, oh, the gift shops right here,
they're like, we got some that they use, like stuff
like that. That always works.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
It's smart to I don't do that. I was tip
after before, tip before. That's smart.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Yeah. The hope by tip after is housekeeping. Housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
A lot of times too, when I check out, I
let them know I just because it's fun for me.
I'll walk by they're like, oh, like some action for
you inside on the night stand.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
What does that even mean?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
That means they're like thank you and then and it's
a tense spot with a note thanks.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
But you've always been a good tipper?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, I do. I learned it from my dad. I
think my dad was always a tipper.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Yeah, speaking of somebody that doesn't jig, we have.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Any questions on the request line, Matt hits us up.
He says, I'm down to my last of my savings
after looking for work for a while. If you were
down to your last month's worth of money in the bank,
what job would you look for to get by?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
We've been there, been there for sure.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
I mean restaurants, restaurant in retail, right, restaurant in retail.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Those those two spots I think you can find probably
the quickest turnaround. So I would say go to those
those two places. But I would even say, now though
they're gonna hit you now, I'm gonna give you a
nowish one that wasn't around with me.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And you would back in there in the pedlin.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
What I would say, uber or door dash, Oh, that's yeah,
I would probably do that. I'll probably jump in. If
you don't have a car, you kind of aft, but
I would do you know, if if you have a car,
I would probably do.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Uber and or door Dash.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
God blessed door Dash and Uber eats.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
God bless them guys.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Because Uber's one thing. It's one they'ing going to drive somebody.
It's the thing to get there, Grab the food. Do
I have all the utensils? Hall ass back? They paid extra.
It's gotta be hot first. Can't let the pizza slide.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
This traffic move. I gotta get this, I gotta get this.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Yeah, anxiety terrible.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Why not just work for like a Dominoes? Well, you know,
we deliver and every time.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Bang it out.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
If you had to, like, is that more?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Well, I guess there's only one person, the higher. I
guess that's why I just answered my own question. I
was a dumb question, but.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I always I always worked in a restaurant where it's
like I'd like to eat here.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
You like also, you like to eat everywhere everywhere. You
know what I call a finicky eater, buddy. I've seen
you eat golf. We dropped the floor if you had
some whisky, true story, dropped a ham sandwich, was like, it's.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
All right, it's true. Inflation now it's a it's a
seven second rould to.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
But yeah, anything with anxiety, anything that.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
What was the thing that you were would tell you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
We're so excited about it was like a sushi Brita, Yes,
the sushi marilla.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
It was garbage.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, it was garbage.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
It wasn't even good that.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You're like, guys, I got a sushi burritos.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
I said down for this one. Oh yeah, yeah, you
didn't like it. No, we all hated it. Yeah, it
was so funny.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
We ripped into you for it was you sold it
so hard. You're like, guys, it's a sushi burrito. Like
that's two words that shouldn't.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Go think about it, warm tortilla, cold fish one kids in.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
But here's the thing, Like anybody else's like, it's okay,
or that was good, or here's Joe disgusting it.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
You bought it too for the joke. I threw it
against the wall in my suite. We were eating my
sweet I took you all, I got a sushi burritos.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Like really, they're probably like that sucks it out. They're
probably they're gonna be great. We took about like disgusting bag.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
It hit them sauce and salmon.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Salta and salmon together, it is disco. He could the
girl picked the girls.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
The girl next question what this from? Do we answer it?
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
It was like, what would you do for a job?
Speaker 4 (15:14):
You said, Oh, I work in a restaurant.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Uh, Lisa asks, what was your dream job as a kid.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Oh, I wanted to be an architect growing up? Yeah,
I loved like mister Brady. I didn't even know architect
right now, that's right. He only didn't build very impressive
things though.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, I would say I was saying an architect when
I was little, But I don't know if that was
my dream job where I really liked it. But if
I have like my dream job when I was younger,
I wanted to create video games. I used to pretend
that I could in a notebook and I used to
convince Jason Joseph. I used to convince Jason Joseph that
I knew code and I used to write like letters
(15:53):
and number create this thing.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, I remember that, and I was like, this is
how you make him jump?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
And I would like write X equals fourteen whatever and
Jason's like what, like yeah, Because he had a Tandy
computer and we used to play the game.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
You probably could have probably could.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Have given your background as an athlete.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, I probably could I go if I got into it,
But I never took that. Yeah, I never took that.
I never went down that pack.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
How old are you at this time?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Twelve thirteen? Okay, Yeah, I took coding in high school.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
We had computer lab right, and you were able to
like learn basic I think that was a command.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
It was called right.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
You had to write all this stuff and you would
be able to write code, and it would be able
to like to loop, like you would write in a number,
would do math.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
You'd write these programs, and I was like, oh, that
was really cool.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So a computer science would probably be a different There's
probably a bizarro Joe out there that does computer science
and creates video games. I would that would probably be
my dream job. I would even love that now for
my reality.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
Looking back, if I had a dream job, I would
go into gender studies. When we were growing up, because
there were only two at the time. What was I
to I.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Don't know what was your dream job? Stupid, We're not
let to do comedy. You kids do comedy. Just make
it funny.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Sorry, Sorry that joke was so bad.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Now now we keep it in. Now we keep it in.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
That's all back, astronaut, For sure.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I was because it's a real space cadet. It's lin
uh oh yeah, awesome.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
You like space, love space. I got like calendars and
cut them all up and put the pictures all over. Yeah.
I wanted. But you have to be good at science.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
You said, you've got calendars.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
I had these NASA calendars and I would cut the pictures
out of.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
It's like it's like a it's like a swimsuit edition
for the Insta.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It's like buzzle put a face on me, a Lomstrong
on a couch and a firm.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
I was obsessed. Yeah, I don't know. Actually, it's so
funny about what did you what?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
You were a fucking campanda.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Boy? Would you look amissed? We would you dreaming about
the stars? You're you're you're spraying down on the Jewish retiring.
Yeah you want a miss with your pelado, mister Schwartz
bug the fuck?
Speaker 5 (18:18):
What were the what were the images that you put
on your.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
That's all interesting, all the different planets, And.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
You made fun of me for writing code.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
But I always thought it was like it was like
the the outfits were cool, like the the space suits
were cool.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Okay, I'm going to you a true or false? Okay,
true false, tru false.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
You had in your room the glow and dark star stickers.
Remember those when they put them up? My dad was
so mad because I put them on.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
My Then they shred your ceilings because my kids have it.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Now you're stupid all you give it to your kids?
Same set or no this? Yeah, I wanted to be
an astronaut. Does your son?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Does your son cut out pictures of grown men bang
them on the wall in astronaut outfits? You think he
died was made about the stars. He was like he
was giving you playboys. He was like a whole session
called splash Down.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
No, no, no, my son is uh, he's he's all,
he's all Mandalorian.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Really, my son is obsessed with space loves I love space. Yeah,
but uh he likes your son. If you if your
kids dream jougs, what are your kids leaning towards? Like
Malana wants to be a DJ or a veterinarian and
Remo wants.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
To be uh uh I think is stay at home son.
I don't know what he is.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
No, Remo is gonna be awesome. Whatever he's gonna be,
can tell you can just like this kid's gonna he's
got it. He's got it. Yeah. My daughter, I don't know.
She does soccer. She's twelve, right, she's yeah, twelve.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
She's not talking about long term.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
I think she mentioned architecture one time, but there was
there was like two or three years ago she said
maybe I'll be a teacher. It's like there's no money
in that. Totally up front with her. But my son,
my son has mentioned veterinarian once or twice, and I think.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
It's a big kid one nowadays vets.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, I don't remember growing up, when we were growing up,
I don't remember kids want to be veterinarians. But I
feel like, now you go to that bullshit do you
go to the bullshit one of your school?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
The kids, the kids stupid.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Fucking play where we're making a community and yeah, everybody
has to pick a job. There's like forty seven veterinarians
now really, yeah, like there was just so many. During
the song they come up and they sing.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Like we heal cats and dogs. Don't forget about ponies
and dogs. Veterinarians go back. It's so dumb, but there
was like so many veterinarians.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Yea, my son is my daughter got a cat. So
my son's like, can I get a dog? And Jess
just puts the kabash because she's like, I don't have
the time.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
She's gonna dad.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It's all on you guys, and you're not responsible. And
we did a thing where we had a trial run.
We had a dog living with us for a week,
foster whatever our neighbors left, and so for the first
four days the kids were loving it. The third day
they're just like out over it.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
I don't want to walk the dog.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
And I'm like, fuck, I'll walk the dog. So they
got over it pretty quickly. So that was a great
lesson a responsibility. But my son now is like, I
want a cat? Can I get a kitten? And you know,
cats are so much easier than dogs, just the litter
and the food.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
So it's sustaining a bit more, especially for children.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Yeah, we could leave town for six days and it's fine,
but my wife is like, why don't you put on
a presentation of why you think you deserve a cat?
So great, so he put together a PowerPoint presentation which
he slides and he put the titles up and everything,
and literally the first line he says, he goes, uh,
he goes, this is my presentation why kent me would
(21:37):
be the perfect kid for a kitten.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
He's got it.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
And I was like, that's not bad. That's it.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
It's not bad, man, same thing.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
He's got it, man, I said Jess. I looked at her.
I was like, you got to do it now. So
she's picking up a kit and for him on a Wednesday, Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Really, no idea.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
And every day he's come home from school since that presentation,
he has asked every single day as soon as he
puts his knapsack down, you guys look into the kitten
or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I hope it's the first day he doesn't ask and
you have it.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Ah, great, Yeah, you should hold that cat like hide
it until then, just put it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Just smother, rich, smarter. We have a cat in my house.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
You have a cat.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
My in laws have a cat.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I never knew that a cat.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I've seen it.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Five times in my home. It's lived in two separate
houses with me, I swear on my mother. I've seen
it five times. It's lived in two different houses. It
used to hide in Lindbrook us to hide underneath the
bed and never saw it. And then now it lives
in there like little room, sweet thing because we have
all the dogs and it just lives there, sits in
their window.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Well, let me let me say this. The one thing
about this kitten. We've seen pictures of it, and it's
a really it's a kitten. It's cute, right, I met it,
never met it. So my wife is going Wednesday morning,
like make sure everything's okay whatever, And the woman's like, oh,
it's very friendly, it's very cuddly. It likes to cuddle.
So I think kettle like that. And then she sent
us a video of the kitten and the kitten sitting
(22:58):
down and just looking at the camera and then gets
walks away and its tail is like that fucking long.
It's like got the tail of like a spider monkey.
And I was like, what the fuck is that? And
I don't know, just I don't know. There's something off
now to me about the kitten, Like it's weird. I've
never seen a tail that long on a cat in
my life. Does it grow into the tail, It's gonna
(23:20):
be a fucking snow leopard. It's massive it's gotta be.
It's if the kitten's this big, the tails like that big.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
You have to see these dummies, these videos with people
like I thought it was a kitten and it's like
a panther videos.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
They're out there just a huge oh they like we
found we found this puppy. It's a fox, like you know,
like I saw this one this woman, like we thought
it was a black cat, it was a panther.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I thought it was a ra turns out it's a
sea otter. It's like, what the fuck, Well it's a raccoon.
But yes, and they always get attacked, always always get attacked.
It's like you deserve it. This is it's a fucking wolf, lady.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It's a wolf, but it's my wolf.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
And you see those videos those guys that are like, oh,
I rescued this a lion when it was a baby
and it comes full speed at them and attack.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
How do you know what's going that way? And that's
gonna hug you and not rip your face.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
You were never a cat person, just all dogs.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
My best friend next door had a cat named grey
Bar who looked like the cat from Pet Cemetery, and
I saw a pet cemeterary and it freaked me out.
And then I had grey Bar across the street from me,
and grey Bar lived up to the hype, like he
used to sit in the window and watch me like
he really one of those He was creepy as shit.
So I never really got accustomed to cats. That being said,
C's got a bunch of cats. I love his cats
(24:48):
when I'm at his house with pet his cats, like,
I don't mind cats at all, and I mind being
around them.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
If I have to pick between the two, I love.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
To have a dog.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I have an infinity for dogs more than cats. I'm
not a cat hater. I'm not one of those people
that love dogs hate cats. But if I between the two,
will definitely have a better experience with you.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
If I had a stable job, I'd love to have
a dog. I love that one.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I just see all these stable job meaning you don't
think it'll be working.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I'm just just like if I was home like, and
I don't want to be that douche that like, there's
guys that bring it everywhere every time, bring it on stage.
It's like relax, relax, No, no, no, that's not you. You bring
it on occasion you did still not lie that. No,
there's three three comics. I could tell you right now,
I could give you one initial and I can't say
(25:31):
that it drives me nuts. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Sorry, let's move on, Steve.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
What was the question?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I forget? Do we answer it?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Oh? What was your dream job?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Dream job was good? Yeah? We did great. There that's
a great tedgent. We followed that one.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
We follow that one down the right sun got a kitten.
There we go. I answered it.
Speaker 5 (25:49):
Okay, next question we have comes from Rachel. I found
out my boyfriend hooked up with one of my friends
before we started dating. I'm not mad at him, but
I'm struggling with hanging out with my friends and him together.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Now.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
Is it a jealousy issue on me? How can I
coexist knowing this happened with my friends and him.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Well, you just.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Can't picture him doing things, you know, physically to your FRIENDE.
Once you get past that hurdle, you knowing that they
had emotional ties, but that he pleasured her, you know,
with his tongue or his face in between his face
was in between her legs at some.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Point, just shut out to think about that. Yeah, I
think that's gonna be the best Once you.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Get past that, it's fine. What's the next question?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I think you know it's hard, but everybody has a pass.
But when the past is thrown in your face by
them being around you, that's different, right, you know, right, yeah,
because like everybody's had made love or sweet tenderness to
someone earlier before you everywhere, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Besides, if you're somebody's first moan, but that's far.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Somebody's been in somebody's mouth.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Someone has been There's been mouths involved.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
There's mouths and units us.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
And parts involved. That's what we're saying.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So I think the takeaway here is if they're not
looking at each other like longingly, try to move on.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I mean it was in the past exactly.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Fluids have been exchanged, right, This is all the same
things we're saying. Yeah, they've been together, not speaking, but grunting.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
From this, they know how each other grunts, and that's
really the thing to take away from here.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I think that the hardest part of it all is
that you have to see them in the same room
at the same time.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Here's where it gets tricky. If like the two of
them are in a room and you're there and they say,
would you mind holding a camera like, that's where it
gets they.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Asked you to be excuses them for a minute, That's
where it gets odd, like you should probably that's where
the antennas go up.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I don't think we're helping this person very much.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
If she looks at you and and looks at your
boyfriend and winks and goes like just get over it.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Or just goes I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I think the hardest part I'm trying to think when
I was coming up and I was in high school,
we definitely all circulated the same group of guys and girls.
The friend groups always made out with different ones at
different times. Some became girlfriend's long term boyfriends. That definitely happened.
We weren't being super intimate, but it was definitely hooking up,
making out whatever. So with those times when we were
(28:13):
hanging out, it didn't necessarily bother each other or anybody.
I don't think. I think we were all still just
all friends coexisting. I think it gets weirder with the
length of time that people dated and the intensity of
the relationship is they were like hardco a boyfriend girlfriend
for a year and a half and they then it
was like a messy breakup and stuff that makes it hard.
But if they hooked up after a bar when they
(28:34):
were drunk once or twice, like, that's a different story, right, Yeah,
So I think you need to You don't want to
ruin a friendship that doesn't need to be ruined because
of your insecurities. I there's nothing to be insecure about
it if you again, security from your partner and your
friend isn't given you any indication and it was more
than anything than just a hookup. Don't ruin those two
relationships based on insecurity, is my true advice.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Right, Yeah, you're probably reading more into it than is there,
because if there was something there to your point, you
would pick up on it your social cues. But also,
if they were to be together, they'd be together.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
You're not, and right, they've chosen not to be together.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Yeah, he's invested his time in you, so you need
to trust that and honor it and go with it.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, you don't want to throw away something for no reason.
That's the biggest point.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And then also everybody in this situation is aware of it,
So why isn't it being spoken about?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Like it's got to be one of those things where
like if you're having a thing, or something comes up
on your radar, you should either talk to your close
friend about something that came up on the radar because
of her, or your boyfriend because of someone chemical.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
I am to your point though, It just comes down
to security. What are you contributing to this? What are
you doing to yourself?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, everybody's been with somebody before too. This person just
happens to be in your life.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Exactly, nailed it, Joe, that was great.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
That's way better. Wow, we started off rocky, but we
got there. I still think the first part was also
very helpful.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Sophia asked, this is on what would for each of you?
What would be the three items that you'd bring with
you to a desert island?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Three items so you can't be a person that has
to be an item right?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
A plane so I could leave right like immediately, Like
that's the stupid I need one item. A plane.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I bring a plane, so I could leave a boat,
just a boat in case the plane doesn't work, I
can grab the boat and make it like a cruise
ship so I could have some fun on it. I
bring a plane, I bring a cruise ship, and I
bring the satellite phone.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
So I could call for help if both other ones
don't work. Those are my.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Three things those carry on items. Carry on.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Let's play her game the way she wants to be played.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Okay, I would definitely bring, first and foremost a deck
of cards.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Really need some sort of entertainment. Cards are so much fun, endless,
endless possibilities.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
When it comes cards, you can make a card games.
You could play the game ones. You know, I probably
bring a.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Knife that I would need a knife. I would need
a knife.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
I love I would love nothing more than see you.
And like one of those shows alone. Like I wake
up in the morning, I'm naked, wake up.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Every every morning in my life is naked, afrae. When
I wake up, I'm surrounded by animals. I'm naked afraid.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
She's saying cards.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I would definitely say car knife.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I think I would need a knife. Right, You're gonna
need a knife. Yeah, I don't know what I would
do with it, but I wouldn't need it. And then
maybe like, uh, a jacket.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
It's kind of gay cold at night, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Right, I need a blanket, probably a black probably a duvet,
a blanket. I bring a big blanket and I just
want blanket, a duvet because at night it's the islands.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
So I know I'm going to be stranded out on
an island.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Yes you know.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
So I'm gonna bring a firestarter, one of those fire starters.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
You canna read, pimple.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
It was like a little flip. It was like a
little flip.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
That's entertainment.
Speaker 4 (31:57):
No, I bring those little flint starters where I can,
I could start a fire. Bring a pair of shoes
because you're gonna explore a lot, So I bring shoes.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Like hiking boots. You need something to you need steel,
I recommend a steel toe.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Here we go.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Okay, Yeah, you never know when a palm tree is
gonna fall on.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Your tone, some sort of animal comes out. You got
to give it a comes out. Give her? What have you?
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Those two and like I guess like a water filter,
a water filter like one of those pictures are like
one of those you can take not with like a
filtration system. Pan a pant so I could boil water.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Pan is great, there you go. Pan is a good one.
I'm thinking of like.
Speaker 4 (32:41):
Water, So I would they have things where like you
put it in it purifies like you could put in
a stream and it distills in it purifies.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
But then after hearing your answers, I might take out
the deck of.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Cards, survival, these kind of things.
Speaker 5 (32:58):
That's exactly the two of you together. Steve went for
like how can I eat? And Steve and Joe set
up a casino.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
He had to take it when he's to do.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
A pair of shoes March. I don't know why we
both thought we'd be naked, though. I imagine you'd have clothes.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
You know you're going, Yeah, i'd have some tattered clothing.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
But again, I still go back to a plane, a
satellite phone, and a boat. If I could bring Adrian,
that's okay. Satellite phone is like the number one number one.
It's got to be Jurassic Parking.
Speaker 5 (33:41):
Brett has a question for us. He goes, I have
a terrible roommate who's signed on to the least with
me for another seven months. Moms, do you have any
suggestions so I can survive.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
This seven months?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Like do a lot of trips, like not be there
as much as you can for seven months.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I had a.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Situation like that where I had a third room and
it wasn't going well and we had to like I
just worked more or was like out of the house more.
I think it's the number one thing it's got. Look,
you could do one of two things. You could be
in the house and be miserable. You could be out
of the house and explore your community and or friendships,
go to people's houses, do things like stay.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Out of the house more, just be the house to sleep.
I think I was basically in the house to sleep
pretty much for time. Yeah, for a while.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Yeah, I just left. I had a horrible lease with somebody,
and I said, why don't you find somebody you'd like
to live with and I'll dip. He goes great, and
I dipped. So I I literally I just left and
I found a new place. Well, leases can be broken
if it's a situation as well. People think that it's like,
oh I'm on the lease. Yeah, well you could break
the lease. Yeah, you can break the lease. But but
(34:42):
I had a conversation. I just said, look, I want
to get out of here. I you know, obviously we
don't get along.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
So he didn't like you, probably too though, right, Uh,
I'll give you his initials Eddie Ift.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
But he uh yeah, actually I remember the straw that
broke the camel's back. He was going to Vegas and
he met a stripper and they were dating for like
two weeks. I came home from a USO tour and
she was there. I came back from Afghanistan. Not only
was she there ready, she moved in. She moved into
(35:20):
our house. I saw these suitcases and now I'm living
with him and a stripper, and I'm like done. He
didn't say to you, hey, this, never mentioned it to me,
never emailed, no, nothing. And that's when I left. I
got my car and I wrote a check to There's
a There's an apartment building right on Sunset, across the
(35:42):
street from the Laugh Factory and it was next to
Bristol Farms. And I gave him a check. I said,
I said, when can I move in? He said, you
can move in right now. I go fucking done. I
brought my stuff in. I went next to to Bristol Farms.
I got like a fifteen dollars soup. I didn't realize
how expensive it was, and in line in front of
me was Lando kil Riscian and I was like, this
is the greatest day.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Of my life.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Yeah, the greatest day month. I just met Lando kil Rissian.
I got my own place. I'm on Sunset Boulevard and
I'm not living with.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Let me take these shoes, this spot, and this fire starter.
I'm gonna start my own fucking life here.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
That's how it started.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
That's how it all started. That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I Yeah, that's that's that's tough to be to have
to like do that, but I think it's always better.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
It's better than making yourself miserable for seven months.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Yeah, one hundred percent. You got to take control of that.
Yeh seven months is too long. If it was two
or three, yeah, like maybe ride it out. It's a
few weeks, right, yep, I mean half over half a year?
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Yeah, hold on, you're right. I ran the numbers. It's
over half a year, guys. SI's because six would be
heavy year, because twelve months seven it's just over but
less than five less then yeah, hold on, yeah, that
that checks out there.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
He took seven and doubled it. That'd be more.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
That'd be more than more than years. That's why we're
talking the same. We'll shoot the same. Well, hey they haven't.
That was two cool moms. I have been Joe Gatto. Listen, Steve,
I want to say something about you. I love you
and your fish sweater.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
If you guys haven't watched on, Have you guys haven't
watched the episode? If you're just listening to it, I
encourage you to please check out this fish sweater.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
My boy Steve is a log under the YouTube and
taking a look. It's fantastic.
Speaker 7 (37:23):
If you want to go see Steve on the road
doing comedies, you go to Steve on Bunch of not Live.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Search of Steve byrne b y rn E. I'm Joe
Gatdo Joe gattoficial dot com.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
You want to see my boy Mark, He's out on
the road with me and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
On Two Cool Mobs
Hey everybody, thanks for watching this week's episode. We want
to promote where you can see us.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
For tickets, go to Joe gattoofficial dot com and see
all my door dates.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
For Steve's go to punch Up dot Live backslash Steve
hyphen Burn.
Speaker 4 (00:14):
That's beat y R.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I need. He makes it soper easy to find him.
And now onto the episode. There was a problem.
Speaker 4 (00:28):
Wear a ticket, my.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hold on, I'm gonna fix my fat.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
All right, thank you for coming to two cool moms.
Comed they didn't come anywhere. They're listening to it.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I try.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Thanks listening to two cool moms. I'm Joe Gatto, your
favorite mom.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
I'm your second favorite mom.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I said it first, so I guess so yeah, you
didn't think to say it.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
I'm the mom you want to go too, but at
an obligation. Because Joe said your first favor of mom,
You're gonna go to Joe first. But you know where
the goods are true.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
If we had a mom off, what do you think
would win you and I? You make a good chicken pecada, so.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You could cook I could cookm off. So let's all
let's hit all the tropes of moms.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
They cook well, okay, we're both good cooks. Tie there,
okay giving advice, we're both fantastic, okay, keeping a secret.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Fantastic shave legs.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
You you crush that, I.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Win, so that's plus one.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
Yeah, you shave your pits too.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
You're a hairless so it's uneven.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
Cats, can I tell you? Okay, look, we're all on.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
The road right, so wait, there's people listening to Buddy,
So let's I'm I gonna.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Have to No, no, this is not You don't have
to worry about this one. Okay. So I finished my
show this this past weekend, and I didn't eat dinner.
I was so hungry. I go to yard House, it's
right there below my hotel. I order an avocado toast
and a nice soup, and I'm so excited to just
get to my room, throw some Netflix on and eat
(01:59):
my food and crash out. So my friend Steve is
with me, and no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I think I just found the title of the episode. God. Sorry, no.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
So the the elevator, there's three elevators. Okay, the door
opens and as it's opening, I'm seeing feet and I
see legs and somebody's I was laying down and it
opens and then I see a gut and I see
a man laying there, and then there's just a pool
of vomit. Oh no, and the door opens and he
(02:42):
goes ah, and we were like eh. So then I
go to the lobby and I hit the door again
and the door shuts. I'm like, oh my god, that
was so disgusting. I'm like, oh, I put my food down.
I'm like, I don't know if I can eat again.
So like I'm thinking, okay, let's just give it a second.
I go, okay, let's just hit the thing again. I
hit the thing. Wait for the fucking again. There's three
(03:02):
fucking elevators, fucking same door. Geez, and then he looks
like he goes ah and we go and then the
door shuts again. I can't go in to hit the
button because the puke is all over by the set.
I can't even go in and set him set them up.
But you're thinking, these things go up all the time
(03:23):
and down, So all right, let's just give it another
like forty seconds. I'll hit something. One of these other
elevators gotta come right. So I hit it a third time.
Fucking the fucking ging. It's like the lights turning. He
was like, oh, and I'm fuck. So then the doors shut.
Three other people come over. Okay, the like these three
(03:44):
women are coming up and uh oh God, so they're
over here.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
She hits the.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Button and I'm like turning around praying. I'm like praying
one of these other doors is going to open. The
door opens, I go, girls don't. And then one girl
starts walking in. She goes ah, and then guy goes ah.
So everybody's like aweing at each other. And then and
then it was just like it was the fourth time.
The elevator goes and these girls are disgusted, they're taught,
(04:13):
they're having the conversation we just had now. So I'm like,
all right, give it thirty seconds. Let's hit and pray
to God there's no stairs. You can't take the stairs
otherwise I wanted to walk there eight floors and so
I hit the thing. Finally one of the other doors opens,
and I was like, how funny would it be of
it opened? And he was like, ah, but I've never
(04:35):
experienced that the experience of that guy just needed help
right now, I know, I know, it's like, ah, help, Meg,
Like hell, why won't you help me like somebody else women.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Poor fellow's probably still there. Well he was alive, Okay,
that's good.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
And once I knew he was alive, I was like, okay,
I'm not going to get in the middle of this.
As soon as I got to my room, I called
the front desk and I said, there's there's a portly
Asian man who booted all over your elevator.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
The log Steve Burn. Oh no, no, no, that's you.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
The woman on the phone goes, not again.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
God, yeah, poor fellow.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
They must see some crazy shit.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Forget a hotel front desk. People in general you could
probably talk to as well.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
You know our boy here, Mark before he became world
famous comedian, Mark ga Guardian.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
And not just at any hotel, No, he was at
the Ritz. Carlton, I believe we're not talking Lakina.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
No, I'm not talking about a Hampton.
Speaker 4 (05:37):
We're not even talking to Mario.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Shot in your mouth.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
If you're talking to me about a red roof crew,
I don't want to hear yourself. Listen, you could take
your fucking Kempton in.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
And shove it straight up your ass sideways. Because also,
thank you to our spending sponsor.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Did you so you worked at the Ritz, Carlton, Was
that your first first front desk experience?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Never worked at front desk?
Speaker 4 (05:58):
You got the Ritz, I got the you got the
writs out of the gates at the gates. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:03):
Well, I was a cabanda boy for at the Universal
Studios Hotels, which clearly my resume was looking great.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
They put you on the rits. You were putting on
the red the Ritz.
Speaker 4 (06:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
How many hours? How many years at the Ritz?
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (06:17):
I think like three or four at the front desk?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Wow?
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Okay, first question, combat boy, commanda boy. Never knew this
about you? You did it? No idea? Were you getting proposition?
Like in the movies like Secret of My Success and
all those things. Those eighty films were like you know,
the young college kid, the cougar, the husband's off at
the golf course, anything all from the wrong people. You
(06:43):
got vibes, but nothing.
Speaker 5 (06:45):
Part of my job, which was I used to love
it was every hour there was like an amenity that
would have to go out to all the guests by.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
The pool, cold cowl, a little bit of juice.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Like a little smoothie, chilled cucumbers. Then there would be
my favorite was the evy on missed spray, so every
on the water that's a cold water miss. So I'd
had to go up to these ladies and go, can
I interest you in a cool refreshing miss that be nice?
And everyone who took out, everyone who wanted it was disgusting.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Mark would go he hit the button to be like,
do you want to miss?
Speaker 5 (07:21):
I think my husband Gary wants it too, and I'm like,
oh Gary, to get so bad.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
They are so close to these people.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
But yeah, so I used to like that though, giving
out the amenities and you know, I have to work
the slide make sure people don't get injured the slide,
but yeah, it was fun.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
So at the front desk, though, what was one of
the crazier things you've seen? You must have seen some crazy, man,
I saw crazy.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
A lot of stuff was from international folks who would
come into the city.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
There's many you.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Know, obviously different customs and people do different things. But
the a lot of the Middle Eastern delegations who would
come in for like the un stuff. They would get
these thousand and fifteen hundred dollar a night rooms before
literally a goat.
Speaker 4 (08:04):
I saw that.
Speaker 5 (08:04):
Multiple times, Like they'd be like we need a room
for a goat.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
And so you me and Lebron James the goat.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Yeah, you have a real animal goat and what And
then halfway through their stay, the goat would not be
there anymore, and that would be dinner.
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Whoa, yeah, where would they goat it?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
They would go to in the room.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
No, So like a lot of these delegations would come
in with their own private chefs. So all the princes
and princesses would have like their own chef in the hotel.
So the hotel would never serve them any food you
would get. They would have their own private chef and wing.
And then they would cook all the food that would
go up like cook a certain way.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Yeah, that's crazy. So they would bring their own goats
and that that would be their dinner because.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
The wouldn't want to procure, so the goats weren't flown in.
Though they probably procure the groat. The goat stateside, they don't.
Speaker 5 (08:54):
Like probably, yeah, But they would bring everything in. So
a lot of them would refurnish the entire rooms, stripped
the rooms completely, a friendsure, the furniture right, yeah, And
then they would do complete remodeling because they would stay
for months at a time. So with goats, Well, you
mean like the delegations would strip the rooms.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Of all of our furniture.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Their own hole furniture.
Speaker 5 (09:14):
Oh really yeah, I saw that all the time.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Yeah, I guess the biggest tips.
Speaker 4 (09:21):
Tips for check ins.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
Oh well, I give this to you one of my
one of the people spend a lot of money on hotels,
and they don't realize. They think that everything should be entitled.
I will I want an upgrade, give me an upgrade.
I'm this status whatever. And the best advice is that
if you take one twentieth of your room night's day
and tip the front desk, they'll you're you're in forever.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
So, like, for example, you stay at like a nice
hotel or even a good hotel, and you tip the
front desk twenty thirty forty fifty bucks like you are
in their mind for your entire stay. You have an
ally in the hotel. So it's much better just to
like have you know, if you're gonna spend four hundred
dollars a night or room, or seven hundred dollars a
night room, just allocate an extra fifty bucks when you
check in, and you'd be blown away.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
How much.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
You stand out because like only one maybe two people
a day will do that, and those people.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Who do that give it.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Like at a high end like a Ritz, there's amenities
that will go a long way, right, But if you're
like at a Marriott, what does it matter? It probably
does like a lot of.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Water on the on the road. I'll pillage the I'll
pillage the front. Well I've seen you. Yeah, I just
pillage at a shop.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I fill my pockets with M and ms and whatnots
and like like you didn't see anything, and I want.
Speaker 4 (10:31):
You always tip. I do you tip front desk drivers?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yes, all of it. Yeah, you're like Jude, he's a
big thing, but he always do I always do it
before the service. There's a lot of people don't realize that. Yeah,
like what a what a valet? I always tip them
on the drop off. You don't tip them when you
pick it up.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
They're done?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
What your car right?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Right?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I always drop them off. I always put them up
in the beginning. I think it's important. But at the
front desk one does go away because you'll be like
they'll look it's stuff that you won't even think of.
They're like, all right, I'll give you maybe I gotta
have a corner suite that works blah blah, or maybe
I'll give you a room that's kind of not as
far down the whole, closer to the elevator so it's
easy to get to, or things like that. That they're
looking at their whole inventory. I'll notice right away when
you tip somebody, they'll take them a second to check
(11:07):
you in instead of just being like, oh, here's a room,
like w look all right, and then they look through
the inventory.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
You'll get that a lot, which is nice.
Speaker 5 (11:14):
This is like vacation advice too, Like I think that
this is what.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
I wrong with the family. Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I break them off hard when I got the kids
because I know, like we're gonna need do you have
beach choys?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
Instead of being like, oh, the gift shops right here,
they're like, we got some that they use, like stuff
like that. That always works.
Speaker 4 (11:28):
It's smart to I don't do that. I was tip
after before, tip before. That's smart.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Yeah. The hope by tip after is housekeeping. Housekeeping.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
A lot of times too, when I check out, I
let them know I just because it's fun for me.
I'll walk by they're like, oh, like some action for
you inside on the night stand.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
What does that even mean?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
That means they're like thank you and then and it's
a tense spot with a note thanks.
Speaker 4 (11:53):
But you've always been a good tipper?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, I do. I learned it from my dad. I
think my dad was always a tipper.
Speaker 4 (11:57):
Yeah, speaking of somebody that doesn't jig, we have.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
Any questions on the request line, Matt hits us up.
He says, I'm down to my last of my savings
after looking for work for a while. If you were
down to your last month's worth of money in the bank,
what job would you look for to get by?
Speaker 1 (12:18):
We've been there, been there for sure.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
I mean restaurants, restaurant in retail, right, restaurant in retail.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Those those two spots I think you can find probably
the quickest turnaround. So I would say go to those
those two places. But I would even say, now though
they're gonna hit you now, I'm gonna give you a
nowish one that wasn't around with me.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
And you would back in there in the pedlin.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
What I would say, uber or door dash, Oh, that's yeah,
I would probably do that. I'll probably jump in. If
you don't have a car, you kind of aft, but
I would do you know, if if you have a car,
I would probably do.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Uber and or door Dash.
Speaker 4 (12:50):
God blessed door Dash and Uber eats.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
God bless them guys.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Because Uber's one thing. It's one they'ing going to drive somebody.
It's the thing to get there, Grab the food. Do
I have all the utensils? Hall ass back? They paid extra.
It's gotta be hot first. Can't let the pizza slide.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
This traffic move. I gotta get this, I gotta get this.
Speaker 4 (13:11):
Yeah, anxiety terrible.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Why not just work for like a Dominoes? Well, you know,
we deliver and every time.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Bang it out.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
If you had to, like, is that more?
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Well, I guess there's only one person, the higher. I
guess that's why I just answered my own question. I
was a dumb question, but.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
I always I always worked in a restaurant where it's
like I'd like to eat here.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
You like also, you like to eat everywhere everywhere. You
know what I call a finicky eater, buddy. I've seen
you eat golf. We dropped the floor if you had
some whisky, true story, dropped a ham sandwich, was like, it's.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
All right, it's true. Inflation now it's a it's a
seven second rould to.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
But yeah, anything with anxiety, anything that.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
What was the thing that you were would tell you.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
We're so excited about it was like a sushi Brita, Yes,
the sushi marilla.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
It was garbage.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, it was garbage.
Speaker 4 (14:08):
It wasn't even good that.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You're like, guys, I got a sushi burritos.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
I said down for this one. Oh yeah, yeah, you
didn't like it. No, we all hated it. Yeah, it
was so funny.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
We ripped into you for it was you sold it
so hard. You're like, guys, it's a sushi burrito. Like
that's two words that shouldn't.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
Go think about it, warm tortilla, cold fish one kids in.
Speaker 4 (14:29):
But here's the thing, Like anybody else's like, it's okay,
or that was good, or here's Joe disgusting it.
Speaker 3 (14:38):
You bought it too for the joke. I threw it
against the wall in my suite. We were eating my
sweet I took you all, I got a sushi burritos.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Like really, they're probably like that sucks it out. They're
probably they're gonna be great. We took about like disgusting bag.
Speaker 4 (14:54):
It hit them sauce and salmon.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Salta and salmon together, it is disco. He could the
girl picked the girls.
Speaker 4 (15:07):
The girl next question what this from? Do we answer it?
Speaker 5 (15:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:13):
It was like, what would you do for a job?
Speaker 4 (15:14):
You said, Oh, I work in a restaurant.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Uh, Lisa asks, what was your dream job as a kid.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Oh, I wanted to be an architect growing up? Yeah,
I loved like mister Brady. I didn't even know architect
right now, that's right. He only didn't build very impressive
things though.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, I would say I was saying an architect when
I was little, But I don't know if that was
my dream job where I really liked it. But if
I have like my dream job when I was younger,
I wanted to create video games. I used to pretend
that I could in a notebook and I used to
convince Jason Joseph. I used to convince Jason Joseph that
I knew code and I used to write like letters
(15:53):
and number create this thing.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, I remember that, and I was like, this is
how you make him jump?
Speaker 2 (15:58):
And I would like write X equals fourteen whatever and
Jason's like what, like yeah, Because he had a Tandy
computer and we used to play the game.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
You probably could have probably could.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Have given your background as an athlete.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Yeah, I probably could I go if I got into it,
But I never took that. Yeah, I never took that.
I never went down that pack.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
How old are you at this time?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Twelve thirteen? Okay, Yeah, I took coding in high school.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
We had computer lab right, and you were able to
like learn basic I think that was a command.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
It was called right.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
You had to write all this stuff and you would
be able to write code, and it would be able
to like to loop, like you would write in a number,
would do math.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
You'd write these programs, and I was like, oh, that
was really cool.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So a computer science would probably be a different There's
probably a bizarro Joe out there that does computer science
and creates video games. I would that would probably be
my dream job. I would even love that now for
my reality.
Speaker 4 (16:50):
Looking back, if I had a dream job, I would
go into gender studies. When we were growing up, because
there were only two at the time. What was I
to I.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Don't know what was your dream job? Stupid, We're not
let to do comedy. You kids do comedy. Just make
it funny.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Sorry, Sorry that joke was so bad.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Now now we keep it in. Now we keep it in.
Speaker 4 (17:17):
That's all back, astronaut, For sure.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I was because it's a real space cadet. It's lin
uh oh yeah, awesome.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
You like space, love space. I got like calendars and
cut them all up and put the pictures all over. Yeah.
I wanted. But you have to be good at science.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
You said, you've got calendars.
Speaker 4 (17:40):
I had these NASA calendars and I would cut the pictures
out of.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
It's like it's like a it's like a swimsuit edition
for the Insta.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
It's like buzzle put a face on me, a Lomstrong
on a couch and a firm.
Speaker 5 (17:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
I was obsessed. Yeah, I don't know. Actually, it's so
funny about what did you what?
Speaker 1 (18:01):
You were a fucking campanda.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Boy? Would you look amissed? We would you dreaming about
the stars? You're you're you're spraying down on the Jewish retiring.
Yeah you want a miss with your pelado, mister Schwartz
bug the fuck?
Speaker 5 (18:18):
What were the what were the images that you put
on your.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
That's all interesting, all the different planets, And.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
You made fun of me for writing code.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
But I always thought it was like it was like
the the outfits were cool, like the the space suits
were cool.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Okay, I'm going to you a true or false? Okay,
true false, tru false.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
You had in your room the glow and dark star stickers.
Remember those when they put them up? My dad was
so mad because I put them on.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
My Then they shred your ceilings because my kids have it.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Now you're stupid all you give it to your kids?
Same set or no this? Yeah, I wanted to be
an astronaut. Does your son?
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Does your son cut out pictures of grown men bang
them on the wall in astronaut outfits? You think he
died was made about the stars. He was like he
was giving you playboys. He was like a whole session
called splash Down.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
No, no, no, my son is uh, he's he's all,
he's all Mandalorian.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Really, my son is obsessed with space loves I love space. Yeah,
but uh he likes your son. If you if your
kids dream jougs, what are your kids leaning towards? Like
Malana wants to be a DJ or a veterinarian and
Remo wants.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
To be uh uh I think is stay at home son.
I don't know what he is.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
No, Remo is gonna be awesome. Whatever he's gonna be,
can tell you can just like this kid's gonna he's
got it. He's got it. Yeah. My daughter, I don't know.
She does soccer. She's twelve, right, she's yeah, twelve.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
She's not talking about long term.
Speaker 4 (19:49):
I think she mentioned architecture one time, but there was
there was like two or three years ago she said
maybe I'll be a teacher. It's like there's no money
in that. Totally up front with her. But my son,
my son has mentioned veterinarian once or twice, and I think.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
It's a big kid one nowadays vets.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, I don't remember growing up, when we were growing up,
I don't remember kids want to be veterinarians. But I
feel like, now you go to that bullshit do you
go to the bullshit one of your school?
Speaker 1 (20:14):
The kids, the kids stupid.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
Fucking play where we're making a community and yeah, everybody
has to pick a job. There's like forty seven veterinarians
now really, yeah, like there was just so many. During
the song they come up and they sing.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Like we heal cats and dogs. Don't forget about ponies
and dogs. Veterinarians go back. It's so dumb, but there
was like so many veterinarians.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
Yea, my son is my daughter got a cat. So
my son's like, can I get a dog? And Jess
just puts the kabash because she's like, I don't have
the time.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
She's gonna dad.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
It's all on you guys, and you're not responsible. And
we did a thing where we had a trial run.
We had a dog living with us for a week,
foster whatever our neighbors left, and so for the first
four days the kids were loving it. The third day
they're just like out over it.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
I don't want to walk the dog.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
And I'm like, fuck, I'll walk the dog. So they
got over it pretty quickly. So that was a great
lesson a responsibility. But my son now is like, I
want a cat? Can I get a kitten? And you know,
cats are so much easier than dogs, just the litter
and the food.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
So it's sustaining a bit more, especially for children.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Yeah, we could leave town for six days and it's fine,
but my wife is like, why don't you put on
a presentation of why you think you deserve a cat?
So great, so he put together a PowerPoint presentation which
he slides and he put the titles up and everything,
and literally the first line he says, he goes, uh,
he goes, this is my presentation why kent me would
(21:37):
be the perfect kid for a kitten.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
He's got it.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
And I was like, that's not bad. That's it.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
It's not bad, man, same thing.
Speaker 4 (21:45):
He's got it, man, I said Jess. I looked at her.
I was like, you got to do it now. So
she's picking up a kit and for him on a Wednesday, Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Really, no idea.
Speaker 4 (21:55):
And every day he's come home from school since that presentation,
he has asked every single day as soon as he
puts his knapsack down, you guys look into the kitten
or anything like that.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
I hope it's the first day he doesn't ask and
you have it.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Ah, great, Yeah, you should hold that cat like hide
it until then, just put it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Just smother, rich, smarter. We have a cat in my house.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
You have a cat.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
My in laws have a cat.
Speaker 4 (22:17):
I never knew that a cat.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I've seen it.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Five times in my home. It's lived in two separate
houses with me, I swear on my mother. I've seen
it five times. It's lived in two different houses. It
used to hide in Lindbrook us to hide underneath the
bed and never saw it. And then now it lives
in there like little room, sweet thing because we have
all the dogs and it just lives there, sits in
their window.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Well, let me let me say this. The one thing
about this kitten. We've seen pictures of it, and it's
a really it's a kitten. It's cute, right, I met it,
never met it. So my wife is going Wednesday morning,
like make sure everything's okay whatever, And the woman's like, oh,
it's very friendly, it's very cuddly. It likes to cuddle.
So I think kettle like that. And then she sent
us a video of the kitten and the kitten sitting
(22:58):
down and just looking at the camera and then gets
walks away and its tail is like that fucking long.
It's like got the tail of like a spider monkey.
And I was like, what the fuck is that? And
I don't know, just I don't know. There's something off
now to me about the kitten, Like it's weird. I've
never seen a tail that long on a cat in
my life. Does it grow into the tail, It's gonna
(23:20):
be a fucking snow leopard. It's massive it's gotta be.
It's if the kitten's this big, the tails like that big.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
You have to see these dummies, these videos with people
like I thought it was a kitten and it's like
a panther videos.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
They're out there just a huge oh they like we
found we found this puppy. It's a fox, like you know,
like I saw this one this woman, like we thought
it was a black cat, it was a panther.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
I thought it was a ra turns out it's a
sea otter. It's like, what the fuck, Well it's a raccoon.
But yes, and they always get attacked, always always get attacked.
It's like you deserve it. This is it's a fucking wolf, lady.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
It's a wolf, but it's my wolf.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
And you see those videos those guys that are like, oh,
I rescued this a lion when it was a baby
and it comes full speed at them and attack.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
How do you know what's going that way? And that's
gonna hug you and not rip your face.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
You were never a cat person, just all dogs.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
My best friend next door had a cat named grey
Bar who looked like the cat from Pet Cemetery, and
I saw a pet cemeterary and it freaked me out.
And then I had grey Bar across the street from me,
and grey Bar lived up to the hype, like he
used to sit in the window and watch me like
he really one of those He was creepy as shit.
So I never really got accustomed to cats. That being said,
C's got a bunch of cats. I love his cats
(24:48):
when I'm at his house with pet his cats, like,
I don't mind cats at all, and I mind being
around them.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
If I have to pick between the two, I love.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
To have a dog.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I have an infinity for dogs more than cats. I'm
not a cat hater. I'm not one of those people
that love dogs hate cats. But if I between the two,
will definitely have a better experience with you.
Speaker 4 (25:03):
If I had a stable job, I'd love to have
a dog. I love that one.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
I just see all these stable job meaning you don't
think it'll be working.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I'm just just like if I was home like, and
I don't want to be that douche that like, there's
guys that bring it everywhere every time, bring it on stage.
It's like relax, relax, No, no, no, that's not you. You bring
it on occasion you did still not lie that. No,
there's three three comics. I could tell you right now,
I could give you one initial and I can't say
(25:31):
that it drives me nuts. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Sorry, let's move on, Steve.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
What was the question?
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I forget? Do we answer it?
Speaker 4 (25:40):
Oh? What was your dream job?
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Dream job was good? Yeah? We did great. There that's
a great tedgent. We followed that one.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
We follow that one down the right sun got a kitten.
There we go. I answered it.
Speaker 5 (25:49):
Okay, next question we have comes from Rachel. I found
out my boyfriend hooked up with one of my friends
before we started dating. I'm not mad at him, but
I'm struggling with hanging out with my friends and him together.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
Now.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
Is it a jealousy issue on me? How can I
coexist knowing this happened with my friends and him.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Well, you just.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
Can't picture him doing things, you know, physically to your FRIENDE.
Once you get past that hurdle, you knowing that they
had emotional ties, but that he pleasured her, you know,
with his tongue or his face in between his face
was in between her legs at some.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Point, just shut out to think about that. Yeah, I
think that's gonna be the best Once you.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
Get past that, it's fine. What's the next question?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
I think you know it's hard, but everybody has a pass.
But when the past is thrown in your face by
them being around you, that's different, right, you know, right, yeah,
because like everybody's had made love or sweet tenderness to
someone earlier before you everywhere, you know.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Besides, if you're somebody's first moan, but that's far.
Speaker 4 (26:49):
Somebody's been in somebody's mouth.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Someone has been There's been mouths involved.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
There's mouths and units us.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
And parts involved. That's what we're saying.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So I think the takeaway here is if they're not
looking at each other like longingly, try to move on.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
I mean it was in the past exactly.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Fluids have been exchanged, right, This is all the same
things we're saying. Yeah, they've been together, not speaking, but grunting.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
From this, they know how each other grunts, and that's
really the thing to take away from here.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
I think that the hardest part of it all is
that you have to see them in the same room
at the same time.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Here's where it gets tricky. If like the two of
them are in a room and you're there and they say,
would you mind holding a camera like, that's where it
gets they.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Asked you to be excuses them for a minute, That's
where it gets odd, like you should probably that's where
the antennas go up.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
I don't think we're helping this person very much.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
If she looks at you and and looks at your
boyfriend and winks and goes like just get over it.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Or just goes I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I think the hardest part I'm trying to think when
I was coming up and I was in high school,
we definitely all circulated the same group of guys and girls.
The friend groups always made out with different ones at
different times. Some became girlfriend's long term boyfriends. That definitely happened.
We weren't being super intimate, but it was definitely hooking up,
making out whatever. So with those times when we were
(28:13):
hanging out, it didn't necessarily bother each other or anybody.
I don't think. I think we were all still just
all friends coexisting. I think it gets weirder with the
length of time that people dated and the intensity of
the relationship is they were like hardco a boyfriend girlfriend
for a year and a half and they then it
was like a messy breakup and stuff that makes it hard.
But if they hooked up after a bar when they
(28:34):
were drunk once or twice, like, that's a different story, right, Yeah,
So I think you need to You don't want to
ruin a friendship that doesn't need to be ruined because
of your insecurities. I there's nothing to be insecure about
it if you again, security from your partner and your
friend isn't given you any indication and it was more
than anything than just a hookup. Don't ruin those two
relationships based on insecurity, is my true advice.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Right, Yeah, you're probably reading more into it than is there,
because if there was something there to your point, you
would pick up on it your social cues. But also,
if they were to be together, they'd be together.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
You're not, and right, they've chosen not to be together.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Yeah, he's invested his time in you, so you need
to trust that and honor it and go with it.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Yeah, you don't want to throw away something for no reason.
That's the biggest point.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And then also everybody in this situation is aware of it,
So why isn't it being spoken about?
Speaker 2 (29:25):
Like it's got to be one of those things where
like if you're having a thing, or something comes up
on your radar, you should either talk to your close
friend about something that came up on the radar because
of her, or your boyfriend because of someone chemical.
Speaker 4 (29:37):
I am to your point though, It just comes down
to security. What are you contributing to this? What are
you doing to yourself?
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, everybody's been with somebody before too. This person just
happens to be in your life.
Speaker 4 (29:49):
Exactly, nailed it, Joe, that was great.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
That's way better. Wow, we started off rocky, but we
got there. I still think the first part was also
very helpful.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
Sophia asked, this is on what would for each of you?
What would be the three items that you'd bring with
you to a desert island?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Three items so you can't be a person that has
to be an item right?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
A plane so I could leave right like immediately, Like
that's the stupid I need one item. A plane.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I bring a plane, so I could leave a boat,
just a boat in case the plane doesn't work, I
can grab the boat and make it like a cruise
ship so I could have some fun on it. I
bring a plane, I bring a cruise ship, and I
bring the satellite phone.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
So I could call for help if both other ones
don't work. Those are my.
Speaker 4 (30:36):
Three things those carry on items. Carry on.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
Let's play her game the way she wants to be played.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Okay, I would definitely bring, first and foremost a deck
of cards.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Really need some sort of entertainment. Cards are so much fun, endless,
endless possibilities.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
When it comes cards, you can make a card games.
You could play the game ones. You know, I probably
bring a.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Knife that I would need a knife. I would need
a knife.
Speaker 4 (30:59):
I love I would love nothing more than see you.
And like one of those shows alone. Like I wake
up in the morning, I'm naked, wake up.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Every every morning in my life is naked, afrae. When
I wake up, I'm surrounded by animals. I'm naked afraid.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
She's saying cards.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I would definitely say car knife.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I think I would need a knife. Right, You're gonna
need a knife. Yeah, I don't know what I would
do with it, but I wouldn't need it. And then
maybe like, uh, a jacket.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
It's kind of gay cold at night, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Right, I need a blanket, probably a black probably a duvet,
a blanket. I bring a big blanket and I just
want blanket, a duvet because at night it's the islands.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
So I know I'm going to be stranded out on
an island.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Yes you know.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
So I'm gonna bring a firestarter, one of those fire starters.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
You canna read, pimple.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
It was like a little flip. It was like a
little flip.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
That's entertainment.
Speaker 4 (31:57):
No, I bring those little flint starters where I can,
I could start a fire. Bring a pair of shoes
because you're gonna explore a lot, So I bring shoes.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Like hiking boots. You need something to you need steel,
I recommend a steel toe.
Speaker 1 (32:11):
Here we go.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
Okay, Yeah, you never know when a palm tree is
gonna fall on.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Your tone, some sort of animal comes out. You got
to give it a comes out. Give her? What have you?
Speaker 4 (32:21):
Those two and like I guess like a water filter,
a water filter like one of those pictures are like
one of those you can take not with like a
filtration system. Pan a pant so I could boil water.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Pan is great, there you go. Pan is a good one.
I'm thinking of like.
Speaker 4 (32:41):
Water, So I would they have things where like you
put it in it purifies like you could put in
a stream and it distills in it purifies.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
But then after hearing your answers, I might take out
the deck of.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Cards, survival, these kind of things.
Speaker 5 (32:58):
That's exactly the two of you together. Steve went for
like how can I eat? And Steve and Joe set
up a casino.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
He had to take it when he's to do.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
A pair of shoes March. I don't know why we
both thought we'd be naked, though. I imagine you'd have clothes.
Speaker 4 (33:22):
You know you're going, Yeah, i'd have some tattered clothing.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
But again, I still go back to a plane, a
satellite phone, and a boat. If I could bring Adrian,
that's okay. Satellite phone is like the number one number one.
It's got to be Jurassic Parking.
Speaker 5 (33:41):
Brett has a question for us. He goes, I have
a terrible roommate who's signed on to the least with
me for another seven months. Moms, do you have any
suggestions so I can survive.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
This seven months?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Like do a lot of trips, like not be there
as much as you can for seven months.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
I had a.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Situation like that where I had a third room and
it wasn't going well and we had to like I
just worked more or was like out of the house more.
I think it's the number one thing it's got. Look,
you could do one of two things. You could be
in the house and be miserable. You could be out
of the house and explore your community and or friendships,
go to people's houses, do things like stay.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Out of the house more, just be the house to sleep.
I think I was basically in the house to sleep
pretty much for time. Yeah, for a while.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Yeah, I just left. I had a horrible lease with somebody,
and I said, why don't you find somebody you'd like
to live with and I'll dip. He goes great, and
I dipped. So I I literally I just left and
I found a new place. Well, leases can be broken
if it's a situation as well. People think that it's like,
oh I'm on the lease. Yeah, well you could break
the lease. Yeah, you can break the lease. But but
(34:42):
I had a conversation. I just said, look, I want
to get out of here. I you know, obviously we
don't get along.
Speaker 6 (34:47):
So he didn't like you, probably too though, right, Uh,
I'll give you his initials Eddie Ift.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
But he uh yeah, actually I remember the straw that
broke the camel's back. He was going to Vegas and
he met a stripper and they were dating for like
two weeks. I came home from a USO tour and
she was there. I came back from Afghanistan. Not only
was she there ready, she moved in. She moved into
(35:20):
our house. I saw these suitcases and now I'm living
with him and a stripper, and I'm like done. He
didn't say to you, hey, this, never mentioned it to me,
never emailed, no, nothing. And that's when I left. I
got my car and I wrote a check to There's
a There's an apartment building right on Sunset, across the
(35:42):
street from the Laugh Factory and it was next to
Bristol Farms. And I gave him a check. I said,
I said, when can I move in? He said, you
can move in right now. I go fucking done. I
brought my stuff in. I went next to to Bristol Farms.
I got like a fifteen dollars soup. I didn't realize
how expensive it was, and in line in front of
me was Lando kil Riscian and I was like, this
is the greatest day.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Of my life.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Yeah, the greatest day month. I just met Lando kil Rissian.
I got my own place. I'm on Sunset Boulevard and
I'm not living with.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Let me take these shoes, this spot, and this fire starter.
I'm gonna start my own fucking life here.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
That's how it started.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
That's how it all started. That's fantastic.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
I Yeah, that's that's that's tough to be to have
to like do that, but I think it's always better.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
It's better than making yourself miserable for seven months.
Speaker 4 (36:30):
Yeah, one hundred percent. You got to take control of that.
Yeh seven months is too long. If it was two
or three, yeah, like maybe ride it out. It's a
few weeks, right, yep, I mean half over half a year?
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Yeah, hold on, you're right. I ran the numbers. It's
over half a year, guys. SI's because six would be
heavy year, because twelve months seven it's just over but
less than five less then yeah, hold on, yeah, that
that checks out there.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
He took seven and doubled it. That'd be more.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
That'd be more than more than years. That's why we're
talking the same. We'll shoot the same. Well, hey they haven't.
That was two cool moms. I have been Joe Gatto. Listen, Steve,
I want to say something about you. I love you
and your fish sweater.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
If you guys haven't watched on, Have you guys haven't
watched the episode? If you're just listening to it, I
encourage you to please check out this fish sweater.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
My boy Steve is a log under the YouTube and
taking a look. It's fantastic.
Speaker 7 (37:23):
If you want to go see Steve on the road
doing comedies, you go to Steve on Bunch of not Live.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Search of Steve byrne b y rn E. I'm Joe
Gatdo Joe gattoficial dot com.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
You want to see my boy Mark, He's out on
the road with me and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
On Two Cool Mobs
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!