Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Diamonds in the
Rough with myself.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
And I'm Erica Jane.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I forgot with myself my name afterwards, No, I no, guys,
I decided to come as dear Abby. I'm actually I'm
Sally Jesse Raphael.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I love Sally Jesse.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Listen, well, who are you?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I don't know?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Guys. Essentially, we just really couldn't get our shit together today,
but we decided we'd be the perfect time to give.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You guys advice, right, so move help for dear Abby
because it's Dear Diamonds and we're going to give out
some advice you've written to us. We're going to take
a few of your questions and give our I don't
know if we should be giving advice.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I mean, maybe we should write in and ask people
to give us.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I already do for free, I know, and I don't
need that.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
We don't want it. But apparently a lot of you guys,
I don't know, why aren't.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
You tired of people giving you cancer advice?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm so listen, I'm so sick of doing cancer press
cancer advice. Yea, me and cancer are not simpatico anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
No, it's just a silver It's.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I'm moving on. I want to get onto other people's.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Problems just real quick. I'm wearing these because I have
allergies and I want to pluck my eye out, so
it's just swollen under here.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Well I was wearing mine, but then it was hurting
because it was pushing behind my ear on the wig.
So now I'm just you know, I'm up next. I
wanted to make it feel like more formal today.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
You know, I like I like these things that you're
changing up with.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Well, wigs are the one thing that I'm changing up,
and then just clothing is solely because the other clothing
doesn't fit.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
For right now. It doesn't fit for right now, just
for right You know. You're still tiny though, that's but
just not as tiny as you were.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
But it's not about that. It's about like the fitness.
It's like, I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I can feel well, you just don't feel like yourself.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I don't feel like myself today. I got out of
breath for my twenty minute walk on the treadmill.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
But you just had that the therapy, though, that takes
it out of you.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
And I did the red carpet for the first time
you looked beautiful. Thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
I was really proud of you. But know what you lose.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Like when you haven't done a red carpet in a
long time. And granted I didn't think it had been
that long, but I guess seventy, like our eighty six
days is a pretty long amount of time.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Oh, you counted the days.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
I counted the days because it was seventy six days
from when I did a surgery. I wasn't like, who
when was the last time I did red carpet?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
The surgery. I was about to say the surgery, but
I feel a little nervous.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
I didn't feel nervous, but my eyes didn't really know
where to focus, like.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Because I couldn't that be because you had some brain tumors.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Well, I mean it could be, but I was with
Kyle and so they were yelling both of our names, yeah,
and so I would I would like find my eyes
being like and then I looked at her and I
was like, she's staying in one. Okay, That's what I'm
gonna do. And so then in eighty five percent of
the photos, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
This, No, you look great. I saw them and I
saw your interviews I thought you spoke beautifully.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Thank you, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
All right, dear Diamonds, you ready, Yeah, I'm ready. Okay,
Dear Diamonds, I need advice on what to do about
an old friendship that I can't stop thinking about. I
had best friends since tenth grade. We were so close,
almost like sisters. We'd have arguments, but get over it.
We went to university together. Is this person European because
we say college?
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Oh, they they're either we went to university. They're either
European or Canadian. Right, I don't know, but either way,
not Americans. Were you in eighteen?
Speaker 2 (03:40):
I'm saying that's a bad thing. It's just nobody says
university here.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
We didn't go to universe. Neither of us went to university,
so we don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
No, we wouldn't know. No higher education over here.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
No, but ask us keep going.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
So then she met her boyfriend who's now her husband,
and she started to prioritize spending all her time with
him because I guess the husband now husband and the
friend did not get along. They continued their friendship, but
then at the beginning of the fourth year, she.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Was tired of keeping the relationship separate. And she was
annoyed at the dumb little things. She did reach out
to me once after I did that, and I had
planned on responding but didn't. I was not planning on killing.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Killing the friendship. I did try to reach out to
her about two and a half years later. So basically
the question is twelve years since their sister like friendship ended,
but she can't move on, and I keep thinking of
how to reach out and rekindle what we once had,
but I'm scared of rejection.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Well okay, well here's what I'm going to say about this.
The friends that I truly enjoy the most are the
ones that I don't need to see every day, and.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
You don't feel like you have to catch up with it.
It feels like you just pick right up where you left.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah, it feels effortless. And I think if she doesn't
like your husband and you're still with him, and you
feel guilty for some of the things you've done in
the past by you know, pushing her out in your
words not mine, maybe you could just send her one
little text message and just say, hey, listen, I've been
doing some you know, selinking self reflecting, and I'm really
(05:22):
sorry that I didn't make you more of a priority
in my life.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
But I know that. Yeah, I'd like to change that.
Let's see and see how they look. The bottom line is,
you don't know how you're going to be received until
you do it. If it means something to you, you'll
reach out.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
And if she's this big of a problem, like, here's
the thing, there's a lot of my friend's husbands that
I don't like, but I suck it down. I suck
it down if they want to choose to be married
to them. I'm not going to avoid my friend completely,
like keep everything separate.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
It's really none of my business. If I'm friends with you,
like I mean, I don't really care about your husband.
Does that makes sense? Like I could even do a
double day whatever. I'm cool. I'm friends with you.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
The husband is, and I mean not many husbands are
that funny anyway.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
But again, my friendship is with the woman, not with
the guy. But that's my opinion.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
But either way, I think send her one little message.
If she doesn't respond, maybe she's not the friend that
you had twelve years ago.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Who is the same twelve years ago and college is
a completely different mindset and obviously too if he's your husband,
like he's first.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
He's first, and he's gonna keep coming first. So I
don't really know what's gonna change unless things are a
little bit on the skids with your husband, kids and
you need to have that friendship that you originally had
with her, But it is going to change. You're married now,
you possibly have kids, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Twelve years.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Yeah, we're both adults. There were both adults with little kids.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Now well that's yeah, that's ship has sailed. Maybe you
guys can bond to her being mothers.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
You could, you, but you're ruationship is changed, yes, agreed.
But if she won't respond to you, Like I have
a friend that keeps reaching out to me through subtle ways,
I don't respond. I'm not interested.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Do you have a big friendship circle? I have like problems, Yeah,
you do.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I have like sections, Like I have like three groups
of friends.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Right, and they all do different things, and.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
They all do different things, and they all meet like
we all meet different Yeah, but also none of my
friends really have expectations. But I would do anything for them.
But if I have a friend that's like, it's my
birthday next Wednesday, And if you can't make it. I'm
gonna be pissed.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
That's not a friendship. That's like you're out. Yeah, that's
like five years old.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
I can't do it. I have no patience for it.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
No, and I never require that from other people. No,
if you can come, come, If you can't, that's great,
you know whatever. Next time, I'd.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Rather just then we'll go together and grab a drink
or go to lunch or do something else. Yeah, you know,
I don't. I don't choose people's plans on how they
actually feel about me.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
No, no, no, Amy, We would just like to say,
send a text, reach out, see what happens. But I
wouldn't count on it.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
But don't grovel, just say like I really miss you
and I apologize, but I'm what can I do that
We can get back together and see if we can
have some fun or but if she doesn't respond, move on.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, Amy, there's going to be other friends, right, Okay,
Dear Diamonds. I'm a guy with a big crush. I'm
a male co worker, and I sometimes get the vibe
that he might be into me too. We hung out
outside of work, but I'm but always in groups. I
want to be more flirty and make a move, but
I'm not sure he's into guys, and I worry it
could get awkward. Oh well, I got to tell you something.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
This is anonymous please yeah, anonymous.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Police, which I do too. Here's the thing, you got
HR issues. Don't do this if you don't think he's
into guys. Do not make this move at all. Oh
this is not a safe bet.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
This is at nineteen eighty seven. We've got to be
careful with the age on me.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Let me tell you something. You can't even tell anybody
they look cute. No, do you know that you're not
allowed to even comment on someone's presence, like wow, I
really like those shoes, or you look beautiful today, which
personally I like that. I don't appreciate that, and I
would have me too.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I appreciated that when you did that, when you got
when I got here today. Is that an HR issue?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
We don't have HR. I can guarantee that HR where guys.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
I'm complaining because Erica gave me a compliment today and I'm.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Offended well and also too. I mean, look, obviously you
don't want to take away from those who have really
been harassed and things like that, but telling somebody that
they look nice. I think is just like noticing that
they put time into their appearance.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Yeah, I agree, And also that you appreciate how they
appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
Yeah, that they're well taken care of.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Or you might like it. Hey, where'd you get that?
I'd love to get it right?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
But where'd you get your genes?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
In regards to the guy not being sure, I would
think that the other guy will come to you if
it's meant to be.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I just say, if you're not sure about one of
these things at work and it's in that work environment,
do not touch it.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah. If we were not talking about work, if we
were talking about you've seen him out.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Of all, of course that's a different story. But the
work thing, no.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Way, Nope. And then you have to sit like unless
you're planning on leaving and going to another job quickly.
But even then, if it's not an HR issue, it's
going to be an awkwardness issue. And it's not about
if he's gay or not gay. What if he's just
not into you? What if he is gay?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
But what if he's gay? But just it's like, yeah,
you're not my type. Yeah. Have you seen that balloon
show where they pop the balloons. No, it's so good.
There's several. Have you I'm sure you've seen it.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
I it's absolutely that's the whole show. It's like pimple Popper, but.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
Ball So they bring so they line up either all
guys are all girls and they bring you know, a
guy or girl in and then it's so good.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
You pop the balloon and then you're with whoever.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Well, they get to interview you. The host interviews why
did you pop your balloon? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
There's says the things, there's not my type, or I
didn't like his teeth, or I'm just not really into
guys like you.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
You know what, Teeth's a big thing for me.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I've always known that teeth is a no. I've always no,
I've known this about her. I've known this about her
for for teeth or you. And there's another there's a
male friend of mine who was my trainer for a
long time, Alfonso already teeth are a big thing for
him too. Yeah, you are the two people that stick
out to me that teeth are. Like you, guys both
immediately noticed teeth.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
I immediately noticed teeth. Am I saying that every person I've
ever known that I'm close with has perfection teeth, No,
but it is to me if somebody has a dazzling
smile and it's not a big bunch of veneers.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yeah, you notice those that you know what I was thinking.
I was getting ready today to come over here, and
Liyah and I were talking. We were talking about first appearances.
And you are someone that really takes in all things
about people. You can tell well, this is the thing
that people don't know about Teddy. She can tell you
what someone was wearing, like down from top to bottom.
(12:08):
She will know what they were wearing. That he was
wearing these jeans, this T shirt. Her hair color was
this dah da da da. I, on the other hand,
could not tell you anything that was happening. I don't know.
What I do know is how I felt about that person.
But she can tell you everything.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
But I also need a picture of every human I'm
ever speaking about, Like it would be helpful for me
if I anonymous, please Anonymous please, or Amy Amy, because
I think you can. If somebody's telling me a story
and I can't see the person, it's not to judge
the person, but it gives me more of an idea
of who the person is we're talking about. So like,
if you were telling me about a guy with before
(12:45):
she would even tell me the story, I'd be like,
can I see a picture?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Yeah? She's very much like that, you like I need
always you are that person.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
This one is. I have a friend who I've known
for over thirty years, so I love very much. She
could give the shirt off her back to you. Only
thing is she stirs up drama and can be very manipulating.
When she wants something and she doesn't want to come
right out and ask for it. What she wants, she
will do things like invite you over and cook you
a meal.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
To so offen you. I know this type, but she
does a lot.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
To get her way, and my opinion, the tactic is
very toxic. In my opinion, Anonymous, you don't like this person?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
Well, I think that Anonymous feels used, and that's a
lot of it. I think that you know, these friendships
that we have, I don't like that. I don't like it.
If you need something from me, just be straight up
and ask me. Don't try to soften me, because then
I feel like I'm being hustled and I don't like that.
It's like when.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
People text you like, hey, how are you? And then
the next text it and you're like you're good, I'm good,
how are you? Blah blah, and then it's like can
you do bab bla. Then I'm like, f off, just
ask me, like I'll text somebody immediately and.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Just ask for what I want. Yeah, that's my reason.
Hey Teddy, Hey Erica, can you x y Z? Yes
I can? Or no, I can't this person? Should this
person be honest with this friend?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
So do I keep the friendship and just keep him
at distance? No? If this person you think is a manipulator,
why even bother?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Well, she's fifty six years old and just doesn't want
to deal with drama anymore, and she considers this drama.
I'm anonymous considers this drama and if it's look, I'm
fifty four in like two months, I ain't fucking with
nobody that's giving me drama, and I can't do this
no paid Yeah, well that's a yeah, I can do
paid drama.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
But I think that you just take a little.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
But not listen. Friendships at this point in my life
are meaningful. Relationships are meaningful or they're not happening at all.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Yeah, I agree. I also think that. I'm curious if
Anonymous stopped reaching out to this person, if this person
would seek.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
A lo He's a very good point. That is a
very good point. Maybe if Anonymous just stopped all communication,
this person might quit.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
I think so too, because I think this person is
really just taking what they think they can get. And
if they think they can get something from.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
You, they'll keep trying.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
They'll keep trying. But if you just you don't really
care about the friendship, take a little take a little
fiver and see what happens.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, take a break because it's using the word toxic.
Stay toxic, but not like this.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Listen, I'm kind of over the word toxic. Not to you.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, no, it's old as hell, toxic, narcissist.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I'm over it. Trauma, trauma bonded, trauma bonded, none of it.
I don't want I don't.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Want it anymore either.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
I'm moved on.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Yes, we've moved on.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Well, now we're guess what. This one's from Anonymous too.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Guess what? And she's eighteen years old and currently in
a relationship with a man twenty years older than me. Ooh,
let me take this all that broke?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
I know I got so excited about.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Let me take this. Okay, Dear dim, I's at eighteen
years old and currently in a relationship with a man
twenty years older than me. So you he's what forty? Okay?
Both my family and friends are repeatedly telling me this
is a huge red flag and there's a reason he's
not with someone around his age. Okay, hold on, I
have an answer for that. I like him a lot,
and I feel really comfortable around him. I'm sure the
(16:18):
only problem is he's recently becoming more controlling. What do
you no way knows anything about that? Well, this is
tailor made for me. It feels like it feels like
he's being overprotective, but I'm not sure that his intentions
are good. My family and friends have distanced themselves from
me due to this relationship. I don't have anyone to
get so okay, So Anonymous, let me tell you this
(16:40):
is standard for one of these relationships. Number one, forty
and eighteen. Do I hate it?
Speaker 1 (16:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
No, I don't hate it. Is it a red flag? No?
Because this is what men do. A lot of them,
not all of them, but a lot of them. I'm
sure you feel comfortable around him because at forty men
have a sense of who they are. They're probably he's
probably accomplished, made some money, he's experienced, he knows what
he wants. He's probably not out running the streets like
(17:10):
a twenty year old or an eighteen year old controlling. Yes, absolutely,
And what he's doing is isolating you, my dear, and
then you end up, of course, your friends and family
fall away, and you focus solely on him. This is
what most men like this enjoy. This is what happened
to me. I totally focused on Tom, and you know,
(17:33):
a lot of my friendships fell away, and then I'd
ended up just being Tom's life and living Tom's life. Now,
I'm not saying that's going to happen here, but I
am saying that you're right on schedule.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Yep. And also here's the thing. It's to me. It's
not the twenty years older. But if you're with a
guy who's all this to me, something that Tom did
do is you didn't meet him twenty years older than
you and he had never been married before.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
I sometimes worry about somebody.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Who's never been connected, right, he doesn't have you, right.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
So let's check some past relationships that's what I would.
I would delve into that a little bit because we're one.
We're also not sure if he's thirty eight, thirty eight
and forty or big difference?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Do you think so?
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I do?
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I think the difference is.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I think forty. Like, if you're a man and you're
forty and you've never been married yet.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
It's a big deal.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
You're a red flag.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Yes, I think that if you're forty, you've been married,
you've had kids, or you've at least been married, you're
divorced or whatever, you've had a couple of blown.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Out thirty five, we can still fudge it, I think.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
I think so for thirty five, yeap, forty is a
little like.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
I see your point, But let's check into some past relationships.
If it seems like a very isolating time, then I'm
worried he may once you get a titch older, he
might be more controlling, and then he might get over
you and do this to somebody else.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
She's young though, this is an eighteen year old person,
I know.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
But what if he's That's what I'm saying. She can
start eighteen as well.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Oh, exes are eighteen, forget it. Run Yeah, But if
all of his exes are eighteen years old, and if
all of his exes by if he tells you that
all of his exers are crazy, then you have a
p and he's the crazy, the crazy one.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Also, is he hot?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
There are a lot of hot forty year olds.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
That's what I'm saying. If he's hot, more can be forgiven.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Of course, if he's hotter or paying your rent?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Definitely, is he hotter paying your rent? Hot paying your rent?
Speaker 2 (19:30):
You can look the other way for a long time. Girl,
you're eighteen, come back around when they want their rent
you're twenty one. Oh yeah, they will come back around
when you pay their rent.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
They will. Does he have a jet? Hold on? I
know what? This reminds me of what babe when Yolanda
sings if this was my plane, if this plane were mine.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
You'll Londa who Foster? What am I looking at?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
This is her music video to David Foster that I
hope Anonymous recreates for us and sends it. I'll post it.
I have never seen that, you know what? I like
to bring something new to the table.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
My god, your face if this plane were.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
I'm gonna put that out there for anybody.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
No why are we singing about a plane?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Because if this plane were hers, she could do anything.
She could travel the world. There's a lot that could
happen if.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
That's such an odd thing to sing about.
Speaker 1 (20:42):
So either way we're getting you know, anonymous.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Dad, i'd write a song about a plane.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
No do you think? He barely lets me ride on
his plane, and when he does it's filled with sig smoke.
Is he a smoker?
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Oh my yes, John, John, John should get you know what?
That's what? Oh my god, call your dad.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
They could talk each other's ears off and.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Smoke and smoke. They boo American spirits. I thought she
was smoking Pea funks, but whatever.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
She switched to American spirit.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
Okay, well, they could smoke American spirits, fly around on
the plane, talk each other's ears.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
But I wonder if his plane is big enough because
one time I went on a plane with Durie. We
were like it was like a sponsored thing. And we
got there and she was like this, hold on, and
she knew every detail about a plane, and she's like,
this is a bubble plane. I don't feel comfortable, And
I was like I do.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Well, look, the old Erica.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Probably wouldn't feel comfortable. But the new Erica is.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Like, let me on is fine with whatever. The new Erica, well,
it's not the it's the return to Derek. Okay, that's
what we need to do. We need to get your
father and Durite together. Oh I'm trying. It might be
a good idea.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
The problem also is, but Duri can't have any beverages anymore.
He doesn't like when girls drink.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Alcohol. Oh but she doesn't get crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Oh that's his thing.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
Like he just he's never drunk. He's not. It's not
like he's a recovering alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
He's just like, he's just not a drinker. Doesn't like it.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
But he feels like whenever he's in my opinion, girls
drink and then they get super chatty, I'm sure, and
he doesn't like it. And I don't think my sister
and I have helped.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
That theory, the drinking or the chatting, because we'll sit.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
There and we'll have champagne and then we're like.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Shut up. But maybe they could smoke cigarettes and talk.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
They've met, I mean they didn't meet, and like they
met with his girlfriend there, Hi, Kristen, Oh my.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
God, does she listen to the show.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I doubt it, So that's humiliating. Kristin. We love you,
but if it doesn't work out, we've got to read
here in the corner.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Wait, we're saying he really has a girlfriend right now.
I thought he was single. I'm over here talking like that.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Oh he has a girlfriend. Oh my god, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Sorry, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
I don't think Kristen's going to be upset about you
saying that one bit. Kristin is the coolest check ever.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I had no idea. Listen, I'm so very sorry. I
thought John was single. Now next questions, Oh God, here
you go. My husband suffers from anxiety, and it's very
(23:34):
up and down. We are in a down phase where
he has abruptly. He has anxiety about everything, but mainly
the future, dying, death, in general, his physical image. We're
thirty one, no kids and a dog.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
What do you we're dnk wads? What's dnk wad? Whoa
hold on? This is a PSA dink wads is.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Dual income no kids.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Listen, I'm I'm not interested in being a dink wad.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I would like to be a dink wad. I have
an adult kid and he's got his own shit, so
he's no problem.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
No, I don't know about dink wad.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
I'd rather just lots of income. Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
He talks to a therapist here and there, but so
against medication. How can I help when I do not
suffer from the same anxiety. You know what I suffer
from anxiety?
Speaker 2 (24:23):
So yeah, but you go and then I'll back them up.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
He wants to start exercising more. I want him to,
but he's really into golf. For me, the biggest thing
with my anxiety is I don't want people that don't
have anxiety to try to tell me how to fix
my anxiety.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
This is true, or tell me to relax, this is
also true.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Also, if you decided that you were okay with being
somebody with anxiety disorder, which I have beyond belief, then
you kind of just sit there and you go through
the waves. And as long as he's not being I
was going to say a dick wad, but that's not
a dink wad. As long as you not having a
dick wad to you during his anxiety and he just
needs a little love and support, give it to him.
(25:07):
And then also maybe say you could go on walks together.
You could do things together, but don't start trying to
coach him through his anxiety when you've never struggled with it.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
I agree with that, but also too, I think there
are some things I don't know how he feels about it,
Like there are some things you can do to take
away some of the effects of anxiety, like over caffeine.
I know this sounds stupid, but like even small things
can make a difference. If you're against medication, I'm on medication.
I had to. I was forced to, just not forced to,
but I really was. My life kind of forced me
(25:38):
into it, like I I couldn't do it without it.
I will say this. I remember when I had my
very first panic attack when I was thirty years old,
and I did not know what it was, and it
can be terrifying and until someone said to me, you know,
you'll never die of an anxiety attack, and that really
just took everything down for me. But a lot of
it is you see a therapist. You know he sees
(26:02):
a therapist from time to time. Make that more frequent
because that does help. And if you sweat and you
run around and you do some other things and hang
out with people that have anxiety, because they know what
it is.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
And also at this point, I have anxiety about even
going to therapy. But there are plays and this is
not an ad, but you can go to like places
like betterhelp dot com and you can see a therapist
online and not because booking appointments and doing all that
kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Sometimes I imagine where you are right now, everything is
really overwhelming.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
It's annoying. Like I'm so excited that I found someone
that could do my blood work right down the street
instead of driving to Santa Monica. Not that I drive,
but have somebody else.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Driving right exactly. You have someone here.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Yeah, so it's but just give them a little time.
And normally if you don't feel the pressure of your
significant other or person, it'll go away. But take action.
You got to move your body. You gotta breathe. You
have to move your body for me meditation or either
like I mean, I even go in the bathtub and
(27:01):
we'll put ice in it and like get that, like
and then it'll kind of go away. But if I
just lay there in my anxiety, it's very hard. That
being said, you're gonna have to have him called the
Dear Erica and Teddy Show because we don't want you
coaching him through this.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
No, you have to, And unless you've actually like had
one of those heart racing moments where you thought you
were literally I remember like feeling like I was coming
out of my skins. I felt like I was literally
going to come out of my body. That is the
most uncomfortable place to be. I felt like one time
I was gonna throw myself out of a window, like
I'm going way, way way back. It just like felt
(27:40):
very uncomfortable around things like that can be crippling.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yeah, it's social anxiety tied into it, then that's really strung.
If he also has social anxiety and it's infecting affecting
your relationships too. Just give him. Quit trying to make
him come with you.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
You can't go. Yeah, you cannot make him. That's a
really he has to take those baby steps forward and
it's not going to just go away. No, I agree,
dear Diamonds. I recently turned twenty four, left my soul
sucking corporate job, and I'm moving to Charleston. Oh, you're
gonna be on from DC for my boyfriend of five years, Yes,
(28:19):
boyfriend of five years. We also have a dog together,
so I'm hoping to get a ring by the end
of the year. Anyways, I have no idea what to
do for a career and feel so much pressure to
make a shit ton of money and have everything figured out.
Do y'all have advice for navigating your twenties OnlyFans and
if I should prioritize saving and stability or taking risks
(28:41):
and going on adventures like OnlyFans. No, she didn't say that.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
She didn't say it. We just added in the only.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Fans Jenna, And thank you for adding your name, Jenna.
Your twenties suck. I'm just gonna put that right out there,
your twenties. This is exactly where you need to be
in your twenties, not knowing what you're doing. Yeah, I mean,
I think that's that's par or the course of the twenties.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
I mean, what, how old were you when you started
Erica Jane or you started the Housewives?
Speaker 2 (29:07):
I returned to performing when I started my Ragadeen project
when I was like thirty four, yeah, and then Housewives
is like, how old am I forty three?
Speaker 1 (29:20):
Yeah? I'm I think I started Housewives. So that then
turned into the pod all in by Teddy. It all
kind of happened around the same time, and I think
I was in my early thirties.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, I think when you're you're early I remember my
thirtieth birthday and feeling certainly more comfortable in my own
skin on that day. So the twenties, I mean provided
here's the thing, Jenna, don't do something you can't course correct, right, Like,
don't do something that you know is going to impact
you for the rest of your life. That's bad. So
you're allowed in your twenties not to know what the
(29:52):
fuck you're doing. Yeah, and you're allowed to, you know,
discover yourself. So don't be too hard on yourself. Just
stay busy.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
And if boyfriend of five years is my can you
feel guilty about it and you're moving there and feeling
panicked because he lives in Charleston and blah blah blah.
But know what I have heard is pretty lucrative and
kind of fun to do while you're in Charleston is
be a real estate agent.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Really? Yeah, where'd you get this info?
Speaker 1 (30:16):
Well? I got this info from my sister's friend who
has one there. Oh, so she's like a younger cute girl.
She is a real estate agent. She makes good money.
She has small children. She's able to live her life
but also do what she loves. But I don't know.
If you're not into real estate, then this isn't a
great plan. But if you're totally just looking to make
some money, Charleston is up and coming with these beautiful homes.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Oh my god, Charleston.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
And it's not a long it's not a long process
to get your real estate licen.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
No in South Carolina is so open for business and
really easy to do business in.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Or just slide into Craig's DMS. Let us know how
that I just call chperro'se.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
We know Jenna has Jenna has a boyfriend, but she
may not.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
She may not when she's what Charleston has to offer.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
That's right, Charleston is great way to Charleston.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Let's go to Charles.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
I want to go to I haven't been in so long.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Okay, Dear diamonds, is it wrong to secretly meet up
for coffee with an old, close male friend, even though
spouse is very jealous? I feel like life is short
and it's sad to miss out on important platonic friendships,
but hard to navigate with a controlling I got a
question for you. This was anonymous.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Okay, can men be platonic? No?
Speaker 1 (31:31):
Can men? Or can men and women be friends?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
I have male platonic friends that are straight.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Yes, I aren't your.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
Bosses, that's right. I do. I have two or three.
It's never been inappropriate. They have their own thing. Now.
That is a very.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Very ram over twenty years, that's my point. But if
it's a new over twenty years.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
When you kind of start out together and you're doing.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
Like my high school friends, like we brought up chat Shep,
for example, I have been friends with since the seventh grade.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
I was gonna say middle school. So like SHEP is like,
there's no way Shep's gonna try, no fucking way, and
there's no way You're every like.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I'm never gonna be interested. It's like we've known each
other too long. But also, what is your need so
much to have these friendships if you know it's gonna
upset your controlling husband, if you're really wanting to move
on from the controlling husband, leave the husband.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
I think it's a yeah, you can't have your cake
and eat it too here because you're gonna pay the
consequences of meeting up with someone for coffee. If you're
married to control, you're really not into them. It's not
worth it. It's not it's not worth it. Don't do it.
And because you're just gonna pay, you're gonna pay, and
it's I I guess. Look, I'm also on the other
(32:47):
side of things looking back. Maybe you need Maybe this
person needs that sort of friendship or needs that and
is not getting it at home. But here's what ends
up happening.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
She's gonna fall them.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
No. But even if you don't, even if it's just
quote innocent, if that husband finds out the jealous control,
he's gonna assume it is exactly and then you're gonna
have to do all of this shit to convince him
that it is.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
It wasn't an affair, it was just a friendship.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
And you're emotionally cheating.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah, and you know what, at that point you may
as well just cheat. So it's this, just don't do it.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Don't do it.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
And if if your husband is if you love him
and he's an amazing guy, you can say to him.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Hey, I'm gonna go have coffee with so and so.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
You know, me and John, we're gonna get John's it. Also,
I think It's also dependent if the person lives in
town or not. Like if I were to tell somebody
that was a controlling relationship person, Hey, my friend Ben.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Who's coming in from coming into town.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
I haven't seen him in fifteen years.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Well I think also to look, we're grown women. We
should be able to be friends with everybody. But here's
what ends up happening. Certain things are us not worth
it. It's gonna cause problems at home, and it's not fucking
worth it. Now. If you're telling me, hey, I'm really
unhappy at home and I'm thinking about stepping out on
my husband, well that's another situation. But coffee, you're gonna
(34:15):
pay a price for that.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
You're gonna get in so many fights over a couple
of coffee. That's not worth it.
Speaker 2 (34:21):
I'd rather you fuck him and then just be like,
get some dick and be like, yeah I did.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
And cause a scandal in your town.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Anonymous, Well, maybe not even, But I'm just saying, at
least I'm not if I'm gonna get bitched at right. Yeah,
I'm gonna get bitched at one time for the stuff,
and I want to at least gain something, right, If
I'm gonna get cussed out in all this suspicion. At
(34:48):
least let me have had some passion about it.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yeah, for Pete's sakes.
Speaker 2 (34:53):
Not some flat white.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
We also listen, says looks sick. See check it out
sis sis.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Oh, we're saying cis.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Because we don't know our diet coke.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Our diet coke sas sis on the side. And then
there's like a little thing that we could sip, scan
and share. We don't know what any of this means.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Then we like Coca Cola.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Other than that we needed a soda because nobody got
us a flat white today or a non fat Hi,
which honestly I would have gone out to lunch for.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
Why do you do the non fat? Is it just
you don't like the milk fat? I don't like thick,
as I got it.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
But I also don't like like a the other stuff
that's not even milk.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
No, I don't like like an oa oat milk or
an avocado milk or some other shit that everybody's doing.
I just just drink.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
I drink milk when I was born, so I feel
like Milk's okay.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Did you like milk as a kid? I wasn't big
on it.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
No, I'm but I had it in my cereal this morning.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
Oh nice whole half skim skim.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
I always do skim, just because I don't like the
thick thickness.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Just you know, half and half in my coffee this morning.
I like half and half.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
You know what I do too? What if I'm at
a diner, I love how we just go off on.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
You know what's your diner order.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
My diner order, if I have no concerns, is scrambled
eggs with cheese.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
A side of hash brown Come on, waffle house. I
can see it, I can smell it.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Bacon well died, and a cur cooke crisp, a diet
coke and a side of soured dough toasts.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
Okay, the only change is not a diet coke a
regular coke, but the exact same.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
And then I mix it all together as if it's one.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
I don't mix it all together, but I have the
exact cheesy eggs, cheesy eggs, cristy bacon. Now you know what,
there's not a waffle house.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
No, there's not a waffle house here. And I got
all excited. They opened to Norms near my house. Where
is it it's closed, and Jerry's Delli's closed, like all
the options for this, And I got to tell you
these health food restaurants, they're terrible.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
They don't do they don't do it the same.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
They don't do it the same.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I also like a good old grilled cheese, like a nasty, gripy,
buttery grilled.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
Cheese dipped in uh, do you like it dipped in
tomato soup?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Not really? Just no? I like my I'm a pretty
I'm appuriance with my grilled cheese.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Okay, she's a purist.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
What about Mels? Do you go to Mells?
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I used to love Mels when I lived on Sunset.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
But there's one appear, isn't there.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
I don't like the layout for me. It's also it's
not I love ambiance, but no.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
No, I like it. Like when there's a real diner
with a counter. Yeah, I want to go on a
diner tour.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Sweet. Maybe that's our next thing. We posed giving advice
to people.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Local advice from macal, advice from diners.
Speaker 1 (37:52):
I've got a new show, pitch everyone.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Diner diner talk, diner talk, Oh my gosh, diner talk.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
I would rather go diner than dinner.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'd got to go to a din. I like diners,
me too.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Did anybody ask any of these questions? Know, they didn't,
But you guys can ask more questions for us next week.
But next week is not going to be advice.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Next week, you guys get to ask us questions and
grill us.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Well, I'm sure Erica will be open and ready.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
For Oh yeah, like Teddy, like Teddy, Teddy's going to
be hold back, Teddy.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
This is why we love each other. We're Yin and Yang,
Yin and Yang. Well, thanks guys for tuning in for
another episode of Diamonds in the Rough. Uh. We were
a touch ruff on the advice, but we think we're right.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
I think we're right.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
We're always right.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
We're conservative in our thoughts. You know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
Really think about the other person.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Well no, but I think that some of the advice
that we've given is like, you know, look, you're going
to pay for this. It's not worth it.
Speaker 1 (38:53):
We've most of these things we've already done. Fuck yeah,
we've already done, and we know what the aftermath.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
It's just not worth it.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
It's just not worth it, is what we have to
say here. Yes, thanks guys.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Thanks, guys, Stay toxic.