August 23, 2025 • 23 mins
College rush is now a growing business. Are Rush Coaches the real deal or ridiculous? Are they worth the hefty price tag?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life, with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
I'm Daisy and I'm jen and this is Dirty Rush.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Guys, we're back. We are that, and today we are
talking about a new phenomenon and it is called the
rush coach. I paid for both my kids for college advisors. Yeah,
and that was expensive. I'm picturing my daughter coming to
me and saying, Mommy, I need a Rush coach. I
(00:35):
think my response would be the Patty here Rachel nuts.
So you're going to buy the clothes you have, you
gotta get the tips, you gotta get the hair whatever,
and now I should buy a separate human who's going
to coach you through the process.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I'm like, what do they coach you on? Like, but
to talk about like what to wear, who to be,
how to do your hair?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes, I think so. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
I feel like it's almost like making you like somebody
that you're not. But I could be wrong. I mean,
I guess we'll have to talk to them.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yes, I mean, at least maybe it's just bringing out
the best version of yourself.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Hi, Laurie, Hi, how are you we're.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Very well and I'm I'm Daisy. Yeah, it's a pleasure
to meet you. And you are a rush coach. I'm
a rush You want to know all about that rush us.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
That's perfectly okay. I am the first person to coin
and use that term. So I'm very very proud of
my work that I have done over the last thirteen years.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Are you the first person to do this?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I'm not the first person to do this, but I
am the first person to bring this to light and
not make it very like hush hush, we don't talk
about this.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Yeah, which I love that because honestly, i'm kind of
I'm sorry, I'm confused on what like it exactly? Is
like do you essentially do to help these girls, like
get in a sorority or go through recruitment? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, and well how about first tell us where did
you go to school? And I'm assuming you were in
a sorority.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I was a big sorority girl. I am a KA
from the University of Texas and Olpaso, and I have
always been involved in my sorority, whether it was well,
we don't call it this anymore, but pledge educator. I
was also chapter president. I had also been involved in
(02:37):
the alumni association in Chicago here in New York City,
and I was also the recruitment advisor for one of
the chapters in Chicago as well.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
So very involved. Yes, extremely Okay, we are talking to
the perfect person about that went to cential sorority girl.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, yeah, tell us, just give us an overview, tell
us what you do.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
So, as a sororitysultant, I am here to just really
help a lot of young women experience a positive, you know,
coming of age kind of moment for a lot of
these women. They're stepping out from being like this high
school girl and stepping into their first taste of you know,
(03:19):
becoming a woman and going to college and figuring life
out on their own. And I'm here to provide a
positive experience for them. But along the way, I'm teaching
them some lessons. So a lot of things. My background
is in human resources. I've worked for major companies such
as this, Discovery Channel, Autism Speaks, the Adler Planetarium in Chicago,
(03:42):
and really helping with blending my expertise in human resources
and sorority life and just have blended those two together
to help them prepare for the chaos that is sorority rush.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
What made you think that this was something that you
wanted to do? Was there an aha moment where you
thought girls need me or had you heard about it?
How did you get here? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
So, when I was one of the recruitment advisors at
DePaul University in Chicago for the Cayamega chapter, I was
super involved and just noticed that the playing field wasn't
that even when it came to the sororities and the
potential new members, the girls wanting to join the sororities,
(04:29):
and I noticed that the sororities had a little bit
of an upper hand. And when I went through recruitment
in the nineties, it was completely different. I mean the
game is, especially with social media involved. It has changed
the narrative completely. And a lot of my girlfriends from
back home in Texas would call me and say, I
know you're still involved, can you help me my niece,
(04:51):
my stepdaughter, someone is going through recruitment and I need
your help. And I would just be on the phone
for hours explaining how everything works now, how things are different,
this is what they need to do. And my husband
at the time was not in a fraternity or anything.
And he just did not understand any of this, and
he said, what are you doing? Like what is this?
(05:11):
I don't get it. I don't understand it. And I
would explain it to him and he was like, you
should start a business. You're giving away free advice. And
I was like, huh, I actually never thought about that.
And I did a quick Google search and I saw
that there were two other people that had a website.
One was for this woman in Alabama and blessed her heart.
(05:33):
Her website was a little frumpy. It looked like a
little church bulletin. And the other woman, you know, like
I looked at her website and I was like, I
could do that, Like this looks really easy. And I
just put together a website and I had my first
client in twenty thirteen. She was a girl from the
Saint Louis area. She was going to school at Texas
(05:54):
Christian in Fort Worth, which has a big Greek life,
and she actually just got married two weeks ago.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
So very nice. So I'm curious. We're actually curious about
so much of what you do. But how many clients
do you have?
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Now?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Let me ask you that.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Right now, at this very second, I'm helping thirty young
women go through recruitment and is.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
This your full time job?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It is? Now okay, yeah, yeah, I amen. Wow, Well
we're going to get invasive or we're going to try
to But what do you charge for your services?
Speaker 4 (06:35):
So I charge usually anywhere between fifteen hundred and three thousand,
depending on the level of services that the girls need.
I also have colleagues I've hired on coaches to help
out at other universities because I can't be everywhere all
at once. And then they have their own fee structure
(06:58):
just because they're a little bit newer to the game.
They are priced at a little bit of a lower
rate just because I've been doing this for so long.
And then you can also pay to have me on
call during recruitment, which is another added fee along with that.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
So how long do you typically have these girls as
it just like from right before when they start recruitment
(07:33):
until the end or what's like the timeline you're with them.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
So usually I will start working with the girls. Usually
the parents will contact me or sometimes the daughters will
contact me in their senior year of high school, and
I start working with them probably in about the springtime,
so March right before they graduate high school, and then
we work all the way up until pretty much right now,
(07:56):
because recruitment at a lot of these schools starts in
less than two weeks.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Wow. Yeah. Do you find ever that there are girls
that you turn down that you think you're not really
a sorority girl necessarily, or this is going to be
an uphill battle for you, or do you have to
set expectations.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
I believe that everyone could be a sobrority girl. I
don't feel that we are meant to be boxed into
one specific thing. I feel like, if you are the
girl that loves Star Wars and a biochemical engineer major
and that's your jam, you can be in a sorority.
If you're an emo goth girl and you listen to
the Cure all the time, like you could be in
(08:37):
a sorority, you will find your place. But yes, I've
had to turn down clients not based on the fact
that I don't think that they'll fit into a sorority,
but because of just personality differences. Like I've seen girls
be rude to their mothers on phone calls and I'm like, no,
not taken that on. I've seen girls who try to
(09:00):
like I don't know, Like it's like this weird thing
where girls think that they can like use me for
some things, but then go behind my back and try
to do things their own way. And when I find
out about it, and I do, because I have lots
of little eyes and ears out there in the community,
I do find out about it. And then that's when
I say, you know what, I think we have to
cut ties?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Can you can you give us an example of that?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Like what do they like?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Is there like a specific example you have where someone
did that.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Like for when they try to go behind my back?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, I mean, and you know what the crazy thing is,
it's usually the.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Mom's Honestly, I kind of feel like that makes sense
to me.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Yeah, And sometimes it's the mom and daughter that team
up and do this kind of thing, you know. But honestly,
like I had just recently a mom who reached out
to me asking for Hey, you know, and this happens
all the time, Like do you have references of people
who have used your services before? I'd love to talk
to them. And I said sure, and I gave her
(10:00):
a few names with emails, and one of them happened
to be an older girl who's getting ready to graduate
from college. And the girl was super nice. Said I
loved working with LORI. She was amazing. I got into
my top house. Working with her was a great experience.
And then it turns out this girl was just really
(10:22):
messaging her a lot, to the point where my former
client got super uncomfortable. And then it comes to find
out that it wasn't the daughter, it was the mother
that was messaging her over the text message. Came to
find out about it, and it was just not a
good look, and it put me in a bad spot,
to be.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Honest, Yeah, definitely got it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Go ahead, Okay, See.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I am curious if I'm a girl finishing high school
and I call you or my mom calls you, and
I need your help getting into my top hout. I
was in alpha fe So say I wanted to get
in like alpha fie. What would you do to like
help me? Like, what are the steps? What do you
what do you do to help them?
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Well, first of all, I would say not to sell
yourself short by only looking at one sorority, because throughout
this entire process, your mind is going to be going
in so many different directions, and your mind is going
to change throughout the entire process, and quite honestly, you
haven't even met these girls yet. You don't know who
(11:30):
they are. So you could get to the Alpha Fie
house and meet them and be like, oh, I don't know.
I met these girls and they seem nice on Instagram,
but now I've met them in person and they're just
not my vibe.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
So I think setting those expectations very early on and
making them realistic about what they're going to be encountering
is really really important in setting that relationship with the
mother and daughter. My whole thing is that I'm not
here to promise you are in sorority, because I don't
believe in the world of this is a top sorority
(12:04):
or a bottom sorority or anything like that. I think
it's all relative and it's about your own experience. But
I'm here to make sure that you have a positive
experience in finding the right sisterhood for you. I don't
want buyer's remorse at all.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Yeah. No, that sounds smart because I'm guessing that a
lot of the girls that hire you are looking to
get into what's called now top tier sororities, and I'm curious,
do you try to talk them out of that goal.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Yeah, you know, I just don't buy into that whole level,
like this popularity thing. And to be quite honest, at
a lot of schools, the people that deem these sororities
as being top or bottom or whatever are the men.
And I don't think that they have a role in
saying who's top and who's bottom. And I do not
talk them out of it, but I let them understand
(12:57):
that they need to meet these girls firsthand in order
to make that decision for themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yeah, that sounds definitely smart. You mentioned Instagram. I'm curious,
do you go through the girls and their Instagram and
have them scrub what is not working or what is
not going to work?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Oh my goodness, if you could only see what I
see sometimes.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Oh my gosh, I'm so intrigued.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh my goodness. And you know, I always have to
remember what I was thinking when I was eighteen years old.
I was pretty insecure. I thought I was the ugliest
girl in the world. I was just, you know, not
like always positive thinking about myself. And I think a
lot of times girls today still have that mentality where
(13:44):
they just don't think highly of themselves and it's about
the clicks, and it's about the likes. And if they
take a hot bikini picture of themselves and it gets
a ton of likes versus a really amazing picture that
they drew for an art project, you know, I'm going
to have to go in and tell them, like listen,
I understand that this is kind of like what you're
(14:04):
going for and everyone does this, but you don't need
to be one note. You don't need to be one's
like just one thing, like you want to see what
your vibe is and if it's just bikini picks or
if it's just you lip syncing to lyrics that aren't
nice or pretty, then you know, first impressions go a
(14:26):
long way and that's going to stick with you. So yeah,
you really do have to go in and help girls scrub.
And you know, sometimes I go through the comments and
I see some things on there where I'm just like,
how I would imagine their parents look at these contents
and like some of them are not really nice or
flattering or anything like that. But we go through everything.
(14:48):
We go through their tagged pictures, their highlights, their their
reposts on TikTok, Like I look through everything and I
will to go through and say take this down, crop
this out, change this picture, archive it. Like, I'm probably
their worst nightmare when it comes to their social media.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
My question though, is, you know, I think it probably
is important for a lot of the sororities. They're looking
for what does this girl look like? Right? And let's
just get real, they want their sorority to bring the
boys in. I think that's just part of it. Not
for every sorority, but I think for a lot of them.
And I think that I'm picturing that these girls, if
(15:31):
it weren't for you, would be, you know, showing their
best selves physically. Yeah. And I don't know you you're
the expert, but I would think that that's necessary. I
don't know if you'd say to them, you need a
prettier picture, you do need a picture in a bikini.
Do you also give them that kind of advice?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
So I always tell them this. I'm like, if you're
going on vacation and you're going to post a bikini,
pick make sure that if you're going to carrossel your pictures,
add in like a table pic of you and your
family at dinner, Add in a picture of you and
your sister, you know, taking that surf lesson or I
know you and scupa diving with your mom, Like add
in some of those pictures along with your bikini picks,
(16:12):
like make it a little bit more versatile and you know,
show like you have a little bit more depth to you.
You know what I mean. Like I don't mind the
bikini picks, I just don't want it to be your
whole grid. Yeah, and you know, like I understand like
having that like look can be important to some people,
but it's not everything, got it.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I love that. I love that I didn't know what
to expect, like coming into talking to you, because I
honestly didn't know what uh sorority?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
What did you call it?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
A sorority?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Insultant?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
It's a consultant.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, But I feel like you're like really helping them
like be more themselves or like show more of who
they are, which I really like that.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I think I'm probably a little more skeptical and again
not I'm sure. I'm curious if you get blowback from
this position that you've taken on, because this is again
it's also new for me, and I'm thinking about the
fact that for each one of my kids, I paid
for a college counselor. And I was saying to Daisy beforehand.
(17:25):
If my daughter had said to me, Mom, I need
a sorority coach, I would have told her that she's
clearly lost her mind and she should find a second job.
If that's something that she's interested in, I would never
pay for it. Please don't think I'm trying to insult you.
It's just you know where where I'm coming from. So
I'm curious do you have to deal with that? Do
(17:45):
you deal with a lot of, you know, criticism in
terms of what you're doing. Oh?
Speaker 4 (17:50):
Absolutely, one thousand percent. And listen, I've worked with girls
who are like, I'm paying for this on my own.
My parents won't help me pay for that. And I
remember I did work with a girl who was from
the Northeast. She was coming from the East Coast, was
going to school down in Alabama. Did not have a
(18:11):
positive experience going through recruitment. She had nobody helping her,
she did not know what she was doing and just
had a horrible experience and in return just did not
have a good freshman year. She ended up hiring me.
I found out that she was working two jobs, and
she took a job at Jay cruse so that she
could use her discount to buy all her rush clothes.
(18:33):
And then I found out that her father was very ill.
And when I found all of this out, I was like,
you don't need to pay me anymore. Like I want
to do this for you because I personally experienced my
father passing away when I was a senior in college,
so he never got to see me graduate. And I
(18:54):
wanted her to not have to stress about that money
piece to it and have her enjoy her time with
her father over the summer. And she got into her
dream sorority after all of that. And there are people
who are very critical, thinking like what I do is silly,
or it's vapid, or it's unnecessary. But like I had
(19:15):
mentioned before, I'm teaching them a lot of skills that
they will use in college for internships, in leadership positions
and their sorority and beyond. So it's putting together a resume, networking,
putting themselves out there talking to women and asking for
a letter of recommendation rather than just being like, mom,
do it for me, Miss Stefanelli, can you do with
(19:37):
this for me? And I'm like, no, you are eighteen
years old. This is something that you need to learn
to do. I'm going to give you all the tools
and resources in order for you to be successful, but
this is something that you need to learn to do.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
And what about when one of your clients doesn't get
in to a sorority it happens.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I'm not going to lie. I'm not a one hundred
percent success rate. I have had girls that were unhappy
with with what had happened. But I always have a plan.
You know, we talk about what are our next steps.
Let's let's decompress. Let's take a step back, and I
want you to just relax a little bit. I want
(20:16):
them to just get out of that element for a
little bit and out of that headspace. And then in
a few days, let's come back. Let's look at everything.
We got a game plan. Let's look at the sororities
that you did enjoy. Okay, are you eligible for continuous
open bidding? If not, can you rush next year? If so,
what clubs can you join in your freshman year that
(20:38):
you can network with sorority women that will help you
get connected to them, Because that is what it's going
to be about, is her connecting to these women in
order to get herself into a sorority in that next year.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I love the part you said about like helping them
like gain skills for like their future. I think that's
so important.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I think that's great as well. Yeah, what a pleasure
to me.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Thank you so much for talking with us and congratulations.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah, you're an entrepreneur and to even have this idea
that this is something that young women need that is
pretty creative.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Thank you. I appreciate that very much.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Thank you for coming on. Good left to your girls.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Okay, bye bye? All right, miss Daisy. What'd you think?
I I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I'm like a little confused.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I mean, looking back, so you didn't know anything about rushing?
Would you have without have been helpful? Would you wanted
to hire her? No?
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Like absolutely not. But I kind of think, I mean,
I'm sure it's I wonder if it's like the schools
in the South that are like you do, like the
girls think like this this is like my only like
this is my life now getting in a sorority. But
I also think that's not Like I don't think girls
should look at like this is going to be my life,
Like my life is going to raise revolve around my sorority.
(21:57):
For me, I think that's the wrong way to look
at it, Like if you're not going to be in
a sorority, that you're still going to be Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You go, girl, I'm with you there one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Not for me?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
From like a mom's perspective too.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Not for me. And I like a lot of what
she said about, you know, coaching young girls and for
the future and how to really speak with and your colleagues,
and I love all of that. Not for me, I am.
I am not her because she seemed lovely and I
(22:31):
wish her lots of success. But the idea that you
have to pay money to have someone help you be
who you are or alter who you are right to
become accepted and not only that, guess what I mean
(22:52):
all of that that Let's say there's the rejection and
you don't do well during rush, that's okay, Like it
is okay part of life. Rejections part of life. This again,
I said, I paid for a college coach. I don't
know how how worth it that was. Yeah, this would
not have been on my dime. Yeah, but lovely woman, Yeah, Yeah,
(23:14):
A lot of people are very grateful to her.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Yeah for sure, right, yeah, And if they get in
this sorority, they want.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
And if they don't, they want their money better.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I know. I'm like, sure, you imagine, here's three thousand dollars,
like she gotten a noble. That's a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
That's a lot of money. I'm very open to the
fact that a lot of girls are very grateful for
her and that she makes the experience more seamless. Oh,
for for sure. I am constitutionally opposed to everything about that.
But listen, I'm a wrong a lot of the times.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah,
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life, with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
I'm Daisy and I'm jen and this is Dirty Rush.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Guys, we're back. We are that, and today we are
talking about a new phenomenon and it is called the
rush coach. I paid for both my kids for college advisors. Yeah,
and that was expensive. I'm picturing my daughter coming to
me and saying, Mommy, I need a Rush coach. I
(00:35):
think my response would be the Patty here Rachel nuts.
So you're going to buy the clothes you have, you
gotta get the tips, you gotta get the hair whatever,
and now I should buy a separate human who's going
to coach you through the process.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I'm like, what do they coach you on? Like, but
to talk about like what to wear, who to be,
how to do your hair?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yes, I think so. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
I feel like it's almost like making you like somebody
that you're not. But I could be wrong. I mean,
I guess we'll have to talk to them.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yes, I mean, at least maybe it's just bringing out
the best version of yourself.
Speaker 4 (01:10):
Hi, Laurie, Hi, how are you we're.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Very well and I'm I'm Daisy. Yeah, it's a pleasure
to meet you. And you are a rush coach. I'm
a rush You want to know all about that rush us.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
That's perfectly okay. I am the first person to coin
and use that term. So I'm very very proud of
my work that I have done over the last thirteen years.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Are you the first person to do this?
Speaker 4 (01:39):
I'm not the first person to do this, but I
am the first person to bring this to light and
not make it very like hush hush, we don't talk
about this.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Yeah, which I love that because honestly, i'm kind of
I'm sorry, I'm confused on what like it exactly? Is
like do you essentially do to help these girls, like
get in a sorority or go through recruitment? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yeah, and well how about first tell us where did
you go to school? And I'm assuming you were in
a sorority.
Speaker 4 (02:12):
I was a big sorority girl. I am a KA
from the University of Texas and Olpaso, and I have
always been involved in my sorority, whether it was well,
we don't call it this anymore, but pledge educator. I
was also chapter president. I had also been involved in
(02:37):
the alumni association in Chicago here in New York City,
and I was also the recruitment advisor for one of
the chapters in Chicago as well.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
So very involved. Yes, extremely Okay, we are talking to
the perfect person about that went to cential sorority girl.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yes, yeah, tell us, just give us an overview, tell
us what you do.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
So, as a sororitysultant, I am here to just really
help a lot of young women experience a positive, you know,
coming of age kind of moment for a lot of
these women. They're stepping out from being like this high
school girl and stepping into their first taste of you know,
(03:19):
becoming a woman and going to college and figuring life
out on their own. And I'm here to provide a
positive experience for them. But along the way, I'm teaching
them some lessons. So a lot of things. My background
is in human resources. I've worked for major companies such
as this, Discovery Channel, Autism Speaks, the Adler Planetarium in Chicago,
(03:42):
and really helping with blending my expertise in human resources
and sorority life and just have blended those two together
to help them prepare for the chaos that is sorority rush.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
What made you think that this was something that you
wanted to do? Was there an aha moment where you
thought girls need me or had you heard about it?
How did you get here? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (04:09):
So, when I was one of the recruitment advisors at
DePaul University in Chicago for the Cayamega chapter, I was
super involved and just noticed that the playing field wasn't
that even when it came to the sororities and the
potential new members, the girls wanting to join the sororities,
(04:29):
and I noticed that the sororities had a little bit
of an upper hand. And when I went through recruitment
in the nineties, it was completely different. I mean the
game is, especially with social media involved. It has changed
the narrative completely. And a lot of my girlfriends from
back home in Texas would call me and say, I
know you're still involved, can you help me my niece,
(04:51):
my stepdaughter, someone is going through recruitment and I need
your help. And I would just be on the phone
for hours explaining how everything works now, how things are different,
this is what they need to do. And my husband
at the time was not in a fraternity or anything.
And he just did not understand any of this, and
he said, what are you doing? Like what is this?
(05:11):
I don't get it. I don't understand it. And I
would explain it to him and he was like, you
should start a business. You're giving away free advice. And
I was like, huh, I actually never thought about that.
And I did a quick Google search and I saw
that there were two other people that had a website.
One was for this woman in Alabama and blessed her heart.
(05:33):
Her website was a little frumpy. It looked like a
little church bulletin. And the other woman, you know, like
I looked at her website and I was like, I
could do that, Like this looks really easy. And I
just put together a website and I had my first
client in twenty thirteen. She was a girl from the
Saint Louis area. She was going to school at Texas
(05:54):
Christian in Fort Worth, which has a big Greek life,
and she actually just got married two weeks ago.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
So very nice. So I'm curious. We're actually curious about
so much of what you do. But how many clients
do you have?
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Now?
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Let me ask you that.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
Right now, at this very second, I'm helping thirty young
women go through recruitment and is.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
This your full time job?
Speaker 2 (06:24):
It is? Now okay, yeah, yeah, I amen. Wow, Well
we're going to get invasive or we're going to try
to But what do you charge for your services?
Speaker 4 (06:35):
So I charge usually anywhere between fifteen hundred and three thousand,
depending on the level of services that the girls need.
I also have colleagues I've hired on coaches to help
out at other universities because I can't be everywhere all
at once. And then they have their own fee structure
(06:58):
just because they're a little bit newer to the game.
They are priced at a little bit of a lower
rate just because I've been doing this for so long.
And then you can also pay to have me on
call during recruitment, which is another added fee along with that.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
So how long do you typically have these girls as
it just like from right before when they start recruitment
(07:33):
until the end or what's like the timeline you're with them.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
So usually I will start working with the girls. Usually
the parents will contact me or sometimes the daughters will
contact me in their senior year of high school, and
I start working with them probably in about the springtime,
so March right before they graduate high school, and then
we work all the way up until pretty much right now,
(07:56):
because recruitment at a lot of these schools starts in
less than two weeks.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
Wow. Yeah. Do you find ever that there are girls
that you turn down that you think you're not really
a sorority girl necessarily, or this is going to be
an uphill battle for you, or do you have to
set expectations.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
I believe that everyone could be a sobrority girl. I
don't feel that we are meant to be boxed into
one specific thing. I feel like, if you are the
girl that loves Star Wars and a biochemical engineer major
and that's your jam, you can be in a sorority.
If you're an emo goth girl and you listen to
the Cure all the time, like you could be in
(08:37):
a sorority, you will find your place. But yes, I've
had to turn down clients not based on the fact
that I don't think that they'll fit into a sorority,
but because of just personality differences. Like I've seen girls
be rude to their mothers on phone calls and I'm like, no,
not taken that on. I've seen girls who try to
(09:00):
like I don't know, Like it's like this weird thing
where girls think that they can like use me for
some things, but then go behind my back and try
to do things their own way. And when I find
out about it, and I do, because I have lots
of little eyes and ears out there in the community,
I do find out about it. And then that's when
I say, you know what, I think we have to
cut ties?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Can you can you give us an example of that?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:21):
Like what do they like?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Is there like a specific example you have where someone
did that.
Speaker 4 (09:27):
Like for when they try to go behind my back?
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Yeah, I mean, and you know what the crazy thing is,
it's usually the.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
Mom's Honestly, I kind of feel like that makes sense
to me.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
Yeah, And sometimes it's the mom and daughter that team
up and do this kind of thing, you know. But honestly,
like I had just recently a mom who reached out
to me asking for Hey, you know, and this happens
all the time, Like do you have references of people
who have used your services before? I'd love to talk
to them. And I said sure, and I gave her
(10:00):
a few names with emails, and one of them happened
to be an older girl who's getting ready to graduate
from college. And the girl was super nice. Said I
loved working with LORI. She was amazing. I got into
my top house. Working with her was a great experience.
And then it turns out this girl was just really
(10:22):
messaging her a lot, to the point where my former
client got super uncomfortable. And then it comes to find
out that it wasn't the daughter, it was the mother
that was messaging her over the text message. Came to
find out about it, and it was just not a
good look, and it put me in a bad spot,
to be.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Honest, Yeah, definitely got it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Go ahead, Okay, See.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I am curious if I'm a girl finishing high school
and I call you or my mom calls you, and
I need your help getting into my top hout. I
was in alpha fe So say I wanted to get
in like alpha fie. What would you do to like
help me? Like, what are the steps? What do you
what do you do to help them?
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Well, first of all, I would say not to sell
yourself short by only looking at one sorority, because throughout
this entire process, your mind is going to be going
in so many different directions, and your mind is going
to change throughout the entire process, and quite honestly, you
haven't even met these girls yet. You don't know who
(11:30):
they are. So you could get to the Alpha Fie
house and meet them and be like, oh, I don't know.
I met these girls and they seem nice on Instagram,
but now I've met them in person and they're just
not my vibe.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
So I think setting those expectations very early on and
making them realistic about what they're going to be encountering
is really really important in setting that relationship with the
mother and daughter. My whole thing is that I'm not
here to promise you are in sorority, because I don't
believe in the world of this is a top sorority
(12:04):
or a bottom sorority or anything like that. I think
it's all relative and it's about your own experience. But
I'm here to make sure that you have a positive
experience in finding the right sisterhood for you. I don't
want buyer's remorse at all.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Yeah. No, that sounds smart because I'm guessing that a
lot of the girls that hire you are looking to
get into what's called now top tier sororities, and I'm curious,
do you try to talk them out of that goal.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Yeah, you know, I just don't buy into that whole level,
like this popularity thing. And to be quite honest, at
a lot of schools, the people that deem these sororities
as being top or bottom or whatever are the men.
And I don't think that they have a role in
saying who's top and who's bottom. And I do not
talk them out of it, but I let them understand
(12:57):
that they need to meet these girls firsthand in order
to make that decision for themselves.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yeah, that sounds definitely smart. You mentioned Instagram. I'm curious,
do you go through the girls and their Instagram and
have them scrub what is not working or what is
not going to work?
Speaker 4 (13:14):
Oh my goodness, if you could only see what I
see sometimes.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Oh my gosh, I'm so intrigued.
Speaker 4 (13:22):
Oh my goodness. And you know, I always have to
remember what I was thinking when I was eighteen years old.
I was pretty insecure. I thought I was the ugliest
girl in the world. I was just, you know, not
like always positive thinking about myself. And I think a
lot of times girls today still have that mentality where
(13:44):
they just don't think highly of themselves and it's about
the clicks, and it's about the likes. And if they
take a hot bikini picture of themselves and it gets
a ton of likes versus a really amazing picture that
they drew for an art project, you know, I'm going
to have to go in and tell them, like listen,
I understand that this is kind of like what you're
(14:04):
going for and everyone does this, but you don't need
to be one note. You don't need to be one's
like just one thing, like you want to see what
your vibe is and if it's just bikini picks or
if it's just you lip syncing to lyrics that aren't
nice or pretty, then you know, first impressions go a
(14:26):
long way and that's going to stick with you. So yeah,
you really do have to go in and help girls scrub.
And you know, sometimes I go through the comments and
I see some things on there where I'm just like,
how I would imagine their parents look at these contents
and like some of them are not really nice or
flattering or anything like that. But we go through everything.
(14:48):
We go through their tagged pictures, their highlights, their their
reposts on TikTok, Like I look through everything and I
will to go through and say take this down, crop
this out, change this picture, archive it. Like, I'm probably
their worst nightmare when it comes to their social media.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
My question though, is, you know, I think it probably
is important for a lot of the sororities. They're looking
for what does this girl look like? Right? And let's
just get real, they want their sorority to bring the
boys in. I think that's just part of it. Not
for every sorority, but I think for a lot of them.
And I think that I'm picturing that these girls, if
(15:31):
it weren't for you, would be, you know, showing their
best selves physically. Yeah. And I don't know you you're
the expert, but I would think that that's necessary. I
don't know if you'd say to them, you need a
prettier picture, you do need a picture in a bikini.
Do you also give them that kind of advice?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
So I always tell them this. I'm like, if you're
going on vacation and you're going to post a bikini,
pick make sure that if you're going to carrossel your pictures,
add in like a table pic of you and your
family at dinner, Add in a picture of you and
your sister, you know, taking that surf lesson or I
know you and scupa diving with your mom, Like add
in some of those pictures along with your bikini picks,
(16:12):
like make it a little bit more versatile and you know,
show like you have a little bit more depth to you.
You know what I mean. Like I don't mind the
bikini picks, I just don't want it to be your
whole grid. Yeah, and you know, like I understand like
having that like look can be important to some people,
but it's not everything, got it.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
I love that. I love that I didn't know what
to expect, like coming into talking to you, because I
honestly didn't know what uh sorority?
Speaker 2 (16:38):
What did you call it?
Speaker 3 (16:38):
A sorority?
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Insultant?
Speaker 4 (16:39):
It's a consultant.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, But I feel like you're like really helping them
like be more themselves or like show more of who
they are, which I really like that.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
I think I'm probably a little more skeptical and again
not I'm sure. I'm curious if you get blowback from
this position that you've taken on, because this is again
it's also new for me, and I'm thinking about the
fact that for each one of my kids, I paid
for a college counselor. And I was saying to Daisy beforehand.
(17:25):
If my daughter had said to me, Mom, I need
a sorority coach, I would have told her that she's
clearly lost her mind and she should find a second job.
If that's something that she's interested in, I would never
pay for it. Please don't think I'm trying to insult you.
It's just you know where where I'm coming from. So
I'm curious do you have to deal with that? Do
(17:45):
you deal with a lot of, you know, criticism in
terms of what you're doing. Oh?
Speaker 4 (17:50):
Absolutely, one thousand percent. And listen, I've worked with girls
who are like, I'm paying for this on my own.
My parents won't help me pay for that. And I
remember I did work with a girl who was from
the Northeast. She was coming from the East Coast, was
going to school down in Alabama. Did not have a
(18:11):
positive experience going through recruitment. She had nobody helping her,
she did not know what she was doing and just
had a horrible experience and in return just did not
have a good freshman year. She ended up hiring me.
I found out that she was working two jobs, and
she took a job at Jay cruse so that she
could use her discount to buy all her rush clothes.
(18:33):
And then I found out that her father was very ill.
And when I found all of this out, I was like,
you don't need to pay me anymore. Like I want
to do this for you because I personally experienced my
father passing away when I was a senior in college,
so he never got to see me graduate. And I
(18:54):
wanted her to not have to stress about that money
piece to it and have her enjoy her time with
her father over the summer. And she got into her
dream sorority after all of that. And there are people
who are very critical, thinking like what I do is silly,
or it's vapid, or it's unnecessary. But like I had
(19:15):
mentioned before, I'm teaching them a lot of skills that
they will use in college for internships, in leadership positions
and their sorority and beyond. So it's putting together a resume, networking,
putting themselves out there talking to women and asking for
a letter of recommendation rather than just being like, mom,
do it for me, Miss Stefanelli, can you do with
(19:37):
this for me? And I'm like, no, you are eighteen
years old. This is something that you need to learn
to do. I'm going to give you all the tools
and resources in order for you to be successful, but
this is something that you need to learn to do.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
And what about when one of your clients doesn't get
in to a sorority it happens.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I'm not going to lie. I'm not a one hundred
percent success rate. I have had girls that were unhappy
with with what had happened. But I always have a plan.
You know, we talk about what are our next steps.
Let's let's decompress. Let's take a step back, and I
want you to just relax a little bit. I want
(20:16):
them to just get out of that element for a
little bit and out of that headspace. And then in
a few days, let's come back. Let's look at everything.
We got a game plan. Let's look at the sororities
that you did enjoy. Okay, are you eligible for continuous
open bidding? If not, can you rush next year? If so,
what clubs can you join in your freshman year that
(20:38):
you can network with sorority women that will help you
get connected to them, Because that is what it's going
to be about, is her connecting to these women in
order to get herself into a sorority in that next year.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I love the part you said about like helping them
like gain skills for like their future. I think that's
so important.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I think that's great as well. Yeah, what a pleasure
to me.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Thank you so much for talking with us and congratulations.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah, you're an entrepreneur and to even have this idea
that this is something that young women need that is
pretty creative.
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Thank you. I appreciate that very much.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Thank you for coming on. Good left to your girls.
Speaker 4 (21:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Okay, bye bye? All right, miss Daisy. What'd you think?
I I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I'm like a little confused.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
I mean, looking back, so you didn't know anything about rushing?
Would you have without have been helpful? Would you wanted
to hire her? No?
Speaker 3 (21:35):
Like absolutely not. But I kind of think, I mean,
I'm sure it's I wonder if it's like the schools
in the South that are like you do, like the
girls think like this this is like my only like
this is my life now getting in a sorority. But
I also think that's not Like I don't think girls
should look at like this is going to be my life,
Like my life is going to raise revolve around my sorority.
(21:57):
For me, I think that's the wrong way to look
at it, Like if you're not going to be in
a sorority, that you're still going to be Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You go, girl, I'm with you there one hundred percent.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
What do you think?
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Not for me?
Speaker 3 (22:07):
From like a mom's perspective too.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Not for me. And I like a lot of what
she said about, you know, coaching young girls and for
the future and how to really speak with and your colleagues,
and I love all of that. Not for me, I am.
I am not her because she seemed lovely and I
(22:31):
wish her lots of success. But the idea that you
have to pay money to have someone help you be
who you are or alter who you are right to
become accepted and not only that, guess what I mean
(22:52):
all of that that Let's say there's the rejection and
you don't do well during rush, that's okay, Like it
is okay part of life. Rejections part of life. This again,
I said, I paid for a college coach. I don't
know how how worth it that was. Yeah, this would
not have been on my dime. Yeah, but lovely woman, Yeah, Yeah,
(23:14):
A lot of people are very grateful to her.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Yeah for sure, right, yeah, And if they get in
this sorority, they want.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
And if they don't, they want their money better.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
I know. I'm like, sure, you imagine, here's three thousand dollars,
like she gotten a noble. That's a lot of money.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
That's a lot of money. I'm very open to the
fact that a lot of girls are very grateful for
her and that she makes the experience more seamless. Oh,
for for sure. I am constitutionally opposed to everything about that.
But listen, I'm a wrong a lot of the times.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
Yeah,
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