August 16, 2025 • 35 mins
Rush is on and some play by the rules…and others get dirty! Hear how the frat boys play a role in who makes the cut and who doesn’t.
Our sorority sisters dive deep into the rush lingo to help educate you.
Is this really a sisterhood or are co-eds learning some tough life lessons too soon.
Call us at 844-278-RUSH (844-278-7874)
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Serriti Life with
your hosts me Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler.
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
We are so excited that you guys are loving this
podcast as much as we are. And Rush is happening
(00:23):
right now for a lot of schools, so we are
ready to dive deep. We know people have been wanting
this kind of show for years, and we're so glad
that you're responding, calling in, leaving voicemails, and sharing your
own Rush experiences with the good and the bad. So
let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm Gia Judice, I'm jen Fessler, and I'm Daisy Kent.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
All right, guys, So we've had a lot of people
calling in. Let's listen to our first caller.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Hi, there, my name is Rosie. I want to call
in and leave them constructive feedback. Like Fessler had mentioned,
this is a huge untapped market and there is a
lot of taboos about talking about the sorority experience, and
I think it would be super helpful if you all
talked about it from a nationals perspective as well, like
(01:18):
why we aren't really allowed.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
To talk about sorority life and why we're not allowed.
Where are letters and the press and those types of things.
And then also there was some lingo that I think
if we could break down a little bit better, like
what a press actually is, what a bid actually is,
what a pledge is, what a mixer is, those very
(01:42):
things that we talk about in the sorority world. And
I think it would be just really helpful for the
girls in terms of how to make an informed decision
about joining sorority life or not.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
And of course it.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Goes campus to campus, is not a one size fits
all approach. But if you are Teresa, Judice.
Speaker 6 (02:03):
Or and you know a mama or dad that is
new to the sorority life or girl that's new to
sorority life, what that looks like for you. And I
think giving these behind the scenes facts is so helpful
for women that are that are thinking about joining this experience.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
There's a lot okay, dirty rushing.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I thought it was sort of now, not when I
was going through it, but when you rush before school
even started, right, And like that whole rush process I
hear in a lot of schools happens before rush.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, so my ver. My definition of like dirty rush
was when like kind of like playing dirty. So when
we were at Rutgers first semester, we would almost kind
of get recruited by a sorority who had interest in us,
but behind closed doors so kind of try to They
(03:06):
were basically trying to persuade us to go to a
sorority before the rushing process started, so that our minds
were made up before going through the recruitment process.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Okay, Mine was kind of like because we did recruitment
right when we got to school. I think we were
at school like maybe like two weeks and then we
went into recruitment. And so I would say ours was
at San Diego State. You would like go out to
all the frat parties and meet all the frat guys.
None of the like actual sorority girls could go out
(03:41):
because I don't know, you weren't allowed. That was like
your like dry period or whatever. And so you would
go and you would meet all these guys and they
were older guys like in the frats, and then they
would all tell the sorority girls like what girls they
thought were like cool and fun to hang out with
and stuff like that. Both were going to the parties,
and I had no idea that was happening. And then
(04:03):
I remember when I was like sophomore, and I was like,
oh my gosh, this is crazy, but it was so fun. Honestly.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Wait, that's a wild definition of dirty rushing. Having the
frat guys do your homework literally doing this sorority home
wark right.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I'm they were probably basing it off of something sort
of physical, that's just my guess. Yeah, fairly interested in
what you were majoring in.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Probably, yeah, probably.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
What about you guys? What about this other lingal rogamma rogramma?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Okay? For me, that was like when you get divided
into groups, so like you sign up for recruitment and
then say, there's a they have like a bunch of
ro gramma gammas. So I was with a group of
like ten girls and then we have one ro gamma
and she's already in a sorority and girl in a sorority.
You don't know what sorority she's in, but she's trying
(05:04):
to like help you navigate it and help you find
the best like place as the best like home and
fit for you.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, she's she's in a sorority, but she doesn't have
any she doesn't try to influence you.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No, they can, like they're not allowed.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
So there anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
No, No, you don't find out until the end. I
mean you'll try to guess who, like what sorority they're
in as you're going through recruitment, but they're basically in
charge of like little groups. Like Daisy said, my definition
was pretty much the same thing, except I didn't call
them rogammas. They were called pie key's My guys.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
We didn't have any of this.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
No, you didn't have someone like leading you and directing
you through, like to houses and stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I mean, we definitely had people leading us through, but
there was no I don't remember talking to anyone, but
you know, the girls that I was grouped with, it
wasn't nobody was giving advice or you know, No, I don't,
And if there was someone, we didn't call them rogammas.
We probably just called them that nice girl who's helping.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, honestly, it was so helpful. I remember it. I
forget the name of mine, but she was so insanely nice.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Really, Yeah, No, I mean they were definitely super helpful,
and it was so funny because during the recruitment process
we would all try to guess what sorority they were
from and what sorority they were in, and basically at
the end they would all reveal which sorority they were in,
and everyone freaked out and like clapped their hands. It
(06:41):
was honestly kind of stupid, but I mean everyone, like
everyone got like so high, like learning what sorority they
were actually in and when they like revealed their identity.
But it was I don't know, some of the things
really made me make me say, yeah, literally.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Out where they're what other lingo I think she asked
what a bid was.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Okay, so a bid is basically when you are wanted
by the sorority, right.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, so like at the end, I remember,
we got a little card and you like opened it
up and like that was my bid to be an alpha.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
Fy.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, And then I guess technically during I guess, as
you get called back, I guess that's not really a bid,
but I yes, it's like when the sororities are also
showing interest in you that they want you back, so yeah,
hoping to get a potential bid.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
At the end, for sure.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
We're either one of you guys on exact boards, I
was you were.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah, So I mean one they say it looks great
on your resume, so yeah, is something good just to
have like under your belt. But you know, you can
obviously be the president, the vice president, treasurer, take one
of those lead roles on but they do take a
(08:15):
lot of responsibility. So I wanted to do something that
was a little more fun and maybe not as much responsibility.
So I was Special Chair of Events, So I basically
coordinated like all of our big events, which I like
doing anyway. I kind of like party planning. So I
(08:37):
planned like our b Mock, which was big man on
campus for at Rutgers, and that was like our breast
Cancer Walk because that was our philanthropy breast cancer. And
so I planned b Mock parents Weekend and a lot
of the bigger events that Zeta would do at Rutgers.
So that was a super fun, like little position to
(09:02):
have on the on the board. But I wasn't like
an exact because wasn't the exacts like that's like the
first here, and then.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I would there's like ones under it.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, so I was the ones like under it. But
then exec is like the people who are all sitting
at the front during your chapter meetings.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yeah, yeah, I did chair your rush chair rush Chair,
Oh my gosh, probably so fun.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, and I I wrote all of these songs to
you guys probably don't even know West Side Story like
back in the day, but I wrote all when You're
a PI, You're a FI all the way, like all
of this, like the dances, and that was.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Like you were definitely a nice rush chair.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, rush chair was, well what is it?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I mean back then I was rush chair meeting that
I was like I was in charge of like all
of the skits.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah, like putting together Yeah that's your little dances.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Right, Yes, that's what it is, right, I mean I
start didn't do anything like I think.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
It's also mainly now also like going through the social
media and the snagrams and finding your potential recruits that
you really want.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
So you didn't have social media, you guys. It was
a whole different world. It was a group of girls
showing up a big group and us singing West Side
Story and hoping that they were going to think that
we were fabulous. It was just so different.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, it is so different with social media. I was
on an execue, I did panelnic delegate, so I like
went and met with the school and met with Panelonic
when they came in and talked to them. So that
was really interesting because our.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
School to get mixers approved.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, and like if you're you were on like probation
or something like that, if your sorority or whatever, it
was because you would show up to the meeting at
school on campus and and it would be like all
the other sororities there too, which it was fun because
I was friends with a bunch of girls and other
sororities too, so it was kind of a way to
like mix some mingle that way too, and you could
(11:11):
like pair up with a sorority and like do things together.
So it was fun. But I definitely like I always
knew like the tea that was going on, I felt like.
But then I also had to like do accreditation for people.
So accreditation was like I think a good thing about
sororities is that they like they make you do community service.
You have to keep a certain GPA. So I was
(11:32):
in charge of like tracking all of that and making
sure girls got the amount of community service they had
to do, making sure they were still at like a GPA,
and then making sure they went to like certain events
that like supported other philanthropies too. We did that, So, yeah,
that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Did you enjoy it? Would you suggest it?
Speaker 7 (11:52):
So?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I actually I wasn't gonna do it, and then they
like needed somebody and people were asking me to do it,
and I was like, Okay, I guess I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
So a little forced, yeah, but honestly, I like, I
think that's kind of how I did it too.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
I can't see me like just volunteering on it and
it kept having more responsibility.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, I think. Do you know what I think is
the hardest job on exec is risk chair? Oh my god,
I know that's.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Where you I think from what I remember my son
because I think he did. Don't you sit outside of
parties for boy?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Is that what that is? And you can't kind of
you're just like you're in charge of like the girls
at your sorority. So if someone like is in like trouble,
or if someone like drinks too much, if something like
that happens, like you're the one, like people are always
like able to call kind of and at like pref
and like formals, you're in charge of like being the
(12:50):
one kind.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Of you have to be sober, Yeah, yeah, your risk chair.
You have to be sober at these events. And I mean,
of course, you know times maybe they'll sneak a drink
or too, I think, and you're always the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, you're always the bad guy. That's why I think
it's the hardest like one to be because you always
have to be like keeping ever.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Only remember that for my son, like he'd be on
a cell phone like outside whatever party, Like this sucks.
I don't know why I volunteered for this.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I mean because he probably had a monitor who was
coming in and out of the frat.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
It's not a fun not a fun job.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah right, So any other lingo you guys, I mean,
I'm sure we're gonna.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Come up with dorm storming dorms, which this is like interesting,
but like I don't think this was a part of
like my recruitment process. I think it was just the
normal thing to do when you were a freshman. So
apparently dorm storming is it's basically going from door to
(14:03):
door in your dorm or residence halls to basically like
interact with the people on your whole, like on your
whole and.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Just like.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Kind of recruit them for recruitment, But I don't think
anyone ever did that. Like I think it was mainly
like for us going into my freshman year, it was normal.
Like I remember I was setting up my dorm room
freshman year and one of my good friends was a
cheerleader at Rutgers, and she like just walked into my
(14:34):
dorm and was like, hey, so, like I'm a cheerleader
here at Rutgers and was like so kiddy, And I
was like, oh my god, what is going on? But
she's been she was like at Rutgers all summer because
she was training and like practicing for the cheer team.
So she was like so excited when we all moved
(14:55):
in because she's like, I've been so lonely all summer,
Like I'm so excited to meet new friends. And I
think it was just the normal thing to do as
a freshman, just kind of knock on everyone's door, introduce
yourself and kind of get to know people just going
into school. I don't think it really had anything to
do necessarily with recruitment. What do you guys think, I
(15:16):
honestly have never heard of that before. But but you
did the same thing right on when you were a freshman.
You kind of went to people's doors, introduced yourself, made
the friends of people on your whole one.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Hundred percent, and we kept our like dorm door always opened,
Me and my roommate Christy. It's actually funny. Thor, my
boyfriend was my next door neighbor in the dorm.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
That's so funny, and so you probably met him by
watch your boyfriend's name door.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I loved Daisy and Thor. That's like its own episode.
We're gonna talk about that.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I was like, it was funny when we were moving
in together because people were like, oh, how is it
like moving in together? And I was like, well, you
know when I was nineteen. He definitely saw me at
my worst and my best in the dorm room next door.
So I was like, I don't think I can be
most much worse than that.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
He saw it all.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
What about a suicide bid that was a risky thing.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Oh yeah, So that's like when you only I mean
from my knowledge because I remember a roguam like telling
us not to do this. It's when you only put
like one sorority. So say you're on pref preface is
the last night before you go to get your bid
and you have two sororities and I didn't want one
(16:36):
at all, but I wanted the other one, and I
only put like Alpha FY and I didn't put anything else.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
And they know that then that they know that you're
like yeah, all.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
In yes, because then if you only put down one
like during like on PREF day, like after you go
to the voting room and you kind of rank which
sorority you want from great is to lease? So one
two three and or is it two for PREF or
is it three?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Do you guys remember you mine was two the only.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Reason, so okay, so then it probably is, oh yeah,
because I prefed I think GFI and ZATA, so I yeah,
I think it is maybe two. And then if you
only put one sorority down and that sorority ended up
not choosing you, then you you get into nothing. So
(17:33):
that's why it's called suicide bid, because you could potentially
risk not getting into a sorority at all. So you
just went through this whole process and then you could
essentially like end up with nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
And I think it's because the sorority, I don't think
they necessarily know, but Panolynic knows. Because Panolymic, it's like
the sorority will put their bid in for you and
then you put what you want in and then it
kind of like matches up that way. But Panelmtic I
think hates it when you do just one. So I
think that that's part of the reason why too.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
It's like I don't know how to extend. It's like
so much. I'm like thinking back to that time, I'm like, whoa, imagine,
imagine And I think, probably, Daisy, it was better that
you didn't know anything going in every way. Honestly, yeah,
I think I would have been like losing my mind
a little bit. But also I think San Diego State
(18:31):
like is not as intense at all as like other schools.
So I mean at first when I first went in,
I was like what am I doing? And then I
suck with it because my roommate and like, I'm so
happy I did. I ended up having the time of
my life. Let's in the collar, hi, Grace.
Speaker 8 (19:02):
Another interesting element is I have a younger two younger sisters.
One of them went through Rush two years later while
I was at school, and one is going through rush
right now. But the interesting thing is that my sorority
actually dropped both of.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Them in the first You actually just reminded me of
something that I was gonna say to you that during COVID, though,
that was also of something that happened very often they
screwed up, kind of like the legacy you know of
a sister when, because it doesn't matter across all boards,
(19:42):
say your sister didn't even go to the same college
that you went to, she should always have that legacy
of getting into that sorority wherever. So they really screwed
that up. I know for a fact COVID during COVID
and not during COVID. It seems to be always a mistake.
Speaker 7 (20:02):
But wow, that would have been interesting somehow.
Speaker 8 (20:06):
I think that happened at my school too, where it
just messed up the way that they did things to
where legacy really was not as important as it may
have used to them. And that is something that really
put me off.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
And just that's true.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Contact your sorority after.
Speaker 8 (20:24):
Yeah, I did, and they had zero good excuse for it.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
They were like, oh, it must have just slipped through
the cracks.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Yeah, you guys, where do when they vote now? Like,
because that would have never happened back in the day.
A sister forget it in a way. But that was
also a time where you everybody will put their heads
down and you would like raise your hand. Like it
wasn't like social like you can vote now, is there
like an app that you can vote on? So like
(20:52):
it's so anonymous.
Speaker 8 (20:53):
Yeah, that's what the US in ours as you like
rank people through an app, and a lot more of
it is done through technology.
Speaker 7 (20:59):
So maybe that's how people kind of slipped through the crocs.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
But what what was that app called I forget.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Not remember for the life of me, But it was.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
And yeah, it was like a whole system.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah no, I just there was that would not that
wouldn't have happened. I don't think when I went on paper, Yeah, yeah,
when I went in, it was a three computer. We
had three Three of my best friends were already in
a FI because I was a transfer student, and it
was just nobody was going to go I mean, there
were three of them, so nobody was going to give them,
(21:34):
you know, any shit. So it was kind of like
a shoeing. But I but even like that, like if
you had a mother that was a FI you were
getting in.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (21:45):
See that's an interesting thing too, because I had an
aunt that went to the same school as me, and
she was like, oh, you definitely will be able to
get through and just be a kapa because that's what
she was. And no, they dropped me both times.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
It would be interesting to like see how Greek life evolves,
even like in the next like ten years.
Speaker 8 (22:08):
I know, I think so too, because it's weird. I
feel like I've seen so much change in the years
that I was in.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
School, and yeah, it seems to be evolving a lot.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
So oh one hundred. I think sororities used.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
To be more fun back in back, probably when you
were in a sorority jet than they were now, I
mean than they are now.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, it was fun, but there was other you know,
there was other shitty things that happened back then that
wouldn't happen today, right, I mean, you know, just a
lot of stuff like the mixing with the frats and
you know, getting called and like standing in front of
the house like when you got your bid and then
I think I told you guys about this couple episodes ago,
(22:51):
but like all the boys would show up and like pick,
I don't know, there was a bunch of just yeah,
that's crazy, like just in case you had self esteem
for a minute, because you got in like next the
next minute, you're the only one without Maybe this is
just my experience without a date. I mean that was right,
but yes, but I mean it was now we didn't
have to contend with a lot of the stuff. I
(23:12):
don't even know how you guys do it now. It's
a lot, especially looking at these schools in the South
and what's going on. It's absolutely over the top crazy, right, Yeah, and.
Speaker 8 (23:22):
That's pretty insane and just I think the social media
elements crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
If you don't mind me asking what school was.
Speaker 7 (23:29):
It, I don't think. I don't think I want to say.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Okay, no problem, but you were you said it was
down south though, Yeah, so it was really intense.
Speaker 8 (23:42):
Yeah, big Texas schools and and so just very intense.
And the moms even are very intense. The whole ordeal.
It's just I don't know, to a certain extent, I
liked it, and I gained a lot of great friends
out of it, but looking back, there's so much superficialness
(24:04):
to the whole thing that just makes me feel a
little bit icky.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
That's why I feel like it used to be way
more authentic than what it is now.
Speaker 7 (24:15):
Yeah, definitely, it.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Was always superficial though, Guys. There was always a level
of that I think.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I mean, yeah, I feel like it is, and then
you got to get like past that and find your
like good friends.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
Yeah, it's definitely the core of all of it. Once
you find like your friends from it, that's what you meant.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, so your sister and your cousin aren't in it
right now. I remember when my sisters were rushing. I
was so nervous for them. So you probably feel the pressure.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
Yeah, I am feeling the pressure a little bit. I
mostly just feel for them so much because I know
how it feels to go through the process.
Speaker 8 (24:57):
And have it go really poorly or have it go
really well. Even when it is going well, it's not
a cake walk like. It still is intense and it
brings up so much emotion. So they have both been
calling me constantly in tears, are so happy, and it's
such a rollercoaster, you know, And so I'm trying to
(25:17):
support them through the best I can, and luckily I
can empathize. So that's definitely something that's been really cool
throughout the whole process. But mostly I'm just excited for
them to be done with it and start school and
get to actually feel the benefit of the crazy process
that they've been through. But one of them, my sister,
(25:40):
it's going really well for she's gotten maybe not all
the houses back, but a lot of the.
Speaker 7 (25:47):
Ones that she likes.
Speaker 8 (25:48):
And then unfortunately my cousin, it's a little bit more
touch and go.
Speaker 7 (25:52):
She's not sure about the houses that she had back.
Speaker 8 (25:55):
Originally she got all I think it was ten that
you could get in the first she got ten backs,
she was kind of on top of the world. And
then actually this morning she found out that she got
I think only three out of six back for the
next round. So I know that that's been kind of
hard on her.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
It's crazy that drop that can happen.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, I know it's.
Speaker 7 (26:19):
Because, I mean, getting ten back that's pretty rare. It's
a big deal.
Speaker 8 (26:24):
Yeah, So to go from ten to three, I mean,
my heart just hurts like that never feels good, even if.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
She's so glad she has you though, what.
Speaker 8 (26:36):
I'm really glad that I can help them through it
because I know that when I was going through the process,
I really wish that I had more people that I could.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Kind of lean on.
Speaker 7 (26:44):
Who had gone through it and understood.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
And maybe there is something to be said for these
sorority coaches. Maybe there is, like, you know, something to
have somebody who actually does it professionally and understands what
can happen at any given moment and can kind of
coach you, you know, through it a little bit and help
out just the whole the emotions of it all.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Maybe if it's a nice sorority coach, they're looking out
for your mental health and not maybe what color you
should change your hair. I mean, at least you went
through kind of I guess both experiences grace, like you
had one that wasn't so great and one that obviously
it got better at the end. So I feel like
(27:27):
that definitely, you know, is helping your cousin out right now,
because even if things don't go as planned for her
right now, just tell her to try again.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
M M. I know, I think that could be good.
And they have Cob and all of that, so I
know that she'll be fine and if it's meant to be,
she'll find that home eventually, and who knows even through
Oh my god, yes.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
The COB is you just brought up another sorority wit good.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I said, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 7 (27:56):
So continuous open bidding, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah, like you basically just kind of get accepted in.
Speaker 8 (28:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
It's if you're it's after rush and they have a
couple of girls that they can bring in if they want,
but typically it happens this semester after Yeah.
Speaker 8 (28:16):
I think it's if the sorority doesn't meet their quota
or if some people like end up accepting a bid
but then not going to the situation, they'll have extra
spots and they'll kind of like just yeah, it's a
much chiller process, so kind of just.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Be like they don't have to do anything. They just
walk in the door.
Speaker 7 (28:36):
You know, she wants to be a theater or whatever,
and they're like welcome.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
What does it stand for?
Speaker 7 (28:41):
So you'll be continuous, got it? So that's always a
good option too. I wish I could have done.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That would have been so much.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You know, I hope your cousins experience only goes up
from here, and I'm happy that your sister yes doing great.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Wow, Okay, you guys. I feel for her obviously. I
feel for her cousin and her sister, But to be
outside of it and somebody you love is going through it.
And again I mean I had a daughter go through it,
and it's a different experience. It's almost harder.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I think.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I don't know, it's just knowing that, like I wanted
anybody that was going to reject my daughter Rachel, they
had to die a slow and painful death. It's still
like that, like she doesn't get a job, or she
doesn't get the boy. That has to No, it has
to be slow and painful. That person is dead, must
be wiped off the map. So like you know, is
(29:56):
a mom of it or cut like you want the
whole sorority, especially if it's your sorority. Imagine your own
sorty is rejecting your sister.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
No so much?
Speaker 4 (30:04):
No good?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah No, I definitely believe that it's harder as a
mom watching it because I even I think about my
mom and like anything I've gone through in my life.
I remember one time she told me, she said, anything
that I go through is ten times harder than anything
she's ever gone through, like for her like watching and
having to like watch me go through it if I'm
(30:27):
like going through something hard. So I totally believe that.
And my little sister too, someone does her wrong.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I'm like, yeah, I want a pound.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, you guys see that.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
There's a TikTok right now of this mom who has
life three sixty or whatever it is. So she's following
her daughter through the process. She's like, Okay, now she's
at I don't know. Now she's at theta. Now she's
oh my god, why did she stay in theata for
so long? Why didn't she walk out?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
You guys, No, it's it's a little girl.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
I feel like I might have done that if it
was if it wasn't all on zoom. But she's like
freaking out, like, wait a second, wait a second, why
is she out on the porch. Why isn't she going in?
She taught like just the whole thing is so.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Hyper and honestly, yeah, yeah, I mean I think right now, obviously,
even for Grace and her cousin and her sister, I know,
it feels like the end of the world. But after
college or even after your freshman year, literally it doesn't
even matter.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
It doesn't matter. It's like it's such That's why I
hate how like it's it's like.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
A fever dream in yeah, but then it goes away
no matter.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
What you are going to be okay, like if you're
in a sorority, if you're not in a sorority, you're
going to be fine, Like everything is going to be amazing.
But it's like in that moment for some people.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
So many of my friends didn't rush, some of them
got dropped from everything, some of them didn't have the GPI.
And you know a lot of my friends, you wouldn't
expect them to get dropped either. Pretty girls, you wouldn't.
You wouldn't think that they would. But it's also hard
if you get blacklisted or if you have a certain
(32:17):
reputation from.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
I want to talk about that on one of our episodes,
guys about getting get blacklisted and that what that's about.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Definitely, Well, I think it's a lot easier for girls
to get blacklisted if they're rushing their sophomore year or
if they're a transfer, because then it allows obviously the
sororities to get to know you and look at you
while you're out, and if they kind of don't like
what they see, then you could get blacklisted. Or if
(32:47):
you're screwing a sorority sister's boyfriend or this or that,
And that's why this one girl got blacklisted because she
was she didn't know, and that's the hard part as
a fresh you don't know these frat boys and who
they're dating and all the ties and literally I felt
(33:08):
so bad. But my one friend in college, she got
blacklisted and she couldn't rush because she ended up somebody
having sex with someone's boyfriend and she had no idea.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
The girls and I could be I'm just thinking about
it delaware, Like I don't think that they were allowed
as freshmen to go to parties like with frat boys,
because they're very thing. Once you were in, you couldn't.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
But what if you didn't rush your freshman year?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Give a shit and you went, But if you were
rushing or in a sorority.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Then you weren't allowed.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Well, I don't know if I was supposed to or not.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
We weren't allowed to go out like during the rush process,
but I definitely went out for semester for sure. And
then yeah, I mean if girls didn't have the GPA
and weren't allowed to rush freshman year, my friends went
out and I think you're the craziest your freshman year.
I could be wrong, Like I feel like that's the worst,
(34:12):
Like everyone was.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Ushman year is crazy, honestly though, there's nothing like it.
Though it's so fun too.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
So that was one of my best year, my freshman year, right,
my best year.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
It's just everything so new and exciting and scary too.
But it's like all of that like compiled together, makes
it great.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
To say she felt bad for anyone that didn't go
to Delaware. I was like, Rachel, I feel like they're okay,
They're okay, they're getting through.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
It's funny.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Yeah, that's a great way to feel.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Not everybody does, Oh my gosh, for sure.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
For sure. There's so many And I love you guys.
The message that you guys are sending out that it's
going to be okay coming from two girls. I love
being in a sorority, you know, and that you have
so many friends who didn't work out for in terms
of whatever getting into the top tier.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Definitely. Yeah, So anyone listening, if you're going through it,
if you went through it, or if you're a mom
watching your daughter go through it, or a sibling or anyone,
no matter what, it'll be okay.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Thank you, Miss Daisy
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Serriti Life with
your hosts me Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler.
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
We are so excited that you guys are loving this
podcast as much as we are. And Rush is happening
(00:23):
right now for a lot of schools, so we are
ready to dive deep. We know people have been wanting
this kind of show for years, and we're so glad
that you're responding, calling in, leaving voicemails, and sharing your
own Rush experiences with the good and the bad. So
let's get into it.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm Gia Judice, I'm jen Fessler, and I'm Daisy Kent.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
All right, guys, So we've had a lot of people
calling in. Let's listen to our first caller.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Hi, there, my name is Rosie. I want to call
in and leave them constructive feedback. Like Fessler had mentioned,
this is a huge untapped market and there is a
lot of taboos about talking about the sorority experience, and
I think it would be super helpful if you all
talked about it from a nationals perspective as well, like
(01:18):
why we aren't really allowed.
Speaker 5 (01:20):
To talk about sorority life and why we're not allowed.
Where are letters and the press and those types of things.
And then also there was some lingo that I think
if we could break down a little bit better, like
what a press actually is, what a bid actually is,
what a pledge is, what a mixer is, those very
(01:42):
things that we talk about in the sorority world. And
I think it would be just really helpful for the
girls in terms of how to make an informed decision
about joining sorority life or not.
Speaker 6 (01:56):
And of course it.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Goes campus to campus, is not a one size fits
all approach. But if you are Teresa, Judice.
Speaker 6 (02:03):
Or and you know a mama or dad that is
new to the sorority life or girl that's new to
sorority life, what that looks like for you. And I
think giving these behind the scenes facts is so helpful
for women that are that are thinking about joining this experience.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
There's a lot okay, dirty rushing.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
I thought it was sort of now, not when I
was going through it, but when you rush before school
even started, right, And like that whole rush process I
hear in a lot of schools happens before rush.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Okay, so my ver. My definition of like dirty rush
was when like kind of like playing dirty. So when
we were at Rutgers first semester, we would almost kind
of get recruited by a sorority who had interest in us,
but behind closed doors so kind of try to They
(03:06):
were basically trying to persuade us to go to a
sorority before the rushing process started, so that our minds
were made up before going through the recruitment process.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Okay, Mine was kind of like because we did recruitment
right when we got to school. I think we were
at school like maybe like two weeks and then we
went into recruitment. And so I would say ours was
at San Diego State. You would like go out to
all the frat parties and meet all the frat guys.
None of the like actual sorority girls could go out
(03:41):
because I don't know, you weren't allowed. That was like
your like dry period or whatever. And so you would
go and you would meet all these guys and they
were older guys like in the frats, and then they
would all tell the sorority girls like what girls they
thought were like cool and fun to hang out with
and stuff like that. Both were going to the parties,
and I had no idea that was happening. And then
(04:03):
I remember when I was like sophomore, and I was like,
oh my gosh, this is crazy, but it was so fun. Honestly.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Wait, that's a wild definition of dirty rushing. Having the
frat guys do your homework literally doing this sorority home
wark right.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I'm they were probably basing it off of something sort
of physical, that's just my guess. Yeah, fairly interested in
what you were majoring in.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Probably, yeah, probably.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
What about you guys? What about this other lingal rogamma rogramma?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Okay? For me, that was like when you get divided
into groups, so like you sign up for recruitment and
then say, there's a they have like a bunch of
ro gramma gammas. So I was with a group of
like ten girls and then we have one ro gamma
and she's already in a sorority and girl in a sorority.
You don't know what sorority she's in, but she's trying
(05:04):
to like help you navigate it and help you find
the best like place as the best like home and
fit for you.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah, she's she's in a sorority, but she doesn't have
any she doesn't try to influence you.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
No, they can, like they're not allowed.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
So there anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
No, No, you don't find out until the end. I
mean you'll try to guess who, like what sorority they're
in as you're going through recruitment, but they're basically in
charge of like little groups. Like Daisy said, my definition
was pretty much the same thing, except I didn't call
them rogammas. They were called pie key's My guys.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
We didn't have any of this.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
No, you didn't have someone like leading you and directing
you through, like to houses and stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
I mean, we definitely had people leading us through, but
there was no I don't remember talking to anyone, but
you know, the girls that I was grouped with, it
wasn't nobody was giving advice or you know, No, I don't,
And if there was someone, we didn't call them rogammas.
We probably just called them that nice girl who's helping.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, honestly, it was so helpful. I remember it. I
forget the name of mine, but she was so insanely nice.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Really, Yeah, No, I mean they were definitely super helpful,
and it was so funny because during the recruitment process
we would all try to guess what sorority they were
from and what sorority they were in, and basically at
the end they would all reveal which sorority they were in,
and everyone freaked out and like clapped their hands. It
(06:41):
was honestly kind of stupid, but I mean everyone, like
everyone got like so high, like learning what sorority they
were actually in and when they like revealed their identity.
But it was I don't know, some of the things
really made me make me say, yeah, literally.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Out where they're what other lingo I think she asked
what a bid was.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Okay, so a bid is basically when you are wanted
by the sorority, right.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, so like at the end, I remember,
we got a little card and you like opened it
up and like that was my bid to be an alpha.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
Fy.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, And then I guess technically during I guess, as
you get called back, I guess that's not really a bid,
but I yes, it's like when the sororities are also
showing interest in you that they want you back, so yeah,
hoping to get a potential bid.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
At the end, for sure.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
We're either one of you guys on exact boards, I
was you were.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Yeah, So I mean one they say it looks great
on your resume, so yeah, is something good just to
have like under your belt. But you know, you can
obviously be the president, the vice president, treasurer, take one
of those lead roles on but they do take a
(08:15):
lot of responsibility. So I wanted to do something that
was a little more fun and maybe not as much responsibility.
So I was Special Chair of Events, So I basically
coordinated like all of our big events, which I like
doing anyway. I kind of like party planning. So I
(08:37):
planned like our b Mock, which was big man on
campus for at Rutgers, and that was like our breast
Cancer Walk because that was our philanthropy breast cancer. And
so I planned b Mock parents Weekend and a lot
of the bigger events that Zeta would do at Rutgers.
So that was a super fun, like little position to
(09:02):
have on the on the board. But I wasn't like
an exact because wasn't the exacts like that's like the
first here, and then.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
I would there's like ones under it.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Yeah, so I was the ones like under it. But
then exec is like the people who are all sitting
at the front during your chapter meetings.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Yeah, yeah, I did chair your rush chair rush Chair,
Oh my gosh, probably so fun.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, and I I wrote all of these songs to
you guys probably don't even know West Side Story like
back in the day, but I wrote all when You're
a PI, You're a FI all the way, like all
of this, like the dances, and that was.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
Like you were definitely a nice rush chair.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Yeah, rush chair was, well what is it?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
I mean back then I was rush chair meeting that
I was like I was in charge of like all
of the skits.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah, like putting together Yeah that's your little dances.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Right, Yes, that's what it is, right, I mean I
start didn't do anything like I think.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
It's also mainly now also like going through the social
media and the snagrams and finding your potential recruits that
you really want.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
So you didn't have social media, you guys. It was
a whole different world. It was a group of girls
showing up a big group and us singing West Side
Story and hoping that they were going to think that
we were fabulous. It was just so different.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
Yeah, it is so different with social media. I was
on an execue, I did panelnic delegate, so I like
went and met with the school and met with Panelonic
when they came in and talked to them. So that
was really interesting because our.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
School to get mixers approved.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, and like if you're you were on like probation
or something like that, if your sorority or whatever, it
was because you would show up to the meeting at
school on campus and and it would be like all
the other sororities there too, which it was fun because
I was friends with a bunch of girls and other
sororities too, so it was kind of a way to
like mix some mingle that way too, and you could
(11:11):
like pair up with a sorority and like do things together.
So it was fun. But I definitely like I always
knew like the tea that was going on, I felt like.
But then I also had to like do accreditation for people.
So accreditation was like I think a good thing about
sororities is that they like they make you do community service.
You have to keep a certain GPA. So I was
(11:32):
in charge of like tracking all of that and making
sure girls got the amount of community service they had
to do, making sure they were still at like a GPA,
and then making sure they went to like certain events
that like supported other philanthropies too. We did that, So, yeah,
that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (11:49):
Did you enjoy it? Would you suggest it?
Speaker 7 (11:52):
So?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I actually I wasn't gonna do it, and then they
like needed somebody and people were asking me to do it,
and I was like, Okay, I guess I'll do it.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
So a little forced, yeah, but honestly, I like, I
think that's kind of how I did it too.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
I can't see me like just volunteering on it and
it kept having more responsibility.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, I think. Do you know what I think is
the hardest job on exec is risk chair? Oh my god,
I know that's.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Where you I think from what I remember my son
because I think he did. Don't you sit outside of
parties for boy?
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Is that what that is? And you can't kind of
you're just like you're in charge of like the girls
at your sorority. So if someone like is in like trouble,
or if someone like drinks too much, if something like
that happens, like you're the one, like people are always
like able to call kind of and at like pref
and like formals, you're in charge of like being the
(12:50):
one kind.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Of you have to be sober, Yeah, yeah, your risk chair.
You have to be sober at these events. And I mean,
of course, you know times maybe they'll sneak a drink
or too, I think, and you're always the bad guy.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yeah, you're always the bad guy. That's why I think
it's the hardest like one to be because you always
have to be like keeping ever.
Speaker 3 (13:16):
Only remember that for my son, like he'd be on
a cell phone like outside whatever party, Like this sucks.
I don't know why I volunteered for this.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I mean because he probably had a monitor who was
coming in and out of the frat.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:31):
It's not a fun not a fun job.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Yeah right, So any other lingo you guys, I mean,
I'm sure we're gonna.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Come up with dorm storming dorms, which this is like interesting,
but like I don't think this was a part of
like my recruitment process. I think it was just the
normal thing to do when you were a freshman. So
apparently dorm storming is it's basically going from door to
(14:03):
door in your dorm or residence halls to basically like
interact with the people on your whole, like on your
whole and.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Just like.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Kind of recruit them for recruitment, But I don't think
anyone ever did that. Like I think it was mainly
like for us going into my freshman year, it was normal.
Like I remember I was setting up my dorm room
freshman year and one of my good friends was a
cheerleader at Rutgers, and she like just walked into my
(14:34):
dorm and was like, hey, so, like I'm a cheerleader
here at Rutgers and was like so kiddy, And I
was like, oh my god, what is going on? But
she's been she was like at Rutgers all summer because
she was training and like practicing for the cheer team.
So she was like so excited when we all moved
(14:55):
in because she's like, I've been so lonely all summer,
Like I'm so excited to meet new friends. And I
think it was just the normal thing to do as
a freshman, just kind of knock on everyone's door, introduce
yourself and kind of get to know people just going
into school. I don't think it really had anything to
do necessarily with recruitment. What do you guys think, I
(15:16):
honestly have never heard of that before. But but you
did the same thing right on when you were a freshman.
You kind of went to people's doors, introduced yourself, made
the friends of people on your whole one.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Hundred percent, and we kept our like dorm door always opened,
Me and my roommate Christy. It's actually funny. Thor, my
boyfriend was my next door neighbor in the dorm.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
That's so funny, and so you probably met him by
watch your boyfriend's name door.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I loved Daisy and Thor. That's like its own episode.
We're gonna talk about that.
Speaker 2 (15:50):
I was like, it was funny when we were moving
in together because people were like, oh, how is it
like moving in together? And I was like, well, you
know when I was nineteen. He definitely saw me at
my worst and my best in the dorm room next door.
So I was like, I don't think I can be
most much worse than that.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
He saw it all.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
What about a suicide bid that was a risky thing.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Oh yeah, So that's like when you only I mean
from my knowledge because I remember a roguam like telling
us not to do this. It's when you only put
like one sorority. So say you're on pref preface is
the last night before you go to get your bid
and you have two sororities and I didn't want one
(16:36):
at all, but I wanted the other one, and I
only put like Alpha FY and I didn't put anything else.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
And they know that then that they know that you're
like yeah, all.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
In yes, because then if you only put down one
like during like on PREF day, like after you go
to the voting room and you kind of rank which
sorority you want from great is to lease? So one
two three and or is it two for PREF or
is it three?
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Do you guys remember you mine was two the only.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Reason, so okay, so then it probably is, oh yeah,
because I prefed I think GFI and ZATA, so I yeah,
I think it is maybe two. And then if you
only put one sorority down and that sorority ended up
not choosing you, then you you get into nothing. So
(17:33):
that's why it's called suicide bid, because you could potentially
risk not getting into a sorority at all. So you
just went through this whole process and then you could
essentially like end up with nothing.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
And I think it's because the sorority, I don't think
they necessarily know, but Panolynic knows. Because Panolymic, it's like
the sorority will put their bid in for you and
then you put what you want in and then it
kind of like matches up that way. But Panelmtic I
think hates it when you do just one. So I
think that that's part of the reason why too.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
It's like I don't know how to extend. It's like
so much. I'm like thinking back to that time, I'm like, whoa, imagine,
imagine And I think, probably, Daisy, it was better that
you didn't know anything going in every way. Honestly, yeah,
I think I would have been like losing my mind
a little bit. But also I think San Diego State
(18:31):
like is not as intense at all as like other schools.
So I mean at first when I first went in,
I was like what am I doing? And then I
suck with it because my roommate and like, I'm so
happy I did. I ended up having the time of
my life. Let's in the collar, hi, Grace.
Speaker 8 (19:02):
Another interesting element is I have a younger two younger sisters.
One of them went through Rush two years later while
I was at school, and one is going through rush
right now. But the interesting thing is that my sorority
actually dropped both of.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Them in the first You actually just reminded me of
something that I was gonna say to you that during COVID, though,
that was also of something that happened very often they
screwed up, kind of like the legacy you know of
a sister when, because it doesn't matter across all boards,
(19:42):
say your sister didn't even go to the same college
that you went to, she should always have that legacy
of getting into that sorority wherever. So they really screwed
that up. I know for a fact COVID during COVID
and not during COVID. It seems to be always a mistake.
Speaker 7 (20:02):
But wow, that would have been interesting somehow.
Speaker 8 (20:06):
I think that happened at my school too, where it
just messed up the way that they did things to
where legacy really was not as important as it may
have used to them. And that is something that really
put me off.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
And just that's true.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Contact your sorority after.
Speaker 8 (20:24):
Yeah, I did, and they had zero good excuse for it.
Speaker 7 (20:29):
They were like, oh, it must have just slipped through
the cracks.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Yeah, you guys, where do when they vote now? Like,
because that would have never happened back in the day.
A sister forget it in a way. But that was
also a time where you everybody will put their heads
down and you would like raise your hand. Like it
wasn't like social like you can vote now, is there
like an app that you can vote on? So like
(20:52):
it's so anonymous.
Speaker 8 (20:53):
Yeah, that's what the US in ours as you like
rank people through an app, and a lot more of
it is done through technology.
Speaker 7 (20:59):
So maybe that's how people kind of slipped through the crocs.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
But what what was that app called I forget.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Not remember for the life of me, But it was.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
And yeah, it was like a whole system.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Yeah no, I just there was that would not that
wouldn't have happened. I don't think when I went on paper, Yeah, yeah,
when I went in, it was a three computer. We
had three Three of my best friends were already in
a FI because I was a transfer student, and it
was just nobody was going to go I mean, there
were three of them, so nobody was going to give them,
(21:34):
you know, any shit. So it was kind of like
a shoeing. But I but even like that, like if
you had a mother that was a FI you were
getting in.
Speaker 7 (21:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (21:45):
See that's an interesting thing too, because I had an
aunt that went to the same school as me, and
she was like, oh, you definitely will be able to
get through and just be a kapa because that's what
she was. And no, they dropped me both times.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
It would be interesting to like see how Greek life evolves,
even like in the next like ten years.
Speaker 8 (22:08):
I know, I think so too, because it's weird. I
feel like I've seen so much change in the years
that I was in.
Speaker 7 (22:15):
School, and yeah, it seems to be evolving a lot.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
So oh one hundred. I think sororities used.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
To be more fun back in back, probably when you
were in a sorority jet than they were now, I
mean than they are now.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
Yeah, it was fun, but there was other you know,
there was other shitty things that happened back then that
wouldn't happen today, right, I mean, you know, just a
lot of stuff like the mixing with the frats and
you know, getting called and like standing in front of
the house like when you got your bid and then
I think I told you guys about this couple episodes ago,
(22:51):
but like all the boys would show up and like pick,
I don't know, there was a bunch of just yeah,
that's crazy, like just in case you had self esteem
for a minute, because you got in like next the
next minute, you're the only one without Maybe this is
just my experience without a date. I mean that was right,
but yes, but I mean it was now we didn't
have to contend with a lot of the stuff. I
(23:12):
don't even know how you guys do it now. It's
a lot, especially looking at these schools in the South
and what's going on. It's absolutely over the top crazy, right, Yeah, and.
Speaker 8 (23:22):
That's pretty insane and just I think the social media
elements crazy.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
If you don't mind me asking what school was.
Speaker 7 (23:29):
It, I don't think. I don't think I want to say.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
Okay, no problem, but you were you said it was
down south though, Yeah, so it was really intense.
Speaker 8 (23:42):
Yeah, big Texas schools and and so just very intense.
And the moms even are very intense. The whole ordeal.
It's just I don't know, to a certain extent, I
liked it, and I gained a lot of great friends
out of it, but looking back, there's so much superficialness
(24:04):
to the whole thing that just makes me feel a
little bit icky.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
That's why I feel like it used to be way
more authentic than what it is now.
Speaker 7 (24:15):
Yeah, definitely, it.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Was always superficial though, Guys. There was always a level
of that I think.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
I mean, yeah, I feel like it is, and then
you got to get like past that and find your
like good friends.
Speaker 8 (24:29):
Yeah, it's definitely the core of all of it. Once
you find like your friends from it, that's what you meant.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, so your sister and your cousin aren't in it
right now. I remember when my sisters were rushing. I
was so nervous for them. So you probably feel the pressure.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
Yeah, I am feeling the pressure a little bit. I
mostly just feel for them so much because I know
how it feels to go through the process.
Speaker 8 (24:57):
And have it go really poorly or have it go
really well. Even when it is going well, it's not
a cake walk like. It still is intense and it
brings up so much emotion. So they have both been
calling me constantly in tears, are so happy, and it's
such a rollercoaster, you know, And so I'm trying to
(25:17):
support them through the best I can, and luckily I
can empathize. So that's definitely something that's been really cool
throughout the whole process. But mostly I'm just excited for
them to be done with it and start school and
get to actually feel the benefit of the crazy process
that they've been through. But one of them, my sister,
(25:40):
it's going really well for she's gotten maybe not all
the houses back, but a lot of the.
Speaker 7 (25:47):
Ones that she likes.
Speaker 8 (25:48):
And then unfortunately my cousin, it's a little bit more
touch and go.
Speaker 7 (25:52):
She's not sure about the houses that she had back.
Speaker 8 (25:55):
Originally she got all I think it was ten that
you could get in the first she got ten backs,
she was kind of on top of the world. And
then actually this morning she found out that she got
I think only three out of six back for the
next round. So I know that that's been kind of
hard on her.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
It's crazy that drop that can happen.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, I know it's.
Speaker 7 (26:19):
Because, I mean, getting ten back that's pretty rare. It's
a big deal.
Speaker 8 (26:24):
Yeah, So to go from ten to three, I mean,
my heart just hurts like that never feels good, even if.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
She's so glad she has you though, what.
Speaker 8 (26:36):
I'm really glad that I can help them through it
because I know that when I was going through the process,
I really wish that I had more people that I could.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Kind of lean on.
Speaker 7 (26:44):
Who had gone through it and understood.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
And maybe there is something to be said for these
sorority coaches. Maybe there is, like, you know, something to
have somebody who actually does it professionally and understands what
can happen at any given moment and can kind of
coach you, you know, through it a little bit and help
out just the whole the emotions of it all.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Maybe if it's a nice sorority coach, they're looking out
for your mental health and not maybe what color you
should change your hair. I mean, at least you went
through kind of I guess both experiences grace, like you
had one that wasn't so great and one that obviously
it got better at the end. So I feel like
(27:27):
that definitely, you know, is helping your cousin out right now,
because even if things don't go as planned for her
right now, just tell her to try again.
Speaker 8 (27:35):
M M. I know, I think that could be good.
And they have Cob and all of that, so I
know that she'll be fine and if it's meant to be,
she'll find that home eventually, and who knows even through
Oh my god, yes.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
The COB is you just brought up another sorority wit good.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I said, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 7 (27:56):
So continuous open bidding, right, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Yeah, like you basically just kind of get accepted in.
Speaker 8 (28:05):
Right.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
It's if you're it's after rush and they have a
couple of girls that they can bring in if they want,
but typically it happens this semester after Yeah.
Speaker 8 (28:16):
I think it's if the sorority doesn't meet their quota
or if some people like end up accepting a bid
but then not going to the situation, they'll have extra
spots and they'll kind of like just yeah, it's a
much chiller process, so kind of just.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Be like they don't have to do anything. They just
walk in the door.
Speaker 7 (28:36):
You know, she wants to be a theater or whatever,
and they're like welcome.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
What does it stand for?
Speaker 7 (28:41):
So you'll be continuous, got it? So that's always a
good option too. I wish I could have done.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
That would have been so much.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You know, I hope your cousins experience only goes up
from here, and I'm happy that your sister yes doing great.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
Wow, Okay, you guys. I feel for her obviously. I
feel for her cousin and her sister, But to be
outside of it and somebody you love is going through it.
And again I mean I had a daughter go through it,
and it's a different experience. It's almost harder.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
I think.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
I don't know, it's just knowing that, like I wanted
anybody that was going to reject my daughter Rachel, they
had to die a slow and painful death. It's still
like that, like she doesn't get a job, or she
doesn't get the boy. That has to No, it has
to be slow and painful. That person is dead, must
be wiped off the map. So like you know, is
(29:56):
a mom of it or cut like you want the
whole sorority, especially if it's your sorority. Imagine your own
sorty is rejecting your sister.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
No so much?
Speaker 4 (30:04):
No good?
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah No, I definitely believe that it's harder as a
mom watching it because I even I think about my
mom and like anything I've gone through in my life.
I remember one time she told me, she said, anything
that I go through is ten times harder than anything
she's ever gone through, like for her like watching and
having to like watch me go through it if I'm
(30:27):
like going through something hard. So I totally believe that.
And my little sister too, someone does her wrong.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I'm like, yeah, I want a pound.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, you guys see that.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
There's a TikTok right now of this mom who has
life three sixty or whatever it is. So she's following
her daughter through the process. She's like, Okay, now she's
at I don't know. Now she's at theta. Now she's
oh my god, why did she stay in theata for
so long? Why didn't she walk out?
Speaker 1 (30:55):
You guys, No, it's it's a little girl.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I can't.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
I feel like I might have done that if it
was if it wasn't all on zoom. But she's like
freaking out, like, wait a second, wait a second, why
is she out on the porch. Why isn't she going in?
She taught like just the whole thing is so.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Hyper and honestly, yeah, yeah, I mean I think right now, obviously,
even for Grace and her cousin and her sister, I know,
it feels like the end of the world. But after
college or even after your freshman year, literally it doesn't
even matter.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
It doesn't matter. It's like it's such That's why I
hate how like it's it's like.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
A fever dream in yeah, but then it goes away
no matter.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
What you are going to be okay, like if you're
in a sorority, if you're not in a sorority, you're
going to be fine, Like everything is going to be amazing.
But it's like in that moment for some people.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
So many of my friends didn't rush, some of them
got dropped from everything, some of them didn't have the GPI.
And you know a lot of my friends, you wouldn't
expect them to get dropped either. Pretty girls, you wouldn't.
You wouldn't think that they would. But it's also hard
if you get blacklisted or if you have a certain
(32:17):
reputation from.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
I want to talk about that on one of our episodes,
guys about getting get blacklisted and that what that's about.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
Definitely, Well, I think it's a lot easier for girls
to get blacklisted if they're rushing their sophomore year or
if they're a transfer, because then it allows obviously the
sororities to get to know you and look at you
while you're out, and if they kind of don't like
what they see, then you could get blacklisted. Or if
(32:47):
you're screwing a sorority sister's boyfriend or this or that,
And that's why this one girl got blacklisted because she
was she didn't know, and that's the hard part as
a fresh you don't know these frat boys and who
they're dating and all the ties and literally I felt
(33:08):
so bad. But my one friend in college, she got
blacklisted and she couldn't rush because she ended up somebody
having sex with someone's boyfriend and she had no idea.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
The girls and I could be I'm just thinking about
it delaware, Like I don't think that they were allowed
as freshmen to go to parties like with frat boys,
because they're very thing. Once you were in, you couldn't.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
But what if you didn't rush your freshman year?
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Give a shit and you went, But if you were
rushing or in a sorority.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Then you weren't allowed.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Well, I don't know if I was supposed to or not.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
We weren't allowed to go out like during the rush process,
but I definitely went out for semester for sure. And
then yeah, I mean if girls didn't have the GPA
and weren't allowed to rush freshman year, my friends went
out and I think you're the craziest your freshman year.
I could be wrong, Like I feel like that's the worst,
(34:12):
Like everyone was.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Ushman year is crazy, honestly though, there's nothing like it.
Though it's so fun too.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
So that was one of my best year, my freshman year, right,
my best year.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
It's just everything so new and exciting and scary too.
But it's like all of that like compiled together, makes
it great.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
To say she felt bad for anyone that didn't go
to Delaware. I was like, Rachel, I feel like they're okay,
They're okay, they're getting through.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
It's funny.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Yeah, that's a great way to feel.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Not everybody does, Oh my gosh, for sure.
Speaker 3 (34:53):
For sure. There's so many And I love you guys.
The message that you guys are sending out that it's
going to be okay coming from two girls. I love
being in a sorority, you know, and that you have
so many friends who didn't work out for in terms
of whatever getting into the top tier.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Definitely. Yeah, So anyone listening, if you're going through it,
if you went through it, or if you're a mom
watching your daughter go through it, or a sibling or anyone,
no matter what, it'll be okay.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Thank you, Miss Daisy
Hosts And Creators
Teddi Mellencamp
Tamra Judge
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