September 20, 2025 • 41 mins
Getting called in to “Standards”… What does that mean???? Sorority members immediately know what we’re talking about.
We’re exploring the committee within a sorority that upholds the rules and values of the chapter. Why would someone be called in to “Standards”? The list is long and the reasons may not be what you think.
Plus, our own Gia Giudice reveals why she was called in to Standards and the Real Housewives reason!
Call us at 844-278-RUSH (844-278-7874) or email us at DirtyRush@iHeartRadio.com.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority life with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hey, guys, and welcome to Dirty Rush, where we are
giving you the inside scoop on sorority life. In this episode,
we are talking about standards. Standards is basically a group
of people who run a committee.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
And basically punish you on your behavior.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
There is proper etiquette and proper behavior that is necessary
while being in a sorority.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
And we are.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Going to dive deep, have some callers calling in and
telling us their standard story and at the end maybe
you'll hear a story from me. I have a celebrity
guest here with me today, Mercedes north Up.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Welcome to Dirty Rush. Excited to be here, so excited
to have you here.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
So new announcement. You just launched your podcast. Yes, famously
available with Ben. It has been so much fun, having fun.
It's all about dating, so you know.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Getting back into the dating room.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Yes, girl, I'm back in there. It's so scary, but
I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Honestly, this is.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
So fun though. Yes, the dating podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
You're kind of just doing the intros right now, but
then you're gonna get into dating, like went on dates
via podcast.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Yeah, which is so crazy interesting. So I kind of
took a break from dating. I haven't dated in like
two years, which is a long time. I needed time
just to like, I don't know, I went through I
had a really bad situation ship again, you know. So
I had two years off and I was like, I
saw my mom. I'm like, I think the next time,
Like I'm going to go on a date, Like they're
setting me up on a day I need to like
(01:51):
get ready. So I'm clienting my practice date on Saturday.
The poor guy doesn't know it, but who knows.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Maybe this practice yining armor literally know, Oh.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
My god, I love that.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
Yeah okay, so my fingers crossed for the date on side. Yeah,
we'll see.
Speaker 6 (02:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
I'll keep you updated.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So Dirty Rush, you know that it's all about sorority life,
and we kind of just talk about the good, the bad,
the ugly and really get into the truth about sorority life.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
So where did you go? Were you in a sorority?
Speaker 7 (02:23):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
What was your experience?
Speaker 8 (02:24):
Like?
Speaker 4 (02:25):
So I went to Iowa State and stayed in state.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Yes, okay, yeah, yep, went i of state study fashion.
It was like, I loved that school. It was so
much fun. But I honestly didn't know much about recruitment,
but I a few Are you the oldest?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
And my mom was like having fifteen, Like she didn't
go to college. So I was like, my moss one
nothing when I.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Don't you have to pay deuce? She goes what was like,
what is that? Yeah? Literally, you're rushing a sorority. What's that?
Speaker 7 (02:55):
Literally?
Speaker 6 (02:55):
That was me.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I had no idea what I was doing, what I
was getting myself into. But my roommate she was like,
I'm doing it, like you should do it with me,
And I'm like, okay, like sure, why not?
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Like that's just what it is.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Went through recruitment, had a really good recruitment process, honestly,
and my top three were the Z, Kapa and tried
delt Okay, and then pref Night, I went Kappa and DZ,
and then I ended up going DZ. Bitted them, they
bitted me, so that's where I went, and I loved
d Z. It was so much fun. I met like
all my best friends, but there was some issues too.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
They were very.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Hard on us sometimes, like just having like certain things
that we could do and couldn't do. And I was,
you know, a freshman. I'm like, I'm literally in college.
I this is my time to like do what I want,
Like let me go to a party, let me post
a beer in the.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Oh, and you couldn't and we would get fine.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Oh my, I gotta say I was stayed in standards.
Oh my gosh, like I was sending my ass to standards.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
They really did, but it was until you were initiated,
after initiation, then you were able to write no.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
Oh no, No, they were very strict. Maybe they didn't
want that image. It's just so crazy because we were
like cut it on the party house, okay, but they
like were very but like the Yeah, they were strict.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
And you were in your sorority all four years.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
No, I actually dropped my junior year, did you just
because I was getting I was tired of getting fined
like random things like I don't even remember what I
got fined for, but I was like I'm not paying that,
like I'm not doing this anymore. Like and it was
just so expensive.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh yeah, sometimes it's a money grab.
Speaker 9 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
I think my dues were like three hundred dollars if
you a month and then if you missed, which as
a college students like pretty expensive, Like I was paying
for it, So that was that. And then also like
if you missed, what's it? Why am I forgetting what
it's called? Like chapter chapter? They find you like one
hundred dollars. Yeah, I'm not doing that. And I loved
(04:58):
going home and like being with my family, and it
was always on Sundays.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I was like, yeah, after it was always on Sunday,
always on Sundays.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I hated that when I would go home for Sunday
dinner and I had to leave to go to chapter That's.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
What I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And I would have to like request, like, can I
go on zoom today for this chapter meeting? I would
always say, Now, sometimes we were in drafter for five.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Minutes, I know, and they needed to do Yeah, it's
so dope, they needed five minutes. Yeah, but yeah, I
was just over the fighting and over getting in trouble
with them.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
So I was like, I'm just going to drop.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Sarah, Welcome to Dirty Rush.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Hi, thanks for having me so excited to hear your story.
Speaker 8 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (05:43):
So I think I kind of have a unique like
experience because when I was in college, I went to
a really big public school in LA.
Speaker 8 (05:53):
Some people might know it.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
It's U C.
Speaker 11 (05:55):
L A.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
And oh was sick.
Speaker 8 (05:57):
And I like definitely loved my experience.
Speaker 10 (05:59):
But I so much so that I was president of
my sorority. And so when I was president, I served
on standards. A big reason why a lot of people
got called into standards was because a lot of our
events were off campus at different venues around the city
in La, and so there would be these long bus
rides where people would heavily pregame prior to these bus
(06:22):
rides to these events, and every single event, without fail,
somebody would throw up on the bus. And we had
members of our sorority called like sober sisters sober monitors,
whose role was to like, of course make sure everyone
was safe and okay, but also to like give trash
back to anyone on the bus that would looked like
(06:42):
they were about to throw up, and then also like
report them back to the sorority if they did throw up,
because like then the sorority would have to pay that
huge fine or whatever.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Yeah, so that was a.
Speaker 10 (06:53):
Big standards call in and I, yes was president, was
serving on the on board of standards. Prior to that,
had been called into standards for throwing up on a bus.
I was a freshman and I was actually supposed to
be a sober monitor. Oh no, yeah, so it was
(07:15):
really bad. It was like, not only did you throw
up on the bus, but you.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Also you were watching everywhere.
Speaker 9 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
Was not my proudest moment, but that that's my standard story.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
That is so funny.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Girls got brought to standards because they were encouraging me
to drink on midnight.
Speaker 8 (07:36):
When you were just when you had just basically like.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Just went home, like I just went to Zeta, I
just got my bid, Like we ran home and it
was midday, so we were all just like having a
big party in the house.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
And to be.
Speaker 10 (07:51):
Honest, though, were you did you feel peer pressured or
were you oh take part?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
No, like one hundred percent, I felt here pressured. Oh
you did no good drink like no, because I knew
I wasn't supposed to.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
But somehow standards got wind of it, and then my
older sisters got in trouble because they were.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Like, like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
This is obviously unacceptable, And then that girl literally had
to write an apology.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Letter to me.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I didn't think it was that big of a deal,
but obviously it was a big deal to the sorority
because for liability purposes.
Speaker 10 (08:32):
Then it's like when Standard catches you, then what do
they do with you to punish you? This Standard punishment
was like you have to be a sober sister again.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I think that was the main punishment for Zeta too.
It was either like they would take away some mixture,
some mixers you weren't able to go out, or like
they made you a sober monitor for the next eight party.
And obviously if you got that, you were pissed because
your night was ruined. I think Standards definitely has their
(09:07):
normal protocol and what they follow. I think the end
goal is just to make you more like a better
and more responsible person in the long run.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Thank you, Sarah, This.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Was awesome, but I'm glad you made a step up.
You went from throwing up on the bus on the
way to a day party to then becoming.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
The president of your sorority.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, so that shows growth. This is exactly what the
sororities wanted. Miranda, Welcome to Dirty Rush.
Speaker 9 (09:37):
Thank you so much. When you say the word Standards,
I get chills in my body. It literally brings back
trauma feelings. No, I hate that, yeah, in a funny way.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
But I feel like everyone felt like that when they
got called to standards.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
It's so true because no one gets called in for
a great reason. And our standards was made up of
our friends, sisters, and then an advisor or two, so
it was pretty intense and my funny enough. When I
was in my aurority, my sister was also in the
same southrority and she was on standards.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
She probably like internally wanted to kill you, like, oh
my god, my sister just getting called.
Speaker 9 (10:19):
The honest truth is I wish it was for an exciting,
fun reason, like a behavioral one. But I was called
in with my sister to standards. And again she was
on standards because our bills were never paid because my
dad is just a very fun kind of traveling guy
who just would completely forget or not send in the
paycheck or the building. So we would get called in together.
(10:43):
And again she was on standards because our bills were
not being paid. And I remember sitting there thinking, I'm nineteen,
I have, you know, twenty dollars at best in my pocket,
Like I don't know what to do about this. Yeah,
And it was just very awkward, hilarious experience because it
was my friends saying pay your bill and saying, okay,
call my parents because I barely have money for dinner
(11:03):
this week. When I hear standards now, it just brings
up a little PTSD because it was not fun.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Looking back at standards, I feel like they were just
trying to constantly teach you a lesson.
Speaker 9 (11:15):
I so agree. I think there were so many lessons
being in authority and learning to live with all the
girls and absolutely standards was is reality.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Hi guys, it's Jen Fessler here with another standard story.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Here on Dirty Rush.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
We have Elizabeth today who's going to talk to us
about her experience that she had in terms of standards
and what happened and how it all went down.
Speaker 11 (11:55):
So Hi Elizabeth, Hi, Okay, Yes, So my standards story
was kind of the typical of posting with alcohol, not
being able to post.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
With alcohol, and I knew that. But basically, in my sorority,
we have an Instagram account and it's a normal girl's name,
but if they comment a heart on your post, it
means delete that post immediately and we won't say anything
to you, and it's all good. But my ambitious self
was like, Oh, they're gonna forget about that. They're not
(12:29):
gonna remember they commented a heart, So I did not
delete that post. And then I posted again with what
looked like a lemonade cup. It could have been a
lemonade cup, but it was alcohol. And they commented another
heart on my post, and so I was like, oh, no,
like two hearts. Now, I should probably delete it, but
I didn't.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
Why didn't you?
Speaker 8 (12:49):
I don't know. I think I was just kind of like,
it looks like lemonade, like, and I was like, this
is such a double standard. So many of them post
with alcohol, like and they it's just a favorite thing.
They pick the people they want to call the art
and then they pick people that they're like, oh, they
can get away with it.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
So it was almost like you're almost not giving them
a fu but kind of like you were sort of
standing up for yourself in say so it wasn't.
Speaker 6 (13:14):
As if you were just like, they won't notice. It
was more like, no, this is not fair.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
I think it was a little bit of both, Like
the first time it was like, oh, they won't notice,
and then the second time it was like, this is
so annoying. I keep seeing all these people in my
sorority posting with alcohol as well, and all these posts
are not getting hearts on it, Like why am I
getting a heart comment? So and of course I'm like
thinking my private story on Snapchat is like a safe
(13:39):
place to go. So I'm like, they're trying to take
my like rights away. I can post it right want whatever?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
In I mean, I'm not, I don't even I don't
think that's so out of the realm of.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
Right and true. You should be able to post what
you want.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Although I get that, I guess you know what you
guys post is in some way or reflection problems. When
I was I was in a sorority a million and
ten years ago, we didn't have social media. But was
it also is it a particularly fun post? Were you like,
I love this post. I don't want to take it down?
Speaker 8 (14:13):
It was a semester recap, so I was like, okay,
I have to take.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
The time on it.
Speaker 8 (14:17):
Yeah, right, And it was like yeah, And I think
this was before the Instagram update of like you can
delete one like slide out of your post, So this
was before you can.
Speaker 6 (14:27):
That's good for me to know you can do that.
Speaker 8 (14:28):
Yeah, but before you couldn't do that. So I was like, oh,
this is my semester post, like I'm whatever, right, right, yeah,
But then they DM me and I'm like still in
this stubborn state of mind of like I just won't
open it. It doesn't stay seen if I don't open it.
So like, so this Instagram account DMS meat like, I
(14:50):
don't know, I.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Want to meet your mom. I want my daughter to
be just like that. She is actually like this.
Speaker 8 (14:55):
I think my mom would be so upset with me. Really,
she was just delete it. It's Instagram, and I'd be like.
Speaker 6 (15:03):
Maybe she's right.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I don't even know, but I'm kind of like, I'm
just happy to hear about you not letting yourself get
pushed around.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
Although yeah you did, Okay, I'll let you finish your story.
Speaker 8 (15:13):
So then anyways, I'm like, oh, I got away with it,
but little did I know. I get a standards email.
So I think every school does a different but for mine,
we get an email and it's like come an hour
before chapter on Sundays and you just go into this
room and they basically tell you what you did. Some
people go in there like completely blind, like I don't
even know what I did. I obviously had all of
(15:34):
this right, and I did. So I go into this meeting.
It's the president, risk chair, the standards committee, just like
all of them, and I'm like, basically in.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
A circle or do they like you have to face
them all.
Speaker 8 (15:47):
It's just like around a table and you just sit
down one of the chairs. It's actually like pretty chill
at my school. They don't make it very crazy, but
it is a little bit intimidating sitting down with like
the president of your sorority and you know exactly what
you did and so yeah, so they just sat me
down and they were like listen, like we commented the hearts,
(16:08):
you know, the drill, we DMD you, I know, you
didn't open it, like they knew exactly what it was right,
And I was just like I'm sorry, yeah, it won't
happen again. I'm just explaining that. And then there has
to be a repercussion for everything, basically with standards. And
so they had me write a ham written paper like
(16:30):
a letter to them basically saying how exactly what you
said before, like this is a reflection of us as
a chapter. This isn't just because we want you to
take down your Instagram post and I was like, okay,
that's okay, I'll do that. So it had to be
a handwritten letter, and I had to bring it into
chapter the week after on Sunday. And so in this letter,
I'm just like, this won't happen again. I understand this
(16:52):
is a reflection of my sorority. I committed to something,
like just kind of writing what they want to hear,
like it's an Instagram post. I don't really care. And
then yeah, so then you have to bring it in
the next week into chapter and hand it to them.
But of course you're walking into chapter with a piece
of paper, and everyone knows what this means, like it's anyone.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
Really cares, and everyone like kind of laughing about it.
Speaker 8 (17:17):
Yeah, it's a laughing matter. It's not like, oh my gosh,
blah blah blah. I mean so many people have to
do this. Half my friends had to do stuff because
they didn't show up to events that were mandatory and
they had to write letter saying that it's really rude
to commit to something and then whatever. So it's all
hand written letters. But when you're showing up to chapter
with a ham written letter, like everyone knows that you
(17:38):
went to standard right right my eyes, I'm like slyly
handing my piece of the person.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
For you embarrass did you feel?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I mean, I just think I'm thinking about why they
make you do it that way, Like why they make
you walk into chapter with it, yeah, written in front
of everyone and hand it over. I mean it's so
obviously too I'm sorry to say, but you may not agree,
but to kind of shame you a little bit.
Speaker 8 (18:04):
Oh yeah, I think half of it is. But I
also think my sorority is like traditional with a lot
of things. We don't like to do a lot of
stuff on technology. So I think maybe the traditional part
of it is like oh hamdwritten letter. It's a little
bit more like authentic and like you mean it rather
than like chat gbting something or whatever. Yeah, but I
think that actually, like physically handing it to them during
(18:26):
chapter is definitely like oh.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
We're gonna shame yeah exactly.
Speaker 8 (18:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
I mean, were you upset you? Did it take any
Did it take a toll on you?
Speaker 8 (18:39):
I think I'm just like my stubborn self was like
they got me, Like it didn't upset me, but I
was just like, yes, of course I couldn't get away
that's so funny. Yeah, like so many people get away
with stuff like that, though. I mean like I was
a sophomore when that happens, so a little bit of
me was like, okay, just whatever, You're still an underclassman,
(18:59):
like this happens, maybe you can get away with it
junior and senior year if you really want to again.
But I just think some of it's kind of like
I didn't know anyone in the standards committee or like
the risk chair or anything. Like, I wasn't friends with them,
so they weren't going to like favor me like they
favorite their friends, Like.
Speaker 6 (19:15):
Can you say that to them? Like can you say other? Really?
Speaker 8 (19:19):
Well, I wouldn't personally, yeah, but I'm sure people wouldn't
like balls. People would, But I personally was just like, okay,
I'll write this letter like write worries.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Yeah, no, I get that. I get that just wasn't
worth it.
Speaker 8 (19:34):
Yeah, it wasn't worth it to me.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, you know it's funny. I want to have my daughter,
come on, she has a story about standards. Well, I
should say we do, because she got called in to
standards her senior year for something that happened to her.
But instead of like there being any kind of real
talk with her or like what happened She just got
(20:00):
an email she had to go in front of standards
and really inappropriate because at some point you all are
grown women and your mommies should probably stay out of it.
Speaker 6 (20:09):
But I completely lost my shit, and I knew it was.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Just like, there's no they haven't even heard what you
had to say, and standards. I guess she could have
told them what she had to say, but standards is
almost like you've done something wrong. Yeah, and anyway, so
I called, I guess I called the house mother.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
What are they called, yeah, the house mother, house mother?
And this is completely unacceptable.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
She was so upset because and I'm hoping that she
will come out and tell her story. I don't want
to tell it for her, but it was really something
that happened to her, and a really an awful thing.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Anyway, so.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I said, I don't really get this. These are the
whole point of this is that you meet these girls
and they become your sisters. First, like want to get
behind you, talk to you what happened before bringing you
in front of a disciplinary committee. It just seemed egregious
to me, and I was like just pissed. I was like,
(21:10):
what is this for if it's not to find people
that are going to be on your side, not for everything.
Speaker 6 (21:13):
When you do something wrong, you do something wrong.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
But she hadn't, and so it just made it worse
that she was getting called into Sanders. Needless to say,
they said, you're absolutely right, she doesn't have to come
in and thought what you did for them because I
was ready to go down.
Speaker 8 (21:29):
There and yeah, they didn't want to deal with you exactly.
Speaker 6 (21:32):
Good for Rachel too, because I would mortified her. But
I you know, I think that probably.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
For a lot of young women girls that it is
really scary and it's intimidating, and I'm glad to hear
you guys just kind of sat or sit around a
round table. I think sometimes it's even more it's like
meant to be intimidating.
Speaker 8 (21:53):
A little bit. Yeah, I think so, you know, mm hmm, yeah.
I think especially like just seeing your president and like
people who are supposed to be like risk chair and
all of that in front of your face.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
So I mean I think that you know, you join
a sorority to be part of this sisterhood and to
know that all of these girls have your back right,
And I'm again I'm not taking away from the fact
that if you screw up and you are doing something
that is reflecting badly on your sorority, that there shouldn't
(22:25):
be consequences for that.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
I absolutely know that that's true.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
And even back in my day, even though there was
in social media, you know, there was like a love
you could get in trouble, you can get thrown out,
whatever it was. But I don't know, I feel like
maybe I'm a little biased because of what happened to
my daughter. But let's first like talk about it without
going to standards, you know, before we go to a
disciplinary committee, like what happened. Maybe not in your case
(22:51):
because if there was hard m I'm kind of giving
them the little fingers, the middle fingers, So maybe not.
Speaker 8 (22:58):
Yeah, yeah, no, they definitely gave me warnings. But I
will say that is true because people who go in
there blind and like have no clue what they did.
Like that's intimidating, and that's got to be like who
knows what they're about to say to me, But like
would be the worst day of my life could be okay,
and you just don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I mean, at the end of the day. The worst
thing that they that could happen is that they can
kick you out, right, Yeah, I mean I guess they're
also well I'm sure do you Priory talked about it.
Speaker 6 (23:26):
But there's things that they can do.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I mean whatever, I don't know what in your sorority,
what are your what are the consequences?
Speaker 6 (23:34):
There are probably a different levels.
Speaker 8 (23:35):
I would think, Yeah, you could be on probation, which
I don't really know what those all entail, like with details,
but yeah, you could be on probation for a little bit,
or you could like not be able to go to
a formal, which is the fun part obviously, right right, right,
So they definitely have different consequences. I think mine was
like one of the lesser versions of what they do.
(23:57):
I know a lot of my friends who have had
to go also have to write hand written letters. So
I didn't think that was crazy that I had to
do that.
Speaker 7 (24:04):
She was grateful for.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
But yeah, they could have told me, like you're not
going to this next formal like whatever, But yeah, they
didn't do that.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
Thank god. I'm so glad.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
Yeah, that is the fun part.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Well, anything else any other ideas or thoughts about standards,
your experience.
Speaker 8 (24:23):
I mean with me, that was the only time I've
gone I will say that like a girl. I know
we've talked about like shame and everything, and I don't
think that's their intention with everything that they do. So
I want to like take it with a grain of
salt type of thing, like I know a lot of
my friends who have gone through like emotional stress and
all of that get called into standards, which, like you
(24:45):
were saying with your daughter, that's not a great thing
that they're getting called into standards because it makes it
seem like they did something wrong. But when they actually
are in the meeting, standards will be like, hey, we're
here for you and we want to provide resources, but
to kind of get you in like an area where
we could all be with you. And this is just
like the protocol. So I know that they do definitely
(25:05):
help with that. They probably should go about it in
a different way and not call it a standards meeting.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
But listen, I'm glad to hear that.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I really am you for clarifying that, because again, like
when I when my daughter went through it, I was like,
you're getting called into what, yeah, stand in front of
who I don't think so so yeah, no, I hear
you if it's if that is, I mean, I think
girls probably do still get scared, you know, oh yeah
(25:34):
for sure, which I don't.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
I don't love. I mean, you should feel like you're
talking to your sisters, yes, you know, per se.
Speaker 8 (25:41):
Yeah, you're also talking to girls your own age, Like,
I mean a couple of them were older than me,
like the president and stuff. But I was like, why
am I next to someone who I literally just rushed
with and she's telling me what my consequences? That's so awkward.
Speaker 6 (25:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, Do you ever be on a committee on standards committee?
Speaker 8 (25:59):
No? Because I don't think I could do that to
people that I'm like really good friends with. I don't know,
it's so awkward. And I've heard the stories of like
it gets complicated with friends and like if your roommates
with them, and it kind of gets weird, like are
you gonna do the same things that you would do
before they were on this committee? Like I don't want
my friends to have to like hold back from their
(26:22):
like lives just because I'm on this like committee, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
I only think people would do it because it looks
good on your resume.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
Maybe right, Yeah, it is great. It's a leadership position.
It probably does look really good on a resume, but otherwise, yeah,
I just wouldn't want like my friends or people to
not do or act as they normally would around me,
just because I'm like.
Speaker 6 (26:43):
I don't want to do either. Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Okay, well, Elizabeth, thank you, sweet girl, thank you for
coming on. I'm glad that you escaped a bigger punishment
and right and I could do everything.
Speaker 6 (26:59):
And that you still go into the normals.
Speaker 8 (27:01):
Yes, I am saying I'm trouble good for you.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
All right, Well, thank you so much, and we love
talking to you. Thanks everybody gus listening. And girls, don't
post things that you don't want to get in trouble for.
That's the moral of this story. Okay, so now we
have Rowan Rowan. Hi there, how are you doing? Hi?
Speaker 7 (27:24):
I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 6 (27:25):
I'm good. I appreciate you calling in from abroad. Where
are you?
Speaker 12 (27:29):
I'm in Portugal right now, but I study rod in Florence.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
How great is that?
Speaker 7 (27:35):
Yes, it's amazing. I love it.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
I'll bet do they have standards in Florence?
Speaker 7 (27:39):
No, they don't good day.
Speaker 8 (27:41):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
That's nice. That's a good thing. So Rowan, do you
want to share where you go to school?
Speaker 7 (27:47):
Yes, I go to UCLA.
Speaker 6 (27:49):
You're brainiac just a little bit, very nice, Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
So yeah, we've been doing a lot of talking about
standards and different young women experiences, so I love for
you to share yours.
Speaker 7 (28:03):
Yes, of course I would love to share mine.
Speaker 12 (28:06):
Basically, I this is my first time ever getting called
into standards for my sorority. I had been at a
frat event and I had just seen some stuff on
the internet that was funny about people stealing composites and
people I don't know doing silly things when they were out,
(28:29):
and I thought it would be funny to steal a
composite off of the wall because they were in the
middle of the hallway and no one was inside. Everyone
was outdoors, So I thought it would be funny, and
I was talking to one of my friends about it,
and she told me that I should do it, and
I was like, okay, but I don't want to do
it by myself, and she didn't want to do it
(28:50):
with me, and so then I was like, I mentioned
it to some one of my other friends and she
said that she was. She wanted to do it with me,
so we both just decided to pick one, a random
one close to the door to escape, and we ripped
it off of the wall and ran out of the house.
(29:11):
And then I was worried about getting I was worried
about stealing it and not returning it, like I wanted
them to have it back. I just thought it was
funny in the moment, so I left it on the
side of the road next to their house because we
were worried about I mean, they're pretty expensive, and I
was just I felt bad. There's people on it, and
(29:32):
people that their pictures are taken and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Year from my ear do you remember? Was it from
a long time ago?
Speaker 12 (29:38):
I think the picture was twenty eleven, so it wasn't
too recent, but it.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
Wasn't too old, okay, so it was like a.
Speaker 12 (29:44):
Little in between. But we left it on the side
of the road. And then I think it got circular.
Speaker 7 (29:50):
Someone found it.
Speaker 12 (29:51):
On the side of the road and it got I
think it got maybe returned to them, But anyway, I
had i'd been a while and then I had received
an email from my sorority that had basically said it
said dear Rowan, you are called into a meeting with
standards for your actions at said frat.
Speaker 7 (30:16):
Please meet with us at this time.
Speaker 12 (30:19):
And that's when I started to freak out a little
bit because I had never been called into standards before, right,
and I did not know what to expect because I
was a freshman in college and it was something that
I was so new to that I was like, I
don't know how they're gonna punish me, Like, I don't
know how'm gonna get bined.
Speaker 7 (30:35):
I don't know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 12 (30:37):
And so my friend had gotten the same email, and
so after chapter we get called into this room.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Well, when she got the same email, did you guys
then think, okay, so this is probably about the composite.
Speaker 7 (30:51):
Yes, I think, I assume.
Speaker 12 (30:52):
Because it had said the fraternity's name, I knew that
it was probably in regards to this, and since we
both got the same email, we kind of connected the
dots and were like, this is probably what it's for.
Speaker 7 (31:06):
They didn't stay specifically in the email.
Speaker 12 (31:08):
I think what I was being called in for just
I was being called in for something, and then I.
Speaker 7 (31:14):
Think they they mentioned it in the meeting.
Speaker 12 (31:17):
Once I got there, they were like, this is why
you've been called in. But I in the email they
didn't say that got it, but I kind of figure
that it was right. Yeah, And then I went into
the meeting and they had basically asked me why I
did it, and I had explained that I it was
really sorry and I regret doing it, and that it
(31:40):
was I thought it was funny, but it was kind
of a stressful meeting.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 12 (31:46):
And then I thought, and then they told me that
I had to write a letter to the fraternity president
to apologize.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
But by the way, you have to forgive me because
at the beginning of this, I thought you had stolen
a composite off of the sorority house.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
I didn't realize you stole it.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Now it is funny now, I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 12 (32:05):
Yes, because if I had taken one out of the
sorority it would have been I think a little bit
less problematic because.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
It would be my own house.
Speaker 12 (32:13):
Because it was not my own house, so it was
a little bit problematic.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Okay, all right, I can't why you'd have to go
to standards for that. Yeah, nice move, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 7 (32:24):
It was fun.
Speaker 12 (32:24):
It was fun I thought it was funny, and I
still think it's funny.
Speaker 7 (32:27):
Yeah, but the whole reason So when I.
Speaker 12 (32:30):
Got into Standards, I at first was kind of like,
how did they know I personally did this? Like because
I was seen by nobody, Like no one had watched
me do it and it.
Speaker 7 (32:40):
Was just me and my front No. I got caught on.
Speaker 12 (32:43):
The security cameras outside of their front door and they
had a full video of us running out the door
with the It was a huge composite, like it had
to take of us to carry it, and it was
a It was a video of us like running out
the doors down the steps, and that's how I got caught.
Speaker 7 (33:02):
And they had like pulled it up and were like
is this you? And it was me. But that's basically.
Speaker 12 (33:09):
How I got caught and got sent to standards because
the frat, I guess, sent it and we're like do
you know who this is?
Speaker 7 (33:17):
And it was me and my friend, which is crazy.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
So what were the consequences?
Speaker 12 (33:24):
I had been told I was going to get fined
and that I had to write a letter to the
fraternity president stating my apology, and it was two pages
long and I had to sign it and address him,
and then I was told I was going to get
fined and billed by the frat.
Speaker 7 (33:41):
But I had never received.
Speaker 12 (33:43):
That fine, like the billing from the fraternity, because I
found out that it was because they were too lazy
to actually send me the bill, like they just didn't
want to go through the process.
Speaker 7 (33:55):
Of I guess billing us.
Speaker 12 (33:57):
But it was going to be a crazy amount, like
five plus dollars because I think composites cost like two
thousand dollars, so we were gonna have to split the
fine and then it getting billed to us. But I
guess they never even they didn't I guess didn't care enough,
were too lazy, didn't want to send us the bill,
so I never got billed, but I still had to
(34:17):
write a letter, right, I still got sent to Stanford.
Speaker 6 (34:20):
The boys never even sent you the bill. No, rat
boys are the best.
Speaker 12 (34:25):
Yes, And I didn't have to pay five hundred dollars,
which was amazing for my bank account.
Speaker 6 (34:30):
Yeah, from your bank account. You wouldn't have lost your parents.
Speaker 12 (34:34):
No, No, I have not told my parents. They still
do not know to this day.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
That would have been I don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I think my kids would have told me and I
would have said, well, that sucks for you that you
have to pay it.
Speaker 6 (34:45):
I still think it's funny.
Speaker 12 (34:47):
Wait, yeah, I think my mom would have had the
same reaction of that sucks for you and you have
to pay that.
Speaker 6 (34:53):
But yeah, yeah, you know it's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
There are a lot of really kind of scary stories
scary standards, so I actually appreciate hearing this one.
Speaker 6 (35:04):
Because it makes me giggle. It doesn't feel really that serious,
and it's.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Something that you would have absolutely done at your age,
and I would probably do it to me.
Speaker 12 (35:13):
Yeah, and now you have a story, yes, exactly, a
story that I'll have for the rest of my life.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
Yeah, thank you for coming on.
Speaker 7 (35:21):
Of course, thank you for having me ate it.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
All right, guys, now let's get into my standard story.
So my standard story is a little different than the norm.
It happened season eleven of Real Housewives in New Jersey,
which aired in twenty twenty one. So in that episode
of Real Housewives in New Jersey, my mom and Jackie
(36:01):
were arguing.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
My mom heard a cheating rumor.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
And Jackie goes, that's like me hearing that Gia snorts
coke in the bathroom att parties.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
My mother flipped out like that was. It was obviously
like a.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Very insane statement to make, regardless if it was an
analogy or not, like you're talking about somebody's child and drugs, Like,
there was just a lot wrong with that statement, and
it blew up.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
One, it was my junior year of college and my
friend was on Standards and Zeta got wind of it
that this was out there, and they said to my friend,
do you think we should call Gia in to standards
(36:55):
to ask her one if I do coke in the
bathroom and two.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
If she's okay?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
If she's okay, It was just kind of there, Oh,
let's be nice, make sure that like her mental health
is in check. They really wanted to know if I
did coke in the bathroom, And my friend on Standards
looked at them and just basically said, this is a
bad idea. Gia is going to be so mad that
(37:25):
you are bringing her mom's show and something that didn't
involve her, but a comment was made about her, and
now you're bringing that into her.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
College sorority life.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
My friend knew that I was going to be so pissed,
so she warned me I was going to be pulled
into standards. I was pissed, and I'm sitting on this
zoom call with like a straight face, and they go, Gia, like,
we saw what was what has been on the tabloids
(37:59):
and what just aired on Bravo.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Do you.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Participate in doing the drug cocaine? And I was like, no,
I do not do coke. And they saw just how
like unfazed I was and how pissed I was, and
it kind of ended there. It was a very quick
phone call, but it just annoyed me. That's something so
(38:28):
avoidable and a very stupid comment that was obviously made
on The Real Housewives in New Jersey affected me in
my college life and just that people were talking about it.
And also the girls in my sorority knew that I
didn't engage in cocaine. They knew that I didn't do
the drug. So it was just such a crazy statement
(38:52):
and such a crazy question to ask me. You didn't
have to bring me to standards for that. It would
And they blamed it on NASH. They said that Nationals
got involved and wanted them to clarify and just ask
me about the topic, and I was like, also, you know,
(39:15):
if you guys really knew me, and they all were
out with me all the time at mixers day parties,
like you knew the girls that did drugs or you
like you just you knew. They knew that I never
participated in any of that. So that's what got me
(39:37):
even more mad, because I'm like, oh, what did you
guys just get off on asking me something that had
something to do with the Real Housewives in New Jersey.
I just thought it was a very immature move, very
immature thing, and they probably just were on their high
horse for a minute and got off on it, but
(39:57):
definitely annoyed me. But yeah, that was the only time
I got called to standards, and I was so upset
that I texted Jack E. Goldschneider about it afterwards, and
I was like, I just got called to standards because
of the comment that got that you made. And I understand, like,
(40:20):
this is a reality TV show and my mom did
something that hurt you, But I had nothing to do
with what my mom did to you on the show.
So I just didn't appreciate that you had to bring
me into your argument, and now it costed in me.
It was humiliating, you know, to be called to Standards
(40:40):
for something that I didn't do and that I would
never entertain or engage in. And I was like, this
is it. This is just unacceptable. And she obviously apologized
and she never wished for that to happen to me,
and yeah, now me and Jackie are fine and all
(41:02):
all is good. So this was our inside look into
what the life of Standards is.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
I would say it's kind of a little.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Government that runs sorority life and keeps everything in check.
And that was it for this week's episode of Dirty Rush.
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority life with
your hosts me Gia Judice.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hey, guys, and welcome to Dirty Rush, where we are
giving you the inside scoop on sorority life. In this episode,
we are talking about standards. Standards is basically a group
of people who run a committee.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
And basically punish you on your behavior.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
There is proper etiquette and proper behavior that is necessary
while being in a sorority.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
And we are.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Going to dive deep, have some callers calling in and
telling us their standard story and at the end maybe
you'll hear a story from me. I have a celebrity
guest here with me today, Mercedes north Up.
Speaker 4 (00:56):
Welcome to Dirty Rush. Excited to be here, so excited
to have you here.
Speaker 5 (01:00):
So new announcement. You just launched your podcast. Yes, famously
available with Ben. It has been so much fun, having fun.
It's all about dating, so you know.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Getting back into the dating room.
Speaker 5 (01:13):
Yes, girl, I'm back in there. It's so scary, but
I'm ready.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Honestly, this is.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
So fun though. Yes, the dating podcast.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
You're kind of just doing the intros right now, but
then you're gonna get into dating, like went on dates
via podcast.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Yeah, which is so crazy interesting. So I kind of
took a break from dating. I haven't dated in like
two years, which is a long time. I needed time
just to like, I don't know, I went through I
had a really bad situation ship again, you know. So
I had two years off and I was like, I
saw my mom. I'm like, I think the next time,
Like I'm going to go on a date, Like they're
setting me up on a day I need to like
(01:51):
get ready. So I'm clienting my practice date on Saturday.
The poor guy doesn't know it, but who knows.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Maybe this practice yining armor literally know, Oh.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
My god, I love that.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
Yeah okay, so my fingers crossed for the date on side. Yeah,
we'll see.
Speaker 6 (02:09):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
I'll keep you updated.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So Dirty Rush, you know that it's all about sorority life,
and we kind of just talk about the good, the bad,
the ugly and really get into the truth about sorority life.
Speaker 4 (02:21):
So where did you go? Were you in a sorority?
Speaker 7 (02:23):
Yes?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
What was your experience?
Speaker 8 (02:24):
Like?
Speaker 4 (02:25):
So I went to Iowa State and stayed in state.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
Yes, okay, yeah, yep, went i of state study fashion.
It was like, I loved that school. It was so
much fun. But I honestly didn't know much about recruitment,
but I a few Are you the oldest?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (02:43):
And my mom was like having fifteen, Like she didn't
go to college. So I was like, my moss one
nothing when I.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Don't you have to pay deuce? She goes what was like,
what is that? Yeah? Literally, you're rushing a sorority. What's that?
Speaker 7 (02:55):
Literally?
Speaker 6 (02:55):
That was me.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I had no idea what I was doing, what I
was getting myself into. But my roommate she was like,
I'm doing it, like you should do it with me,
And I'm like, okay, like sure, why not?
Speaker 4 (03:05):
Like that's just what it is.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Went through recruitment, had a really good recruitment process, honestly,
and my top three were the Z, Kapa and tried
delt Okay, and then pref Night, I went Kappa and DZ,
and then I ended up going DZ. Bitted them, they
bitted me, so that's where I went, and I loved
d Z. It was so much fun. I met like
all my best friends, but there was some issues too.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
They were very.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
Hard on us sometimes, like just having like certain things
that we could do and couldn't do. And I was,
you know, a freshman. I'm like, I'm literally in college.
I this is my time to like do what I want,
Like let me go to a party, let me post
a beer in the.
Speaker 4 (03:50):
Oh, and you couldn't and we would get fine.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:53):
Oh my, I gotta say I was stayed in standards.
Oh my gosh, like I was sending my ass to standards.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
They really did, but it was until you were initiated,
after initiation, then you were able to write no.
Speaker 5 (04:05):
Oh no, No, they were very strict. Maybe they didn't
want that image. It's just so crazy because we were
like cut it on the party house, okay, but they
like were very but like the Yeah, they were strict.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
And you were in your sorority all four years.
Speaker 5 (04:18):
No, I actually dropped my junior year, did you just
because I was getting I was tired of getting fined
like random things like I don't even remember what I
got fined for, but I was like I'm not paying that,
like I'm not doing this anymore. Like and it was
just so expensive.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh yeah, sometimes it's a money grab.
Speaker 9 (04:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
I think my dues were like three hundred dollars if
you a month and then if you missed, which as
a college students like pretty expensive, Like I was paying
for it, So that was that. And then also like
if you missed, what's it? Why am I forgetting what
it's called? Like chapter chapter? They find you like one
hundred dollars. Yeah, I'm not doing that. And I loved
(04:58):
going home and like being with my family, and it
was always on Sundays.
Speaker 4 (05:02):
I was like, yeah, after it was always on Sunday,
always on Sundays.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
I hated that when I would go home for Sunday
dinner and I had to leave to go to chapter That's.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
What I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
And I would have to like request, like, can I
go on zoom today for this chapter meeting? I would
always say, Now, sometimes we were in drafter for five.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Minutes, I know, and they needed to do Yeah, it's
so dope, they needed five minutes. Yeah, but yeah, I
was just over the fighting and over getting in trouble
with them.
Speaker 4 (05:30):
So I was like, I'm just going to drop.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Sarah, Welcome to Dirty Rush.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Hi, thanks for having me so excited to hear your story.
Speaker 8 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (05:43):
So I think I kind of have a unique like
experience because when I was in college, I went to
a really big public school in LA.
Speaker 8 (05:53):
Some people might know it.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
It's U C.
Speaker 11 (05:55):
L A.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
And oh was sick.
Speaker 8 (05:57):
And I like definitely loved my experience.
Speaker 10 (05:59):
But I so much so that I was president of
my sorority. And so when I was president, I served
on standards. A big reason why a lot of people
got called into standards was because a lot of our
events were off campus at different venues around the city
in La, and so there would be these long bus
rides where people would heavily pregame prior to these bus
(06:22):
rides to these events, and every single event, without fail,
somebody would throw up on the bus. And we had
members of our sorority called like sober sisters sober monitors,
whose role was to like, of course make sure everyone
was safe and okay, but also to like give trash
back to anyone on the bus that would looked like
(06:42):
they were about to throw up, and then also like
report them back to the sorority if they did throw up,
because like then the sorority would have to pay that
huge fine or whatever.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Yeah, so that was a.
Speaker 10 (06:53):
Big standards call in and I, yes was president, was
serving on the on board of standards. Prior to that,
had been called into standards for throwing up on a bus.
I was a freshman and I was actually supposed to
be a sober monitor. Oh no, yeah, so it was
(07:15):
really bad. It was like, not only did you throw
up on the bus, but you.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Also you were watching everywhere.
Speaker 9 (07:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 10 (07:21):
Was not my proudest moment, but that that's my standard story.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
That is so funny.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Girls got brought to standards because they were encouraging me
to drink on midnight.
Speaker 8 (07:36):
When you were just when you had just basically like.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Just went home, like I just went to Zeta, I
just got my bid, Like we ran home and it
was midday, so we were all just like having a
big party in the house.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
And to be.
Speaker 10 (07:51):
Honest, though, were you did you feel peer pressured or
were you oh take part?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
No, like one hundred percent, I felt here pressured. Oh
you did no good drink like no, because I knew
I wasn't supposed to.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
But somehow standards got wind of it, and then my
older sisters got in trouble because they were.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Like, like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
This is obviously unacceptable, And then that girl literally had
to write an apology.
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Letter to me.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I didn't think it was that big of a deal,
but obviously it was a big deal to the sorority
because for liability purposes.
Speaker 10 (08:32):
Then it's like when Standard catches you, then what do
they do with you to punish you? This Standard punishment
was like you have to be a sober sister again.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I think that was the main punishment for Zeta too.
It was either like they would take away some mixture,
some mixers you weren't able to go out, or like
they made you a sober monitor for the next eight party.
And obviously if you got that, you were pissed because
your night was ruined. I think Standards definitely has their
(09:07):
normal protocol and what they follow. I think the end
goal is just to make you more like a better
and more responsible person in the long run.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Thank you, Sarah, This.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Was awesome, but I'm glad you made a step up.
You went from throwing up on the bus on the
way to a day party to then becoming.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
The president of your sorority.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, so that shows growth. This is exactly what the
sororities wanted. Miranda, Welcome to Dirty Rush.
Speaker 9 (09:37):
Thank you so much. When you say the word Standards,
I get chills in my body. It literally brings back
trauma feelings. No, I hate that, yeah, in a funny way.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
But I feel like everyone felt like that when they
got called to standards.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
It's so true because no one gets called in for
a great reason. And our standards was made up of
our friends, sisters, and then an advisor or two, so
it was pretty intense and my funny enough. When I
was in my aurority, my sister was also in the
same southrority and she was on standards.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
She probably like internally wanted to kill you, like, oh
my god, my sister just getting called.
Speaker 9 (10:19):
The honest truth is I wish it was for an exciting,
fun reason, like a behavioral one. But I was called
in with my sister to standards. And again she was
on standards because our bills were never paid because my
dad is just a very fun kind of traveling guy
who just would completely forget or not send in the
paycheck or the building. So we would get called in together.
(10:43):
And again she was on standards because our bills were
not being paid. And I remember sitting there thinking, I'm nineteen,
I have, you know, twenty dollars at best in my pocket,
Like I don't know what to do about this. Yeah,
And it was just very awkward, hilarious experience because it
was my friends saying pay your bill and saying, okay,
call my parents because I barely have money for dinner
(11:03):
this week. When I hear standards now, it just brings
up a little PTSD because it was not fun.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Looking back at standards, I feel like they were just
trying to constantly teach you a lesson.
Speaker 9 (11:15):
I so agree. I think there were so many lessons
being in authority and learning to live with all the
girls and absolutely standards was is reality.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Hi guys, it's Jen Fessler here with another standard story.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Here on Dirty Rush.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
We have Elizabeth today who's going to talk to us
about her experience that she had in terms of standards
and what happened and how it all went down.
Speaker 11 (11:55):
So Hi Elizabeth, Hi, Okay, Yes, So my standards story
was kind of the typical of posting with alcohol, not
being able to post.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
With alcohol, and I knew that. But basically, in my sorority,
we have an Instagram account and it's a normal girl's name,
but if they comment a heart on your post, it
means delete that post immediately and we won't say anything
to you, and it's all good. But my ambitious self
was like, Oh, they're gonna forget about that. They're not
(12:29):
gonna remember they commented a heart, So I did not
delete that post. And then I posted again with what
looked like a lemonade cup. It could have been a
lemonade cup, but it was alcohol. And they commented another
heart on my post, and so I was like, oh, no,
like two hearts. Now, I should probably delete it, but
I didn't.
Speaker 6 (12:48):
Why didn't you?
Speaker 8 (12:49):
I don't know. I think I was just kind of like,
it looks like lemonade, like, and I was like, this
is such a double standard. So many of them post
with alcohol, like and they it's just a favorite thing.
They pick the people they want to call the art
and then they pick people that they're like, oh, they
can get away with it.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
So it was almost like you're almost not giving them
a fu but kind of like you were sort of
standing up for yourself in say so it wasn't.
Speaker 6 (13:14):
As if you were just like, they won't notice. It
was more like, no, this is not fair.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
I think it was a little bit of both, Like
the first time it was like, oh, they won't notice,
and then the second time it was like, this is
so annoying. I keep seeing all these people in my
sorority posting with alcohol as well, and all these posts
are not getting hearts on it, Like why am I
getting a heart comment? So and of course I'm like
thinking my private story on Snapchat is like a safe
(13:39):
place to go. So I'm like, they're trying to take
my like rights away. I can post it right want whatever?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
In I mean, I'm not, I don't even I don't
think that's so out of the realm of.
Speaker 6 (13:51):
Right and true. You should be able to post what
you want.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Although I get that, I guess you know what you
guys post is in some way or reflection problems. When
I was I was in a sorority a million and
ten years ago, we didn't have social media. But was
it also is it a particularly fun post? Were you like,
I love this post. I don't want to take it down?
Speaker 8 (14:13):
It was a semester recap, so I was like, okay,
I have to take.
Speaker 6 (14:16):
The time on it.
Speaker 8 (14:17):
Yeah, right, And it was like yeah, And I think
this was before the Instagram update of like you can
delete one like slide out of your post, So this
was before you can.
Speaker 6 (14:27):
That's good for me to know you can do that.
Speaker 8 (14:28):
Yeah, but before you couldn't do that. So I was like, oh,
this is my semester post, like I'm whatever, right, right, yeah,
But then they DM me and I'm like still in
this stubborn state of mind of like I just won't
open it. It doesn't stay seen if I don't open it.
So like, so this Instagram account DMS meat like, I
(14:50):
don't know, I.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Want to meet your mom. I want my daughter to
be just like that. She is actually like this.
Speaker 8 (14:55):
I think my mom would be so upset with me. Really,
she was just delete it. It's Instagram, and I'd be like.
Speaker 6 (15:03):
Maybe she's right.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I don't even know, but I'm kind of like, I'm
just happy to hear about you not letting yourself get
pushed around.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
Although yeah you did, Okay, I'll let you finish your story.
Speaker 8 (15:13):
So then anyways, I'm like, oh, I got away with it,
but little did I know. I get a standards email.
So I think every school does a different but for mine,
we get an email and it's like come an hour
before chapter on Sundays and you just go into this
room and they basically tell you what you did. Some
people go in there like completely blind, like I don't
even know what I did. I obviously had all of
(15:34):
this right, and I did. So I go into this meeting.
It's the president, risk chair, the standards committee, just like
all of them, and I'm like, basically in.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
A circle or do they like you have to face
them all.
Speaker 8 (15:47):
It's just like around a table and you just sit
down one of the chairs. It's actually like pretty chill
at my school. They don't make it very crazy, but
it is a little bit intimidating sitting down with like
the president of your sorority and you know exactly what
you did and so yeah, so they just sat me
down and they were like listen, like we commented the hearts,
(16:08):
you know, the drill, we DMD you, I know, you
didn't open it, like they knew exactly what it was right,
And I was just like I'm sorry, yeah, it won't
happen again. I'm just explaining that. And then there has
to be a repercussion for everything, basically with standards. And
so they had me write a ham written paper like
(16:30):
a letter to them basically saying how exactly what you
said before, like this is a reflection of us as
a chapter. This isn't just because we want you to
take down your Instagram post and I was like, okay,
that's okay, I'll do that. So it had to be
a handwritten letter, and I had to bring it into
chapter the week after on Sunday. And so in this letter,
I'm just like, this won't happen again. I understand this
(16:52):
is a reflection of my sorority. I committed to something,
like just kind of writing what they want to hear,
like it's an Instagram post. I don't really care. And
then yeah, so then you have to bring it in
the next week into chapter and hand it to them.
But of course you're walking into chapter with a piece
of paper, and everyone knows what this means, like it's anyone.
Speaker 6 (17:14):
Really cares, and everyone like kind of laughing about it.
Speaker 8 (17:17):
Yeah, it's a laughing matter. It's not like, oh my gosh,
blah blah blah. I mean so many people have to
do this. Half my friends had to do stuff because
they didn't show up to events that were mandatory and
they had to write letter saying that it's really rude
to commit to something and then whatever. So it's all
hand written letters. But when you're showing up to chapter
with a ham written letter, like everyone knows that you
(17:38):
went to standard right right my eyes, I'm like slyly
handing my piece of the person.
Speaker 6 (17:45):
For you embarrass did you feel?
Speaker 2 (17:47):
I mean, I just think I'm thinking about why they
make you do it that way, Like why they make
you walk into chapter with it, yeah, written in front
of everyone and hand it over. I mean it's so
obviously too I'm sorry to say, but you may not agree,
but to kind of shame you a little bit.
Speaker 8 (18:04):
Oh yeah, I think half of it is. But I
also think my sorority is like traditional with a lot
of things. We don't like to do a lot of
stuff on technology. So I think maybe the traditional part
of it is like oh hamdwritten letter. It's a little
bit more like authentic and like you mean it rather
than like chat gbting something or whatever. Yeah, but I
think that actually, like physically handing it to them during
(18:26):
chapter is definitely like oh.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
We're gonna shame yeah exactly.
Speaker 8 (18:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (18:34):
I mean, were you upset you? Did it take any
Did it take a toll on you?
Speaker 8 (18:39):
I think I'm just like my stubborn self was like
they got me, Like it didn't upset me, but I
was just like, yes, of course I couldn't get away
that's so funny. Yeah, like so many people get away
with stuff like that, though. I mean like I was
a sophomore when that happens, so a little bit of
me was like, okay, just whatever, You're still an underclassman,
(18:59):
like this happens, maybe you can get away with it
junior and senior year if you really want to again.
But I just think some of it's kind of like
I didn't know anyone in the standards committee or like
the risk chair or anything. Like, I wasn't friends with them,
so they weren't going to like favor me like they
favorite their friends, Like.
Speaker 6 (19:15):
Can you say that to them? Like can you say other? Really?
Speaker 8 (19:19):
Well, I wouldn't personally, yeah, but I'm sure people wouldn't
like balls. People would, But I personally was just like, okay,
I'll write this letter like write worries.
Speaker 6 (19:31):
Yeah, no, I get that. I get that just wasn't
worth it.
Speaker 8 (19:34):
Yeah, it wasn't worth it to me.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Yeah, you know it's funny. I want to have my daughter,
come on, she has a story about standards. Well, I
should say we do, because she got called in to
standards her senior year for something that happened to her.
But instead of like there being any kind of real
talk with her or like what happened She just got
(20:00):
an email she had to go in front of standards
and really inappropriate because at some point you all are
grown women and your mommies should probably stay out of it.
Speaker 6 (20:09):
But I completely lost my shit, and I knew it was.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Just like, there's no they haven't even heard what you
had to say, and standards. I guess she could have
told them what she had to say, but standards is
almost like you've done something wrong. Yeah, and anyway, so
I called, I guess I called the house mother.
Speaker 6 (20:26):
What are they called, yeah, the house mother, house mother?
And this is completely unacceptable.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You know.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
She was so upset because and I'm hoping that she
will come out and tell her story. I don't want
to tell it for her, but it was really something
that happened to her, and a really an awful thing.
Speaker 6 (20:43):
Anyway, so.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I said, I don't really get this. These are the
whole point of this is that you meet these girls
and they become your sisters. First, like want to get
behind you, talk to you what happened before bringing you
in front of a disciplinary committee. It just seemed egregious
to me, and I was like just pissed. I was like,
(21:10):
what is this for if it's not to find people
that are going to be on your side, not for everything.
Speaker 6 (21:13):
When you do something wrong, you do something wrong.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
But she hadn't, and so it just made it worse
that she was getting called into Sanders. Needless to say,
they said, you're absolutely right, she doesn't have to come
in and thought what you did for them because I
was ready to go down.
Speaker 8 (21:29):
There and yeah, they didn't want to deal with you exactly.
Speaker 6 (21:32):
Good for Rachel too, because I would mortified her. But
I you know, I think that probably.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
For a lot of young women girls that it is
really scary and it's intimidating, and I'm glad to hear
you guys just kind of sat or sit around a
round table. I think sometimes it's even more it's like
meant to be intimidating.
Speaker 8 (21:53):
A little bit. Yeah, I think so, you know, mm hmm, yeah.
I think especially like just seeing your president and like
people who are supposed to be like risk chair and
all of that in front of your face.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
So I mean I think that you know, you join
a sorority to be part of this sisterhood and to
know that all of these girls have your back right,
And I'm again I'm not taking away from the fact
that if you screw up and you are doing something
that is reflecting badly on your sorority, that there shouldn't
(22:25):
be consequences for that.
Speaker 6 (22:27):
I absolutely know that that's true.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
And even back in my day, even though there was
in social media, you know, there was like a love
you could get in trouble, you can get thrown out,
whatever it was. But I don't know, I feel like
maybe I'm a little biased because of what happened to
my daughter. But let's first like talk about it without
going to standards, you know, before we go to a
disciplinary committee, like what happened. Maybe not in your case
(22:51):
because if there was hard m I'm kind of giving
them the little fingers, the middle fingers, So maybe not.
Speaker 8 (22:58):
Yeah, yeah, no, they definitely gave me warnings. But I
will say that is true because people who go in
there blind and like have no clue what they did.
Like that's intimidating, and that's got to be like who
knows what they're about to say to me, But like
would be the worst day of my life could be okay,
and you just don't know.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I mean, at the end of the day. The worst
thing that they that could happen is that they can
kick you out, right, Yeah, I mean I guess they're
also well I'm sure do you Priory talked about it.
Speaker 6 (23:26):
But there's things that they can do.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I mean whatever, I don't know what in your sorority,
what are your what are the consequences?
Speaker 6 (23:34):
There are probably a different levels.
Speaker 8 (23:35):
I would think, Yeah, you could be on probation, which
I don't really know what those all entail, like with details,
but yeah, you could be on probation for a little bit,
or you could like not be able to go to
a formal, which is the fun part obviously, right right, right,
So they definitely have different consequences. I think mine was
like one of the lesser versions of what they do.
(23:57):
I know a lot of my friends who have had
to go also have to write hand written letters. So
I didn't think that was crazy that I had to
do that.
Speaker 7 (24:04):
She was grateful for.
Speaker 8 (24:05):
But yeah, they could have told me, like you're not
going to this next formal like whatever, But yeah, they
didn't do that.
Speaker 6 (24:13):
Thank god. I'm so glad.
Speaker 8 (24:14):
Yeah, that is the fun part.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Well, anything else any other ideas or thoughts about standards,
your experience.
Speaker 8 (24:23):
I mean with me, that was the only time I've
gone I will say that like a girl. I know
we've talked about like shame and everything, and I don't
think that's their intention with everything that they do. So
I want to like take it with a grain of
salt type of thing, like I know a lot of
my friends who have gone through like emotional stress and
all of that get called into standards, which, like you
(24:45):
were saying with your daughter, that's not a great thing
that they're getting called into standards because it makes it
seem like they did something wrong. But when they actually
are in the meeting, standards will be like, hey, we're
here for you and we want to provide resources, but
to kind of get you in like an area where
we could all be with you. And this is just
like the protocol. So I know that they do definitely
(25:05):
help with that. They probably should go about it in
a different way and not call it a standards meeting.
Speaker 6 (25:09):
But listen, I'm glad to hear that.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I really am you for clarifying that, because again, like
when I when my daughter went through it, I was like,
you're getting called into what, yeah, stand in front of
who I don't think so so yeah, no, I hear
you if it's if that is, I mean, I think
girls probably do still get scared, you know, oh yeah
(25:34):
for sure, which I don't.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
I don't love. I mean, you should feel like you're
talking to your sisters, yes, you know, per se.
Speaker 8 (25:41):
Yeah, you're also talking to girls your own age, Like,
I mean a couple of them were older than me,
like the president and stuff. But I was like, why
am I next to someone who I literally just rushed
with and she's telling me what my consequences? That's so awkward.
Speaker 6 (25:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, Do you ever be on a committee on standards committee?
Speaker 8 (25:59):
No? Because I don't think I could do that to
people that I'm like really good friends with. I don't know,
it's so awkward. And I've heard the stories of like
it gets complicated with friends and like if your roommates
with them, and it kind of gets weird, like are
you gonna do the same things that you would do
before they were on this committee? Like I don't want
my friends to have to like hold back from their
(26:22):
like lives just because I'm on this like committee, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (26:26):
I only think people would do it because it looks
good on your resume.
Speaker 8 (26:28):
Maybe right, Yeah, it is great. It's a leadership position.
It probably does look really good on a resume, but otherwise, yeah,
I just wouldn't want like my friends or people to
not do or act as they normally would around me,
just because I'm like.
Speaker 6 (26:43):
I don't want to do either. Yeah, yeah, I hear you.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Okay, well, Elizabeth, thank you, sweet girl, thank you for
coming on. I'm glad that you escaped a bigger punishment
and right and I could do everything.
Speaker 6 (26:59):
And that you still go into the normals.
Speaker 8 (27:01):
Yes, I am saying I'm trouble good for you.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
All right, Well, thank you so much, and we love
talking to you. Thanks everybody gus listening. And girls, don't
post things that you don't want to get in trouble for.
That's the moral of this story. Okay, so now we
have Rowan Rowan. Hi there, how are you doing? Hi?
Speaker 7 (27:24):
I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 6 (27:25):
I'm good. I appreciate you calling in from abroad. Where
are you?
Speaker 12 (27:29):
I'm in Portugal right now, but I study rod in Florence.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
How great is that?
Speaker 7 (27:35):
Yes, it's amazing. I love it.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
I'll bet do they have standards in Florence?
Speaker 7 (27:39):
No, they don't good day.
Speaker 8 (27:41):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
That's nice. That's a good thing. So Rowan, do you
want to share where you go to school?
Speaker 7 (27:47):
Yes, I go to UCLA.
Speaker 6 (27:49):
You're brainiac just a little bit, very nice, Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
So yeah, we've been doing a lot of talking about
standards and different young women experiences, so I love for
you to share yours.
Speaker 7 (28:03):
Yes, of course I would love to share mine.
Speaker 12 (28:06):
Basically, I this is my first time ever getting called
into standards for my sorority. I had been at a
frat event and I had just seen some stuff on
the internet that was funny about people stealing composites and
people I don't know doing silly things when they were out,
(28:29):
and I thought it would be funny to steal a
composite off of the wall because they were in the
middle of the hallway and no one was inside. Everyone
was outdoors, So I thought it would be funny, and
I was talking to one of my friends about it,
and she told me that I should do it, and
I was like, okay, but I don't want to do
it by myself, and she didn't want to do it
(28:50):
with me, and so then I was like, I mentioned
it to some one of my other friends and she
said that she was. She wanted to do it with me,
so we both just decided to pick one, a random
one close to the door to escape, and we ripped
it off of the wall and ran out of the house.
(29:11):
And then I was worried about getting I was worried
about stealing it and not returning it, like I wanted
them to have it back. I just thought it was
funny in the moment, so I left it on the
side of the road next to their house because we
were worried about I mean, they're pretty expensive, and I
was just I felt bad. There's people on it, and
(29:32):
people that their pictures are taken and stuff like that.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Year from my ear do you remember? Was it from
a long time ago?
Speaker 12 (29:38):
I think the picture was twenty eleven, so it wasn't
too recent, but it.
Speaker 6 (29:42):
Wasn't too old, okay, so it was like a.
Speaker 12 (29:44):
Little in between. But we left it on the side
of the road. And then I think it got circular.
Speaker 7 (29:50):
Someone found it.
Speaker 12 (29:51):
On the side of the road and it got I
think it got maybe returned to them, But anyway, I
had i'd been a while and then I had received
an email from my sorority that had basically said it
said dear Rowan, you are called into a meeting with
standards for your actions at said frat.
Speaker 7 (30:16):
Please meet with us at this time.
Speaker 12 (30:19):
And that's when I started to freak out a little
bit because I had never been called into standards before, right,
and I did not know what to expect because I
was a freshman in college and it was something that
I was so new to that I was like, I
don't know how they're gonna punish me, Like, I don't
know how'm gonna get bined.
Speaker 7 (30:35):
I don't know what's gonna happen.
Speaker 12 (30:37):
And so my friend had gotten the same email, and
so after chapter we get called into this room.
Speaker 2 (30:44):
Well, when she got the same email, did you guys
then think, okay, so this is probably about the composite.
Speaker 7 (30:51):
Yes, I think, I assume.
Speaker 12 (30:52):
Because it had said the fraternity's name, I knew that
it was probably in regards to this, and since we
both got the same email, we kind of connected the
dots and were like, this is probably what it's for.
Speaker 7 (31:06):
They didn't stay specifically in the email.
Speaker 12 (31:08):
I think what I was being called in for just
I was being called in for something, and then I.
Speaker 7 (31:14):
Think they they mentioned it in the meeting.
Speaker 12 (31:17):
Once I got there, they were like, this is why
you've been called in. But I in the email they
didn't say that got it, but I kind of figure
that it was right. Yeah, And then I went into
the meeting and they had basically asked me why I
did it, and I had explained that I it was
really sorry and I regret doing it, and that it
(31:40):
was I thought it was funny, but it was kind
of a stressful meeting.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 12 (31:46):
And then I thought, and then they told me that
I had to write a letter to the fraternity president
to apologize.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
But by the way, you have to forgive me because
at the beginning of this, I thought you had stolen
a composite off of the sorority house.
Speaker 6 (31:58):
I didn't realize you stole it.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Now it is funny now, I think it's hilarious.
Speaker 12 (32:05):
Yes, because if I had taken one out of the
sorority it would have been I think a little bit
less problematic because.
Speaker 7 (32:11):
It would be my own house.
Speaker 12 (32:13):
Because it was not my own house, so it was
a little bit problematic.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Okay, all right, I can't why you'd have to go
to standards for that. Yeah, nice move, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 7 (32:24):
It was fun.
Speaker 12 (32:24):
It was fun I thought it was funny, and I
still think it's funny.
Speaker 7 (32:27):
Yeah, but the whole reason So when I.
Speaker 12 (32:30):
Got into Standards, I at first was kind of like,
how did they know I personally did this? Like because
I was seen by nobody, Like no one had watched
me do it and it.
Speaker 7 (32:40):
Was just me and my front No. I got caught on.
Speaker 12 (32:43):
The security cameras outside of their front door and they
had a full video of us running out the door
with the It was a huge composite, like it had
to take of us to carry it, and it was
a It was a video of us like running out
the doors down the steps, and that's how I got caught.
Speaker 7 (33:02):
And they had like pulled it up and were like
is this you? And it was me. But that's basically.
Speaker 12 (33:09):
How I got caught and got sent to standards because
the frat, I guess, sent it and we're like do
you know who this is?
Speaker 7 (33:17):
And it was me and my friend, which is crazy.
Speaker 6 (33:21):
So what were the consequences?
Speaker 12 (33:24):
I had been told I was going to get fined
and that I had to write a letter to the
fraternity president stating my apology, and it was two pages
long and I had to sign it and address him,
and then I was told I was going to get
fined and billed by the frat.
Speaker 7 (33:41):
But I had never received.
Speaker 12 (33:43):
That fine, like the billing from the fraternity, because I
found out that it was because they were too lazy
to actually send me the bill, like they just didn't
want to go through the process.
Speaker 7 (33:55):
Of I guess billing us.
Speaker 12 (33:57):
But it was going to be a crazy amount, like
five plus dollars because I think composites cost like two
thousand dollars, so we were gonna have to split the
fine and then it getting billed to us. But I
guess they never even they didn't I guess didn't care enough,
were too lazy, didn't want to send us the bill,
so I never got billed, but I still had to
(34:17):
write a letter, right, I still got sent to Stanford.
Speaker 6 (34:20):
The boys never even sent you the bill. No, rat
boys are the best.
Speaker 12 (34:25):
Yes, And I didn't have to pay five hundred dollars,
which was amazing for my bank account.
Speaker 6 (34:30):
Yeah, from your bank account. You wouldn't have lost your parents.
Speaker 12 (34:34):
No, No, I have not told my parents. They still
do not know to this day.
Speaker 6 (34:38):
That would have been I don't know.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
I think my kids would have told me and I
would have said, well, that sucks for you that you
have to pay it.
Speaker 6 (34:45):
I still think it's funny.
Speaker 12 (34:47):
Wait, yeah, I think my mom would have had the
same reaction of that sucks for you and you have
to pay that.
Speaker 6 (34:53):
But yeah, yeah, you know it's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
There are a lot of really kind of scary stories
scary standards, so I actually appreciate hearing this one.
Speaker 6 (35:04):
Because it makes me giggle. It doesn't feel really that serious,
and it's.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
Something that you would have absolutely done at your age,
and I would probably do it to me.
Speaker 12 (35:13):
Yeah, and now you have a story, yes, exactly, a
story that I'll have for the rest of my life.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
Yeah, thank you for coming on.
Speaker 7 (35:21):
Of course, thank you for having me ate it.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
All right, guys, now let's get into my standard story.
So my standard story is a little different than the norm.
It happened season eleven of Real Housewives in New Jersey,
which aired in twenty twenty one. So in that episode
of Real Housewives in New Jersey, my mom and Jackie
(36:01):
were arguing.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
My mom heard a cheating rumor.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
And Jackie goes, that's like me hearing that Gia snorts
coke in the bathroom att parties.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
My mother flipped out like that was. It was obviously
like a.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
Very insane statement to make, regardless if it was an
analogy or not, like you're talking about somebody's child and drugs, Like,
there was just a lot wrong with that statement, and
it blew up.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
So twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
One, it was my junior year of college and my
friend was on Standards and Zeta got wind of it
that this was out there, and they said to my friend,
do you think we should call Gia in to standards
(36:55):
to ask her one if I do coke in the
bathroom and two.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
If she's okay?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
If she's okay, It was just kind of there, Oh,
let's be nice, make sure that like her mental health
is in check. They really wanted to know if I
did coke in the bathroom, And my friend on Standards
looked at them and just basically said, this is a
bad idea. Gia is going to be so mad that
(37:25):
you are bringing her mom's show and something that didn't
involve her, but a comment was made about her, and
now you're bringing that into her.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
College sorority life.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
My friend knew that I was going to be so pissed,
so she warned me I was going to be pulled
into standards. I was pissed, and I'm sitting on this
zoom call with like a straight face, and they go, Gia, like,
we saw what was what has been on the tabloids
(37:59):
and what just aired on Bravo.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
Do you.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Participate in doing the drug cocaine? And I was like, no,
I do not do coke. And they saw just how
like unfazed I was and how pissed I was, and
it kind of ended there. It was a very quick
phone call, but it just annoyed me. That's something so
(38:28):
avoidable and a very stupid comment that was obviously made
on The Real Housewives in New Jersey affected me in
my college life and just that people were talking about it.
And also the girls in my sorority knew that I
didn't engage in cocaine. They knew that I didn't do
the drug. So it was just such a crazy statement
(38:52):
and such a crazy question to ask me. You didn't
have to bring me to standards for that. It would
And they blamed it on NASH. They said that Nationals
got involved and wanted them to clarify and just ask
me about the topic, and I was like, also, you know,
(39:15):
if you guys really knew me, and they all were
out with me all the time at mixers day parties,
like you knew the girls that did drugs or you
like you just you knew. They knew that I never
participated in any of that. So that's what got me
(39:37):
even more mad, because I'm like, oh, what did you
guys just get off on asking me something that had
something to do with the Real Housewives in New Jersey.
I just thought it was a very immature move, very
immature thing, and they probably just were on their high
horse for a minute and got off on it, but
(39:57):
definitely annoyed me. But yeah, that was the only time
I got called to standards, and I was so upset
that I texted Jack E. Goldschneider about it afterwards, and
I was like, I just got called to standards because
of the comment that got that you made. And I understand, like,
(40:20):
this is a reality TV show and my mom did
something that hurt you, But I had nothing to do
with what my mom did to you on the show.
So I just didn't appreciate that you had to bring
me into your argument, and now it costed in me.
It was humiliating, you know, to be called to Standards
(40:40):
for something that I didn't do and that I would
never entertain or engage in. And I was like, this
is it. This is just unacceptable. And she obviously apologized
and she never wished for that to happen to me,
and yeah, now me and Jackie are fine and all
(41:02):
all is good. So this was our inside look into
what the life of Standards is.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
I would say it's kind of a little.
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Government that runs sorority life and keeps everything in check.
And that was it for this week's episode of Dirty Rush.
Hosts And Creators
Teddi Mellencamp
Tamra Judge
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