August 23, 2025 • 41 mins
People pay big bucks for this advice, in this episode you get it for free.
It's not just about a spray tan and cute Loveshack Fancy clothes, our college rush consultant reveals the recruitment standards no one tells you about.
But, is it worth conforming to rigid rush expectations? Do you HAVE to glow up just to show up?
And, what happens when a coach can't get their recruit past the finish line after months of training and thousands of dollars on the line?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia Judce.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm Gia jud Dice, I'm Jen Kessler, and.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
We have another exciting guest.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You certainly do we have another sorority coach?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Oh, Leslie? Leslie? Am I gonna like you?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Or am I gonna hate you? I think that is
actually a very fair question, Miss Gia. I think this
is this is a new concept, right at least for us.
Maybe not at the University of Alabama maybe, but for us,
this is new. You had a college advisor, Yes, I
paid for a college advisor. I don't know that I
would ever pay for a sorority coach. I don't know
(00:47):
if you would ever employ one.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
No, definitely not.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So we're going to be open, Yeah, right, I want to.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Ask her what schools she predominantly works for?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, yeah, she wouldn't work for the school. But which
who needs her the most?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah? Which campus? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Her name is Leslie Cunningham.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
She's from Texas.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
She's from Texas. On that surprise, that is, I went
to school in Texas. That is the land of Greek life.
Let's bring her, let's bring her in. Hello, Hi, Leslie, Hi, Hi,
thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Sure, all right, So I guess we're gonna kind of
get into it. So this is dirty rush. We are
talking about all the ins and ounce of sorority life.
And I think a sorority coach is something that is
new to my knowledge. I went to Rutgers University, I
rushed in greek life, I was in Zada, but I
(01:43):
have never heard of a sorority coach before.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, I am. I've actually now done an interview with
or done the pod with another sorority coach. She didn't
want to be called a coach. She wanted to be
called a consultant. I don't get it. I don't know
what the difference is. You go by coach or consultant
or you know what, they're interchange They're interchangeable, okay, And
(02:08):
I just want to like even the playing field. We're
a little skeptical but also open, and we have heard
some really nice things about you and your approach, and
so you know, please tell us what you do, how
you do it, how it all works.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah, and there is I think a lot of skepticism
about this role and kind of what coaches do. But yeah,
I started my business already prep in twenty fifteen out
of the need from moms and girls who are going
to be going through the recruitment process and just wanted
help on how to navigate it. And so that's really
(02:49):
what I do, is I just kind of step in
to where the girls are in their nerves and questions
and curiosity and just help them to understand everything that
it's going to entail when they decide to, you know,
embark on this journey. There's a lot of moving parts
these days with sorority recruitment, so really my job is
(03:10):
just to kind of help them understand what to expect
and how to be themselves and showcase that in a
way that will help them to put their best foot
forward and confidently stand out amongst the masses. Because nowadays
there are hundreds, if not thousands of women who want
to be a part of Greek life, which is wonderful,
but it can also be a little intimidating for maybe
(03:32):
someone who has never tried something like this before.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So what schools or yeah, I guess schools not so
what schools predominantly like ask you to coach them.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Yeah, so that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I am typically am working with a lot of women
who are going through recruitment in the South. Obviously the
process is a little bit you know, more challenging in
terms of the ins and outs of what these girls
are expected to kind of have prepared and there's you know,
the P and M videos, and there's the outfits and
(04:12):
getting prepared for the parties themselves. But I do I
am now having more and more women from the Northeast.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Like I have a client this year.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
She's going to Columbia, and her mom, you know, just
really wants to make sure she understands what she's stepping into.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
She has a lot of more plate with school.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
And academics, and so it just makes sense to find
a landing spot for these girls in a social setting too.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, that makes sense. Leslie. Our producer told us that
you actually focus on mental health, which I was I
was thrilled to hear because I think that's probably so necessary.
Do you have some education? Are you a mental health
provider in your other life?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So I actually, in doing this for ten years, I
really start to I really started to kind of feel
the pressure from both moms and daughters to have more
of a more resourceful place for them to come when
they were facing some of these difficult challenges.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
And so this.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Last year I partnered with three mental health specialists, their counselors.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
This is what they do.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
They work in the Collegiate Women's Space, and we have
created a program. They are working with my clients separately
along with moms to help them sort of navigate how
to support their daughters, but then for the women to
give them the tools and resources they need to really
be able to handle a lot of the challenges. You know,
recruitment has some rejection built into it, and so unfortunately
(05:46):
sometimes this can be the first time for some of
these women to have rejection in their life, and so
we are really just there to help them understand.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
This is normal.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
You're going to have some of these feelings. You're going
to have some of this anxiety, these hesitations. It's part
of going off to college in a new place and
being far away from home and outside your comfort zone.
And so here are some ways that you can, you know,
prepare yourself and help you to kind of move through
the process in the most healthy way.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, it's a little daunting to think that that women,
young women need mental health help just to go through
this process. Right, Like, and I was in a sorority,
and obviously Gia was as well, and we've had a
lot of wonderful experiences, both of us, and I'm sure
you have as well. But there is something about this
process that just seems to me, and more today than
(06:38):
back in the day, because they're social media, but just
inherently anxiety provoking. And as a coach, I'm glad to
hear that you're you know, you're actually dealing with that
and addressing it. I'm curious in terms of, like what
you do outside of that so and how much of
(06:59):
it is superficial, like take this off your social media,
wear this, this with your hair this. I've even heard
that coaches sometimes recommend certain tanning approaches self tanner to
I don't know, tell us.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, no, I was going to ask you along the
same lines, like, so, going into sorority rush, say a
girl approaches you and she is really set on getting
into this one sorority and it's top tier, it's super
difficult to get into. But maybe she doesn't have their
(07:38):
quote unquote criteria or stereotypical view that they usually accept
into their sorority. Do you feel comfortable physically changing like
their entire image and personality or do you recommend to them, Okay,
maybe this isn't the right option for you, to like
better their mental health rather than completely changing their person
(08:00):
at eighteen years old.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Yeah, I think that's a great question, and something I
think both girls and moms really struggle with is having
a mindset that they want a certain thing. I approach
that a little different. When I start working with a client,
I really want to understand who she is first, because
I think these girls need to have the self confidence
(08:24):
in who they are. Because you can wear all the
designer outfits you want, you can have your hair done
in a certain way, you can go and get the
tan that you want, but that is a lot to
keep up with once you join authority, and you're not
joining for the people, you're joining just for the letters.
And so really my approach when I'm working with a
client is to understand, we want you to find your people.
(08:46):
Who you are and how you are is not going
to change immediately once you get to college. So you
need to understand what are the things that are important
to you. What are some of these things in terms
of friendships and that sense of belonging that you're really
looking for. So that when you go and you're meeting
with these different sorority women or you're having these conversations,
(09:06):
you should be able to sort of navigate and find
your people. It should be a natural part of the process.
And that's how it's built in these days as far as.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Recruitment is concerned.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And so if a woman is very set on one thing,
I do explain to them there are going to be limitations.
Not every sobrity has a spot for every single girl,
and so this may not go the exact way that
you want it to go, but you need to be
open to the options you have. There is no bad
sorority on any campus. It's really your perception. And if
(09:39):
you are going into it to try to find the
right people and to make those friendships in those connections
you're going to you're going to land where you should land.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Yeah, Leslie, I'm going to have to like actually hone
in on this because I can't imagine that you don't
also coach on where this hair like this. I'm sure
that's part of it, right.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
There is a component of I think too, you want
to present your best self. Just like today, I didn't
want to jump on here. You know, I'm at a
beach resort. I'm not going to jump on here in
my baby too cover and you know, just hope that
I look great. I'm going to take the time to
make a good first impression. It's important to me. And
so these women also need to have the self confidence.
(10:23):
I'm really hoping that, like by going through the recruitment process,
these women are well prepared to then go and try
out for an organization on campus, if that's a student
leadership position, or maybe they're going to go out and
try to find an internship that's very competitive. They want
to be able to have that skill set and then
go and launch into finding a job. And so if
(10:44):
they can't understand how to prepare for those types of
things in a competitive environment, you know, life is it
shoots a lot of things at us, and so we
have to be prepared in all of these different facets
and having your confidence, whether that's in your appearance and
just being able to kind of present yourself. You know,
these girls are very savvy and they understand that that
(11:07):
is part of it. Social media is part of it,
and your your first impression does make a big depth.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So what do you tell them in terms of do
you have specifics in terms of tanning, in terms of makeup,
are you saying to them, not a spray tan, make
sure your arms are Do you do all of that?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
I mean I talk them through. You know what is
their typical? Like what makes you feel good about yourself?
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Is that having a tan?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
You know, I have some clients that don't want good
with a spray tan, and so I'm not going to
encourage them to go and do that, but I do
think taking the time. Like I had a client this
last year. She is not someone who wears a lot
of makeup, and I told her, I'm like, just go
and get a little makeover and just see how you
feel after you have that experience, because sometimes I think
it is about the newness of trying something and you know,
(11:54):
if it.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Helps you to slap on a little lip gloss and
feel good, then that's what we want.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
We don't want you walking because there is going to
be that comparison when they're standing in line waiting to
walk into that sorority and they're looking around and they're
seeing all these girls who are putting forth a lot
of effort. You don't want to feel like you showed
up and didn't know that you were supposed to do that.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Definitely effort. But I also feel while you're rushing and
going through this sorority process that you're also fully entitled
and allowed to show your natural beauty. So I feel
like spray tands and making yourself almost nearly orange or
you know, getting a full face of makeup for sorority
(12:37):
rush does seem a bit excessive. I fully believe that
you can put your makeup on and you know, learn
how to do your makeup naturally, but I just feel
like I'm getting visions of toddlers and tierras right now,
and I just feel like this is a bit excessive
for sorority rush. And I guess maybe, uh, this is
(13:01):
a cliche of me to say, because I didn't you know,
obviously rush in the South. But I also feel like
showing your natural beauty and having that also shine through
is something that's really important. And it's like, is that
something that you instill as well?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
And too?
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah, I think I think each individual woman has, you know,
how she views herself and and part of what I
think is difficult when you're preparing for sorority recruitment is
understanding that who you are and you know what you
look like and how you present yourself. And I really
try to coach clients through not just the outer beauty,
but also what you're saying and how you say. It
(13:44):
matters too, because these young collegiate women who are making
the decisions about who to invite into their membership, they're
really paying attention to these conversations and what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
And so if you're going in there, and like you mentioned.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Before, if you have this attitude of like, this is
where I want to be and I'm not going to
have a gracious, open attitude to everyone else, you know
that could that can really hinder your experience. And I
think to take away from like you were saying, that
outer beauty that we want these girls to emulate is
you know, who they really are should be able to
(14:18):
shine through, whether that's in those conversations or on their
social media.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
I think that that should be reflected in both places.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
It shouldn't feel like there is a real disconnect between
who they are on social media and who they're presenting
themselves to be in the recruitment.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Also giving them tips on you know, etiquacy and mannerisms.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yes, what about the social media of it all? So
do you scrub their social media? And what are you
looking for? I don't want to. This is not a
(15:01):
paid session, so I don't want to take I don't
want to just steal all your tips. But I'm interested
in what do you look for and what do you
tell them to get rid of?
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So I really come to it from a perspective of
what I know the sorority women are looking for. And
so when I'm looking at a client social media, I
want to be able to see all of the things
reflected and what she's shared with me. So what she's
passionate about, what she's interested in, things she's involved in,
where she's connected in her community, whether that's through her family,
(15:33):
her friends, all the activities that she's involved in. If
there's a lot of you know, these selfies or just
a lot of really focused individual attention that she's putting
out there, you know, that can also be perceived in
a negative way by some of the sororities. So they
want to see, you know, your friend groups. They want
to see your activities, how you're spending your time. So
(15:54):
with clients, I really work with them to understand. You know,
this is sort of like a pr campaign still recruitment,
So we want to make sure that we're really promoting
you in the best way to give you the best shot,
so these girls can get to know you and see
you for who you are rather than just this beautiful, curated,
you know, very selective types of photos.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Because again, if they meet you.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
In person, that's not going to be necessarily things that
you're probably going to be able to connect with them about.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I'm sorry I mean to interrupt, but I'm just curious.
What about the girls that don't have a lot of friends,
that weren't popular in high school and that you know,
maybe their social media is awkward, and how do you
what do you do in those occasions?
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Yeah, so you know that that comes up, and that's
something that on an individual basis, I do work with clients.
I provide them sort of like a roadmap. Okay, I
see that you don't have a ton of posts in here,
and so girls are going to look at this and
either go, huh, is this someone who is you know,
not very involved, like you said, or doesn't have a
(16:59):
huge community, and so we want to sort of help
them to see opportunities, and so we kind of go
through ways that they can moving forward, depending on when
I start working with them, how they can start putting
things out there so that girls can get to know them.
Because really, the sororities are using the social media to
sort of have some touch points, whether that's reaching out
(17:21):
to girls before recruitment starts, or even right before they
jump into a party and have a conversation with a woman.
They may go and look at her social media and see, oh,
I see she just got back from a trip with
her family, and so these will be great things that
I can talk.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
To her about.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
A lot of the soorties I'm thinking are looking at
social media and looking at what the girl looks like physically,
what boys are surrounding her. I mean, I just think
that's probably a very big part of it. So are
you ever saying to these girls, listen, you know, find
some people to take a picture with, find a cute boy.
(17:57):
I mean that, And it's just honest, like I know,
trying to help these girls get into sororities. And I'm
wondering if you do have to give advice like that.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I typically don't because again, I'm not going from the
perspective of like we need to create this fake world.
I really wanted to feel authentic and I want it
to be them. So I think if there are some
of those awkward moments in their instagram where I see
something that might again how the sororities are going to
perceive it is really where I'm providing that feedback to
(18:28):
these women to say, hey, look, this may be something
that you might just want to archive for a little
while and then you can bring it back later on.
But let's try to focus on some of these other
areas that I know you have going on and that
would be really great to highlight instead.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
On average, how much do you charge to you know,
bring these girls through this process and how long typically
are you training these girls for.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Yeah, so I can start working with a client as
early as you know, November December with August recruitment, so
it's a pretty long runway that I usually try to
work with a client. Again, I'm trying to get to
know her, I'm trying to really help coach her through
the processes. She has enough time but my program can
really depend on kind of what the client wants. But
(19:16):
upwards of you know, thousands of dollars just because there
is it's a lot of just that one on one
personalized coaching for clients that I'm providing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, so you charge also hourly like people? Is it
because you want to yell?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
I do, So I'll do an hourly option, or I
have just a set program that they can go through
that includes everything, so they can just kind of jump
in on that.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
So the set program is probably less than a year,
a little less than a year worth of training. So
how much does that full program cost?
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yeah, so it's around three thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Okay, So what happens when one of the girls that
you're working with pays you the three thousand dollars and
doesn't get in anywhere?
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Yeah, I really have not had a client that, you know,
I think there's twofolds. So there are girls that start
this process and decide WHOA this is a lot I
don't know if I can do this, I don't know
if I want to do this, and so they self
select out and that I think is something that again
everyone's journey is different, and so how they get there,
(20:23):
it may just be a little bit of a different route.
And then I have other clients that you know, are
gonna go through the process, They're going to really give
it a fear shot, and they then they end up
joining a sorority. So there isn't really a place where
I find clients get to the end and decide, ooh,
I definitely put my money back on. This isn't what
I thought it was going to be, because again I'm
(20:45):
trying to prepare them.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I mean, I'm sure some of your clients didn't get
into a sorority, right, No.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
I mean I have clients that will go through the
freshman process, so the first, you know, beginning of their semester,
they'll go through recruitment, and like I said, they decide
this needs either too much for me or I'm going
to take a break from this, and then they can
also I work with them to go through what's called
the continuous open bidding process, so that's after formal recruitment.
(21:12):
It's a more informal process, and so they end up
joining that way. I also have clients that come to
me that are not freshmen. They're upperclassmen, women who maybe
were on campus kind of observed Greek life and thought
I don't really want to be involved and then decide, hey,
I think I want to do this and end up
coming and wanting to jump in in their sophomore junior year.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Well what if they don't say they okay, they get
into a sorority, but they don't get into at least
one of the top three.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
So I think perception of what is top is really important.
And again that's part of what I'm trying to help
clients understand. You know, what your best friend thinks is
top isn't necessarily what you probably are going to.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Think is top, or you could.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
I mean it just the hints, but you really have
to focus in on who the people are and where
you feel like you belong, because if you're just focused
on what you consider top or the best or top
tier or any of that, I think you really miss
out on finding people that you can have.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
A true sisterhood with.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
I think most of my clients, you know, six months
to a year to you know, their senior year, will
tell you that the process works and they trusted the process,
and it does get you to where you do have
those genuine friendships and find your people.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
No for sure. And I think what I meant by
that is, of course, when you go through the process,
you find your people, but you also deal with the
noise of everybody else speaking during the recruitment process. It's
no secret what the top three sororities are at any
school when you're going through that recruitment process. So is
(22:50):
this the kind of avenue that you take in that
mental health like part of your course by you know,
really educating these women that it's okay to obviously like
a sorority that is not in the stereotypical top three,
And is this something that you really educate them on
because I could like feel, I could you know, I
feel what you're saying. How you know they're all going
(23:13):
to find their way and they're all going to find
their avenue and what sorority speaks to them, which is
one hundred percent true, but also dealing with the stereotypes
of going through the rushing process. You do know what
the top are, what the you know, low ring sororities are,
you do Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Give a lot of advice on like where to really
push out the noise, because I do think there are
a lot of external places where these women start to feel.
Their confidence really starts to dwindle when they have a
roommate who makes us a comment about maybe a chapter
that they still are interested in, or they have on
(23:51):
their schedule, or they're walking to their next party and
they hear two girls in front of them talking about,
you know, a house that they just came from, or
even I have like clients whose moms or aunts or
cousins or anyone in their family who maybe reach us
out to them and says, oh my gosh, I can't
believe you're still interested in XYZ. So I do really
try to help them understand that there isn't there's not
(24:14):
like this one set thing like it's okay to find
your place and where you feel like you belong because
this is your experience. This isn't your mom's experience, this
isn't your roommate's experience. And I really do coach clients
as a roommate. You probably shouldn't be discussing the you know,
the rounds and what houses you like, because you're each
individual's and you're gonna find that you probably are gonna
(24:37):
join different storties and still, you know, be great roommates
and have a great friendship, but you don't necessarily have
to do the exact same thing that someone else is doing.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, we've had another We had another coach on and
I asked her this same question. I wonder if you
face a lot of judgment about what you're doing. And
I know for me and I said this to our
last coach, so just fair. But I don't know that
I would ever hire someone My daughter went through rush
(25:07):
and I you know, I went through one hundred years
ago and my mother didn't even know what a soorty was.
But I don't think that I would hire a coach.
And I wonder if you and that's please don't misunderstand me. No,
I'm sure that you know you've helped a lot of women,
especially I love the mental health part. But do you
get a lot of flacks or blowback in terms of
what you do. Do you experience that I do?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
And I think it's just misconception of what my role is.
And so what I really help try to help people
understand is I'm not here to get someone into a
particular sorority. I would love for women to go through
the experience of recruitment and find this unique thing that
is on a college campus where you can really explore
(25:51):
who you are, you can be challenged, you can be
a part of something where you're giving back in philanthropy
and learning skill sets that you're going to use for
the rest of your life. And so I really want
people to understand that my job is just to get
more people who want to join this process and be
a part of it. And you know, I always tell
(26:13):
clients you.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
You are special.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
You're going to find your place, whether that's in a
sorority or somewhere on your campus, but you have something
to offer, and these sorority women are going to see
that if you're true to yourself and you really do,
you know, kind of dig down deep and really showcase
who you are.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
But I do think there.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Is a lot of pushback against Yeah, like I said,
I've been doing this ten years and so I have
seen the ebb and flow of being just one of
a few doing this to now you know, hundreds, if
not thousands, and I think they all have different approaches.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
But I know in my heart.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
What I'm doing is really to build these women up
in their confidence, help moms know how to support their
daughters at in this transition. And I just want them
to get the skills and life lessons that can help
them carry on, you know, from college and beyond. I
think as a woman in a sorority, you can just
gain so much from it.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
And I just yeah, like I said, I just want.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
More people to be a part of it and see
it in It's true, like it's unfortunate that there are
so many things that kind of downplay the sorority experience.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
You know, they focus on some of the things that
I think.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Take away from really what sororities are doing on campuses.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
You know, I think that's definitely admirable, but we've also
heard some horror stories about and about the girls that
have been rejected and what happens and what that looks like.
And it's I think that it is what you're describing
is very admirable to sort of help women express their
true self and to not just look for status when
(27:49):
they're you know, rushing. But I don't know, it feels
like when I hear sorority coach, I hear someone who
is coming in to help my get into the sorority
that she wants by please forgive me. And I'm not
saying that this is what you do it's just as
a mother, this is what I would what occurs to
(28:09):
me by transforming herself into what other young girls want.
And I think that's why I the image of this, yeah,
and and or the image of the sorority. And I'm
very open to being wrong about that. And you seem
also like a lovely woman who really cares about the
(28:30):
girls that you work with. But it all seems like
a little crazy to me. I have to be honest
with you.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Yeah, well, sure, I think there are a lot of
things that girls do to prepare for sorority recruitment that
does seem very crazy. You wouldn't do that, you know,
in other circumstances. But I also think that you know
this process and the way I mean, unfortunately, this is
the way that sororities recruit new members, and so I
(29:00):
think if there was a different process created that they
could join in a different format, then that may be
where we see.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Some of this change.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
But in the end, I think some girls do go
through and it is unfortunate because I see it too.
I see it on social media, and I see it
in other places. I have moms call me who tell
me about, you know, people they know who are experiencing
certain things, and it is. But I think if you
can really step into understanding that you know, rejection is
(29:31):
part of life. I think sometimes that's also the lesson
here too, is that you know how you come back
from some of that is important. And if, like I said,
you can come into it with the right attitude and
the right understanding and the right expectations, you know, this
can be a really fun and successful process. But if
you come in very narrow minded and this is all
(29:53):
I want and this is what they expect from me,
and this is how I need to look, then yeah,
it's going.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
To be a lot of work. You're going to be disappointed.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
So what would you say that the biggest myth is
to sorority rush.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
I think the biggest myth is that you have to,
like you said at the beginning, transform yourself into something
different than who you truly are. I think if you
are a natural beauty and you are confident in who
you are and you know what you're looking for in
terms of joining something like this, then you are going
(30:42):
to find you know, you're going to find your people,
and you're gonna find your place, and it's going to
be a really fun experience.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
I think when you come in and you're.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Really second guessing yourself and you're really doubting yourself, I
think that's where I see a lot of these girls
start to put their worth and who they want to
be so much in this these letters, as opposed to
you know, really trusting themselves and stepping out and trying
(31:10):
to just make a friend, because that's really what you know,
at the end of the day, that's what they're that's
what they're trying to do, is find their friends before
school starts.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, one hundred percent. What would you say the biggest
mistake that P and MS make.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, I think the biggest mistake is probably focusing too
much on and I know we talked a little bit
about this, but focusing too much on the things that
aren't going to really make a huge impact for them.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
So things like I think attire and outfits are.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Important, but if you are, you know, just focused on
that and really worried about that, and you're not practicing
the social skills of how to have a good conversation
and how to connect with someone and how to make
someone feel like they really have gotten to know you.
In you know, a five ten fig two minute conversation,
you're going to miss out on being able to really
(32:04):
put yourself out there and find your place. I think
the other thing that girls spend a lot of time
on and effort is the recommendation process. So that has
changed over the years, and I think it's a great
way to make an introduction.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
To a sorority about yourself.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
And to having a lum introduce you to that organization.
But it is not the end all be all, and
I find a lot of clients stress and have a
lot of effort that they put towards it, and so
just helping them to understand that there are a lot
of other things. If you can connect with girls before recruitment,
if you can have a great conversation and you can
(32:40):
really be yourself, then you know you'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I've definitely heard that that that letter of recommendation is
outdated a bit. Yeah, yeah, listen, Leslie, what a pleasure.
Thank you for coming on. Thank you so much, Thank
you for talking us through this. We wish you continued success. Again.
I have lots of ideas about this, as I'm sure
Gia does, and it's new to me and so not
(33:05):
meaning to be pessimistic, but we're trying to ask you
the hard questions and to really understand what this is
about and to be you know, honest with you and
have an open dialogue. And thank you so much for
talking to us.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah, you really do sound like you care about you know,
the recruits genuine feelings and personality and what they want.
And I feel like that's something that you know. Obviously
you have stuck with it for three years, ten years,
and you pretty much feel like you have. It's in
our little cards here where you have one hundred percent
(33:39):
success rate. So good for you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I know it's it is. It's a wonderful experience. Like
I said, if you can find you know, that that
place where girls can feel like they belong and they
find their home.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
But I know it is.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
It's a lot.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
So I appreciate the time and the question.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Where can our listeners find you? By the way, Oh
yeah absolutely.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
I'm on social media so Instagram, sorority prep, one on one,
I'm on TikTok sorority prep, and i have a website
sororityprep dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Perfect amazing.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Thank you so much, Thank you, Leslie.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
I have a great dead love to all your girls.
Bye bye, I don't know. I don't know either.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
I mean, I now, I don't want to say like
I felt like she was a little full of it,
but I just one hundred one hundred percent successory.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I mean what does that mean? Does that mean that
you say to your clients you're definitely going to get
into a sorority and then that's success because they got
into one, maybe that they didn't necessarily plan on getting
it into or how do you measure success? I don't know,
it's it does seem like a lot, right, I know.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
I just didn't feel like it was very just sugarcoating.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, like I want to know, like like she wasn't
deep yeah, like like stop the bs, Like do you
tell them what to wear?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Like I tell them how much to make up to where?
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Like is it is it you really picture and tierras?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Right? Yeah, yeah I do to.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I just I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
But listen, here's the truth, Like we're not we haven't
gone through the process, and we're going to try not
to judge even though we're judging. We're judging, yes, but
we'll say that we're trying not to. I know, I mean, yeah,
she's making a good loving Yeah, I mean, listen, I
don't prefer that three thousand dollars, and she says, she gets,
(35:28):
I mean maybe more. I thought we read it could
be even more.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Well, she said three thousand. If she does, if they
do the whole package, okay, then it's two fifty to
three hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
An hour hour.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
So if you're doing that, you're paying over three grand.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
So let's think about that. What is two fifty to
three hundred dollars an hour? Ten grand? Ten grand?
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And what did you pay for.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Your college tutor?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Five thousand?
Speaker 2 (35:54):
That's what we paid for, right, So now you're paying.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
But she helped me with everything.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
I know. I admired one, believe me.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
And they were very very helpful. Right, But that's also
like us going into college, into college, that's our career.
I don't know this sorority life is not like that
and all be all.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And we're here to talk about like the good too
of story life and how much fun it was and
ours much you know, what it created in terms of
life lessons and all of that.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
But and I love all of that, but you experienced
that once you're in it.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah, nobody told me.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
What to a dress or how to look like just
the stakes.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Are so high. If you're spending that kind of money
as a kid, I would think you would feel pressure. Yes,
like all of this money and it's so important that
I would spend thousands of dollars on it. I'm not
saying it's not important to young women, but I don't know.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I just feel going into it with and Yes, she
was saying rejections are part of life, yes one. And
I think that is a big lesson to learn throughout
life that you are going to get rejected. Sometimes that's
not only going to be from a sorority. It could
be from a guy.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
A woman is teaching how not to get rejected, right,
And I mean, I know they do that, their college
counselors to do that. It feels different to me. It
feels like, here's how you make people like you or
this sorority. I don't know, I don't know. We could be.
I feel badly saying it because she was a lovely woman.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
She was she was. I just I think that there's
a way you experience the good once you're in the sorority. Yeah,
And I feel like getting into the sorority being your
authentic self and not really changing much about you. Sure, yes,
wash your hair that day.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Blow it out, wash your hair most yah.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, yeah, yes.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Well fair about every three but whatever.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, but like wash your hair, ye, put yourself together
a little bit. Sure. Are you going to maybe go
to the mall and buy an outfit that you probably
wouldn't wear in a royal day? Yes, because you're excited
put on a cute dress. Wear's something that you feel
good in. You know, maybe put on some heels, but
you don't need to spend.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Three thousands of dollars. And also, I wonder, like learning
how to talk to people is not an interview, right,
You're not trying to get a job, So I don't
know how do you teach that? I guess. I guess
there's social skills or a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
I mean, yes, A big part of the recruitment process
is talking to girls and really having that speed dating
mentality and having them get to know you in that
ten to fifteen minute period. But okay, you'll if you
find that connection, you'll connect with the girl in two minutes.
If you don't find the.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Connection, you move on.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah, there were girls that when I was going through
that recruitment process that I was like, okay, yeah, I'm
over this.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Yeah, I don't want it to be to keep having
this conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
It's getting boring and it does get repetitive because you're
having the same conversation with a million different sorority houses.
But when you feel that connection, those people that you
vibe with, those are the people and that and the
sororities that you want to move forward.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
And I'm sure she does coach that. I'm sure that
she also says, you know, I would say, if I'm
you know, trying to help my daughter to be more
of a conversationalist, I don't like I would definitely say,
you know, ask questions or I don't know, positives are
better than negatives. I don't know, but this seems excessive
to me, right, yeah, a little bit. I'm sorry, Leslie. Again,
(39:25):
we could be wrong, Yeah, we could, right, I just
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I feel like, you can you girls can authentically do
this on your own. Yeah, it doesn't need to be
like all this superficial stuff. I think.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
And by the way, it's okay if you don't get
into a sorority.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
It's really okay. You'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
It's gonna be. Okay, Yeah, it's gonna be. I can
promise you life will throw you a lot of curveballs.
This one may feel in the moment like it's a
huge one. I could almost guarantee you're gonna graduate college
and you're going to look back at it and you're
going to maybe even laugh a little about it. But
(40:08):
good luck, I mean good luck all of our listeners.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Seriously, but really, and this is also an expense that
most people are not going to.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Just spend on the jail. So there's expense the sorority itself,
paying the sorority dues. And now you're paying.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Your college tuition, then your books, you know, everything needed.
You're going to spend at least five hundred dollars on
textbooks during your first semester going into college. So it's
your tuition, your textbooks, your sorority fee is and then
this on top of.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Stepend it feels like it's unlesssary, like something I feel
wealthy families do. I wouldn't think that. Yeah, I don't know,
but all right, so my friend, yes, so my sorority sister,
I guess my sister is a five? And what was
your whatever? But great, interview. Yes, right, and really interesting.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Really interesting. I mean listen, if it is something that
you have access to and it's something that you want
to do, by all means, go for it. But I
also feel like you guys can really achieve.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Maybe figure it out on your own.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
So this is dirty rush and that is it for today.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
I am Jen and I'm Gia. See you next time. Right, guys,
listen to us. Next time listen see whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Bye you next time. Bye,
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia Judce.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
I'm Gia jud Dice, I'm Jen Kessler, and.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
We have another exciting guest.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
You certainly do we have another sorority coach?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Oh, Leslie? Leslie? Am I gonna like you?
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Or am I gonna hate you? I think that is
actually a very fair question, Miss Gia. I think this
is this is a new concept, right at least for us.
Maybe not at the University of Alabama maybe, but for us,
this is new. You had a college advisor, Yes, I
paid for a college advisor. I don't know that I
would ever pay for a sorority coach. I don't know
(00:47):
if you would ever employ one.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
No, definitely not.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
So we're going to be open, Yeah, right, I want to.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Ask her what schools she predominantly works for?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah, yeah, she wouldn't work for the school. But which
who needs her the most?
Speaker 1 (01:01):
Yeah? Which campus? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Her name is Leslie Cunningham.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
She's from Texas.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
She's from Texas. On that surprise, that is, I went
to school in Texas. That is the land of Greek life.
Let's bring her, let's bring her in. Hello, Hi, Leslie, Hi, Hi,
thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Sure, all right, So I guess we're gonna kind of
get into it. So this is dirty rush. We are
talking about all the ins and ounce of sorority life.
And I think a sorority coach is something that is
new to my knowledge. I went to Rutgers University, I
rushed in greek life, I was in Zada, but I
(01:43):
have never heard of a sorority coach before.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Yeah, I am. I've actually now done an interview with
or done the pod with another sorority coach. She didn't
want to be called a coach. She wanted to be
called a consultant. I don't get it. I don't know
what the difference is. You go by coach or consultant
or you know what, they're interchange They're interchangeable, okay, And
(02:08):
I just want to like even the playing field. We're
a little skeptical but also open, and we have heard
some really nice things about you and your approach, and
so you know, please tell us what you do, how
you do it, how it all works.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah, and there is I think a lot of skepticism
about this role and kind of what coaches do. But yeah,
I started my business already prep in twenty fifteen out
of the need from moms and girls who are going
to be going through the recruitment process and just wanted
help on how to navigate it. And so that's really
(02:49):
what I do, is I just kind of step in
to where the girls are in their nerves and questions
and curiosity and just help them to understand everything that
it's going to entail when they decide to, you know,
embark on this journey. There's a lot of moving parts
these days with sorority recruitment, so really my job is
(03:10):
just to kind of help them understand what to expect
and how to be themselves and showcase that in a
way that will help them to put their best foot
forward and confidently stand out amongst the masses. Because nowadays
there are hundreds, if not thousands of women who want
to be a part of Greek life, which is wonderful,
but it can also be a little intimidating for maybe
(03:32):
someone who has never tried something like this before.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So what schools or yeah, I guess schools not so
what schools predominantly like ask you to coach them.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
Yeah, so that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
I am typically am working with a lot of women
who are going through recruitment in the South. Obviously the
process is a little bit you know, more challenging in
terms of the ins and outs of what these girls
are expected to kind of have prepared and there's you know,
the P and M videos, and there's the outfits and
(04:12):
getting prepared for the parties themselves. But I do I
am now having more and more women from the Northeast.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Like I have a client this year.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
She's going to Columbia, and her mom, you know, just
really wants to make sure she understands what she's stepping into.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
She has a lot of more plate with school.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
And academics, and so it just makes sense to find
a landing spot for these girls in a social setting too.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Yeah, that makes sense. Leslie. Our producer told us that
you actually focus on mental health, which I was I
was thrilled to hear because I think that's probably so necessary.
Do you have some education? Are you a mental health
provider in your other life?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So I actually, in doing this for ten years, I
really start to I really started to kind of feel
the pressure from both moms and daughters to have more
of a more resourceful place for them to come when
they were facing some of these difficult challenges.
Speaker 4 (05:14):
And so this.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Last year I partnered with three mental health specialists, their counselors.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
This is what they do.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
They work in the Collegiate Women's Space, and we have
created a program. They are working with my clients separately
along with moms to help them sort of navigate how
to support their daughters, but then for the women to
give them the tools and resources they need to really
be able to handle a lot of the challenges. You know,
recruitment has some rejection built into it, and so unfortunately
(05:46):
sometimes this can be the first time for some of
these women to have rejection in their life, and so
we are really just there to help them understand.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
This is normal.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
You're going to have some of these feelings. You're going
to have some of this anxiety, these hesitations. It's part
of going off to college in a new place and
being far away from home and outside your comfort zone.
And so here are some ways that you can, you know,
prepare yourself and help you to kind of move through
the process in the most healthy way.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, it's a little daunting to think that that women,
young women need mental health help just to go through
this process. Right, Like, and I was in a sorority,
and obviously Gia was as well, and we've had a
lot of wonderful experiences, both of us, and I'm sure
you have as well. But there is something about this
process that just seems to me, and more today than
(06:38):
back in the day, because they're social media, but just
inherently anxiety provoking. And as a coach, I'm glad to
hear that you're you know, you're actually dealing with that
and addressing it. I'm curious in terms of, like what
you do outside of that so and how much of
(06:59):
it is superficial, like take this off your social media,
wear this, this with your hair this. I've even heard
that coaches sometimes recommend certain tanning approaches self tanner to
I don't know, tell us.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Yeah, no, I was going to ask you along the
same lines, like, so, going into sorority rush, say a
girl approaches you and she is really set on getting
into this one sorority and it's top tier, it's super
difficult to get into. But maybe she doesn't have their
(07:38):
quote unquote criteria or stereotypical view that they usually accept
into their sorority. Do you feel comfortable physically changing like
their entire image and personality or do you recommend to them, Okay,
maybe this isn't the right option for you, to like
better their mental health rather than completely changing their person
(08:00):
at eighteen years old.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
Yeah, I think that's a great question, and something I
think both girls and moms really struggle with is having
a mindset that they want a certain thing. I approach
that a little different. When I start working with a client,
I really want to understand who she is first, because
I think these girls need to have the self confidence
(08:24):
in who they are. Because you can wear all the
designer outfits you want, you can have your hair done
in a certain way, you can go and get the
tan that you want, but that is a lot to
keep up with once you join authority, and you're not
joining for the people, you're joining just for the letters.
And so really my approach when I'm working with a
client is to understand, we want you to find your people.
(08:46):
Who you are and how you are is not going
to change immediately once you get to college. So you
need to understand what are the things that are important
to you. What are some of these things in terms
of friendships and that sense of belonging that you're really
looking for. So that when you go and you're meeting
with these different sorority women or you're having these conversations,
(09:06):
you should be able to sort of navigate and find
your people. It should be a natural part of the process.
And that's how it's built in these days as far as.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
Recruitment is concerned.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
And so if a woman is very set on one thing,
I do explain to them there are going to be limitations.
Not every sobrity has a spot for every single girl,
and so this may not go the exact way that
you want it to go, but you need to be
open to the options you have. There is no bad
sorority on any campus. It's really your perception. And if
(09:39):
you are going into it to try to find the
right people and to make those friendships in those connections
you're going to you're going to land where you should land.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
Yeah, Leslie, I'm going to have to like actually hone
in on this because I can't imagine that you don't
also coach on where this hair like this. I'm sure
that's part of it, right.
Speaker 4 (10:00):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
There is a component of I think too, you want
to present your best self. Just like today, I didn't
want to jump on here. You know, I'm at a
beach resort. I'm not going to jump on here in
my baby too cover and you know, just hope that
I look great. I'm going to take the time to
make a good first impression. It's important to me. And
so these women also need to have the self confidence.
(10:23):
I'm really hoping that, like by going through the recruitment process,
these women are well prepared to then go and try
out for an organization on campus, if that's a student
leadership position, or maybe they're going to go out and
try to find an internship that's very competitive. They want
to be able to have that skill set and then
go and launch into finding a job. And so if
(10:44):
they can't understand how to prepare for those types of
things in a competitive environment, you know, life is it
shoots a lot of things at us, and so we
have to be prepared in all of these different facets
and having your confidence, whether that's in your appearance and
just being able to kind of present yourself. You know,
these girls are very savvy and they understand that that
(11:07):
is part of it. Social media is part of it,
and your your first impression does make a big depth.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So what do you tell them in terms of do
you have specifics in terms of tanning, in terms of makeup,
are you saying to them, not a spray tan, make
sure your arms are Do you do all of that?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:24):
I mean I talk them through. You know what is
their typical? Like what makes you feel good about yourself?
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Is that having a tan?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
You know, I have some clients that don't want good
with a spray tan, and so I'm not going to
encourage them to go and do that, but I do
think taking the time. Like I had a client this
last year. She is not someone who wears a lot
of makeup, and I told her, I'm like, just go
and get a little makeover and just see how you
feel after you have that experience, because sometimes I think
it is about the newness of trying something and you know,
(11:54):
if it.
Speaker 4 (11:55):
Helps you to slap on a little lip gloss and
feel good, then that's what we want.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
We don't want you walking because there is going to
be that comparison when they're standing in line waiting to
walk into that sorority and they're looking around and they're
seeing all these girls who are putting forth a lot
of effort. You don't want to feel like you showed
up and didn't know that you were supposed to do that.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Definitely effort. But I also feel while you're rushing and
going through this sorority process that you're also fully entitled
and allowed to show your natural beauty. So I feel
like spray tands and making yourself almost nearly orange or
you know, getting a full face of makeup for sorority
(12:37):
rush does seem a bit excessive. I fully believe that
you can put your makeup on and you know, learn
how to do your makeup naturally, but I just feel
like I'm getting visions of toddlers and tierras right now,
and I just feel like this is a bit excessive
for sorority rush. And I guess maybe, uh, this is
(13:01):
a cliche of me to say, because I didn't you know,
obviously rush in the South. But I also feel like
showing your natural beauty and having that also shine through
is something that's really important. And it's like, is that
something that you instill as well?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
And too?
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Yeah, I think I think each individual woman has, you know,
how she views herself and and part of what I
think is difficult when you're preparing for sorority recruitment is
understanding that who you are and you know what you
look like and how you present yourself. And I really
try to coach clients through not just the outer beauty,
but also what you're saying and how you say. It
(13:44):
matters too, because these young collegiate women who are making
the decisions about who to invite into their membership, they're
really paying attention to these conversations and what you're saying.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
And so if you're going in there, and like you mentioned.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
Before, if you have this attitude of like, this is
where I want to be and I'm not going to
have a gracious, open attitude to everyone else, you know
that could that can really hinder your experience. And I
think to take away from like you were saying, that
outer beauty that we want these girls to emulate is
you know, who they really are should be able to
(14:18):
shine through, whether that's in those conversations or on their
social media.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
I think that that should be reflected in both places.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
It shouldn't feel like there is a real disconnect between
who they are on social media and who they're presenting
themselves to be in the recruitment.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Also giving them tips on you know, etiquacy and mannerisms.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
Yes, what about the social media of it all? So
do you scrub their social media? And what are you
looking for? I don't want to. This is not a
(15:01):
paid session, so I don't want to take I don't
want to just steal all your tips. But I'm interested
in what do you look for and what do you
tell them to get rid of?
Speaker 4 (15:10):
Yeah, that's a great question.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
So I really come to it from a perspective of
what I know the sorority women are looking for. And
so when I'm looking at a client social media, I
want to be able to see all of the things
reflected and what she's shared with me. So what she's
passionate about, what she's interested in, things she's involved in,
where she's connected in her community, whether that's through her family,
(15:33):
her friends, all the activities that she's involved in. If
there's a lot of you know, these selfies or just
a lot of really focused individual attention that she's putting
out there, you know, that can also be perceived in
a negative way by some of the sororities. So they
want to see, you know, your friend groups. They want
to see your activities, how you're spending your time. So
(15:54):
with clients, I really work with them to understand. You know,
this is sort of like a pr campaign still recruitment,
So we want to make sure that we're really promoting
you in the best way to give you the best shot,
so these girls can get to know you and see
you for who you are rather than just this beautiful, curated,
you know, very selective types of photos.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
Because again, if they meet you.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
In person, that's not going to be necessarily things that
you're probably going to be able to connect with them about.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
I'm sorry I mean to interrupt, but I'm just curious.
What about the girls that don't have a lot of friends,
that weren't popular in high school and that you know,
maybe their social media is awkward, and how do you
what do you do in those occasions?
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Yeah, so you know that that comes up, and that's
something that on an individual basis, I do work with clients.
I provide them sort of like a roadmap. Okay, I
see that you don't have a ton of posts in here,
and so girls are going to look at this and
either go, huh, is this someone who is you know,
not very involved, like you said, or doesn't have a
(16:59):
huge community, and so we want to sort of help
them to see opportunities, and so we kind of go
through ways that they can moving forward, depending on when
I start working with them, how they can start putting
things out there so that girls can get to know them.
Because really, the sororities are using the social media to
sort of have some touch points, whether that's reaching out
(17:21):
to girls before recruitment starts, or even right before they
jump into a party and have a conversation with a woman.
They may go and look at her social media and see, oh,
I see she just got back from a trip with
her family, and so these will be great things that
I can talk.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
To her about.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
A lot of the soorties I'm thinking are looking at
social media and looking at what the girl looks like physically,
what boys are surrounding her. I mean, I just think
that's probably a very big part of it. So are
you ever saying to these girls, listen, you know, find
some people to take a picture with, find a cute boy.
(17:57):
I mean that, And it's just honest, like I know,
trying to help these girls get into sororities. And I'm
wondering if you do have to give advice like that.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
I typically don't because again, I'm not going from the
perspective of like we need to create this fake world.
I really wanted to feel authentic and I want it
to be them. So I think if there are some
of those awkward moments in their instagram where I see
something that might again how the sororities are going to
perceive it is really where I'm providing that feedback to
(18:28):
these women to say, hey, look, this may be something
that you might just want to archive for a little
while and then you can bring it back later on.
But let's try to focus on some of these other
areas that I know you have going on and that
would be really great to highlight instead.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
On average, how much do you charge to you know,
bring these girls through this process and how long typically
are you training these girls for.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Yeah, so I can start working with a client as
early as you know, November December with August recruitment, so
it's a pretty long runway that I usually try to
work with a client. Again, I'm trying to get to
know her, I'm trying to really help coach her through
the processes. She has enough time but my program can
really depend on kind of what the client wants. But
(19:16):
upwards of you know, thousands of dollars just because there
is it's a lot of just that one on one
personalized coaching for clients that I'm providing.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Yeah, so you charge also hourly like people? Is it
because you want to yell?
Speaker 3 (19:32):
I do, So I'll do an hourly option, or I
have just a set program that they can go through
that includes everything, so they can just kind of jump
in on that.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
So the set program is probably less than a year,
a little less than a year worth of training. So
how much does that full program cost?
Speaker 4 (19:51):
Yeah, so it's around three thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Okay, So what happens when one of the girls that
you're working with pays you the three thousand dollars and
doesn't get in anywhere?
Speaker 3 (20:02):
Yeah, I really have not had a client that, you know,
I think there's twofolds. So there are girls that start
this process and decide WHOA this is a lot I
don't know if I can do this, I don't know
if I want to do this, and so they self
select out and that I think is something that again
everyone's journey is different, and so how they get there,
(20:23):
it may just be a little bit of a different route.
And then I have other clients that you know, are
gonna go through the process, They're going to really give
it a fear shot, and they then they end up
joining a sorority. So there isn't really a place where
I find clients get to the end and decide, ooh,
I definitely put my money back on. This isn't what
I thought it was going to be, because again I'm
(20:45):
trying to prepare them.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I mean, I'm sure some of your clients didn't get
into a sorority, right, No.
Speaker 3 (20:51):
I mean I have clients that will go through the
freshman process, so the first, you know, beginning of their semester,
they'll go through recruitment, and like I said, they decide
this needs either too much for me or I'm going
to take a break from this, and then they can
also I work with them to go through what's called
the continuous open bidding process, so that's after formal recruitment.
(21:12):
It's a more informal process, and so they end up
joining that way. I also have clients that come to
me that are not freshmen. They're upperclassmen, women who maybe
were on campus kind of observed Greek life and thought
I don't really want to be involved and then decide, hey,
I think I want to do this and end up
coming and wanting to jump in in their sophomore junior year.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Well what if they don't say they okay, they get
into a sorority, but they don't get into at least
one of the top three.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
So I think perception of what is top is really important.
And again that's part of what I'm trying to help
clients understand. You know, what your best friend thinks is
top isn't necessarily what you probably are going to.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Think is top, or you could.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
I mean it just the hints, but you really have
to focus in on who the people are and where
you feel like you belong, because if you're just focused
on what you consider top or the best or top
tier or any of that, I think you really miss
out on finding people that you can have.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
A true sisterhood with.
Speaker 3 (22:15):
I think most of my clients, you know, six months
to a year to you know, their senior year, will
tell you that the process works and they trusted the process,
and it does get you to where you do have
those genuine friendships and find your people.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
No for sure. And I think what I meant by
that is, of course, when you go through the process,
you find your people, but you also deal with the
noise of everybody else speaking during the recruitment process. It's
no secret what the top three sororities are at any
school when you're going through that recruitment process. So is
(22:50):
this the kind of avenue that you take in that
mental health like part of your course by you know,
really educating these women that it's okay to obviously like
a sorority that is not in the stereotypical top three,
And is this something that you really educate them on
because I could like feel, I could you know, I
feel what you're saying. How you know they're all going
(23:13):
to find their way and they're all going to find
their avenue and what sorority speaks to them, which is
one hundred percent true, but also dealing with the stereotypes
of going through the rushing process. You do know what
the top are, what the you know, low ring sororities are,
you do Yeah, I.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
Give a lot of advice on like where to really
push out the noise, because I do think there are
a lot of external places where these women start to feel.
Their confidence really starts to dwindle when they have a
roommate who makes us a comment about maybe a chapter
that they still are interested in, or they have on
(23:51):
their schedule, or they're walking to their next party and
they hear two girls in front of them talking about,
you know, a house that they just came from, or
even I have like clients whose moms or aunts or
cousins or anyone in their family who maybe reach us
out to them and says, oh my gosh, I can't
believe you're still interested in XYZ. So I do really
try to help them understand that there isn't there's not
(24:14):
like this one set thing like it's okay to find
your place and where you feel like you belong because
this is your experience. This isn't your mom's experience, this
isn't your roommate's experience. And I really do coach clients
as a roommate. You probably shouldn't be discussing the you know,
the rounds and what houses you like, because you're each
individual's and you're gonna find that you probably are gonna
(24:37):
join different storties and still, you know, be great roommates
and have a great friendship, but you don't necessarily have
to do the exact same thing that someone else is doing.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, we've had another We had another coach on and
I asked her this same question. I wonder if you
face a lot of judgment about what you're doing. And
I know for me and I said this to our
last coach, so just fair. But I don't know that
I would ever hire someone My daughter went through rush
(25:07):
and I you know, I went through one hundred years
ago and my mother didn't even know what a soorty was.
But I don't think that I would hire a coach.
And I wonder if you and that's please don't misunderstand me. No,
I'm sure that you know you've helped a lot of women,
especially I love the mental health part. But do you
get a lot of flacks or blowback in terms of
what you do. Do you experience that I do?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
And I think it's just misconception of what my role is.
And so what I really help try to help people
understand is I'm not here to get someone into a
particular sorority. I would love for women to go through
the experience of recruitment and find this unique thing that
is on a college campus where you can really explore
(25:51):
who you are, you can be challenged, you can be
a part of something where you're giving back in philanthropy
and learning skill sets that you're going to use for
the rest of your life. And so I really want
people to understand that my job is just to get
more people who want to join this process and be
a part of it. And you know, I always tell
(26:13):
clients you.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
You are special.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
You're going to find your place, whether that's in a
sorority or somewhere on your campus, but you have something
to offer, and these sorority women are going to see
that if you're true to yourself and you really do,
you know, kind of dig down deep and really showcase
who you are.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
But I do think there.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Is a lot of pushback against Yeah, like I said,
I've been doing this ten years and so I have
seen the ebb and flow of being just one of
a few doing this to now you know, hundreds, if
not thousands, and I think they all have different approaches.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
But I know in my heart.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
What I'm doing is really to build these women up
in their confidence, help moms know how to support their
daughters at in this transition. And I just want them
to get the skills and life lessons that can help
them carry on, you know, from college and beyond. I
think as a woman in a sorority, you can just
gain so much from it.
Speaker 4 (27:09):
And I just yeah, like I said, I just want.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
More people to be a part of it and see
it in It's true, like it's unfortunate that there are
so many things that kind of downplay the sorority experience.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
You know, they focus on some of the things that
I think.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Take away from really what sororities are doing on campuses.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
You know, I think that's definitely admirable, but we've also
heard some horror stories about and about the girls that
have been rejected and what happens and what that looks like.
And it's I think that it is what you're describing
is very admirable to sort of help women express their
true self and to not just look for status when
(27:49):
they're you know, rushing. But I don't know, it feels
like when I hear sorority coach, I hear someone who
is coming in to help my get into the sorority
that she wants by please forgive me. And I'm not
saying that this is what you do it's just as
a mother, this is what I would what occurs to
(28:09):
me by transforming herself into what other young girls want.
And I think that's why I the image of this, yeah,
and and or the image of the sorority. And I'm
very open to being wrong about that. And you seem
also like a lovely woman who really cares about the
(28:30):
girls that you work with. But it all seems like
a little crazy to me. I have to be honest
with you.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Yeah, well, sure, I think there are a lot of
things that girls do to prepare for sorority recruitment that
does seem very crazy. You wouldn't do that, you know,
in other circumstances. But I also think that you know
this process and the way I mean, unfortunately, this is
the way that sororities recruit new members, and so I
(29:00):
think if there was a different process created that they
could join in a different format, then that may be
where we see.
Speaker 4 (29:07):
Some of this change.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
But in the end, I think some girls do go
through and it is unfortunate because I see it too.
I see it on social media, and I see it
in other places. I have moms call me who tell
me about, you know, people they know who are experiencing
certain things, and it is. But I think if you
can really step into understanding that you know, rejection is
(29:31):
part of life. I think sometimes that's also the lesson
here too, is that you know how you come back
from some of that is important. And if, like I said,
you can come into it with the right attitude and
the right understanding and the right expectations, you know, this
can be a really fun and successful process. But if
you come in very narrow minded and this is all
(29:53):
I want and this is what they expect from me,
and this is how I need to look, then yeah,
it's going.
Speaker 4 (29:59):
To be a lot of work. You're going to be disappointed.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
So what would you say that the biggest myth is
to sorority rush.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
I think the biggest myth is that you have to,
like you said at the beginning, transform yourself into something
different than who you truly are. I think if you
are a natural beauty and you are confident in who
you are and you know what you're looking for in
terms of joining something like this, then you are going
(30:42):
to find you know, you're going to find your people,
and you're gonna find your place, and it's going to
be a really fun experience.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
I think when you come in and you're.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Really second guessing yourself and you're really doubting yourself, I
think that's where I see a lot of these girls
start to put their worth and who they want to
be so much in this these letters, as opposed to
you know, really trusting themselves and stepping out and trying
(31:10):
to just make a friend, because that's really what you know,
at the end of the day, that's what they're that's
what they're trying to do, is find their friends before
school starts.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, one hundred percent. What would you say the biggest
mistake that P and MS make.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
Yeah, I think the biggest mistake is probably focusing too
much on and I know we talked a little bit
about this, but focusing too much on the things that
aren't going to really make a huge impact for them.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
So things like I think attire and outfits are.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Important, but if you are, you know, just focused on
that and really worried about that, and you're not practicing
the social skills of how to have a good conversation
and how to connect with someone and how to make
someone feel like they really have gotten to know you.
In you know, a five ten fig two minute conversation,
you're going to miss out on being able to really
(32:04):
put yourself out there and find your place. I think
the other thing that girls spend a lot of time
on and effort is the recommendation process. So that has
changed over the years, and I think it's a great
way to make an introduction.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
To a sorority about yourself.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
And to having a lum introduce you to that organization.
But it is not the end all be all, and
I find a lot of clients stress and have a
lot of effort that they put towards it, and so
just helping them to understand that there are a lot
of other things. If you can connect with girls before recruitment,
if you can have a great conversation and you can
(32:40):
really be yourself, then you know you'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I've definitely heard that that that letter of recommendation is
outdated a bit. Yeah, yeah, listen, Leslie, what a pleasure.
Thank you for coming on. Thank you so much, Thank
you for talking us through this. We wish you continued success. Again.
I have lots of ideas about this, as I'm sure
Gia does, and it's new to me and so not
(33:05):
meaning to be pessimistic, but we're trying to ask you
the hard questions and to really understand what this is
about and to be you know, honest with you and
have an open dialogue. And thank you so much for
talking to us.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Yeah, you really do sound like you care about you know,
the recruits genuine feelings and personality and what they want.
And I feel like that's something that you know. Obviously
you have stuck with it for three years, ten years,
and you pretty much feel like you have. It's in
our little cards here where you have one hundred percent
(33:39):
success rate. So good for you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I know it's it is. It's a wonderful experience. Like
I said, if you can find you know, that that
place where girls can feel like they belong and they
find their home.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
But I know it is.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
It's a lot.
Speaker 4 (33:55):
So I appreciate the time and the question.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Where can our listeners find you? By the way, Oh
yeah absolutely.
Speaker 3 (34:01):
I'm on social media so Instagram, sorority prep, one on one,
I'm on TikTok sorority prep, and i have a website
sororityprep dot com.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Perfect amazing.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Thank you so much, Thank you, Leslie.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
I have a great dead love to all your girls.
Bye bye, I don't know. I don't know either.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
I mean, I now, I don't want to say like
I felt like she was a little full of it,
but I just one hundred one hundred percent successory.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
I mean what does that mean? Does that mean that
you say to your clients you're definitely going to get
into a sorority and then that's success because they got
into one, maybe that they didn't necessarily plan on getting
it into or how do you measure success? I don't know,
it's it does seem like a lot, right, I know.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
I just didn't feel like it was very just sugarcoating.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, like I want to know, like like she wasn't
deep yeah, like like stop the bs, Like do you
tell them what to wear?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Like I tell them how much to make up to where?
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Like is it is it you really picture and tierras?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Right? Yeah, yeah I do to.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I just I don't get it.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
But listen, here's the truth, Like we're not we haven't
gone through the process, and we're going to try not
to judge even though we're judging. We're judging, yes, but
we'll say that we're trying not to. I know, I mean, yeah,
she's making a good loving Yeah, I mean, listen, I
don't prefer that three thousand dollars, and she says, she gets,
(35:28):
I mean maybe more. I thought we read it could
be even more.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Well, she said three thousand. If she does, if they
do the whole package, okay, then it's two fifty to
three hundred dollars.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
An hour hour.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
So if you're doing that, you're paying over three grand.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
So let's think about that. What is two fifty to
three hundred dollars an hour? Ten grand? Ten grand?
Speaker 1 (35:51):
And what did you pay for.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
Your college tutor?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Five thousand?
Speaker 2 (35:54):
That's what we paid for, right, So now you're paying.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
But she helped me with everything.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
I know. I admired one, believe me.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
And they were very very helpful. Right, But that's also
like us going into college, into college, that's our career.
I don't know this sorority life is not like that
and all be all.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And we're here to talk about like the good too
of story life and how much fun it was and
ours much you know, what it created in terms of
life lessons and all of that.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
But and I love all of that, but you experienced
that once you're in it.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Yeah, nobody told me.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
What to a dress or how to look like just
the stakes.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Are so high. If you're spending that kind of money
as a kid, I would think you would feel pressure. Yes,
like all of this money and it's so important that
I would spend thousands of dollars on it. I'm not
saying it's not important to young women, but I don't know.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I just feel going into it with and Yes, she
was saying rejections are part of life, yes one. And
I think that is a big lesson to learn throughout
life that you are going to get rejected. Sometimes that's
not only going to be from a sorority. It could
be from a guy.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
A woman is teaching how not to get rejected, right,
And I mean, I know they do that, their college
counselors to do that. It feels different to me. It
feels like, here's how you make people like you or
this sorority. I don't know, I don't know. We could be.
I feel badly saying it because she was a lovely woman.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
She was she was. I just I think that there's
a way you experience the good once you're in the sorority. Yeah,
And I feel like getting into the sorority being your
authentic self and not really changing much about you. Sure, yes,
wash your hair that day.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Blow it out, wash your hair most yah.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, yeah, yes.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Well fair about every three but whatever.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah, but like wash your hair, ye, put yourself together
a little bit. Sure. Are you going to maybe go
to the mall and buy an outfit that you probably
wouldn't wear in a royal day? Yes, because you're excited
put on a cute dress. Wear's something that you feel
good in. You know, maybe put on some heels, but
you don't need to spend.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
Three thousands of dollars. And also, I wonder, like learning
how to talk to people is not an interview, right,
You're not trying to get a job, So I don't
know how do you teach that? I guess. I guess
there's social skills or a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
I mean, yes, A big part of the recruitment process
is talking to girls and really having that speed dating
mentality and having them get to know you in that
ten to fifteen minute period. But okay, you'll if you
find that connection, you'll connect with the girl in two minutes.
If you don't find the.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Connection, you move on.
Speaker 1 (38:39):
Yeah, there were girls that when I was going through
that recruitment process that I was like, okay, yeah, I'm
over this.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Yeah, I don't want it to be to keep having
this conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
It's getting boring and it does get repetitive because you're
having the same conversation with a million different sorority houses.
But when you feel that connection, those people that you
vibe with, those are the people and that and the
sororities that you want to move forward.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
And I'm sure she does coach that. I'm sure that
she also says, you know, I would say, if I'm
you know, trying to help my daughter to be more
of a conversationalist, I don't like I would definitely say,
you know, ask questions or I don't know, positives are
better than negatives. I don't know, but this seems excessive
to me, right, yeah, a little bit. I'm sorry, Leslie. Again,
(39:25):
we could be wrong, Yeah, we could, right, I just
I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I feel like, you can you girls can authentically do
this on your own. Yeah, it doesn't need to be
like all this superficial stuff. I think.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
And by the way, it's okay if you don't get
into a sorority.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
It's really okay. You'll be fine.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
It's gonna be. Okay, Yeah, it's gonna be. I can
promise you life will throw you a lot of curveballs.
This one may feel in the moment like it's a
huge one. I could almost guarantee you're gonna graduate college
and you're going to look back at it and you're
going to maybe even laugh a little about it. But
(40:08):
good luck, I mean good luck all of our listeners.
Speaker 1 (40:11):
Seriously, but really, and this is also an expense that
most people are not going to.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Just spend on the jail. So there's expense the sorority itself,
paying the sorority dues. And now you're paying.
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Your college tuition, then your books, you know, everything needed.
You're going to spend at least five hundred dollars on
textbooks during your first semester going into college. So it's
your tuition, your textbooks, your sorority fee is and then
this on top of.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Stepend it feels like it's unlesssary, like something I feel
wealthy families do. I wouldn't think that. Yeah, I don't know,
but all right, so my friend, yes, so my sorority sister,
I guess my sister is a five? And what was
your whatever? But great, interview. Yes, right, and really interesting.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Really interesting. I mean listen, if it is something that
you have access to and it's something that you want
to do, by all means, go for it. But I
also feel like you guys can really achieve.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Maybe figure it out on your own.
Speaker 1 (41:18):
So this is dirty rush and that is it for today.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
I am Jen and I'm Gia. See you next time. Right, guys,
listen to us. Next time listen see whatever it is.
Speaker 1 (41:28):
Bye you next time. Bye,
Hosts And Creators
Teddi Mellencamp
Tamra Judge
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