September 13, 2025 • 34 mins
Breaking News: We've just learned about a "technique" used in rush that has stunned us. We investigate if this is common practice, effective or simply downright rude.
Call us at 844-278-RUSH (844-278-7874) or email us at DirtyRush@iHeartRadio.com.
Follow Dirty Rush on Instagram and TikTok.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Jude, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey guys, it's Ga jud Dice and welcome back to
another week of Dirty Rush.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
This week, I have a.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Very fun celebrity guest, Mercedes North, up from The Bachelor.
So going into this episode, we kind of wanted to
bring in celebrities to get their perspective on sorority life,
but our producers have another idea for us. So we're
having a total switch up on this episode. And apparently
it's a topic that we need to talk about. I
(00:40):
don't know the topic, so let's find out.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
So.
Speaker 5 (00:43):
I just learned about something last night about sorority rush
that literally has me in shock. So I learned it
from my niece, who is I'm fifty one, so she
is twenty, so she is almost twenty. She's significantly younger.
She told me this was a thing, and I told
her she was lying. I said, this is not a thing, this.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Is not real.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
I did not want you guys to know what it
was because I want to find out genuine reactions. If
this is now something that goes on in sorority rush.
I heard it has two different names. It is called
throwing around or dead fishing, So I immediately said, what
are you talking about? And she said, basically, what happens
is if you're a middle house, because I don't think
(01:26):
this would happen at a top tier house. If you're
a middle house, girls that come in want to not
get invited back because they think they are beating the system, essentially,
which people listening this is not work, Like, I'm convinced
this does not work, this is completely crazy. So they
(01:48):
go in and they intentionally are quiet, not maybe not
even nice, disinterested, so that that house does not invite
them back. Because I guess it's called dead fishing or
throwing the round. I guess that the theory for them
is they think they're beating the system so that if
they don't get invited back to these middle houses, they
(02:10):
will help them get the.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Top ten house.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So they kind of try to shit the bed and
not put any effort in to a house that essentially,
in their mind they think it doesn't matter, so that
they'll eliminate those houses and automatically go to top tier.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Correct knowing what I know, it seems absolutely insane. I've
never heard of anything that's crazy. This would never have
happened in my era because I just first of all,
it's trying to game the system, which doesn't work right.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
But two it's so mean.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
I'm like, how can this be real? So that is
the topic. We have found people who either know about
this or who may even admit they did it, so
I would love for you guys to talk to them,
and I just will say, I do not think this
happened in my era or even like ten years younger
(03:06):
than me, fifteen years than me. Well, this seems much
more something now and I'm like horrified by it.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
To be honest with you, I have never heard of
the term, but I feel like regardless, girls have might
have been subconsciously doing it, whether it wasn't a term,
because I don't think I've never heard that term when
I was in when I was rushing, but I feel
like girls would subconsciously do that if they weren't interested
(03:33):
in those houses. They wouldn't put their efforts there because
they want to put their efforts into something else. So
I feel like, as well, maybe it's not a term
that I am aware of or that we are aware of,
but I feel like girls, but it'shavior, it's a behavior.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Yeah, I think subconsciously is like a good word because
I feel like when we went through recruitment, or when
I went through like I definitely think there was like
some houses where I was like, I don't think we're
a match. But I never went in there being like
I'm gonna be rude or I'm gonna make them think.
I'm like you know what I'm saying, Like I never
was always nice. I was always I would never you know,
put them in a situation or myself.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I think automatically when you kind of go into a
house and you start that speed dating process, when you're
in that open house round going through all that, you
kind of know who you click with and who you
don't click with. But the problem is I was still
nice to everybody. I was still myself to everybody, And Okay,
maybe I didn't connect with those girls, but maybe those
(04:30):
girls connected with me.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
So you still want to make a good impression.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
And because no matter what everyone's talking during the recruitment process,
so you still want to make a good impression and
represent yourself how you want your reputation to be. Because
if you go into a sorority and you're a.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Part for me kind of blowing my mind on it.
And again, nobody unless you work for Panelinic, I guess,
really knows exactly how this computer system algorithm works. But
the way I understand it is And when I went
through Rush, it was like, go to these houses, be
be yourself, but be polite and nice and chatty and
kind like you would at any house. And if you
(05:13):
get invited back to every house, then you pick meaning
we called them the rushie. So the rushie if they
get invited back to every house, really the advantage is
to them, they're gonna narrow down and get the houses
they want. So the thing that's like very befuddling to me,
and I think some of some people will be able
to explain it, is how would this possibly work? But
(05:35):
I guess in people's minds they're trying to game the system,
and I just stand by going gaming the system in
Rush really doesn't work. And I thought it was interesting
because I had a couple people say to me, oh, yes,
so and so did that, but she didn't end up
with a house. And it's like exactly, so look for
(05:55):
people listening this whole Rush process is so fascinating because
it's not just hey, how are you, what's your major,
let's be friends. There's all this strategy and coaches and
all these things that have changed the game so much
so I think I wanted to sort of go, let's
throw what we were going to do out and really
dig into this as these girls are in rush and
(06:17):
I'm sorry, but if you're listening, don't do this.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Yeah, do not do this. It's totally bonkers.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
And like you were saying, if you really do put
your efforts in and all the houses want you back,
take that as a compliment literally, But I also feel
like it's kind of a sense of entitlement. Clearly some
of these girls think that they're better, and when you
have that attitude, ninety percent of the time it doesn't
go your way.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
I feel like it has changed so much, Like again,
the coaches, like, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I've never heard of that until this podcast.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
And I also feel like when you're hiring a coach
to get you into this top storty, they're making you.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Someone that you're not.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Here's that saying, so like you're going to get into
a sorty Yeah, you got into the top sorty that's amazing.
You feel cool for like five seconds, but then you
look at this other stort and you're like, wait, those
are my people, Like, those are the people that I
would be like best friends for life with. Instead, I'm
in the sorority that I have nothing in common with,
like I don't agree with or not not agree with
their philanthropy, but like, I think I would match better
in this one. But it's because you weren't your true
(07:17):
ones self and you were doing all these things that
is not what the recruitment process should be. Like has
changed so much it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
It has. If I hired a rush coach at Rutgers University,
oh please, we would be canceled.
Speaker 5 (07:32):
That's crazy, And I think about okay, So I truly
thought this was made up. I literally said to my niece, No,
I think that the girl was just having a bad
day or she was shy, And my niece was like, no,
it's intentional. So my thing is the poor Russier. I
don't forget what you guys call it. A potential new
(07:56):
member talks to the P and M talks to the
so we called him.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
The Russia or the Rushi.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
That poor girl who's talking to this girl who's a
dead fish must have felt horrible about themselves. And yes
they go and make sure that girl gets dropped, so
because it would be so awful. So anyway, I hope
we have people to really talk about this because this
is the kind of thing that does give Russia a
bad name. Whereas like, I love sorority life and I
(08:24):
love all of it, but this has me sort of horrified.
Speaker 7 (08:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Well again it's that sense of like entitlement and thinking
who you are, and this is why people have such
a negative yeah you on sororities.
Speaker 6 (08:38):
I also feel like the social media that goes into
it now too has a big like I feel like
that's a reason on why it's so.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Like I mean, you think of a typical stereo type
of sorority girl, blonde hair, skinny, like great fashion. I mean,
I think BAM has a fun, fun school, but I
think about BAMA, I don't.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Yeah, I'm hearing, And again this will be interesting conversations
for this episode and others that some of those girls
doing the ootds and all that is actually hurting their
chances now that some schools are frowning upon that and
kind of aren't aren't really so into that, so it'll
be really interesting. But for me, what's been so shocking
is the change now at the core. I think, once
(09:25):
you're in the house and we'll we'll delve into this
in this series of pledging and initiation and date parties
and standards and all the things that go along with
rush and sorority life. But the rush process is so
different now and the pressure, the pressure on the girls
in the house and the pressure on the girls going
(09:46):
through it just when they're.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
So young, Like it's it should be fun, it should
be like recruitment. You're excited, you're going to college, You're
gonna be your best friends.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Like, it should not be this intense and weird.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
It's getting weird.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
It's getting getting weird.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
It's in college you're supposed to find yourself and really
find who you are. And I mean, if you're trying
to paint this picture that you're not when you're joining
a sorority, how is that going to help.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
You find yourself? If anything, that's going to make you
more confused.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Yeah, so I think let's let's dig into this and
see if this is a real thing, because Yeah, it
actually shocked me. I was like, that cannot be real.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, Hey, Katie, so is dead fishing or throwing around?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Is this a real thing?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
So?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (10:45):
At my school particularly, we call it dead fishing. I
know it's different everywhere, but I.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Just telling me where you go.
Speaker 7 (10:53):
I'm not going to tell you where I go, but
I will tell you sorority names and my experience dead
fishing part of the country.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
No, I'm not in the South.
Speaker 7 (11:05):
I'm actually in California.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Oh okay, yes, And why did I think that rushing
wasn't that big in California?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
I know, I definitely didn't think it would be that
big of a deal at my school, and sure enough
it was.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Wow, Okay, I'm excited to hear about it.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Yeah. So, basically, I knew all along that there were
two houses that I really liked, and on pref night,
I had picked the two houses.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I had had those two houses all.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
Along, and then when I got to opening my bid
or the app that we use that tells you which
houses you got back, I saw that I only had
one of those houses and the other house I had
was considered a bottom house, and I immediately freaked out
and didn't really know what to do. So I actually
(11:56):
had that bottom house as the first party, so I
had about ten minutes to get myself together and try
to not freak out. And this was when I walked
into the house and decided my best alternative was to
break the rules and talk about my boyfriend, which, yes,
(12:16):
that's one of the main things we're not supposed to do.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
But okay, we can, I just have you. Can I
clarify something quick?
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Mm hm?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
So you you're in the final round? You were in
rough round Pugh round.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
So the day.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Houses that you voted for were your top two yes, and.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
I got dropped from one of them, and then I
ended up with another house that I did not want?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Got it? And did you what house did you not
want tried?
Speaker 7 (12:48):
Delt was this house which is a not good strority
at my school at all?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I mean, yeah, I guess I feel like Nationally tried
a pretty pretty good one, but it was bad at
your school.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
Yeah, and DJ and Kappa were the two houses I
had liked all along, and those were the two houses
I had picked the night before, but I got dropped
from Kappa.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Okay, got it?
Speaker 7 (13:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
So you wint talking?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
And then wait, I'm blanking because when you do your
voting system and you rank your houses. You if you
didn't pick tried out, how did that come up on
your cards then.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
Because I don't think it really mattered, Like I didn't
necessarily drop them. I just ranked all of the houses
in the order of which I wanted them.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So your third house was maybe tried out, and then
you got dropped from your second, So then they bumped
your third house up.
Speaker 7 (13:47):
To your something along about those lines. But there's no
way tried out was even my third choice.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
Okay, So you were like very much against chidelle, like
you were like, I did not want to be a
part of that, okay, exactly.
Speaker 7 (13:59):
And at my they strongly encourage us to not suicide bid. Yeah,
and they tell the freshman that if you suicide bid,
you will end up on the bottom of the house
that you did picks list. So I had talked to
my Roquai and she said, you absolutely can't suicide bid,
like that would not be a smart decision. So I
(14:21):
was like, all right, then I need to figure out
a way to not be invited back to this house
tomorrow on mid day because at my school, especially this
that specific year, if you made it to pref night
with two houses, then you were guaranteed a bid from
one of them. So basically, in my head, in the
ten minutes I had to show up the tri Dee,
(14:43):
I thought my best alternative was to make them drop me.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
So I get paired with this.
Speaker 7 (14:50):
Girl who was so sweet, and I was crying, and
I think she will probably thought I was crying because
I had found my home, but no, I was crying
because I really did want to be there and it
had just been such a long and emotional week and
I was like okay, Like she asked me what I
did this summer or what I'm looking forward to, something
along those lines, and I said, I'm so excited because
(15:13):
I'm gonna go visit my boyfriend at the Naple Academy.
And I thought this was like a sly way to
bring up my boyfriend and it was like relevant to
the conversation, but like I still knew I wasn't supposed
to be doing that.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
But then by pref rown though too, because you've already
made it so far. Yeah, I feel like the conversations
start to get a little more personal. You do break
the rules a little bit, and it's kind of okay
totally because you're also sitting there having an hour long
conversation with this person.
Speaker 7 (15:42):
Totally yeah, but being on the other end of it,
I didn't know that. It was like now, okay, So
I'm thinking like, okay, this is great, Like I'm gonna
end up getting dropped from this house. And sure enough,
right as I mentioned naval academy, this girl who I'm
talking to, who's prepping me, immediately freaks out and is like,
(16:05):
oh my gosh, I have always wanted to go to
the Naval Academy. And then she goes on and on
about how she applied there and she didn't get in,
but she's going to enlist after college or do ROTC.
I immediately start crying more. Yes, I'm so overwhelmed, and wow.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
We're connecting now this I am getting this house exactly.
Speaker 7 (16:29):
My plan completely backfired.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And she's just like it's.
Speaker 7 (16:34):
Okay, this will be your home too. Like she's just
feeling really bonded to me in this moment, and I
am losing it and I don't know what I'm supposed
to do from there, but luckily it ended up working
out for me. I tried to be dry with the
girl for the rest of the night, and be show
(16:55):
that I wasn't super interested, but while still being respectful
because I don't have it in me to actually be
blatantly rude. And I also know now that I could
have said I don't see myself here, because being on
the other end of it, I know that that's a
conversation that girls have while going through the process, and
in hindsight, I should have said that instead of being
(17:16):
uninterested and breaking the roles.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
But luckily, what did you do in the end for
when you want to go vote?
Speaker 7 (17:27):
So luckily I had that house is my first party,
and then I had a break because there were two
parties that I didn't have, And then I had the
last party at my current house, which is DG, and
I got to DG and I saw the girl I
had talked to the day before who I loved and
bonded with, and actually we were from the same hometown.
(17:48):
I didn't know her super well because she was a
senior and I obviously was a freshman. But I saw
her and immediately started crying and told her everything, which
once again again could have backfired. But thankfully she was
a super sweet girl. And my mom was also a
DIJI in this house, like at my school. So she
had a great letter from my mom that she read me.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Well, you and you had legacy at that point.
Speaker 7 (18:15):
Yes, so it was pretty clear that I was going
to be safe. It was just the idea of what
if they don't like me and I have to sign
this contract at the end of the night, saying that
I will stick by either house, because that's how they
do it at my school. If you don't suicide bid
and then you're not able to be a part of
(18:36):
COB or continuous open bidding that year, you have to
wait until recruitment the following year. So I was terrified,
but thankfully it all ended up working out. I didn't
end up suicide bidding, which I think was the smart
decision because I totally could have ended up without a house.
(18:58):
Who knows, But it ended up working out and I
could not be happier. But dead fishing is definitely a thing,
and I've definitely experienced it being on the other side,
and it's not a good position to be in on
either end.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, I mean, thank you for telling us your story,
and I'm really happy that you are in DG now
and you've found your home. But I mean, you also
realize now that maybe you should have just been honest
and you should have just told them you didn't see
yourself here, and it's great that you have that self
(19:35):
reflection to kind of just see that. And I don't
think you had the worst story she did. She did
end up connecting with you and really loving you. So
I mean, I'm happy it all worked out, and you know,
sometimes honesty is the best answer.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
I think I definitely learned a lot from that process
and definitely learned even more being on the other end
of but I'm really happy about the way things turned out.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, no, same, Well, thanks Katie, thanks so much for
coming on. Thank you, hey, Jane, and welcome to Dirty Rush.
So let's get into it is throwing around real?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Yes it is?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Okay, Yeah, it's me.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
Well, when someone throws around, they don't particularly want to
return to that chapter, and they purposefully act less interested
in the girls they're talking to, and they act being
on purpose so the chapter won't ask them back in
the next round, and they can have a better chance
of getting their preferred chapters back. And at least at
(20:45):
the school I go to, we promote values based recruitment,
so we want to take girls into our houses based
on their personalities, what we like about them, rather than
what they look like. So throwing around really hurts this
process because we're not getting to.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Know the girls because of their personalities.
Speaker 8 (21:04):
We're getting a super boring version of them who doesn't
want to be with us.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Valid did you say that they're mean when they do
throwing around?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah, sometimes girls can be mean.
Speaker 8 (21:14):
One time I had a girl who was like, can
I ask you a super unique and interesting question that
no one has ever asked before? And then I was like, oh, yeah, sure.
She was like, what's your favorite color? And I was like, oh, like,
I love purple.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
I love purple. That's my favorite color. What's yours?
Speaker 8 (21:33):
And she was like, I really like beige. Beige is
my favorite color.
Speaker 6 (21:37):
Beige?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
And I was like, oh, okay, what do you even
say to that? Like, and why? How is that a
unique question?
Speaker 8 (21:44):
That's the most basic question that anyone could ever ask.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So, oh my gosh, yeah, but honestly, beige.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
It's like, Okay, you're such a smart ass.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Like why is.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
I have a question for all of you? I heard
that you can tell panelinic if you think someone is
throwing around is that accurate, because I don't know how
you would actually say, oh, they're throwing around when maybe
they actually are just a little bit.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, I feel like, how can you accuse someone?
Speaker 8 (22:17):
You can report someone to Panhell for throwing around, but
it is pretty difficult because they have to be breaking
the rules somehow. You can't be kicked out of recruitment
for being boring, so you have to be actively talking
about things you're not supposed to, breaking rules or going
against like.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
What the chapter's values are.
Speaker 8 (22:39):
So girls are able to get away with throwing rounds
pretty easily.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I did find this out. Sorry to jump in, but
because I thought, well, why not just not go to
that party? I guess if you skip a party you
can be eliminated from the rush back.
Speaker 8 (22:53):
Absolutely, you have my school, you have to attend every
single round you're invited back to, or you're not allowed
to PARTICI eight in primary recruitment.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
I think that's how my school was too.
Speaker 7 (23:02):
Same.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
That's pretty standards, like the respectful thing to do.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, just kind of give again, give everyone a shot
because you'll be surprised.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Maybe you do like a.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Middle to your sorority over a high sorority.
Speaker 8 (23:16):
Yeah, I would absolutely much rather be in my chapter
than quote unquote top sorority at my school because the
culture is toxic and I make much better friends here
than I ever would anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
So you didn't necessarily participate in the throwing around, but
you had you experienced it from other girls. Yes, other
p and ms that were coming in.
Speaker 8 (23:42):
Not incredibly common in my chapter, but it does happen,
but a lot of other chapters at my school experienced
it a lot. And it really hurts girls. And these
girls go through so much work to prepare for primary
recruitment and then when they have to meet with every
single P and M and it's really awful. It hurts
(24:03):
our self confidence and makes them feel bad about the
organization that they love so much and work so hard
to join. So it really is a bummer.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Of course, it's almost like you're you're trying so hard
to get to know a person, but you're not even
getting to know them for who.
Speaker 6 (24:20):
They well, especially when you like we know and obviously
you know, like going into like doing recruitment the other
side of it. You put so much time and effort,
so when someone comes in and they are like rude
or like trying to talk about things just to get.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Out of it, like that's so disheartening.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
No, yeah, because I mean at the end of the day,
it's Yeah, it's disrespectful no matter where, like, no matter
where you're ranked. Each sorority puts so much effort into
making their rush process perfect and exactly how they want
it to be and how they want it to be
like represented and presented to the p and ms.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
So for girls to do that it is.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
A slow up in the face. They should really give
everyone a fair shot.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Jane, what were you going to say?
Speaker 7 (25:04):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (25:05):
I was just saying. One time.
Speaker 8 (25:07):
What a friend of mine even had a girl come
in and she sat down and the first question she
asked was are you Jewish? Yep, because she was wearing
a star of David and had a slightly Jewish last name,
and they just that was the first question they asked her.
And it was simply because they didn't want to be
(25:28):
at that house and they wanted to be dropped from
that chapter.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
They should have been dropped from recruitment.
Speaker 8 (25:33):
I think they ended up being dropped from recruitment because
it was crazy. Yeah, that's insane, And at least at
my school, the chapters do work really hard to eliminate
p and ms like that. Uh, so you can get
(25:54):
I guess blacklisted from a lot of chapters for displaying
that kind of behavior negative comments towards other chapters. It
can affect you in the recruitment process for sure, So
you do have to be careful obviously, but it is
really hard to get caught for throwing rounds.
Speaker 7 (26:12):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Well, Jane, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Thanks for telling us your story, and I hope that
you kind of shed light on this so future p
and ms know to go into recruitment with an open
mind and really give everyone.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Their best efforts.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Thank you guys, Thank you, Hey Leslie, and welcome to
Dirty Rush.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
So was it dead fishing.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Or throwing around a thing at your university?
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Do you know what I'm talking?
Speaker 9 (27:00):
I don't think we called it dead fishing, but they're
definitely like, I know what throwing around is, and that
was definitely like talked about, but it was never called
dead fishing, so.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
You get the concept, yeah, of what it is.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Okay, So what was your experience?
Speaker 9 (27:20):
So I would say I didn't intentionally throw around like
that wasn't.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
My goal, but I was so.
Speaker 9 (27:30):
My freshman year, I was on the dance team at
my school. So I was already stressed because I knew
my teammates were going to be like on the other
side of things, and even though they're I was supposed
to talk to you, they were like always in my ear,
like what we think of this?
Speaker 8 (27:44):
We think of that.
Speaker 9 (27:45):
So I was already stressed out. And then I'd given
my ro gamma whatever it's called, all of the dates
or like the times I couldn't do. So I told
them like during round two, I have a performance, like
I can't make this time. And it was on Zoom
because it was during twenty twenty one one. So I
had told them like, I can't do this time. I
get my schedule back that morning and in the middle
(28:06):
of the performance is my round scheduled? And I was like, okay,
well there's I was too scared to go to Panalytic
and be like, okay, well I can't make this work.
I knew if I missed it that I was going
to hold like I'd heard rumors like oh you could
get dropped like whatever. So it's like what can I do?
So I go out for the performance and it was
(28:27):
like this like neat, like introducing the athletes to the
student body something like really random, and I'm like, thinking
my brain. I can like here the chancewers are giving
a speech, and I'm like thinking my brain. I'm like,
I'm supposed to be online in one minute. Im supost
bee on line in one minute. So as soon as
the chancer's like, okay, we're going to introduce like another
student group, I run off the court and I immediately
(28:50):
go and I grab my laptop. I'm still in my uniform.
I'm sweating, and I run into the bathroom that we
had like in the area. I have my ear pods
in and I'm like, hello, I can't you hear me?
Because I didn't. I knew I was zosy on zoom anyways,
like we were gonna go back out at some point,
and I knew I had, like I don't know, maybe
two minutes before I would have to be back out,
(29:12):
and so I started talking to this girl and then
at some point I just cut it off and I
was like just gonna like because there was nothing else
I could do. I could hear my director being like
everybody needs to come back out. Everybody needs to come
back out. So I was just like and I could
barely hear. Anyways, I'm whispering. She's like, so, what's your major?
And she was very quiet too. Also, it wasn't a
(29:33):
house that I was super excited about the first day too.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask if it was
a house that you wanted.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I mean, you were also a part of the dance team.
You had a very big commitment. If you miss the dance,
you would have probably gotten penalized or kicked off the team.
You were a freshman, like you were also in a
very interesting situation. You did show the effort to getting
on the Zoom poll.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
It wasn't like you were I feel like, if anything,
they'd be like, oh my gosh, like.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, Like, it's not like you were being completely selfish
and you know, disregarded the entire rush process. You did
make the effort to go on the Zoom, which I
would have been stressed to even do that.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I don't even know how you did that.
Speaker 9 (30:15):
But I know, but I was hoping at least since
I did, like I technically didn't miss around, I was like,
maybe you would be okay, Yeah they did still log on,
but so that was I guess me texted, did she.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Know that like things got messed up with your schedule,
Like did you at least explain that part?
Speaker 9 (30:34):
So this signal was so bad. I like don't even
think she could understand what I was saying. She did,
I like think that she realized I was in a stall.
I think she realized that I was legitimately like in
a bathroom stall before. And I was like, yeah, like
I'm sorry, like I'm kind of in the middle of things,
and she.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Was like what, like I couldn't even like son.
Speaker 8 (30:55):
And like this.
Speaker 9 (30:55):
Also wasn't a chapter that like a lot of chapters
have girls and dance team, this was not. Once she
was definitely like, who is this like cheerleader girl like
talking to me on zoom in her uniform too. She
probably thought it was like just pulling up in my
uniform and pull up my uniform. But so he didn't
intentionally throw around technically, but I did, I guess technically
(31:17):
misrun and I'm not I didn't end up in that chapter,
but that was my.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Soy they dropped you after that, they did?
Speaker 9 (31:26):
They dropped.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
I mean, honestly, I'm not mad at this. I'm really not.
I feel like you tried your bed and this is a.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Very unique situation that like doesn't happen every day.
Speaker 9 (31:41):
But I definitely did feel bad because I didn't even
like remember her name or I was like, should I
have reached out her? But I was like, it's probably fine.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Things have happened. Things were you know, chaotic. Yeah, you
were you know, going on you you were dancing at
a welling. Yeah, well.
Speaker 9 (32:03):
Yeah, so I like I knew which houses obviously I
was more excited about. And I think there is definitely
the vibe at school was like, okay, well, if you're
seeing ten houses in a day and like your social
battery only has you know so much. I think there's
definitely houses that, especially as the rounds got later, you
kind of knew. But I would say that was the
only time it was like for me personally, but I did.
(32:25):
I do definitely know people that were like, well, I'm
going into X, Y and Z, like so at least
I don't have to be super on or you know.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Thinking yeah, yeah, I mean you seem like a very
sweet girl, so I you know, I think the efforts
were there, and again, very unique situation, very unique scenario.
So honestly, everything happens for a reason. You got booked
during that time when you were supposed to be dancing,
so maybe that serati you know, wasn't supposed to be
(32:55):
for you. So well, you know, I don't think you
were intentionally trying to be rude, So I know, obviously
some people can have that attitude and think that they're
better than certain sororities, but you know, I think it's
good to go into every round really just showing your
best efforts because you are, at the end of the day,
(33:16):
representing yourself, so you want people to you know, have
a good image and view on you and just think,
you know, show your best self. And at the end
of the day, if you got all the houses back
and you were the one eliminating them, allie take it
as a compliment at the end of the day, you.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Know, totally.
Speaker 9 (33:35):
Yeah, No, I definitely agree. And also especially I don't
know if this keys at other schools, but at UCLA
for sure, everyone's friends with everyone, Like my roommates weren't
different supporties than me, Like you know, it wasn't like
so we could have easily gotten back to them like
other people like oh so and so like was very
clear like didn't want to be there, like you know whatever.
(33:56):
So that's was something I think people need to know
before they like enter Rush, Like if you think you're
throwing one house, like you could be throwing five houses.
Like they could go home and be like tell their roommates.
This girl was so rude, like, oh.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Yeah, well, even think about your pie caps.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I don't know if you called them roueow. I called
them pie caps. But they all, you know, as they're
all guiding you guys, bringing you to open houses, bringing
you to every rounds. But then they're all coming together
at the end, and each one of them are from
different sororities so they.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Could all talk too.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
So totally, but Leslie, thank you so much for coming
on Dirty Rush, and I am happy you ended up
where you belonged.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Good hustle. I saw the hustle.
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Sorority Life with
your hosts me Gia.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Jude, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Kessler.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hey guys, it's Ga jud Dice and welcome back to
another week of Dirty Rush.
Speaker 3 (00:16):
This week, I have a.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Very fun celebrity guest, Mercedes North, up from The Bachelor.
So going into this episode, we kind of wanted to
bring in celebrities to get their perspective on sorority life,
but our producers have another idea for us. So we're
having a total switch up on this episode. And apparently
it's a topic that we need to talk about. I
(00:40):
don't know the topic, so let's find out.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
So.
Speaker 5 (00:43):
I just learned about something last night about sorority rush
that literally has me in shock. So I learned it
from my niece, who is I'm fifty one, so she
is twenty, so she is almost twenty. She's significantly younger.
She told me this was a thing, and I told
her she was lying. I said, this is not a thing, this.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Is not real.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
I did not want you guys to know what it
was because I want to find out genuine reactions. If
this is now something that goes on in sorority rush.
I heard it has two different names. It is called
throwing around or dead fishing, So I immediately said, what
are you talking about? And she said, basically, what happens
is if you're a middle house, because I don't think
(01:26):
this would happen at a top tier house. If you're
a middle house, girls that come in want to not
get invited back because they think they are beating the system, essentially,
which people listening this is not work, Like, I'm convinced
this does not work, this is completely crazy. So they
(01:48):
go in and they intentionally are quiet, not maybe not
even nice, disinterested, so that that house does not invite
them back. Because I guess it's called dead fishing or
throwing the round. I guess that the theory for them
is they think they're beating the system so that if
they don't get invited back to these middle houses, they
(02:10):
will help them get the.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Top ten house.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So they kind of try to shit the bed and
not put any effort in to a house that essentially,
in their mind they think it doesn't matter, so that
they'll eliminate those houses and automatically go to top tier.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
Correct knowing what I know, it seems absolutely insane. I've
never heard of anything that's crazy. This would never have
happened in my era because I just first of all,
it's trying to game the system, which doesn't work right.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
But two it's so mean.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
I'm like, how can this be real? So that is
the topic. We have found people who either know about
this or who may even admit they did it, so
I would love for you guys to talk to them,
and I just will say, I do not think this
happened in my era or even like ten years younger
(03:06):
than me, fifteen years than me. Well, this seems much
more something now and I'm like horrified by it.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
To be honest with you, I have never heard of
the term, but I feel like regardless, girls have might
have been subconsciously doing it, whether it wasn't a term,
because I don't think I've never heard that term when
I was in when I was rushing, but I feel
like girls would subconsciously do that if they weren't interested
(03:33):
in those houses. They wouldn't put their efforts there because
they want to put their efforts into something else. So
I feel like, as well, maybe it's not a term
that I am aware of or that we are aware of,
but I feel like girls, but it'shavior, it's a behavior.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
Yeah, I think subconsciously is like a good word because
I feel like when we went through recruitment, or when
I went through like I definitely think there was like
some houses where I was like, I don't think we're
a match. But I never went in there being like
I'm gonna be rude or I'm gonna make them think.
I'm like you know what I'm saying, Like I never
was always nice. I was always I would never you know,
put them in a situation or myself.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
I think automatically when you kind of go into a
house and you start that speed dating process, when you're
in that open house round going through all that, you
kind of know who you click with and who you
don't click with. But the problem is I was still
nice to everybody. I was still myself to everybody, And Okay,
maybe I didn't connect with those girls, but maybe those
(04:30):
girls connected with me.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
So you still want to make a good impression.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
And because no matter what everyone's talking during the recruitment process,
so you still want to make a good impression and
represent yourself how you want your reputation to be. Because
if you go into a sorority and you're a.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
Part for me kind of blowing my mind on it.
And again, nobody unless you work for Panelinic, I guess,
really knows exactly how this computer system algorithm works. But
the way I understand it is And when I went
through Rush, it was like, go to these houses, be
be yourself, but be polite and nice and chatty and
kind like you would at any house. And if you
(05:13):
get invited back to every house, then you pick meaning
we called them the rushie. So the rushie if they
get invited back to every house, really the advantage is
to them, they're gonna narrow down and get the houses
they want. So the thing that's like very befuddling to me,
and I think some of some people will be able
to explain it, is how would this possibly work? But
(05:35):
I guess in people's minds they're trying to game the system,
and I just stand by going gaming the system in
Rush really doesn't work. And I thought it was interesting
because I had a couple people say to me, oh, yes,
so and so did that, but she didn't end up
with a house. And it's like exactly, so look for
(05:55):
people listening this whole Rush process is so fascinating because
it's not just hey, how are you, what's your major,
let's be friends. There's all this strategy and coaches and
all these things that have changed the game so much
so I think I wanted to sort of go, let's
throw what we were going to do out and really
dig into this as these girls are in rush and
(06:17):
I'm sorry, but if you're listening, don't do this.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
Yeah, do not do this. It's totally bonkers.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
And like you were saying, if you really do put
your efforts in and all the houses want you back,
take that as a compliment literally, But I also feel
like it's kind of a sense of entitlement. Clearly some
of these girls think that they're better, and when you
have that attitude, ninety percent of the time it doesn't
go your way.
Speaker 6 (06:41):
I feel like it has changed so much, Like again,
the coaches, like, that's crazy.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
I've never heard of that until this podcast.
Speaker 6 (06:48):
And I also feel like when you're hiring a coach
to get you into this top storty, they're making you.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Someone that you're not.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
Here's that saying, so like you're going to get into
a sorty Yeah, you got into the top sorty that's amazing.
You feel cool for like five seconds, but then you
look at this other stort and you're like, wait, those
are my people, Like, those are the people that I
would be like best friends for life with. Instead, I'm
in the sorority that I have nothing in common with,
like I don't agree with or not not agree with
their philanthropy, but like, I think I would match better
in this one. But it's because you weren't your true
(07:17):
ones self and you were doing all these things that
is not what the recruitment process should be. Like has
changed so much it's crazy.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
It has. If I hired a rush coach at Rutgers University,
oh please, we would be canceled.
Speaker 5 (07:32):
That's crazy, And I think about okay, So I truly
thought this was made up. I literally said to my niece, No,
I think that the girl was just having a bad
day or she was shy, And my niece was like, no,
it's intentional. So my thing is the poor Russier. I
don't forget what you guys call it. A potential new
(07:56):
member talks to the P and M talks to the
so we called him.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
The Russia or the Rushi.
Speaker 5 (08:02):
That poor girl who's talking to this girl who's a
dead fish must have felt horrible about themselves. And yes
they go and make sure that girl gets dropped, so
because it would be so awful. So anyway, I hope
we have people to really talk about this because this
is the kind of thing that does give Russia a
bad name. Whereas like, I love sorority life and I
(08:24):
love all of it, but this has me sort of horrified.
Speaker 7 (08:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
Well again it's that sense of like entitlement and thinking
who you are, and this is why people have such
a negative yeah you on sororities.
Speaker 6 (08:38):
I also feel like the social media that goes into
it now too has a big like I feel like
that's a reason on why it's so.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Like I mean, you think of a typical stereo type
of sorority girl, blonde hair, skinny, like great fashion. I mean,
I think BAM has a fun, fun school, but I
think about BAMA, I don't.
Speaker 5 (09:02):
Yeah, I'm hearing, And again this will be interesting conversations
for this episode and others that some of those girls
doing the ootds and all that is actually hurting their
chances now that some schools are frowning upon that and
kind of aren't aren't really so into that, so it'll
be really interesting. But for me, what's been so shocking
is the change now at the core. I think, once
(09:25):
you're in the house and we'll we'll delve into this
in this series of pledging and initiation and date parties
and standards and all the things that go along with
rush and sorority life. But the rush process is so
different now and the pressure, the pressure on the girls
in the house and the pressure on the girls going
(09:46):
through it just when they're.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
So young, Like it's it should be fun, it should
be like recruitment. You're excited, you're going to college, You're
gonna be your best friends.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Like, it should not be this intense and weird.
Speaker 5 (09:58):
It's getting weird.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
It's getting getting weird.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
It's in college you're supposed to find yourself and really
find who you are. And I mean, if you're trying
to paint this picture that you're not when you're joining
a sorority, how is that going to help.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
You find yourself? If anything, that's going to make you
more confused.
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Yeah, so I think let's let's dig into this and
see if this is a real thing, because Yeah, it
actually shocked me. I was like, that cannot be real.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah, Hey, Katie, so is dead fishing or throwing around?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Is this a real thing?
Speaker 4 (10:44):
So?
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (10:45):
At my school particularly, we call it dead fishing. I
know it's different everywhere, but I.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Just telling me where you go.
Speaker 7 (10:53):
I'm not going to tell you where I go, but
I will tell you sorority names and my experience dead
fishing part of the country.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
No, I'm not in the South.
Speaker 7 (11:05):
I'm actually in California.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Oh okay, yes, And why did I think that rushing
wasn't that big in California?
Speaker 7 (11:13):
I know, I definitely didn't think it would be that
big of a deal at my school, and sure enough
it was.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Wow, Okay, I'm excited to hear about it.
Speaker 7 (11:21):
Yeah. So, basically, I knew all along that there were
two houses that I really liked, and on pref night,
I had picked the two houses.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
I had had those two houses all.
Speaker 7 (11:35):
Along, and then when I got to opening my bid
or the app that we use that tells you which
houses you got back, I saw that I only had
one of those houses and the other house I had
was considered a bottom house, and I immediately freaked out
and didn't really know what to do. So I actually
(11:56):
had that bottom house as the first party, so I
had about ten minutes to get myself together and try
to not freak out. And this was when I walked
into the house and decided my best alternative was to
break the rules and talk about my boyfriend, which, yes,
(12:16):
that's one of the main things we're not supposed to do.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
But okay, we can, I just have you. Can I
clarify something quick?
Speaker 6 (12:22):
Mm hm?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
So you you're in the final round? You were in
rough round Pugh round.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
So the day.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Houses that you voted for were your top two yes, and.
Speaker 7 (12:37):
I got dropped from one of them, and then I
ended up with another house that I did not want?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Got it? And did you what house did you not
want tried?
Speaker 7 (12:48):
Delt was this house which is a not good strority
at my school at all?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
I mean, yeah, I guess I feel like Nationally tried
a pretty pretty good one, but it was bad at
your school.
Speaker 7 (13:02):
Yeah, and DJ and Kappa were the two houses I
had liked all along, and those were the two houses
I had picked the night before, but I got dropped
from Kappa.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Okay, got it?
Speaker 7 (13:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
So you wint talking?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
And then wait, I'm blanking because when you do your
voting system and you rank your houses. You if you
didn't pick tried out, how did that come up on
your cards then.
Speaker 7 (13:31):
Because I don't think it really mattered, Like I didn't
necessarily drop them. I just ranked all of the houses
in the order of which I wanted them.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
So your third house was maybe tried out, and then
you got dropped from your second, So then they bumped
your third house up.
Speaker 7 (13:47):
To your something along about those lines. But there's no
way tried out was even my third choice.
Speaker 6 (13:53):
Okay, So you were like very much against chidelle, like
you were like, I did not want to be a
part of that, okay, exactly.
Speaker 7 (13:59):
And at my they strongly encourage us to not suicide bid. Yeah,
and they tell the freshman that if you suicide bid,
you will end up on the bottom of the house
that you did picks list. So I had talked to
my Roquai and she said, you absolutely can't suicide bid,
like that would not be a smart decision. So I
(14:21):
was like, all right, then I need to figure out
a way to not be invited back to this house
tomorrow on mid day because at my school, especially this
that specific year, if you made it to pref night
with two houses, then you were guaranteed a bid from
one of them. So basically, in my head, in the
ten minutes I had to show up the tri Dee,
(14:43):
I thought my best alternative was to make them drop me.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
So I get paired with this.
Speaker 7 (14:50):
Girl who was so sweet, and I was crying, and
I think she will probably thought I was crying because
I had found my home, but no, I was crying
because I really did want to be there and it
had just been such a long and emotional week and
I was like okay, Like she asked me what I
did this summer or what I'm looking forward to, something
along those lines, and I said, I'm so excited because
(15:13):
I'm gonna go visit my boyfriend at the Naple Academy.
And I thought this was like a sly way to
bring up my boyfriend and it was like relevant to
the conversation, but like I still knew I wasn't supposed
to be doing that.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
But then by pref rown though too, because you've already
made it so far. Yeah, I feel like the conversations
start to get a little more personal. You do break
the rules a little bit, and it's kind of okay
totally because you're also sitting there having an hour long
conversation with this person.
Speaker 7 (15:42):
Totally yeah, but being on the other end of it,
I didn't know that. It was like now, okay, So
I'm thinking like, okay, this is great, Like I'm gonna
end up getting dropped from this house. And sure enough,
right as I mentioned naval academy, this girl who I'm
talking to, who's prepping me, immediately freaks out and is like,
(16:05):
oh my gosh, I have always wanted to go to
the Naval Academy. And then she goes on and on
about how she applied there and she didn't get in,
but she's going to enlist after college or do ROTC.
I immediately start crying more. Yes, I'm so overwhelmed, and wow.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
We're connecting now this I am getting this house exactly.
Speaker 7 (16:29):
My plan completely backfired.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And she's just like it's.
Speaker 7 (16:34):
Okay, this will be your home too. Like she's just
feeling really bonded to me in this moment, and I
am losing it and I don't know what I'm supposed
to do from there, but luckily it ended up working
out for me. I tried to be dry with the
girl for the rest of the night, and be show
(16:55):
that I wasn't super interested, but while still being respectful
because I don't have it in me to actually be
blatantly rude. And I also know now that I could
have said I don't see myself here, because being on
the other end of it, I know that that's a
conversation that girls have while going through the process, and
in hindsight, I should have said that instead of being
(17:16):
uninterested and breaking the roles.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
But luckily, what did you do in the end for
when you want to go vote?
Speaker 7 (17:27):
So luckily I had that house is my first party,
and then I had a break because there were two
parties that I didn't have, And then I had the
last party at my current house, which is DG, and
I got to DG and I saw the girl I
had talked to the day before who I loved and
bonded with, and actually we were from the same hometown.
(17:48):
I didn't know her super well because she was a
senior and I obviously was a freshman. But I saw
her and immediately started crying and told her everything, which
once again again could have backfired. But thankfully she was
a super sweet girl. And my mom was also a
DIJI in this house, like at my school. So she
had a great letter from my mom that she read me.
Speaker 3 (18:12):
Well, you and you had legacy at that point.
Speaker 7 (18:15):
Yes, so it was pretty clear that I was going
to be safe. It was just the idea of what
if they don't like me and I have to sign
this contract at the end of the night, saying that
I will stick by either house, because that's how they
do it at my school. If you don't suicide bid
and then you're not able to be a part of
(18:36):
COB or continuous open bidding that year, you have to
wait until recruitment the following year. So I was terrified,
but thankfully it all ended up working out. I didn't
end up suicide bidding, which I think was the smart
decision because I totally could have ended up without a house.
(18:58):
Who knows, But it ended up working out and I
could not be happier. But dead fishing is definitely a thing,
and I've definitely experienced it being on the other side,
and it's not a good position to be in on
either end.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, I mean, thank you for telling us your story,
and I'm really happy that you are in DG now
and you've found your home. But I mean, you also
realize now that maybe you should have just been honest
and you should have just told them you didn't see
yourself here, and it's great that you have that self
(19:35):
reflection to kind of just see that. And I don't
think you had the worst story she did. She did
end up connecting with you and really loving you. So
I mean, I'm happy it all worked out, and you know,
sometimes honesty is the best answer.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 7 (19:55):
I think I definitely learned a lot from that process
and definitely learned even more being on the other end
of but I'm really happy about the way things turned out.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Yeah, no, same, Well, thanks Katie, thanks so much for
coming on. Thank you, hey, Jane, and welcome to Dirty Rush.
So let's get into it is throwing around real?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Yes it is?
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Okay, Yeah, it's me.
Speaker 8 (20:21):
Well, when someone throws around, they don't particularly want to
return to that chapter, and they purposefully act less interested
in the girls they're talking to, and they act being
on purpose so the chapter won't ask them back in
the next round, and they can have a better chance
of getting their preferred chapters back. And at least at
(20:45):
the school I go to, we promote values based recruitment,
so we want to take girls into our houses based
on their personalities, what we like about them, rather than
what they look like. So throwing around really hurts this
process because we're not getting to.
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Know the girls because of their personalities.
Speaker 8 (21:04):
We're getting a super boring version of them who doesn't
want to be with us.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Valid did you say that they're mean when they do
throwing around?
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah, sometimes girls can be mean.
Speaker 8 (21:14):
One time I had a girl who was like, can
I ask you a super unique and interesting question that
no one has ever asked before? And then I was like, oh, yeah, sure.
She was like, what's your favorite color? And I was like, oh, like,
I love purple.
Speaker 4 (21:32):
I love purple. That's my favorite color. What's yours?
Speaker 8 (21:33):
And she was like, I really like beige. Beige is
my favorite color.
Speaker 6 (21:37):
Beige?
Speaker 4 (21:38):
And I was like, oh, okay, what do you even
say to that? Like, and why? How is that a
unique question?
Speaker 8 (21:44):
That's the most basic question that anyone could ever ask.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So, oh my gosh, yeah, but honestly, beige.
Speaker 3 (21:51):
It's like, Okay, you're such a smart ass.
Speaker 4 (21:54):
Like why is.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
I have a question for all of you? I heard
that you can tell panelinic if you think someone is
throwing around is that accurate, because I don't know how
you would actually say, oh, they're throwing around when maybe
they actually are just a little bit.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Yeah, I feel like, how can you accuse someone?
Speaker 8 (22:17):
You can report someone to Panhell for throwing around, but
it is pretty difficult because they have to be breaking
the rules somehow. You can't be kicked out of recruitment
for being boring, so you have to be actively talking
about things you're not supposed to, breaking rules or going
against like.
Speaker 4 (22:36):
What the chapter's values are.
Speaker 8 (22:39):
So girls are able to get away with throwing rounds
pretty easily.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
I did find this out. Sorry to jump in, but
because I thought, well, why not just not go to
that party? I guess if you skip a party you
can be eliminated from the rush back.
Speaker 8 (22:53):
Absolutely, you have my school, you have to attend every
single round you're invited back to, or you're not allowed
to PARTICI eight in primary recruitment.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
I think that's how my school was too.
Speaker 7 (23:02):
Same.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
That's pretty standards, like the respectful thing to do.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Yeah, just kind of give again, give everyone a shot
because you'll be surprised.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Maybe you do like a.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Middle to your sorority over a high sorority.
Speaker 8 (23:16):
Yeah, I would absolutely much rather be in my chapter
than quote unquote top sorority at my school because the
culture is toxic and I make much better friends here
than I ever would anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
So you didn't necessarily participate in the throwing around, but
you had you experienced it from other girls. Yes, other
p and ms that were coming in.
Speaker 8 (23:42):
Not incredibly common in my chapter, but it does happen,
but a lot of other chapters at my school experienced
it a lot. And it really hurts girls. And these
girls go through so much work to prepare for primary
recruitment and then when they have to meet with every
single P and M and it's really awful. It hurts
(24:03):
our self confidence and makes them feel bad about the
organization that they love so much and work so hard
to join. So it really is a bummer.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Of course, it's almost like you're you're trying so hard
to get to know a person, but you're not even
getting to know them for who.
Speaker 6 (24:20):
They well, especially when you like we know and obviously
you know, like going into like doing recruitment the other
side of it. You put so much time and effort,
so when someone comes in and they are like rude
or like trying to talk about things just to get.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Out of it, like that's so disheartening.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
No, yeah, because I mean at the end of the day,
it's Yeah, it's disrespectful no matter where, like, no matter
where you're ranked. Each sorority puts so much effort into
making their rush process perfect and exactly how they want
it to be and how they want it to be
like represented and presented to the p and ms.
Speaker 3 (24:58):
So for girls to do that it is.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
A slow up in the face. They should really give
everyone a fair shot.
Speaker 5 (25:03):
Jane, what were you going to say?
Speaker 7 (25:04):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (25:05):
I was just saying. One time.
Speaker 8 (25:07):
What a friend of mine even had a girl come
in and she sat down and the first question she
asked was are you Jewish? Yep, because she was wearing
a star of David and had a slightly Jewish last name,
and they just that was the first question they asked her.
And it was simply because they didn't want to be
(25:28):
at that house and they wanted to be dropped from
that chapter.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
They should have been dropped from recruitment.
Speaker 8 (25:33):
I think they ended up being dropped from recruitment because
it was crazy. Yeah, that's insane, And at least at
my school, the chapters do work really hard to eliminate
p and ms like that. Uh, so you can get
(25:54):
I guess blacklisted from a lot of chapters for displaying
that kind of behavior negative comments towards other chapters. It
can affect you in the recruitment process for sure, So
you do have to be careful obviously, but it is
really hard to get caught for throwing rounds.
Speaker 7 (26:12):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Well, Jane, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Thanks for telling us your story, and I hope that
you kind of shed light on this so future p
and ms know to go into recruitment with an open
mind and really give everyone.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Their best efforts.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Thank you guys, Thank you, Hey Leslie, and welcome to
Dirty Rush.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
So was it dead fishing.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Or throwing around a thing at your university?
Speaker 3 (26:57):
Do you know what I'm talking?
Speaker 9 (27:00):
I don't think we called it dead fishing, but they're
definitely like, I know what throwing around is, and that
was definitely like talked about, but it was never called
dead fishing, so.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
You get the concept, yeah, of what it is.
Speaker 1 (27:17):
Okay, So what was your experience?
Speaker 9 (27:20):
So I would say I didn't intentionally throw around like
that wasn't.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
My goal, but I was so.
Speaker 9 (27:30):
My freshman year, I was on the dance team at
my school. So I was already stressed because I knew
my teammates were going to be like on the other
side of things, and even though they're I was supposed
to talk to you, they were like always in my ear,
like what we think of this?
Speaker 8 (27:44):
We think of that.
Speaker 9 (27:45):
So I was already stressed out. And then I'd given
my ro gamma whatever it's called, all of the dates
or like the times I couldn't do. So I told
them like during round two, I have a performance, like
I can't make this time. And it was on Zoom
because it was during twenty twenty one one. So I
had told them like, I can't do this time. I
get my schedule back that morning and in the middle
(28:06):
of the performance is my round scheduled? And I was like, okay,
well there's I was too scared to go to Panalytic
and be like, okay, well I can't make this work.
I knew if I missed it that I was going
to hold like I'd heard rumors like oh you could
get dropped like whatever. So it's like what can I do?
So I go out for the performance and it was
(28:27):
like this like neat, like introducing the athletes to the
student body something like really random, and I'm like, thinking
my brain. I can like here the chancewers are giving
a speech, and I'm like thinking my brain. I'm like,
I'm supposed to be online in one minute. Im supost
bee on line in one minute. So as soon as
the chancer's like, okay, we're going to introduce like another
student group, I run off the court and I immediately
(28:50):
go and I grab my laptop. I'm still in my uniform.
I'm sweating, and I run into the bathroom that we
had like in the area. I have my ear pods
in and I'm like, hello, I can't you hear me?
Because I didn't. I knew I was zosy on zoom anyways,
like we were gonna go back out at some point,
and I knew I had, like I don't know, maybe
two minutes before I would have to be back out,
(29:12):
and so I started talking to this girl and then
at some point I just cut it off and I
was like just gonna like because there was nothing else
I could do. I could hear my director being like
everybody needs to come back out. Everybody needs to come
back out. So I was just like and I could
barely hear. Anyways, I'm whispering. She's like, so, what's your major?
And she was very quiet too. Also, it wasn't a
(29:33):
house that I was super excited about the first day too.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask if it was
a house that you wanted.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
I mean, you were also a part of the dance team.
You had a very big commitment. If you miss the dance,
you would have probably gotten penalized or kicked off the team.
You were a freshman, like you were also in a
very interesting situation. You did show the effort to getting
on the Zoom poll.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
It wasn't like you were I feel like, if anything,
they'd be like, oh my gosh, like.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Yeah, Like, it's not like you were being completely selfish
and you know, disregarded the entire rush process. You did
make the effort to go on the Zoom, which I
would have been stressed to even do that.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I don't even know how you did that.
Speaker 9 (30:15):
But I know, but I was hoping at least since
I did, like I technically didn't miss around, I was like,
maybe you would be okay, Yeah they did still log on,
but so that was I guess me texted, did she.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Know that like things got messed up with your schedule,
Like did you at least explain that part?
Speaker 9 (30:34):
So this signal was so bad. I like don't even
think she could understand what I was saying. She did,
I like think that she realized I was in a stall.
I think she realized that I was legitimately like in
a bathroom stall before. And I was like, yeah, like
I'm sorry, like I'm kind of in the middle of things,
and she.
Speaker 4 (30:50):
Was like what, like I couldn't even like son.
Speaker 8 (30:55):
And like this.
Speaker 9 (30:55):
Also wasn't a chapter that like a lot of chapters
have girls and dance team, this was not. Once she
was definitely like, who is this like cheerleader girl like
talking to me on zoom in her uniform too. She
probably thought it was like just pulling up in my
uniform and pull up my uniform. But so he didn't
intentionally throw around technically, but I did, I guess technically
(31:17):
misrun and I'm not I didn't end up in that chapter,
but that was my.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Soy they dropped you after that, they did?
Speaker 9 (31:26):
They dropped.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
I mean, honestly, I'm not mad at this. I'm really not.
I feel like you tried your bed and this is a.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Very unique situation that like doesn't happen every day.
Speaker 9 (31:41):
But I definitely did feel bad because I didn't even
like remember her name or I was like, should I
have reached out her? But I was like, it's probably fine.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Things have happened. Things were you know, chaotic. Yeah, you
were you know, going on you you were dancing at
a welling. Yeah, well.
Speaker 9 (32:03):
Yeah, so I like I knew which houses obviously I
was more excited about. And I think there is definitely
the vibe at school was like, okay, well, if you're
seeing ten houses in a day and like your social
battery only has you know so much. I think there's
definitely houses that, especially as the rounds got later, you
kind of knew. But I would say that was the
only time it was like for me personally, but I did.
(32:25):
I do definitely know people that were like, well, I'm
going into X, Y and Z, like so at least
I don't have to be super on or you know.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Thinking yeah, yeah, I mean you seem like a very
sweet girl, so I you know, I think the efforts
were there, and again, very unique situation, very unique scenario.
So honestly, everything happens for a reason. You got booked
during that time when you were supposed to be dancing,
so maybe that serati you know, wasn't supposed to be
(32:55):
for you. So well, you know, I don't think you
were intentionally trying to be rude, So I know, obviously
some people can have that attitude and think that they're
better than certain sororities, but you know, I think it's
good to go into every round really just showing your
best efforts because you are, at the end of the day,
(33:16):
representing yourself, so you want people to you know, have
a good image and view on you and just think,
you know, show your best self. And at the end
of the day, if you got all the houses back
and you were the one eliminating them, allie take it
as a compliment at the end of the day, you.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Know, totally.
Speaker 9 (33:35):
Yeah, No, I definitely agree. And also especially I don't
know if this keys at other schools, but at UCLA
for sure, everyone's friends with everyone, Like my roommates weren't
different supporties than me, Like you know, it wasn't like
so we could have easily gotten back to them like
other people like oh so and so like was very
clear like didn't want to be there, like you know whatever.
(33:56):
So that's was something I think people need to know
before they like enter Rush, Like if you think you're
throwing one house, like you could be throwing five houses.
Like they could go home and be like tell their roommates.
This girl was so rude, like, oh.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
Yeah, well, even think about your pie caps.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I don't know if you called them roueow. I called
them pie caps. But they all, you know, as they're
all guiding you guys, bringing you to open houses, bringing
you to every rounds. But then they're all coming together
at the end, and each one of them are from
different sororities so they.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
Could all talk too.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
So totally, but Leslie, thank you so much for coming
on Dirty Rush, and I am happy you ended up
where you belonged.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Good hustle. I saw the hustle.
Hosts And Creators
Teddi Mellencamp
Tamra Judge
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.