April 30, 2025 • 48 mins
Teddi and Dolores are diving into The Valley and we’re starting off with the hardest game of “Would You Rather”…
Then, find out who’s Team Michelle & Team Jesse this season!
Plus, Nia’s dying to have another baby but we’re concerned about the state of her marriage! Teddi’s predictions aren’t looking too bright…
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Two Teas in a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and camera Jeedge.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Two Teas in
a Pod with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and Dolores Catana. Hi
weld on. What are all these hearts and things in
the background? What's going on?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I my son just sent them to me because I
had a heart ablasion yesterday.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Oh my gosh, how are you feeling.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Like shit? How do you feel like shit? Okay, good,
we're together.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Feeling like shit, feeling like shit. Not as much shit
as probably Jax feels like. But I cannot even so.
I've never done a recap with Dolores before. This is
our first time together. We've done but no, it's not
our first time together.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We can we can talk some shit.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
We can really talk some shit. But before we even
get into that one, I'm thinking about you. I hope
that you feel better for those listeners that we have.
How did you know that you needed to go in
and get an ablazion?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So my heart was beating out of my chest. You know,
sometimes you feel like you have like a flutter. It
feels like a butterfly and it goes away. Well, it
started to come more frequent and more frequently, and then
I got a pain from the middle of my chest
to my shoulder when I was driving one day, and
I was like, that's not right. So anyway, it wouldn't
(01:28):
go away, and I decided to go to a cardiologist
and he said, you're an aphib So aphib is a
real fibrillation or however you say, and you know you're
a walking stroke. You can have a stroke. So so
many people just ignore that. So I'm telling everybody, if
you get those flutters in your chest, go see a doctor.
So then yesterday I had to go to the hospital
(01:50):
and they went through my groin which is really sorroid,
and into my heart and they kind of shock your
heart and quarterize.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It and then they're like, wake up, heart, we're doing
it this way. Yeah, is that what it is? Okay?
But you feel okay? And is there any recovery to it?
Let's just take it easy.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Take it easy for like a week. But yeah, but
you know, like yourself, okay, I'm not I'm no teddy mallincamp.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh my god, stop. I cursed you out.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Like you had just gone home and you're at the
fucking gym on the treadmill, sweating it out, and I'm like, fuck,
I gotta go to the gym. Like look at her,
and I'm like, up twenty pounds, okay.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Me to me too. Steroids are not my friend. So
all the dudes that take steroids, I can't even tell
you how you function in life because it made me
so like grumpy and agitated and gain weight, like in
places I would never want to gain weight.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I did swear at you when I was walking into
the gym because I fucking hate it. I hate going
to the gym.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
You were there because well, good good. Because I say
to my friend that always bitches about going to the gym,
but she's like, has a like a training goal coming up.
I'm like, listen, do you know what I would do
to be able to walk into the gym every day
and be able to work out and something that I
wanted to also kind of talk about. When you know,
(03:19):
everybody's like, oh, Teddy, you're so strong, you're this you
and now you didn't wear a wig. You looked like
you just are so fierce. I want to say, like
there's good days and there's bad days, and like we
really have to and I'm sure the same went with
you when you were deciding to go get your heart checked, like, yeah,
(03:43):
that night was a good night. I felt like absolute
donkey the next day like so a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
And then and then it catches up to you the
next day like you feel good, right, yeah, and then
the next day you pay for it.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, And I think that's something that's okay. It's okay
to be able to you know, everyone thinks that you're
gonna get sick or you're gonna have a procedure and
then everything stops. But then we don't talk about the
mental health aspect, where like then depression will sink in
you feel like the normal. Yeah. Yeah, So I think
that that happens no matter what you're grieving or what
(04:17):
kind of pain you're in, whether it's physical pain or
in this case, whatever Jack's is going through and Brittany
and all the shit shows, Like I mean, it is
a freaking shit show. So the first question that I
have as we get into the valley is would you
rather who? Would you rather? Jack's or Jesse?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Oh? Jack, I mean I I you know, he's just
a bigger guy, but you know, neither one.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
To be honest, you have to pick you know how
it's Jack's.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Is it like? Is it aesthetically or Es is not
a bad looking guy?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Okay, so we're gonna do is one is who would
you rather have sex with? And two? Who would you
rather be married to?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
How can I have to? What are you asking me
to pick shit for?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Because sometimes we pick shit sometimes this is reality.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So you're gonna I am only doing this because it's
you that are not even going to give you this answer.
You're gonna get me today, aren't you? You fuck her?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yes, obviously, you know you're lucky. I miss you good.
This is you know you really lean I really lean
into it. People are liking me right now. I'm like,
oh now, helly, I always liked you.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You know that? Who would I rather be married to?
Definitely Jesse. I can handle Jesse. Jacks is a cracked egg.
You cannot handle that guy. You cannot reason with that guy.
He's a fucking disaster.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
But you want to bone down with him, Well that's
just like a bone.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But Jesse, Jesse I can handle like as a man
because I'm probably more of a man than him that
I could probably like manhandle him.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I almost just split up my soda, which, by the way,
I didn't drink SODA's until after I was in the hospital.
Now it's like a pound diet. Cox uh dicted. Well,
I think you know, we weren't able to go into
some of the past episodes, but you know, we'll just
we'll talk about episode three right now. It starts out
Janet's husband Jason, comes over to Britney's house. Jason helped
(06:27):
drive jacks to rehab and get checked in. He says,
Jackson is having a hard time separating being mad at
Brittany from getting help from for himself. So this is
the part that I find a little bit odd. Why
be mad at Britney when you're trying to get help
for yourself at this point, when you're trying to get help,
get help.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Well, I can tell you because he's not humbled yet, Okay, because.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I haven't hit rock bottom.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
No, I have dealt with addiction in my family. And
on the way to bring in that person to rehab,
I was gonna punch her in the face because I said.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
You're not here. She was cocky. She was cocky, and
we brought her.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
There and she was on the phone and I said,
you didn't come here to have fun. So when you
unless you're going there loathing and hating yourself, he is
not starting off on the right foot.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
You need to hit rock bottom. I agree with you,
and especially the other day. I don't know all the
backstory to this, but he was recently on an Instagram
live and who knows what he was talking about because
I only saw a screen grab, but he was on
Instagram Live. And then you see his publicist, the one
he was allegedly having an affair with, say, get off
(07:43):
the live. Ooh wait is he still? How's he doing that?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
From rehab?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
You need to.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Be humboldt however that is, and that's people places things.
You strip yourself from everything and break yourself down and
then you come up to being a person from scratch.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
But I also don't think he wants to be sober.
He may not want to get to the where he's
blowing lines and breaking his furniture. But I don't think
he's interested in sobriety, I think, and I do. Do
you think he's interested in not hooking up with chicks anymore?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Well, I think that's me, not of his addiction, right,
So it's all about discipline and getting rid of that
whole past life like you have to you can never
be around it again. You can't even take a sip
of a beer. It's over. It is over.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
It's all or nothing, right, Yes, And especially that's what
he's confusing here in California because there's all this California
sober discussion where it's like, well, I'm not doing coke anymore,
but I can still drink alcohol. No, But I that
if you're drinking alcohol, the next step is I'm going
to be drunk and I'm gonna want coke.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
If I'm a trigger at it, well it's a trigger, right, yeah,
So you start that and that's and.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I'm not saying that that doesn't that makes him a
terrible person. I'm just saying that may mean he's not
ready and he's doing and he keeps saying, I'm doing
it for my son, but then do it, well, I'm
doing yourself too. Well.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I mean, I I believe in doing things for your kids,
like I believe in finding the strength to do something
in your love for your children. It has gotten me
from the depths of how like having to be strong
for the people I love. Like that'll do it, Patty,
And you know, that I know, you know who knows
better than you. You know, you fight every day and
(09:45):
he has to want it now.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
But he has to want it and he has to
also know that life not doing it is going to
be significantly better than the life he's living right now.
And I don't think he believes that.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Well, you have to have something to work with, so
I could. I haven't been able to sleep. And I
happen to turn on Bravo the other day and what
was on but their wedding.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Oh I never saw that.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
I saw their wedding. It just it was on, and
it was so weird to watch everybody so young. And
you see those memes on Instagram, like you know they
say like, oh, twenty minutes from now, she didn't know
she'd hear the worst news of her life, like it's somebody.
And I was like thinking with each person like Arianna
and Tom, like oh, you know, five years from now,
(10:34):
she will know that he's going to be sleeping with
Raquel who's in the room next to them, or you know,
or Sheen is going to be married with the kid
and what was it?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Lala Kent was Lala was there with no neck?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
What's his name?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Randall. But he couldn't be filmed. I mean, I can't
even remember, but.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah he was filmed.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Oh yeah, he was there.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
She was like crying when she was when Brittany was
dancing with her father, so.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Like, he reminds me of the guy from ninety Day Fiance,
Big Gud big big as brow.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
No, Randall, don't come from me. I'm sorry, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
So you're not kidding. You're so full of shit. You're
not kidding. You just don't want him to come for
you because he's kind of scary. We don't need to
fight people, not on TV anymore. We'll stick to people
solely on television. Okay, but do you think that Brittany
is in the wrong at all for any of this stuff?
I know you're as you're watching the wedding, Like you
don't think that she knew this ship was coming. He
(11:32):
cheated on her, like a bajillion times.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
He cheated on her. He got, he drank, he did.
She was in love, young and dumb. She was in love.
I've I don't judge anybody for that. Doesn't make it
Just because she's at it doesn't make it okay for
him to keep doing it. Right, you know what I mean, Like,
(11:55):
don't fucking rhyn the girl into the ground. She's crazy
about you. But I always look at people where they
how they grew up their relationship and things were affected
by our childhoods as you know.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
So there was a part of me.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
That felt I have I do feel bad for Jacks
because I know I don't think he ever really had
a chance. He's not close with his family. He brought
he brought the father's ashes to the wedding, and that's
the only family he had there. Yeah, his mom, like
his sister was there, but they don't really talk. Now,
Like I looked into all this you got me crazy
(12:31):
with this podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
That you got it it makes you psycho and also
you have psycho. You don't really know this because people
don't significantly hate you to like another level. But like
theirs was probably like six years where I was so
hated online and it really kind of started like getting
to me mentally.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
If you don't look, though, there's no such.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Thing as not looking when you work in the business
and you keep doing it like it's there's no such thing.
People don't let it bother you, let it let's you.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Let it buy But if you don't look it, don't say.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
But also, how do you think Jax could not look like?
I think he's Also every time he funks up, he's
hated even more. And so like sometimes when you're really hated,
you go double down and you do it roundable. He's
not affected, Teddy, I's not affected. I don't think he
realizes he's an asshole. No, you're well, you're right, like
(13:27):
you were on Traders with him, Like do you think
he is arranging narcissist allegedly?
Speaker 1 (13:31):
No, no, he listen. Tom was like a puppy that
shits on the floor and then he gets hit. He
doesn't know why he why does everyone hate me? I
just said it on the floor. But he's like, I'm
the most hated man. I cannot be a trader, Like
(13:52):
the whole world hates me. But it didn't bathe him.
It didn't Teddy, it didn't like penetrate and.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Where I feel Jacks would lean into it and be
like I want to be the trader. I want to
do this like I want to be the biggest asshole.
But either way we get through this. It's broken. He's broken.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You can't fix that. There's a thing I saw on
Instagram one time, be careful picking up broken glass, like
shard glass because you cut yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah, so I think they both kind of know, but
at this time we're probably like eight years and ten
years and twelve years and who knows into their relationship.
Then Janet and Michelle, which honestly, Michelle could push me
right over the edge every single time that she comes
on the screen. I'm like, I know that I was
notoriously boring, but I'm like, listen here, I'm in recovery
(14:43):
and I don't need to watch you. I'm tired. And
then she comes on and I'm like, I need freaking
whatever it's called toothpicks to hold my eyelids open. She
starts to talk and I'm like, no, yeah, I cat
she is where my joy goes to die. I mean like.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
She was crying. I mean she was crying the other
day because I know we have to get but we
have to get to that before. I'm sorry, I'm just so.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I know, we're so excited, but then we get the war.
The other thing is they're talking about the rehab thing.
Then Kristen and Luke come to the house, and then
Luke as if he wasn't enough already becomes completely unfuckable
because he outs the boy group. I'm sorry, is.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
That a boy group or a circle jerk? It's like
a big fucking lank fest on that. Oh, they think
they're so cool that they have this like group text.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Like join the fucking club. We all have group texts
and nothing stay inside.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Saw the group text between me and my friends, the pictures,
the memes that go up.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
But if my group text with Tamra, if one of
the additional people who I'm not going to say because
I don't want them to get DMS was then sharing
it on television, I would be freaking furious. I mean,
I know you guys are saying Danny brought it up
on camera first, but to me it came out as
(16:18):
as what's his name? As Luke telling it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I'm blaming Danny. He knows he's no amateur. He's not
an amateur. He knows what he was doing. What was
he thinking? Did he get bottle brain? Diaper brain? You
had a house with the three kids under three? Three kids,
I have three kids under three, And I'm.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Like, and how much are you doing it? At this point?
And like, listen, do you live in Valencia yet or not,
because I don't want to hear about it unless you are.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I don't know where Valencia is, but I can tell
you that he's in the house too much.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I can tell you that he needs to be out
doing more things if he's reading through the Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Santa she finally, she finally folded and went there. He
wanted to go there and then whatever, but anyway, boychat, boychat,
So he tells this dweeb. Yeah, first of all, if
they think if some guy was a rat like that
in New Jersey, oh boy, you that's what I'm saying, Teddy,
(17:18):
listen to me. If that happened here, Oh my god, it's.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
No Santa Clarita there in Jersey. No, you get your
ass kicked. That is.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
That is.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
But I think both of them would get their ass kicked.
They were both they would both get when. I think
Luke was upset that he didn't wasn't on the group chat,
and that's why he shared it. And then I think
that did.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
He say he shared it? Did he ever say why
you shared it? Luke?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
How quickly you went from hating the La Drama last
season to be the bone collector this season. I love
how this this is already written bone collector, Like Kristin
has definitely taught him.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Well, so listen, you know, let's go back to the wedding.
They say Kristin has like a golden vagina. She breaks
one heart after another. Well, Lalla was like, because at
the wedding there was some guy crying to her with
a beard.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Oh yeah, he turned out to be an asshole too.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yeah, so she was like, she was like breaking his
little heart at the wedding and he came to the
wedding to be with her and she was ignoring him.
She was just annoyed he was there. So then lalas like,
look at him crying in the corners. She's got like
a golden vagina. This is what she does to these guys.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And I want to be clear, I love Kristin. Like
I think Kristen's a necessity on the show. In person,
She's really cool and nice. Where some of these people
I've met in person and I'm like, I could do
or do without you like being around me. I like Kristin.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
You know what I know about Kristin that Arianna called
her when Tom stabbed when Tom did to her, like
she broke up Tom and Arianna broke up.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Kristen and Tom correct Arianna. Yeah. And then when Tom
broke up with see what the fuck you got me
going on here? Yeah, and went down We're deep down
the rabbit hole. We have to stay for.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Arihanna was just sweet. It was just a At Kristen's
baby shower, Arianna went to Kristen and Kristen embraced her
when Tom broke her heart. That's why when you're saying
you like Kristin, I'm saying that said about.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Kristen because people keep going back to her, so people
want to talk about her on the show. But either way,
then we get into this conversation where Michelle. Was Michelle
seeing Aaron last summer or was it just happening? You know, like,
I think.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
They were seeing each other, and I don't give a fuck.
He wasn't nice to her, He treated her, He was arrogant.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So Jesse was Jesse.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Was mean to her from what she says now, I'm
just getting new to.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
We believe her. Yeah, I mean, I don't think Jesse
is a great guy, but I also think that Michelle
knows exactly how to push buttons. But either way, there.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Say they were not compatibible, that is. And anyway, I
hope the honey guy was worth it because now he
hates her. She don't care that he hates her.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Oh my god. Then Jesse says, Michelle admits to cheating
on him. If it wasn't with Airy, admitted it.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
I didn't see that.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yes, this is at the beginning. Jesse says that she
admitted it. This happened last year, after the season. But
then if it wasn't with Aaron, then she cheated twice.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Just now, I think she's lying. I think she cheated
with Aaron, but she tried to cover up because Erin's
in the picture now, so she just wanted to admit
to it, but not to her daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Saying I love you to Aarin on last week's episode
or two weeks episode ago, showed me that he's been
in the life for a pretty long time. Yeah. I mean,
I don't know any men my kids would say I
love you too, other than their dad. Well, after two
months of dating like that seems Banana Tree.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Here's the thing, Banana Trees, Jesse's a good dad. Jesse
seems like a good dad. He seems very attentive to her.
The baby but then she was saying he doesn't pay
child support.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
That actually shocked me. But also I think Kristin and
Jesse using each other to create chaos is a little
bit of like what I needed on this show. Oh listen,
it was.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
We needed predictable, and you know what, they're thick as thieves,
those two.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
They are because they know you know what they need us.
Then yeah, and Kristin go to a fertility acupuncturist. Kristin
and Luke are still trying to get pregnant. They had
pregnancy loss last year. Nia says she got pregnant after
two months of fertility acupuncture. Nia wanting to have more
babies while still being in the apartment is absurd. Like
(22:17):
if I was the acupuncturist, I'd be like, no.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
She should just slow down for a minute and you
put for her body's sake, it's a lot on your body.
She had twins and she had like I think.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
She's concerned on once. She I think she's very and
I have been this way too, so I understand. I
think she wants to have all the kids she wants
to have right away so that she can get in
the best shape of her life and blah blah blah.
But I think what happens then is sometimes we mistake,
and I am at fault of this, we mistake some
of our sadness or unhappiness as exult austion when we
(23:01):
have little kids versus I need to deal with some
other things in my life, which I think is going
to play out throughout the rest of the season.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Well, that's very telling. But see, it's been so long
since I've had little ones. You still have little ones.
It's been so long that I don't remember any of that.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, So for me, like we you know, we got
to a point where racing from activity A to activity
mommy and me, this the blah blah blah blah blah,
And you're so booked up that at the end of
the night, when sometimes you're emotionally, you're like, well, I
did do sixty five million things today, So maybe that's why,
or maybe I did sixty five million things today because
I didn't want to address certain things that were going
(23:41):
on that I needed to handle. Well, I think that
is that that goes for.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Across the board in life. Yeah, Like I didn't stop
for probably twenty years, Teddy, Like I just went and
went and went and didn't sit down and w cluttered
my life with nonsensical busyness and too many people. And
it's only recent that I did calm down and stop that.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Well, you didn't have a choice. Your show's no longer
being filmed.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
That's true. Actually, yeah, I'm fired.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
But then we get back to the group chat, the
boys chat, and Jack's Jax, this was your first mistake.
Do not organize a group chat of I have four
people in my group chat and it annoys me, and
I have like twenty group chats. But Jack's organized a
group chat of twenty guys where they have locker room
This is not term I nor I knew or could use,
(24:43):
but locker room chat. And Jesse asked the chat how
Michelle is affording her place when she hasn't made commission
in two years. Then he says he has evidence that
she's sleeping with a billionaire for fifteen hundred dollars a night.
Who is it? This is my phone number.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I was just gonna say, listen, she should it's for
the full night? Is at fifteen hundreds? She should get more?
Does she have to stay all night?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I mean we get more for a paid post on
the story saying that's a twenty secondaryis you got it
up your game?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
I mean, do you just let him look at it?
Do you have to do something for that? I mean,
I want to understand going very far.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
But my guess is that when when Jesse was sending
these kind of text messages that then Daniel then brought
to Luke is maybe when he was still in the
drinking some nights and then he would just be shit talking.
You know, some people should talk and they don't actually
mean what they're saying.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Listen, how many.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Times you really care? If?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
But huh do you?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
I don't think he really thinks that she's been sleeping
with a billionaire for fifteen hundred dollars a night.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Well, if so, he hates her so fucking much, he's
going to bring it out. So I thought when she so,
Now they're at Dave and Busters and Brittany tells.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Her also, would you want your adult birthday at Dave
and Busters?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
That was like not for me. But before we even
get Dave and Busters, they were talking about how they
think that Danny can't handle his alcohol. Listen, we need
people that can handle their alcohol but also still be
inappropriate on this show. So we got to figure out
a happy medium.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
But Danny's been in some trouble. While he's drinking, he
gets a.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Little handsy, a little handsy.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Surprised. I was very surprised to hear that.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
I know he goes to the church. I go to Danny.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Danny drink from the well at the church. You better
be good. Go to confession, Danny, and you're.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
With like the most beautiful this is. This goes to
show that if you're gonna be handsy and do inappropriate things,
it doesn't matter how beautiful your significant other is. You're
just that's maybe who you are or who you're natty.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
My friend's husband used to cheat on her with a
four hundred pounds woman with no teeth, and she would
wear the velvet though I mean no three She had
like three strands of hair roll messy and no teeth
summer teeth and she was four hundred pounds.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, I mean he loved her.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
He cheated, He left my friend for her.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
But also I want to see the scene where I
like Alex Baskin, let us know. I want to see
the scene because they have the actual footage of Jasmine
and her girlfriend confronting Danny, but they only showed us
a flashback of that.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Now, did Jasmine and her girlfriend confront Danny because he
was inappropriate with Jasmine as well?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
So what we found out on the after show regarding
this whole Danny being touchy feely, which I'm not sure
this story helps Danny at all, but it's that Jasmine
brought up him being touchy feely with her on camera
because he hadn't apologized to Jasmine's girlfriend. But the problem
(28:08):
was Danny thought he was handsy with Michelle.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
He was that drunk, He was that drunk, he.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Didn't even know who's handsy.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
No, I get it now, I was so confused, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yeah, so apparently he doesn't know who he was handsy with.
But of course then that means he's going to share
text messages that he like. Take Danny off the group
chat if you don't want it shared because he's loose
lips drunk?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Or was he drunk when he was watching the kids
and he was on the couch and he told the vagina.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
No, I hope not.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Was he I mean he knew what he was doing then.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I don't know. My guess is Danny potentially really wants
to be on this show, and he doesn't know how
to like call. He just says stuff that's unnecessary. Yeah,
I know, but then those are the one.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
You got to watch out for, Teddy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
But then Janet decides she wants to throw her birthday
party at Dave and Buster's by the way in Northridge.
Been there, had a child's birthday there, Like, I don't know, adult, David,
it doesn't matter if you're in LA. You do know,
and you know that. I'm confused which adult wants to
have a Dave? Do you want a Dave and Buster's birthday? No?
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And I don't want to go there for a kid,
even which I don't want to go anywhere near there.
I done with those things. I've been done with those
things for over twenty years.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Also was like, why did she have to carry two
beers at one time? Drink all the beers you want?
It's your birthday. We haven't seen you be like loose lips, Danny,
But why do you need to hold two Like there's
a million people to get your drink around, Honny?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
You know all I could think of when I was
watching that whole thing. I spend thirty thousand dollars on
a finale party here. Okay, I hired actors, I got
whiskey flowed people flown in from Ireland. I had Irish flowers.
They don't even I.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Don't even remember seeing any of this, So that's what
I remember, you just sitting at the table.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I had my my garage turned into a casino with
our faces on coins that they never showed. And then
I had like Irish cooks make it, you know, when
we did like.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
The fighter, everybody fighting in this.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
In this room right here.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
But that's the only thing I remember is that room.
So you could have just done that and removed the heart.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And I'm thinking to myself, Dave and Busters and Beer,
it's the fuck out of here, the fuck and we're canceled.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, yeah, no, because this shows that this show is
not about the lifestyle. It's about the drama. And but okay,
she has the party. Then she's kind of bossy about
the Dave and Bosters and listen, I'm a bossy person,
so I get it. But like she wants everybody else
to Dave and Buster the way she Dave and Busters,
(30:58):
and I'm like, well.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
There's a pro and she went over it first. You
come in.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
First, she goes to the present room where.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
You can get your ticket.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Now, hold on, first, you must wear.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
And a fanny pack, which I was like, that's gonna be.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
A pain if you have to be you have to
pull it to the side, or you have to decide
if you're gonna take a fanny one.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I hope I don't get invited to Brabo Khon and
I meet none of these people. I've never had beef
with anybody before until you fucking pulled me into this.
I just can't help myself, I know.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
But like also, like this isn't a kids party. Why
are you in rompers and fanny packs? I own all
these things, but I make a choice when to wear them.
And the choice is not one double fister.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
What else would you wear there?
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Jammies? This what I have on?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Listen? She was go ahead, I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
But then but then, as if there's not enough going
on with figuring out what their goals were, which was
to get enough fucking tickets one to win something you
could probably buy for four bucks, uh, Brittany tells Michelle
what Jesse has been saying about her. They bring Daniel
over to ask what Jesse was saying, and he ship himself.
He did, I actually diaper Ambassador's that day your wife.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Battered diaper bag because the trail is ship.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
He's like, He's like, well he could tell. He's like
looking in the side of his eye.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
And that's the first that she hears. You could like.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
His wife looks at him like you.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Fuck.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Nia is like, I will honestly remove your ballsack tonight.
Just get away. He's like, well, you said it. She's no.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
She goes, well, you said it, you said it, you
said it on camera or you you know, you said it,
so you know it has to be and.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
You know she probably said that. You know, she probably
was like, you came, fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Well she said it. He didn't tell her.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
He didn't, no, because he doesn't remember. Dolores, Why was
he drying? I don't know. Were you having a double
fist of beers?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I'm sharing?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
But then Michelle, the amount of Michelle crying over this,
I thought she.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Was gonna laugh. See, she treated it all wrong. She
should have started laughing.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
She's a night or.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Honey, I get way more than that punkin. I would
have had so much fun with that. But like it
was a delayed reaction cry like it was almost a
fake cry.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Honestly, do you think she went and did this with
some soap in her eyes.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
To get there? Like it was so delayed? Number One,
she wasn't like really surprised and she just started. But
but then she went off on him and she was like,
this is where we started to talk talk about. She's like,
well he doesn't pay child support.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Oh, then we finally get to the goods we need
to know. But I know the seal, but he did
break the seal. But I also don't know if I
believe her that he doesn't. This is a problem. I
know Jesse and you guys are gonna say Tanny's biased,
and yes I am biased, but like I think about
the two people i'd rather hang out. If I was
(34:23):
in a room with Jesse and I was in a
room with Michelle, I would gravitate towards Jesse, not because
I'm a host beast, but because he seems like more fun. Okay,
all right, So might be I'm biased, but I don't
know that I believe because she originally made it out
like he had her move out of the place, but no,
she had already done that. That wasn't a decision Jesse
(34:44):
made like they could. A lot of what we're hearing
is double sided from both things. Yeah, so it's it's
very tumultuous.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
They are. They fucking hate each other.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
They hate each other. They eight and she should have
just made a joke about it. And then I wish she.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Should have laughed. But but how could she come out
and say he's not being her if he really isn't?
Because who's gonna check?
Speaker 2 (35:12):
What are we gonna do? Am I gonna zip over
to the oh courthouse after this and check? Oh? Gry
the fans will do it? Not you? Someone let us know,
because I'm believing Jesse. But maybe he's not paying child's
work because they're not that part of court. Are they
fully divorced?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
No, they're not divorced yet.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Well that's why there's nothing set in stone. I doubt
they went to a mediation.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
But there's something called pendelighte where he has to give
her money to live. There has to be Oh, not
in California.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Not in California. You might even be in like one
of those fault states. Like I don't even know what
Jersey does, but like out and like.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
No, it's it's no fault like who knows, but we don't.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
I don't as far as I know. You keep everything
the same. So if they had separate finances, then it
would stay as separate finances until they complete either their
mediation or their court.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Well, you know, here's the other thing, like when they
see so if she has no money, is she banging
somebody for money? Because I don't know they're I don't know.
I don't know if the honey guy is the honey
guy fitting the bill, if the honey's expensive, I have more.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Hair on the front of my head than the honey guy.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
No wait, listen, Michelle, I have no problem with anything
you do.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
God bless I'm Delores Is coming over after this and
we're gonna start my only fan so I can just
start bringing.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Nothing wrong with that, Michelle. Don't let anybody shame you
for how you make a living ever, And I'm not
saying that you do in any way.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
But maybe you know her boyfriend's giving her money.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Do they live together?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
No? Or they live together? They live together? The daughter says,
I love you. Who knows, but I think after court maybe.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
He's paying the fucking bill.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
Duh, duh. But either way, Jesse is saying he was
making a joke on the boy's chat. That shouldn't sound
like a joke when you say when you follow it
with I have proof. Oh, as she SIPs the's spind drift,
(37:33):
the fact that I just remember the word spind drift,
but like I forget.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
No listen, it should have never been repeated. How about
that you shouldn't have said it in the group chat, Jesse.
It's still the mother of your kids. And if you're
not paying the bills, why do you care? As long
as they're getting paid. That's number one. Number two, it
shouldn't have been repeated.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
It shouldn't repeat And also number three, if we are
going to keep this group chat working, please add me in, Dolores,
because we'd like to be in on the crumbs.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Yeah, we'll teach you how to be men.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Oh my gosh. So then, as if Michelle couldn't bug
me more, now she's decided as a second seasoner to
go around and try and do a poll with some
like lifetimers to kick Jessee out of the house that he's.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Betting for for just don't go or or stay at
the hotel he invited her there. What about when Kristen says, listen,
if she's making some money on the side, she can
afford her own hotel room.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
There's also did she really think she's that close with everybody?
I guarantee she's one of those people that the second
they're done filming, she's not like besties with every single
woman on that show.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Do you think Teddy I think that she was put
up to that.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Well, I know that that is very forbidden in the
world of housewives. Maybe not for the Valley, but we
do have the same producer. They never want to have
to deal with filming at two different locations. So unless
she ends up agreeing to it, and she said, you're right,
you're so hyped, never want that. But meanwhile, you know, Jasmine, Kristin,
(39:23):
and Ea think it's weird since Jesse is renting the house.
They don't want him to be I love that that's
the word banished. I'm like, are we on traders? But
then Brittany and Janet vote for Jesse to stay in
the hotel. They were so excited to win their prize.
I don't think they were focusing on what the hell
Michelle was saying. I want to just tune Michelle out too,
and she's like, yeah, sure, whatever, anyways, keep it.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Moving, No, because they were like mad about what he
had said, and Brittany's going through whatever Jax did to her.
So she's pro woman now, she's like old girl, I am,
I'm going to stick with the girls, you know.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
But then in the confessional, Michelle says Jesse is by
far worse than Jack's and that what she is going
through Jesse, Michelle said that Michelle says that worse than
Jack's and she's going through worse things than Brittany. I'm like,
I actually don't think so, because we just saw what
Brittany's going through and I don't like any of it.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
No, No, it's it's what Britney's been going through since
the day she.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Was with him, the day she let him in the
first time.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yes, he has dragged her through the mud. He has
dragged every woman on that show through the mud. And
you know, she wasn't going to change him and she
wasn't going to be any different. But she was in
it for the long haul and she stuck it out
and damn near fucking killed her. That will take a
toll on you.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
Do I think that Jesse is anal retentive and type
A and controlling. Probably I'm also all those things, so
I understand you recognize it, So I recognize the things.
Do I think he says shit he probably regrets and
unnecessary to say to the mother of his children. One
million press the truth.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I just don't think he likes her. I don't think
he ever liked her. I don't think they like each other.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
I don't know she ever liked him. I think the
problem is he's still he was still in love with her, and.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
I don't know he didn't treat her like that because
when she had the baby, he would not help her.
He never gave her compliments, he wasn't sweet to her,
and I just don't think that she's the woman for him.
Maybe another woman could bring that out, and I.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Don't think so. I think if you're like that, like
there are some like that, some guys like that that
like like let's trade off each night and I'll do
the nights and when you have it, and there's some
that aren't. And maybe he's not that way. But these
are conversations you should have with which granted I probably
didn't have the right conversation. So this is a PSA,
(41:58):
if you haven't had a kid and you're with somebody
and you're thinking about having kids, start having these conversations now,
like when we do have a child, are you going
to be one that's going to be going? Yeah, I
mean a lot. You know, it depends if somebody's old
school and not old school, what their situation is. But
I don't imagine she went into having kids thinking that
(42:19):
he was going to do half of.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
You're right, No, you're you're always very smart. As long
as I know you, you're very intuitive. But but I
think I don't well, I don't think you're an asshole.
So anyway, listen, whenever you want, like we're going to
talk about me, you'd call me and go. You know,
I got to talk about this, Delores.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
You know I got to talk about you riding the
fence saved.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
But you know, why is it that everyone else could
ride the fence Page? And Page is friends with that?
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Because Page is funnier than you, Erica. I'm not saying
she is.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Well, AKA, you don't know me.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I would never in one million years go ahead down
and Dolores. I only say these things to her because
I absolutely love her, and I know we have to
finish with this episode because we have more recaps to
do after this. But Delores is like one of the
real ones. I would say, when we go down into
the history of housewives, the people that you can actually trust,
(43:26):
Dolores is one of them. So even though we might
make little comments towards one another, you are actually one
of those people that I truly, truly trust in love.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
That's all I need. And I really you can make
fun of me all you want after that, because that's
all that matters.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
That's you know, that's all that matters. And I feel
the same, like, make fun of me all you want,
But as long as I know that, like deep down
you love me, I'm good. But we don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Well, I think with Michelle and Jesse, I just don't
see a compatibility there. I don't think he was nice
to her. I think she's crazy about the Honey guy
because he's so sweet to her, sweet like honey.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Do you think we'll ever learn Honey Guy's name? Because
I can't. You Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Only somebody put it
in the chat. That's why I know.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Okay, So Aaron, So look what happened at David Busters
when she goes running over to him. She's like, make
believe upset and and she has to break it to
him and then need to tell him that to tell him,
and then he said, She's like, yeah, he said, I'm
sleeping with some billionaire for money. Now it's somebody I'm with.
(44:37):
Their like who you're fucking lying? More like you fucking
probably right?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
But you've always been a slut.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
But what does honey guy do? You're stronger than that.
Don't let him bother you, sweetheart. No wonder why she's
crazy about him, like she's a fucking human.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
How dare he treat her like a human?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Don't wonder why she was putting her makeup on to
go to Running Canyon buy his honeybeef arm, No wonder.
I don't blame you, Michelle, team Michelle, Jesse. I like you,
but you don't belong together.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Listen, Jesse, but I sa also I want to clear.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Somethingy you can handle. Jesse.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I don't know that I need to be with another Jesse.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
You made me say who i'd be with him.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
I think I need I may need a honey guy.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
You need a different honey guy, but a different type
of guy, different, a different esthetic type more your type,
more my more my aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
But that but the problem is, I'm scared I would
walk all over that aesthetic and and you know, let
me that's me.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
You know what you would do? You know what honey
guy would do when you start to get like that,
he'd be like, ok No, he'd be like, Okay, if
you're having that kind of a day, it's okay, come back.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Take let's take.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Let's take. Yes, let me give you your space. This
is a pipe dream.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Well all right, Well, do you have any last questions
for me, Dolores before we close out this episode of.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Wait so so yeah, I do have a question for you.
As a matter of fact, who would you choose between Danny,
Jason or Luke Jason?
Speaker 2 (46:26):
One million percent? Why are we even talking about Jason
when I would choose Jason to bone and to marry.
Really he's a dupe. Also, I'm not coming for your man.
I don't want to have birthdays at the place like
But Jason, I think is the only doable option for
me really for either Why you're you're leaning towards Danny
(46:49):
and Luke? You don't it doesn't seem now I would.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Punch Danny right in his fucking face, because he would
have gotten me in trouble because he opens his big mouth.
Don't give me in trouble with my friend for your
big mouth, because that's what girls do. You're a girl now,
and I don't want to have three kids under three. No,
and you shouldn't have let me do that, So go away.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
And I give Luke a hard time, but I feel
like I don't really know Luke, and maybe Luke is
very nervous, so maybe Luke needs to be the one
pounding double fisters, so you.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Don't understand Luke. In the end might come through to
be like you don't.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Know, we don't know, we don't know you, Luke, he
doesn't have it.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
He doesn't have an iPhone, so he's good.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Oh my gosh, Jason doesn't have an iPhone. Maybe I
take back my original vote. I've always I can't be
with somebody that would ruin a group text or have
a green text. Well that's a big, pretty requisite.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
We'll we'll cross that bridge, Teddy.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But
thanks guys for tuning into another episode.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
So we slaughtered this thing.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
We crushed it. I mean, we love to give ourselves props.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
And on the heels of all of this, I want
to tell the whole cast, you guys did a great job.
You gave us a lot of content. Thank you, and
we really.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Do like you all, Oh, we really do. We love it,
We appreciate you. We're just recapping a show that you
guys actually may.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Just recapping it. We're just talking about what you did.
It's not like we made something up about you. Remember
that way you see us at.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Remember that when we when you want us all to
be hugging like this.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Let's hug.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Let's hug it out, hug it out, all right, guys,
Thanks for tuning in. Bye,
Two Teas in a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and camera Jeedge.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of Two Teas in
a Pod with myself, Teddy Mellencamp and Dolores Catana. Hi
weld on. What are all these hearts and things in
the background? What's going on?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I my son just sent them to me because I
had a heart ablasion yesterday.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Oh my gosh, how are you feeling.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Like shit? How do you feel like shit? Okay, good,
we're together.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Feeling like shit, feeling like shit. Not as much shit
as probably Jax feels like. But I cannot even so.
I've never done a recap with Dolores before. This is
our first time together. We've done but no, it's not
our first time together.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
We can we can talk some shit.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
We can really talk some shit. But before we even
get into that one, I'm thinking about you. I hope
that you feel better for those listeners that we have.
How did you know that you needed to go in
and get an ablazion?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
So my heart was beating out of my chest. You know,
sometimes you feel like you have like a flutter. It
feels like a butterfly and it goes away. Well, it
started to come more frequent and more frequently, and then
I got a pain from the middle of my chest
to my shoulder when I was driving one day, and
I was like, that's not right. So anyway, it wouldn't
(01:28):
go away, and I decided to go to a cardiologist
and he said, you're an aphib So aphib is a
real fibrillation or however you say, and you know you're
a walking stroke. You can have a stroke. So so
many people just ignore that. So I'm telling everybody, if
you get those flutters in your chest, go see a doctor.
So then yesterday I had to go to the hospital
(01:50):
and they went through my groin which is really sorroid,
and into my heart and they kind of shock your
heart and quarterize.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
It and then they're like, wake up, heart, we're doing
it this way. Yeah, is that what it is? Okay?
But you feel okay? And is there any recovery to it?
Let's just take it easy.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Take it easy for like a week. But yeah, but
you know, like yourself, okay, I'm not I'm no teddy mallincamp.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Oh my god, stop. I cursed you out.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
Like you had just gone home and you're at the
fucking gym on the treadmill, sweating it out, and I'm like, fuck,
I gotta go to the gym. Like look at her,
and I'm like, up twenty pounds, okay.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
Me to me too. Steroids are not my friend. So
all the dudes that take steroids, I can't even tell
you how you function in life because it made me
so like grumpy and agitated and gain weight, like in
places I would never want to gain weight.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
I did swear at you when I was walking into
the gym because I fucking hate it. I hate going
to the gym.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
You were there because well, good good. Because I say
to my friend that always bitches about going to the gym,
but she's like, has a like a training goal coming up.
I'm like, listen, do you know what I would do
to be able to walk into the gym every day
and be able to work out and something that I
wanted to also kind of talk about. When you know,
(03:19):
everybody's like, oh, Teddy, you're so strong, you're this you
and now you didn't wear a wig. You looked like
you just are so fierce. I want to say, like
there's good days and there's bad days, and like we
really have to and I'm sure the same went with
you when you were deciding to go get your heart checked, like, yeah,
(03:43):
that night was a good night. I felt like absolute
donkey the next day like so a lot.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
And then and then it catches up to you the
next day like you feel good, right, yeah, and then
the next day you pay for it.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, And I think that's something that's okay. It's okay
to be able to you know, everyone thinks that you're
gonna get sick or you're gonna have a procedure and
then everything stops. But then we don't talk about the
mental health aspect, where like then depression will sink in
you feel like the normal. Yeah. Yeah, So I think
that that happens no matter what you're grieving or what
(04:17):
kind of pain you're in, whether it's physical pain or
in this case, whatever Jack's is going through and Brittany
and all the shit shows, Like I mean, it is
a freaking shit show. So the first question that I
have as we get into the valley is would you
rather who? Would you rather? Jack's or Jesse?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Oh? Jack, I mean I I you know, he's just
a bigger guy, but you know, neither one.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
To be honest, you have to pick you know how
it's Jack's.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Is it like? Is it aesthetically or Es is not
a bad looking guy?
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Okay, so we're gonna do is one is who would
you rather have sex with? And two? Who would you
rather be married to?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
How can I have to? What are you asking me
to pick shit for?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Because sometimes we pick shit sometimes this is reality.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So you're gonna I am only doing this because it's
you that are not even going to give you this answer.
You're gonna get me today, aren't you? You fuck her?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
Yes, obviously, you know you're lucky. I miss you good.
This is you know you really lean I really lean
into it. People are liking me right now. I'm like,
oh now, helly, I always liked you.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
You know that? Who would I rather be married to?
Definitely Jesse. I can handle Jesse. Jacks is a cracked egg.
You cannot handle that guy. You cannot reason with that guy.
He's a fucking disaster.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
But you want to bone down with him, Well that's
just like a bone.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
But Jesse, Jesse I can handle like as a man
because I'm probably more of a man than him that
I could probably like manhandle him.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I almost just split up my soda, which, by the way,
I didn't drink SODA's until after I was in the hospital.
Now it's like a pound diet. Cox uh dicted. Well,
I think you know, we weren't able to go into
some of the past episodes, but you know, we'll just
we'll talk about episode three right now. It starts out
Janet's husband Jason, comes over to Britney's house. Jason helped
(06:27):
drive jacks to rehab and get checked in. He says,
Jackson is having a hard time separating being mad at
Brittany from getting help from for himself. So this is
the part that I find a little bit odd. Why
be mad at Britney when you're trying to get help
for yourself at this point, when you're trying to get help,
get help.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Well, I can tell you because he's not humbled yet, Okay, because.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
I haven't hit rock bottom.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
No, I have dealt with addiction in my family. And
on the way to bring in that person to rehab,
I was gonna punch her in the face because I said.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
You're not here. She was cocky. She was cocky, and
we brought her.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
There and she was on the phone and I said,
you didn't come here to have fun. So when you
unless you're going there loathing and hating yourself, he is
not starting off on the right foot.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
You need to hit rock bottom. I agree with you,
and especially the other day. I don't know all the
backstory to this, but he was recently on an Instagram
live and who knows what he was talking about because
I only saw a screen grab, but he was on
Instagram Live. And then you see his publicist, the one
he was allegedly having an affair with, say, get off
(07:43):
the live. Ooh wait is he still? How's he doing that?
Speaker 1 (07:47):
From rehab?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
You need to.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Be humboldt however that is, and that's people places things.
You strip yourself from everything and break yourself down and
then you come up to being a person from scratch.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
But I also don't think he wants to be sober.
He may not want to get to the where he's
blowing lines and breaking his furniture. But I don't think
he's interested in sobriety, I think, and I do. Do
you think he's interested in not hooking up with chicks anymore?
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Well, I think that's me, not of his addiction, right,
So it's all about discipline and getting rid of that
whole past life like you have to you can never
be around it again. You can't even take a sip
of a beer. It's over. It is over.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
It's all or nothing, right, Yes, And especially that's what
he's confusing here in California because there's all this California
sober discussion where it's like, well, I'm not doing coke anymore,
but I can still drink alcohol. No, But I that
if you're drinking alcohol, the next step is I'm going
to be drunk and I'm gonna want coke.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
If I'm a trigger at it, well it's a trigger, right, yeah,
So you start that and that's and.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I'm not saying that that doesn't that makes him a
terrible person. I'm just saying that may mean he's not
ready and he's doing and he keeps saying, I'm doing
it for my son, but then do it, well, I'm
doing yourself too. Well.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
I mean, I I believe in doing things for your kids,
like I believe in finding the strength to do something
in your love for your children. It has gotten me
from the depths of how like having to be strong
for the people I love. Like that'll do it, Patty,
And you know, that I know, you know who knows
better than you. You know, you fight every day and
(09:45):
he has to want it now.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
But he has to want it and he has to
also know that life not doing it is going to
be significantly better than the life he's living right now.
And I don't think he believes that.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Well, you have to have something to work with, so
I could. I haven't been able to sleep. And I
happen to turn on Bravo the other day and what
was on but their wedding.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Oh I never saw that.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
I saw their wedding. It just it was on, and
it was so weird to watch everybody so young. And
you see those memes on Instagram, like you know they
say like, oh, twenty minutes from now, she didn't know
she'd hear the worst news of her life, like it's somebody.
And I was like thinking with each person like Arianna
and Tom, like oh, you know, five years from now,
(10:34):
she will know that he's going to be sleeping with
Raquel who's in the room next to them, or you know,
or Sheen is going to be married with the kid
and what was it?
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Lala Kent was Lala was there with no neck?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
What's his name?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Randall. But he couldn't be filmed. I mean, I can't
even remember, but.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Yeah he was filmed.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Oh yeah, he was there.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
She was like crying when she was when Brittany was
dancing with her father, so.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Like, he reminds me of the guy from ninety Day Fiance,
Big Gud big big as brow.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
No, Randall, don't come from me. I'm sorry, I'm kidding.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
So you're not kidding. You're so full of shit. You're
not kidding. You just don't want him to come for
you because he's kind of scary. We don't need to
fight people, not on TV anymore. We'll stick to people
solely on television. Okay, but do you think that Brittany
is in the wrong at all for any of this stuff?
I know you're as you're watching the wedding, Like you
don't think that she knew this ship was coming. He
(11:32):
cheated on her, like a bajillion times.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
He cheated on her. He got, he drank, he did.
She was in love, young and dumb. She was in love.
I've I don't judge anybody for that. Doesn't make it
Just because she's at it doesn't make it okay for
him to keep doing it. Right, you know what I mean, Like,
(11:55):
don't fucking rhyn the girl into the ground. She's crazy
about you. But I always look at people where they
how they grew up their relationship and things were affected
by our childhoods as you know.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
So there was a part of me.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
That felt I have I do feel bad for Jacks
because I know I don't think he ever really had
a chance. He's not close with his family. He brought
he brought the father's ashes to the wedding, and that's
the only family he had there. Yeah, his mom, like
his sister was there, but they don't really talk. Now,
Like I looked into all this you got me crazy
(12:31):
with this podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
That you got it it makes you psycho and also
you have psycho. You don't really know this because people
don't significantly hate you to like another level. But like
theirs was probably like six years where I was so
hated online and it really kind of started like getting
to me mentally.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
If you don't look, though, there's no such.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Thing as not looking when you work in the business
and you keep doing it like it's there's no such thing.
People don't let it bother you, let it let's you.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Let it buy But if you don't look it, don't say.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
But also, how do you think Jax could not look like?
I think he's Also every time he funks up, he's
hated even more. And so like sometimes when you're really hated,
you go double down and you do it roundable. He's
not affected, Teddy, I's not affected. I don't think he
realizes he's an asshole. No, you're well, you're right, like
(13:27):
you were on Traders with him, Like do you think
he is arranging narcissist allegedly?
Speaker 1 (13:31):
No, no, he listen. Tom was like a puppy that
shits on the floor and then he gets hit. He
doesn't know why he why does everyone hate me? I
just said it on the floor. But he's like, I'm
the most hated man. I cannot be a trader, Like
(13:52):
the whole world hates me. But it didn't bathe him.
It didn't Teddy, it didn't like penetrate and.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Where I feel Jacks would lean into it and be
like I want to be the trader. I want to
do this like I want to be the biggest asshole.
But either way we get through this. It's broken. He's broken.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
You can't fix that. There's a thing I saw on
Instagram one time, be careful picking up broken glass, like
shard glass because you cut yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah, so I think they both kind of know, but
at this time we're probably like eight years and ten
years and twelve years and who knows into their relationship.
Then Janet and Michelle, which honestly, Michelle could push me
right over the edge every single time that she comes
on the screen. I'm like, I know that I was
notoriously boring, but I'm like, listen here, I'm in recovery
(14:43):
and I don't need to watch you. I'm tired. And
then she comes on and I'm like, I need freaking
whatever it's called toothpicks to hold my eyelids open. She
starts to talk and I'm like, no, yeah, I cat
she is where my joy goes to die. I mean like.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
She was crying. I mean she was crying the other
day because I know we have to get but we
have to get to that before. I'm sorry, I'm just so.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I know, we're so excited, but then we get the war.
The other thing is they're talking about the rehab thing.
Then Kristen and Luke come to the house, and then
Luke as if he wasn't enough already becomes completely unfuckable
because he outs the boy group. I'm sorry, is.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
That a boy group or a circle jerk? It's like
a big fucking lank fest on that. Oh, they think
they're so cool that they have this like group text.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Like join the fucking club. We all have group texts
and nothing stay inside.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Saw the group text between me and my friends, the pictures,
the memes that go up.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
But if my group text with Tamra, if one of
the additional people who I'm not going to say because
I don't want them to get DMS was then sharing
it on television, I would be freaking furious. I mean,
I know you guys are saying Danny brought it up
on camera first, but to me it came out as
(16:18):
as what's his name? As Luke telling it.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
I'm blaming Danny. He knows he's no amateur. He's not
an amateur. He knows what he was doing. What was
he thinking? Did he get bottle brain? Diaper brain? You
had a house with the three kids under three? Three kids,
I have three kids under three, And I'm.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Like, and how much are you doing it? At this point?
And like, listen, do you live in Valencia yet or not,
because I don't want to hear about it unless you are.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
I don't know where Valencia is, but I can tell
you that he's in the house too much.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I can tell you that he needs to be out
doing more things if he's reading through the Oh.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Santa she finally, she finally folded and went there. He
wanted to go there and then whatever, but anyway, boychat, boychat,
So he tells this dweeb. Yeah, first of all, if
they think if some guy was a rat like that
in New Jersey, oh boy, you that's what I'm saying, Teddy,
(17:18):
listen to me. If that happened here, Oh my god, it's.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
No Santa Clarita there in Jersey. No, you get your
ass kicked. That is.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
That is.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
But I think both of them would get their ass kicked.
They were both they would both get when. I think
Luke was upset that he didn't wasn't on the group chat,
and that's why he shared it. And then I think
that did.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
He say he shared it? Did he ever say why
you shared it? Luke?
Speaker 2 (17:49):
How quickly you went from hating the La Drama last
season to be the bone collector this season. I love
how this this is already written bone collector, Like Kristin
has definitely taught him.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Well, so listen, you know, let's go back to the wedding.
They say Kristin has like a golden vagina. She breaks
one heart after another. Well, Lalla was like, because at
the wedding there was some guy crying to her with
a beard.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Oh yeah, he turned out to be an asshole too.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yeah, so she was like, she was like breaking his
little heart at the wedding and he came to the
wedding to be with her and she was ignoring him.
She was just annoyed he was there. So then lalas like,
look at him crying in the corners. She's got like
a golden vagina. This is what she does to these guys.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
And I want to be clear, I love Kristin. Like
I think Kristen's a necessity on the show. In person,
She's really cool and nice. Where some of these people
I've met in person and I'm like, I could do
or do without you like being around me. I like Kristin.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
You know what I know about Kristin that Arianna called
her when Tom stabbed when Tom did to her, like
she broke up Tom and Arianna broke up.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
Kristen and Tom correct Arianna. Yeah. And then when Tom
broke up with see what the fuck you got me
going on here? Yeah, and went down We're deep down
the rabbit hole. We have to stay for.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Arihanna was just sweet. It was just a At Kristen's
baby shower, Arianna went to Kristen and Kristen embraced her
when Tom broke her heart. That's why when you're saying
you like Kristin, I'm saying that said about.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Kristen because people keep going back to her, so people
want to talk about her on the show. But either way,
then we get into this conversation where Michelle. Was Michelle
seeing Aaron last summer or was it just happening? You know, like,
I think.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
They were seeing each other, and I don't give a fuck.
He wasn't nice to her, He treated her, He was arrogant.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So Jesse was Jesse.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Was mean to her from what she says now, I'm
just getting new to.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
We believe her. Yeah, I mean, I don't think Jesse
is a great guy, but I also think that Michelle
knows exactly how to push buttons. But either way, there.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Say they were not compatibible, that is. And anyway, I
hope the honey guy was worth it because now he
hates her. She don't care that he hates her.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Oh my god. Then Jesse says, Michelle admits to cheating
on him. If it wasn't with Airy, admitted it.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
I didn't see that.
Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yes, this is at the beginning. Jesse says that she
admitted it. This happened last year, after the season. But
then if it wasn't with Aaron, then she cheated twice.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Just now, I think she's lying. I think she cheated
with Aaron, but she tried to cover up because Erin's
in the picture now, so she just wanted to admit
to it, but not to her daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Saying I love you to Aarin on last week's episode
or two weeks episode ago, showed me that he's been
in the life for a pretty long time. Yeah. I mean,
I don't know any men my kids would say I
love you too, other than their dad. Well, after two
months of dating like that seems Banana Tree.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Here's the thing, Banana Trees, Jesse's a good dad. Jesse
seems like a good dad. He seems very attentive to her.
The baby but then she was saying he doesn't pay
child support.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
That actually shocked me. But also I think Kristin and
Jesse using each other to create chaos is a little
bit of like what I needed on this show. Oh listen,
it was.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
We needed predictable, and you know what, they're thick as thieves,
those two.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
They are because they know you know what they need us.
Then yeah, and Kristin go to a fertility acupuncturist. Kristin
and Luke are still trying to get pregnant. They had
pregnancy loss last year. Nia says she got pregnant after
two months of fertility acupuncture. Nia wanting to have more
babies while still being in the apartment is absurd. Like
(22:17):
if I was the acupuncturist, I'd be like, no.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
She should just slow down for a minute and you
put for her body's sake, it's a lot on your body.
She had twins and she had like I think.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
She's concerned on once. She I think she's very and
I have been this way too, so I understand. I
think she wants to have all the kids she wants
to have right away so that she can get in
the best shape of her life and blah blah blah.
But I think what happens then is sometimes we mistake,
and I am at fault of this, we mistake some
of our sadness or unhappiness as exult austion when we
(23:01):
have little kids versus I need to deal with some
other things in my life, which I think is going
to play out throughout the rest of the season.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Well, that's very telling. But see, it's been so long
since I've had little ones. You still have little ones.
It's been so long that I don't remember any of that.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Yeah, So for me, like we you know, we got
to a point where racing from activity A to activity
mommy and me, this the blah blah blah blah blah,
And you're so booked up that at the end of
the night, when sometimes you're emotionally, you're like, well, I
did do sixty five million things today, So maybe that's why,
or maybe I did sixty five million things today because
I didn't want to address certain things that were going
(23:41):
on that I needed to handle. Well, I think that
is that that goes for.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Across the board in life. Yeah, Like I didn't stop
for probably twenty years, Teddy, Like I just went and
went and went and didn't sit down and w cluttered
my life with nonsensical busyness and too many people. And
it's only recent that I did calm down and stop that.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Well, you didn't have a choice. Your show's no longer
being filmed.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
That's true. Actually, yeah, I'm fired.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
But then we get back to the group chat, the
boys chat, and Jack's Jax, this was your first mistake.
Do not organize a group chat of I have four
people in my group chat and it annoys me, and
I have like twenty group chats. But Jack's organized a
group chat of twenty guys where they have locker room
This is not term I nor I knew or could use,
(24:43):
but locker room chat. And Jesse asked the chat how
Michelle is affording her place when she hasn't made commission
in two years. Then he says he has evidence that
she's sleeping with a billionaire for fifteen hundred dollars a night.
Who is it? This is my phone number.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I was just gonna say, listen, she should it's for
the full night? Is at fifteen hundreds? She should get more?
Does she have to stay all night?
Speaker 2 (25:07):
I mean we get more for a paid post on
the story saying that's a twenty secondaryis you got it
up your game?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
I mean, do you just let him look at it?
Do you have to do something for that? I mean,
I want to understand going very far.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
But my guess is that when when Jesse was sending
these kind of text messages that then Daniel then brought
to Luke is maybe when he was still in the
drinking some nights and then he would just be shit talking.
You know, some people should talk and they don't actually
mean what they're saying.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Listen, how many.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Times you really care? If?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
But huh do you?
Speaker 2 (25:46):
I don't think he really thinks that she's been sleeping
with a billionaire for fifteen hundred dollars a night.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Well, if so, he hates her so fucking much, he's
going to bring it out. So I thought when she so,
Now they're at Dave and Busters and Brittany tells.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Her also, would you want your adult birthday at Dave
and Busters?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
That was like not for me. But before we even
get Dave and Busters, they were talking about how they
think that Danny can't handle his alcohol. Listen, we need
people that can handle their alcohol but also still be
inappropriate on this show. So we got to figure out
a happy medium.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
But Danny's been in some trouble. While he's drinking, he
gets a.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Little handsy, a little handsy.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Surprised. I was very surprised to hear that.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
I know he goes to the church. I go to Danny.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Danny drink from the well at the church. You better
be good. Go to confession, Danny, and you're.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
With like the most beautiful this is. This goes to
show that if you're gonna be handsy and do inappropriate things,
it doesn't matter how beautiful your significant other is. You're
just that's maybe who you are or who you're natty.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
My friend's husband used to cheat on her with a
four hundred pounds woman with no teeth, and she would
wear the velvet though I mean no three She had
like three strands of hair roll messy and no teeth
summer teeth and she was four hundred pounds.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Yeah, I mean he loved her.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
He cheated, He left my friend for her.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
But also I want to see the scene where I
like Alex Baskin, let us know. I want to see
the scene because they have the actual footage of Jasmine
and her girlfriend confronting Danny, but they only showed us
a flashback of that.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Now, did Jasmine and her girlfriend confront Danny because he
was inappropriate with Jasmine as well?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
So what we found out on the after show regarding
this whole Danny being touchy feely, which I'm not sure
this story helps Danny at all, but it's that Jasmine
brought up him being touchy feely with her on camera
because he hadn't apologized to Jasmine's girlfriend. But the problem
(28:08):
was Danny thought he was handsy with Michelle.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
He was that drunk, He was that drunk, he.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Didn't even know who's handsy.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
No, I get it now, I was so confused, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
Yeah, so apparently he doesn't know who he was handsy with.
But of course then that means he's going to share
text messages that he like. Take Danny off the group
chat if you don't want it shared because he's loose
lips drunk?
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Or was he drunk when he was watching the kids
and he was on the couch and he told the vagina.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
No, I hope not.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Was he I mean he knew what he was doing then.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
I don't know. My guess is Danny potentially really wants
to be on this show, and he doesn't know how
to like call. He just says stuff that's unnecessary. Yeah,
I know, but then those are the one.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
You got to watch out for, Teddy. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
But then Janet decides she wants to throw her birthday
party at Dave and Buster's by the way in Northridge.
Been there, had a child's birthday there, Like, I don't know, adult, David,
it doesn't matter if you're in LA. You do know,
and you know that. I'm confused which adult wants to
have a Dave? Do you want a Dave and Buster's birthday? No?
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And I don't want to go there for a kid,
even which I don't want to go anywhere near there.
I done with those things. I've been done with those
things for over twenty years.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
Also was like, why did she have to carry two
beers at one time? Drink all the beers you want?
It's your birthday. We haven't seen you be like loose lips, Danny,
But why do you need to hold two Like there's
a million people to get your drink around, Honny?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
You know all I could think of when I was
watching that whole thing. I spend thirty thousand dollars on
a finale party here. Okay, I hired actors, I got
whiskey flowed people flown in from Ireland. I had Irish flowers.
They don't even I.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Don't even remember seeing any of this, So that's what
I remember, you just sitting at the table.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
I had my my garage turned into a casino with
our faces on coins that they never showed. And then
I had like Irish cooks make it, you know, when
we did like.
Speaker 2 (30:18):
The fighter, everybody fighting in this.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
In this room right here.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
But that's the only thing I remember is that room.
So you could have just done that and removed the heart.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And I'm thinking to myself, Dave and Busters and Beer,
it's the fuck out of here, the fuck and we're canceled.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Yeah, yeah, no, because this shows that this show is
not about the lifestyle. It's about the drama. And but okay,
she has the party. Then she's kind of bossy about
the Dave and Bosters and listen, I'm a bossy person,
so I get it. But like she wants everybody else
to Dave and Buster the way she Dave and Busters,
(30:58):
and I'm like, well.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
There's a pro and she went over it first. You
come in.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
First, she goes to the present room where.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
You can get your ticket.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Now, hold on, first, you must wear.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
And a fanny pack, which I was like, that's gonna be.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
A pain if you have to be you have to
pull it to the side, or you have to decide
if you're gonna take a fanny one.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
I hope I don't get invited to Brabo Khon and
I meet none of these people. I've never had beef
with anybody before until you fucking pulled me into this.
I just can't help myself, I know.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
But like also, like this isn't a kids party. Why
are you in rompers and fanny packs? I own all
these things, but I make a choice when to wear them.
And the choice is not one double fister.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
What else would you wear there?
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Jammies? This what I have on?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Listen? She was go ahead, I mean, I'm.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
But then but then, as if there's not enough going
on with figuring out what their goals were, which was
to get enough fucking tickets one to win something you
could probably buy for four bucks, uh, Brittany tells Michelle
what Jesse has been saying about her. They bring Daniel
over to ask what Jesse was saying, and he ship himself.
He did, I actually diaper Ambassador's that day your wife.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
Battered diaper bag because the trail is ship.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
He's like, He's like, well he could tell. He's like
looking in the side of his eye.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
And that's the first that she hears. You could like.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
His wife looks at him like you.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
Fuck.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Nia is like, I will honestly remove your ballsack tonight.
Just get away. He's like, well, you said it. She's no.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
She goes, well, you said it, you said it, you
said it on camera or you you know, you said it,
so you know it has to be and.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
You know she probably said that. You know, she probably
was like, you came, fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Well she said it. He didn't tell her.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
He didn't, no, because he doesn't remember. Dolores, Why was
he drying? I don't know. Were you having a double
fist of beers?
Speaker 1 (33:15):
I'm sharing?
Speaker 2 (33:16):
But then Michelle, the amount of Michelle crying over this,
I thought she.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Was gonna laugh. See, she treated it all wrong. She
should have started laughing.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
She's a night or.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Honey, I get way more than that punkin. I would
have had so much fun with that. But like it
was a delayed reaction cry like it was almost a
fake cry.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Honestly, do you think she went and did this with
some soap in her eyes.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
To get there? Like it was so delayed? Number One,
she wasn't like really surprised and she just started. But
but then she went off on him and she was like,
this is where we started to talk talk about. She's like,
well he doesn't pay child support.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Oh, then we finally get to the goods we need
to know. But I know the seal, but he did
break the seal. But I also don't know if I
believe her that he doesn't. This is a problem. I
know Jesse and you guys are gonna say Tanny's biased,
and yes I am biased, but like I think about
the two people i'd rather hang out. If I was
(34:23):
in a room with Jesse and I was in a
room with Michelle, I would gravitate towards Jesse, not because
I'm a host beast, but because he seems like more fun. Okay,
all right, So might be I'm biased, but I don't
know that I believe because she originally made it out
like he had her move out of the place, but no,
she had already done that. That wasn't a decision Jesse
(34:44):
made like they could. A lot of what we're hearing
is double sided from both things. Yeah, so it's it's
very tumultuous.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
They are. They fucking hate each other.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
They hate each other. They eight and she should have
just made a joke about it. And then I wish she.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Should have laughed. But but how could she come out
and say he's not being her if he really isn't?
Because who's gonna check?
Speaker 2 (35:12):
What are we gonna do? Am I gonna zip over
to the oh courthouse after this and check? Oh? Gry
the fans will do it? Not you? Someone let us know,
because I'm believing Jesse. But maybe he's not paying child's
work because they're not that part of court. Are they
fully divorced?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
No, they're not divorced yet.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Well that's why there's nothing set in stone. I doubt
they went to a mediation.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
But there's something called pendelighte where he has to give
her money to live. There has to be Oh, not
in California.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Not in California. You might even be in like one
of those fault states. Like I don't even know what
Jersey does, but like out and like.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
No, it's it's no fault like who knows, but we don't.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
I don't as far as I know. You keep everything
the same. So if they had separate finances, then it
would stay as separate finances until they complete either their
mediation or their court.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Well, you know, here's the other thing, like when they
see so if she has no money, is she banging
somebody for money? Because I don't know they're I don't know.
I don't know if the honey guy is the honey
guy fitting the bill, if the honey's expensive, I have more.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
Hair on the front of my head than the honey guy.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
No wait, listen, Michelle, I have no problem with anything
you do.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
God bless I'm Delores Is coming over after this and
we're gonna start my only fan so I can just
start bringing.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Nothing wrong with that, Michelle. Don't let anybody shame you
for how you make a living ever, And I'm not
saying that you do in any way.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
But maybe you know her boyfriend's giving her money.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Do they live together?
Speaker 2 (37:03):
No? Or they live together? They live together? The daughter says,
I love you. Who knows, but I think after court maybe.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
He's paying the fucking bill.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
Duh, duh. But either way, Jesse is saying he was
making a joke on the boy's chat. That shouldn't sound
like a joke when you say when you follow it
with I have proof. Oh, as she SIPs the's spind drift,
(37:33):
the fact that I just remember the word spind drift,
but like I forget.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
No listen, it should have never been repeated. How about
that you shouldn't have said it in the group chat, Jesse.
It's still the mother of your kids. And if you're
not paying the bills, why do you care? As long
as they're getting paid. That's number one. Number two, it
shouldn't have been repeated.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
It shouldn't repeat And also number three, if we are
going to keep this group chat working, please add me in, Dolores,
because we'd like to be in on the crumbs.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Yeah, we'll teach you how to be men.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
Oh my gosh. So then, as if Michelle couldn't bug
me more, now she's decided as a second seasoner to
go around and try and do a poll with some
like lifetimers to kick Jessee out of the house that he's.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Betting for for just don't go or or stay at
the hotel he invited her there. What about when Kristen says, listen,
if she's making some money on the side, she can
afford her own hotel room.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
There's also did she really think she's that close with everybody?
I guarantee she's one of those people that the second
they're done filming, she's not like besties with every single
woman on that show.
Speaker 1 (38:57):
Do you think Teddy I think that she was put
up to that.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Well, I know that that is very forbidden in the
world of housewives. Maybe not for the Valley, but we
do have the same producer. They never want to have
to deal with filming at two different locations. So unless
she ends up agreeing to it, and she said, you're right,
you're so hyped, never want that. But meanwhile, you know, Jasmine, Kristin,
(39:23):
and Ea think it's weird since Jesse is renting the house.
They don't want him to be I love that that's
the word banished. I'm like, are we on traders? But
then Brittany and Janet vote for Jesse to stay in
the hotel. They were so excited to win their prize.
I don't think they were focusing on what the hell
Michelle was saying. I want to just tune Michelle out too,
and she's like, yeah, sure, whatever, anyways, keep it.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Moving, No, because they were like mad about what he
had said, and Brittany's going through whatever Jax did to her.
So she's pro woman now, she's like old girl, I am,
I'm going to stick with the girls, you know.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
But then in the confessional, Michelle says Jesse is by
far worse than Jack's and that what she is going
through Jesse, Michelle said that Michelle says that worse than
Jack's and she's going through worse things than Brittany. I'm like,
I actually don't think so, because we just saw what
Brittany's going through and I don't like any of it.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
No, No, it's it's what Britney's been going through since
the day she.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Was with him, the day she let him in the
first time.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yes, he has dragged her through the mud. He has
dragged every woman on that show through the mud. And
you know, she wasn't going to change him and she
wasn't going to be any different. But she was in
it for the long haul and she stuck it out
and damn near fucking killed her. That will take a
toll on you.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
Do I think that Jesse is anal retentive and type
A and controlling. Probably I'm also all those things, so
I understand you recognize it, So I recognize the things.
Do I think he says shit he probably regrets and
unnecessary to say to the mother of his children. One
million press the truth.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
I just don't think he likes her. I don't think
he ever liked her. I don't think they like each other.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
I don't know she ever liked him. I think the
problem is he's still he was still in love with her, and.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
I don't know he didn't treat her like that because
when she had the baby, he would not help her.
He never gave her compliments, he wasn't sweet to her,
and I just don't think that she's the woman for him.
Maybe another woman could bring that out, and I.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Don't think so. I think if you're like that, like
there are some like that, some guys like that that
like like let's trade off each night and I'll do
the nights and when you have it, and there's some
that aren't. And maybe he's not that way. But these
are conversations you should have with which granted I probably
didn't have the right conversation. So this is a PSA,
(41:58):
if you haven't had a kid and you're with somebody
and you're thinking about having kids, start having these conversations now,
like when we do have a child, are you going
to be one that's going to be going? Yeah, I
mean a lot. You know, it depends if somebody's old
school and not old school, what their situation is. But
I don't imagine she went into having kids thinking that
(42:19):
he was going to do half of.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
You're right, No, you're you're always very smart. As long
as I know you, you're very intuitive. But but I
think I don't well, I don't think you're an asshole.
So anyway, listen, whenever you want, like we're going to
talk about me, you'd call me and go. You know,
I got to talk about this, Delores.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
You know I got to talk about you riding the
fence saved.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
But you know, why is it that everyone else could
ride the fence Page? And Page is friends with that?
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Because Page is funnier than you, Erica. I'm not saying
she is.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
Well, AKA, you don't know me.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
I would never in one million years go ahead down
and Dolores. I only say these things to her because
I absolutely love her, and I know we have to
finish with this episode because we have more recaps to
do after this. But Delores is like one of the
real ones. I would say, when we go down into
the history of housewives, the people that you can actually trust,
(43:26):
Dolores is one of them. So even though we might
make little comments towards one another, you are actually one
of those people that I truly, truly trust in love.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
That's all I need. And I really you can make
fun of me all you want after that, because that's
all that matters.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
That's you know, that's all that matters. And I feel
the same, like, make fun of me all you want,
But as long as I know that, like deep down
you love me, I'm good. But we don't know.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Well, I think with Michelle and Jesse, I just don't
see a compatibility there. I don't think he was nice
to her. I think she's crazy about the Honey guy
because he's so sweet to her, sweet like honey.
Speaker 2 (44:08):
Do you think we'll ever learn Honey Guy's name? Because
I can't. You Aaron, Aaron, Aaron. Only somebody put it
in the chat. That's why I know.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Okay, So Aaron, So look what happened at David Busters
when she goes running over to him. She's like, make
believe upset and and she has to break it to
him and then need to tell him that to tell him,
and then he said, She's like, yeah, he said, I'm
sleeping with some billionaire for money. Now it's somebody I'm with.
(44:37):
Their like who you're fucking lying? More like you fucking
probably right?
Speaker 2 (44:45):
But you've always been a slut.
Speaker 1 (44:47):
But what does honey guy do? You're stronger than that.
Don't let him bother you, sweetheart. No wonder why she's
crazy about him, like she's a fucking human.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
How dare he treat her like a human?
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Don't wonder why she was putting her makeup on to
go to Running Canyon buy his honeybeef arm, No wonder.
I don't blame you, Michelle, team Michelle, Jesse. I like you,
but you don't belong together.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
Listen, Jesse, but I sa also I want to clear.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Somethingy you can handle. Jesse.
Speaker 2 (45:18):
I don't know that I need to be with another Jesse.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
You made me say who i'd be with him.
Speaker 2 (45:23):
I think I need I may need a honey guy.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
You need a different honey guy, but a different type
of guy, different, a different esthetic type more your type,
more my more my aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
But that but the problem is, I'm scared I would
walk all over that aesthetic and and you know, let
me that's me.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
You know what you would do? You know what honey
guy would do when you start to get like that,
he'd be like, ok No, he'd be like, Okay, if
you're having that kind of a day, it's okay, come back.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
Take let's take.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
Let's take. Yes, let me give you your space. This
is a pipe dream.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Well all right, Well, do you have any last questions
for me, Dolores before we close out this episode of.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Wait so so yeah, I do have a question for you.
As a matter of fact, who would you choose between Danny,
Jason or Luke Jason?
Speaker 2 (46:26):
One million percent? Why are we even talking about Jason
when I would choose Jason to bone and to marry.
Really he's a dupe. Also, I'm not coming for your man.
I don't want to have birthdays at the place like
But Jason, I think is the only doable option for
me really for either Why you're you're leaning towards Danny
(46:49):
and Luke? You don't it doesn't seem now I would.
Speaker 1 (46:52):
Punch Danny right in his fucking face, because he would
have gotten me in trouble because he opens his big mouth.
Don't give me in trouble with my friend for your
big mouth, because that's what girls do. You're a girl now,
and I don't want to have three kids under three. No,
and you shouldn't have let me do that, So go away.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
And I give Luke a hard time, but I feel
like I don't really know Luke, and maybe Luke is
very nervous, so maybe Luke needs to be the one
pounding double fisters, so you.
Speaker 1 (47:23):
Don't understand Luke. In the end might come through to
be like you don't.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Know, we don't know, we don't know you, Luke, he
doesn't have it.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
He doesn't have an iPhone, so he's good.
Speaker 2 (47:32):
Oh my gosh, Jason doesn't have an iPhone. Maybe I
take back my original vote. I've always I can't be
with somebody that would ruin a group text or have
a green text. Well that's a big, pretty requisite.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
We'll we'll cross that bridge, Teddy.
Speaker 2 (47:50):
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But
thanks guys for tuning into another episode.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
So we slaughtered this thing.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
We crushed it. I mean, we love to give ourselves props.
Speaker 1 (47:59):
And on the heels of all of this, I want
to tell the whole cast, you guys did a great job.
You gave us a lot of content. Thank you, and
we really.
Speaker 2 (48:08):
Do like you all, Oh, we really do. We love it,
We appreciate you. We're just recapping a show that you
guys actually may.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
Just recapping it. We're just talking about what you did.
It's not like we made something up about you. Remember
that way you see us at.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Remember that when we when you want us all to
be hugging like this.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Let's hug.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Let's hug it out, hug it out, all right, guys,
Thanks for tuning in. Bye,
Hosts And Creators
Teddi Mellencamp
Tamra Judge
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