Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Two teas in a pod which Teddy Mellencamp and camera judge.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of The twat Seat,
and I am very excited to have a very special
guest today, Katie Thurston. Katie was originally on the Bachelor
and then she became the Bachelorette. The reason that I
wanted to have her aunt today not only did I
love watching her on both of those shows, is she
(00:39):
also is struggling with cancer. She has breast cancer I
think stage four, and so I just wanted to talk
to her about all the things. I mean, I know
at some point she wanted to start a family. I
know she recently got engaged and married since being diagnosed.
So let's dig into it. Oh yeah, that's the name
(01:01):
of the pod that you're on right now.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
So what did you just call me?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Can you guess who's on? If you watch something other
than the Real Housewives, then you've probably already recognized this voice.
But it's I'm having somebody on because they've really touched
my heart and it's taught me a lot, and she's
taught me a lot, and so I wanted to come
on and have this conversation and there's no better person
than I would want to have on to have this
(01:27):
conversation than Katie Thurston.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Hi, I'm from The Bachelor, the Bachelorette, and we have cancer.
That's my intro. That's how you become a TWI. I
already teared.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Up when I never saw you.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I like, can't make eye contact with you for too long,
I will just start crying.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh my gosh. So I'm going to go into this
interview like we know nothing.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
And then any questions you have back for me, feel
free to ask. I'm sure I'll chime in whether I
should have known. It's fine. And as I told her,
I was like, listen there sometimes during the interview that
I may pause or get a little confused. And when
you said same, I just wanted.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
To cry the most. I was like, I feel like
I'm talking to myself right now. Like it's unfortunately very relatable,
so like I will like stutter or like forget complete things,
and it's scary sometimes and given anext text is good
so far. I do a lot of voice memos to
like because that's the easiest thing. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
For saying that, because everyone's like Teddy, you and the
voice memos, and I'm like, I don't email anymore, just
text or voice memo. Yeah, so I'm like I can't
add that additional So first and foremost, congratulations, you're you're
a wife.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Now I'm a wife. I like the word husband, my husband, Yes,
the room or you trying to watch house?
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
You know I'm busy nowadays.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
But yeah, we wanted to have Katie on because there's
just so much that there is to learn, and I
think that you are Like everything that I've seen that
you've talked about has just been so inspiring for me.
I know we have different types of cancers, but do
you mind telling me a little bit about how you
came to find out where you are now?
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Yeah, it was obviously very unexpected. I think anyone who
has cancer is not expecting it. It was beginning of
the year and I was like, I should do like
my health checks. You know, I'm at the time engaged.
I want to maybe start a family, so let's just
you know, check on some things, including this lump that
I had. And I'd had a lump before and it
was a be nine sist and I kind of was
(03:39):
holding onto that thought and it was like oh, there's
no urgency. However, when I went in, they you know,
referred me to the specialist, which is normal. I don't
wait for like a few weeks for that. And then
it was that appointment. I was like, Oh, things are
more serious than I thought. You know, they're doing the
breast ultrasound and they're not saying anything, and you can
just hear her like take photo after photo after photo.
(04:00):
I'm like, oh, she sees something, you know. I remember
with my first breast ultrasound in my twenties early twenties,
they told me right away, oh, it's nothing, you know.
I was kind of holding my breath for that, and
then when they didn't say anything, I just started like
crying because I just knew my gut. And they're like, well,
can you do a mammogram today. I'm like, I've never
even had a mammogram yet.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yeah, you're so young.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah. And then I was like yeah, and so, you know,
I get the mammogram, and you know, the girl who
was helping me, she didn't know anything at the time.
I was like already panicing. She's like, oh, it's fine,
just a mamogram, and I was like, okay, but we're
looking for breast cancer. And then same thing when she
did the mammogram, she was kind of like her tone change.
She was more like soft and nurturing and kind of
like it's okay, you know, and I was like, shoot,
(04:42):
something's going.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I know. It's almost harder when you can start to
read how the other person's feeling.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
You feel it.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
You can feel it.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Oh, I'm a big energy person, which is also I
like cried almost like when I saw it, like oh
I can feel this energy. But yeah, so then then
they're like, okay, well we got to do a biopsy.
And so I was in is like really tough place
in terms of like I was about to turn into
my keys in La, Like my lease was up. I
was supposed to be traveling for two months like basically homeless,
you know, on the road with my now husband, and
(05:11):
then that's when I was like, what do we do?
My husband, who was supposed to be traveling, postponed two
months of his world tour to be with me, which
I didn't know at the time. That was like the
saving grace for me because I had no idea like
what I was about to get into. As you probably know,
the beginning is the hardest part of getting a diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
There's so much so how did they initially diagnose you?
And what exactly did they say?
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Well, that's the even crazier part. When I was first
diagnosed as stage three triple positive, and that was in.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
LA, and then.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
So hormone positive, like it feeds off hormones, that's the
first like plus plus. And then there's something called her
too negative or her too positive, which is like a
her too protein. It's I had I thought breast cancer
was breast cancer. There's there's triple negative, triple positive, and
then hormone positive, her too negative. It's very complex, but
in the in the beginning, I was stage three triple positive.
(06:10):
And then I transferred care from LA to New York
where my husband lives, and now I live too, and
you kind of have to get rediagnosed, which was also
a weird, like saving grace because they're like, oh, you're
not stay straight, you're stage four, which shitty. But then
they're like, but also, you're not her too positive, you're
her too negative, which meant I didn't have to do chemotherapy,
(06:34):
but we didn't. I literally had my port installed. I
was one day away from starting chemo, and I remember
calling my own colleges because you get so many like
medications right before you start chemo, and I was like,
I don't understand these instructions, like what do I do?
And she's like, well, hold on, we're waiting. We're still
waiting to get confirmation on your her two status. And
she'd never told me. I think she didn't want to
(06:55):
give me like this like false hope of like, oh,
maybe I don't have to do it. I'm like, what, Like,
I literally just have my port installed, I have my
chemo bag packed, and you're telling me like tomorrow I
might not do chemo. And then that's ultimately when it
was happening, is they confirmed that I was misdiagnosed in LA.
It changed my whole treatment plan. Stage four is the
(07:17):
unfortunate part, but I mean at least they caught it.
Because you are treated differently when you're like stage three
versus stage four.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
And what is the Because I'm stage four, but mine's
melanoma that metastaized to my brain and lungs, So what
is the difference in treatment when you are stage four?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
So I think when you're stage three they want to
be really aggressive because it hasn't spread yet, so they
like throw everything at it. And it's very tough on
your body. For the type of cancer I have. It
was in my liver. But this treatment that just came
out maybe four years ago, it's an oral medication and
that's what I do as I take a pill every day,
(07:59):
three weeks on, one week off. I don't know like
the science behind it, but it's it is tough on
my body, but it's working. Like the tumor in my
liver has already shrunk. That's huge, thank you, thank you.
The breast has shrunk in size. My next scan is October,
and so my I mean, maybe I'm being a little
too optimistic, but I'm like, maybe I'll be no evidence
(08:21):
of disease, which is like the term they use for
people like us, you know, like technically with breast cancer,
I'll never be you know, cured at this time. It's
always I try to explain it, like there's always a
breast cancer cell circulating somewhere. It's how I like simplify
it and why I'm not, you know, ever going to
be like breast cancer free as of now. But I'm
very optimistic in like medical advancements and and hope, you know,
(08:44):
for a great future for people like you and me
in terms of what the future holds and what treatments
are available, and how does the pill make you feel?
Oh girl, well, the memory thing is like the one
thing I noticed right away. My vision's decreasing, my thinning.
I'm tired all the time, which is tough because they're like, oh, well,
(09:04):
to help with the you know, side effects work out.
I'm like, but I'm too tired to do anything super forgetful.
So when you said that, I was like, I felt
a little more calm in this interview because like God,
sometimes mid.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Sentence fumble around forget It's fine, I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Yeah, And like my like management is great because I'll
forget things and they they know, like now especially like
to hold my hand through things. And I think that's
the one thing we have in our space that we're
in is we have this like freedom to like move
at our pace, you know. And if I was like
at the bank, which is where I used to do
before Reality TV, I would have to go on disability
(09:41):
because there's no way I could work a normal job
working people's money and in private information and at a
pace that made sense.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
That's something that just honestly made me feel so much gratitude,
because You're right, there is absolutely no even me trying
to like manage my kids' schedules the way that I
used to. I can't do it. Like I don't have
the like the cognitive ability to like be that set. Yeah,
it's like a schedule really stresses me out.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
And it sucks because you don't have control the way
like we used to, you know. And I was just
in Washington, where I'm from, and I didn't even have
all my hotels planned. I was like booking hotels like
the day before because that's all I'm capable of doing.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Oh my god, I can't believe this is exactly Or
like committing to things yeah yeah, And then I'm like,
once I commit to it, then I'm like, well I
have to do it.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
No, No, you don't. You you use that cancer card
all the time you earned it. And that's the thing
I'm learning is like, like you have to be so
guilt free and taking care of yourself and putting yourself first,
and like I have like one hundred unread text messages
right now that I'm like, I don't know if I'll
ever so many of our friends and family listening. It's
(10:58):
not personal, it's just the cancer.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
That's a cancer. We didn't mean it. We did mean it,
and so this pill, I feel like I've heard There's
been a couple of other people that I think I've
talked about it. So I'm on immune therapy. I did
radiation and then I did immune therapy. But nobody's told
me anything about this pill. I want. Is it solely
(11:22):
for breast cancer.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
I believe it is just for breast cancer. Yeah, And
I think they're slowly like opening it up to more
people because that's what we want. We call it targeted therapy,
so like with chemo therapy, and why stage three typically
gets chemo therapy is they're just attacking it all as
fast and as hard as they can. But that also
attacks like your healthy cells. You know, with targeted therapy,
(11:44):
it's like I overall, for the most part, can feel normal.
My like white blood cell cancer messed up from time
to time, but it's it's just attacking the tumor. And
I think that's what we want going forward for all cancers.
Is like chemo is so tough on people, but if
we can you have a focus, targeted therapy on our
type of cancer and had it worked like that's like
(12:04):
the end game for us.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
What was the moment that it actually really hit you, like.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Ough, oh cry ooh.
Speaker 4 (12:14):
I think.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
I was still like in the middle, like being diagnosed,
and I just had my mammogram and the medical system
is so messed up because sometimes you get access to
your chart before your doctor calls you. And so I'd
never had a mammogram and I I'm sending the screenshot
to my mom and there's what's called the Byrad's score,
and I didn't even know to like look that up
(12:38):
or know what that meant, and so I sent to
my mom, who then happened to send me like the
chart of like what a buy Rad score four meant
in five and I forget I think it was like
a four whatever. It was basically like ninety five percent.
Sure this is cancer. That's when it like hit me,
was like that like by Rad score and a doctor
hadn't talked to me about it yet. I think for
(12:58):
the longest time, I was like whoing on to like, Oh,
it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing. But then when I
saw like, oh, it's ninety five percent shirt, it's cancer.
I remember like packing up my LA apartment and just
being like I don't even know like where I'm going anymore,
you know, like I I my lease is up, I'm
supposed to be traveling. I'm supposed to be moved to
New York. My insurance Like, what the fuck am I
(13:21):
going to do right now?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Did you have life insurance?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
I had life insurance?
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Oh wow, now I definitely don't.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Yeah that guy sign us up. Guys. Yeah, I worked
at a bank, so I've done all these like things
like in my early twenties, thank god. But yeah, it
was just it didn't run in my family. I was
thirty four, and it just like came so unexpectedly.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
When you were waiting for different results from scans or
things like that, like and you were feeling pretty did
what were some of the things that you did to
help make yourself feel better? Because like, there's some people
I talked to and they're like, I just laid I
laid I rest And some people are like, oh, I
felt totally fine. I was like, you know, I didn't
(14:13):
buy my friends over for the next day, and I'm like,
I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah, at a van first of all van whatever you need.
But I think the thing that made me feel maybe
distracted was finding other people's stories, Like I before I
shared it publicly the eye breast cancer, I was on
TikTok like looking at hashes like breast cancer and finding
so many young women also with breast cancer and like
(14:40):
scrolling through their journeys and seeing what's going on. And
that was when I first realized like, oh, there's actually
a lot of young women with breast cancer, you know.
And so because these women were like my support unknowing
lead to them, I was like, I know, when the
time comes for me to go public, like that's gonna
be my next like chapter. Purpose is like sharing my
(15:00):
story in hopes of like helping other people as they
navigate like a really shitty time.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
And what made you decide to go Because a lot
of people will ask me the same thing. They're like
why you know a lot of people don't say anything
because they don't want feedback from other people. Yeah, but
what made you decide to open up and share?
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Well, I think for starters, I mean we're public people,
like we're public figures, I guess is what people would
say and it would be so disingenuine to like pretend
like I'm okay when I'm not. You know, when I
was diagnosed as valid, Like around Valentine's Day, all these
couples are posting like my Valentine, my husband, my boyfriend,
all these cute things they're doing, all this hearts and chocolate,
(15:39):
and I'm just sitting here like knowing I'm about to
get the call, which I got the call February thirteenth,
the official call, and I was like, I can't sit
here and post like, oh, I'm so happy on Valentine's Day. Yeah,
I just had to be like so like raw and
true to like my life of what's going on and
share that. And it's been more healing than I expected
(16:01):
because it's the community. I mean, like even talking to you,
Like when you meet someone who genuinely understands what you're
going through, it's so validating, it's so healing, so nurturing
and protective. And that's like what I think keeps me
going is the community.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
Yeah, I would I would say the same, the community
knowing that you're not alone. And then also when you
talk to somebody that's also going through it, like you
just taught me something like I have been avoiding looking
at other people that have melanoma, and I've been avoiding
that because I don't want to start like self diagnosing.
(16:38):
But but there is a there is a comfort in
that as well, and so that's huge. And then but
the goodness is your tumors are shrinking to shrinking.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Medicine is working. So that's all we can hope for
with stage four is you know, as long as it
keeps working, we're good. If it doesn't, there's plan B
and C and D all lined up. And you know,
I've met women in my situation who are even ten
years into their metasatic breast cancer. And that's what I
hold on to and why I would encourage you to
like look for other people in your situation, because yes,
(17:11):
there are unfortunate stories that really have you spiraling, but
also there's so many good stories that like give you
hope and keep you motivated. Like that's going to be
mean ten years, I'm going to be celebrating ten years
of life from now.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
And how has it been with your husband, because I
mean you got married after you found out, And how
how have you guys been communicating? Because I know that
when I was hospitalized or when I've been going through
things like my friends, people I've dated, my ex husband.
He's not my ex husband, but my my what do
(17:47):
I call him? Guys?
Speaker 3 (17:48):
He's a life partner, he's.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
My my, my baby dad too that we're not together,
but you know, it is what it is. I would
I wasn't on my best behavior, like I'd be like snarky.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Yeah, no, it's very valid. I'm also in medically induced menopause,
and so with that comes a lot of emotional swings,
and I think in the beginning Jeff wasn't familiar with
that obviously, and we had to have very just like
transparent conversations of like, I might be a bit right now.
It's my emotions, it's my hormones, it's not you. And
(18:28):
we've had to figure out how to like navigate that
because there's moments where you're so angry, you're so angry
with your situation and you're so sad, you're so mad,
and then you know, it's easy to take it out
on the person closest to you, you know, And I
think we had to just really have honest conversations of
like how to handle that, and also from my perspective
(18:50):
of like letting go of the ego and apologizing because
I also can recognize, like, sure, I have cancer, it's
not an excuse to be mean to the people in
my life. Maybe the heat it I was feeling some
kind of way. But now that I'm calm and I
have my hot Flash watch on and I'm feeling cool.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Hold on, what do.
Speaker 3 (19:09):
You get hot flashes? Yes, girl, this is a life changer.
This is not sponsored.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
I was like, this is this is not an ad,
but it should be.
Speaker 3 (19:17):
Okay, Yeah, so it's a cooling watch because what a
hot flash is and I didn't realize it's it's a
brain thing, not like a body. It's not your body.
Speaker 4 (19:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
So originally they're like, well you can you can take
like an antidepressant, and I tried, but it's it's so
intense on your brain. And so what the watch does
is it sends a cooling flash to your wrist, which
then makes your brain go, oh, you're not hot, You're
actually cold, and therefore like kind of cancels out that
hot flash.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
I need this.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
I need this all of a sudden, do the link
because I swear by it, and like I said, they
won't sponsor me. I don't care. I will still promote
them for the rest of my life because it works
so well.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm on antidepressants right now, but sometimes I feel like
they just kind of like like I become a little
bit numb. Sure, yeah, and so I'm always looking for
ways to expand feeling better.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I get that because we take so many pills, and
so if you can find like a natural option out
of the twenty other pills you're taking, you're like, yeah,
that's a win.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
The pills and finding things like did you change your
whole Like I mean, some people are so incredible, Like
they change their whole diet, they change everything. Meanwhile, like
I'm having a diet coke because like I need the energy.
So like, did you do like a full yes? And no.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I mean you definitely like reflect on your life choices
and you're like, where could I be better? Like I
knew I wasn't. And this is so dumb because they
teach you all the time. I definitely wasn't drinking my
eight glasses of water a day, you know, so now
I'm like, drink my water. You know. I was drinking
maybe more than I should as a little party girl,
but I still I still will have my glass of wine.
(20:56):
Like people will message me all the time be like
sugar this and wine, and you know it's like I
get it, but like I also, I just want to
live my life, you know, don't critique me on my
life choices. Like I'm choosing the way I want to
live and feel good about it and do.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
The best that you can.
Speaker 4 (21:12):
Yeah, are you did?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
I read somewhere that you guys are maybe trying to
do some IVF or get pregnant. Oh yes, so I
went through IVF two, So I fully brutal, brutal, brutal.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Did you do one round or I had.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
To do multiple?
Speaker 2 (21:41):
I mean my kids are all older now, but I
had to do multiple rounds for my son Cruise.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
And finally the last time, they're like, if this time
doesn't work, Oh and that was cruise Cruise.
Speaker 3 (21:55):
That like makes me happy for so many reasons. Yeah.
So when I was when we thought we were gonna
have to go through chemo, I say, we like, everything's
like a partner with him. The one thing they're like, okay,
well you should probably freeze some eggs because it could
impact your your embryos and or your eggs and so
we did IVF one time. It was so hard, as
(22:17):
you know, I don't like needles, and then they're just
I had to have him do it if he wasn't there, Yeah,
I have to lay down. I would put like a
can of coke like on my stomach to like numb
it and close my eyes. I literally have a scarf
from like digging my nail into like my skin. I
cannot do needles, and like Harry, I'm now getting needles
in me every month. But yeah, so we did IVF.
Speaker 4 (22:41):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (22:41):
We we have two embryos, and so that's when your
like story like gives me hope because two things, I
will not be able to carry my own baby because
of the type of cans right half, which means I
have to do surrogacy. And when you only have two embryos,
you're not guaranteed a success. And so we're really hopeful
(23:03):
that when the time comes that we find like a
good match for us be a surrogacy, and that that
baby takes because right now we only have two and
I don't know that I will be allowed to do
IVF again because my cancer feeds off hormones and that's
all you're doing is giving your pumping yourself with hormones,
and so you know, with my treatment working, it's like
(23:24):
the last thing you want to do is be like, well,
let's reverse that now, you know.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
So two embryos is good to embryos, that's that's positive.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
All it takes us one.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
And I know a couple of my best friends went
through surrogacy as well, and they were all successful.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
So yeah, I'm very I'm very optimistic. I'm hopeful. It's
two girls. I just shared them republicly, but I just
feel compelled to share that with you.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
So two girls, do you think you would put one in?
Or two?
Speaker 3 (23:53):
I don't know, Like that's the way to the doctor.
Ye see what the doctor says.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
See what?
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Like I don't know the health is of our surgus.
Like there's so many that's a whole nother like journey
that I'm going to be sharing in the future because
it's I don't know, there's so much. And I've been
following again other people went through surrogacy, and it's like,
you got to find someone under this age, under this BMI,
who's never had a C section, all these like weird
things that I just don't know about yet. They got
(24:19):
to be like you know within like I don't know
the New York area. Some states don't even allow surrogacy,
which which is insane, especially coming from someone like me.
Like I'm not doing it because I don't want to
have my own baby.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
But even if you didn't want to have your own baby, yeah,
Like it's not somebody else's decision.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Right, and no one's forcing it, you know.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, Like it's I can't understand when people have a
problem with that, because it's like, you want a child
and we shouldn't be judged on how that happens. Yeah,
I mean I was even judged for doing IVF.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
People do not understand.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
It, Are you serious? Like it is the most is brutal,
It is hard, and I have friends who have done
multiple rounds five VF and never even gotten a numbry.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
I'm not a doctor, no, No, I mean it's it's
all the same essentially.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Yeah, what's something you wish people better understood about supporting
you through this journey?
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I mean, I think because I've been so public about
my feelings, people are doing a really good job at
figuring it out. I do think people look at me
and just assume I'm okay. You know, they're they're like, oh,
you don't look sick. You don't look like a stage
four cancer patient, you know. Or they see me going
out and they're like, you're fine, you know. And I
(25:50):
think what people need to really remember is like cancer
isn't a competition. It's not who has the worst you know,
treatment or the worst type of cancer. Like the cancer
club just sucks, regardless of like stage zero, stage four,
It all sucks. And so just really trying to continue
to stay supportive and not like minimize someone's experience.
Speaker 2 (26:10):
Yeah, I think minimizing someone's experience. And then but how
do you feel when someone comes up to you that
you don't know and wants to talk to you about it?
Speaker 3 (26:18):
I'm I'm happy. I'm always happy to talk about it.
I will typically like cry. They'll be like I'm following
your journey, and I already like know where this conversation
is going, and I'll just get emotional with them. But
I love it. I want to share. I know people
like you and I, as we continue to share our
own experiences is making a difference. And I always say,
like turning pain into purpose and you may never know
(26:41):
the impact you might have on someone. But I can
say very confidently you have saved somebody's life, you know,
And I think that makes I don't want to say
it makes this worth it. But if there's someone to
have cancer, I feel glad that it's me. I know
that sounds like such a weird thing to say, but
like I have a platform of women that I can
like educate, I have a career that allows me to
(27:02):
like continue, you know, at the pace that I can
do so, and I have a supportive husband and lifestyle
and it, you know, it's cancer sucks, but like I'm
I'm happy it's me and not someone else who like
you know, can't leave their job or like doesn't have support.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
How did your did your sex life change?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Yeah? Girl all ran to be honest, it's sorry, Jeff,
I don't know the last time we had sex right now.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
You're like, I don't know. It's no longer two times
a week, three times a week.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
Yeah, it's it's like there's just so much changes with
my body, especially with menopause, Like things are not the
same down there, and that's something I'm still trying to
figure out what to do. And then of course he's
like very sensitive to like I don't want to hurt you,
you know, and then like even like the breast and
I'm like, they'll touch the breast.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
You watch Dying for Sex?
Speaker 3 (27:47):
I made it maybe twenty minutes into it and I
could not watch it. I did you watch the whole thing?
Speaker 2 (27:51):
I watched almost the whole thing. Oh, how did.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
You feel about that?
Speaker 5 (27:56):
Well?
Speaker 2 (27:57):
I mean there are parts that I could totally see myself,
like the part where like she's like, all right, I'm
going to try to watch a porn and then she
doesn't realize she's videoing herself and she ends up selling
the porn. Yeah, Like she thinks she's just going online
to look. But so she goes online, finds like a
porn or someone to chat with or something like that,
(28:18):
and as she's watching it, she's pleasuring herself and but
really it's recording her. And then all of a sudden
it sends out like this is going to be sent
out to the world Wide Web, and so she has
to call her ex husband and be like.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Oh, oh my gosh. And this is based on a
true story. Yes, wow, Because think about.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
The amount of times like we click on the wrong
stuff now and we talk about how we are with
our phone but I'm like, oh my gosh, but it
was I mean, it's heartbreaking, but it also there are
things that I was as I was watching it, I
was like, oh, I could see this because for me,
there's times where I feel like very sexual and there
are times where I'm like I can't even imagine going
(29:02):
on a date right now. Yeah, I can't even imagine
having that type of conversation.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
Yeah, that's like I like hate that for you, because
I wouldn't know how to date in this situation anymore.
Like I feel very like fortunate to have Jeff. But yeah,
I know a few friends who are stage four and
they're you know, in the dating scene and they just
have to like lead with it up front, and then
(29:30):
they come across people who kind of like almost like
turn it into like a fetish of like all be
your savior or like the hero dating the cancer girl,
you know, and so you really have to like pick
through like weirdos to find like the genuine guy who
also can see like, hey, like I'm still me, you know, overall.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Very true, very true, And how has your perspective on
life changed? And like even if we go back to
like the bachelor days, yeah, or like are there things
you look back on it and you're like, wow, I
wish I would have done this differently.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
I think the first thing that I noticed right away
was like my view on like beauty, because like it's
so like beautiful to be alive versus just like to
be skinny or like to be pretty. You know, like
it's hard to understand or to put into words eloquently,
but it's like I find like what's beautiful is like
(30:26):
life now, you know, and like I like care less
about like a cell you'll light or gate weight gain
or whatever, because I'm just like every day I'm just
like happy to be here now.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
You know.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
I view like elderly people like with such like respect
because I'm like you made it this far, you know,
like you view them and you're like damn, like good
for you. You know, like every wrinkle is like a blessing,
and every child now is a blessing. Like you just
view like life almost like you're on like drugs, like
or you're a molly. You're like everything it's beautiful now.
(31:01):
You just appreciate things like so much more and like
the petty shit that you like fought about or like
grudges you're like none of that matters.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Yeah, Like I don't have I don't have the capacity
for it. But when you're just talking about like the
appearance thing, I was talking to somebody the other day
and I want I want to say I feel the
same way, like I really want to believe it because
I do. But I notice that the thing that I'm
hardest on myself about right now is the appearance stuff.
(31:32):
Like They'll send me a clip from this pod and
I'll be like, oh my gosh, put a filter on that,
Like I can't even with myself right now, and I
find myself being hard on myself, and then I have
to have that conversation like yeah, Petty, you're there, you're working,
you're doing the best that you can. You're beautiful, like
(31:52):
like giving myself self like positivity versus tearing myself down
because it's easy when you're feeling really low to tear
yourself down. Yeah, but you're such I.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
Mean, but your feelings are so valid and real and relatable.
Like that's like what you're saying. We all we as
cancer and girls, we all go through you know, And
it's I think especially people like us who are like
on this like elevated platform of like constantly having to
see ourselves on a camera, on a photo. It makes
(32:24):
it extra hard for sure. And I think I always
tell people like cancer is like a practice lifestyle, like
practice mindset, because we are going through these like highs
and lows, like as much as you could be like,
oh my god, you're so positive. See me last night,
I was bawling my eyes out here, you.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Know, because that's the thing people will say to me too.
They'll be like, well, you're up and you're walking and
you're doing things. I'm like, you have no idea of
what it was like to get there. Yeah, And I
my goal is to go one mile. Yeah, Like I before,
I would honestly wake up on a Saturday morning and
be like, I'm gonna run ten miles today. Now I'm like,
if you can get that one mile, and I'm really
(33:01):
proud of you, Teddy.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
Yeah, I think that's great. What one bite at a
time is my motto because same, Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
What's something you wish people better understood about this entire process?
Speaker 3 (33:14):
Hm better understood? I think the biggest thing I pushed
now is that cancer doesn't discriminate. I think people always
thought like young people don't get cancer, or like cancers
are my family, so I'm safe. And it's like you
gotta do all your checks, not just your breast but
your skin, and talk to your doctor. And I think
women are really good about that, or typically are men.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Men.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
If you're listening, go to the doctor.
Speaker 4 (33:39):
Go to the doctor.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Go and get your colonoscopy. Yes, yes, And it takes
a while to book an appointment. Yes, it's frustrating, but
like it's worth it. You had that you had felt
(34:01):
your pain for for a little while in your breast,
how long before you actually went in? Because I still
to this day can't believe I waited with the headaches
for so long.
Speaker 3 (34:12):
I sympathize because I had the lump maybe seven months
before I got it checked out. Not only did I
have the lump, I had a scan, you know those
full body scans.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
I got a preneval.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah, I did too, Yes, And when I got I
remember getting the results. And because I had a benign
cyst in the past, the I remember the nurse. I'll
never forget this conversation because like there's always gonna be
a little bit of resent towards her and myself for
like you said, for waiting so long, and the way
she worded it. I didn't know the word malignancy, Like
that's not a word I use. I don't know what
(34:44):
that means. I didn't look it up, you know, but
I remember her saying like, oh, it's probably old scar
tissue from your lumpectomy when you're in your early twenties
and you're of course looking for like confirmation bias, and
you're like, yeah, totally of course not cancer. That's crazy.
And then like the longer this lump stay and the
bigger it gotten, the more painful about I remember looking
(35:05):
back at that report and like kind of like copying
and pasting it and then learning to sounds so stupid,
but learning what the word malignancy meant. And in that
report it basically said like, it could be it could cancer.
You should get further exploration. Didn't do that. I was
not pushed by this, you know. I don't know what
her title was, but this person on the phone, And yeah,
(35:27):
there's moments where I like really regret not going in
sooner because maybe I wouldn't have been stage four, but
also yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
It's like I'm the same. I'm like I had the
headaches for like over six months and I had self
diagnosed myself with I'd be like, oh, you have migraines,
now right, you're going to menopause. And then it took
me being like on the floor crying, not being able
to move, and somebody taking me to the emergency room
to go to the doctor.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
And it's crazy because I would also wonder like, had
you gone in like that first month if you like,
women's health is so downplayed by doctors often like they
very well might have said it is a migraine, you know.
So I agree, like, we can't go back and be
like what if, what if? What if? Because who knows
even then what would have happened. But that's the thing
I try to push women especially, is like push for
(36:16):
your health, push back on your doctor, because they're still
doctors telling women today like, oh, you're too young for
breast cancer, and that pisses me off. And so I
tell them, oh, tell your doctor put that in your chart.
Then see how quickly their tune changes.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, And something else that I've mentioned, which I don't
know if you've found the same thing is make sure
that even if your doctor doesn't tell you to get
the other types of appointments, go get them mm hmm,
Like you should go get your skin checked.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Yeah, oh I did. I got my skin checked, my
colonosk piece next month, and mammogram.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
We gotta do all. I had to go get a
mamma grant, Like, we got to do all of those things.
It's not just and your doctor isn't going to hold
your hand and tell you yeah, book all the other appointments.
They're going to manage what they're managing totally.
Speaker 3 (37:01):
And I wish that. I'm so glad you said that,
because it's also like one of those things you like
learn as you go, and I wish like in high
school they're like, by the way, as an adult, here's
some things to look out for, you know, and you
don't you don't know. And thank god there's the Internet
and social media for like education, because otherwise, how like
how are people supposed to know to like?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
And everybody thinks like, oh, well, I don't I don't
need I don't need this because you know, in my mind,
I go, why do I need to get a mammogram?
I got one seven years ago when I got my
boobs done. Yeah, like no, you still have to go
back and get it checked. Yeah, Like now that this
has happened.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Yeah, so actually curious about that. Can you with I
assume Breston plants.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Can you do a mammogram or you can still do
the mammogram?
Speaker 3 (37:46):
You ask me, I'm like, I don't know yet because
I have my double mistectomy planned in November.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
Oh you do? Are you doing it here?
Speaker 3 (37:52):
I'm going to go to San Francisco?
Speaker 4 (37:54):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (37:54):
Yeah, yeah, I found a surgeon I really like. But
I was like, people, can you still do marragrams? Like,
I don't know, I'm learning. I was like, yo, because
so that's something you didn't.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Tell me before. You're getting a double misctomy. Yes, okay, yep,
And so is that two different surgeons? So you have
one surgeon that removes and then one surgeon that puts
in an implant? Or are you going to get one
of my friends has like kind of like a a
bar right, oh expander expander?
Speaker 4 (38:19):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (38:19):
Yes, so it all it's all varies, like there's that's
a whole complex thing. I am going direct to implant
because I'm going to try to stay like my same size.
An expander comes into play when there's radiation which will
shrink the skin or maybe the person wants to maybe
have a better, you know, size than what they had,
and so you have to expand the skin. So I
(38:40):
found someone who is certified as I guess both. I
don't know a surgeon. I don't I don't know the terminology,
but she can do the removal of my breast and
give me my new breasts.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
Did they say that there's Is it the same type
of healing as just getting a regular boob job or
is it more intensive? Have they told?
Speaker 3 (39:00):
I feel like it's more intense based on people I've
talked to who have had just implants versus the double mestectomy.
But I've also heard a lot of people saying like
their recovery was better than they anticipated. Even my surgeon
in San Francisco, she's like, yeah, some of my patients
will just you know, go wine tasting like a day
or two later. So I'm not like banking on them,
(39:22):
but I could. Yeah, people, overall, I feel like it'll
be better than I thought. But I'm if I plan
for the worst and it's better, then like that's a window.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
And did they say you had to have the double
mistectomy or is that a choice?
Speaker 3 (39:36):
That was my choice. It's very interesting especially a stage four.
I feel like a lot of us are kind of
like pushed to the side of like, well you have
it forever, what's the point, you know? And for me,
I had genetic testing done and I also have what's
called like an ATM genetic mutation, which slightly increases your
chance for breast cancer. And so I was just like,
(39:57):
I want these off. I want like the peace of mind.
I don't want any like, I want to do anything
I can to like support and so smart. Yeah, and
it's like why wouldn't you, you know, And so a
lot of people it's like fifty to fifty. Some people
are like, my surgeon won't let me. I'm like, maybe
that surgeon won't because my my immediate one in New
York didn't want to do that. She wanted to do
a lumpecto me. And it's like I'll find someone else.
(40:17):
And I did. And so that's what I tell other people.
I'm like, maybe your immediate surgeon doesn't want to that
doesn't mean you aren't entitled to have one and find
someone who will do it for you.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
You have to be an advocate for yourself.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
What advice would you give to somebody else that's going
through this.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
I would tell them, oh, cry again. I'll tell them
that the beginning is the hardest and that it gets better.
I think people will experience the lowest low that they've
ever ever gone through. Like the pain and sadness is
the noise of the cry. The way you cried is like,
I don't know I could cry like that. It is
(40:56):
so hard, And I will not downplay that in the beginning,
but I I want to tell people like there there
is like the other side of it. You know. In
the beginning, it's very scary, and there's a lot of
unknowns and you don't know what the hell is going on.
And then once once you have your plan and and
once you get through all those unknowns and you have answers,
like you start to like figure out what your new
life is like. It will you'll will never be the same,
(41:18):
that's the truth. And but it gets better and you
just got to like do do like you said, like
one one little step at a time, and and you
get through it, and once you're on the other side
of all of this chaos, you're like, holy shit, what
a year?
Speaker 2 (41:35):
Wow, we really gonna Yeah, do you have like a
bucket list.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
Oh okay, I let me tell you I have a
some kind of feel with the phrase bucket list, because
the term comes from like before you kick the bucket
and people want to go, you know, and I and
and now that I'm like stage four, I'm like, I
don't want to think like that. And people put this
one big item that they want to it's yeah, and
and and look if you have one, I don't like.
(42:00):
This is my own opinion, my own experience and thought.
It helps me live life. But I don't want to
have one big item that I do before I die.
I like to have like these little little life moments
of like, what are one hundred things I want to
do this year? I want to learn to dance with
my husband. I want to go rollerblading in Santa Marka.
Like I want to like remember to like enjoy the
(42:21):
little things, you know. And so for me, that's like
my version of like not I don't know what to
call it a bucket list, but like, I don't want
to have one big thing. I want to have a
hundred little things that remind me to like enjoy like
life because again, happiness, yeah, every day we are here,
I'm like, holy shit, I made it another day.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Oh my god, I know, is there anything else that
you want to share?
Speaker 3 (42:41):
No, I mean no, I just love having like a
genuine conversation with you. It's been great.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I feel the same way. And for anybody listening, like
this is just honestly a reminder go get your checks.
It's not. I mean we're the fact that we're both
able to sit here and have this conversation at iHeartRadio
and like be in a studio and do this speaks
(43:07):
volumes to why it's important to go get checked because
if we didn't. Yeah, so I think that's that's pretty huge. Well,
this is this a moment for me. Last question in
(43:31):
regards to cancer, when you found out that your tumors
are streak or when you get good news, Yeah, do
you do any sort of like celebration.
Speaker 3 (43:39):
Or I didn't even have a chance to. Like when
I got my it was a I think it was
a PET scan, maybe CT scan, I don't know. It
was a bunch of scans. The results came again through
my chart before I like, I'm in my uber on
my way home and the results already in and I
just like read it like I didn't care. I was
like I have to know. And then obviously my husband
(44:02):
were celebrating and crying, and yeah, I don't think I've
done anything to celebrate. The hope for us both is February.
We were in Hawaii. We were supposed to be having
like a little vacation together. We hope to kind of
get to redo that vacation as our celebration that like
things are going well. He's also recording his Netflix special
(44:23):
in December.
Speaker 5 (44:25):
Nice so to release the name or he just announced
it today actually yeah, yeah, yeah, So the title of
his comedy special is called Unscripted because he's.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
Like he does crowd work, but he also is a
comedian and he has written material. But he just announced
his tour dates and then I'm sorry, I just have
to brag about him. He also announced today that he's
donating one dollar for every ticket sale to BCRF, which
is a breast cancer nonprofit.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
So like, this seems like a really good guy.
Speaker 3 (44:59):
I had a date thirty men on TV only to
find my husband through my dms. But you know, whatever
gets me there. Yeah, I thought I was going to
be a comedian, and so I started following other comics
and he was one of them. And then one day,
hold on.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
You're not being a comedian.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Well, I mean, come on, can you imagine now, Like
I'm on stage ready to like say, like the punchline,
and I'm like, hold on, my cancer is kicking in.
I just lost the momentum. But there's a lot of
new materials obviously to think about when it comes to
like this next chapter. But he is the comic, and
I'm happy to be the supportive wife and hear the
(45:36):
jokes in the works.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
This makes me so happy.
Speaker 4 (45:39):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Okay, now we got to talk about a little bit
of reality television.
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Oh I know, okay, I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
I wanted to get the the hard part out at
the beginning. But always, for anybody that's on reality television,
talking about reality TV that you've been on, if you
could change one thing about how you were portrayed.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
Oh gosh, I don't know. There was this big there
was a big fight that happened with me and his
name was Greg. Anyone who watches the show, they know
exactly what I'm talking about. And honestly, knowing, my manager's
laughing in the background, knowing obviously, like how things happened.
(46:24):
I just wish I didn't take it so seriously. I mean,
I think producers would hate to hear that, because you're
supposed to fall in love and get engaged and stuff,
and when you're in this little bubble of reality TV
and it was COVID at the time. I was just
so devastated about this guy who I met three weeks
ago leaving, you know, and this fight, Like I just
wish I was just like more chill, just more like. Again,
(46:47):
producers would have hated that, but I regret like taking
it so seriously. Again, maybe it's the cancer knowing everything
I know down like that was just a fun little
moment of time.
Speaker 2 (46:56):
None of it, None of it mattered, you know, none
of it really mattered. Yeah, do you watch any other
reality television?
Speaker 3 (47:03):
Okay, I'd be curious to know if you do, because
once you're in it, it's like it spoils the magic
a little bit. I know too much now, and so
anytime I watch something, I'm like, I know what's going on.
Minus Traders. I do enjoy watching Traders.
Speaker 2 (47:18):
Okay. So if you could be on Traders with one housewife,
oh my god, and you can't pick me, God, I
know you're dying too.
Speaker 3 (47:29):
Oh my god. Okay, do you know the ones who've
already been on it?
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Yes, I can correct you.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
Well, can you tell me their names and I'll know
when you say it? Derenda?
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Oh, I think she's coming back on it this season, right,
that makes sense? Yeah, she was amazing, she's coming back
on Yeah, dang, you missed it. So now you got
you got to pick somebody that hasn't been on it.
Speaker 3 (47:50):
Maybe just keep bringing her back. I don't know. They
always choose a housewife though, So.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
So you don't watch housewives? I don't any Bravo shows.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
No, No, I don't. I to be honest, I actually
don't watch a lot of like TV or movies. And
my husband hates it because I can't even hold my
attention for like forty minutes into a movie.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
So what do you do if you have a full
down day?
Speaker 3 (48:13):
A doom scroll? Like, be honest, I'm just on social
media looking at cats, dougs. What is shopping? My phone
is my like lifeline to entertainment, and maybe that's what's
ruined me. Maybe that's why I can't watch TV because
even when I'm watching like reality TV, like I try
to watch Love Island for a bit, I'll still be
like half watching half on my phone.
Speaker 2 (48:33):
Oh, I watch Love Island.
Speaker 3 (48:36):
Okay. I do appreciate a one hour episode. And if
you're if you're staying on top of it, it's it's
pretty manageable.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
It's pretty manageable, except for then you miss a couple
and then you're like, that's what happened. I couldn't do it.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
I was in Greece and I missed like a week,
which meant like five to six hours of show, like
the show, and I was like, I can't do that anymore.
Speaker 2 (48:54):
No I have. Now I'm just going to watching like
old shows. Well, I always you know, I watch Housewive
because I recap it. Yeah, so I watch all the
different franchises there. But when it comes to other shows,
I'm like, I gotta watch old shows. So I know
I have like seven seasons. There's no rush. Yeah, but
I'm trying to get into Yellowstone.
Speaker 3 (49:12):
I've heard great things. I just finished Handmaid's Tale, which
is a little morbid, but I binged that that. I
did enjoy that that series.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
Okay, so that'll be my next one. Did you watch Onreal?
Speaker 3 (49:23):
Okay? I watched a few episodes when I was fresh
off the Bachelor, and it was actually so similar to
what I experienced, minus like I don't know the murder
or whatever that part. But I was like, oh, I
couldn't watch it. And at that point I was new
to reality TV and I was I was just a
contestant on The Bachelor, so I didn't even fully experienced it.
(49:45):
But I was like, I can't. I can't relive my
trauma via scripted television. But it did pretty I think
it was written by a producer that you used to
be on the like, yeah, be on the show. So
she did.
Speaker 4 (49:58):
A great job.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
And you never did Bachelor in Paradise. No.
Speaker 3 (50:02):
I showed up once as like a guest, a comedic guest,
which was such a flop. But my ex fiance was
on Bachelor in Paradise and that's of course why they
then bring me in. And but I think I did
it great because I I showed up and then I
did my little part that I was supposed to, which
was like a roast, plus the like you know, hey, Blake,
(50:23):
how you've been? And then I was like, I.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Hold on, I remember.
Speaker 3 (50:28):
The Canadian guy, the Canadian wildlife guy. Yeah, it's a
great guy, but you know it didn't work out. Yeah,
but he's still he's very supportive. Still, we both speak
so highly of each other. And even seeing him on
the beach in Paradise was fine. I think people was
that weird. I'm like, this is how we met.
Speaker 2 (50:47):
I felt, it felt yeah. And also when it's done,
it's done. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:51):
And then the produce so I was in my hotel
and the preachure like what if you like came back
and maybe because I was single at the time, like
I don't know, what if you guys came back and
I was like, nope, I didn't part. I showed up,
I clocked in, I clocked out, clicked my paycheck, and
I'm gone.
Speaker 2 (51:03):
You're like, I'm out. I'm not.
Speaker 3 (51:04):
I'm not playing into whatever storyline in this in this
series anymore. So I did f Boy Island, though I
don't know if you know that.
Speaker 2 (51:11):
Do I need to watch it?
Speaker 1 (51:13):
No?
Speaker 3 (51:14):
Sorry if any of my prettish are listening. But what
I loved about it is there's a money element, like
a prize element to it. And so in reality TV
with American laws, if there's prize money, you can't produce
like people because it impacts the outcome of like who wins,
Like it's like cheating the system. And so it was
way more fun to do f Boy Island because there
(51:36):
was money, and so a producer like, go have fun,
go play you know where it's like The Bachelor, it's
a little more, you know.
Speaker 2 (51:42):
And how long does the f Boy Island film for?
Speaker 3 (51:44):
I think it was also like maybe three weeks?
Speaker 2 (51:47):
Three weeks, yeah, And then how long is the Bachelor
and the Bachelor Atte film for?
Speaker 3 (51:51):
I think it was like six weeks, but we were
it was COVID season, so I feel like I think
it might normally be like eight weeks, but because it
was COVID and there was no trap fast when you
really think about it, and might I add you, actually
it's six weeks total, But that doesn't mean I spent
six weeks with the guy I got engaged to. I
probably spent combined over that six weeks twenty four hours.
(52:12):
And that's just me rounding up with the guy I
got engaged to. It was a cool u of like
one to two dates.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Maybe how many people did you bring into the what
fantasy suite? The fantasy suite?
Speaker 3 (52:22):
Mine was a weird season because like two guys basically left,
which is how embarrassing for me as the lead? Like,
oh shit? And then the two guys I had left
one love you justin, but like he was never going
to be in that overnight situation, and so I like
let him go before the overnight situation. The fantasy suite,
(52:46):
I should call it, And so I had one and
it was it was Blake. It was Blake. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:53):
Yeah. So after you finished The Bachelor, how did it
come about that you want to become the bachelorette or
did you just kind of fell in your lap and
then you were like I gotta do this.
Speaker 3 (53:03):
Well I don't know if you're like familiar with it,
but typically like the top four are the girls considered,
and I, if we're talking like a ranking, was eleventh place.
So I thought, at best I would get invited to
Paradise and I probably wasn't gonna go. I was gonna
go back to my bank job. I was like, nah, whatever,
I did it. I did my thing. It was fun.
I'm out. But when I got off the show, the
producers were like, hey, just like stay single. You know,
(53:27):
they don't because it's not a guarantee, you know, but
you know you're up against some other women with like
interviews and I think audience reactions too, and so to
be honest, I was I was not expecting to become
the Bachelorette, given like the ten other women quote ahead
of me who were just like so beautiful and so
worthy of being the bachelorette. And also my season with
(53:49):
Matt James, he was the first black bachelor, So it
was such a conversation about like people of color, and
so to pick like eleventh place White Girl, and then
Chris Harrison had just been fired, it was like it
was a whole thing. It was a whole mess. And
so when I was asked, it was like, like how
could I say no? Like it's such a great opportunity,
(54:09):
but it was not like welcomed fully because it was
such a shocking pick as like eleventh place White Girl.
So but of course I like, selfishly, I'm like you,
I'm gonna say yes. I'm not going to turn it
down because the franchise had thirty years of missteps that
I have to like help them look good, you know,
like I'm going to say yes to my opportunity. It's
not my fault the show took this whole time to
(54:31):
have their first black Bachelor, you know. So, yeah, I
was surprised I was picked. I think they were hoping for, like,
I don't know, some like progressive audience to come through,
because the Bachelor really is like the Bible Belt. It's
very like crazy enough conservative audience. But then it's like,
but the girl has three overnight dates and gets marri
like engaged in like three days, you know, yeah, like you,
(54:53):
we'll pick your lane. So when I did it, it
was like you either like loved me or you hate me.
And so I still experienced that to this day.
Speaker 2 (55:03):
Me too.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Yeah, you got to be polarized to be remembered, so
love me or.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
You hate me. Well, thank you so much for joining us.
We really appreciate it. And if people want to follow
you so they can continue on with your story, where
do they do? So?
Speaker 3 (55:15):
Instagram is probably my go to and it's at the
Katie Thurston.
Speaker 2 (55:19):
At the Katie Thurston follow her.
Speaker 4 (55:21):
Thanks