January 22, 2025 • 40 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental wealth podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. On today’s episode, Jay sits down with Andy Riise, Director of Mental Performance and Leadership for the Chicago Bears. Riise offers valuable insights on developing mental strength as well as ways for you to be confident in all aspects of life. Ever wonder how elite athletes/performers separate themselves from the rest of the pack? Here is the game plan!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome into Unbreakable Mental Wealth Podcast with Jay Glazer.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I'm Jay Glazer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Really excited for my guest today because the first time
I've had a guest like this.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
On my show.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
And what I mean by this, it's the first time
I've had an NFL team's mental performance coach. So good
friend of mine, Andy Rees joins also Andi is a
former US Army lieutenant colonel.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Obviously he's retired now it's an author.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
He's a keynote speaker in leadership in psychology, but he
had a combat vet with over twenty years of military service,
including in the Elite Special Forces Unit. He has pioneered
human performance programs like the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness and look
holds several degrees from I think Stanford Wharton.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Am I right on that way, smart? That is the point.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I went to Pace College downtown Manatta, I think its
Pace you in versuony now, So, look, you've done a
lot of amazing things. I really appreciate you joining me
because it's one of the things you know that you
and I met on the Bear sideline and we talked
about this. I am trying hard to get the NFL
to come up to the times, if you will. Like man,
there's fifteen strength coaches and physical trainers, and you know
(01:26):
medical trainers and doctors this, and there are twenty and
you got one therapist that's required to only be on
site three days a week according to the CBA. Doesn't
make any sense when everything starts with those six inches
between your ears. But a lot of teams don't have
a somebody like you who's a mental performance coach on
top of that.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
So I want to dive in to what you do.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But before that, how do you think we get the
league and the teams to kind of come Look, I
always tell guys mental health is so reactive. You guys,
don't just touch passes when you have the drops right
the forties when you think you're getting slow, you do
it all the time constantly. But well, why aren't we
working with a mental performance coach of going to therapist.
(02:06):
You're only doing that the sky's falling and then it's late.
We have We've got to get a lot more proactive
about it. Any How, we'reactive about it with the leak.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
It's a great question, Jane, and an honor to be here,
and thank you for being on this mission with me.
I mean you, you and I are both passionate about
teaching people the art and science of kicking ass between
the ears and uh, and that's really what this is
all about.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
And I think, how do how do we get mental.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Training in the hands of more people earlier in their
careers and lifespan? Right, And that's a great question, you know,
just looking at elite sports for example. I mean, this
has been around forever since the beginning of man kind arguably, right,
and stoicism and philosophy is you know, uh, really kind
of those are the stokes really the ogs and mental
toughness when you think about it.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Which is part of what I teach. Yeah, like Marcus Aurelius, uh,
for example, who was a you know, warriors scholar.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
These people have been around for a long time, and
my field has been around for about one hundred years.
But it's really only become it's not even mainstream yet,
we don't, you know. So you're wonder like, why do
these elite populations not have more people like me?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
And I think it's for a couple of reasons.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
I think one is because the medical model is really dominant,
and of course everything starts with mental health, as you
know full well, and I think it's really the premise
behind this show and your journey, my journey as well too,
you know. But it's really based on you know, identifying
and treating psychopathology to anxiety depression, so you know, it's
really about solving problems, right. But that's only two thirds
(03:32):
of the bridge that I look at, you know, So
if that's one side of the bridge. In the middle
of the bridge is like we're trying to help teach
people about resilience, about bouncing back from adversity, about being gritty,
and you know, that's preventing people from sliding into that psychopathology, right,
that mental illness and injury.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
But then there's this whole other band of the right,
the other side of the bridge that we're.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
All pushing towards, we all should be pushing towards, which
is mental performance, and that's executing tasks at the upper.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Range of your potential.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
And I think it's human nature, you know, because you know,
the medical side has really been dominant, especially in Western
culture where we have resources available and the predominant amount
of resources are really focused in the left hand side
of the bridge. And although it's really important, there's not
enough providers. We're not providing education and training to help
people move to the right. So if life and challenge change,
(04:21):
university is going to push you left of that bridge,
we got to fight to the right. The problem is
is that we don't have the tools, the people, the
resources to do that. And I think traditionally, you know,
baseball when you look at the major sports answer your question.
You know, so baseball around fifteen years ago mandated to
have both clinicians and mental performance coaches. So what I
do is, I'm a non clinical psychology practitioner, right, so
(04:44):
I have confidentiality, but I'm not state licensed, right so
I don't do counseling or therapy. You know that you
traditionally think of you come in, you sit on a
leather couch and talk about your problems.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Right.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
I am more like a strength coach for the brain,
right to where my job is to help athletes perform
better and when they incur, you know, challenge on and
off the field to be able to bounce back and
grow because of that.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Right.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
But the really The model that works that we're using
in Chicago is having both. Now there's some people that
can do both, but ideally you want two people who
can span that entire spectrum of the bridge. And I
think our leadership has done a really great job of
borrowing from baseball. They have both clinicians and mental performance
coaches to be able to get people across the bridge.
(05:27):
And I think just to look at the physical side
is you know, they're very similar. I mean, can you imagine,
you know, not having a team doctor, not having an
athletic trainer, and not having a strength.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Coach on a football team. You can never imagine it.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
So why the hell do we just have one person
temporarily when the mental game is everything in football and
then everything in life, and so we're trying to shit
that paradigm.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I think one of the issues also, look so I
obviously come from football reporting world, but from a flying world, right.
I was one of the first guys in the NFL
ever to fight professionally in mixed martial arts, all.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
The way back in two thousand and three.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Then I started to an MMA training program and started
training fighters and football players. I've trained a hundreds and
hundreds and my whole mindset of this unbreakable you know,
or a breakable mindset. If you're hurt and tired, you
will never ever ever know. Our guys cannot take a
stoolok between rounds. They got to pace back and forth,
and paste back and forth, and pace back and forth
(06:21):
and look and see where that person's starting to break.
We're not showing it. We're not showing it. And that
is necessary in football fighting. But that's what's holding us back. Yeah,
were outside that cage.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
That same thing. I think that's.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Why we are so behind, is like we'll show it,
we don't show it.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
You're weak if you show it.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And now I say, no, no, no, you got to
lean into your teammates, y no, and you got a man.
You're struggling, think of what this is going to do
for you as a team, thinking how much better it's
going to make you as a team. But I think
that's one of the things of that mindset that man
is warriors and gladiators. Yes, it's back now from being
even better warriors than gladiators.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
You're right, yeah, And you made a great point earlier, Jay,
to your point is that the mindset at the individual level,
the end user level, So the players and the coaches,
it's like, hey, it's like human beings. We don't have
a dashboard like a car to where we have this
check engine light. We can develop that check engine light
through awareness, but just true, like we don't have that
check engine light. And what happens when the check engine
(07:17):
light has when we're driving our car, you know, it's like, hey,
we blow past it until something bad happens. We don't
see a mechanic until there's a problem, right, And so
we don't have the tools and resources to do our
own preventive maintenance, right, And we don't really fix our
own cars anymore like we used to back.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
In the day.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Right, But we also don't understand the resources and what
they're for. So you don't just go to the mechanic
when your car is broken. You do preventive maintenance, and
you can sooop up your car engine. And I'm dealing
with Lamborghinis and you know, I'm dealing with high powered
Nascars or F one, whatever you want to do it.
And I think that that you know, traditionally, especially a
lot of our veteran players, you know, they think, okay, well,
(07:53):
well got me, here's what's going to keep me here?
And if I didn't need a guy like Andy before,
then why would I go to him now?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Right? If it's not broke, don't fix it.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
But the reality is, the longer you do it in anything,
the pro football, pick, any profession that's difficult, the longer
you do it, the more the mental game becomes your
decisive edge.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
And I think people at.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
The paradigm is starting to shift a little bit, you know,
because this generation jays. You know, even though we can
say they have all the lack of coping skills, I
think the research supports that. But this generation, more than ever,
is more open to mental training than any other generation
before that.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
And I'm really excited to be working with those people.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, and I think.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Also, you know, we talk about how necessary it is
again in the fight world.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Look girl fucking crazy taking those three steps out.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, but the amount of nerves you deal with, Yeah,
it doesn't like it right, one thing of a bar
fight breaks out.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
But if I tell you him him in three months
from now, you're.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Gonna be a national TV in front of millions of
people in a cage.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
We're allowed to try and kill each other.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
The nerve plus now you throw onto now the fact
that you have memes and social media and that pressure
and that embarrassment.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
It's so true.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Everything in the fight game starts no six inches between
the and we don't have enough.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
But that's whenever our work with fighters, we do a
lot of ship group.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But more than anything, I'm just look on that mindset,
being relentless, being relentless, how to kind of engine there.
And then by the way, hey listen, if things aren't
going right in the first three minutes, we got to
change a game plan on the fly.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
You have to be strong enough to be able to
do that and take that right, you know, recognize that
that's all mental wealth, mental health, mental right.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Mental health is not just depressing anxiety.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yeah, I think I love that idea, that of mental
wealth to because you have to invest in it. And
like you said, when you're in the fight and the
ship hits the fan, if you've waited, that's not when
you start training your brain right, you need to do that.
I look at four phases of every performance. There's planning, preparing, performing,
and processing. The majority of your work is done in
planning and preparing, so when you perform, you don't have
(09:54):
to think you just get out of your own way
and do it. But if you don't, you don't change
those brain patterns. With the mental skills that I teach
that beforehand, the likelihood they're going to actually benefit you
and be that edge and help you push through adversity
is the probabilities it's not in your favor.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Protect me the process.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
When God gets drafted by the barriers, Yeah, yeah, your
process with that, Like Caleb Williams, he gets drafted, your
process boom go you know Rome this year or yeah,
Ean Allen gets traded.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Over to you, like and I don't know if it's well.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I do want to know what's different from a guy
who gets drafted to a veteran player who comes.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Yeah, it's it's a great question, you know, without getting
into a lot of the details of the course proprietary
that you know about, I'll speak in general terms, and
obviously everything starts years in advance. With our scouting department,
and most scouting departments are are pretty similar this way,
where you're doing a lot of subjective you know, I
call it in the military world intelligence gathering. You're looking
for actual intelligence to look at their makeup, right, So
(10:50):
you're looking at their coachability, You're looking at what type
of person they are on and off the field.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
You're talking to everyone.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
That's in their you know, sphere of influence as I
call it, from their coaches, to their parents, to their friends,
to their girlfriends. So like we have you think a
scouts is kind of like people who are collecting intelligence
that create this makeup years in advance. And then as
we get closer to the draft, we're obviously now people
think of the combine, you know, which is we're looking
at their physical attributes, some that don't necessarily translate, you know,
(11:19):
over to the football field directly, but we're trying. It's
all educated guests, and so we also deploy psychological assessments too,
and so you think about the psychological combine.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
Element of the NFL.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Draft is using these valid and reliable psychological tools to
look at their what's called their makeup. So we're looking
at their attributes and their characteristics, and we're looking at
them objectively to give us information that tells us knowing
about their personality and their character which is kind of
like you look at characters like their values, purpose beliefs
that are the drivers that you know, drive them you know,
(11:51):
so if you're looking at okay, well do they really
love the game, it's a very common thing. Well, we
can actually look at what motivates them. We're also looking
at you know, their example, their football IQ. And that's
what we think when we tend to think of the
mental game, especially in football, we think of football IQ.
And there's a couple assessments that are out there. I
won't name them, you know, but they look at the
information processing, their learning style, their spatial awareness, their decision making,
(12:15):
their problem solving. And then there's another piece that is
often forgot about, and that's their mental toughness question, you know, quotient.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
That's looking at their confidence.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Their you know, looking at their ability to control themselves
and their emotions, looking at their challenge orientation, their risk orientation,
and looking at their confidence.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
And I think there's probably a last piece.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
In there too, you know that some teams look at
as well, and that's their emotional intelligence. And so I
think about that like being a thermostat. Your audience is
out there familiar with Daniel Goldman, that's his work, and
so that's like being a thermostat. So this is actually
what makes a great teammate makes somebody coachable and what
makes somebody a great leader, which is another thing that
I do with the Bears. So I will tell you,
(12:54):
jayfis I pick one thing that I look at is
that I want a player who's been through some hardship, man, Like,
I want a guy who's and adversity is relative and
stress is relative.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
Right. Okay, So if you're a suburban kid and you
had to set.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Out a year and not transfer, you know, then you
know you've had everything given to your life. Your resilience
is relative. If your guy like Josh Jacobs, if you
know his story.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
Yes, a dude who was homeless in the car, Yeah,
living in a car with his families, had to scratch
and claw and fight for everything he's had. That man,
that dude's right.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
There is a guy that I want, you know, because
I want to go to war with that guy. And
his relative coping skills that he's had through his experience
or that he's learned on his own, that's huge. That's huge, right,
And so I think what we're trying to do is
we're trying to create this way of assessing their makeup
that's subjective and objective to then provide information to our
leaders to make decisions on them, and then once we
(13:47):
assess them, we select them based on that criteria and
it's all weighted.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
There's a formula that goes into that.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
So then draft happens and free agency happens, and so
once we assess them, now we select them, we bring
them in. Now we hand that off the player development,
which I'm also a part of, and so we're.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Now taking that information.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Uh, players can opt out of taking psychological assessments, but
once they actually are part of the roster, we can
no longer psychologically test them according to the the bargaining agreement,
and that's something that you know is evolving over time,
but it's just privileged information right now.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
But if they've.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Elected in and they'd opted in, we now have this
information we can hand off to the coaches And then
I'm a part of as well too because I'm a coach,
to now understand how they think, how they respond to
different situations, and how the coaches match up from a
relationship standpoint to develop them and to get the most
out of them. So that then allows us to look
at that bridge that mental fritness groups. How do I
(14:42):
meet the player where they're at to get them where
they want to go, and that starts with the relationship.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
And especially Generation Z, they want a relationship.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Transactional things in the NFL are a long gone thing
of the past, and you're seeing coaches and players who
focus on transactional relationships, you know, are not having a
lot success. But you've got to form a unique bond
and connection at a personal level. And when you can
do that, you establish trust and rapport and a lot
of things are possible.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
So that real quick, Yeah, it's because of social media.
Nothing's real in our lives. That's real.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
That's why Dan Campbell works and Mike Tomlin work works
like they want something that is real, and that's you know,
there's there's we're dealing with bots on X and we're
dealing with filtered highlights that it's just full of shit
on Facebook and Instagram. So that relationship, you're right, is
more important now than ever. So let's say now you
(15:36):
get the lawship come in the process for a rookie.
Then we'll get to a veteran AFT. Now they're on
the team. What do you do to help these guys? Yeah,
they're on the teams. So what's cool is the NFL.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Yeah, So the NFL has a really cool program like
on our side as it's a total wellness program. So
there's some mandatory training and classes they have to go through.
That's that's outside of what the rookies doing that you know,
I mean that I call those life skills, right, and
so that has everything to do with their their mind,
their body, their spirit, their money. You know, it's some
and it's been developed and adjusted over time. And then
(16:07):
there's a component of that that I teach that has
to do with mental performance and resilience as well too,
and so there's that's a that's a big.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Part of what they do, you know, what you do.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Yeah, so I teach them about what mental performance is,
you know, because a lot of them, depending on where
they've come from, like you talked about, you know, even
even they may have a great psychology department across campus,
that doesn't mean the coach is going to allow them
to work with that sports psychology department.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
And there's that faculty.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
So you know, it alsus to understand what is their
relative experience working with somebody like leading, working with somebody
like our our team clinician. And again that allows us
to be able to understand a baseline as far as
what their work is. Some of them have received somebody
through their a sports agency. Of some of the big
sports agencies have people like me on their staff that
they can work with them, or they've worked with them
(16:55):
through their separate you know, quarterbacks coach or the position
coach that is part of their team outside of the
But then I think, I'm so it's really heavy on
the education. But the big thing for me is just
being available and being around so they knew who I am.
You know, and most of my money that I make Jay,
whether you're rookie or you're a veteran, is you know,
by having conversations, sitting down and having a meal, just
(17:17):
chopping up outside of football. It's just like you said,
just being a real dude. Like for me, being effective
at what I do starts a good leadership. And if
I'm a good dude and I'm someone that they learn that. Yeah,
all great leadership starts with good dudership. Man, if you're
a good dude, and like, man, I trust Andy and
I know that when I talk to him, I have confidentiality.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
It stays between us.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
What needs to stay between us stays between us. But
I also have a unique relationship because I want to
normalize mental training. Is that if they are willing to
disclose information and get their coach involved or get other
people involved, now we start to multiply the effects as
far as what this training looks like, because we're reducing
stigma and we're getting it out of the shadows in
this black box where it's been for so long, and
(17:59):
now we're actually true this like a true skill, just
like you know, blocking and tackling or the other fundamentals.
And so that's in a roundabout way, how I do it.
The veterans is a little bit trickier and for me,
my my really point of entry is really talking to
the leaders because if they're not familiar with me, they
haven't worked with someone like me on another team or
(18:19):
in the in this my first year with the Bears,
then it's it's a little bit more challenging, right because
they're like, why do I need?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
What do I need from Andy? And what's he going
to do for me?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
And so I think they're the way that I attack
that is through leadership, right and asking about you know,
and getting to know them on a personal level. Big
Dog is a great example you know who's only six years. Yeah,
shout shout out to Marcedes Lewis. And part of that
is this co opting for years.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
I got them in year four I think, and that
was your nineteen right.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Yeah, what an amazing I mean we talk about the
locker room guy. The guys a force multiplier, you know
when it comes to things like what I do. And
so for me to understand what it's like to be
in the l for nineteen years, I have no idea
what that's like despite all my experience. So for us,
it's just really having conversation about what is it like
to be a veter in the NFL and what's important
(19:10):
to these guys? How can I reach them? How can
you help me be my nuclear business card? Because the
players talk, and the players know who's real and who's not,
who they trust and they can't trust in varying levels. Right,
So if I'm not in with those key multipliers, then
I'm dead in the water. I'm not going to be
able to make a difference for the Vets, especially the
team captains, who are really the epicenter of influence for
(19:32):
the team. You know, great teams are player led. You
know that we talk about all the time. But you know, understand,
but they doesn't cstainly mean that they know how to lead.
And that's another piece that I do on the Bears.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Give me the four season mental toughness.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Yeah, four season mental toughness. This is the roadmap that
we operate office. So number one is confidence. So this
has to do with this starts with the belief in yourself,
how you talk to yourself, and then your interpersonal confidence
as far as how you influence other people towards common
goals using trust and rapport. Second one is control. I
mean this is controlling how you think and how you
(20:07):
respond in any situations. Controlling you know that what you
do impacts how you perform. It also is how you
control your emotions before they control you. Controlling your imagery,
controlling your imagination and then controlling your attention and using
it like a weapon system.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
The third one is commitment.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
At leach starts with motivation and discipline and understanding how
those two work together and how do you develop a
roadmap for success to be able to achieve your goals
but also to be able to learn even when you
don't achieve your goals and get the outcomes and The.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Final one is challenge.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
So this is risk orientation, This is the growth in
the fixed mindset, and this is how I manage stress
and pressure to be able to optimize my performance and
bast back when I inevitably go through challenges. So that's
the fourth CE model of mental toughness. A lot of
good science behind it, and it works.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Give me the Okay, let's say, so many doesn't have confidence? Yeah,
how do you help build their confidence?
Speaker 5 (21:02):
It's a great question. So you know, it really starts
with you know.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
How they tend to see themselves, right, and so, and
a lot of that is indicated by how we talk
to ourselves. And so the first step is then beginning
basically understanding of the mind body connection. Right, we have
these brain patterns I just just I mentioned before. These
brain patterns help us and it hurt us. So if
they understand how they think affects how they feel both
physiologically and my body and my emotions, that affects how
(21:30):
I behave, what I do or don't do, and that
affects how I perform, which is how do I how
do I drive outcomes? If they understand that connection, the
only two things you control in that cycle is my
attitudes and my behaviors, how I think and how I respond.
And if they can control their attitude, they control what
they say to themselves. So the way that we talk
to ourselves really ultimately determines not only how we see ourselves,
(21:54):
how we see others, ultimately who we become, because it
helps drive that flywheel, but also it helps influence the
what I call the doom loop when you flush yourself
down the toilet. So that's a really fun so and
then I have different techniques that I use to be
able to help their self talk and to create their
own playlist. So just like you listen to your own,
you know, playlist before your game to hype you up
(22:15):
or calm you down or get you focused, creating your
own playlist in terms of what you say to yourself before, during,
and after a performance really matters.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Well the playlist.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I would assume there's there's I don't know, but stew
or not. But it's not just the game, it's all
the other stuff. It's the other days of the week two.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
One hundred percent, and that that's what's so cool about
the Metal game Jay is that it doesn't require field,
it doesn't require a gin.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
You can do it twenty four seven three sixty five
in when you sleep.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
So the more reps you get, the better off you're
gonna become in terms of changing those brain patterns to
be more productive. And when you inevitably fall into a
counterproductive brain pattern, you can get out of that right
so ineverthly, when that negative self talk comes in, what
I teach my players and the science shows, is that
how do you accept you know, what I'm saying to myself?
How do I separate from it because I am not
(23:04):
my thoughts? And then what do I do about it?
So it's not just thinking, it's doing. And when you
when you can do that in a productive and effective ways,
you're more likely to get, you know, to perform at
an optimal level. And then, as I said optimal, I
don't mean necessarily like a peak performance where you're gonna
be in the zone all the damn time.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
It's not the goal.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
The goal is to be able to when you have
a C game, how do you get a C plus?
Because that's what world class performers do. The Michael Jordan's,
the Lebron's, the Kobe Bryants, you know the best of.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
The Tom Brady's.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
They're not always gonna have feel great and they're not
always gonna have a great game, but they're.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Able to squeeze every bit of juice out of what
they got. And that's the difference.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
I'm gonna throw myself in.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Let's say I'm a player, and so this is a
real thing that I have, because yeah, here's control, right,
life control, emotional control.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Yeah, control has sucked for a long time.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Right, there's a lot of players like about Burst that
they don't get the ball, and you try and make sure, Okay,
we can't do this anymore, but it's hard. So for
a guy like me, when I have a really gray meltdowns,
I self harm. Yeah, I tend to since I was
maybe in fifth, sixth, seventh grade till to this day.
I punched myself from the head and face over and over. Yeah,
(24:14):
I hit the artist. Fuck it sucks. Yeah, yeah, not
to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Like I know logically not to do it, but that's
the control. So so now was one of.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
Your players, Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Not able to have this emotional control. What would you,
you know, help with me? And I know this is
probably for you and the therapist together, but I was like, hey,
I got you here right now, I'm gonna fucking ask
you because I still you know, I still struggle with
it and it scares the shit out of people when
it happens, you know not to So how can I
build that control?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
So? Does that happen when you hit that cell phone?
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Has it happened in the moment, like right afterwards or
when does it happen after the right in.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
The moment I get frustraight because I don't want to
put my hands anybody else or anything else, no problem
destroying me lack of worth?
Speaker 5 (24:56):
So does that?
Speaker 4 (24:56):
And then how long does that last when you're kind
of like where you're feeling a lot that rage and
what hold on?
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Does that last few minutes? A few minutes? Okay? Gotcha? Yeah? So,
like I I've always I can relate to J.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
I mean, I've had temporar issues and that's gotten worse
with my diagnosis of post amount of stress things in
and out of combat, right, and I think.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
I think the most important thing.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
And I used to deal with a lot with like
pitchers who would come out of the dugout and where
they just got blown up in and they gave a
bunch of earned runs and they just would throw their
helmet and you know, or or a hitter who's in
a slump, or you know, you even see in football
guys slamming their helmet. They're pissed off, they're yelling at everybody,
they're not getting the ball, they made a mistake, or
they're frustrated because we're losing. And so I think the
(25:40):
important piece is is that you have all this energy
built up that's related to that stress of that mistake
right where you're mad at yourself. I think it's important
to have space to create space to be able to
do that.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
I feel like I.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Deserved to get beat down to wouldon't be the one
to beat myselfthing.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
You know? And I and I think that's okay.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
And I think it's like, you know, if it's you know,
and if people know you, and again it's about authenticity
and they know that you're a passionate guy and you care.
It doesn't matter what the outside world looks at it.
The people are looking at you saying, okay, well that's
just Jake because he cares a lot.
Speaker 5 (26:09):
Right.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
The problem is that becomes destructive when that starts to
bleed over into your next play in your next series
or your next performance and what that is? Does that
happen to you?
Speaker 5 (26:18):
Jay?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, it's well, it's just that, it's just you know,
it's scared, Rosie, it's scared. Remember like I'm Milton, Bam
bam bam. Then you're then you deal with a shame.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
After That's right.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
The shame cycle happens, right, Yeah, And and that's natural, right,
And I think that So when that happens, you want
to develop develop a routine again.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
You want to control your A and B button, right,
So the things.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
That you want to do so when you want to
have it out, you want to have have that situation
happen when it is in a healthy way. And then
once you're done, you then want to be able to
think in ways in terms of Okay, when what do
you what do you say to yourself in that moment?
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Jay? When you're mad? Are you are you beating yourself up?
Are you critical? Analytical and judgmental? Yeah? So what I
want you to do is I want you to I
want you accept that.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Yeah, that inner critic is designed to keep you safe,
so you're never gonna shut it up. So I want
you to embrace. I want you to give it, give it,
give it some space. Accept the fact that you're being
critical in your own worst enemy at this point in time,
and accept that.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Right.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
And then what I want you to do is then
I want you to actually do some things. They're going
to help you downshift to hit the brakes on your
nervous system.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
Right. There's a couple of things that you can do
right in that moment too. One is the breath. That's
like putting your auction mass.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
On right, because especially when you on your exhale, you're
hitting the brake system in your nervous system, and you're
actually releasing things like norpernephronin and serotonin that inhibit cortisol.
So now you're going from the fight mode to now
I'm I'm downshifting and I can regulate myself in the moment.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Now.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Once I start to regulating myself, maybe and maybe I'm
separating myself from my teammates or somebody else to where
they you know, maybe I go for a walk, I
go outside for a minute. Then I start to and
that's accept I shift from it. And I actually I
want you to observe that you know, and give that
give that anger character of yours, give it a just
like that movie Inside Out. Give it a make it
a character right in your mind's eye. I want you
(28:06):
to maybe it's a it's a little flame, or maybe
it's this the dictator like.
Speaker 5 (28:10):
Borat or something like that.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Whatever it is, I want you to give it a character,
like on your shoulder, and I want you to look
at it and say, like, hey, are you helping me
or hurting me?
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Right now?
Speaker 5 (28:18):
Right? And if you're hurting me right now.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
I'm not I'm not gonna shut you up, but I'm
gonna punch you and you're gonna shut up, and you're
gonna sit down. And then I'm gonna ship to the
next most productive thing in terms of how I think
and what I do. So now I'm gonna shift to
productive thinking and say, Okay, I don't want you to
think positive. I don't want you to blow the sunshine
and rainbows up your back because that that doesn't word
being positive or it's being neutral.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
It's like, Okay, that just happened. I just made that mistake. Okay,
this just happened. What are you gonna do about it?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Jay?
Speaker 5 (28:46):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (28:47):
And then that's asking yourself a question. And now I
shipped into What am I gonna do the next play?
What am I gonna do the next event?
Speaker 5 (28:54):
The next time?
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I learned from that because I've actually reflected on it.
I filtered out what I need, I got rid of
what I don't, and now I focus on the next
part of my mission. So I would say those steps,
and it seems like a lot because that is described
the first time. But what I do is I make
that easy. Three things that you can do that you
can remember that you put into practice, that when the
(29:16):
moment happens, you fall back on those because those are
your dominant brain patterns.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
I love that, dude.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
One of the things I've done is, you know, it's
no secret Michael Phelps and I were like mental health buddies.
Yeah starts Now, I half the time I still do
it to myself. The other half I call him or
I text him, I sent him a video or something,
and he gets me out of my habits and he
doesn't yeah me. But the cool thing here, Annie is
(29:42):
two years ago, three years ago, we'd never be able
to have this conversation all well. The reason why I
want to do this, I want to be like, Hey,
what's the worst or the most dramatic thing I do
and show the world. If you and I you're a
special operations military and working NFL teams, I'm in the
middle of football, of fighting and ball center dudeism myself.
If two of us can have conversations, it's open for
(30:04):
the world to hear.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
The rest of you all come to hell, Yeah, you
can run from each other here. We're like, yeah, man,
we're teammates. How do we build each other up?
Speaker 5 (30:12):
That's right?
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah, absolutely, And I think that's why we need we need.
I think I'm with you too, and I think that's
what people who think like we're trying to make a
difference in the world, to gravitate towards each other. And
for me, this is, you know, my bigger vision here
is just like yours. You know, as I've listened to
your podcast, is like, hey, let's get this in the
systemocratize it's getting in the hands of more people, and
(30:34):
let's normalize this. Let's make this just like like you know,
training training of your body or training your trade craft.
You know, it's the same thing. And we're way overdue
from the importance of training your mind. Because I mean, interestingly,
if I I ask players at all levels and performers
leaders at all the levels. And I've asked this question
for twenty years now, and I just ask them, hey,
what's when it comes to your success and what you do,
(30:56):
what's more important the mental and physical side, and give
it a percentage out of one hundred percent. Can't exceed
a hundred percent. I've never had anybody say less than
fifty percent or sixty percent is usually the norm. And
then I ask them how much time do you actually spend,
you know, working on your mental game? And in football,
it's a lot of it's film football IQ. They don't
understand the other part of it, and so inevitably it's flipped.
(31:17):
They spend more time working on there because it's tangible.
What's measured gets managed. But the deal is is that
if people understood how to train their brains to win
from within, now we're really not only starting to you know,
perform better and be healthier and happier, have better relationships.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
And I'm not saying it's God, I'm trying to solve
all the world's problems.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
I'm not trying to boil the ocean. But if you're
doing this one person at a.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Time, that makes a huge difference, right.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yeah, and it looked I've flipped it.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I trained twice a day, but I do twelve things
for between my years every single day. It's the morning,
it's the ninth, it's the air through. It's a NonStop thing.
And yeah, we have been over to kind of flourished now,
unlucky ever have before because I have, I guess produced
an effective fight plan for me. Yeah, my game plan
(32:08):
for me and realize it's all behind my rid cage
in between my ears, and I really understand this. And
here like damn, Jay Glazery just opened up and said
he beats himself and harms himself to this day, Like
oh shit, if he could say that and say objective
league and that they're like without any shame if you will,
or a little stand there, but not not so much,
(32:30):
like you know that we could do the same thing,
and this just gets us closer, Like, son, you and
I didn't know about each other, Like, oh, you know,
you talk about Mercedes.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
First time I ever opened up about shit.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Mercedes reached out and said, Damn, coach, I knew you're
crazy and that's a badge of honor in football fighting,
but I didn't.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
Know you're in pain. So I got it and it's checked.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Me every week of my life since. So he went
from a friend to a brother. Yeah about this?
Speaker 5 (32:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Can I give a tool for the audience today that
helped check and be a great brother too? Is you're
going back to that mental fitness bridge and if you
have show notes, uh majing, Justin and your team will
maybe throw this up there too. We look at that
bridge and ask someone here, are you surviving, coping or thriving?
And give it a scale one to ten. One is surviving,
Hey man, I'm barely hanging on. Five is in the middle,
(33:19):
I'm coping, I'm okay, I'm not great.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
I'm not bad. And then in ten is man, I'm
having the best day ever. Like, where are you at
right now? What number are you? What number are you?
Speaker 4 (33:27):
And then ask why are you that number right? So
let's and then the third thing you ask is what
can you do to move shift to the right? So
let's practice right now, Jay, Jay, where are you at?
Are you surviving, coping or thriving?
Speaker 5 (33:38):
What number are you?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
And what today? I'm probably I'm trying. I'm thriving today.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I did a podcast my wife before I'm doing with
you right now, Yeah, go work out right after.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
This, got some other stuff going. So I say, I'm thriving.
Speaker 5 (33:53):
What number?
Speaker 2 (33:54):
But I had a meltdown last night, and so I'm
a little shame to that. And it was over nothing,
but I had to melt down. Didn't hit myself, but
I wasn't proud how I behaved. So I probably said
I'm in a seven.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Probably we had a.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Nine, if not for last night maybe. But one of
the things my wife says is so good she doesn't
let me feel ashamed. That's huge, and we discussed it awesome,
like one of the biggest things in the shame. She's like, well,
then I'm not gonna let you feel that way and
we believe. Look we're good, okay, yeah right, So yeah,
(34:30):
because of fame of last night, what can you do.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
To move one number to the right between the now
and the end of the day, Jay.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Working forgive, forgive myself and also I realize, okay, she's
not going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Next time, we can always start over and like next time,
do better, Like give myself a confidence next time you're
going to do better, and remind myself the next time
you promised you gonna do better.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Yeah, man, what can I What can I do as
your brother and your battle buddy? What can I do
to what can I do to support you?
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Jay? I think you just did by asking me, right,
I think you just did and got me to put
a number there and go, okay, how can I move forward?
Speaker 5 (35:08):
That's cool, man, That's It's that simple, folks. You know
it's that simple, right, Really?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
I love this, dude, really cool. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Man. That's really really cool. And I know it's gonna help
a lot of people. Where else can people see your work?
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Yeah? Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
So My big thing outside of the working with UH
in the NFL right now is my my public speaking,
Like I really want to create more awareness understanding about
what mental fitness is and get the word out. And
so you know, check my my website at designed to
perform dot org. This is uh, this is my company
right there that you probably like that Jay, the kettle
down design to perform.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah, it was a grenade.
Speaker 5 (35:46):
I could be a grenade. We can yeah, we can
make it a mind bomb. Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
So, uh that is my design to perform dot com yeah,
dot org.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Design to perform dot org, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
And then if you want to hire me as a
keynote speaker. My my keynote is rise up, fighting to win.
Speaker 5 (36:06):
The war from within.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
And that's what you learn about what mental events is,
why it's important you learn about the check in, and
you also learn about how to develop a roadmap for
to develop yours and your team's mental fitness using the
four C.
Speaker 5 (36:17):
Model that I just described.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
And so I'm open for hires, So hit me up
if for your next event, virtual, in person or whatnot
to And let's get the word out right, let's let's
let's get after ways to train our brain to win
within so we can all lead, grow and uh, you know,
make ourselves on other people better.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
And you know, look, next year I want to come out.
I'd love to talk to the Barrie.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
We'll talk about I've talked a lot of different teams
and talk to the whole UFL and uh, we're gonna
we gotta keep this and again that whole thing of like, look,
we need that unbreakable mindset in a cage you're on
a field, but also unbreakable mindset has to be we
lean into each other, right, And what I've done also
when I coach a lot of these guys, and I'm
(36:57):
weaponized my mental health issues. I've learned to think at
my depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar everything.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
You say, where's it helped me? Where's it become my superpower?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Then? If it helps me, if I weaponize it, I'm
not ashamed by it anymore.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
How it feels? And then how could we use it for?
How did it end up helping me in my life?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Before I let you go, I asked all my guests, this,
give me your unbreakable moment, one moment in your life
that could have should have broken your did.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Now you came through the other side of that tunnel
stronger forever.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
No, I really appreciate this is really cool timing because
it's gone full circle for me my first time telling this.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
I appreciate the question. So I was towards the end
of my career military career. I just got, you know,
selected to be promoted to the tenant colonel. I got
selected to teacher the Air Force Academy. I was working
in the ten Special Forces Group. I had this badass team,
my wife, my four beautiful kids. I was on top
of the world man and I for whatever reason, I
made a mistake and you know, I made a decision
(37:52):
out of character that basically led me get into some
serious trouble man, and as a as a result, you know,
I went in front of a general officer at the time.
He's Major General Randy George. He's now the chiefest Staff
of the Army of four star general.
Speaker 5 (38:08):
At the time.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
He had a decision, mate, you know, so we've got
to punish this guy, the senior officer.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
He should know better.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
It's the first mistake I've ever made in my entire
career eighteen years at this point. And he decided to
give me a second chance, and me, I had been
in that position before, because as a commander, you're kind
of a judge, jury and executioner.
Speaker 5 (38:27):
And I was so thankful for that.
Speaker 4 (38:29):
I decided to dedicate the rest of my career and
the rest of my life towards making the most out
of that second chance by pouring and serving into others.
As as a result, I've always thought about this, if
I ever saw him again, how much I'd want to
thank him. And I missed him, but he came to
the Bears Patriots game. I found out about it through
our leadership, and I was able to get his email
(38:51):
and I was able to write him a really heartfelt
thank you to him telling me about what happened, because oftentimes,
as leaders, we make decisions that affect other people's lives
and they move on. Especially in the military, you move
every two years, and you know what happens to them, right,
you know? Did they this guy? Was this guy a
dirt bag and did he like not do anything with it?
Or did he do something good with it?
Speaker 5 (39:10):
You know? And I was committed to doing something good
with it.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
And my low point, Jay, you can appreciate this. I
was so depressed. I actually thought.
Speaker 5 (39:17):
About taking my own life, you know, and I.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Experienced depression and again I was I've had my own
mental health battles, and I've experienced post traumatic stress and
prost traumatic growth. But you know, I really there was
at a really low point into where I don't I
didn't know if I wanted to go on, if it
wasn't for my faith, my family, my friends and getting
help and actually putting my pride in my pocket and
going getting help, which I hadn't.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
Done at that point in my career.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Even though I had my mental performance coach, you know,
I thought that I had all the answers and I didn't.
And by you know, I had a good set of skills,
but I needed I needed other people, and I sought
that help. And just so I was able to reach
out to General George and I was able to thank him.
He's able to write me back, and I get a
little choked up even thinking about it because I got it.
You've done a good kid type of email back man,
(40:03):
And so General George, thank you, sir. If you ever
review watch this podcast, I owe you my life and
my career, and.
Speaker 5 (40:10):
I've committed to paying it forward.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
So I hope everyone else is inspired by that story
and does something good for somebody else today by check
it in.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
I love you, man, I appreciate it. Dude.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Uh glad to call your teammate and listen to any
stories like being unbreakable is not always being on topics.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
See it's all the.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Shit you go through. Hell, yeah, didn't break you forever.
You didn't take your life. So what can we do
to pay it forward for the rest of our lives
being of service to everybody else? Any rates mental performance
coach for the Chicago Bears appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
Really, Let's go
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome into Unbreakable Mental Wealth Podcast with Jay Glazer.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I'm Jay Glazer.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Really excited for my guest today because the first time
I've had a guest like this.
Speaker 3 (00:22):
On my show.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
And what I mean by this, it's the first time
I've had an NFL team's mental performance coach. So good
friend of mine, Andy Rees joins also Andi is a
former US Army lieutenant colonel.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
Obviously he's retired now it's an author.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
He's a keynote speaker in leadership in psychology, but he
had a combat vet with over twenty years of military service,
including in the Elite Special Forces Unit. He has pioneered
human performance programs like the Comprehensive Soldier Fitness and look
holds several degrees from I think Stanford Wharton.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Am I right on that way, smart? That is the point.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I went to Pace College downtown Manatta, I think its
Pace you in versuony now, So, look, you've done a
lot of amazing things. I really appreciate you joining me
because it's one of the things you know that you
and I met on the Bear sideline and we talked
about this. I am trying hard to get the NFL
to come up to the times, if you will. Like man,
there's fifteen strength coaches and physical trainers, and you know
(01:26):
medical trainers and doctors this, and there are twenty and
you got one therapist that's required to only be on
site three days a week according to the CBA. Doesn't
make any sense when everything starts with those six inches
between your ears. But a lot of teams don't have
a somebody like you who's a mental performance coach on
top of that.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
So I want to dive in to what you do.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But before that, how do you think we get the
league and the teams to kind of come Look, I
always tell guys mental health is so reactive. You guys,
don't just touch passes when you have the drops right
the forties when you think you're getting slow, you do
it all the time constantly. But well, why aren't we
working with a mental performance coach of going to therapist.
(02:06):
You're only doing that the sky's falling and then it's late.
We have We've got to get a lot more proactive
about it. Any How, we'reactive about it with the leak.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
It's a great question, Jane, and an honor to be here,
and thank you for being on this mission with me.
I mean you, you and I are both passionate about
teaching people the art and science of kicking ass between
the ears and uh, and that's really what this is
all about.
Speaker 5 (02:27):
And I think, how do how do we get mental.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Training in the hands of more people earlier in their
careers and lifespan? Right, And that's a great question, you know,
just looking at elite sports for example. I mean, this
has been around forever since the beginning of man kind arguably, right,
and stoicism and philosophy is you know, uh, really kind
of those are the stokes really the ogs and mental
toughness when you think about it.
Speaker 5 (02:47):
Which is part of what I teach. Yeah, like Marcus Aurelius, uh,
for example, who was a you know, warriors scholar.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
These people have been around for a long time, and
my field has been around for about one hundred years.
But it's really only become it's not even mainstream yet,
we don't, you know. So you're wonder like, why do
these elite populations not have more people like me?
Speaker 5 (03:09):
And I think it's for a couple of reasons.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
I think one is because the medical model is really dominant,
and of course everything starts with mental health, as you
know full well, and I think it's really the premise
behind this show and your journey, my journey as well too,
you know. But it's really based on you know, identifying
and treating psychopathology to anxiety depression, so you know, it's
really about solving problems, right. But that's only two thirds
(03:32):
of the bridge that I look at, you know, So
if that's one side of the bridge. In the middle
of the bridge is like we're trying to help teach
people about resilience, about bouncing back from adversity, about being gritty,
and you know, that's preventing people from sliding into that psychopathology, right,
that mental illness and injury.
Speaker 5 (03:49):
But then there's this whole other band of the right,
the other side of the bridge that we're.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
All pushing towards, we all should be pushing towards, which
is mental performance, and that's executing tasks at the upper.
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Range of your potential.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
And I think it's human nature, you know, because you know,
the medical side has really been dominant, especially in Western
culture where we have resources available and the predominant amount
of resources are really focused in the left hand side
of the bridge. And although it's really important, there's not
enough providers. We're not providing education and training to help
people move to the right. So if life and challenge change,
(04:21):
university is going to push you left of that bridge,
we got to fight to the right. The problem is
is that we don't have the tools, the people, the
resources to do that. And I think traditionally, you know,
baseball when you look at the major sports answer your question.
You know, so baseball around fifteen years ago mandated to
have both clinicians and mental performance coaches. So what I
do is, I'm a non clinical psychology practitioner, right, so
(04:44):
I have confidentiality, but I'm not state licensed, right so
I don't do counseling or therapy. You know that you
traditionally think of you come in, you sit on a
leather couch and talk about your problems.
Speaker 5 (04:54):
Right.
Speaker 4 (04:55):
I am more like a strength coach for the brain,
right to where my job is to help athletes perform
better and when they incur, you know, challenge on and
off the field to be able to bounce back and
grow because of that.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Right.
Speaker 4 (05:06):
But the really The model that works that we're using
in Chicago is having both. Now there's some people that
can do both, but ideally you want two people who
can span that entire spectrum of the bridge. And I
think our leadership has done a really great job of
borrowing from baseball. They have both clinicians and mental performance
coaches to be able to get people across the bridge.
(05:27):
And I think just to look at the physical side
is you know, they're very similar. I mean, can you imagine,
you know, not having a team doctor, not having an
athletic trainer, and not having a strength.
Speaker 5 (05:35):
Coach on a football team. You can never imagine it.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
So why the hell do we just have one person
temporarily when the mental game is everything in football and
then everything in life, and so we're trying to shit
that paradigm.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
I think one of the issues also, look so I
obviously come from football reporting world, but from a flying world, right.
I was one of the first guys in the NFL
ever to fight professionally in mixed martial arts, all.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
The way back in two thousand and three.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Then I started to an MMA training program and started
training fighters and football players. I've trained a hundreds and
hundreds and my whole mindset of this unbreakable you know,
or a breakable mindset. If you're hurt and tired, you
will never ever ever know. Our guys cannot take a
stoolok between rounds. They got to pace back and forth,
and paste back and forth, and pace back and forth
(06:21):
and look and see where that person's starting to break.
We're not showing it. We're not showing it. And that
is necessary in football fighting. But that's what's holding us back. Yeah,
were outside that cage.
Speaker 3 (06:32):
That same thing. I think that's.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Why we are so behind, is like we'll show it,
we don't show it.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
You're weak if you show it.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
And now I say, no, no, no, you got to
lean into your teammates, y no, and you got a man.
You're struggling, think of what this is going to do
for you as a team, thinking how much better it's
going to make you as a team. But I think
that's one of the things of that mindset that man
is warriors and gladiators. Yes, it's back now from being
even better warriors than gladiators.
Speaker 4 (06:56):
You're right, yeah, And you made a great point earlier, Jay,
to your point is that the mindset at the individual level,
the end user level, So the players and the coaches,
it's like, hey, it's like human beings. We don't have
a dashboard like a car to where we have this
check engine light. We can develop that check engine light
through awareness, but just true, like we don't have that
check engine light. And what happens when the check engine
(07:17):
light has when we're driving our car, you know, it's like, hey,
we blow past it until something bad happens. We don't
see a mechanic until there's a problem, right, And so
we don't have the tools and resources to do our
own preventive maintenance, right, And we don't really fix our
own cars anymore like we used to back.
Speaker 5 (07:31):
In the day.
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Right, But we also don't understand the resources and what
they're for. So you don't just go to the mechanic
when your car is broken. You do preventive maintenance, and
you can sooop up your car engine. And I'm dealing
with Lamborghinis and you know, I'm dealing with high powered
Nascars or F one, whatever you want to do it.
And I think that that you know, traditionally, especially a
lot of our veteran players, you know, they think, okay, well,
(07:53):
well got me, here's what's going to keep me here?
And if I didn't need a guy like Andy before,
then why would I go to him now?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Right? If it's not broke, don't fix it.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
But the reality is, the longer you do it in anything,
the pro football, pick, any profession that's difficult, the longer
you do it, the more the mental game becomes your
decisive edge.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
And I think people at.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
The paradigm is starting to shift a little bit, you know,
because this generation jays. You know, even though we can
say they have all the lack of coping skills, I
think the research supports that. But this generation, more than ever,
is more open to mental training than any other generation
before that.
Speaker 5 (08:23):
And I'm really excited to be working with those people.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Yeah, and I think.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Also, you know, we talk about how necessary it is
again in the fight world.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Look girl fucking crazy taking those three steps out.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
Yeah, but the amount of nerves you deal with, Yeah,
it doesn't like it right, one thing of a bar
fight breaks out.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
But if I tell you him him in three months
from now, you're.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Gonna be a national TV in front of millions of
people in a cage.
Speaker 3 (08:48):
We're allowed to try and kill each other.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
The nerve plus now you throw onto now the fact
that you have memes and social media and that pressure
and that embarrassment.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
It's so true.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Everything in the fight game starts no six inches between
the and we don't have enough.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
But that's whenever our work with fighters, we do a
lot of ship group.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
But more than anything, I'm just look on that mindset,
being relentless, being relentless, how to kind of engine there.
And then by the way, hey listen, if things aren't
going right in the first three minutes, we got to
change a game plan on the fly.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
You have to be strong enough to be able to
do that and take that right, you know, recognize that
that's all mental wealth, mental health, mental right.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Mental health is not just depressing anxiety.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Yeah, I think I love that idea, that of mental
wealth to because you have to invest in it. And
like you said, when you're in the fight and the
ship hits the fan, if you've waited, that's not when
you start training your brain right, you need to do that.
I look at four phases of every performance. There's planning, preparing, performing,
and processing. The majority of your work is done in
planning and preparing, so when you perform, you don't have
(09:54):
to think you just get out of your own way
and do it. But if you don't, you don't change
those brain patterns. With the mental skills that I teach
that beforehand, the likelihood they're going to actually benefit you
and be that edge and help you push through adversity
is the probabilities it's not in your favor.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Protect me the process.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
When God gets drafted by the barriers, Yeah, yeah, your
process with that, Like Caleb Williams, he gets drafted, your
process boom go you know Rome this year or yeah,
Ean Allen gets traded.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Over to you, like and I don't know if it's well.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
I do want to know what's different from a guy
who gets drafted to a veteran player who comes.
Speaker 4 (10:28):
Yeah, it's it's a great question, you know, without getting
into a lot of the details of the course proprietary
that you know about, I'll speak in general terms, and
obviously everything starts years in advance. With our scouting department,
and most scouting departments are are pretty similar this way,
where you're doing a lot of subjective you know, I
call it in the military world intelligence gathering. You're looking
for actual intelligence to look at their makeup, right, So
(10:50):
you're looking at their coachability, You're looking at what type
of person they are on and off the field.
Speaker 5 (10:54):
You're talking to everyone.
Speaker 4 (10:56):
That's in their you know, sphere of influence as I
call it, from their coaches, to their parents, to their friends,
to their girlfriends. So like we have you think a
scouts is kind of like people who are collecting intelligence
that create this makeup years in advance. And then as
we get closer to the draft, we're obviously now people
think of the combine, you know, which is we're looking
at their physical attributes, some that don't necessarily translate, you know,
(11:19):
over to the football field directly, but we're trying. It's
all educated guests, and so we also deploy psychological assessments too,
and so you think about the psychological combine.
Speaker 5 (11:28):
Element of the NFL.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
Draft is using these valid and reliable psychological tools to
look at their what's called their makeup. So we're looking
at their attributes and their characteristics, and we're looking at
them objectively to give us information that tells us knowing
about their personality and their character which is kind of
like you look at characters like their values, purpose beliefs
that are the drivers that you know, drive them you know,
(11:51):
so if you're looking at okay, well do they really
love the game, it's a very common thing. Well, we
can actually look at what motivates them. We're also looking
at you know, their example, their football IQ. And that's
what we think when we tend to think of the
mental game, especially in football, we think of football IQ.
And there's a couple assessments that are out there. I
won't name them, you know, but they look at the
information processing, their learning style, their spatial awareness, their decision making,
(12:15):
their problem solving. And then there's another piece that is
often forgot about, and that's their mental toughness question, you know, quotient.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
That's looking at their confidence.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Their you know, looking at their ability to control themselves
and their emotions, looking at their challenge orientation, their risk orientation,
and looking at their confidence.
Speaker 5 (12:33):
And I think there's probably a last piece.
Speaker 4 (12:34):
In there too, you know that some teams look at
as well, and that's their emotional intelligence. And so I
think about that like being a thermostat. Your audience is
out there familiar with Daniel Goldman, that's his work, and
so that's like being a thermostat. So this is actually
what makes a great teammate makes somebody coachable and what
makes somebody a great leader, which is another thing that
I do with the Bears. So I will tell you,
(12:54):
jayfis I pick one thing that I look at is
that I want a player who's been through some hardship, man, Like,
I want a guy who's and adversity is relative and
stress is relative.
Speaker 5 (13:04):
Right. Okay, So if you're a suburban kid and you
had to set.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Out a year and not transfer, you know, then you
know you've had everything given to your life. Your resilience
is relative. If your guy like Josh Jacobs, if you
know his story.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
Yes, a dude who was homeless in the car, Yeah,
living in a car with his families, had to scratch
and claw and fight for everything he's had. That man,
that dude's right.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
There is a guy that I want, you know, because
I want to go to war with that guy. And
his relative coping skills that he's had through his experience
or that he's learned on his own, that's huge. That's huge, right,
And so I think what we're trying to do is
we're trying to create this way of assessing their makeup
that's subjective and objective to then provide information to our
leaders to make decisions on them, and then once we
(13:47):
assess them, we select them based on that criteria and
it's all weighted.
Speaker 5 (13:51):
There's a formula that goes into that.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
So then draft happens and free agency happens, and so
once we assess them, now we select them, we bring
them in. Now we hand that off the player development,
which I'm also a part of, and so we're.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Now taking that information.
Speaker 4 (14:04):
Uh, players can opt out of taking psychological assessments, but
once they actually are part of the roster, we can
no longer psychologically test them according to the the bargaining agreement,
and that's something that you know is evolving over time,
but it's just privileged information right now.
Speaker 5 (14:20):
But if they've.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
Elected in and they'd opted in, we now have this
information we can hand off to the coaches And then
I'm a part of as well too because I'm a coach,
to now understand how they think, how they respond to
different situations, and how the coaches match up from a
relationship standpoint to develop them and to get the most
out of them. So that then allows us to look
at that bridge that mental fritness groups. How do I
(14:42):
meet the player where they're at to get them where
they want to go, and that starts with the relationship.
Speaker 5 (14:47):
And especially Generation Z, they want a relationship.
Speaker 4 (14:50):
Transactional things in the NFL are a long gone thing
of the past, and you're seeing coaches and players who
focus on transactional relationships, you know, are not having a
lot success. But you've got to form a unique bond
and connection at a personal level. And when you can
do that, you establish trust and rapport and a lot
of things are possible.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
So that real quick, Yeah, it's because of social media.
Nothing's real in our lives. That's real.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
That's why Dan Campbell works and Mike Tomlin work works
like they want something that is real, and that's you know,
there's there's we're dealing with bots on X and we're
dealing with filtered highlights that it's just full of shit
on Facebook and Instagram. So that relationship, you're right, is
more important now than ever. So let's say now you
(15:36):
get the lawship come in the process for a rookie.
Then we'll get to a veteran AFT. Now they're on
the team. What do you do to help these guys? Yeah,
they're on the teams. So what's cool is the NFL.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
Yeah, So the NFL has a really cool program like
on our side as it's a total wellness program. So
there's some mandatory training and classes they have to go through.
That's that's outside of what the rookies doing that you know,
I mean that I call those life skills, right, and
so that has everything to do with their their mind,
their body, their spirit, their money. You know, it's some
and it's been developed and adjusted over time. And then
(16:07):
there's a component of that that I teach that has
to do with mental performance and resilience as well too,
and so there's that's a that's a big.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Part of what they do, you know, what you do.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Yeah, so I teach them about what mental performance is,
you know, because a lot of them, depending on where
they've come from, like you talked about, you know, even
even they may have a great psychology department across campus,
that doesn't mean the coach is going to allow them
to work with that sports psychology department.
Speaker 5 (16:33):
And there's that faculty.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
So you know, it alsus to understand what is their
relative experience working with somebody like leading, working with somebody
like our our team clinician. And again that allows us
to be able to understand a baseline as far as
what their work is. Some of them have received somebody
through their a sports agency. Of some of the big
sports agencies have people like me on their staff that
they can work with them, or they've worked with them
(16:55):
through their separate you know, quarterbacks coach or the position
coach that is part of their team outside of the
But then I think, I'm so it's really heavy on
the education. But the big thing for me is just
being available and being around so they knew who I am.
You know, and most of my money that I make Jay,
whether you're rookie or you're a veteran, is you know,
by having conversations, sitting down and having a meal, just
(17:17):
chopping up outside of football. It's just like you said,
just being a real dude. Like for me, being effective
at what I do starts a good leadership. And if
I'm a good dude and I'm someone that they learn that. Yeah,
all great leadership starts with good dudership. Man, if you're
a good dude, and like, man, I trust Andy and
I know that when I talk to him, I have confidentiality.
Speaker 5 (17:36):
It stays between us.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
What needs to stay between us stays between us. But
I also have a unique relationship because I want to
normalize mental training. Is that if they are willing to
disclose information and get their coach involved or get other
people involved, now we start to multiply the effects as
far as what this training looks like, because we're reducing
stigma and we're getting it out of the shadows in
this black box where it's been for so long, and
(17:59):
now we're actually true this like a true skill, just
like you know, blocking and tackling or the other fundamentals.
And so that's in a roundabout way, how I do it.
The veterans is a little bit trickier and for me,
my my really point of entry is really talking to
the leaders because if they're not familiar with me, they
haven't worked with someone like me on another team or
(18:19):
in the in this my first year with the Bears,
then it's it's a little bit more challenging, right because
they're like, why do I need?
Speaker 5 (18:26):
What do I need from Andy? And what's he going
to do for me?
Speaker 4 (18:28):
And so I think they're the way that I attack
that is through leadership, right and asking about you know,
and getting to know them on a personal level. Big
Dog is a great example you know who's only six years. Yeah,
shout shout out to Marcedes Lewis. And part of that
is this co opting for years.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
I got them in year four I think, and that
was your nineteen right.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Yeah, what an amazing I mean we talk about the
locker room guy. The guys a force multiplier, you know
when it comes to things like what I do. And
so for me to understand what it's like to be
in the l for nineteen years, I have no idea
what that's like despite all my experience. So for us,
it's just really having conversation about what is it like
to be a veter in the NFL and what's important
(19:10):
to these guys? How can I reach them? How can
you help me be my nuclear business card? Because the
players talk, and the players know who's real and who's not,
who they trust and they can't trust in varying levels. Right,
So if I'm not in with those key multipliers, then
I'm dead in the water. I'm not going to be
able to make a difference for the Vets, especially the
team captains, who are really the epicenter of influence for
(19:32):
the team. You know, great teams are player led. You
know that we talk about all the time. But you know, understand,
but they doesn't cstainly mean that they know how to lead.
And that's another piece that I do on the Bears.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Give me the four season mental toughness.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Yeah, four season mental toughness. This is the roadmap that
we operate office. So number one is confidence. So this
has to do with this starts with the belief in yourself,
how you talk to yourself, and then your interpersonal confidence
as far as how you influence other people towards common
goals using trust and rapport. Second one is control. I
mean this is controlling how you think and how you
(20:07):
respond in any situations. Controlling you know that what you
do impacts how you perform. It also is how you
control your emotions before they control you. Controlling your imagery,
controlling your imagination and then controlling your attention and using
it like a weapon system.
Speaker 5 (20:23):
The third one is commitment.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
At leach starts with motivation and discipline and understanding how
those two work together and how do you develop a
roadmap for success to be able to achieve your goals
but also to be able to learn even when you
don't achieve your goals and get the outcomes and The.
Speaker 5 (20:38):
Final one is challenge.
Speaker 4 (20:40):
So this is risk orientation, This is the growth in
the fixed mindset, and this is how I manage stress
and pressure to be able to optimize my performance and
bast back when I inevitably go through challenges. So that's
the fourth CE model of mental toughness. A lot of
good science behind it, and it works.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Give me the Okay, let's say, so many doesn't have confidence? Yeah,
how do you help build their confidence?
Speaker 5 (21:02):
It's a great question. So you know, it really starts
with you know.
Speaker 4 (21:06):
How they tend to see themselves, right, and so, and
a lot of that is indicated by how we talk
to ourselves. And so the first step is then beginning
basically understanding of the mind body connection. Right, we have
these brain patterns I just just I mentioned before. These
brain patterns help us and it hurt us. So if
they understand how they think affects how they feel both
physiologically and my body and my emotions, that affects how
(21:30):
I behave, what I do or don't do, and that
affects how I perform, which is how do I how
do I drive outcomes? If they understand that connection, the
only two things you control in that cycle is my
attitudes and my behaviors, how I think and how I respond.
And if they can control their attitude, they control what
they say to themselves. So the way that we talk
to ourselves really ultimately determines not only how we see ourselves,
(21:54):
how we see others, ultimately who we become, because it
helps drive that flywheel, but also it helps influence the
what I call the doom loop when you flush yourself
down the toilet. So that's a really fun so and
then I have different techniques that I use to be
able to help their self talk and to create their
own playlist. So just like you listen to your own,
you know, playlist before your game to hype you up
(22:15):
or calm you down or get you focused, creating your
own playlist in terms of what you say to yourself before, during,
and after a performance really matters.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Well the playlist.
Speaker 2 (22:25):
I would assume there's there's I don't know, but stew
or not. But it's not just the game, it's all
the other stuff. It's the other days of the week two.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
One hundred percent, and that that's what's so cool about
the Metal game Jay is that it doesn't require field,
it doesn't require a gin.
Speaker 5 (22:39):
You can do it twenty four seven three sixty five
in when you sleep.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
So the more reps you get, the better off you're
gonna become in terms of changing those brain patterns to
be more productive. And when you inevitably fall into a
counterproductive brain pattern, you can get out of that right
so ineverthly, when that negative self talk comes in, what
I teach my players and the science shows, is that
how do you accept you know, what I'm saying to myself?
How do I separate from it because I am not
(23:04):
my thoughts? And then what do I do about it?
So it's not just thinking, it's doing. And when you
when you can do that in a productive and effective ways,
you're more likely to get, you know, to perform at
an optimal level. And then, as I said optimal, I
don't mean necessarily like a peak performance where you're gonna
be in the zone all the damn time.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
It's not the goal.
Speaker 4 (23:21):
The goal is to be able to when you have
a C game, how do you get a C plus?
Because that's what world class performers do. The Michael Jordan's,
the Lebron's, the Kobe Bryants, you know the best of.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
The Tom Brady's.
Speaker 4 (23:33):
They're not always gonna have feel great and they're not
always gonna have a great game, but they're.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
Able to squeeze every bit of juice out of what
they got. And that's the difference.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
I'm gonna throw myself in.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Let's say I'm a player, and so this is a
real thing that I have, because yeah, here's control, right,
life control, emotional control.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Yeah, control has sucked for a long time.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Right, there's a lot of players like about Burst that
they don't get the ball, and you try and make sure, Okay,
we can't do this anymore, but it's hard. So for
a guy like me, when I have a really gray meltdowns,
I self harm. Yeah, I tend to since I was
maybe in fifth, sixth, seventh grade till to this day.
I punched myself from the head and face over and over. Yeah,
(24:14):
I hit the artist. Fuck it sucks. Yeah, yeah, not
to do it.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Like I know logically not to do it, but that's
the control. So so now was one of.
Speaker 5 (24:21):
Your players, Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Not able to have this emotional control. What would you,
you know, help with me? And I know this is
probably for you and the therapist together, but I was like, hey,
I got you here right now, I'm gonna fucking ask
you because I still you know, I still struggle with
it and it scares the shit out of people when
it happens, you know not to So how can I
build that control?
Speaker 5 (24:42):
So? Does that happen when you hit that cell phone?
Speaker 4 (24:44):
Has it happened in the moment, like right afterwards or
when does it happen after the right in.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
The moment I get frustraight because I don't want to
put my hands anybody else or anything else, no problem
destroying me lack of worth?
Speaker 5 (24:56):
So does that?
Speaker 4 (24:56):
And then how long does that last when you're kind
of like where you're feeling a lot that rage and
what hold on?
Speaker 5 (25:01):
Does that last few minutes? A few minutes? Okay? Gotcha? Yeah? So,
like I I've always I can relate to J.
Speaker 4 (25:07):
I mean, I've had temporar issues and that's gotten worse
with my diagnosis of post amount of stress things in
and out of combat, right, and I think.
Speaker 5 (25:16):
I think the most important thing.
Speaker 4 (25:17):
And I used to deal with a lot with like
pitchers who would come out of the dugout and where
they just got blown up in and they gave a
bunch of earned runs and they just would throw their
helmet and you know, or or a hitter who's in
a slump, or you know, you even see in football
guys slamming their helmet. They're pissed off, they're yelling at everybody,
they're not getting the ball, they made a mistake, or
they're frustrated because we're losing. And so I think the
(25:40):
important piece is is that you have all this energy
built up that's related to that stress of that mistake
right where you're mad at yourself. I think it's important
to have space to create space to be able to
do that.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
I feel like I.
Speaker 3 (25:51):
Deserved to get beat down to wouldon't be the one
to beat myselfthing.
Speaker 5 (25:55):
You know? And I and I think that's okay.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
And I think it's like, you know, if it's you know,
and if people know you, and again it's about authenticity
and they know that you're a passionate guy and you care.
It doesn't matter what the outside world looks at it.
The people are looking at you saying, okay, well that's
just Jake because he cares a lot.
Speaker 5 (26:09):
Right.
Speaker 4 (26:09):
The problem is that becomes destructive when that starts to
bleed over into your next play in your next series
or your next performance and what that is? Does that
happen to you?
Speaker 5 (26:18):
Jay?
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, it's well, it's just that, it's just you know,
it's scared, Rosie, it's scared. Remember like I'm Milton, Bam
bam bam. Then you're then you deal with a shame.
Speaker 5 (26:27):
After That's right.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
The shame cycle happens, right, Yeah, And and that's natural, right,
And I think that So when that happens, you want
to develop develop a routine again.
Speaker 5 (26:36):
You want to control your A and B button, right,
So the things.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
That you want to do so when you want to
have it out, you want to have have that situation
happen when it is in a healthy way. And then
once you're done, you then want to be able to
think in ways in terms of Okay, when what do
you what do you say to yourself in that moment?
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Jay? When you're mad? Are you are you beating yourself up?
Are you critical? Analytical and judgmental? Yeah? So what I
want you to do is I want you to I
want you accept that.
Speaker 4 (27:00):
Yeah, that inner critic is designed to keep you safe,
so you're never gonna shut it up. So I want
you to embrace. I want you to give it, give it,
give it some space. Accept the fact that you're being
critical in your own worst enemy at this point in time,
and accept that.
Speaker 5 (27:12):
Right.
Speaker 4 (27:13):
And then what I want you to do is then
I want you to actually do some things. They're going
to help you downshift to hit the brakes on your
nervous system.
Speaker 5 (27:20):
Right. There's a couple of things that you can do
right in that moment too. One is the breath. That's
like putting your auction mass.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
On right, because especially when you on your exhale, you're
hitting the brake system in your nervous system, and you're
actually releasing things like norpernephronin and serotonin that inhibit cortisol.
So now you're going from the fight mode to now
I'm I'm downshifting and I can regulate myself in the moment.
Speaker 5 (27:44):
Now.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
Once I start to regulating myself, maybe and maybe I'm
separating myself from my teammates or somebody else to where
they you know, maybe I go for a walk, I
go outside for a minute. Then I start to and
that's accept I shift from it. And I actually I
want you to observe that you know, and give that
give that anger character of yours, give it a just
like that movie Inside Out. Give it a make it
a character right in your mind's eye. I want you
(28:06):
to maybe it's a it's a little flame, or maybe
it's this the dictator like.
Speaker 5 (28:10):
Borat or something like that.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Whatever it is, I want you to give it a character,
like on your shoulder, and I want you to look
at it and say, like, hey, are you helping me
or hurting me?
Speaker 3 (28:17):
Right now?
Speaker 5 (28:18):
Right? And if you're hurting me right now.
Speaker 4 (28:20):
I'm not I'm not gonna shut you up, but I'm
gonna punch you and you're gonna shut up, and you're
gonna sit down. And then I'm gonna ship to the
next most productive thing in terms of how I think
and what I do. So now I'm gonna shift to
productive thinking and say, Okay, I don't want you to
think positive. I don't want you to blow the sunshine
and rainbows up your back because that that doesn't word
being positive or it's being neutral.
Speaker 5 (28:40):
It's like, Okay, that just happened. I just made that mistake. Okay,
this just happened. What are you gonna do about it?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Jay?
Speaker 5 (28:46):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (28:47):
And then that's asking yourself a question. And now I
shipped into What am I gonna do the next play?
What am I gonna do the next event?
Speaker 5 (28:54):
The next time?
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I learned from that because I've actually reflected on it.
I filtered out what I need, I got rid of
what I don't, and now I focus on the next
part of my mission. So I would say those steps,
and it seems like a lot because that is described
the first time. But what I do is I make
that easy. Three things that you can do that you
can remember that you put into practice, that when the
(29:16):
moment happens, you fall back on those because those are
your dominant brain patterns.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
I love that, dude.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
One of the things I've done is, you know, it's
no secret Michael Phelps and I were like mental health buddies.
Yeah starts Now, I half the time I still do
it to myself. The other half I call him or
I text him, I sent him a video or something,
and he gets me out of my habits and he
doesn't yeah me. But the cool thing here, Annie is
(29:42):
two years ago, three years ago, we'd never be able
to have this conversation all well. The reason why I
want to do this, I want to be like, Hey,
what's the worst or the most dramatic thing I do
and show the world. If you and I you're a
special operations military and working NFL teams, I'm in the
middle of football, of fighting and ball center dudeism myself.
If two of us can have conversations, it's open for
(30:04):
the world to hear.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
The rest of you all come to hell, Yeah, you
can run from each other here. We're like, yeah, man,
we're teammates. How do we build each other up?
Speaker 5 (30:12):
That's right?
Speaker 4 (30:13):
Yeah, absolutely, And I think that's why we need we need.
I think I'm with you too, and I think that's
what people who think like we're trying to make a
difference in the world, to gravitate towards each other. And
for me, this is, you know, my bigger vision here
is just like yours. You know, as I've listened to
your podcast, is like, hey, let's get this in the
systemocratize it's getting in the hands of more people, and
(30:34):
let's normalize this. Let's make this just like like you know,
training training of your body or training your trade craft.
You know, it's the same thing. And we're way overdue
from the importance of training your mind. Because I mean, interestingly,
if I I ask players at all levels and performers
leaders at all the levels. And I've asked this question
for twenty years now, and I just ask them, hey,
what's when it comes to your success and what you do,
(30:56):
what's more important the mental and physical side, and give
it a percentage out of one hundred percent. Can't exceed
a hundred percent. I've never had anybody say less than
fifty percent or sixty percent is usually the norm. And
then I ask them how much time do you actually spend,
you know, working on your mental game? And in football,
it's a lot of it's film football IQ. They don't
understand the other part of it, and so inevitably it's flipped.
(31:17):
They spend more time working on there because it's tangible.
What's measured gets managed. But the deal is is that
if people understood how to train their brains to win
from within, now we're really not only starting to you know,
perform better and be healthier and happier, have better relationships.
Speaker 5 (31:35):
And I'm not saying it's God, I'm trying to solve
all the world's problems.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
I'm not trying to boil the ocean. But if you're
doing this one person at a.
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Time, that makes a huge difference, right.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yeah, and it looked I've flipped it.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I trained twice a day, but I do twelve things
for between my years every single day. It's the morning,
it's the ninth, it's the air through. It's a NonStop thing.
And yeah, we have been over to kind of flourished now,
unlucky ever have before because I have, I guess produced
an effective fight plan for me. Yeah, my game plan
(32:08):
for me and realize it's all behind my rid cage
in between my ears, and I really understand this. And
here like damn, Jay Glazery just opened up and said
he beats himself and harms himself to this day, Like
oh shit, if he could say that and say objective
league and that they're like without any shame if you will,
or a little stand there, but not not so much,
(32:30):
like you know that we could do the same thing,
and this just gets us closer, Like, son, you and
I didn't know about each other, Like, oh, you know,
you talk about Mercedes.
Speaker 3 (32:38):
First time I ever opened up about shit.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Mercedes reached out and said, Damn, coach, I knew you're
crazy and that's a badge of honor in football fighting,
but I didn't.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
Know you're in pain. So I got it and it's checked.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Me every week of my life since. So he went
from a friend to a brother. Yeah about this?
Speaker 5 (32:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (32:57):
Can I give a tool for the audience today that
helped check and be a great brother too? Is you're
going back to that mental fitness bridge and if you
have show notes, uh majing, Justin and your team will
maybe throw this up there too. We look at that
bridge and ask someone here, are you surviving, coping or thriving?
And give it a scale one to ten. One is surviving,
Hey man, I'm barely hanging on. Five is in the middle,
(33:19):
I'm coping, I'm okay, I'm not great.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
I'm not bad. And then in ten is man, I'm
having the best day ever. Like, where are you at
right now? What number are you? What number are you?
Speaker 4 (33:27):
And then ask why are you that number right? So
let's and then the third thing you ask is what
can you do to move shift to the right? So
let's practice right now, Jay, Jay, where are you at?
Are you surviving, coping or thriving?
Speaker 5 (33:38):
What number are you?
Speaker 3 (33:39):
And what today? I'm probably I'm trying. I'm thriving today.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
I did a podcast my wife before I'm doing with
you right now, Yeah, go work out right after.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
This, got some other stuff going. So I say, I'm thriving.
Speaker 5 (33:53):
What number?
Speaker 2 (33:54):
But I had a meltdown last night, and so I'm
a little shame to that. And it was over nothing,
but I had to melt down. Didn't hit myself, but
I wasn't proud how I behaved. So I probably said
I'm in a seven.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Probably we had a.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Nine, if not for last night maybe. But one of
the things my wife says is so good she doesn't
let me feel ashamed. That's huge, and we discussed it awesome,
like one of the biggest things in the shame. She's like, well,
then I'm not gonna let you feel that way and
we believe. Look we're good, okay, yeah right, So yeah,
(34:30):
because of fame of last night, what can you do.
Speaker 5 (34:33):
To move one number to the right between the now
and the end of the day, Jay.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Working forgive, forgive myself and also I realize, okay, she's
not going anywhere.
Speaker 2 (34:46):
Next time, we can always start over and like next time,
do better, Like give myself a confidence next time you're
going to do better, and remind myself the next time
you promised you gonna do better.
Speaker 5 (34:56):
Yeah, man, what can I What can I do as
your brother and your battle buddy? What can I do
to what can I do to support you?
Speaker 2 (35:01):
Jay? I think you just did by asking me, right,
I think you just did and got me to put
a number there and go, okay, how can I move forward?
Speaker 5 (35:08):
That's cool, man, That's It's that simple, folks. You know
it's that simple, right, Really?
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
I love this, dude, really cool. I appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Man. That's really really cool. And I know it's gonna help
a lot of people. Where else can people see your work?
Speaker 5 (35:22):
Yeah? Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
So My big thing outside of the working with UH
in the NFL right now is my my public speaking,
Like I really want to create more awareness understanding about
what mental fitness is and get the word out. And
so you know, check my my website at designed to
perform dot org. This is uh, this is my company
right there that you probably like that Jay, the kettle
down design to perform.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Yeah, it was a grenade.
Speaker 5 (35:46):
I could be a grenade. We can yeah, we can
make it a mind bomb. Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
So, uh that is my design to perform dot com yeah,
dot org.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Design to perform dot org, yes, sir.
Speaker 2 (36:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:00):
And then if you want to hire me as a
keynote speaker. My my keynote is rise up, fighting to win.
Speaker 5 (36:06):
The war from within.
Speaker 4 (36:07):
And that's what you learn about what mental events is,
why it's important you learn about the check in, and
you also learn about how to develop a roadmap for
to develop yours and your team's mental fitness using the
four C.
Speaker 5 (36:17):
Model that I just described.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
And so I'm open for hires, So hit me up
if for your next event, virtual, in person or whatnot
to And let's get the word out right, let's let's
let's get after ways to train our brain to win
within so we can all lead, grow and uh, you know,
make ourselves on other people better.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
And you know, look, next year I want to come out.
I'd love to talk to the Barrie.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
We'll talk about I've talked a lot of different teams
and talk to the whole UFL and uh, we're gonna
we gotta keep this and again that whole thing of like, look,
we need that unbreakable mindset in a cage you're on
a field, but also unbreakable mindset has to be we
lean into each other, right, And what I've done also
when I coach a lot of these guys, and I'm
(36:57):
weaponized my mental health issues. I've learned to think at
my depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar everything.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
You say, where's it helped me? Where's it become my superpower?
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Then? If it helps me, if I weaponize it, I'm
not ashamed by it anymore.
Speaker 3 (37:11):
How it feels? And then how could we use it for?
How did it end up helping me in my life?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Before I let you go, I asked all my guests, this,
give me your unbreakable moment, one moment in your life
that could have should have broken your did.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Now you came through the other side of that tunnel
stronger forever.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
No, I really appreciate this is really cool timing because
it's gone full circle for me my first time telling this.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
I appreciate the question. So I was towards the end
of my career military career. I just got, you know,
selected to be promoted to the tenant colonel. I got
selected to teacher the Air Force Academy. I was working
in the ten Special Forces Group. I had this badass team,
my wife, my four beautiful kids. I was on top
of the world man and I for whatever reason, I
made a mistake and you know, I made a decision
(37:52):
out of character that basically led me get into some
serious trouble man, and as a as a result, you know,
I went in front of a general officer at the time.
He's Major General Randy George. He's now the chiefest Staff
of the Army of four star general.
Speaker 5 (38:08):
At the time.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
He had a decision, mate, you know, so we've got
to punish this guy, the senior officer.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
He should know better.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
It's the first mistake I've ever made in my entire
career eighteen years at this point. And he decided to
give me a second chance, and me, I had been
in that position before, because as a commander, you're kind
of a judge, jury and executioner.
Speaker 5 (38:27):
And I was so thankful for that.
Speaker 4 (38:29):
I decided to dedicate the rest of my career and
the rest of my life towards making the most out
of that second chance by pouring and serving into others.
As as a result, I've always thought about this, if
I ever saw him again, how much I'd want to
thank him. And I missed him, but he came to
the Bears Patriots game. I found out about it through
our leadership, and I was able to get his email
(38:51):
and I was able to write him a really heartfelt
thank you to him telling me about what happened, because oftentimes,
as leaders, we make decisions that affect other people's lives
and they move on. Especially in the military, you move
every two years, and you know what happens to them, right,
you know? Did they this guy? Was this guy a
dirt bag and did he like not do anything with it?
Or did he do something good with it?
Speaker 5 (39:10):
You know? And I was committed to doing something good
with it.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
And my low point, Jay, you can appreciate this. I
was so depressed. I actually thought.
Speaker 5 (39:17):
About taking my own life, you know, and I.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Experienced depression and again I was I've had my own
mental health battles, and I've experienced post traumatic stress and
prost traumatic growth. But you know, I really there was
at a really low point into where I don't I
didn't know if I wanted to go on, if it
wasn't for my faith, my family, my friends and getting
help and actually putting my pride in my pocket and
going getting help, which I hadn't.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
Done at that point in my career.
Speaker 4 (39:41):
Even though I had my mental performance coach, you know,
I thought that I had all the answers and I didn't.
And by you know, I had a good set of skills,
but I needed I needed other people, and I sought
that help. And just so I was able to reach
out to General George and I was able to thank him.
He's able to write me back, and I get a
little choked up even thinking about it because I got it.
You've done a good kid type of email back man,
(40:03):
And so General George, thank you, sir. If you ever
review watch this podcast, I owe you my life and
my career, and.
Speaker 5 (40:10):
I've committed to paying it forward.
Speaker 4 (40:12):
So I hope everyone else is inspired by that story
and does something good for somebody else today by check
it in.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
I love you, man, I appreciate it. Dude.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
Uh glad to call your teammate and listen to any
stories like being unbreakable is not always being on topics.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
See it's all the.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Shit you go through. Hell, yeah, didn't break you forever.
You didn't take your life. So what can we do
to pay it forward for the rest of our lives
being of service to everybody else? Any rates mental performance
coach for the Chicago Bears appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (40:39):
Really, Let's go
Host
Jay Glazer
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