May 14, 2025 • 29 mins
Welcome to Unbreakable! A mental wealth podcast hosted by Fox NFL Insider Jay Glazer. Jay is currently out on his first wedding anniversary trip with his wife Rosie Glazer. So, no better time for us to bring back Part 2 of Jay and Rosie’s podcast from one year ago. It is never too late to find love!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Welcome into Unbreakable mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer. My
wife Rosie and I are on the second week of
our one year anniversary. We're just gonna keep celebrating. But
this is part two of a podcast we've done where
we're trying to show the world never too late to
find love. And on our wedding our honeymoon, Rosey and
I listed a handful of things that we did to
(00:37):
find love later in life. This is part two, It's
never too late to find love. So many of you
have asked, hey, can you give us a guide? How
did you find love later in life? What is it
you two did to find a lot love in your
fifties and the outpouring of questions and I think hope
that we've given people is fantastic. But I said, you're right,
(01:00):
let's give people a guidebook. Let's give people a little
taste of what we did, because there was a lot
of work that went into our journey, right Yeah, So
Rosie and I honor a honeymoon actually jotted down a
good fifteen things that we've done over the last four
years in the past to get ourselves into this position
(01:22):
to find love and then get ourselves in a position
where we don't screw up love and get ourselves in
the position. We take this love and we've run with
it to where we are right now. So we're going
to go back and forth on certain different things. But
first of all, thanks for coming back here on my podcast.
It was hard to get.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
This guest, and this time I'm coming back as your wife,
which is super cool.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
And I just had a recent name change.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I'm changing my last name from Tennis and to Glazer,
which is really never thought i'd be doing that, so
it's really special.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I love it, and just you know, again, a lot
of hard work went into this for the two of
us to find love later on life.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I never knew I.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Was capable of feeling this level of joy until Rosie.
Until this, I always thought that I'd sabotage everything. I
always thought that I would grow alone. And I think
you also had kind of made it almost a decision
right that, like, yeah, it's not gonna happen, and that's good.
I'm just going to take care everybody else in the
world except for you.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, I had always been looking for it, but I
just was like I was waiting. I was waiting for
the right person. But meanwhile I kept getting like older
and older, and then at some point I was like,
oh my gosh, I'm like, you know, my fifties and
I still haven't found it. So it was really nice
when I was found you, and I was just preparing myself.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
All right, so let's dive in here, right, We're going
to go back and forth here. I think i'll kind
of you want me to read back and forth? Yeah, right,
so this is this isn't this isn't no order okay
of how we fell in love.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Oh, this is a good one. Let go of the
ghost to the past. You shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
You shouldn't keep them around, Seriously, let go of the
ghosts of the past. More in the loss, so you're
not mourning it when you meet your new relationship.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Even if you believe that's all.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
You need to move on, it's not fair to the
other person. So that's like, you know, if you're hanging
on to the you know, ghost to the past of
the ex boyfriend or the ex girlfriend, and you know,
when you're with the new person and you don't want
to spend any time talking about that those people because
that's not you know, they usually don't want to hear it.
So just don't let the past relationships affect your future relationship.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
You don't want to just constantly talk about this and
that that, or yeah, show off who you've been with in.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
The past, exactly, you don't. Nobody cares. Yeah, they want
to be you're genuinely interested in them.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
So that's something that that's a big one that I
think of a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
If you're talking about your exits, then you're not on
the pedestal. You're not putting that person across on you
right on.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
The pedestal, exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah. So now a lot of those folks is have
a fine love, but also how to keep it once
you meet that person?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, right, exactly right. So another one here.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Is don't wait till everything's perfect to find that perfect map.
And what I mean about this is like when you're boxing, Okay,
you don't just throw punches when everything's perfect. You gotta
throw constantly. I can't just throw across when oh I
see that opening. I gotta throw them constantly, right, I
gotta throw my bombs. I gotta throw my jams, I
gotta throw my my hooks. I gotta constantly move and
(04:22):
boba move. I gotta throw from different angles in different situations.
Same with your love life. You can't just say, Okay,
now I'm at the greatest place I've ever been. Okay,
this person has all these boxes that I want checked.
Just doesn't work like that. Life doesn't work like that.
A lot of us we hold ourselves back because we're like, oh, well,
this isn't perfect, and that's not perfect, and.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
This or I am not in the best place right now.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Fuck that, like right like I wasn't when I wasn't
in the best place work but because of COVID, because
I because normally I would be working, but during that
time I was off. So the situation was how I
was able to meet you because I was available to
go hang out with you.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So yeah, I love it all right, this is the
next one here, I love this one.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Uh, break your mold of the type, break your mold
of a type.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
It's hard. It's hard enough to find love. So don't
make your pool or make your pool a cup of water.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
So, if you have a prototype of what you know,
this person has to be here's the.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
People have a list.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yeah, they have a list.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Start they have to you know, have this amount of
this job, just make this amount of money. If you
have all these requirements that your lists, your your pool
gets really small rather than being like, you know what,
I'm open for whatever, and it becomes a couple becomes yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Love that exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I'm a good friend with one of the most beautiful
women I've ever seen in my life, still single, and
she has this stupid high pool and you're.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
One of my best friends. Yeah, And I was like,
you're you're taking away.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Like like and by the way, I'm not saying this
because I know, but but you're but yeah. But then
by the way, there's like a great dude I want
to her up with, and she's like, no, he's not
this certain amount of I And then later on and
then I you know, told him now she has a
stupid eyed rule. And then later on she got to
know them where she's like, you know, I think I
like to go out with him and he's like, no way,
(06:12):
I'm not being with somebody this shallow. That's gonna be like, hey,
I care more about how like have we get older too,
We're gonna you get shorter and you get whatever it is, right,
so you gotta kind of look past or it's like, hey,
I just want someone with this color hair.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Well those dudes can balls. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't
make any sense. It doesn't.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
We're a girl, I want her to have this kind
of body or this or that, like it just limits you,
like look that soul. And then but again, like Rosie
and I when we got together, we didn't make this bond, like, hey,
we don't want to become that couple that just doesn't
take care of themselves and let themselves go.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
And I've been in those kind of relationships for your stress.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
So I was gonna eat and drink like created this
and that Rosie and Iron a health journey, so we
always are presenting our best.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So yeah, it's not only that we weep bond too,
because we like you're we're doing paleo right now. So
it's like a thing that we each we each do
like together, So it's like something we do together.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
We work out together.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
So we do a lot of things that are beneficial
to ourselves, but we do them together.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
So it's something that we share which bonds us too.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I love this one for you.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh yeah, this is this is what I did before
I met you, right, And I was single, and I
was always like waiting and waiting, write a love letter
to your future mister or missus, right, what you want
in life, Like I want to feel like God has
a hand in the set, has a hand in setting
this up, how I wanted to be treated, how you
feel about them, and what you're looking for in your soulmate,
(07:35):
I your partner in crime, confident you travel together, in
other words, just setting your attentions so and just put
it away somewhere like that, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
And I would do it from time to time.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I would write like what I was wanting and in
my soulmate, and I found it in you, which is
keeper cool.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
And Rosie kind of got me to remember too, like
I used to go outside even growing up, and I
talked to God about her. It turned out to be her.
I'm a big I'm a big softie like that, and
I'm very I'm very, very romantic romantic, and I've always
kind of been like that looking for that person because
(08:10):
I always didn't feel lonely on the inside.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
So I've always been kind of talking to Rosie to
my soulmate. Hard thing is.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Write a love letter. I love that because then you're
going to see but it's a love letter to that person.
I want to be treated like this, but I can't
wait to meet you.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I love you. And it makes it more like, hey,
all right, It makes it feel like.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
It's closer and yeah, yeah, it makes it feel like
it can happen. And you're just you're putting your attentions
out there, which is really powerful.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
How many times did you write that?
Speaker 4 (08:33):
I did it quite a few times.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, and I put it somewhere like and I would
see it like years later and I'd be like, oh
my gosh, but I was still you know, I would
find them from time to time and I'd be like, okay,
I still haven't found that person, and then a hope
every time, Yeah it would and then recently I found
it and I was like, oh my gosh, I wrote
the things I wanted I found and you really so yeah,
that was everything I wanted.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
That Well, I gotta.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
See this, okay ready, And I'm going to kind of
use some sport analogies here, sell scout do an autopsy
of past relationships to see the things that you did
that you want to improve upon, You want to chance right,
So don't worry about things they did so self, scout.
So I mean by this is the NFL, you'll you'll,
(09:23):
especially like the bye week coaches will go and they'll
look to see what they've done right and wrong at
that point, or they'll look at their own players and go,
hey man, when you're when we're trying to throw a
pass over here, we're tipping our hand, or we're we
have a flinch over here. But you sell scout. You
(09:44):
don't just look at the other team. You look at
yourself and see where are we giving our ready our
own game plan? Where were we hurting ourselves? Where are
we shooting ourselves.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
In the foot?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Same thing there, So don't look and see where, oh
I was in this relationship and this person of this,
This is where did I do this and this and this?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Where did I have a part of where it fell apart?
And work to improve upon those That's the key.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
That's what its because you can't change anyone else. The
only thing you can change is yourself. So yeah, that's right,
that's very I love that one. That's a good one.
That's a really good one.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You're right, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Like, we have a guy named Greg Hardin who we
found on this podcast who just passed away, and he's coached,
He's coached me between the years, coach Tom Brady's coached
Michael Phelps, Charles Woods and people like that. And he
was telling about the story with Brady, and he's like, Tom,
how old are you? You know?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Tom's like nineteen, How old are your coaches? Fifty? What's
chances they're going to change? Well? Probably not. How long
they've been doing this? Yeah, thirty years? So who could change?
Not them? But I can't. Well, yeah, you could change,
that's it. But I said, you've got to be the
one that.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Change and make those improvements because you're not to change
somebody else, but you can change how you deal with things. Hey,
where did I have culpabled? And it was a part
of where this thing fell apart? Responsibility of where I
fell apart, and where I can prove by that, So
I don't do this to the next person.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Yeah, and that's a great opportunity.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So when you do meet that person, you've already you know,
you've done work.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I love this, So put the monsters to bed, okay monsters? Yeah,
So it probably would have happened earlier for us if
we didn't think that things were blockiness.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
You know who was workiness? We were we were blocking us.
We were telling ourselves that.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
You know, it took Jay to be relentless for both
of us to put those monsters to bed, and if
he still didn't, I wouldn't have found that.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
So you gotta go out and yeah, we've got to
So nothing's against.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Us with us, and you were fighting for us, like
very hard.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
And we put these monsters to bed.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
What I mean by this guy is again when I
say that I wasn't feeling worthy of being loved.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I always thought it's just never gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
And so I was the one convincing myself and I
was the one sabotaging because I felt like, you have
these outside sources that were against me. I was convinced
that I have these outside sources that were against me,
and then no matter what I did, I couldn't beat
them because it was preordained that I'm never going to
find love.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Rosie. I had a dream.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Yeah, I always felt because I had a dream, there's
just when you were like eight, Hey, there's just a
monster that like you know had me in it.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
And said you'll never you'll always be mine, You'll never
find love, and then you believed.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
It for your whole life.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah, so I always had like yeah, yeah, so I
always thought that, you know, this is like it's never
gonna happen for me.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
There's something blocking me, there's something stopping me. But it's
at some point you get to realize, wait, you know what,
there's nothing blocking me. It's just me.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I'm the one who's blocking me. And I got to
put the monster to bed so you can hut the
monster and find love. Because there's if you feel that
way and you're there's something you're thinking that's blocking you,
then guess what, you'll always have these walls up and
you you probably.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Will succeed in that.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Or you say, you know what, I'm going to put
this monster to bed and I can't find it and
I am lovable and.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You know you can find that too, you know, when
we both did that. So again I heard this about Rosie.
Her sister brought it up. I was like, oh my god,
you you thought that since you were eight, Like that
is hard. But then I told her I have the
same thing, like I feel like, man, something in the
universe against me, and then we realize.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
It was us. Yeah, we work to get past it.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And then still you're so afraid even going up to
your wedding day, you're horrify. You believe this story that
you've made up for all these years, right, and.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
It's comfortable to cling on to you because it's what
you've always told yourself, so you're real comfortable with it.
And when you challenge it and yeah, yeah, grateful the
story you're most comfortable with. So somebody you've got to
challenge it and rewrite your story so you can have
a happy ending.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's the racket, you said that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
We yeah, it's a racket you're running ourselves, right.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah. So now here we are about to get married.
Try not to cry as I met myself. But we're
in Italy. It's just the two of us, and she's
about to walk down the island and I look at her,
try not to cry, but I said, baby baby, she's
across she's about to walk down. I'm already up there
at the alter and I'm like baby baby, and she
looks me and I said, hey, the monster's dead, and
(14:24):
the two of us just start crying. By the time
she got to me. Look, I'm crying right out the
time she got to me. We were just the two
of us because fifty four years from fifty three years
from me of this painful thought that I didn't control it.
Something was genuinely against me. It's a painful existence, it is.
And we got to put that pain aside. And I said,
(14:46):
you know, if I had to wait, I don't don't
resent how long it took him. So glad about her
journey for two things. Number One, I do think the
pain I've been in, I've been in it so I
can help others through theirs for sure, right with the
podcast like this, in a book and just and be
able to just how many people I've been able to
hope now to give words to mental health.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I had to go through this so I can help
others through THEIRS. And the other thing was, if I.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Wait fifty three years to find my soulmate and I
get her for the rest of eternity, I'm good.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
It's definitely worth the wait for me for sure.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Put the monster to the monsters to bed. Okay, men, menay,
don't do things only when you women ask for it.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Usually women are a lot of times women are more.
I hear it's my my female friends.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
We heard a lot. Oh he's not he doesn't kiss
me enough, he doesn't hug me enough. He doesn't do this.
So underpromise and over deliver. It's the best business advice.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
It's also the same advice and love and so like,
I don't just hug her when she asked for it.
I'mn't just kiss her when she asked. I don't just
rub her back when she asked. I don't just aire
flowers when she asked. I'm constantly thinking every day I
actually wake up, what can I do to improve my
wife's life today?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Yeah, you're really my girlfriend unsick?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, and you do the same thing. But I did
have to explain it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
It's like little little things that show the person that
you Karen.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
It's just but you're really good at that.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And don't look at it like, oh I did that already, right,
I put my time and I got him a card,
I got already on the flowers, I already game, I
already gave him kids.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I already gave Oh. It's a constantly and everything. It's
an everyday thing.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Little it's not even it's not even it could be anything, but.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I do like this one. I want to do this
one which life is a chicken.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Sick Oh that chi can standard.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, So like this was like when we went to
Thailand and we were with some monks and stuff.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
And back kids, like were tiring some months we're not
partying some months.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
In Thailand, right Kamalaya, and we went on a let me,
let me give you the backstory.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
So I went to Thailand mind body spirit journey when
Rosie and I broke up.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
That's the thing with like, I had to work on
change and that's really where I learned.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
From these monks, like and they got me to learn
from me.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So basically like monks out there like your therapist, I
go out there, I was doing I was fighting more
Thai in the jungle, which is right. I was. I
learned breath work and meditation and this gratitude lists to
me to do every day. You go back and listen
to this podcast, you could hear a lot of things
that I do now in these rituals for myself. But
also after I said many they they've really helped me
(17:32):
out my next off season and once I got myself
a position with ROSI and I got back together.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I said, I'd like for you to come with me
so you can learn all these things.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
And I dressed it up as like, so you could
do it, so you can help me with because folks,
I'm crazy, Like I'm not easy, right, I have clinical
depression of anxiety, bipolar ADHD, insomnia. It goes on and
on and on, and I'm like, hey, I really want
you to help learn all this, so you could help me.
So we could this breath working together, we could do
this meditation they get, we could do this gratitude list together.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
But really more for Rosie.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, without without letting her know, was really for Rosie
and she needed this too. She needed these and she's
got a therapy for a long time. But the way
they do it out there is different.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Different.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, they coach you and they get you to think
differently to what you what you would. So when you
and I started dating Imber, I was feeling kind of
a little unworthy because I wasn't used to getting showered
with love. I wasn't used to you know. Here I
was finding getting everything I wished for. But when you
get it, sometimes you feel unworthy of it and you
feel like not deserving of it. So that's what I
was telling that. I guess it was fear. It was
(18:38):
fear of like, oh wait, everything's happening, but now it's
going to get taken away, or you just feel undeserving.
So so I was explaining this to the months and
they're like, well, okay, so what's your your favorite food?
So I was saying this R and D chicken sandwich,
which is like if I could eat anything, it's I
love the same. So so the monk says, okay, so
when you're eating your chicken sandwich, are you worried that
(18:59):
the persons from you doesn't think that you're worthy of
that chicken sandwich?
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Or are you just enjoying your chicken sandwich?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
And I was like, yeah, actually, I'm enjoying my chicken
sandwich and the fries and you know whatever else I
have with And she's like, okay, so when you're eating
your chicken sandwich, do you think that the person sitting
on the seat next to you doesn't think that you
deserve that chicken sandwich? And I'm like no, I'm just
enjoying my chicken sandwich. And so she says, well, this
is your life your life is the chicken sandwich. Don't
worry about what you know, if you're deserving or not
(19:27):
worthy of it. Just enjoy your chicken sandwich. So that's
what I real. The life is like the chicken sandwich.
Just enjoy it. Enjoy it when it happens, Enjoy it
while it happens. Don't worry about it getting taken away,
don't worry that you're worthy. Just enjoy it whatever it
is that you're experiencing, and truly and just enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
So she she came out of this and she was like,
oh my gosh, my life's a chicken sandwich.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
What are you telling me about? What were Your life
is a chicken sandwich? How'd you go? And maybe with
a monkey you came out to your life, But she
came out.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
It was really a different mind shift of from feeling
like I'm worthy rather than being like, oh wait no,
I'm going to enjoy this and it's it's enjoy and enjoy.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So I think the last one here will finish this
off here is protect your value and self esteem. And
what I mean by that this is something Rosie made
sure of. She made sure that, like Rosie, like you
cannot walk all over Rosie.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I have my meltdowns. I cannot fuck with Rosie. She
does not take my ship now.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
At the same time, it's very compassionate for me, but
I had to learn early, like I'm used to running
people over. She's like, uh, I am protecting my value
and self esteem. Yeah, and my respect for her is
through the ceiling. I'm used to walk over with people
and they just go I just I'll let them do
it because I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Be more upset in two seconds. Same for you.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
A lot of us will just take it because we
don't want conflict. And also we're like, oh, this will
We'll get through it if I take it. Don't just
take it.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Make sure.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And she told me, Jay, we're gonna be together. You're
always gonna treat me like this queen. You're never gonna
walk home me. I'm never gonna be a doormat. She
explained it to me. She doesn't exact like this, she
said it going in say it to your partner too.
I deserve to be treated like I deserve to be
treated like a lion. I deserve to be treated like
a lioness. I deserve to be treated like a queen.
(21:28):
If you don't, this isn't gonna work for us.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
And that'll that'll hurt the dynamics of your relationship because
then you'll want presenting them because you don't like the
way they talked to you or whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
But if you communicate and don't do it when you're mad,
do it.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Okay, you said the earlier I didn't like this or that,
and then the person it gets a person a chance
to be like, oh okay. So then they know how
to treat you as you're teaching them. So and you're
really good at that. You're like you take notes.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Well despite the idea Stea tell me healthy.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah, and then uh.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Man, I had I had one more here and now
I'm sitting here going, oh my, guess what was it? Oh?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So Rosie and I have started a lot of rituals together, Yes,
a lot of rituals. And like we do a ton
of stuff now in the morning, and I'll tell people
what is Like we get up, we do like we
were doing breath work, am meditations, We do breath worcommendation right,
all this in the morning.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
We take our dogs to go walk this to go
out in the morning.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
But while we're there, we do a gratitude list ten
things were grateful for in the day before. It could
be anything. It could be like, hey, I'm grateful for
the sky. Today, I'm grateful for We always start with
them grateful for God. I'm grateful for each other. And
then I'm grateful for we saw dolphins.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I'm grateful for.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Could be a pair of shoes, conversation I had conversation
with your brother, right like, Yeah, it could be man,
I got a great phone call today. I got it
doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be smoke.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Could be anything. And I had to learned that tilt.
How like for me and for you too.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And you're like, how it's hard to feel grateful when
and even I've explained to a lot of people it's easy.
Like it just could be like, hey, I got me
help today. Hey I got I got a pretty cool
text from somebody. Hey, I've got this. I got I
got a new belt, I got a new shirt that
I really like.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Anything.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
It could be anything, just little little things that could
there's big things too sometimes, but a lot a lot
of times it's not that it's just something small.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Right, So the point is, so then we do the
gratitude list. Then we work out. We do one of
we should I run these stairs here in Malibu, and
then we have the incredible and that's when we do
our breathwork commentation right down at the bottom, and then
we'll go usually do another workout. This is all before
like eleven o'clock in the morning. We have these rituals.
At night we do this. Then we do appreciate, celebrate smile.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
We take like that's something a Monk's Hottest, which is
really good.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Two things at night and we're like, okay, something that
happens today, and you like appreciate it, really celebrate, like
throw a party in your heart.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Like really celebrate this thing and have the hugest smile
on your face.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So because think about it, Like, first of all, one,
when you smile, your body doesn't know and your brain
doesn't know what's real or fake. It actually releases like
a dorphins to help boosh your mood. But also think
of how you are the next morning when you come
home from a cool party. Think about how much better
life is. So you're throwing a party in your heart,
like a couple of things. Takes two to three minutes.
(24:24):
Throw this party in your heart, but really celebrate, really smile,
really feel it. It's so much better to go to
bed that way than dreading the next morning, or dreading
all the things that happen.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Or dealing with your problems, which I used to wake up.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I used to go to bed with the worst anxiety
from the crap that I had to face the next day,
or what I was fearful was going to happen the
next day, or bad things that happened that day. I'd
sit there and harp on them instead of what we
do now, which is we just celebrate. And you have
a book of prayers. We also read a prayer, and
what we do pirus together. My point is we have
(25:02):
we created all these rituals together. Don't get tired of it,
like you're never in a place like okay, been there,
done that, We're good now. There is no we're good there,
We're good now. Okay, You've got to continue to grow.
And a lot of times we don't feel like.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Doing these do them anyways, we don't know what.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, to make sure that we have your rituals, create
rituals together and keep it going. Don't say now on
board of them or create numans like, but just do
things to happen.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
It's a really good way to bond and just spend
time together and yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Where else you want to add everybody?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, just like yeah, It's like we both found love
later in life. And it was like something that I think,
like because I have a lot of people that have
reached out and they're like, oh, it gives them hope
that you know, because in most of the people a
lot of people are out there are single, they don't
have they haven't found their soul met So like I
think when they see our story, it kind of gives
them hope because they're like, wait, you know, it's it's
(25:58):
it's not too late, because if you're thinking that then
it's discouraging. But if you realize it, it's never too
late to find love.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, it never is.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
One of the things behind in the air again like
self scout taking him into what you did wrong. And
I look back now and I'm like, I was a
lot for a lot of people, right, I was a
lot because I was trying to create this image of
me I thought would be the one that would get love.
When it turns out the real flawed, fucked up one
(26:27):
is the one that everybody loves.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
And I see people now too.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
They're still doing putting on this front and there's so
much energy and it's just no vulnerability there. And I'm
most like, hey, just just be you, like I know
that person's there.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Just be you.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
People aren't. What I realized is people like the glaze.
People love Jake living exactly.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
And that's what when I look back on past relationship
or even our relationship, the memories are that I admire
the most and I like the most are the ones
that when you're vulnerable, because those are the ones.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
I remember and I'm like, wow, you're genuine and vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
And that's the parts that when I would look back,
I'm like, I always we'll remember.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And the last thing is again, all that we're teaching
here and now coaching here now enough to take a
month to do this right here.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Right now, exactly right, yeah, start it now, start it
to day.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
When I was sitting here in my career, I would
I would. I wouldn't put things off to the next week.
I'm like, I'm gonna use stuff now. Start changing my
life now. And it took eleven years for me to
get my first full time job every single day I
gave myself hope of now I'm doing something now, and eventually,
thank you God Almighty in heaven, I broke through. So
start these now, right, Start your journaling now where you
(27:43):
can do certain things.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
That's the other thing. We both journal now, which I
need to do before Thailand. You've done it your whole life.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Yeah, that's been very helpful for me. That has been
very very.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
So that's another ritual for us. Sometimes you and I
will go in journal together.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Put music on and journal right right right.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So look, I really hope we've been able to help.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
We've never done this before where the two of us
have sat down and just given us game plan, our guidebook,
if you will, coaching people how to find love later
in life.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Never too late to find love, trust us, it's never
too late to fly. It's true.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's true, it's true.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
We love you, We appreciate you all. Baby, Thank you
for teaching me how to be and how to feel safe.
And it's the biggest gift anybody can ever give me,
is feeling safe. It's not the money and the fame
and this and then that. It's man, this, it's just
safety that I don't know who ever felt before. It's
(28:45):
the biggest gift anybody ever get.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Thank you for always supporting me and being there for me,
and you always like always have my back and I
always know that you know just for loving me because
you're so really good at it.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Love you, baby, now too late to find love. Just
keep walking, us walk together.
This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental wealth podcast
build you from the inside out.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Now here's Jay Glacier.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Welcome into Unbreakable mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer. My
wife Rosie and I are on the second week of
our one year anniversary. We're just gonna keep celebrating. But
this is part two of a podcast we've done where
we're trying to show the world never too late to
find love. And on our wedding our honeymoon, Rosey and
I listed a handful of things that we did to
(00:37):
find love later in life. This is part two, It's
never too late to find love. So many of you
have asked, hey, can you give us a guide? How
did you find love later in life? What is it
you two did to find a lot love in your
fifties and the outpouring of questions and I think hope
that we've given people is fantastic. But I said, you're right,
(01:00):
let's give people a guidebook. Let's give people a little
taste of what we did, because there was a lot
of work that went into our journey, right Yeah, So
Rosie and I honor a honeymoon actually jotted down a
good fifteen things that we've done over the last four
years in the past to get ourselves into this position
(01:22):
to find love and then get ourselves in a position
where we don't screw up love and get ourselves in
the position. We take this love and we've run with
it to where we are right now. So we're going
to go back and forth on certain different things. But
first of all, thanks for coming back here on my podcast.
It was hard to get.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
This guest, and this time I'm coming back as your wife,
which is super cool.
Speaker 4 (01:44):
And I just had a recent name change.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
I'm changing my last name from Tennis and to Glazer,
which is really never thought i'd be doing that, so
it's really special.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
I love it, and just you know, again, a lot
of hard work went into this for the two of
us to find love later on life.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
I never knew I.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Was capable of feeling this level of joy until Rosie.
Until this, I always thought that I'd sabotage everything. I
always thought that I would grow alone. And I think
you also had kind of made it almost a decision
right that, like, yeah, it's not gonna happen, and that's good.
I'm just going to take care everybody else in the
world except for you.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, I had always been looking for it, but I
just was like I was waiting. I was waiting for
the right person. But meanwhile I kept getting like older
and older, and then at some point I was like,
oh my gosh, I'm like, you know, my fifties and
I still haven't found it. So it was really nice
when I was found you, and I was just preparing myself.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
All right, so let's dive in here, right, We're going
to go back and forth here. I think i'll kind
of you want me to read back and forth? Yeah, right,
so this is this isn't this isn't no order okay
of how we fell in love.
Speaker 4 (02:58):
Oh, this is a good one. Let go of the
ghost to the past. You shouldn't.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
You shouldn't keep them around, Seriously, let go of the
ghosts of the past. More in the loss, so you're
not mourning it when you meet your new relationship.
Speaker 4 (03:08):
Even if you believe that's all.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
You need to move on, it's not fair to the
other person. So that's like, you know, if you're hanging
on to the you know, ghost to the past of
the ex boyfriend or the ex girlfriend, and you know,
when you're with the new person and you don't want
to spend any time talking about that those people because
that's not you know, they usually don't want to hear it.
So just don't let the past relationships affect your future relationship.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
You don't want to just constantly talk about this and
that that, or yeah, show off who you've been with in.
Speaker 4 (03:38):
The past, exactly, you don't. Nobody cares. Yeah, they want
to be you're genuinely interested in them.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
So that's something that that's a big one that I
think of a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
If you're talking about your exits, then you're not on
the pedestal. You're not putting that person across on you
right on.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
The pedestal, exactly.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah. So now a lot of those folks is have
a fine love, but also how to keep it once
you meet that person?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah, right, exactly right. So another one here.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Is don't wait till everything's perfect to find that perfect map.
And what I mean about this is like when you're boxing, Okay,
you don't just throw punches when everything's perfect. You gotta
throw constantly. I can't just throw across when oh I
see that opening. I gotta throw them constantly, right, I
gotta throw my bombs. I gotta throw my jams, I
gotta throw my my hooks. I gotta constantly move and
(04:22):
boba move. I gotta throw from different angles in different situations.
Same with your love life. You can't just say, Okay,
now I'm at the greatest place I've ever been. Okay,
this person has all these boxes that I want checked.
Just doesn't work like that. Life doesn't work like that.
A lot of us we hold ourselves back because we're like, oh, well,
this isn't perfect, and that's not perfect, and.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
This or I am not in the best place right now.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
Fuck that, like right like I wasn't when I wasn't
in the best place work but because of COVID, because
I because normally I would be working, but during that
time I was off. So the situation was how I
was able to meet you because I was available to
go hang out with you.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
So yeah, I love it all right, this is the
next one here, I love this one.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Uh, break your mold of the type, break your mold
of a type.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
It's hard. It's hard enough to find love. So don't
make your pool or make your pool a cup of water.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
So, if you have a prototype of what you know,
this person has to be here's the.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
People have a list.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yeah, they have a list.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
Start they have to you know, have this amount of
this job, just make this amount of money. If you
have all these requirements that your lists, your your pool
gets really small rather than being like, you know what,
I'm open for whatever, and it becomes a couple becomes yeah, I.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Love that exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I'm a good friend with one of the most beautiful
women I've ever seen in my life, still single, and
she has this stupid high pool and you're.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
One of my best friends. Yeah, And I was like,
you're you're taking away.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Like like and by the way, I'm not saying this
because I know, but but you're but yeah. But then
by the way, there's like a great dude I want
to her up with, and she's like, no, he's not
this certain amount of I And then later on and
then I you know, told him now she has a
stupid eyed rule. And then later on she got to
know them where she's like, you know, I think I
like to go out with him and he's like, no way,
(06:12):
I'm not being with somebody this shallow. That's gonna be like, hey,
I care more about how like have we get older too,
We're gonna you get shorter and you get whatever it is, right,
so you gotta kind of look past or it's like, hey,
I just want someone with this color hair.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Well those dudes can balls. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't
make any sense. It doesn't.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
We're a girl, I want her to have this kind
of body or this or that, like it just limits you,
like look that soul. And then but again, like Rosie
and I when we got together, we didn't make this bond, like, hey,
we don't want to become that couple that just doesn't
take care of themselves and let themselves go.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
And I've been in those kind of relationships for your stress.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
So I was gonna eat and drink like created this
and that Rosie and Iron a health journey, so we
always are presenting our best.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So yeah, it's not only that we weep bond too,
because we like you're we're doing paleo right now. So
it's like a thing that we each we each do
like together, So it's like something we do together.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
We work out together.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
So we do a lot of things that are beneficial
to ourselves, but we do them together.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
So it's something that we share which bonds us too.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I love this one for you.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
Oh yeah, this is this is what I did before
I met you, right, And I was single, and I
was always like waiting and waiting, write a love letter
to your future mister or missus, right, what you want
in life, Like I want to feel like God has
a hand in the set, has a hand in setting
this up, how I wanted to be treated, how you
feel about them, and what you're looking for in your soulmate,
(07:35):
I your partner in crime, confident you travel together, in
other words, just setting your attentions so and just put
it away somewhere like that, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:42):
And I would do it from time to time.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I would write like what I was wanting and in
my soulmate, and I found it in you, which is
keeper cool.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
And Rosie kind of got me to remember too, like
I used to go outside even growing up, and I
talked to God about her. It turned out to be her.
I'm a big I'm a big softie like that, and
I'm very I'm very, very romantic romantic, and I've always
kind of been like that looking for that person because
(08:10):
I always didn't feel lonely on the inside.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
So I've always been kind of talking to Rosie to
my soulmate. Hard thing is.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Write a love letter. I love that because then you're
going to see but it's a love letter to that person.
I want to be treated like this, but I can't
wait to meet you.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I love you. And it makes it more like, hey,
all right, It makes it feel like.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
It's closer and yeah, yeah, it makes it feel like
it can happen. And you're just you're putting your attentions
out there, which is really powerful.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
How many times did you write that?
Speaker 4 (08:33):
I did it quite a few times.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, and I put it somewhere like and I would
see it like years later and I'd be like, oh
my gosh, but I was still you know, I would
find them from time to time and I'd be like, okay,
I still haven't found that person, and then a hope
every time, Yeah it would and then recently I found
it and I was like, oh my gosh, I wrote
the things I wanted I found and you really so yeah,
that was everything I wanted.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
That Well, I gotta.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
See this, okay ready, And I'm going to kind of
use some sport analogies here, sell scout do an autopsy
of past relationships to see the things that you did
that you want to improve upon, You want to chance right,
So don't worry about things they did so self, scout.
So I mean by this is the NFL, you'll you'll,
(09:23):
especially like the bye week coaches will go and they'll
look to see what they've done right and wrong at
that point, or they'll look at their own players and go,
hey man, when you're when we're trying to throw a
pass over here, we're tipping our hand, or we're we
have a flinch over here. But you sell scout. You
(09:44):
don't just look at the other team. You look at
yourself and see where are we giving our ready our
own game plan? Where were we hurting ourselves? Where are
we shooting ourselves.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
In the foot?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Same thing there, So don't look and see where, oh
I was in this relationship and this person of this,
This is where did I do this and this and this?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Where did I have a part of where it fell apart?
And work to improve upon those That's the key.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
That's what its because you can't change anyone else. The
only thing you can change is yourself. So yeah, that's right,
that's very I love that one. That's a good one.
That's a really good one.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
You're right, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
Like, we have a guy named Greg Hardin who we
found on this podcast who just passed away, and he's coached,
He's coached me between the years, coach Tom Brady's coached
Michael Phelps, Charles Woods and people like that. And he
was telling about the story with Brady, and he's like, Tom,
how old are you? You know?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Tom's like nineteen, How old are your coaches? Fifty? What's
chances they're going to change? Well? Probably not. How long
they've been doing this? Yeah, thirty years? So who could change?
Not them? But I can't. Well, yeah, you could change,
that's it. But I said, you've got to be the
one that.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Change and make those improvements because you're not to change
somebody else, but you can change how you deal with things. Hey,
where did I have culpabled? And it was a part
of where this thing fell apart? Responsibility of where I
fell apart, and where I can prove by that, So
I don't do this to the next person.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
Yeah, and that's a great opportunity.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
So when you do meet that person, you've already you know,
you've done work.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Right.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
I love this, So put the monsters to bed, okay monsters? Yeah,
So it probably would have happened earlier for us if
we didn't think that things were blockiness.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
You know who was workiness? We were we were blocking us.
We were telling ourselves that.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
You know, it took Jay to be relentless for both
of us to put those monsters to bed, and if
he still didn't, I wouldn't have found that.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
So you gotta go out and yeah, we've got to
So nothing's against.
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Us with us, and you were fighting for us, like
very hard.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
And we put these monsters to bed.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
What I mean by this guy is again when I
say that I wasn't feeling worthy of being loved.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
I always thought it's just never gonna happen.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
And so I was the one convincing myself and I
was the one sabotaging because I felt like, you have
these outside sources that were against me. I was convinced
that I have these outside sources that were against me,
and then no matter what I did, I couldn't beat
them because it was preordained that I'm never going to
find love.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Rosie. I had a dream.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Yeah, I always felt because I had a dream, there's
just when you were like eight, Hey, there's just a
monster that like you know had me in it.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
And said you'll never you'll always be mine, You'll never
find love, and then you believed.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
It for your whole life.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah, so I always had like yeah, yeah, so I
always thought that, you know, this is like it's never
gonna happen for me.
Speaker 4 (12:42):
There's something blocking me, there's something stopping me. But it's
at some point you get to realize, wait, you know what,
there's nothing blocking me. It's just me.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I'm the one who's blocking me. And I got to
put the monster to bed so you can hut the
monster and find love. Because there's if you feel that
way and you're there's something you're thinking that's blocking you,
then guess what, you'll always have these walls up and
you you probably.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Will succeed in that.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Or you say, you know what, I'm going to put
this monster to bed and I can't find it and
I am lovable and.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
You know you can find that too, you know, when
we both did that. So again I heard this about Rosie.
Her sister brought it up. I was like, oh my god,
you you thought that since you were eight, Like that
is hard. But then I told her I have the
same thing, like I feel like, man, something in the
universe against me, and then we realize.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
It was us. Yeah, we work to get past it.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
And then still you're so afraid even going up to
your wedding day, you're horrify. You believe this story that
you've made up for all these years, right, and.
Speaker 3 (13:42):
It's comfortable to cling on to you because it's what
you've always told yourself, so you're real comfortable with it.
And when you challenge it and yeah, yeah, grateful the
story you're most comfortable with. So somebody you've got to
challenge it and rewrite your story so you can have
a happy ending.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
It's the racket, you said that.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
We yeah, it's a racket you're running ourselves, right.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah. So now here we are about to get married.
Try not to cry as I met myself. But we're
in Italy. It's just the two of us, and she's
about to walk down the island and I look at her,
try not to cry, but I said, baby baby, she's
across she's about to walk down. I'm already up there
at the alter and I'm like baby baby, and she
looks me and I said, hey, the monster's dead, and
(14:24):
the two of us just start crying. By the time
she got to me. Look, I'm crying right out the
time she got to me. We were just the two
of us because fifty four years from fifty three years
from me of this painful thought that I didn't control it.
Something was genuinely against me. It's a painful existence, it is.
And we got to put that pain aside. And I said,
(14:46):
you know, if I had to wait, I don't don't
resent how long it took him. So glad about her
journey for two things. Number One, I do think the
pain I've been in, I've been in it so I
can help others through theirs for sure, right with the
podcast like this, in a book and just and be
able to just how many people I've been able to
hope now to give words to mental health.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I had to go through this so I can help
others through THEIRS. And the other thing was, if I.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Wait fifty three years to find my soulmate and I
get her for the rest of eternity, I'm good.
Speaker 4 (15:17):
It's definitely worth the wait for me for sure.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Put the monster to the monsters to bed. Okay, men, menay,
don't do things only when you women ask for it.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Usually women are a lot of times women are more.
I hear it's my my female friends.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
We heard a lot. Oh he's not he doesn't kiss
me enough, he doesn't hug me enough. He doesn't do this.
So underpromise and over deliver. It's the best business advice.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
It's also the same advice and love and so like,
I don't just hug her when she asked for it.
I'mn't just kiss her when she asked. I don't just
rub her back when she asked. I don't just aire
flowers when she asked. I'm constantly thinking every day I
actually wake up, what can I do to improve my
wife's life today?
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Yeah, you're really my girlfriend unsick?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yeah, and you do the same thing. But I did
have to explain it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
It's like little little things that show the person that
you Karen.
Speaker 4 (16:16):
It's just but you're really good at that.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And don't look at it like, oh I did that already, right,
I put my time and I got him a card,
I got already on the flowers, I already game, I
already gave him kids.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I already gave Oh. It's a constantly and everything. It's
an everyday thing.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Little it's not even it's not even it could be anything, but.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I do like this one. I want to do this
one which life is a chicken.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
Sick Oh that chi can standard.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Yeah, So like this was like when we went to
Thailand and we were with some monks and stuff.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
And back kids, like were tiring some months we're not
partying some months.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
In Thailand, right Kamalaya, and we went on a let me,
let me give you the backstory.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
So I went to Thailand mind body spirit journey when
Rosie and I broke up.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
That's the thing with like, I had to work on
change and that's really where I learned.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
From these monks, like and they got me to learn
from me.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
So basically like monks out there like your therapist, I
go out there, I was doing I was fighting more
Thai in the jungle, which is right. I was. I
learned breath work and meditation and this gratitude lists to
me to do every day. You go back and listen
to this podcast, you could hear a lot of things
that I do now in these rituals for myself. But
also after I said many they they've really helped me
(17:32):
out my next off season and once I got myself
a position with ROSI and I got back together.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I said, I'd like for you to come with me
so you can learn all these things.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
And I dressed it up as like, so you could
do it, so you can help me with because folks,
I'm crazy, Like I'm not easy, right, I have clinical
depression of anxiety, bipolar ADHD, insomnia. It goes on and
on and on, and I'm like, hey, I really want
you to help learn all this, so you could help me.
So we could this breath working together, we could do
this meditation they get, we could do this gratitude list together.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
But really more for Rosie.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
Yeah, without without letting her know, was really for Rosie
and she needed this too. She needed these and she's
got a therapy for a long time. But the way
they do it out there is different.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Different.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, they coach you and they get you to think
differently to what you what you would. So when you
and I started dating Imber, I was feeling kind of
a little unworthy because I wasn't used to getting showered
with love. I wasn't used to you know. Here I
was finding getting everything I wished for. But when you
get it, sometimes you feel unworthy of it and you
feel like not deserving of it. So that's what I
was telling that. I guess it was fear. It was
(18:38):
fear of like, oh wait, everything's happening, but now it's
going to get taken away, or you just feel undeserving.
So so I was explaining this to the months and
they're like, well, okay, so what's your your favorite food?
So I was saying this R and D chicken sandwich,
which is like if I could eat anything, it's I
love the same. So so the monk says, okay, so
when you're eating your chicken sandwich, are you worried that
(18:59):
the persons from you doesn't think that you're worthy of
that chicken sandwich?
Speaker 4 (19:04):
Or are you just enjoying your chicken sandwich?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
And I was like, yeah, actually, I'm enjoying my chicken
sandwich and the fries and you know whatever else I
have with And she's like, okay, so when you're eating
your chicken sandwich, do you think that the person sitting
on the seat next to you doesn't think that you
deserve that chicken sandwich? And I'm like no, I'm just
enjoying my chicken sandwich. And so she says, well, this
is your life your life is the chicken sandwich. Don't
worry about what you know, if you're deserving or not
(19:27):
worthy of it. Just enjoy your chicken sandwich. So that's
what I real. The life is like the chicken sandwich.
Just enjoy it. Enjoy it when it happens, Enjoy it
while it happens. Don't worry about it getting taken away,
don't worry that you're worthy. Just enjoy it whatever it
is that you're experiencing, and truly and just enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
So she she came out of this and she was like,
oh my gosh, my life's a chicken sandwich.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
What are you telling me about? What were Your life
is a chicken sandwich? How'd you go? And maybe with
a monkey you came out to your life, But she
came out.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
It was really a different mind shift of from feeling
like I'm worthy rather than being like, oh wait no,
I'm going to enjoy this and it's it's enjoy and enjoy.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
So I think the last one here will finish this
off here is protect your value and self esteem. And
what I mean by that this is something Rosie made
sure of. She made sure that, like Rosie, like you
cannot walk all over Rosie.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
I have my meltdowns. I cannot fuck with Rosie. She
does not take my ship now.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
At the same time, it's very compassionate for me, but
I had to learn early, like I'm used to running
people over. She's like, uh, I am protecting my value
and self esteem. Yeah, and my respect for her is
through the ceiling. I'm used to walk over with people
and they just go I just I'll let them do
it because I don't want to.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Be more upset in two seconds. Same for you.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
A lot of us will just take it because we
don't want conflict. And also we're like, oh, this will
We'll get through it if I take it. Don't just
take it.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Make sure.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And she told me, Jay, we're gonna be together. You're
always gonna treat me like this queen. You're never gonna
walk home me. I'm never gonna be a doormat. She
explained it to me. She doesn't exact like this, she
said it going in say it to your partner too.
I deserve to be treated like I deserve to be
treated like a lion. I deserve to be treated like
a lioness. I deserve to be treated like a queen.
(21:28):
If you don't, this isn't gonna work for us.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
And that'll that'll hurt the dynamics of your relationship because
then you'll want presenting them because you don't like the
way they talked to you or whatever it is.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
But if you communicate and don't do it when you're mad,
do it.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Okay, you said the earlier I didn't like this or that,
and then the person it gets a person a chance
to be like, oh okay. So then they know how
to treat you as you're teaching them. So and you're
really good at that. You're like you take notes.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Well despite the idea Stea tell me healthy.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah, and then uh.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Man, I had I had one more here and now
I'm sitting here going, oh my, guess what was it? Oh?
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
So Rosie and I have started a lot of rituals together, Yes,
a lot of rituals. And like we do a ton
of stuff now in the morning, and I'll tell people
what is Like we get up, we do like we
were doing breath work, am meditations, We do breath worcommendation right,
all this in the morning.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
We take our dogs to go walk this to go
out in the morning.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
But while we're there, we do a gratitude list ten
things were grateful for in the day before. It could
be anything. It could be like, hey, I'm grateful for
the sky. Today, I'm grateful for We always start with
them grateful for God. I'm grateful for each other. And
then I'm grateful for we saw dolphins.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
I'm grateful for.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Could be a pair of shoes, conversation I had conversation
with your brother, right like, Yeah, it could be man,
I got a great phone call today. I got it
doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be smoke.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Could be anything. And I had to learned that tilt.
How like for me and for you too.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
And you're like, how it's hard to feel grateful when
and even I've explained to a lot of people it's easy.
Like it just could be like, hey, I got me
help today. Hey I got I got a pretty cool
text from somebody. Hey, I've got this. I got I
got a new belt, I got a new shirt that
I really like.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Anything.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
It could be anything, just little little things that could
there's big things too sometimes, but a lot a lot
of times it's not that it's just something small.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Right, So the point is, so then we do the
gratitude list. Then we work out. We do one of
we should I run these stairs here in Malibu, and
then we have the incredible and that's when we do
our breathwork commentation right down at the bottom, and then
we'll go usually do another workout. This is all before
like eleven o'clock in the morning. We have these rituals.
At night we do this. Then we do appreciate, celebrate smile.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
We take like that's something a Monk's Hottest, which is
really good.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Two things at night and we're like, okay, something that
happens today, and you like appreciate it, really celebrate, like
throw a party in your heart.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Like really celebrate this thing and have the hugest smile
on your face.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
So because think about it, Like, first of all, one,
when you smile, your body doesn't know and your brain
doesn't know what's real or fake. It actually releases like
a dorphins to help boosh your mood. But also think
of how you are the next morning when you come
home from a cool party. Think about how much better
life is. So you're throwing a party in your heart,
like a couple of things. Takes two to three minutes.
(24:24):
Throw this party in your heart, but really celebrate, really smile,
really feel it. It's so much better to go to
bed that way than dreading the next morning, or dreading
all the things that happen.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Or dealing with your problems, which I used to wake up.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I used to go to bed with the worst anxiety
from the crap that I had to face the next day,
or what I was fearful was going to happen the
next day, or bad things that happened that day. I'd
sit there and harp on them instead of what we
do now, which is we just celebrate. And you have
a book of prayers. We also read a prayer, and
what we do pirus together. My point is we have
(25:02):
we created all these rituals together. Don't get tired of it,
like you're never in a place like okay, been there,
done that, We're good now. There is no we're good there,
We're good now. Okay, You've got to continue to grow.
And a lot of times we don't feel like.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Doing these do them anyways, we don't know what.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
Yeah, to make sure that we have your rituals, create
rituals together and keep it going. Don't say now on
board of them or create numans like, but just do
things to happen.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
It's a really good way to bond and just spend
time together and yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Where else you want to add everybody?
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Yeah, just like yeah, It's like we both found love
later in life. And it was like something that I think,
like because I have a lot of people that have
reached out and they're like, oh, it gives them hope
that you know, because in most of the people a
lot of people are out there are single, they don't
have they haven't found their soul met So like I
think when they see our story, it kind of gives
them hope because they're like, wait, you know, it's it's
(25:58):
it's not too late, because if you're thinking that then
it's discouraging. But if you realize it, it's never too
late to find love.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Yeah, it never is.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
One of the things behind in the air again like
self scout taking him into what you did wrong. And
I look back now and I'm like, I was a
lot for a lot of people, right, I was a
lot because I was trying to create this image of
me I thought would be the one that would get love.
When it turns out the real flawed, fucked up one
(26:27):
is the one that everybody loves.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
And I see people now too.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
They're still doing putting on this front and there's so
much energy and it's just no vulnerability there. And I'm
most like, hey, just just be you, like I know
that person's there.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Just be you.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
People aren't. What I realized is people like the glaze.
People love Jake living exactly.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
And that's what when I look back on past relationship
or even our relationship, the memories are that I admire
the most and I like the most are the ones
that when you're vulnerable, because those are the ones.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
I remember and I'm like, wow, you're genuine and vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (27:01):
And that's the parts that when I would look back,
I'm like, I always we'll remember.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
And the last thing is again, all that we're teaching
here and now coaching here now enough to take a
month to do this right here.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Right now, exactly right, yeah, start it now, start it
to day.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
When I was sitting here in my career, I would
I would. I wouldn't put things off to the next week.
I'm like, I'm gonna use stuff now. Start changing my
life now. And it took eleven years for me to
get my first full time job every single day I
gave myself hope of now I'm doing something now, and eventually,
thank you God Almighty in heaven, I broke through. So
start these now, right, Start your journaling now where you
(27:43):
can do certain things.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
That's the other thing. We both journal now, which I
need to do before Thailand. You've done it your whole life.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Yeah, that's been very helpful for me. That has been
very very.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
So that's another ritual for us. Sometimes you and I
will go in journal together.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Put music on and journal right right right.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
So look, I really hope we've been able to help.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
We've never done this before where the two of us
have sat down and just given us game plan, our guidebook,
if you will, coaching people how to find love later
in life.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Never too late to find love, trust us, it's never
too late to fly. It's true.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's true, it's true.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
We love you, We appreciate you all. Baby, Thank you
for teaching me how to be and how to feel safe.
And it's the biggest gift anybody can ever give me,
is feeling safe. It's not the money and the fame
and this and then that. It's man, this, it's just
safety that I don't know who ever felt before. It's
(28:45):
the biggest gift anybody ever get.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Thank you for always supporting me and being there for me,
and you always like always have my back and I
always know that you know just for loving me because
you're so really good at it.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Love you, baby, now too late to find love. Just
keep walking, us walk together.
Host
Jay Glazer
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