November 12, 2025 • 29 mins
After closing her beloved yoga studio and losing her mother, Tanya Chiu was faced with a new challenge–she was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis. Her story is one of resilience, reclaiming purpose and rediscovering joy when life takes an unexpected turn.
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hello and welcome back. This season, we're looking at resilience
in all its forms, how people living with rare autoimmune
conditions like MG and CIDP not only face the impossible,
but also find ways to move forward, rebuild, and transform.
Today's guest, Tanya Cheu, is a longtime yoga teacher and
(00:30):
wellness practitioner from Toronto. After an emotionally devastating year, Tanya's
body began to shift, first her vision, then her energy,
and eventually her ability to move and teach. But Tanya's
story isn't just about loss. It's also about finding light
at the other side of it and the courage it
(00:50):
takes to write a new chapter when the old one closes.
Let's meet her now. Hi, good morning, good morning, it's
so see you. Thank you so much for joining me today.
I'm so happy to be here. Wonderful. Tanya, take us
back to the beginning of twenty twenty two, a couple
years into the pandemic. What did your yoga studio mean
(01:14):
to you and what was it like to lose it?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Oh? What a time. It brings so many emotions up.
I had my yoga studio for ten years and I
was so in tuned with my life, who I was,
my purpose. I am a mom, but my purpose in life,
I felt, other than being a mom, was to help
(01:39):
people love themselves and to just really nourish their bodies
with movement and mindfulness. And then COVID happened, and when
I had to make the decision to close the studio,
I had that all ripped away from me. So it
was the biggest stress of my life for sure. Say
(02:00):
I'm getting emotional just speaking about it. And so when
I had that taken away, I kind of fell into
a bit of a depression, which I've never been depressed
in my life, because along with that, my mom had
been diagnosed with cancer and I unfortunately lost her during COVID.
So it was really really super challenging. It was just
(02:23):
grief upon grief upon grief.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
How did you handle your grief?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Tanya, Well, yoga and meditation have been a part of
my life for almost two decades, and I'm really grateful
that I have that to fall back on. But I
went through this stage of like, oh, I don't even
like this practice because I was so emotionally imbalanced because
I was going through what I know now was depression
in my meditation practice. I was like, why is this
(02:49):
happening to me? I felt like I was like such
a victim, and meditations didn't even feel good because all
these negative things kept popping up and I'm not normally
that person. I am a person that tries to be
super positive all the time and I show up for
people so that they can see their light, but it
just wasn't working. Once I got diagnosed with my stenia gravis,
(03:09):
I was like, Okay, what can I turn this into? Yeah,
and I decided that I wasn't going to be a victim,
and there was like something bigger than the illness, and
there was something that I was supposed to be doing.
So I was just like, this is actually a gift.
(03:30):
This is something that I can turn into something really positive,
because they say that you're throwing the things in your
life that you can handle, so clearly you know. It
was like, but why is this so challenging? But I
was like, I know why, because I'm here so that
I can help others through their journey.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So just to kind of break down a little bit
the process, what were some of the first symptoms you experienced.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, so I was very physically fit prior to getting
my senior Gravis and I was like a fifty year
old that felt like I was twenty five, honestly. So
I woke up one morning after my mom had passed
away and I couldn't open my eye and I was like, WHOA,
what is this. I have a friend that's a makeup
(04:22):
artist and she was like, oh, you probably just have
a sty It's super common, and I didn't think anything
of it, so I just decided to give it like
a couple of days, and then it wasn't getting better.
It was blurry, and then it was like double vision
and stuff, and I was like, Okay, there's something going
on here, Like I need to see somebody, and so
I went to my optimologist to us up the street
(04:44):
and everything was great of a great vision twenty twenty
and then she's like, but I think there is definitely
something going on. So she was like, let's get you
to see this neural optomologist to figure this out. Next day,
I went and the nurse took a look at me
and she's like, uh, I think I know what's going on.
(05:07):
And she goes and she puts the ice patch over
my eyes and then my eyelid like totally perched back up.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
What Tanya's describing here is called the ice pack test.
Just a little cold on the eyelid can make it
lift back up, and that's a sign it could be
MG rather than something like a STY. It was lucky
that Tanya met that nurse, as we know, not all
of our guests are diagnosed this quickly.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
They referred me to a neurologist and it was confirmed
through blood tests, and I was like, Okay, I've never
heard of this before. And for someone that's been in
the wellness space for like over two decades, I'm aware
of many illnesses and diseases and stuff. I was really
shocked because when I laughed, I started looking it up
and I was like, whoa, this is a big thing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And did you talk to anybody else about your symptoms?
Not really, not at that moment.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Like I have a partner, he's great and everything, but
I think we didn't know the scale of what was
to come, that's for sure, because it was like but
I also part of me was like I immediately read and
then I was kind of scared. But I didn't really
want to go down that.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Hole as someone who, as you mentioned, for two decades,
lived in a sort of wellness centered life. What was
your reaction to hearing those words may asthenia gravis.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I was in complete shock because I was just getting
to a place where, you know, accepting the fact that, okay,
I can learn to teach without having a yoga studio,
and I was going to come online and start working
with my clients. And then I was like, oh, my gosh,
how am I going to teach if my body can't
(06:49):
even walk a straight line? And like all of a sudden,
I have all these upcoming appointments. I had to see
a the racic specialist and then it was confirmed that
I had MoMA and there was a three centimeter growth.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
For listeners, A thoracic specialist focuses on conditions in the chest,
including the thinnest gland. That's important in my asthenia gravis
because some people develop a tumor there called a thioma,
which can complicate the disease and often require surgery.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Then it was like speaking about what's the next steps.
And while all that is happening too, I was having
a hard tem breathing. I had so many symptoms, and honestly,
I was like, who am I How is this happening
to me? I was actually really upset. I was so torn.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I mean, as you mentioned, what was it like to
lose those sort of physical abilities that you once relied on.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I can't even explain other than I was not myself.
I showed up to my partner in a different way.
It was really a really challenging time. But then I realized, okay,
reading that this is an in cure durable disease, that
the only way again is through deep acceptance. So I
(08:06):
was like, if this is going to be a part
of me, what do I have to do? And so
I worked on the deep acceptance. Okay, this is here,
it is a part of my life. Because it was
the symptoms were very present every day, I was like,
you know, my eyes closing, and for me too, like
I have always been a person, I'm very social, I
(08:28):
love people, and I like, I've never had like this,
I need to hide myself. And then all of a sudden,
I was like because I couldn't even recognize myself in
the mirror. And then I just was like, Okay, this
is it, So what am I going to do with it?
And the acceptance came again, and then I was like Okay,
so what do I need to do? How do I
(08:49):
live my life with this? So I started meditating and
back to the meditation and the yoga practice again, which
this time really saved me because I continue to get
the news that I would have to have surgery, which
was really challenging for me to accept also, but I
was like, if this is something that's growing in my
(09:11):
body that needs to be removed, this is the right
thing to do. And I trusted my doctors. I just
decided that I would just listen to their advice because
this was completely new to me.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
So tell us, Tanya, I mean, what is it like then?
From going to be like the strong one like you said,
that was always there for other people, to being someone
who needed care and who needed to get help for yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
That was a tough one, but I really needed that support.
And the thing that I definitely didn't need to do
was act like it had no effect on me because
it was life changing, like completely right, and to be
able to ask for help, to be able to ask
for help and to recognize that my life has changed
(09:56):
and it is okay to ask for help. That I
didn't need to prove anything, and I had a great
group of friends that showed up that I never even expected.
My family has been really supportive though at the beginning
they were like, how did that happen to you?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
And so Tanya, since your diagnosis has moving forward been
a linear process would have been some of the ups
and downs.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Wouldn't say it's linear. Life is never linear. So to
be honest, waves, like you said, right, it is definitely
waves because you know, I had to have my surgery
and through that I also was told by my thoristic
surgeon that I needed to have radiation. Like my doctors
in the past were like acupuncturist, massage therapists and natural
(10:44):
paths and now I have a team. But I love
like my experience too with my doctors, like I do
appreciate them, and I think I am in good hands.
But one thing for myself, recognize, like I'm really like
I have always been in tune with my emotions. But
(11:05):
I recognize too when I'm kind of going down, because
some days it's challenging, you know, because everyone's like, oh,
but you know, like they're always complimenting me about like
how great I look and I don't look like I
have an illness and and I'm like, oh, like that
can beat you down too, because like we live in
a world where it's like disappearance of the outside world,
(11:28):
but like this is an invisible illness. But I've adjusted
to it, Like I feel like I'm in a really
good place with it now because of my practice.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So, yeah, Antanna, you've mentioned that journaling and having a
meditation and spiritual practice has been helpful. Could you talk
a little bit more about what role they played in
your healing.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, the journaling and meditation are huge. It's a way
for myself to heal, and it's the process that I've chosen.
So I pretty much commit to journaling almost daily if
I can, whether it's like five minutes, but sometimes I
can have a little bit more. And I feel like,
you know, when I look back through the stages from
(12:08):
diagnose to where I am now, I've made huge progress
and I have journaling and meditating to thank for that.
And in fact, I've actually like this has come up
during meditation that I would love to support other women
that are going through the same thing as I am currently.
(12:29):
So I became a meditation guide on a very popular app,
and I'm focusing on working with people with chronic illness.
So through my meditation practice that has come up that
this is something additionally what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And then you went to do it and you actually
got it done.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
And I went to do it. Yeah. And so, Tanya,
how did you find your way back to yoga after
my surgery? I was basically starting from scratch. I knew
it was the other piece that I would definitely need
to return to, and it was super humbling. Like the
first time I practiced after I had my surgery, I
(13:11):
couldn't even support my body because I was super weak, right,
And I was returning to it daily, just doing what
I could, whether it was like five minutes, ten minutes,
and I would eventually see that my strength would slowly increase.
And my goal was to get back to teaching right,
(13:32):
and so I just committed to my practice. I was
building it up stronger, getting stronger and stronger each day,
and I felt really, really good. And then I got
to the point where with my studio I had for
ten years, I built a lot of relationships with my
clients who have become my friends, and they showed up
(13:57):
for me and they were so patient and they were like,
we're waiting for you, So that inspired me to just
get back into teaching again.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
What stands out in Tanya's story is how her diagnosis
forced her into kind of a second act. She had
to let go of the life she once knew, and
in doing so, she discovered a holy life. That's amazing. Yeah,
it sounds like you've sort of rediscovered your purpose.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, I definitely have. It's teaching yoga, working with people,
and helping women realize that through this time of challenge,
there is a lot that we can learn about ourselves.
And we have to be patient and realize that this
is just something that's happening for you. And life is
never linear, even when you don't have an illness.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
That's true, And Tanya, you've said, my goal now is
to spread awareness about MG and to support those who
are suffering. What drives you to be an advocate?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I have people in my life and I know that
I'm loved and I just want to continue to give
that love back, and I feel like that there isn't
enough awareness for it. So I have been given this
gift to spread the word and to just help people
going through this see that it's not always gloom and doom.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, it sounds like it's been transformative, and so it's
almost that, you know, you become an advocate and leading
by example. Yeah, and it shows you that resilience that
you have. And so you mentioned before about your wellness community.
Could you talk a little bit more about how they
responded and did you have to overcome any sort of
fear of judgment that may have come around by going public.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah. I was a little hesitant to be honest at
the beginning because there was a bit of shame involved
one for sure, because I thought I was like the
perfect image of health and I was slightly embarrass And
then I realize my clients and the patients were there
for me and if my teaching would change, meaning physically,
(16:11):
they would understand. So I remember the first time that
I was in person with my community teaching yoga. It
was super humbling because I was like, I can't do
half of these things, but you all have been with
me long enough that I can verbally queue and teach better.
And I to this day, I am basically there to
(16:38):
verbally cue them. They love the vibe and the energy
that I bring to a class. They don't expect me
to do any of the practice and so it's forced
me to be a better verbal teacher. And they see
that I'm showing up in the most positive, authentic self
(16:59):
and they actually feel that I'm the Tanya that they know.
But my practice has changed physically, so I cannot get
on the map as much to demonstrate like the poses
and things. But this is an exercise of patients for
(17:20):
me and humility. And I see how patient they have
been with me, and that to me just equates to love.
They love me, so it's given me permission to love
myself more with this condition.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
It's amazing. We'll be back with more untold stories after
a quick break. As a global immunology company committed to
improving the lives of people living with severe autoimmune conditions,
Ourgenics is dedicated to serving the myasthenia gravis or MG
(17:57):
community through MG United. MG United was created by Urgenics
to empower the MG community by providing the latest information,
resources and support to address the unique ways MG can
affect their lives. It also helps you connect with the
community and see real stories of real people living with
MG wherever you are in your mayasthenia gravist journey. MG
(18:19):
United wants to help make today a Better Day. For
more information about MG United, visit mgdashunited dot com. And
now back to untold stories. Before you had raised the
(18:44):
question about what should a sick person look like, and
this is something that we actually hear a lot about
on the show, that severe autoimmune conditions can be like
invisible disabilities. Can you tell us more about that disconnect
from how people see you and how you actually feel.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yes, so definitely, this illness has led to a lot
of people assuming that this isn't really anything because I
can walk and I look a certain way, and what
(19:24):
I look like and what I feel like are definitely
two different things. And that is kind of what inspired
me to start the t shirts because I guess a
lot of people think that I should be walking faster
because I look like I have a body that should
be walking faster. And I made a shirt that says,
(19:46):
don't stand so close to me because I have MG. Right,
because it is an invisible illness, it's super frustrating and
for me like speaking about it and letting people know
that this is what illness can look like. And just
because I don't have a cane or I'm not in
a wheelchair doesn't mean that I don't have this illness,
(20:09):
So it's important that people understand to be nice to
everyone because everyone has stuff going on, so you don't
know what they're going through, and you don't know what
they're going through, and so for me, I refuse to
let it rule my everyday what I look like and
what I do like, I purposely am choosing to make
(20:32):
sure I move, I'm purposely making sure I meditate, like
I'm doing all the things to help me because everything
could change tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
So yeah, cause you mentioned Tanya that you know acceptance
is the key to learning how to navigate a new
way of life. So can you talk about how you've
rediscovered joy in your personal and professional life that maybe
you didn't expect.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I just have basically made a huge effort to ask
myself what were the important things in my life prior
to this diagnose and music, meditation, movement, all those things
are the things that bring in brought me lots of
joy and continue to So I feel like it's super
(21:20):
important that people return to their passions. And my passion
is music, movement and meditation, and I choose to take
care of myself every day in that way as best
as I can. And I feel like with that positivity
and with these things that I've chosen, I feel like
(21:43):
it is helped me be in a better place with
this illness.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah. And do you feel that this new life is fulfilling?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah. We go to concerts a lot, my partner and
I and how I manage myself when I go to
a show now, because of the lights, I wear sunglasses
all the time. People do think I look cool. I'm surprised.
I've learned how to manage with and I'm just so
much more gentle to myself.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Like that.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
We live in this world where it's like we are
told that we're accomplishing more if we rush and do more,
and it's like learning to slow down and being okay
with that and loving yourself and just being so much
more gentle to yourself is the biggest It's the biggest
radical change, and it's a practice that we could all
(22:37):
benefit from.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Tongue. In the three years since your diagnosis, how has
your definition of success and joy changed?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I was always feeling like I needed to have a
certain place in my career to be doing this and
to be doing this much. And it's hard not to
compare yourself to what other people in your industry are doing.
And I've recognized that what I'm doing is really enough
(23:07):
and I have enough, and I know that in my
heart because I wake up and I'm pretty happy. Like
I get compliments all the time, and it's a choice
that I've made, and I recognize that I have enough
and I do enough, and I'm happy with that.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
It's just good.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
It is good enough, and I have deep gratitude for
all these little things, like the fact that I can
walk my dog, the fact that I can show up
and teach a yoga class my way. You know, it's
a gift. Every day is a gift the way that
I see it. And every day before I go to bed,
I'm just like, I do a scan of my day
and I'm like, I was grateful that I did this,
(23:48):
and I'm grateful that I did that. And I know
it might sound a little wooop for some people, but
it's the energy, it's the frequency in my body that
I've chosen, you know, because I could, I could say
with so much negativity and like resentment, but it's not
my person. It's not who I am naturally, So it's
(24:09):
not how I want to live my life on a
daily basis.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Absolutely, And so tellya what advice would you give to
someone facing the loss of the life that they once
knew because of an illness.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Just understand that this is just a learning experience and
to just stay really strong and to connect yourself with
the right people. You'll notice that when you do get
diagnosed that the people that show up for you are
(24:42):
really what keeps you strong. And it can make all
the difference to know that you have the best support system.
So just like filter out what you need to do
and just really take care of yourself, your emotional mental
health of that. Like, it's so important and you are important.
(25:03):
So as soon as you recognize that you are going
to be okay and your life is just going to
look just a little bit different, something just changes. It
really does. It is not to dismiss the fact that
there are real things happening, but life is never linear,
and there's going to be amazing things and then there's
(25:26):
going to be really challenging things, and you just have
to ride the wave of it all with like super
super deep softness and love for yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Right, don't hold on to it too tightly, right, you.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Know, because it's all energy and just focus on managing
like what life will look like, and surround yourself with
people that love you.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
What I love so much about what Tanya is saying
is that rediscovering joy doesn't mean ignoring the hard parts.
It means learning to carry them with compassion and the
right people help you through. Tonie, what mindset or habit
helped you and you would recommend to somebody newly diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Honestly, the thing that has really helped me is meditation.
It really has. And I know that word sometimes can
be scary for people, but even just like sitting and
pausing and just breathing because it will pass. Everything has
to pass. It's not permanent and it's the one thing
(26:33):
in life, the impermanence of life. So the mindset just
being super positive and the meditation practice it's huge.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Yeah. The breath work, like you mentioned just that, how
your breath.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, just a simple action of like box breathing or
just like so many things of just like it doesn't
have to be super complicated. It's just like just take
that pause for yourself, reckon nice, catch your feelings and
honor that. Don't try to change anything, just be aware
of it and then let it move through you.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I just learned what box breathing is. That's you hold
it in. Yeah, box breathing is great. Could you just
describe it as for a second. So, box breathing is
a method that like you inhale for four, you pause
for four, you exhale for four, and then you inhale.
So it's like you're tracing a box with your breath
(27:29):
and it helps regulate. It signals to your nervous system
that you're okay. So we just have to when we're stress.
Anybody should be doing this right whenever you're feeling stress,
just take a moment to pause and then just count
your breath. That's it.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
It really works because we have all the answers inside.
We just have to take the time to like believe
in it and to access it, to access it exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
And I think that that's really, you know, the point
on you, for you to be authentic and for you
to be who you are. And so thank you Tanya
for sharing your story so openly and honestly.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Thank yous a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Tanya's journey speaks so beautifully to this season's theme of resilience, adaptation,
and growth despite challenges. But what stays with me most
is that she didn't just survive a devastating diagnosis, she
built a second life, one filled with clarity, creativity, and joy. So,
whether you're living with MGCIDP or another rare condition, supporting
(28:36):
someone who is, or simply here to listen, I hope
her story leaves you feeling more connected and hopeful. If
this helped you, share it with someone who might benefit.
Until next time, take care. Untold Stories Life with a
Severe Autoimmune Condition is produced by Ruby's Studio from iHeartMedia
(28:56):
in partnership with Argenics, and hosted by me Martine Hackett.
Our executive producer is Yvonne Shehan. Our producer is Leah Sutherland.
This episode was written and produced by Diana Davis. Post
production for this season is by Tom Sullivan and Paul
Videlins of Audiography
Hello and welcome back. This season, we're looking at resilience
in all its forms, how people living with rare autoimmune
conditions like MG and CIDP not only face the impossible,
but also find ways to move forward, rebuild, and transform.
Today's guest, Tanya Cheu, is a longtime yoga teacher and
(00:30):
wellness practitioner from Toronto. After an emotionally devastating year, Tanya's
body began to shift, first her vision, then her energy,
and eventually her ability to move and teach. But Tanya's
story isn't just about loss. It's also about finding light
at the other side of it and the courage it
(00:50):
takes to write a new chapter when the old one closes.
Let's meet her now. Hi, good morning, good morning, it's
so see you. Thank you so much for joining me today.
I'm so happy to be here. Wonderful. Tanya, take us
back to the beginning of twenty twenty two, a couple
years into the pandemic. What did your yoga studio mean
(01:14):
to you and what was it like to lose it?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Oh? What a time. It brings so many emotions up.
I had my yoga studio for ten years and I
was so in tuned with my life, who I was,
my purpose. I am a mom, but my purpose in life,
I felt, other than being a mom, was to help
(01:39):
people love themselves and to just really nourish their bodies
with movement and mindfulness. And then COVID happened, and when
I had to make the decision to close the studio,
I had that all ripped away from me. So it
was the biggest stress of my life for sure. Say
(02:00):
I'm getting emotional just speaking about it. And so when
I had that taken away, I kind of fell into
a bit of a depression, which I've never been depressed
in my life, because along with that, my mom had
been diagnosed with cancer and I unfortunately lost her during COVID.
So it was really really super challenging. It was just
(02:23):
grief upon grief upon grief.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
How did you handle your grief?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Tanya, Well, yoga and meditation have been a part of
my life for almost two decades, and I'm really grateful
that I have that to fall back on. But I
went through this stage of like, oh, I don't even
like this practice because I was so emotionally imbalanced because
I was going through what I know now was depression
in my meditation practice. I was like, why is this
(02:49):
happening to me? I felt like I was like such
a victim, and meditations didn't even feel good because all
these negative things kept popping up and I'm not normally
that person. I am a person that tries to be
super positive all the time and I show up for
people so that they can see their light, but it
just wasn't working. Once I got diagnosed with my stenia gravis,
(03:09):
I was like, Okay, what can I turn this into? Yeah,
and I decided that I wasn't going to be a victim,
and there was like something bigger than the illness, and
there was something that I was supposed to be doing.
So I was just like, this is actually a gift.
(03:30):
This is something that I can turn into something really positive,
because they say that you're throwing the things in your
life that you can handle, so clearly you know. It
was like, but why is this so challenging? But I
was like, I know why, because I'm here so that
I can help others through their journey.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
So just to kind of break down a little bit
the process, what were some of the first symptoms you experienced.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah, so I was very physically fit prior to getting
my senior Gravis and I was like a fifty year
old that felt like I was twenty five, honestly. So
I woke up one morning after my mom had passed
away and I couldn't open my eye and I was like, WHOA,
what is this. I have a friend that's a makeup
(04:22):
artist and she was like, oh, you probably just have
a sty It's super common, and I didn't think anything
of it, so I just decided to give it like
a couple of days, and then it wasn't getting better.
It was blurry, and then it was like double vision
and stuff, and I was like, Okay, there's something going
on here, Like I need to see somebody, and so
I went to my optimologist to us up the street
(04:44):
and everything was great of a great vision twenty twenty
and then she's like, but I think there is definitely
something going on. So she was like, let's get you
to see this neural optomologist to figure this out. Next day,
I went and the nurse took a look at me
and she's like, uh, I think I know what's going on.
(05:07):
And she goes and she puts the ice patch over
my eyes and then my eyelid like totally perched back up.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
What Tanya's describing here is called the ice pack test.
Just a little cold on the eyelid can make it
lift back up, and that's a sign it could be
MG rather than something like a STY. It was lucky
that Tanya met that nurse, as we know, not all
of our guests are diagnosed this quickly.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
They referred me to a neurologist and it was confirmed
through blood tests, and I was like, Okay, I've never
heard of this before. And for someone that's been in
the wellness space for like over two decades, I'm aware
of many illnesses and diseases and stuff. I was really
shocked because when I laughed, I started looking it up
and I was like, whoa, this is a big thing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And did you talk to anybody else about your symptoms?
Not really, not at that moment.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Like I have a partner, he's great and everything, but
I think we didn't know the scale of what was
to come, that's for sure, because it was like but
I also part of me was like I immediately read and
then I was kind of scared. But I didn't really
want to go down that.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Hole as someone who, as you mentioned, for two decades,
lived in a sort of wellness centered life. What was
your reaction to hearing those words may asthenia gravis.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I was in complete shock because I was just getting
to a place where, you know, accepting the fact that, okay,
I can learn to teach without having a yoga studio,
and I was going to come online and start working
with my clients. And then I was like, oh, my gosh,
how am I going to teach if my body can't
(06:49):
even walk a straight line? And like all of a sudden,
I have all these upcoming appointments. I had to see
a the racic specialist and then it was confirmed that
I had MoMA and there was a three centimeter growth.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
For listeners, A thoracic specialist focuses on conditions in the chest,
including the thinnest gland. That's important in my asthenia gravis
because some people develop a tumor there called a thioma,
which can complicate the disease and often require surgery.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Then it was like speaking about what's the next steps.
And while all that is happening too, I was having
a hard tem breathing. I had so many symptoms, and honestly,
I was like, who am I How is this happening
to me? I was actually really upset. I was so torn.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
I mean, as you mentioned, what was it like to
lose those sort of physical abilities that you once relied on.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
I can't even explain other than I was not myself.
I showed up to my partner in a different way.
It was really a really challenging time. But then I realized, okay,
reading that this is an in cure durable disease, that
the only way again is through deep acceptance. So I
(08:06):
was like, if this is going to be a part
of me, what do I have to do? And so
I worked on the deep acceptance. Okay, this is here,
it is a part of my life. Because it was
the symptoms were very present every day, I was like,
you know, my eyes closing, and for me too, like
I have always been a person, I'm very social, I
(08:28):
love people, and I like, I've never had like this,
I need to hide myself. And then all of a sudden,
I was like because I couldn't even recognize myself in
the mirror. And then I just was like, Okay, this
is it, So what am I going to do with it?
And the acceptance came again, and then I was like Okay,
so what do I need to do? How do I
(08:49):
live my life with this? So I started meditating and
back to the meditation and the yoga practice again, which
this time really saved me because I continue to get
the news that I would have to have surgery, which
was really challenging for me to accept also, but I
was like, if this is something that's growing in my
(09:11):
body that needs to be removed, this is the right
thing to do. And I trusted my doctors. I just
decided that I would just listen to their advice because
this was completely new to me.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
So tell us, Tanya, I mean, what is it like then?
From going to be like the strong one like you said,
that was always there for other people, to being someone
who needed care and who needed to get help for yourself.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
That was a tough one, but I really needed that support.
And the thing that I definitely didn't need to do
was act like it had no effect on me because
it was life changing, like completely right, and to be
able to ask for help, to be able to ask
for help and to recognize that my life has changed
(09:56):
and it is okay to ask for help. That I
didn't need to prove anything, and I had a great
group of friends that showed up that I never even expected.
My family has been really supportive though at the beginning
they were like, how did that happen to you?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
And so Tanya, since your diagnosis has moving forward been
a linear process would have been some of the ups
and downs.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Wouldn't say it's linear. Life is never linear. So to
be honest, waves, like you said, right, it is definitely
waves because you know, I had to have my surgery
and through that I also was told by my thoristic
surgeon that I needed to have radiation. Like my doctors
in the past were like acupuncturist, massage therapists and natural
(10:44):
paths and now I have a team. But I love
like my experience too with my doctors, like I do
appreciate them, and I think I am in good hands.
But one thing for myself, recognize, like I'm really like
I have always been in tune with my emotions. But
(11:05):
I recognize too when I'm kind of going down, because
some days it's challenging, you know, because everyone's like, oh,
but you know, like they're always complimenting me about like
how great I look and I don't look like I
have an illness and and I'm like, oh, like that
can beat you down too, because like we live in
a world where it's like disappearance of the outside world,
(11:28):
but like this is an invisible illness. But I've adjusted
to it, Like I feel like I'm in a really
good place with it now because of my practice.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
So, yeah, Antanna, you've mentioned that journaling and having a
meditation and spiritual practice has been helpful. Could you talk
a little bit more about what role they played in
your healing.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, the journaling and meditation are huge. It's a way
for myself to heal, and it's the process that I've chosen.
So I pretty much commit to journaling almost daily if
I can, whether it's like five minutes, but sometimes I
can have a little bit more. And I feel like,
you know, when I look back through the stages from
(12:08):
diagnose to where I am now, I've made huge progress
and I have journaling and meditating to thank for that.
And in fact, I've actually like this has come up
during meditation that I would love to support other women
that are going through the same thing as I am currently.
(12:29):
So I became a meditation guide on a very popular app,
and I'm focusing on working with people with chronic illness.
So through my meditation practice that has come up that
this is something additionally what I need to do.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
And then you went to do it and you actually
got it done.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
And I went to do it. Yeah. And so, Tanya,
how did you find your way back to yoga after
my surgery? I was basically starting from scratch. I knew
it was the other piece that I would definitely need
to return to, and it was super humbling. Like the
first time I practiced after I had my surgery, I
(13:11):
couldn't even support my body because I was super weak, right,
And I was returning to it daily, just doing what
I could, whether it was like five minutes, ten minutes,
and I would eventually see that my strength would slowly increase.
And my goal was to get back to teaching right,
(13:32):
and so I just committed to my practice. I was
building it up stronger, getting stronger and stronger each day,
and I felt really, really good. And then I got
to the point where with my studio I had for
ten years, I built a lot of relationships with my
clients who have become my friends, and they showed up
(13:57):
for me and they were so patient and they were like,
we're waiting for you, So that inspired me to just
get back into teaching again.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
What stands out in Tanya's story is how her diagnosis
forced her into kind of a second act. She had
to let go of the life she once knew, and
in doing so, she discovered a holy life. That's amazing. Yeah,
it sounds like you've sort of rediscovered your purpose.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Yeah, I definitely have. It's teaching yoga, working with people,
and helping women realize that through this time of challenge,
there is a lot that we can learn about ourselves.
And we have to be patient and realize that this
is just something that's happening for you. And life is
never linear, even when you don't have an illness.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
That's true, And Tanya, you've said, my goal now is
to spread awareness about MG and to support those who
are suffering. What drives you to be an advocate?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I have people in my life and I know that
I'm loved and I just want to continue to give
that love back, and I feel like that there isn't
enough awareness for it. So I have been given this
gift to spread the word and to just help people
going through this see that it's not always gloom and doom.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah, it sounds like it's been transformative, and so it's
almost that, you know, you become an advocate and leading
by example. Yeah, and it shows you that resilience that
you have. And so you mentioned before about your wellness community.
Could you talk a little bit more about how they
responded and did you have to overcome any sort of
fear of judgment that may have come around by going public.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah. I was a little hesitant to be honest at
the beginning because there was a bit of shame involved
one for sure, because I thought I was like the
perfect image of health and I was slightly embarrass And
then I realize my clients and the patients were there
for me and if my teaching would change, meaning physically,
(16:11):
they would understand. So I remember the first time that
I was in person with my community teaching yoga. It
was super humbling because I was like, I can't do
half of these things, but you all have been with
me long enough that I can verbally queue and teach better.
And I to this day, I am basically there to
(16:38):
verbally cue them. They love the vibe and the energy
that I bring to a class. They don't expect me
to do any of the practice and so it's forced
me to be a better verbal teacher. And they see
that I'm showing up in the most positive, authentic self
(16:59):
and they actually feel that I'm the Tanya that they know.
But my practice has changed physically, so I cannot get
on the map as much to demonstrate like the poses
and things. But this is an exercise of patients for
(17:20):
me and humility. And I see how patient they have
been with me, and that to me just equates to love.
They love me, so it's given me permission to love
myself more with this condition.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
It's amazing. We'll be back with more untold stories after
a quick break. As a global immunology company committed to
improving the lives of people living with severe autoimmune conditions,
Ourgenics is dedicated to serving the myasthenia gravis or MG
(17:57):
community through MG United. MG United was created by Urgenics
to empower the MG community by providing the latest information,
resources and support to address the unique ways MG can
affect their lives. It also helps you connect with the
community and see real stories of real people living with
MG wherever you are in your mayasthenia gravist journey. MG
(18:19):
United wants to help make today a Better Day. For
more information about MG United, visit mgdashunited dot com. And
now back to untold stories. Before you had raised the
(18:44):
question about what should a sick person look like, and
this is something that we actually hear a lot about
on the show, that severe autoimmune conditions can be like
invisible disabilities. Can you tell us more about that disconnect
from how people see you and how you actually feel.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Yes, so definitely, this illness has led to a lot
of people assuming that this isn't really anything because I
can walk and I look a certain way, and what
(19:24):
I look like and what I feel like are definitely
two different things. And that is kind of what inspired
me to start the t shirts because I guess a
lot of people think that I should be walking faster
because I look like I have a body that should
be walking faster. And I made a shirt that says,
(19:46):
don't stand so close to me because I have MG. Right,
because it is an invisible illness, it's super frustrating and
for me like speaking about it and letting people know
that this is what illness can look like. And just
because I don't have a cane or I'm not in
a wheelchair doesn't mean that I don't have this illness,
(20:09):
So it's important that people understand to be nice to
everyone because everyone has stuff going on, so you don't
know what they're going through, and you don't know what
they're going through, and so for me, I refuse to
let it rule my everyday what I look like and
what I do like, I purposely am choosing to make
(20:32):
sure I move, I'm purposely making sure I meditate, like
I'm doing all the things to help me because everything
could change tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
So yeah, cause you mentioned Tanya that you know acceptance
is the key to learning how to navigate a new
way of life. So can you talk about how you've
rediscovered joy in your personal and professional life that maybe
you didn't expect.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I just have basically made a huge effort to ask
myself what were the important things in my life prior
to this diagnose and music, meditation, movement, all those things
are the things that bring in brought me lots of
joy and continue to So I feel like it's super
(21:20):
important that people return to their passions. And my passion
is music, movement and meditation, and I choose to take
care of myself every day in that way as best
as I can. And I feel like with that positivity
and with these things that I've chosen, I feel like
(21:43):
it is helped me be in a better place with
this illness.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yeah. And do you feel that this new life is fulfilling?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Yeah. We go to concerts a lot, my partner and
I and how I manage myself when I go to
a show now, because of the lights, I wear sunglasses
all the time. People do think I look cool. I'm surprised.
I've learned how to manage with and I'm just so
much more gentle to myself.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Like that.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
We live in this world where it's like we are
told that we're accomplishing more if we rush and do more,
and it's like learning to slow down and being okay
with that and loving yourself and just being so much
more gentle to yourself is the biggest It's the biggest
radical change, and it's a practice that we could all
(22:37):
benefit from.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Tongue. In the three years since your diagnosis, how has
your definition of success and joy changed?
Speaker 2 (22:45):
I was always feeling like I needed to have a
certain place in my career to be doing this and
to be doing this much. And it's hard not to
compare yourself to what other people in your industry are doing.
And I've recognized that what I'm doing is really enough
(23:07):
and I have enough, and I know that in my
heart because I wake up and I'm pretty happy. Like
I get compliments all the time, and it's a choice
that I've made, and I recognize that I have enough
and I do enough, and I'm happy with that.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
It's just good.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
It is good enough, and I have deep gratitude for
all these little things, like the fact that I can
walk my dog, the fact that I can show up
and teach a yoga class my way. You know, it's
a gift. Every day is a gift the way that
I see it. And every day before I go to bed,
I'm just like, I do a scan of my day
and I'm like, I was grateful that I did this,
(23:48):
and I'm grateful that I did that. And I know
it might sound a little wooop for some people, but
it's the energy, it's the frequency in my body that
I've chosen, you know, because I could, I could say
with so much negativity and like resentment, but it's not
my person. It's not who I am naturally, So it's
(24:09):
not how I want to live my life on a
daily basis.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Absolutely, And so tellya what advice would you give to
someone facing the loss of the life that they once
knew because of an illness.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
Just understand that this is just a learning experience and
to just stay really strong and to connect yourself with
the right people. You'll notice that when you do get
diagnosed that the people that show up for you are
(24:42):
really what keeps you strong. And it can make all
the difference to know that you have the best support system.
So just like filter out what you need to do
and just really take care of yourself, your emotional mental
health of that. Like, it's so important and you are important.
(25:03):
So as soon as you recognize that you are going
to be okay and your life is just going to
look just a little bit different, something just changes. It
really does. It is not to dismiss the fact that
there are real things happening, but life is never linear,
and there's going to be amazing things and then there's
(25:26):
going to be really challenging things, and you just have
to ride the wave of it all with like super
super deep softness and love for yourself.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Right, don't hold on to it too tightly, right, you.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Know, because it's all energy and just focus on managing
like what life will look like, and surround yourself with
people that love you.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
What I love so much about what Tanya is saying
is that rediscovering joy doesn't mean ignoring the hard parts.
It means learning to carry them with compassion and the
right people help you through. Tonie, what mindset or habit
helped you and you would recommend to somebody newly diagnosed.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Honestly, the thing that has really helped me is meditation.
It really has. And I know that word sometimes can
be scary for people, but even just like sitting and
pausing and just breathing because it will pass. Everything has
to pass. It's not permanent and it's the one thing
(26:33):
in life, the impermanence of life. So the mindset just
being super positive and the meditation practice it's huge.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Yeah. The breath work, like you mentioned just that, how
your breath.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, just a simple action of like box breathing or
just like so many things of just like it doesn't
have to be super complicated. It's just like just take
that pause for yourself, reckon nice, catch your feelings and
honor that. Don't try to change anything, just be aware
of it and then let it move through you.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I just learned what box breathing is. That's you hold
it in. Yeah, box breathing is great. Could you just
describe it as for a second. So, box breathing is
a method that like you inhale for four, you pause
for four, you exhale for four, and then you inhale.
So it's like you're tracing a box with your breath
(27:29):
and it helps regulate. It signals to your nervous system
that you're okay. So we just have to when we're stress.
Anybody should be doing this right whenever you're feeling stress,
just take a moment to pause and then just count
your breath. That's it.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
It really works because we have all the answers inside.
We just have to take the time to like believe
in it and to access it, to access it exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
And I think that that's really, you know, the point
on you, for you to be authentic and for you
to be who you are. And so thank you Tanya
for sharing your story so openly and honestly.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Thank yous a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Tanya's journey speaks so beautifully to this season's theme of resilience, adaptation,
and growth despite challenges. But what stays with me most
is that she didn't just survive a devastating diagnosis, she
built a second life, one filled with clarity, creativity, and joy. So,
whether you're living with MGCIDP or another rare condition, supporting
(28:36):
someone who is, or simply here to listen, I hope
her story leaves you feeling more connected and hopeful. If
this helped you, share it with someone who might benefit.
Until next time, take care. Untold Stories Life with a
Severe Autoimmune Condition is produced by Ruby's Studio from iHeartMedia
(28:56):
in partnership with Argenics, and hosted by me Martine Hackett.
Our executive producer is Yvonne Shehan. Our producer is Leah Sutherland.
This episode was written and produced by Diana Davis. Post
production for this season is by Tom Sullivan and Paul
Videlins of Audiography
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