December 17, 2025 • 19 mins
A co-parenting convo quickly turns into comedy when Lala and Ambyr talk ‘masturbation Monday’s’ and ‘saggy old man balls.’
Find out who likes them young, who you might find sliding into your DM’s, and why Ambyr says the holidays will never be the same.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. Hello, Gorgeous,
Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. I am back not so
better than ever. Hi Amber, Hi Loala. This is so
exciting because we finally get to talk about the project
(00:21):
we've been working on.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Finally.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yay. You guys know that I had Amber on the
first episode of Untraditionally Lala, and we had been going
back and forth about doing something in some capacity together
for I want to say, like four years. Yeah, probably right,
it's been a minute, and finally it was the right
time and our new podcast, An Unlikely Affair, is officially happening.
(00:50):
I'm so excited about this.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I know so might.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
What made you feel like it was like the right
time for us to do something like this?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
You know, I think what we said on the previous
podcast is that we were both like it's kind of
like a marriage, like one wants to leave and one
wants it to stay, and one the other one wants
to leave it. So and I think you and I
were just in different parts and healing parts of our life.
And for me, I mean, I'll just speak on for myself.
Is like now I could finally talk from a place
(01:19):
of healing not hurt, because you know, obviously, everything that
I've been through in my life with you, with my family,
it's sometimes it can really stir up a lot of
emotions and that those emotions are shame, anger. And it
doesn't mean that like I don't get there, because there
are definitely days and you know this because I call
you hright, but I just I feel like it's like, Okay, finally,
(01:42):
now is the time that like we could go out
and help other women who've experienced or are going through
something very similar like you and I have.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I fully agree with that. And there are so many
moments where I feel like I'm over something, whether it
has to do with friendships, certain relationships that I've been
in my past, where you do come from a place
of anger and shame and if you start looping. And
(02:13):
I'm so proud of the progress that I've made in
so many of those moments where it's like, wow, I
can sit here and I can think about every detail
of my past and not feel any of those things.
And I'm excited for us to talk about the light
at the end of the tunnel, because when you're in
it I know so many people who are like, this
(02:34):
is my life forever and how am I ever going
to recover from this sort of anger and shame? Especially
with the holidays coming up, it's like a very isolating time.
If you have to co parent, that is a fucking nightmare.
By the way, are you in it or are what's
the deal with that? I'm figuring it out.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I'm figuring it out. I'm like a big mush
fall during the holidays And what do you mean? The
holidays are just really special for.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Me, Like I get depressed. I do.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I do get depressed, and I think I get more depressed,
like the day after Christmas. And I've always been this week,
especially as a kid, because it was like my family
went went all out for Christmas. It was like we
would have a halftime and so I gave my kids
that with you know who, and it was beautiful. But
now it's like now when you have to split that
(03:31):
the holidays just never feel the same after you get divorced.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Ever ever, you know, I with the person we have
in common, I just remember every single moment, whether it
was a dinner on a Tuesday or Christmas Day being
rushed like there was no magic to anything with him, so.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Like, get through the Christmas present as fast as possible.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, And I've never experienced a holiday in a relationship
with a child, you know, Ocean's always been split for everything, which.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Is good because she'll know the difference. Yeah, she'll or
she won't know the difference. She won't know the different difference.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I don't know the difference, yeah, because I have nothing.
I mean I was around your kids on you know, Christmas,
even Christmas Day when you guys would have to do
the exchange. But it's it's so different when it's your
own child, obviously, and so I don't know, like this
is just my norm. Yeah, and it's hard to because
(04:34):
now So says getting to a really fun age and
Ocean is looking at her like, oh my gosh, this
is my friend. And now when I say like, hey,
you're going to your dad's house this weekend, she's like,
but my sister, I don't want to leave, and that
that's kind of like. I love that she wants to
(04:55):
go over to his house, because if she didn't, that
would be got wrenching for me.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yeah, that's a whole nother yeah, ball game, but he
makes it very fun he does make it very fine,
very fun over there.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But I love that, Like, oh, Ocean is now looking
at so says like her little her little friend. So
I'm starting to get a little bit nervous about the
holiday approaching because I know Ocean's gonna want to he
with her sister.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I know, but you know what you just have to
I think the most important thing that you should do
is just acknowledge Ocean's feelings right totally. And I think
this is the age where I wish I would have
had all the all of the resources and books that
I have now that I've read or you know, friends
that have helped me along the way. Just acknowledge your feelings, like, yeah,
I understand how that could be really hard, Like you
(05:40):
have to identify the name of the feeling because she
doesn't know these yet. So don't dismiss it, like, oh,
you'll be fine. You know, we'll see you whenever you
come back, and we'll have our Christmas. It's like, oh,
tell me how, like that must feel really hard or
that must make you sad? Does that make you sad?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Totally? You know, Ocean's really good at pinpointing her emotions and.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
If she's anything like London.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Yes, yes she is. Do you think that like when
you see Ocean? I know she's only four and a half.
Do you see similarities in our kids? Oh yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I see a huge similarity between London and Ocean.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay, and what are those similarities?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Super talkative, like very verbal, like just says it how
it is. I call it diary of the mouth. You're
just like, oh my god, I cannot point. My fucking
child just said that. But it's cute, like she's you know,
I see the biggest now with Riley and Ocean, I haven't.
I feel like I haven't been around them enough together,
(06:41):
Like I see Riley's taking on such a mommy roll
when it comes to Ocean. But I think London and
Ocean are like even there. I mean, I've shown you
pictures side by side. It's freaking scary. It's like, oh
my god, it's so cute.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
But I think Ocean looks like you really, Yeah, I've
told you this before. It's so cute AND's sosa oh yeah,
like they both maybe they maybe they are, maybe they
both resemble you maybe in a previous life.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Maybe you know it's funny you posted something on I
think it was a a story and I actually saw
Ocean and Sosa for the first time.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Really, okay, can I tell you you are not the
first person to say that to me?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Really No, It's something that I posted recently, yere I
had people I.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Had to like stop it and go, oh my gosh,
she looks like Ocean a little bit.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Wow. I could be making this up in my head,
but I do feel like Ocean is starting to look
more like me. She obviously looks like him. I know
that he's participated in the making of Ocean, but I
feel like, okay, you like some of my DNA is. Yeah, yeah,
(07:56):
not just in the personality of her being a back.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I think her personality is more like you.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Oh yeah, okay, I'm going toes with I lied to you.
She's very much like me. However, she's a lot like him,
where she will verbally waterboard you until you're like, fine,
I don't give a fuck, leave me the fuck alone,
you know, like the fly that's oh.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
My god, relentless, relentless.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's exhausting. I will look at her. We were in
Hawaii and I was like, I don't want to go
toes with you today. Make mommy's life easy today. Yeah,
mommy's life is gonna be easy.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Are we gonna have a good day or bad day? Yeah?
She's like, I know, mom, but I just wanted to know.
And I'm like, I've said it five fucking times no,
and then you want to know what happens. I give
her what she wants because I'm like, I don't want
a battle. I just the beach. I know, I am.
Did you have fun in Hawaii at the best time? Yeah,
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Your ass looked a really good in some of those photos.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
By the way, I was like, damn, okay, a lot
of you do nothing popping it the right way? Are
you joking what? Everyone's like, Oh my god, you're bounce back.
I'm like, okay, yes, but at the same time, angles, yes,
angles and lighting, lighting, editing, you know, yeah, but you
(09:19):
don't need a lot of editing. I've seen your your
you've seen my naked body before. Yeah, I'm a naked lady.
I've seen your.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Naked body a lot, front, back, inside, all of it.
But we don't need to go there. That was like
six seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Oh Amber, why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I just I couldn't you open the door.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You opened the door literally, Yeah on the phone? What
are you talking? Oh my god, I want to throw up.
No one knows this story.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Oh really, well, then let's save it for later. Then,
you know what, I feel like this is a good
New Year's story.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I feel like this is a good first episode of
an unlikely affair story. Yeah, how do you feel like
the person that we the reason for why you and
I know each other, is going to react.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Listen, I'm not doing this for anyone but us and
women out in the world and mothers out in the world.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
It's this is this is our thing. I agree with that,
and I don't need permission anymore in my life. I'm
arrived at a very different phase, and you know, a
lot has to do with just time and healing and
forgiveness and sobriety and removing and you know what, I'm
fucking I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I don't care. I love that you just said that,
because there were many moments that you and I would
talk and I feel like you would come from a
(10:54):
place of fear. Yeah, because I was.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I was, I had the hands around my you, Yeah,
in a big way, and I just I can't. I'm
not living my life anymore. Like you know, I'm I'm
a grown woman, you know, right, And I'm I'm just
I'm just at a different phase of my life. Like
I said before, It's like I'm talking from a place
of healing and compassion and experience and what you and
(11:21):
I went through. And still I'm still in the shit.
You know, I have an almost sixteen year old and
a twelve year old. I'm in a really tough spot
when it comes to co parenting teenage daughters.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Right, It's hard. Yeah, No, I can't. I can't imagine.
We spoke about this the last time I had you
on untraditionally La La. But I come to you because
you know your girls and the co parenting of it
all that is a window into my future, in Ocean's future,
and just being a mom going into teenage years, which
(11:56):
I'm gonna blink and that's going to happen. And it's
just a different world than when I grew up. And
there's city kids living in LA with phones and iPads
and Instagram and it freaks me out. And then you
take two households and in our situation, it being impossible
to co parent there's it's only parallel parenting because you
(12:20):
have no fucking idea what's going on over there. No
one is honest, no one is truthful.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
And there are more Well, that's because everybody that has
worked over there lives in.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Complete fear in hands around the neck. Yeah, I, for
the most part don't even know where the fuck my
child is.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, And I want our podcast. I want an Unlikely
Affair to be about you and me and our experiences.
That person is one just some the reason for why
you and I know each other.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, I mean, listen, this is gonna be such a
fun podcast.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
So much fun. And this person is a silhouette, like
he's nameless in all of it. This is this is
a way for women or even men to come and
talk about the challenges of co parenting, the upsides, what
it's like to go out and venture into sex. I mean, you, guys,
I hit up a twenty six year olds on Instagram.
I went in for a twenty three year old and
(13:20):
my mom was like, that is so fucking foul la
la oh my gosh. Yeah wow. Yeah. She was like,
I won't allow it.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Did you do a kissy face emoji?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Like I didn't even send it because I was I
got shamed.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Good, you know what, Thank you. I'm gonna call Lisa
today and be like, you know what, Lisa, good for you.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, twenty three is a little young. It is.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It's funny.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
You go young and I go like, you go too
fucking old amber. They're like ready to be buried.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Wait, can I say something to you?
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I do hot to let saggy old man balls slap
against your ak. Okay, I will not allow it any longer.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Okay. I took your advice, and I would like to
declare something to declare it 'tis the season okay for
masturbation Monday?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh oh so fun. It's so what is this about?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Remember last time you told me? Yeah, you shared your
like mid day find a day of the week, midday
and do your thing. And I started in Montana. I
started doing it. It's amazing. So I said, Okay, my
schedules a little nuts. So we're going to declare Monday
for masturbation Monday. And I want all the women in
the world between from like twelve and like pickup time
(14:37):
right like twelve and three, twelve and two depends on
how old your kids are, take care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
You don't have to twist my arm. It was beautiful Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Stursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Like, where's laala? I no wonder when you're not replying
to any messages, I'm like, this chick is masturbating. Geez.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I love this idea. Yeah, And can I tell you
ocean sleepy in the bed is a little bit of
a buzzkill.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Oh, I can't get Riley out of my room.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
And that's why you have to have that window. And
just like a little toy, you women need it. Why
do you think Sony Morgan is so happy all the time.
She is freshly fucked at all times.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
You know what it's like making love to myself for
the first time.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I know. That's the way.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Like I put on music and I light a candle
and it's like a whole It's like a whole beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And I think about my own self.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah, I'm like, I love you, Amber, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I don't think about anybody else. I think about myself.
I'm like, yeah, that's the spot. And does it like
my little drawer full of toys?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I know, I know, I just have one.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Oh, we gotta step it up. Yeah, yeah, do you
know how many? How many companies send me vibrators? And
my mom's like another one came and I'm looking at it.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Even went to your mom.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I've given them, I've given them to her, and I'm like,
this is a fucking you hear Lisa, like Uki, if
I heard that, I would die. I would die.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
No, Amber, I know, I get it, I know, but
your mom is a she. She's got to do her
thing too great, lovely. I don't want to hear she's
probably at your house doing it right now.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
She should. I'm gone, Easton's gone, kids are gone. These
are the types of conversations we will be having on
an unlikely affair at all times. I want to mention
all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I can't wait to dive in. I want to know
who you're sleeping with, but I want to know, like
what's going on because I feel like you just you,
You're I feel like I could learn a.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Lot from you. Yeah you do, I do. I do.
Like in terms of what I love talking about sex,
Oh my god, that's my same topic that I'm the
most excited about. But on top of that, feeling like
so says what fifteen months, and I still feel like
I'm coming out of like this postpartum journey. And I
(17:12):
know that I put on my Instagram that it takes
seven years from what I've read for a woman to
like fully heal and remember who she is in her
own identity. I'm still working on trying to figure out,
like who am I? Because I have out of body
experiences a lot, and I know that I'm not the
only one. Anytime I'm not with my kids, I feel
like I'm removed watching myself be a normal thirty five
(17:35):
year old woman, going, God, you're so fucking stupid. Shut up,
go home to like your babies and like lay in bed.
I feel like I my purpose is one thing and
one thing only right now, which is being at home
with my kids. And anytime I'm not doing that, I
have an out of body experience.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah there's a lot of guilt and shame. Yeah that
comes with being a mom, but you have to just
it's it's balance. And like people were like, oh, there's
no such thing as balance.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
If I fully believe that that is true, Like, like,
you're you're doing such a great job. You handle so
much like people don't realize behind the scenes of everything
else that they do, and they see you, like in
front of the TV screen what you handle well, thank
you and you're doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, and that's all you can do.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
You just show up every day and listen. We like
we're in a program where it's a twenty four hour
day at a time. Like that's all you have in
front of you.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah. I love that, and I love you and I'm
so excited to do this with you.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
I love it too, sex and rock and roll.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I love you, guys. Thank you for listening to another
episode of Untraditionally La La. I will catch you guys
next week, and remember an unlikely affair with Lalakhent and
Amber Childers is coming your way. Love y'all. Bye,
Hello, Gorgeous. It's La La Kent. Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. Hello, Gorgeous,
Welcome to Untraditionally, La La. I am back not so
better than ever. Hi Amber, Hi Loala. This is so
exciting because we finally get to talk about the project
(00:21):
we've been working on.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Finally.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Yay. You guys know that I had Amber on the
first episode of Untraditionally Lala, and we had been going
back and forth about doing something in some capacity together
for I want to say, like four years. Yeah, probably right,
it's been a minute, and finally it was the right
time and our new podcast, An Unlikely Affair, is officially happening.
(00:50):
I'm so excited about this.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I know so might.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
What made you feel like it was like the right
time for us to do something like this?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
You know, I think what we said on the previous
podcast is that we were both like it's kind of
like a marriage, like one wants to leave and one
wants it to stay, and one the other one wants
to leave it. So and I think you and I
were just in different parts and healing parts of our life.
And for me, I mean, I'll just speak on for myself.
Is like now I could finally talk from a place
(01:19):
of healing not hurt, because you know, obviously, everything that
I've been through in my life with you, with my family,
it's sometimes it can really stir up a lot of
emotions and that those emotions are shame, anger. And it
doesn't mean that like I don't get there, because there
are definitely days and you know this because I call
you hright, but I just I feel like it's like, Okay, finally,
(01:42):
now is the time that like we could go out
and help other women who've experienced or are going through
something very similar like you and I have.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
I fully agree with that. And there are so many
moments where I feel like I'm over something, whether it
has to do with friendships, certain relationships that I've been
in my past, where you do come from a place
of anger and shame and if you start looping. And
(02:13):
I'm so proud of the progress that I've made in
so many of those moments where it's like, wow, I
can sit here and I can think about every detail
of my past and not feel any of those things.
And I'm excited for us to talk about the light
at the end of the tunnel, because when you're in
it I know so many people who are like, this
(02:34):
is my life forever and how am I ever going
to recover from this sort of anger and shame? Especially
with the holidays coming up, it's like a very isolating time.
If you have to co parent, that is a fucking nightmare.
By the way, are you in it or are what's
the deal with that? I'm figuring it out.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, I'm figuring it out. I'm like a big mush
fall during the holidays And what do you mean? The
holidays are just really special for.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Me, Like I get depressed. I do.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I do get depressed, and I think I get more depressed,
like the day after Christmas. And I've always been this week,
especially as a kid, because it was like my family
went went all out for Christmas. It was like we
would have a halftime and so I gave my kids
that with you know who, and it was beautiful. But
now it's like now when you have to split that
(03:31):
the holidays just never feel the same after you get divorced.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Ever ever, you know, I with the person we have
in common, I just remember every single moment, whether it
was a dinner on a Tuesday or Christmas Day being
rushed like there was no magic to anything with him, so.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Like, get through the Christmas present as fast as possible.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, And I've never experienced a holiday in a relationship
with a child, you know, Ocean's always been split for everything, which.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Is good because she'll know the difference. Yeah, she'll or
she won't know the difference. She won't know the different difference.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
I don't know the difference, yeah, because I have nothing.
I mean I was around your kids on you know, Christmas,
even Christmas Day when you guys would have to do
the exchange. But it's it's so different when it's your
own child, obviously, and so I don't know, like this
is just my norm. Yeah, and it's hard to because
(04:34):
now So says getting to a really fun age and
Ocean is looking at her like, oh my gosh, this
is my friend. And now when I say like, hey,
you're going to your dad's house this weekend, she's like,
but my sister, I don't want to leave, and that
that's kind of like. I love that she wants to
(04:55):
go over to his house, because if she didn't, that
would be got wrenching for me.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Yeah, that's a whole nother yeah, ball game, but he
makes it very fun he does make it very fine,
very fun over there.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But I love that, Like, oh, Ocean is now looking
at so says like her little her little friend. So
I'm starting to get a little bit nervous about the
holiday approaching because I know Ocean's gonna want to he
with her sister.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I know, but you know what you just have to
I think the most important thing that you should do
is just acknowledge Ocean's feelings right totally. And I think
this is the age where I wish I would have
had all the all of the resources and books that
I have now that I've read or you know, friends
that have helped me along the way. Just acknowledge your feelings, like, yeah,
I understand how that could be really hard, Like you
(05:40):
have to identify the name of the feeling because she
doesn't know these yet. So don't dismiss it, like, oh,
you'll be fine. You know, we'll see you whenever you
come back, and we'll have our Christmas. It's like, oh,
tell me how, like that must feel really hard or
that must make you sad? Does that make you sad?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Totally? You know, Ocean's really good at pinpointing her emotions and.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
If she's anything like London.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Yes, yes she is. Do you think that like when
you see Ocean? I know she's only four and a half.
Do you see similarities in our kids? Oh yeah, oh.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah, I see a huge similarity between London and Ocean.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Okay, and what are those similarities?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Super talkative, like very verbal, like just says it how
it is. I call it diary of the mouth. You're
just like, oh my god, I cannot point. My fucking
child just said that. But it's cute, like she's you know,
I see the biggest now with Riley and Ocean, I haven't.
I feel like I haven't been around them enough together,
(06:41):
Like I see Riley's taking on such a mommy roll
when it comes to Ocean. But I think London and
Ocean are like even there. I mean, I've shown you
pictures side by side. It's freaking scary. It's like, oh
my god, it's so cute.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
But I think Ocean looks like you really, Yeah, I've
told you this before. It's so cute AND's sosa oh yeah,
like they both maybe they maybe they are, maybe they
both resemble you maybe in a previous life.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Maybe you know it's funny you posted something on I
think it was a a story and I actually saw
Ocean and Sosa for the first time.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Really, okay, can I tell you you are not the
first person to say that to me?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Really No, It's something that I posted recently, yere I
had people I.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Had to like stop it and go, oh my gosh,
she looks like Ocean a little bit.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Wow. I could be making this up in my head,
but I do feel like Ocean is starting to look
more like me. She obviously looks like him. I know
that he's participated in the making of Ocean, but I
feel like, okay, you like some of my DNA is. Yeah, yeah,
(07:56):
not just in the personality of her being a back.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I think her personality is more like you.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Oh yeah, okay, I'm going toes with I lied to you.
She's very much like me. However, she's a lot like him,
where she will verbally waterboard you until you're like, fine,
I don't give a fuck, leave me the fuck alone,
you know, like the fly that's oh.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
My god, relentless, relentless.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
It's exhausting. I will look at her. We were in
Hawaii and I was like, I don't want to go
toes with you today. Make mommy's life easy today. Yeah,
mommy's life is gonna be easy.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Are we gonna have a good day or bad day? Yeah?
She's like, I know, mom, but I just wanted to know.
And I'm like, I've said it five fucking times no,
and then you want to know what happens. I give
her what she wants because I'm like, I don't want
a battle. I just the beach. I know, I am.
Did you have fun in Hawaii at the best time? Yeah,
I'm exhausted.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Your ass looked a really good in some of those photos.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
By the way, I was like, damn, okay, a lot
of you do nothing popping it the right way? Are
you joking what? Everyone's like, Oh my god, you're bounce back.
I'm like, okay, yes, but at the same time, angles, yes,
angles and lighting, lighting, editing, you know, yeah, but you
(09:19):
don't need a lot of editing. I've seen your your
you've seen my naked body before. Yeah, I'm a naked lady.
I've seen your.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Naked body a lot, front, back, inside, all of it.
But we don't need to go there. That was like
six seven years ago.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Oh Amber, why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
I just I couldn't you open the door.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You opened the door literally, Yeah on the phone? What
are you talking? Oh my god, I want to throw up.
No one knows this story.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Oh really, well, then let's save it for later. Then,
you know what, I feel like this is a good
New Year's story.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
I feel like this is a good first episode of
an unlikely affair story. Yeah, how do you feel like
the person that we the reason for why you and
I know each other, is going to react.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Listen, I'm not doing this for anyone but us and
women out in the world and mothers out in the world.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
It's this is this is our thing. I agree with that,
and I don't need permission anymore in my life. I'm
arrived at a very different phase, and you know, a
lot has to do with just time and healing and
forgiveness and sobriety and removing and you know what, I'm
fucking I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I don't care. I love that you just said that,
because there were many moments that you and I would
talk and I feel like you would come from a
(10:54):
place of fear. Yeah, because I was.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I was, I had the hands around my you, Yeah,
in a big way, and I just I can't. I'm
not living my life anymore. Like you know, I'm I'm
a grown woman, you know, right, And I'm I'm just
I'm just at a different phase of my life. Like
I said before, It's like I'm talking from a place
of healing and compassion and experience and what you and
(11:21):
I went through. And still I'm still in the shit.
You know, I have an almost sixteen year old and
a twelve year old. I'm in a really tough spot
when it comes to co parenting teenage daughters.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Right, It's hard. Yeah, No, I can't. I can't imagine.
We spoke about this the last time I had you
on untraditionally La La. But I come to you because
you know your girls and the co parenting of it
all that is a window into my future, in Ocean's future,
and just being a mom going into teenage years, which
(11:56):
I'm gonna blink and that's going to happen. And it's
just a different world than when I grew up. And
there's city kids living in LA with phones and iPads
and Instagram and it freaks me out. And then you
take two households and in our situation, it being impossible
to co parent there's it's only parallel parenting because you
(12:20):
have no fucking idea what's going on over there. No
one is honest, no one is truthful.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
And there are more Well, that's because everybody that has
worked over there lives in.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Complete fear in hands around the neck. Yeah, I, for
the most part don't even know where the fuck my
child is.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, And I want our podcast. I want an Unlikely
Affair to be about you and me and our experiences.
That person is one just some the reason for why
you and I know each other.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, I mean, listen, this is gonna be such a
fun podcast.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
So much fun. And this person is a silhouette, like
he's nameless in all of it. This is this is
a way for women or even men to come and
talk about the challenges of co parenting, the upsides, what
it's like to go out and venture into sex. I mean, you, guys,
I hit up a twenty six year olds on Instagram.
I went in for a twenty three year old and
(13:20):
my mom was like, that is so fucking foul la
la oh my gosh. Yeah wow. Yeah. She was like,
I won't allow it.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Did you do a kissy face emoji?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Like I didn't even send it because I was I
got shamed.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Good, you know what, Thank you. I'm gonna call Lisa
today and be like, you know what, Lisa, good for you.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, twenty three is a little young. It is.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
It's funny.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
You go young and I go like, you go too
fucking old amber. They're like ready to be buried.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Wait, can I say something to you?
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I do hot to let saggy old man balls slap
against your ak. Okay, I will not allow it any longer.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Okay. I took your advice, and I would like to
declare something to declare it 'tis the season okay for
masturbation Monday?
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh oh so fun. It's so what is this about?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Remember last time you told me? Yeah, you shared your
like mid day find a day of the week, midday
and do your thing. And I started in Montana. I
started doing it. It's amazing. So I said, Okay, my
schedules a little nuts. So we're going to declare Monday
for masturbation Monday. And I want all the women in
the world between from like twelve and like pickup time
(14:37):
right like twelve and three, twelve and two depends on
how old your kids are, take care of yourself.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
You don't have to twist my arm. It was beautiful Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Stursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Like, where's laala? I no wonder when you're not replying
to any messages, I'm like, this chick is masturbating. Geez.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I love this idea. Yeah, And can I tell you
ocean sleepy in the bed is a little bit of
a buzzkill.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Oh, I can't get Riley out of my room.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
And that's why you have to have that window. And
just like a little toy, you women need it. Why
do you think Sony Morgan is so happy all the time.
She is freshly fucked at all times.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
You know what it's like making love to myself for
the first time.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I know. That's the way.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Like I put on music and I light a candle
and it's like a whole It's like a whole beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And I think about my own self.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah, I'm like, I love you, Amber, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I don't think about anybody else. I think about myself.
I'm like, yeah, that's the spot. And does it like
my little drawer full of toys?
Speaker 2 (15:48):
I know, I know, I just have one.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Oh, we gotta step it up. Yeah, yeah, do you
know how many? How many companies send me vibrators? And
my mom's like another one came and I'm looking at it.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Even went to your mom.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
I've given them, I've given them to her, and I'm like,
this is a fucking you hear Lisa, like Uki, if
I heard that, I would die. I would die.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
No, Amber, I know, I get it, I know, but
your mom is a she. She's got to do her
thing too great, lovely. I don't want to hear she's
probably at your house doing it right now.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
She should. I'm gone, Easton's gone, kids are gone. These
are the types of conversations we will be having on
an unlikely affair at all times. I want to mention
all of it.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I can't wait to dive in. I want to know
who you're sleeping with, but I want to know, like
what's going on because I feel like you just you,
You're I feel like I could learn a.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Lot from you. Yeah you do, I do. I do.
Like in terms of what I love talking about sex,
Oh my god, that's my same topic that I'm the
most excited about. But on top of that, feeling like
so says what fifteen months, and I still feel like
I'm coming out of like this postpartum journey. And I
(17:12):
know that I put on my Instagram that it takes
seven years from what I've read for a woman to
like fully heal and remember who she is in her
own identity. I'm still working on trying to figure out,
like who am I? Because I have out of body
experiences a lot, and I know that I'm not the
only one. Anytime I'm not with my kids, I feel
like I'm removed watching myself be a normal thirty five
(17:35):
year old woman, going, God, you're so fucking stupid. Shut up,
go home to like your babies and like lay in bed.
I feel like I my purpose is one thing and
one thing only right now, which is being at home
with my kids. And anytime I'm not doing that, I
have an out of body experience.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah there's a lot of guilt and shame. Yeah that
comes with being a mom, but you have to just
it's it's balance. And like people were like, oh, there's
no such thing as balance.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
If I fully believe that that is true, Like, like,
you're you're doing such a great job. You handle so
much like people don't realize behind the scenes of everything
else that they do, and they see you, like in
front of the TV screen what you handle well, thank
you and you're doing it.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Yeah, and that's all you can do.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
You just show up every day and listen. We like
we're in a program where it's a twenty four hour
day at a time. Like that's all you have in
front of you.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yeah. I love that, and I love you and I'm
so excited to do this with you.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
I love it too, sex and rock and roll.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
I love you, guys. Thank you for listening to another
episode of Untraditionally La La. I will catch you guys
next week, and remember an unlikely affair with Lalakhent and
Amber Childers is coming your way. Love y'all. Bye,
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