Episodes 9 and 10: "The Big Replay"

"The Big Replay" presents all of the vignettes back-to-back as one long audio movie.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Superstition and jealousy. Superstition and jealousy.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Okay, okay, do what you call him when you call me.
I'm on the international frequently.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Come here.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Tell me what you read, Tell you what you are.
It was a time when eating a clash Madison streaming tunes.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Any first time, any first kids, kid?

Speaker 4 (00:42):
Do you indeed think that either there is life on
other planets?

Speaker 5 (00:46):
This would be more effective at midnight and pounding winds
and crushing thunder, And even then it wouldn't frighten anyone.

Speaker 6 (00:53):
The flames clean my soul of evil of its.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Lust for blood. Five second, mister Argel.

Speaker 7 (01:11):
Welcome to Ian Punnett's Vaudeville for the Frightened, a fresh
mix of audio, art, music, interviews and fiction that will
have you wondering what is there to be afraid of?
Here's the Deacon of the Dark, Ian Punnett.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
You're listening to a special presentation of the fictional scenes
from the Bottom of the Box, edited end to end
without commentary or interviews. Bottom of the Box is the
first series from Ian Punnett's Vaudeville for the Frightened on
the iHeart podcasting network, and then the Memory of that

(02:05):
Night came to me in that dream again. It's night
before Thanksgiving nineteen years ago. Mal already had her doctorate
and had been offered a great new job, but I
was still working on mine. She's the genius, not me.

(02:26):
Mal and I were heading down on I seventy five
south to Tampa from Atlanta with our new baby, Alva,
named after my wife's grandmother. We called her Ave. It
had been a tough pregnancy. Avi was not short for Alva,
as some people thought, but rather the avocado, a funny

(02:50):
nickname that Mal and I started when she was a
few months a long and beginning to show. In those
early years before or the bills began to pile up.
Finding the avocado was our cheap entertainment. Mal would lie

(03:11):
on her back and I would rub her stomach, looking
for the avocado size bump that was beginning to protrude
onths later, when Alva was born premature, she was so
small and slightly greenish that our little joke, well, it

(03:32):
just wasn't funny for a while. I swear there was
a moment when both of us wondered whether all that
joking about the avocado had resulted in Alva developing avocado
like characteristics. Seriously superstitious, I know, especially for two egghead academics.
But turns out the baby was born with a slightly

(03:53):
perforated intestine and needed emergency neonatal care, which meant even
more money. After that, I think calling the baby the
avocado again became our way of affirming that everything was
all right, our way of dealing with the trauma we
went through. But that's just us, that's just how we

(04:15):
did things. Inside. Jokes are our love language. We often
talk in a kind of code that we developed over
the years, just so we could crack each other up
at inappropriate places. When mal was pregnant, I used to
draw the adventures of Avi the Avocado and her little

(04:35):
brother Roly Guacamole on her stomach with a sharpie before
going to sleep, almost losing her. Though. We decided one
kid was enough and I got of a sectomy almost
right away. We actually mourned the loss of having another child,
but only because the thought of putting Roly Guacamole on

(04:58):
a birth certificate been just so awesome. Anyway, The memory
that haunts my dreams started just after Avi was born
and everything changed. I really wasn't prepared to be a dad,
yet anyway I was. I was afraid that I wouldn't

(05:19):
measure up as a husband or a father. I would
look at Mal and Avi and smile, but inwardly I
was panicking or feeling so detached that I just wanted
to move to the Yukon and start life all over again.
Ten percent of all new fathers experienced postpartum depression, and

(05:43):
I was the one I just wanted out. Mel's parents
had bought a life insurance for us as a baby present,
which meant both of us who were now worth more
dead than alive. I don't know who this guy was
I was looking at in the mirror. I just knew

(06:04):
it wasn't me, And although I wasn't feeling it, I
knew intellectually that a good dad would keep his wife
and daughter safe. I could barely sleep for fear that
people would know my secret about how detached I was

(06:27):
with what was going on around me. I was obsessed
with appearances. Along with a gift of money from my parents,
we threw every penny, including our first house fund, into
a small old Volvo station wagon. Because I was still
finishing school, which was a drag in our finances and

(06:48):
Mel's pregnancy, which kept her from being able to start
earning money, and all the bills about the surgery. I
don't know. I felt like a self pitying victim if
I didn't get my PhD, I didn't know what I
was going to do, and my dissertation wasn't coming together yet.
It was just all piling up on me so much

(07:12):
that we decided I really needed to see family, show
off the baby get a great meal. So we loaded
up this little station wagon with luggage, portable cribs, toys,
play rugs, a bassinet, a state of the art stroller,

(07:33):
and a car seat that looked like something that a
pilot ejected in from an F sixteen. We didn't have
any money for a hotel for the eight hour trip
to Tampa from Atlanta, so we just decided to take
turns driving. Because of all the luggage and the baby stuff,

(07:55):
there were only two places to sit, the driver's seat
and a small bed area and back that Mal had
made out of blankets and coats behind the back seat
in the station wagon. This way one of us could
tend to AVVI and catch some winks while the other
one drove. We got in a late start, and I'd
been up early working on my dissertation, so I only

(08:17):
lasted a few hours before I had to pull over
and let Mal drive for a while. We had promised
my folks that we would be there for breakfast, so
we had to hustle. The only place I picked to
switch our seating position seemed perfect at the time. Just

(08:37):
north of Valdosta, there's a turnoff on the highway with
a lighted area used to have a gas station, not anymore.
As I drove into that gravel and broken concrete, I
could see the remnants of some cement forms where the
gas pumps used to be, the remaining street lights just

(09:01):
above a pole that appeared to have once held a
Texaco sign. The whole area was surrounded by wild bushes
covered by kudzu. I took one more look around to
make sure we were alone. That opened to the driver's
side door stepped out and stretched. Because of the way

(09:22):
we had packed the car with Avi's car seat in
the middle and stuff on either side to leave space
for a tight sleeping area behind the back seat, and
our new station wagon, Mal could not even open her
door from the inside. I had to open her door
quietly so we didn't wake the avocado, and Mal started

(09:43):
the ginger process of climbing out over her makeshift sleeping
berth and stepping over Avi's over large car seat and
sliding out the side door while I steadied her with
my hand. Since we had enough gas to make it
to a formal rest stop further down, I seventy five,
and neither of us needed to use the bathroom. I

(10:05):
handed Mal the keys, stepped over Avi's car seat in
a forward arching position and sort of flopped quietly into
the tight coffin squeezed bedspace, and squirmed around to get comfortable.
Mal shut my door very slowly, essentially entombing the baby

(10:29):
and me for another leg of the trip. But then
nothing happened. I was expecting to hear the sound of
the car driver's side door shut and then start, and
then for us to be on our way, but there
was nothing. The car dome light was on, so I
knew her door was still open, so I sat up

(10:50):
the best I could in that cramp space, and I
crooked my head over my left shoulder so I could
see where she was. And there was Mal five or
six feet away from the vulva and walking toward a
man in baggy clothes with a bloody nose, which was
visible under that old street light. I have no idea

(11:11):
where this guy came from. It was like it was
like he fell out of the sky or was hiding
in the kudzu. I didn't even see another car yet
he seemed to be mumbling for whatever temporary insanity had
overcome Mallet two in the morning, at an abandoned, desolate
gas station with a new baby in the back seat.
She was cupping her hand around her left ear, leaning

(11:34):
forward as she's walking toward the guy who is bleeding
profusely down his face and all over his shirt. Get
in the car, I said to myself. I would have
said it out loud, but I didn't want to attract
attention to the baby in me, and I couldn't even
have gotten out of the car if something had gone south.

(11:57):
Mal get in the car, I whispered louder out her door,
almost like a prayer. Mal was within like I don't know,
like six feet of this guy. When she turned around
and started walking back toward the car. That's when I

(12:18):
finally understood what was happening. Now that she was walking
back towards me. I could hear her through the open
car door say, well, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
If I have a Kleenex, but I might have a
wet ones.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
I was incredulous and I was trapped. Mal, get in
the car, I said louder, and she kept muttering about
wet ones.

Speaker 2 (12:43):
Maybe I've got a Kleenex or some napkins, but I
definitely have a wet ones in the door here.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
Okay, listen, uh Mal, get in the car, Get in
the car, I repeated louder. With every step she took
closer to the get in the car. And that's when
I noticed the man in the baggy clothes, in the
bloody nose was beginning to make his move, whatever that

(13:12):
was gonna be. As he stepped more into the light,
I got a great look at his face, and there
was something definitely wrong with the way that he was
looking at her. With Mal's back to him, he slowly

(13:33):
started to walk toward her, and this time Mal heard me,
get in the car. What what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Get in the car.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
And at that moment I broke whatever hypnotic spell she
was under. Mao looked back at me and.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Said, uh, yeah, sure, okay, but.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
It was too late, because I was so focused on
keeping Mau, closing her door, starting the car, and driving
us out of there. I didn't see that that monster
had pulled out a gun. I didn't see him pointed
at Mal. I just suddenly heard the gun go off

(14:20):
and watched the interior of the station wagon go crimson,
with blood spraying everywhere, just as mouth slumped over the
center console. As Aviy woke up screaming crying, the man
in the baggy clothes and the bloody nose pivoted and

(14:42):
locked eyes on me. As I yelled, no, no, please,
She's just a baby, Mal, God no, And then the
killer looked at me while I begged, turned.

Speaker 8 (15:03):
And walked away.

Speaker 2 (15:15):
Wake up, Mark, you're having a nightmare again. That's the
tenth time this semester. We're fine. I'm right here.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Oh God, it's just so real. It's just how I
remember it. I can still see his face and how
he looked at me, kind of confused.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Sh except we didn't die, Mark, You saved us, You
saved me, You saved Avi. You didn't die. You kept
helling get in the car until I came to my senses.
I closed the door, turned on the ignition started, the
car floored it and we got out of there.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
I was just so powerless. It was moving so fast.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Sh You weren't powerless. You played it just right. The
baby was never in danger. I don't know what came
over me that night. I think I just felt sorry
for the guy. But you kept your cool and you
saved us. Please stop torturing yourself for something that didn't happen. Okay,
what time is it, Alexa? What time is it?

Speaker 9 (16:25):
It is two thirty.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Eight day m Can you get back to sleep? I
need to get back to sleep.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
And the Avocado's okay. You swear to me, You swear
to me you're not dead.

Speaker 2 (16:38):
Mark, sweetie. If I were dead, I wouldn't need to
go back to sleep, and either would you. Obvious is
away at school. Everything is fine, good night.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
I'm just so afraid of having that dream again.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
I can seeing Octopus's garden to you if that will help.
That usually helps.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Maybe later. If I can't get back to sleep.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Then just keep telling yourself. My wife thinks I'm a hero.
My wife thinks I'm a hero.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
My wife thinks I'm a hero. My wife thinks I'm
a hero. Mmmmmm mm hmmm.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
What now.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
I'm really sorry I woke you, Fred.

Speaker 8 (17:46):
What's going on?

Speaker 5 (17:47):
Yeah, good morning, doctor Sturgis.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
It's not sorry for the early hour.

Speaker 5 (17:52):
This is Detective Brodie from town.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Can we come in and ask you a few questions?

Speaker 8 (17:58):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (17:59):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (18:00):
But why all the doctor formalities all of a suddenit
mait's something wrong with Avi.

Speaker 5 (18:06):
No, no, no, I'm sure Obvy's fine, Doctor Sturgis.

Speaker 2 (18:09):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (18:09):
Detective Brody just has some questions.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Okay, does this have something to do with the university?

Speaker 9 (18:18):
Do you mind if we record this?

Speaker 1 (18:21):
What I mean? Sure, as long as you tell me
what this is about.

Speaker 9 (18:26):
This is a recorded interview with doctor Mark Sturgis on
September twenty second, at six fifty two am. Doctor Sturgis
has not been mirandized. Doctor Sturgis, where were you last
night at two thirty am?

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa slow down. I just woke up.
I was sleeping next to my wife. Why do you.

Speaker 5 (18:47):
Ask, doctor Mallory Sturgis? She she's a professor of criminology
on campus two.

Speaker 9 (18:52):
Doctor Sturgis's on the same campus. This is going to
get confusing. Is your wife a light sleeper? Doctor Surgis
can and she confirmed you were here all night?

Speaker 2 (19:03):
She can, and I am mark Is the heavy sleeper.
Good morning, Fred, coffee.

Speaker 5 (19:08):
Good morning, doctor Sturgis.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
Don't go to any trouble for me.

Speaker 2 (19:14):
Oh, doctor Sturgis, all of a sudden, no trouble. I'm
making a pop for myself, Sergeant Luteger because I woke
up to a loud cop show in my living room.

Speaker 5 (19:23):
Apparently, well, Dr Sturgis, this is Detective Brody with Metro.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
She has some questions.

Speaker 2 (19:30):
Would you like some coffee too, Detective Brody.

Speaker 9 (19:33):
Doctor Sturgis, how can you be so sure that doctor
Sturgis was sleeping next to you last night? See that?
To doctor Sturgis, this thing is very confusing.

Speaker 2 (19:43):
Because he woke up around two thirty this morning screaming
that was only four hours ago. I remember it like
it was just, you know, only four hours ago. How
about that.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
I have a recurring nightmare about what It's rather personal.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
He keeps dreaming I get shot in the head.

Speaker 9 (20:03):
I'll have some coffee too, thank you. Black is fine. So,
doctor Sturgis, how often do you dream of killing your
wife every day?

Speaker 1 (20:13):
That would be an unfair characterization. It is a recurring nightmare.
I can barely get to sleep some nights for fear
of it coming back. It seems so real. I love
my wife. I would never dream of hurting. Well, okay,
and you know what I mean.

Speaker 9 (20:31):
You once reported that a hunting rifle in your possession
had been stolen. Did you recover it and do you
still own a rifle?

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yes, it was stolen out of my cabin on Box
Turtle Lake, along with some other items, and no, I
never recovered it.

Speaker 9 (20:47):
I love the Box Turtle Lake area. It's gorgeous up there.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
I was raised on a farm, but I'm a converted
city girl now. To me, rustic just means a lot
of work.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
I have not owned a rifle since, Detective Brody. It's
just too easy a rifle in animals. It just wasn't sporting.

Speaker 9 (21:05):
But you still kill people in your dreams.

Speaker 2 (21:07):
People are animals, especially in faculty meetings on a college campus.
He's not the killer in the nightmare, Detective, trust me.
He's the most loved professor on campus. No matter what
I do, no matter how long I've been here, I
mostly thought of as Mark Sturgis's wife.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
That's not fair, But Detective, I've tried to be cooperative,
but this is not started well and we're just not
getting anywhere. So here's how the rest of this is
going to go. Either you tell me everything that is
going on as your recorder runs, or I'll call a
lawyer and I'm pretty sure that he or she will

(21:45):
tell me that I shouldn't say another word.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Here's your coffee? Should I put on another pot?

Speaker 9 (21:52):
Who is Mary K?

Speaker 1 (21:53):
Campbell one of my grad assistants? And you did not
answer my question?

Speaker 9 (22:01):
Thank you, doctor stir Just this is great coffee.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
I'm still waiting for an answer.

Speaker 9 (22:05):
Detective Brody, how would you describe your relationship with Mary
kay Campbell?

Speaker 1 (22:11):
Professional? Encouraging, a vuncular, beneficial to the department. But watch me,
here's me getting up to find.

Speaker 9 (22:23):
My phone orderline.

Speaker 1 (22:25):
Romantic, not even close, and I think we're done here?

Speaker 9 (22:30):
Did you want it to be romantic?

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Mal? Can you have me in my phone? What was
the name of the lawyer that helped us close your
mother's estate?

Speaker 6 (22:37):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Wilson? Do you need the number? No?

Speaker 1 (22:39):
I saved it under contacts. I just couldn't remember her name.
Thank you.

Speaker 9 (22:43):
Okay, here's the story. The campus is closed until further notice.
Mary Kay Campbell was shot last night, probably by an
AR fifteen, while she was sitting at your desk in
Francis Hall. Nobody heard anything except the window glass shattering.
Bullet appeared to have come from the woods behind your
building on Metro property. It smashed through the window, then

(23:06):
sliced through your high back leather office chair and ripped
through her body. We found the round lodged in one
of the boxes on the floor and we'll be rushing
that through the crime lab today for preliminary results. She
was dead before her head hit the desk. The email
she had just started on her laptop was to you.

(23:27):
She only got as far as dear mark. She had
struck I on the keyboard when she was killed.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Is that all that was in the email? Sorry, that's
the criminologist in me.

Speaker 9 (23:37):
I don't know the answer to that.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Did Do you think she knew who her killer was?

Speaker 9 (23:42):
Too early to tell? I guess we could interrogate the
gray matter that we pulled out of the bottom of
the boxes in front of your desk. Maybe it knows something.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Has anybody called her parents? I think I should be
the one.

Speaker 8 (23:54):
To do that.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Do you have any idea who could have done this.
Wouldn't it have been some yokel poaching deer with a
flashlight in the wood. It's behind campus.

Speaker 9 (24:01):
We don't think it was random because it was a
perfect sniper shot and nobody heard the gun go off.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
So other than the name and the email and she
was sitting at my desk, what does any of this
have to do with me?

Speaker 5 (24:14):
Yeah, well, we got an anonymous call this morning at
campus security. This tipster suggested that, well, that you might
have been involved.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's absurd, Fred, Mary Kay was a great kid. We
never had any conflicts between.

Speaker 9 (24:29):
Us romantically involved. The tipster implied that it was well
known on campus the two of you were having an affair.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Okay, that is ridiculous. I'm happily married. Everybody knows that
I'm a respected member of the campus community.

Speaker 9 (24:46):
That's a non denial denial.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Okay, to be clear, then I completely deny the insinuation.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
Mark.

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Okay, look, I have no idea what they're talking about.

Speaker 9 (24:58):
You know that, really, then, it's just a coincidence that
at the exact time last night you were dreaming of
your wife being shot in the head. Your girlfriend actually was.

Speaker 1 (25:10):
Okay, girlfriend, you're bastard. This interview is officially over. Get
out of my house.

Speaker 9 (25:19):
We'll leave, but you should know that you're giving off
this very weird, defensive guilty vibe.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
You do not know me well enough to make that judgment.
Now get out before you do give me something to
feel guilty about.

Speaker 9 (25:33):
Another non denial denial.

Speaker 8 (25:35):
Just between us?

Speaker 6 (25:36):
What's he supposed to say?

Speaker 1 (26:35):
You're listening to a special presentation of the fictional scenes
from the Bottom of the Box, edited end to end,
without commentary or interviews. Bottom of the Box is the
first series from Ian Punnett's Vaudeville for the Frightened on
the iHeart podcasting network.

Speaker 7 (27:19):
Ian Punnett's Vaudeville for the Frightened Use Your Ears to
Fight Your Fears, Series one the Bottom of the Box.

Speaker 9 (27:32):
This is the second recorded interview with doctor Mark Sturgis
on the evening of September twenty second, at eight pm.
Doctor Sturgis has not been mirandized as a courtesy, while
jurisdiction for the investigation is still under negotiation. Sergeant Fred
Ludeger from Campus Police is present, as is doctor mal Sturgis,

(27:53):
doctor Sturgis wife of twenty one years plus his attorney,
Chloe Wilson, who is here as an advisor. The campus
is closed for investigation until after the memorial service from
Mary Kay Campbell on Thursday, so this interview is being
conducted at the Metro Station Interview Room number three.

Speaker 4 (28:12):
Please let the record show that my client is here voluntarily.
He's free to go at any time without his leaving
being considered a reflection of guild. He has not been
mirandized because he is not a suspect or a person
of interest for the purposes of this interview. He is
a concerned citizen and a potential witness before the fact
who's agreed to this interview to clear up any confusion.

(28:35):
From six forty five am this morning, he was going
to go to his box ser Lake cabin and relax,
but stayed in town to help. Furthermore, contrary to what
we were promised two hours ago when we agreed to
voluntarily come in for another interview, neither Sergeant Luteger or
Detective Brodie have produced a tape, recording, a transcript, or

(28:56):
any proof of this alleged tip to campus security suggesting
that doctor Surgis was romantically involved with the victim, Mary K.
Campbell until such time as we see any evidence that
this anonymous, erroneous claim was actually made, we will refrain
from discussing it. Detective Brody, do you have anything to add.

Speaker 9 (29:18):
Pursuant to our agreement? I would like to apologize for
my overly aggressive tone this morning and for causing any
temporary emotional conflict between doctor Sturgis and the other Doctor Sturgis.
Preliminary ballistics reports confirmed that the bullet that killed Mary
Kay Campbell could not have been fired by Mark Sturgis

(29:38):
missing rifle. It was from an AR fifteen.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
I'm over it.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
I'm not.

Speaker 9 (29:44):
Let's move on, doctor Mark Sturgis. You have a statement
you would like to read, I do proceed.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
The nightmare that woke me up at two thirty this
morning is a variation of a memory I'd rather forget.
Daughter Avey was just a baby, and we're not telling
her about any of this for now. By the way,
we were driving down from Atlanta to see my folks
in Tampa for Thanksgiving. Mal had made a bed in

(30:15):
the back of our new station Wagon, just behind the
back seat so we could switch off driving and sleeping.
It was a difficult space to get in and out
of without help, and we had pulled off the highway
and we had switched places at an abandoned gas station.
Just before Mal was starting to drive away, a guy

(30:36):
with a bloody nose appeared out of nowhere, mumbling about
a cleanex or something, and she started walking closer to
him so that she could hear in the dark, and
I am trapped. After she turned around and started walking
back to the car to get a cleanex or whatever

(30:58):
for this guy. I started saying to her, in a
non panic tone, flatly, get.

Speaker 2 (31:05):
In the car.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
Get in the car. Then the guy with the bloody
face starts following her back to her open driver's side door,
so I started saying it louder and more urgently, get
in the car. That's when the headlights of a car
neither of us had noticed before but apparently had been

(31:28):
there the whole time, came on and started to roll
slowly behind the bloody guy's face. At the last second,
she heard me much more passionately saying get in the car,
and it was like a spell was broken. Mal jumped
into the car and started driving. We turned back onto

(31:50):
the interstate and we were gone safely toward Tampa. But
this is the nightmare part in my dream, Detective Brody
mal is shot dead in the front seat, and the
guy with the bloody nose turns toward me just before
I wake up. My recurring nightmare is centered and how

(32:13):
badly it could have gone, and how powerless I would
have been to stop it. Not a celebration of being
single again. Your comment that ended our interview, Detective Brodie
was just so ugly and hurtful. Now, I can handle that,

(32:35):
But you were in my house, using my friendship with
Fred to see what would happen if you drove a
wedge between me and my wife and Fred. That was
irresponsible and ambitious of you, at the potential expense of
my marriage and my standing on this campus.

Speaker 5 (32:57):
Well, that wasn't my intent, Mark. I was just trying
to get you cleared as fast as possible. That's why
I brought Detective Brody over.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
I'm over it.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
I'm still not, but let's move on.

Speaker 9 (33:12):
Can you verify that story?

Speaker 1 (33:14):
I called the GBI, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation, but
they laughed it off. Actually, the agent I spoke with joked, well,
this story is nothing to sneeze at. We'll get right
on the case of the Kleenex killer and then he
hung up on me, and no, I cannot verify that happened.

Speaker 4 (33:35):
Now it would be a good time for you to
tell us more about this so called anonymous tip.

Speaker 9 (33:40):
Campus police do not record incoming calls to the office,
only nine to one one, but the third shift officer
who took the call, Officer Goodwin, which had been bounced
to his cell phone, wrote down the tip verbatim. The
caller was female, neutral accent, sounded educated and middle aged.
He wrote in a notes this is what she said. You

(34:03):
need to know that the director of the writing program
has been sleeping with or trying to sleep with, all
of his female grad students. You need to start looking
into that.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
Uh huh. What I heard is that at no point
is my client's name mentioned in the recording, nor is
the name of Mary Kay Campbell.

Speaker 9 (34:21):
I believe the tipster was very clear that the subject
of the call was the dean of the writing program.
That would be doctor Sturgis.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
But I'm not I'm the acting dean of the writing program.
I'm just pro tem as a favor to the department.

Speaker 2 (34:38):
Mark is being humble. He's a lock on becoming a
dean on this campus. Everybody loves him, and the university
is too broke to conduct a nationwide search these days,
so they'll be filling his position from within. You sound a.

Speaker 9 (34:50):
Little jealous of doctor Sturgis.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
Doctor Sturgis, I mean, who wouldn't be. He's doctor popular
and he's the luckiest guy on the planet. If there's
a raffle or a drawing for anything, chances are you're
gonna hear his name being announced as the winner.

Speaker 1 (35:04):
That's kind of a compulsion. I can't pass a drawing
box without entering it.

Speaker 4 (35:09):
My client gets one hundred emails a week from all
his grad students, male and female. There's nothing incriminating about
that email. It just says dear Mark and then I.
It doesn't say my dearest Mark or my darling Mark.
Just a typical professional format that is completely unrelated.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
All I can tell you is that you can search
all my messages from Mary Kay Campbell. I have nothing
to hide.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
Sergeant Ludeger, can you walk us through the receipt of
this message?

Speaker 5 (35:41):
Just for the record, Uh yeah, I see, it's see okay.
At six o seven on September twenty second, while standing
guard outside the main entrance to Francis Hall, as Metro
Police process the crime scene in doctor Sturgis's office, a
campus security office call was forwarded to Officer Goodman's cell phone,

(36:03):
purportedly about a sexual relationship between doctor Sturgis and the victim.
The tipster dictated a message to Officer Goodman, but the
caller sounded fuzzy, as Officer Goodwin described, and then hung up.
The call lasted under a minute. Officer Goodman notified me
of the tip. I then shared that with Detective Brody

(36:25):
because it was relevant and I mean, Mark and I
are friends. I didn't want the appearance of impropriety based
on that information. While the crime scene was still being processed,
Detective Brody asked me to take her to doctor Sturgis's
house and asked Cam about the tip. I get an
impression of a well of a potential suspect.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
I'm adding, for the benefit of the recording, alleged sexual relationship,
and that again, Doctor Sturgis was not mentioned by name
in that accusation, so noted Detective Brody, what proof do
you have that this call happened? As Sar Lteger described.

Speaker 9 (37:01):
It, are you accusing one of Sergeant Lutterger's campus police officers?
Of making up a lie.

Speaker 4 (37:07):
Just asking did you check the call logs and all
the time codes that verify how and when a call
was received.

Speaker 9 (37:14):
I can do that tomorrow and get back to you.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
I'll be fine.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
At the risk of sounding gruesome, Mary sees some of
the crime scene photos. I don't want to look at
anything too bloody of poor Mary Kay, who was a
very nice, very smart girl in my opinion. But I
just want to see what the interior of the office
looked like.

Speaker 5 (37:32):
Uh, Detective, I believe that's your call.

Speaker 9 (37:38):
These are from across the room, and this is all
I'm willing to show you.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
That's Mark's office. Mark. Isn't that your old high back
office chair?

Speaker 1 (37:49):
Please look, Yeah, that's my old chair, But that's not.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
My And isn't that your old faded Atlanta Braves baseball
cap the victim is wearing with her ponytail sticking out.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
Uh huh, appears to be.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
I'm your wife, and I'm asking you to be honest.
Did you give Mary Kay your old Braves hat as
a present?

Speaker 1 (38:06):
No? I did not. Last time I saw it, it
was hanging off the shelf in my office. But that's
not Mark.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
I'm going to stop you right there, because I've heard
enough and I'm gonna step out for a while.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
I didn't give it to her.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Oh I know, I'm just gonna be gone for a bit.
How long?

Speaker 4 (38:23):
Where are you going?

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Fred? If you can call ahead and ask your people
to let me in the building, I'll take a few
snaps with my cell phone there and just one quick
photo of Mark's office from the hallway. Should take about
twenty minutes. Tops, Chloe, I don't mean to tell you
your business, but I would end this interview until you
hear from me.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Where are you going? Why are you leaving?

Speaker 2 (38:44):
Well, the way I figure it, somebody has to prove
your innocence once and for all, sweetie, or the cops
will never find Mary Kay's real killer. Look for my text.

Speaker 4 (38:56):
I wonder what you thought we missed so people, I
guess it's my turn to declare this meeting officially over
Keep your phones on.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
You're listening to a special presentation of the fictional scenes
from the Bottom of the Box, edited end to end
without commentary or interviews. Bottom of the Box is the
first series from Ian Punnett's Vaudeville for the Frightened on
the iHeart podcasting network.

Speaker 7 (40:16):
Ian Pummet's Fool for the Frightened, Use Your Ears to
Fight Your Fears Series one, The Bottom of the Bucks.

Speaker 9 (40:27):
Mark Coffee hun Yes, thank you, no more for.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
Me, Thanks, keep it coming.

Speaker 1 (40:32):
I'm fine.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Yeah, you guys seem like the Starbucks foo frough coffee types.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
Geez. No reason to get personal, hey.

Speaker 6 (40:39):
Just guilty until proven innocent here.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
Mmm.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
Yeah, there's a lot of that going around here.

Speaker 9 (40:46):
Okay, all right, I already apologized you were right, But
how could you tell we were.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
On the wrong trail because she's the smartest one in
the room.

Speaker 2 (40:56):
And because it was so obvious. Before I go any further,
I noticed you turn on your tape record again. What's
up with that?

Speaker 9 (41:03):
Sorry? This is the third recorded interview with doctor Mark
Sturgis on the morning of September twenty fourth, at seven
thirty five am. Doctor Sturgis has not been mirandized. He
is a voluntary cooperating witness. I will restate for the
record that doctor Sturgis is not a suspect or a
person of interest. This is now a joint investigation between

(41:25):
Metro and Campus Police with Sergeant Fred Ludeger, who is present,
as is doctor mal Sturgis, with our assurances that we
have closed the file on doctor Sturgis. His attorney did
not feel the need to be here.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
You were saying, malth thank you just wanted to be clear.
When I saw the crime scene photos, I noticed many irregularities.
Poor Mary Kay was not killed in Mark's current office.
This is Mark's old one, the trademark backwards Braves baseball cap.
She was wearing the high back office chair that obscures
most of the person who's sitting in it the late

(42:00):
if they didn't know, nobody could tell that was Mary Kay.
And then there was the matter of the message, which
admittedly even fooled me as Mark's wife when you first
came into the house. Also, if I may speak bluntly,
there was just one shot fired. One shot one kill
is not easy. Like I said, I grew up on
a farm. Mark would take ten shots to hit a

(42:21):
target from that distance.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Okay, be fair. Five.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
I've seen you shoot, sweetie. There's a reason why you
never killed one deer, and you were relieved when your
rifle was stolen. So unless you've been practicing somewhere Wade,
have you are you buying ar fifteens from weekend gun shows?
So you don't have to show up in the database. Mark,
should Detective Brody show your photo around the gun shows?
Are you practicing at the box turtle cabin?

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Okay? If I was, why would I admit that here?
We haven't checked the gun shows yet.

Speaker 5 (42:49):
But there are the same group of guys out of
the Country Fairgrounds about every three weeks.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
All I needed to check was whether Mark's office was
still listed at Room one o eight on the building
direct in the lobby. Then I knew Mark was likely
the intended victim, not Mary Kay. If the killer knew
that Mark had been asked to be the interim dean
and he had moved to his new temporary office of
Room one point fifteen at the other end of the hallway,

(43:15):
mary Kay would still be alive.

Speaker 8 (43:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (43:18):
I should have caught that office move because I'm not
on patrol anymore, and you still had so much your
stuff in your old office. I forgot the school moved
you into Dean Kale's office while.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
He's on leave.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
And you should have noticed by the blood spatter on
the closed office door and the boxes in front of
Mark's old desk where Mary Kay died. Because of the
university's policy about men never being behind closed doors with anybody.
Mark used those boxes to prop open his door whenever
he was in the building. But a young woman like
Mary Kay, perhaps a little spooked by the quietness of

(43:51):
Francis Hall at night, probably moved those boxes over to
in front of the desk and locked the door for
peace of mind. Or maybe you saw somebody out there
walking around the building and got spooked. Have you looked
at the security footage, Fred, Sure we did.

Speaker 5 (44:07):
We went back to look for anybody who didn't belong there.
We didn't find anything. A shot came from too far away.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Fred. Did you go back to the call log and
determine exactly when the message was forwarded to Officer Goodman?

Speaker 1 (44:19):
Yeah, this is a little embarrassing, all right.

Speaker 5 (44:22):
It seems that the message was sent last week, an
Officer Goodman forgot about it until he was maintaining the
security perimeter at the scene when Mary Kay Campbell's body
was found. Now, to cover that up, he called into
the office voicemail and pretended he had just received the
call on his phone, then deleted the message and pretended

(44:43):
that the person was dictating it. Obviously this should never
have happened. I mean, a total confidence there will be
some kind of disciplinary hearing on this, If that's any consolation, M.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
No, not much. But in all fairness, the school has
been pretty tight lit about the accusations concerning Dean Kale.

Speaker 9 (45:04):
What can you tell me about Dean Kale and why
would it be relevant to this investigation?

Speaker 1 (45:10):
It just rumors at this point, just rumors.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
But rumors are all it takes these days to end
a career. There used to be due process when a
professor was accused of something. Now allegations are as good
as the truth.

Speaker 9 (45:24):
Okay, but according to the rumors, what did Dean Kale
actually do?

Speaker 1 (45:29):
As far as I know, not much. The game these days,
it seems on some college campuses, is just to dirty
somebody up, not canceled, as you know the expression goes,
but sidelined. Dean Kale has been with this department for
forty years, the last fourteen as dean. He was a

(45:52):
widower and a mentor to many of us like me
for decades. He was loved, But last year he made
a joke in class that at his age, getting woke
in the morning is the hardest part of his day.
One student was offended by that and said, as an

(46:15):
older white male. He should never make fun of wokeness.
Dean Kale apologized and tried to explain that he was
only joking about dying in his sleep at his age,
but that just made it.

Speaker 9 (46:28):
Worse, obviously, But what's the problem.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
This year, the university sent out a memo suggesting that
every professor acknowledge that the school was built on land
once owned by indigenous peoples by voluntarily putting a statement
on every syllabus.

Speaker 9 (46:50):
Well, this is news to me. What does that mean.

Speaker 1 (46:54):
It means that every time you start a class you
express something to the effect of the campus wishes to
acknowledge and honor the Indigenous communities who lived and had
stewardship of this land and are still its rightful owners.
But Dean Kale didn't follow the consensus on that because

(47:17):
a it was a suggestion and not a requirement, and
b since he's a neo Marxist he doesn't believe in
any property rights. He's always been very consistent about that.
He was quite polite at the department meetings. But as
soon as his first class started the semester and that

(47:38):
supposedly voluntary statement wasn't on his syllabus. That's when the
whisper campaign started, there were some suggestions from the top
that unless he forced himself to make his voluntary statement,
maybe it was time for him to retire. But Dean
Kale told the school that since his wife died, running

(48:01):
this department was all he had to live for, and
he was told by the administration then to take some
time off and think about it, you know, for the
good of the school. And that's when I stepped in
a few weeks.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
Ago, for the good of the school that he devoted
his life to.

Speaker 9 (48:19):
That's kind of sad, But why the message about him
having an affair.

Speaker 1 (48:23):
With a student in today's climate. Unfortunately, who knows. Maybe
a student or a colleague didn't think Dean Kale wasn't
leaving fast enough and decided to nudge the process along.
Like I said, it's no longer about due process so much.
It's about dirtying somebody up to get what you want,

(48:44):
or at least to stop them from getting what they want.
It's almost an unofficial sport on some college campuses these days.
I know a guy who got his PhD from an
international university. Now on the side for money. He was
writing speculative science books, kind of funny, really edgy stuff.

(49:08):
And in one of his books he played with a
theory that he had been working on since he was
a kid that blood sucking insects from the age of
the Dinosaurs that had landed on tree sap which had
then turned into amber, could contain dino DNA, which could
then be used to bring back extinct species. It was

(49:32):
a goofy, principle based science book that his publisher just loved,
not his thesis, nothing to do with what he was
doing at the university. Then a powerful prestigious professor from
another school in another country entirely read about it and
thought the idea was so preposterous, so stupid, that he

(49:55):
used all of his own personal leverage and so called
gravit TOAs to get the school to rescind the PhD
that it had just granted to this guy, pretend that
it never happened, and then to discredit him. Hey wait
a minute, I've heard of that. Isn't that the basis
for Jurassic Park? It is, yep, and that's the true

(50:19):
story of the guy who developed the Jurassic Park recipe.
He was the victim of a powerful gatekeeper in his
field who decided he was nuts. And here's the kicker.
That prestigious professor thought about it, talked about it among
his friends, and then decided to write his own articles

(50:39):
based on that same theory that he stole from the
young guy that he just discredited. When Michael Creton read
those articles, then he wrote the novel Jurassic Park.

Speaker 9 (50:51):
Well, pardon me for saying this, but that would be
something worth shooting somebody over.

Speaker 5 (50:56):
Okay, but how does that get us any closer to
no one who killed Mary Kay Campbell.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
It's just an illustration of how ruthless some academics can
be to get ahead.

Speaker 9 (51:07):
Or maybe it was intended to make campus security dirty
you up, Doctor Sturgis from someone you might not expect.
But let me approach this from a different perspective. If
it's true that the shooter in the woods had looked
up the wrong office number, mis took your braves cap
for you, and then killed Mary Kay Campbell, who would

(51:27):
hate you enough to go through all that trouble to
see you dead? Any students, former colleagues, Has anybody threatened you?

Speaker 6 (51:36):
Nah?

Speaker 2 (51:37):
They all love him. He's a soft grader, most popular
professor on campus.

Speaker 8 (51:41):
Ouch.

Speaker 2 (51:42):
I've been trying to be the head of my department
for twenty years. And Mark has made acting dean at
the first opportunity the university gets and he doesn't even
want the promotion, and he gets it. He says all
the right things to all the right people. It's true, Fred,
back me up.

Speaker 5 (51:58):
I mean, it's always what I heard about being a
saw greater or a two Fred.

Speaker 1 (52:04):
So anybody, well, only one person I know of might
have that big of a grudge against me. Only one
person in my life threatened to actually kill me that I.

Speaker 9 (52:21):
Really believed on this campus.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
No, I haven't seen this person for thirty five years.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
Who is it?

Speaker 1 (52:30):
His name was Solomon Talbert. Before I go there, I
gotta take a walk. You're listening to a special presentation

(53:56):
of the fictional scenes from the Bottom of the edited
end to end without commentary or interviews. Bottom of the
Box is the first series from Ian Punnett's Vaudeville for
the Frightened on the iHeart podcasting network.

Speaker 7 (54:42):
Ian Punnett's Vaudeville for the Frightened Use Your Ears to
Fight Your Fears Series one, The Bottom of the Box.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
I'm writing these notes for Detective Brodie in the conference
room in the back of the metro Ro police station.
Before I tell you about Solomon Talbert, I need to
tell you about where we lived. I grew up in
a time and a place in America where neighborhoods were

(55:15):
built nearer schools so that kids never had to walk
or bike too far to get to them, or they're
adjoining playgrounds, which was you know, they were the center
of our lives. My elementary, middle and high school all
were within blocks of each other and blocks of my house.

(55:36):
In my hometown, most of the moms didn't work full time,
or if they did, they maintained cottage industries such as dressmaking,
you know, doing other people's laundries, or in some cases writing,
so there was no cafeteria in my elementary school. Kids

(55:58):
were expected to walk or ride their bikes home at lunch,
go back to school on their own after lunch, and
then come home after school on their own. Moms, the
rare work from home dad or a surrogate such as
a grandparent or a housekeeper were expected to be there

(56:21):
at lunch and get us back walking or writing on
time to be back at school by one o'clock. In
a family emergency, a kid could stay at school and
eat in the teacher's lounge with the faculty while they
drank coffee and smoked. Each way, I'd have to pass

(56:44):
the same houses on my way home. Solomon Talbert's home
was one of them. But I'll hold on to that
for just a minute. If the other kids in my
block and I were lucky, and I'm not making this up,
the local milkman, or if there were a lot of
packages to deliver the local mailman, would let us jump

(57:05):
in their vans for the few blocks home. It was
against the rules, but they did it anyway, just to
be nice, or if we begged enough. If it were
like colder raining. Our milkman and our mailman were both
named Art Art. The Milton N's van was better because
he didn't have to stop at every house like the

(57:27):
mailman did, and the dairy products inside were cooled with
giant blocks of ice, which was great in the late
spring or early fall. Neither really saved us any time.
Getting Art to the milkman or Art the mailman to
give us a ride was just a kid victory, right,

(57:48):
and curfews were different. Kids had a lot more freedom
On summer days and Saturdays. We would leave the house
and go on marathon bike rides along the trails in
the streets, the easy streets, with fifty cents in our pocket,
a transistor radio taped to our handlebars, and a saddle
bag full of sandwiches and cookies. If we came home

(58:11):
before three o'clock. Our parents were actually disappointed. There were
two or three nervous moms who had never let their
kids go on these long adventures and instead insisted that
their kids play in the front yard where they could
keep an eye on them. We felt sorry for those kids.
Our safety was in the pack and the pocket knives

(58:33):
we all carried. A few kids had slingshots. My friend
Peter even had a metal wrist rocket. We felt invincible.
When I was younger, we learned autonomy at age six.
School let out around three point thirty, but I wasn't
inspected home until four earlier, when it started to get

(58:55):
dark and cold in the winter. But this gave us
about twenty minutes to play or hang out on our own.
If the weather was nice, we'd play a quick game
of baseball on the playground. Each batter got three pitches
with a tennis ball, and then we'd have to rotate.
I like baseball, but nobody was more enthusiastic about playing

(59:17):
than Stevie Talbert, Solomon's little brother. Solomon was already in
the first year of middle school, and Stevie was a
year ahead of me. But he was small for his age,
but it didn't matter. He just wanted somebody to throw
the ball to him for hours at a time, like
a golden retriever. He hated going home. It seemed if

(59:43):
it was a slightly rainy Sunday afternoon and I had
nothing to do, I could ride my bike over to
the school and there would be Stevie in the playground
with his mit, a bat and a tennis ball, just
waiting for somebody to play with. I was never surprised
he was always there. Everything about Stevie's family and his house, though,

(01:00:06):
seemed a little off. His gruff father had a military
hairdo and a permanent scowl on his face every time
I saw him. The only time I saw Stevie's mom
was with an armload of cigarette cartons, walking into the
house wearing what looked like a raincoat over a nightgown.

(01:00:30):
Stevie had me come into his house once because he
wanted to show me his baseball card collection, and it
was really cool. He had organized him all by teams
and leagues and everything in his room, every curtain, every
waste basket, everything had a baseball team on it or

(01:00:50):
some of his favorite players. The curtains were drawn though
on the way up to his room, and there was
barely any sunlight, and the whole house smelled like cigarette
smoke and cooking oil, which finally brings me to Stevie's
older brother, Solomon, who seemed to be the opposite of
Stevie in every way. Whereas Stevie was kind of scrawny

(01:01:13):
with straight blonde hair, Solomon was, as my mother would
describe them, an early bloomer with curly brown hair. Tall
for his age, probably around twelve maybe thirteen, about the
same age as my brother at the time of this incident.

(01:01:34):
Solomon was not friendly like Stevie, and he sort of
squinted when he looked at people. He didn't need glasses,
He just had this way kind of measuring you up.
He never said a word to me until one day,
about a block from his house and closer to mine,
Solomon pulled up on his bike and told me that

(01:01:56):
Stevie wanted to play and had sent me to come
and get him. I told him that I needed to
get home, but Solomon said he would ride me over
to the playground where I could tell Stevie myself, and
then he would ride me back so that I wouldn't
be late. Where I grew up, to give somebody else
a ride on a bike was called bucking. That was

(01:02:18):
the word we used. I've never heard anybody else call
it that, but you could get bucked on the handlebars
or sitting on the seat while the other person pedaled
standing up. So I climbed on the seat and Solomon
started pedling, except he wasn't going toward the school. He
was instead steering toward the nearest city park, a few

(01:02:42):
blocks farther away from my house. I told him again
that I needed to be home by four, and he
told me that Stevie was waiting for me at this
Pioneers Trail park and that it would just take a minute.
And I remember that I've felt kind of flattered, so

(01:03:03):
I let my guard down. Here were two older kids
making me seem important, like they couldn't wait for me
to show up. So I didn't say anything more on
the subject because I didn't want them to think I
was a baby. I was scared. When we got to
the park, Stevie wasn't there. In fact, nobody was there.

(01:03:25):
Solomon rode over to the little playground area, which was
marked off by a rectangle of railroad ties. There was
just a swing set, a slide, and three small, cartoonish
looking motorcycles set atop industrial springs right that rocked back
and forth, each in a primary color. Solomon leaned his

(01:03:49):
bike against the swing set and said, I guess he's late.
Stevie's coming. Though he said to wait for him, why
didn't I swing you until he gets here? And though
it was getting dark, I let Solomon give me a push.
It was so much fun I forgot about getting home.
These were like perfect swings, you know the ones where

(01:04:12):
just before you think you can't get any higher, the
next push took you up just another inch. And after
a few minutes of steady climbing push after push, I
felt like an astronaut, like a zero g's My butt
was just lifting off the swing by about an inch.
I held onto the swing set chains really hard, and

(01:04:36):
I closed my eyes and pretended I was in space.
When I had enough and was starting to feel a
little lightheaded. I asked Solomon to slow me down, and
respectfully Solomon stepped aside as I eventually jumped off just
before the swing came to a full stop. I don't

(01:04:59):
know what time it was, but it must have been
getting around four point thirty because shadows were overtaking the park.
I wanted to go home, but now I was getting
afraid of the long walk by myself and the increasing darkness,
and I was a little dizzy. Plus it was getting cold.

(01:05:20):
Where's Stevie, I asked. Solomon said he wasn't sure, but
since the breeze was picking up, we should wait at
the top of the slide where there was a metal canopy.
If Stevie wasn't there in five minutes, and he held
up his hand, if he's not here in five minutes,
then he would buck me home and explain everything to

(01:05:41):
my mother about why I was late. We climbed the
stairs and the slide, and both of us fit under
the canopy barely, and then everything changed. Even in the
dimming light, I could see a blank look come over

(01:06:03):
Solomon's face. I could hear the echo of his breathing
under the metal canopy at the top of the slide,
and it almost sounded like he was having an asthma attack,
but his expression revealed nothing. Speaking in a monotone, Solomon said,

(01:06:26):
let's play one more game before Stevie gets here. I
said nothing. Now, I was scared. I'll never know for
sure what that game was going to be, but I
think I can figure it out now. Solomon had just

(01:06:48):
started rubbing my leg, moving his way up to my crotch.
It ended for us because I saw the unstable bounce
of my brother's bike light coming toward the slide and
his voice calling out for me. And over here, I
yelled as my brother rode over the railroad tie box

(01:07:12):
and right up to the bottom of the slide. Mom
is really mad. Get down here now. Just as I
swung my legs around to go down the slide, Solomon
whispered in my ear.

Speaker 7 (01:07:24):
If I go to jail, jail, I will kill you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
My brother saw Solomon, but never addressed him, never said
his name, never said hi, and Solomon turned away as
I slid down. Come on, Marky, you're in big trouble,
my brother said. I tried to defend myself for just
a moment at the bottom of the slide, but he

(01:07:54):
told me, do you know how late you are? Mom
is really angry. She sent me to find I've been
riding around for half an hour. Let's go, and so
he bucked me home. When we came in the door,
he yelled, I've got Markie. He's fine. He was at
Pioneer Trail Park with that Talbert kid. My mother asked

(01:08:20):
if you met Stevie, but he said, no, the older one.
That's when my mom came flying into the room, as
if to see for herself that I was okay. She
grabbed me by the arm yanked me and shook me.
If she sounded relieved when I came in the door,

(01:08:42):
she let her anger out. Now when she heard where
I was and with whom you had me so worried
your brother has been riding around looking for you. She
stopped shaking me for a minute, looked at me as
if I were, you know, an object, and she was
taking inventory and said, in a calmer voice, you're grounded

(01:09:07):
for a week. I want you home every day by
three forty five. No playing after school with anybody. Tell
all your friends tomorrow that they shouldn't even come over,
and ask go upstairs, take a bath, get in your pajamas,
come down for supper. No TV all week, and no

(01:09:29):
radio you can read. If you get bored, you're done
for the night. I'll tell your father all about this,
and do not try to appeal to him, because it
won't work.

Speaker 8 (01:09:43):
Now go.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
I knew better than to argue I've been grounded for
a week before, and my mother usually changed her mind
sometime between day three and days five if I behaved myself.
I wanted to explain to her how brave I had been,

(01:10:09):
and how the bigger kids wanted me to play with them,
and that Solomon threatened to kill me, but I thought
that might only increase my punishment. Mom had a temper,
and sometimes her reactions seemed disproportionate. Years later I would

(01:10:30):
understand that she was probably bipolar. Her sometimes violent mood
swings were well, they were enough to drive my father
away not long after Avi was born. In my late twenties,
I heard that she was better after having been institutionalized

(01:10:53):
a few times, but by then the family was kind
of totally and irreversibly broken. Anyway, that night, after my
dad came home from work, he opened my bedroom door
and said, don't ever do that.

Speaker 6 (01:11:10):
Again.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
I asked him what appeal meant, and he explained, there's
nothing I can do for you, just do your time
and closed the door. Four days, I thought to myself, Okay,
four days. She said a week, but I knew this
had to be over four days. A day or so later,

(01:11:36):
friends who went to the local Catholic school, who hadn't
heard that I had been grounded, came around to invite
me to come out and play spud on the sidewalk,
but my mother sent them away. That Saturday was beautiful.
I heard the doorbell and I was hopeful it was
day four. My mother walked toward the doorway defiantly while

(01:12:02):
I tried to look inconspicuous, hoping that she would shorten
my sentence. But at the door was Solomon Talbert, and
suddenly the last thing I wanted to be was let
out of my grounding early for good behavior. And when
he asked whether I could come out and play, my

(01:12:23):
mother said, Mark is grounded. Why don't you play with
kids your own age. She shut the door and Solomon
retreated without a response, got on his bike and rode away.
I never told her what happened on the slide, or
that I was afraid of Solomon Talbert, primarily because somehow

(01:12:44):
I would be punished more secondarily because I was convinced
that he would kill me. There was just something wrong
with that kid, and that's how the whole thing would
have ended. There would have been nothing more to this
story had it not been for Stranger Danger, the elementary

(01:13:07):
school program that raised awareness about child sexual abuse and
how to stay safe around adults that a kid didn't know.
This included never being isolated with a strange adult and
how to avoid being lured into a car by an adult.

(01:13:28):
My class got the Stranger Danger lecture about a year
after that whole period when Solomon took me to the park,
but I didn't really understand just how tragically it could
have ended until even many years after that. Anyway, the
young police officer who gave the demonstration showed some sort

(01:13:52):
of short film of dos and don'ts, asked questions about
strangers in our lives and something about bad time. I
don't remember much of it, actually, because I could not
stop staring at the cops thirty eight police Special with
the polished wood grip that had fastened in his shiny

(01:14:13):
black leather holster. It was just it was hypnotic for
us boys. Yet something must have sunk in, because as
I was walking home along my usual route after school
that day, I decided quite consciously to make up a

(01:14:34):
lie about being kidnapped. I remember standing there a few
blocks from my house, just a few houses from the school,
getting my story straight, deciding what the elements were going
to be in my story, and then intentionally running home

(01:14:54):
so that I would arrive out of breath. It was
just that simple. Although I was raised in a household
where honesty was the best policy, I made up a
story where I was the hero and a stranger danger scenario.
Once home, I told my mother how this shadowy figure

(01:15:17):
who was smoking a cigarette while leaning up against this black,
boxy looking nineteen fifties ish sedan. In my mind, I
can still picture it. It was like someone had taken
a yellow cab from some larger city and painted it
entirely black and had tried to lure me into his car.

(01:15:42):
And as he lunged at me in this story I
was making up, I kicked him and then I ran
home shocked, I guess. My mother asked me to tell
her the story again, and I did, word for word
She made me swear I was telling the truth, which

(01:16:04):
I did, which even shocked me. All I wanted was
for her to be proud of me, that somebody had
tried to abduct to me, but I had fought them
off all on my own. Instead, she called my bluff

(01:16:26):
and she reported my story to the police. It took
about five minutes for the police officer to show up.
The same cop who had put on the stranger danger
presentation just hours earlier was at my door with his gun.

(01:16:49):
He had me tell the story again to him, and
this time he took notes. Then he had me tell
it again while he was looking at his notes, while
I stared at his service revolver some more. He leaned
over and said something quietly to my mother and she nodded,

(01:17:10):
and then he said to me, Markie, do you want
to take a ride in my police car. Let's retrace
your steps. Part of me feared that I was going
to be driven to the police station and put in
prison for lying to an adult, but mostly I was

(01:17:32):
excited about getting to ride in a police car. So,
with my mother's blessing, I sat in the front seat
between the police officer and me. Was his standard issue
dashboard linked shotgun. I asked him, pointing at the shotgun,
how often do you use that? I've only taken it

(01:17:54):
out to clean it. The cop said, what about that,
I asked, pointing at his side arm, said I've never
fired it in anger. I hope I never have to.
That felt reassuring, because I still wasn't sure I was
in trouble. But we drove the few blocks to my
school and he asked me about my favorite subjects. Turning

(01:18:19):
around and heading back down toward the street that I
walked home every day, the police officer drove at the
slow speed of a child walking and asked me to
say stop when I came to the exact point where
I remembered the attempted luring happened. Well, since I'd made

(01:18:42):
the whole thing up in my head, I just chose
the spot where I had imagined it and I said stop,
and the policeman said here and I said, yes, right here,
And it was as if something clicked. He looked at

(01:19:05):
me again and said, you swear this was the exact
spot where the stranger danger happened. And I lied and
I said yes, Okay, that's very interesting. I'm going to
take you home, and I'm going to begin the investigation.
I'll start with the neighbors and ask if they saw anything.

(01:19:28):
And as he pulled away, I looked up, and even
in the darkness, I could see that the place where
we had parked was the home I walked past every day,
the house of horrors of the Talbert family. Completely unconsciously,

(01:19:48):
I had brought the police officer to Solomon Talbert's doorstep.
More significantly, that seemed to register or with him in
a few blocks home. I answered his questions. No, I
only knew Solomon as Stevie's brother. Yes, I had been

(01:20:12):
in the Talbot house once for a second to look
at Stevie's baseball cards. No, that was not Solomon leaning
up against the old car smoking. No, I did not
talk to him that day. I did not tell the
police officer though, about the park, or the top of

(01:20:34):
the slide, or how my brother had come in the
nick of time. He only reported to my mother, who
was waiting, that he had found no evidence of my story.
But and I remember this very clearly, he did not
think I was lying. Even more than I had. This

(01:20:56):
cop had picked up on some sort of subtext in
my deception. He still saw truth, and I took some
satisfaction in knowing that, judging by his determined demeanor, this
police officer was about to go knock on the Talbert's

(01:21:16):
door and ask them if they had seen anything. This
would give him entree into their home and might just
scare Solomon to stop trying to touch little kids without
it appearing as though I had ratted him out. Brilliant

(01:21:37):
if I had planned it. Years later, I asked a
neighbor about Solomon Talbert, however, and he told me that
he was in jail, but that it happened out of
state and he didn't really know why. At a school

(01:21:59):
reunion and sometime later, somebody in the neighborhood said that
Solomon had been accused of sexual assaults that had occurred
after a series of homebreak ins, and that it was
likely that he was never going to be free again.
Until I married Mallory. I never told anybody about Solomon

(01:22:21):
Talbert or his death threat.

Speaker 8 (01:22:24):
If I go to jail, jail, I will.

Speaker 1 (01:22:27):
Kill you, kill you, because our relationship had become so toxic.
I didn't even tell my mother on her deathbed about
the threat, even though it would have been totally within
my rights to hurt her at the end, just like
she had been hurting me all along. I didn't say

(01:22:51):
anything to spare her feelings for having been a failed mother,
only because I wanted to keep an eye out for
Solomon Talbert and I didn't want anybody else to know
about him. I was always looking over my shoulder, down
dark alleys, check social media. He didn't have a Facebook page,

(01:23:14):
wasn't on Twitter, he wasn't listed in any alumni directory
I could find. But I had no doubt that if
he were free and he were to re examine his life,
he would somehow blame me and come after me or

(01:23:36):
my family. My lie had turned into his truth, aided
to buy the police department, who I suspect had continued
to follow Solomon Talbert. I can only imagine how that
would fester, and the only way to clean out that

(01:24:02):
infection would be to come after the irritant me that
had started the wound in the first place. A.

Speaker 3 (01:24:28):
Hi, Detective Brony, this is George Porter. He called asked
me about the calm and Lean Albert and whether he's
been prome last known location according to our record, mister
Talbert Dynam emphysema, While of course rated just over four

(01:24:50):
years ago, Nobody's claimed the ashes. If you have any
of the questions, give me a callback.

Speaker 2 (01:24:57):
Yeah, b.

Speaker 6 (01:25:08):
B b.

Speaker 1 (01:25:19):
B b.

Speaker 2 (01:25:35):
B B.

Speaker 1 (01:26:10):
This concludes the first half of the fictional scenes from
the series. The Bottom of the Box edited end to
end without commentary or interviews. The first installment of Ian
Punnett's Vaudeville for the Frightened on the iHeart Podcasting Network.

(01:26:31):
Credit is due the Wildcat Community Theater of the Air,
featuring Gabrielle Warrender, Marjorie Punning, Andrew and Jen Smith, Tracy
Van Camp, Fernando Martinez, Colby Van Camp, and Jacob Cummings
and Ed Weigel. The theme for Vaudeville of the Frightened

(01:26:52):
was written by Andrew Clark and performed by Ryan Winters
and Pistol Beauty. Original music by Colby Camp and Mason Camara,
engineered by Jacob Cummings, Dawson Wagner, Colby Van Camp, Mason
Camara and Adolfo Blanco. Special thanks to Marjorie Punnett, Corny Cole,

(01:27:14):
Lisa Lyon and Chris Borroughs, and thank you Joe Brandmi.
This has been a fourth down and ten production