Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Of Lictory.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
What's up y'all? Liste girl, Lizabeth Ortiz, the super Bitch
of New York, one of your co hosts Here at
the Victory Life Podcast. We are up for the Single
Awards for the Best Comedy Podcast. If I can believe,
we made it to the top five finalists. So I'm
gonna need you to tap in, get your mother's fucking
hot mail, do whatever you gotta do, get in a
one tap group chat, and vote for your kids. I
(00:22):
vote for the Gang because we need that. Three Dominican
kids from New York. We need something. We're going through
a lot. We got Eric Adams.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
It's a lot of.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Fucked up shit, bro, So please vote for us. Tap in.
October seventeenth is the deadline, so do what you gotta
do until then, Thank you, We love you. Kdomelo Vendiga
of Lity, Welcome, my beautiful people till Tuesday Morning's Bible study.
I am joined here by two terrible guests who commit
various crimes, and you know, as we know, they love
(00:51):
to come to church every five months for a good
press run. But we will open we will, we will
welcome them with open arms, and we have here Mayor
Eric Adams.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
Hey, how you doing. I'm America's mayor because I have swagger,
and also I would like to make an announcement right
now as a very important political figure. You'll notice that
you have a Bible, and you have a Bible. I
(01:20):
do not have a Bible. You may ask, why is that?
Did I leave it at my restaurant? No, this is
a Bible study, but more so for me as a
spiritual individual, it is a Vible study.
Speaker 5 (01:34):
It is a study of the vibes. Bible study. I
like that, you know, I'm gonna take that for me.
By the way, big T Draco T dollars walk them
down in the building.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
You know the vibes.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yes, we also have the only president who has ever
been in Peach twice.
Speaker 5 (01:50):
That's right. And you can check the PaperWorks asks about
me on the yard pussy two times.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Thank you for joining us here. We actually have one
of your new Bibles here.
Speaker 5 (02:01):
Yeah, that's right. Actually I printed a new one. I honestly,
I wasn't really feeling the old one. I have the
new I have the new one, right, I was here,
But I listen, I tell you something. It's about an
American entrepreneur who gets literally literally literally crucified by the left,
and they do transgender operations on him while in captivity.
(02:24):
But despite the woke Empire's best efforts, he is risen, okay,
resurrected three days later.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Oh man, that's a load of shit. It's painful to
listen to. I do want to listen to this. I
want to move over to chapter four of your Bible. Yes,
titled stupid Bitches? Is that correct.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
That I had a ghostwriter?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Okay, I helped him a little bit. I wrote the prologue.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
It says here, I pledge allegiance to the scam the
impressional people in this congregation right in this church. We
don't do offerings. We do a permanent fee every two
days of seven thousand dollars.
Speaker 5 (03:00):
Poor horse, Well, you know, I mean it's about belief, Hey,
it's about belief, all right. And you're not just pledging
to the scam. You're pledging to the bag, all right,
of the United Jakes of America, one nation under t
dollars with ars and mac ten's for all. Come and
take them from us, Come and take them from us, pussy.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
I'm outside, I'm on the block, all right. I ain't
scared of no Ops playing.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
What do you guys think about killing each other?
Speaker 4 (03:30):
I mean, listen, this is my brother right here. You know.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
He's gonna pardon me if he becomes president.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Right, that's that's right. We've already come to an agreement.
But I'll tell you what, if that day ever comes,
we can't do anything until we listen to the latest
episode of Victory.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
Life with the Kid Marrow. Let's get it, let's.
Speaker 5 (03:48):
Get this going. All right, let's wrap up this Bible study.
I wrote the book. I know what's in it.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Come on, you know what I'm saying, Jesus, all that
good stuff. You know, swagger.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Literally like yo, bitch, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Welcome you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (04:13):
This is Victory, Like you know what I mean, the
one and only, the most important show on the planet.
We got Radio Value in the motherfucker house. We got
Liz below Tea's the motherfucker house. We got our daughter
Dading in the motherfucker house. We got me and trailer,
got that building. We got Victor. Uncle Victor is in
the house. Yeah, it's like Uncle Magic, but he's Columbian,
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
And we got her son insane.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
You know what I'm saying, is staff Nick's God. You
know what I'm saying. If he wasn't at the fucking spot,
you missed out, your bitch. You know what I'm saying.
We're back, and we got a lot of talk about.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Yes, we're saying, we.
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Got a lot of you know, we we I feel
like we got to catch up a little bit. You
know what I'm saying. What's been going on with each other?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Bro? I've been going through a crisis with my children.
I know I'm not a mom, but I got mad
cousins who are like I'm like theirs their step mom.
If that's what I'm just a crackhead on who got
money and answers for.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
You said that?
Speaker 4 (05:06):
Because stepmom nowadays I feel like has a very different
like vibe to it.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
You know what I'm saying. What do you mean if
you go on like certain tube sites.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Maybe you should stay off of that. Maybe you should
keep your mind. Maybe you should should go to Christ.
Maybe you should see Christ.
Speaker 4 (05:19):
Yeah you know, I was like, yo, Christ, where you are?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
He was just like he was like, he was like,
I'm goinging, just like that's crazy. But you think I
got the roll.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
But I'm going through this phase with my cousins, bro,
where their parents trust me with these kids, right, and
they have a certain level of love and trust with
me that they why no man.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
Now.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But I'm going through the transition of one particular cousin
who is now a fourteen year old and she is
just uner high school. She got a freaking nose ring now,
and she'd be posted tiktoks about how they be hitting
vapes and smoking weed in the high school bath for
a world, and that shit is fuck. It's fucking with
me because number one, it say, Yo, you got me
(06:14):
on TikTok and you fuck with me like that, so
you're letting me into your life. Yeah, but it's also like, bitch,
what the fuck is you doing?
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
But That's what I'm struggling with, which is why I'm
bringing it to the show because I need y'all out
your advice. I don't know what to do, Bro. I'm
struggling with it because it's like I remember being that teenager.
I remember taking my first shot of some rock, I
remember smoking wack weed and with like six of my homegirls,
So I can't judge her. But I also it's like
a weird transition of seeing her be a kid into
(06:44):
now she's becoming a teenager.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Shit boom, this is I love this. I love this.
Speaker 4 (06:49):
You know what I'm saying because I'm raising four human
beings myself, and one.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Of them was thirteen about to be fourteen.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
And every time I roll the blunt, he does like
this little fake shit where he like pump fakes and
tries to grab the blunt, and I'm like, I will
fuck you up, you know what I'm saying. But then
the other part of me is just like, damn, you
was thirteen when you started smoking weed. So I was like,
are you going to be a hypocrite? But then I
was like, yes.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
You are.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
You know what I'm saying, Do as I say, not
as I do. I was like, yo, listen. I always like,
you know, I think it was Socrates that said or
like I don't know if it was like Plaid, old
Manuel Camp one of like you know, the great minds
that was like Hove did that, so hopefully you would
have to go through that, you know what I'm saying,
as a famous philosopher that said that. So I always
(07:31):
tell my kids, like, yo, this ship is so bad
for you.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Bro, like I did mad drugs.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
You know what I'm saying, Like I just say it
like that, like y'all did mad ship, Bro, that you'd
be scared to do, you know what I'm saying. And
like alleyways, you know what I'm saying that I was
a sucking thing of alleyways, Bro, I made Exign crazy,
so you were sucking dick somewhere else. Come on, come on,
man in the coed bathrooms in the Burger king hallway?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
What is with that whole way? The way? Yoe?
Speaker 4 (08:03):
Freaking liminal space, Yoe? Which is that the way is
a quarter mile long? Like like you can do the
NFL combine in that whole way?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
What is that? So this is what I tell you.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
My advice is to be like Yo, this ship is
bad for you, but it's vaping is super bad for you.
Like just like put the fear of God in them,
like yo, Like Yo, if you want to smoke, bro,
smoke some zion niggas not being a bitch, you know
what I'm saying, Like you know what I mean, Like,
and that will just that will just drastically reduce the
(08:34):
amount of smoking that they're doing. You know what I'm saying,
because if I feel like, if you tell them, yo,
stop smoking, like man.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Fuck you exactly at that stage, that's where you start rebelling,
because that's where I started rebelling. You used to tell
me ship and purposely I would do the opposite. Just
I don't know what what fucking is in your body
at that age that you just don't want to listen
to nobody around you. So my thing is like try
to ease in in that way where it's it's like,
all right, if you're gonna do the ship, be responsible.
(09:03):
Don't smoke everybody's weed because you never know who's trying
to lace you. If you are smoking, be smart. Don't
smoke with people that you don't know.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
Queens Brooklyn, she's in Queens.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
OK. I was gonna say, because in Brooklyn they put
way mad, too much Grabba in the blood.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
Always spreading false information rumors about my people.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
That's what we do. These these are facts people Brooklyn.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
People in the comments lie to me and tell me
I don't put grab in the blood.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
We do, But that's not your business. What is that
for you to bring into National Tea doing?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
What are we doing? Brot?
Speaker 7 (09:45):
I've actually prepared for this scenario like with my own children.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, because you know, I think that
as much as you try to discourage, you know, like bad,
bad behavior, bad habits, whatever, they're still gonna do it.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
So I thought, like, oh, wait a minute.
Speaker 7 (10:01):
If I tell them, hey, don't get high on smoke
and then they do it anyway, I'll just psychologically damage
them irreparably. Like, I'll just do irreparable psychological damage to
their little tiny brains. So what I'm gonna do is
when I catch them high, like if they ever show
up high, I'm not gonna like yell at him. I'm
not gonna lecture them. I'm just gonna take my glasses
off and open my eyes really wide and go.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Griffin, you don't look so good. Oh my god, you're
looking a little weird man, are you? Godrec come look
at him? Look at him? Yo, what the fuck? I think?
We gotta go to the hostel. Are you okay?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Griffin? You're feeling what is going on? Oh my god,
look at his face.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
His face. We gotta get in the car. We gotta
get in the car.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
We just literally visualize my real life fucking nightmare.
Speaker 5 (10:48):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
That is the first of all you do that to
me now, I would be like, oh my god, why
do you do that to me when I was fifteen?
Because that's when you really like. Bro, That's actually set
a good tactic because if somebody again you run straight
into your room bit splashed water in.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
Your face, no corporal punishment necessary, No, no, I don't
need to hit him, no yelling, just you're feeling okay,
you look a little weird. That's crazy because you know
your kids are good kids. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
I was.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
I was a bad kid, so I was very defiant.
So when my moms hit me with that, I was like, word.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Just flat on the couch like that commercial deflated one.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
Yeah, how many things happened on that couch? Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Somebody who has listened to all the podcasts got to
make a list.
Speaker 3 (11:40):
Bros, we've done on that couch.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
That couch is just my mom got that ship reupholstered.
I was like, she wouldn't even get a new one. Bro,
you have Dominican moms. Bro, Yo, together that couch reupholstered.
You need to you need you need a priest to
bless it.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
First.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
You need a priest bless yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:00):
You see.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I'm glad. I'm glad we at least have some fucking sense, bro,
because I just seen that video of Jack the Hersey.
Oh this streamer, bro, little bitch hast kid. I'm sorry
because this kid was driving an expensive ass car with
his boy in the side, his cameraman on the side
in the passenger seat, crashes it because he's reading his
(12:22):
chat while he's driving on a raiding rod rainy, cloudy,
you can't see ship. He's literally reading his chat, crashes
into it. And once he crashes in, a bunch of
people stop on the highway to help them out, obviously,
and this dude is worried about how the angle looks.
He is worried about how he's like, oh my god,
(12:43):
my fucking car. Meanwhile his boy's head is bleeding, his
arm is bleeding, and he just doesn't give a fuck.
He needs and that's what he needs. He needs to be.
He needs to be kneil kneely on rice for two days, bro.
Speaker 4 (13:02):
Holding two bodies, yes, tum bibles facing the corner.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
Just exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Not terrible vibes, Bro. He even even after seeing his
boy injured his and bleeding from his head, he's like, yo, bro,
record this, Yeah, and it says, yo, get the phone
for the second angle, bro, And he's crazy because.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Like like yo, ya gotta watch this video gang La Brigade.
Speaker 4 (13:25):
You know what I'm saying, Because he goes and when
he does that, Bros, it's like you know when you
could like were you just like out of it?
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Yeah? Bros?
Speaker 4 (13:33):
Just like Yo, I was like, Bro, how do you
max on your car like that?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
Have you made under a divider for like a hot
twenty minutes? And then when he.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
Finally just like a when he weasels his way out,
you go, you'll get this, git this, hold this?
Speaker 8 (13:56):
Yea?
Speaker 3 (13:57):
What the fuck your pilots? Can you pilot the drun?
He's like, I can't pile in my eyes?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
You know that is a live action movie on brain Rot, Bro,
I've ever seen it. Just a kid who was raised
on the internet and is only looking for the reactions
and the and the like, Bro, how do you get
into an accident that's your first instinct?
Speaker 8 (14:24):
There was there a movie like that Nightcrawler with j
Jolln Hall. Yes, that's like the brain Rod version of Nightcrawl.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (14:32):
And then I just the fucking Travis Scott's So I
just start a playing in my head is up?
Speaker 3 (14:42):
You're doing Pickman right now? I don't know, I've never heard.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Chief Yeah oh yeah, yeah man, But you think do
you think that Jack this crash situation would have been
better or worse if his dad was Elon Musk.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
Wow? Glass damn. That is the truth that.
Speaker 4 (15:05):
Yo, there's there's no gray. It's either like you horrible
or like he could throw money at it and make
it go away. Yeah, but I don't think that's Elon's vibe.
Bro's like, you don't even.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
See his children. How are you gonna give him money?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
That part? You don't even like these niggas.
Speaker 9 (15:22):
Man.
Speaker 7 (15:22):
Also like his his trans daughter makes like a regular habit.
Speaker 3 (15:28):
Of flying him.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
So yeah, I think Eli's a bad dad.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Like he's a bad dad.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
So like, I mean, we know this because if I
see my pomps jump like yo, if they I swear
to god, bropy.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Do you know.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
I don't know if you're listening to this, you know
what I'm saying. Play, I don't know if you hit play.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
You know what I'm saying. You know that you.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Just let it head, let it run.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
You know what I'm saying, numbers.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
We appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
But if I see you and not in a picture,
but in Gango jumping up Donald Trump and you got it.
Speaker 3 (16:14):
You know.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah? And the worst I think, the worst part about
the picture is his waist just like the little baby.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Foo pusticking out and this ship is so white and
he jumped like four times, yo yo, I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
I've never been that happy, bro. I never had a
lot of fun in my life. I've never been so
happy that I'm.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Like Yol Musk.
Speaker 7 (16:52):
Like I used to think, you know how people like
would exaggerate, like they would edit pictures to like make
somebody really skinny or like big or just like just
like they would take their proportions and just like alter
them just a little bit to make you go, like,
is that really what you look like? But like Elon
Musk just looks like that. He looks like Elon Musk
(17:13):
looks like a computer virus.
Speaker 3 (17:15):
Like he's built like malware. Bro, that's what he looks like.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
He in that one picture, there's a one picture WANs
like you know when you get a bad angle in
your likes and doing something he looks like fucking like
like so like a weird like a fucking what is
this shit's called a me bliss, like a.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Weird fucking like creature, a sea slug.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, he looks like if you smed into like an
insects and like with a microscope. Yes, that's what you get.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
Nah, I got it.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Every time I feed the fish and they come out
and they're like, and he just got mad, pasty white faces.
That's what the motherfucker looks like. Bro, That's what it
looks like. And thank you for translating. Liz Belle shouting
out to Liz Bell. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Some fucking noise. You know what I'm saying. God damn,
you know what I mean? That could be your fucking
statist scent of the day. Goddamn it.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
But now you're trying to be cheat, right, you know
what I'm saying. We gotta get you.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
We cut corners.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
Nah, But listen, Elon Musk did all that, and you
know the term jump for joy I've never done that.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
I've never been so joyful that I jump. You know
what I'm saying. But he jumped, And.
Speaker 4 (18:27):
If you rewind the tapes a little bit, I member,
you know what I'm saying. Yeah, this is the Internet
is forever, y'all.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
I don't know. I'm forty one years old and I
know this. Okay.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
So if you are fifty, fifty five, sixty, sixty five,
seventy seventy five, eighty eighty five, or dead, understand that
the Internet is forever. Yeah, and whatever you put out
there can be referenced, like this tweet from Donald Trump
where he got Elon Musk standing next to him and
in the Oval Office looking like a guachiman, which is
a is a watchman. You know what I'm saying. In
(18:57):
the Dominican culture, somebody just stands in with it. And
then he said, and I quote, you want to read
this one T Draco? Yeah, I got you big T dollars.
Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something
about Muskie boy. Here when Elon Musk came to the
White House asking me for help on all of his many,
many subsidized projects, whether it's electric cars that don't drive
(19:21):
long enough, driverless cars that crash, or rocket ships to nowhere,
without which subsidies he'd be worthless, and telling me how
he was a big Trump fan and Republican. I could
have said, dropped to your knees and beg and he
would have done it, all right, And that's where to
and that's where to the that's on the set, all right,
(19:43):
that's big T dollars on the set. Fuck all the ops,
you understand, Run him down, gun him down. You already know.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
What it is.
Speaker 5 (19:49):
I dropped to your knees and begging. He would have
done it on phonem Grave. He would have done it.
B god king David.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Dog. But this is with Elmo Dog.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Like, Yo, I don't want ye listen, bro, I'm a
I'm a follow for it bro, and I don't want
my kids to.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Ever be like damn nigga.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
Really yo, that's yo. Do you feel me as a
as a fil bro? It's like damn bro really yeah?
Speaker 7 (20:25):
Like that's why that's why I'm keeping my kids away
from the Internet for as long as I possibly can,
because I thought that using my real name as all
my handles was like a thing like like not funk
that I'm using my real name because I'm standing on business.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
I'm staying everything on my name, real name. No gimmicks
fun out of his rainy. Oh you get to know me, potna.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
Right then, I had kids and I'm like, damn, I'll
be busting it open on here.
Speaker 10 (20:57):
Yo, don't twenty videos, bro, A Twitter video of you
duking into a salad bowl is still not as embarrassing
as Elon Musk showing his fupa.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Leaping into the air being like yeah Trumpet like tump
is like listen, if I told you to lake my
nets he would.
Speaker 6 (21:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
That's insane. That's fucking How.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
You explaining that to your kids?
Speaker 4 (21:21):
Bro?
Speaker 2 (21:22):
How you explaining that to your kids?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Bro?
Speaker 4 (21:24):
You know how you explained it to your kids? You
take out a holy text, you know what I'm saying.
You take out the Donald Trump Bible. Make sure they
go to school in Oklahoma, because that's where the Oklahoma
public schools.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
He got them for fifty.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Five k fifty five bands b holy shit or for
Trump Bibles, man. And if Oklahoma wasn't in the fucking
shit enough as if Oklahoma you ever seen Oklahoma's cock
the wrong part of Oklahoma, I call it Oklahoma's dick.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
What happens there? I don't know.
Speaker 7 (21:58):
I don't want to know what happens there. But you
know what, I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something else.
Speaker 4 (22:02):
If the Trump Bibles don't get you in Oklahoma's dick,
then the Galaxy Gas is for sure going to get you.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
But we'll be right back after this break. That's why
pe wise here, y'all, because she bought the Galaxy Gas. Yeah,
oh my god.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Yeah, and she has a bathroom right now. She in
the bathroom right now going crazy off the opium. Had
she in a Chinese gambling den right now.
Speaker 7 (22:40):
I love talking about people who are not miked up
because there's nothing they can do about it.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Until we get hate. And this is from them random accounts.
Speaker 3 (22:49):
That's the random as accounts. Bronsterly counts.
Speaker 6 (22:53):
Yo.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
What what Yo? Why can't anything good and productive ever
become popping?
Speaker 7 (23:00):
Like, like, I feel like we're getting to a point
where it's just gonna it's just getting progressively worse and worse,
to the point where, like I think like people are
gonna start doing anything just to like go viral, just
to have that moment. Like I think we're not that
far away from like a trend where like kids are
like setting themselves on fire.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
Oh yeah, like are this was I want to say
twenty You can definitely fact check me on this. There
was a trend. He's wrong, let's go with that. There
was a train a couple of years.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
Ago would be this is like pre COVID where kids
it was called like the second Floor Challenge or some
shit like that, where niggas was just jumping off of
like second floor balconies.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
What the fuck?
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Oh wait, yeah, is that where that video of that
girl comes from where she jumps off the story when
you're talking about like, yeah, bro is a kid that
did it and like school and it's he's just like
no and he's just like suck out and then he
(24:09):
hits the ground, bro, and it's both of his ankles
like spontaneously combuzzed.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
That. That ship is brutal. That ship the fucking Cinnamon Challenge, Bro.
This is why, this is why I.
Speaker 4 (24:22):
Allegedly beat the ship out of my kids, because I
caught them motherfuckers.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Doing the Hey what we just we just called all right,
hey what.
Speaker 4 (24:33):
Well, that's what happened it When I say so touching necessari,
When I when I get out wing so boa that
can't get on, you're not kidding. You're not kidding doing
(24:56):
when they walk they want to be bossle yo.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
I don't not moving his eyes. I'm lying. I'm too
busy like that, Yeah, I'm too soft.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
I'll be going who the hands And I'm like, ah,
like I'm pump fake so much that they know the
pump fake now it doesn't work.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
It's like it's like a basketball player was just like
all right, magge, I know you can't shoot. You just
doing the shot fake, trying to fake me out.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Uh. Caught him doing like uh a TikTok challenge where
it was just like yo, like chug a gallon of milk.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Nah, come on, And I was just like, yoga this economy.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Gallon show.
Speaker 4 (25:35):
I said, you little motherfucker. Because he like he did
it in secret, right, like him his little homeboys came
and went to the yard and went to like behind
the bush, and he was like taking turns doing it,
and he went to do it. And I didn't know
anything about this until I go out into the yard
like the next day and I'm like, why is there
like three quarters of a fucking gallon of milk just
(25:57):
sitting here in the middle of a patch of grass.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
They're trying to make cheese.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I'm just I'm trying to make some fucking like out here.
I don't know about job. So I found out and
I was like, Yo, what is this? What did you do?
And he's just like, oh no. I was like, you know,
like a prank. And I was like, like a prank, nigga,
Like what do you What the do you mean like
a prank? I turned it to Joe Pesty like a prank?
Like how yeah?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Like what do you mean?
Speaker 4 (26:29):
Like what?
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Like he's trying to be funny. You're a funny guy,
but is your funny? You're a fucking comedian. Now you're
a fucking funny guy. I'm a clown. I'm usual.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah, you guys.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
You guys just like to make your friends laugh. That's
what you do, right, You did a fucking clown the
fucking little group. You did a little jest step And
he's just like no, no, no. So I'm like give
me that phone, motherfucker, cause I know your pastor is
the same as mine. And I opened it up and
I look at his TikTok and it's him and his
man like with the gallon of milk, and one of
them is just like I'm like all right, bro, was
(27:00):
like delete, delete, delete, delete, I.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Mean, is it that bad? I'd rather than the motherfucker
be chugging milk in the backyard than to be doing
to stop your Heart challenge. You remember that when they
were literally stopping their heart just so that they could
faint for three seconds? Iseo, what is going on with
almost you know?
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Just smoke DMT? Do a DMT challenge?
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Also, not listen to that.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
No, that's not actually I'm on board with that. You
want to do drugs so bad?
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Here, take this ayahuasca stick directly in front of me
so that for forty five minutes I can go.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Nightmare, nightmare, night man n y RFK ship yeap. That's
exactly what we're gonna do.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
And that will see if you ever want to then
will see if you turn out like Jack Dugger Tree whatever,
Jack Daughtry, Open the schools.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
Do you know what I'm saying? Because we need to
avoid making more of these motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
I feel like every few years we move past one
like you see how millennials were the ones to clear
what we like, broke the statistics for smoking cigarettes. The
generation before us used to smoke them bitches out of
now we don't. We don't smoke as many cigarettes as them.
But they got us with the vapes. They got us
with the pens and the vapes and they put the
(28:23):
nicos heene into that. Then the kids now they got
Galaxy Gas, so they're not drinking liquor as much. They
said that they have a ten percent. It has switched.
We drink way more than gen Z and gen Z.
But that's that's what I'm saying. Every generation gets flopped
because it's like, all right, now you're drinking less because
(28:44):
you're you know that mental They said that it's because
they understand that mental health. Liquor just makes it worse.
There's a lot of different reasons, but that's one of
the main ones. So it was like, Bro, you move
past drinking to do a drunk that's eaten in your brain.
That's literally could give you that.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
Skip down. Yes, yes, bro, that's speaking of insane.
Speaker 7 (29:10):
That's why Hassan has this a special drop when he'd
be in the clubs because he'd be like, are you
having an awful time?
Speaker 3 (29:18):
It's because you haven't bought a drink yet?
Speaker 5 (29:19):
Bitch, Stop being cheap and go to the bar so
that I can get It's Hassan insane.
Speaker 3 (29:29):
Tell the Galaxy Gas pick up this, so I'm going
outside to smoke.
Speaker 5 (29:35):
Stay by the bar, please, let's go you a ready
get a handy kom Cranberry.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Baby, Spuggetty.
Speaker 4 (29:45):
Baby, are you a spugg atty luck in withj Hassan insane,
Stay by.
Speaker 3 (29:50):
The bar and order a double patron and we'll be
right back.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Literally.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
So went back and I just was gonna continue on
my story.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
I was telling you guys off Mike about how you know,
growing up, my uncle was was a Jehovah, and my
aunt by marriage, her name was Melanie. She was Puerto
Rican and she loved the Poeo like the noise DJ Poerio.
She loved him. It was so amazing. And then I
(30:30):
told I was, like, you know what one time I
blew him at Copa Cabana.
Speaker 5 (30:34):
Was it like? Was it when Daddy Yankee when it
was like sixteen? I remember they did the show at Coney.
Speaker 3 (30:40):
You remember that it was amazing. It was amazing. It
was right outside the Nathans. You remember that it was
so good. It was so good. Foot long hot Thogs.
Speaker 4 (30:47):
I hate it in two bites now, so yeah, you know,
I mean listen, But no, the real important part of
the story, guys is that after ate the foot long
Hot Talk and two Bites, the police were like, oh
my god, we gotta get out of here because this
(31:07):
woman is trouble. And then they took off, and they
took off so fast that they knocked down some teddy
bears from the carnival game.
Speaker 3 (31:15):
And I was like, you guys are going too fast
and you gotta slow down. So I stopped him and
I said, you're run rests. I remember that.
Speaker 5 (31:24):
I remember that, and I remember a couple of Puerto
Rican guys after after you ate the dog, and they said.
Speaker 4 (31:35):
And they kept saying, man, I whip like and I
felt like part of the community is very Bushwick.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Holy ship. I say all that to say this, Yo,
the last one that I saw was actually true person.
You know, I pull it over a cop. I wh Listen,
white people. I invented a term a long time ago.
Speaker 4 (32:11):
You know what I'm saying called caucacity, and it is
audacity only shown.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
By those of Caucasian descent. It is a level of
audacity that you gotta be a Caucasian to reach.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Like us, you know what I'm saying. We reached that
level and we're like, yo, cha, we're wiling, bro, like
you're wiling. White people are like, fucks that, dude. Yeah,
I'm fucking taking it fullballs. Yeah, I'm taking it to
the hill. I'm taking charge of my life. That's right,
all right, And you can't tell me otherwise, all right,
because God damn it? But did I tell you when
(32:44):
you know what gee willickers, I'll tell you something.
Speaker 5 (32:47):
You know what, I.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Freaking I swear to God, bro, White people trying not
to you know what I'm saying, but out here pulling
over cops, which is crazy. I mean, what the fart
is going on? Yeah, like, what the fudge? What the fudge? Seriously?
Speaker 7 (33:09):
Yeah, this is this is some ship you do when
you I've said this a million times, this is this
is the ship you do when you don't have any
natural predators, when you're at the top of the food chain, you, Doug,
you just you look for danger?
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Do you look for danger?
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Bro?
Speaker 3 (33:25):
You're just trying to ride the lightning, bro. And that's
the thing.
Speaker 4 (33:27):
I was like, that's lightning. I'm not trying to ride
is fucking with NYPD and being like yo, hey bitch, yeah,
so how do you do that?
Speaker 7 (33:36):
Because like cop cars are equipped with like the sirens
and the megaphone, Like, how do you pull over a cop?
Speaker 3 (33:44):
And it just kept you just kept following that until
eventually they stop and they go, why followed us? Even
following us? It's fifty thark, what do you? What the
and then you go, I'm glad you stopped. I don't
know why.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
I'm out of breath. I was driving too, but but
but I'm glad you stopped. The fuck you way split
it out? What the fuck is going on here? You're
driving reckless. You've been following me since the fucking the driving.
I couldn't even get my halal.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
I was for the dirk. I couldn't even got my lal.
You were driving reckless. Listen. I was gonna say, you've
been following me since the Jackie rabbits bur I don't
call it that.
Speaker 11 (34:30):
It's the behoy, all right, you follow these people have
gotten enough, all of them not even want to take
off fucking highways.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
Yeah, let me get let me guess it's Hispanic carriagage one.
What's decks, fucking tackle bullard. I had enough of this ship.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
He why he started sounding he started sounding like Patino
just then towards the end, which makes perfect sense, because
don't try to pull over police if you're a person
of color, because you'll end up on a T shirt
and brushed by somebody named Pito. You know what I'm saying,
don't do that. Also of note is that Pacino says
(35:16):
that there's no afterlife, so if you get marked out,
that's it. Yeah, warm food, end of the story. What
fuck he got the answers?
Speaker 3 (35:23):
Do you thank you?
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Jesus here?
Speaker 3 (35:24):
I think he died once.
Speaker 9 (35:25):
Yeah, he died in his living room in twenty twenty.
Oh shit, but came back after a little bit.
Speaker 4 (35:30):
Damn.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
That's wow.
Speaker 9 (35:31):
And the crazy part is this was just like an
AV club interview. It had nothing to do with like,
they didn't come there for that, and he's like, there's
no afterlife.
Speaker 7 (35:38):
This was really fucked up, and like al Pacino shout out,
shout out to Paccino legend obviously, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (35:45):
But I just.
Speaker 7 (35:46):
Imagined that one time that he died in twenty twenty
and he gets to the afterlife, which apparently there isn't one,
and he just gets there and he looks like John
Travolta in fucking You know what I mean, John Travolta,
What the fuck? What the what's the name of the movie.
Goddamn pulp fiction?
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Yes, John Molsay in Pulp Fiction, he shows up to
Stortey House, He's just like, all right, he steps back.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Out of it. He's like, oh fuck, I gotta tell
I gotta tell Bobby.
Speaker 4 (36:17):
I gotta tell Bobby, Bobby, listen. I don't think that's
the reason he said that. The reason he said that
is because Bill Maher took you a bitch. You know
what I'm saying. Wow, dog, Bill Maher. Dog, Bill Maher
looks like if there was like like Revolutionary War re enactments,
(36:38):
he would have to be George Washington, and every single one,
Bro that makes it looks exactly.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
Like fucking George Washington. Like a dollar bill, a dollar bill, Bro.
Speaker 4 (36:49):
If you just put with the red tail, he looked
like Bill Maher looks like somebody put an Easter Island
head inside of a white pillowcase. It looks like to me,
listen and I'm not this is this is facts, because
I've seen it with my own eyes. If you put
(37:09):
Bill mar in a tanning machine, Bro, and you get
him like two three shades darka and you put like
a little bit of like s curl in his hair,
look like, oh man, put not even Bro put him
in a like the sleeping the sleeping gown bro, and
just put him on any fucking terrorists in dr bro.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
That's somebody's t t Yeah, that's like she got like a.
Speaker 7 (37:39):
And so we speaking of which, I think it's time
for victory, like Spanish lesson of the day.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
That's right, I haven't done.
Speaker 7 (37:49):
I think today's lesson is going to be they hello,
or la tranquilo, or lalla tranquila or they hello tranquilo.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Yes, so in context it is.
Speaker 4 (38:02):
I see Rainy smoking crack in his lobby, and I
turned to Lizbelle and I'm like, Yo, Rainy smoking crack.
Speaker 3 (38:11):
Bro, What the fuck? All right?
Speaker 7 (38:15):
They had a tronquillo roughly translates to leave him, her,
or them alone, whether it be for a good purpose
like leaving them be letting them have their peace, or
for bad purposes, because you certainly don't want to get
between someone like me and their crack pipe. This has
been victory lights Spanish lesson of the every day.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Enjoy So dumb edward back, you know what I'm saying,
Bill mant tuck, you bitch. Bill Mall looks like George
Washington on dal Built.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
I don't like that. I don't like that you're referring
to her as well as him taking her bitch, because
maybe she wanted to be. She's a grown ass woman.
Maybe she just like old weird bitches.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
Apparently she is.
Speaker 8 (39:00):
These are Summer her past partners Al Pacino, Mick Jagger,
oh Ship Eastwood.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
Also she likes some little dinosaur.
Speaker 7 (39:10):
I think her tastes aren't that she likes old guys,
young guys whatever. I just think that she likes having
partners that were paid with money that was still backed
by gold, because I think I think there's.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
More there's.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
More weight, There's more weight there, you know what I mean.
Crypto got no shot, no shot, Shorty, Shorty know what
she's doing. Clint Eastwood, Yeah, he got mutual binds. His
dick is probably like a slim gym.
Speaker 2 (39:43):
I love slim jam.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
Oh my god, damn.
Speaker 7 (39:48):
Amazing. Shout out to Shorty, whoever you are. We're not
gonna put you on blasts here because we're not trying
to suck your bag up. Shout out to you making
making necessary plays an investment, I mean.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
Like trying to connect, just going to play. She gotta
be listened to every after every old nigga that she bangs. Yo, damn,
that's crazy. That's like the end of Nicole Smith model.
You know what I'm saying, Like, let me fuck with you,
you old bitch. You know what I'm saying. Let me
give you like energy life, your last five years of life,
and then when you die, you're gonna give me all
your bread. Bah.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
That's genius. Smith die. Really she did the old nigga
that first she got the money and then she died
after because she was like, I don't know, I think
she was ahead. Possibly probably, I'm not sure.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
You know what I'm saying, yeah, confirmed, Yeah, But speaking
of speaking Nicole Smith, that we've lost several baddies, not
to drug overdose, I mean we have, but we've.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
Lost several baddies just to the game.
Speaker 6 (40:47):
You know.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
I feel like a lot of a lot of joints
been claimed or or or or drafted.
Speaker 7 (40:53):
You know what I'm saying. Sports analogies. We know Lizbelle
loves sports, you know, and I feel like I haven't
I haven't recovered from from from any of it. I
haven't recovered from any of it. Hey, listen, brother, So
I think that I think Liz Belle I think I
have a question. I have a question for you because
usually when this hap like when a female celebrity or
(41:15):
when a woman, when a woman of note gets gets
you know what I mean, is in relationship, gets married,
gets pregnant as a child, whatever. Average dweebs on the
internet like me get very sad as if we had
a chance with them at all. Anyway, Anyway, I still
haven't recovered from Rihanna, Margo, Robbie, Alexandra d Dario, Sofia Ricci,
(41:37):
Vanessa Hudgens, Elizabeth Moss, Hillary Duff, Natalie Vis Schools or
Francesca Farrago.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
I wonder, so I wonder exactly he knows what I'm
talking about. Cameron breaks six foot tall glass of milk
off the market.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
You know what I'm saying. I was wondering, el Elita
milk is crazy.
Speaker 7 (42:00):
So I was wondering, do you feel that way when
like attractive male celebrities get bagged or like or like
they pop out with a wife or a girlfriend or whatever.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
Always But that's just a stupid bid spirit where you
just like bro, you don't see when even when bad
buddy first I think he like kissed the girl in
a music video. Yeah, all of like his fans me included,
was like, fuck, is you doing good?
Speaker 4 (42:27):
Bro?
Speaker 2 (42:27):
Like what's going on? Even when he popped when he
pops out with his short these girls, was like, I'm
not really feeling your vibe. So yeah, I see the
bad buddies. I see the method man's.
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Man.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Yeah wow, yeah, the medod man. So I forgot what
I was talking about. He just elbows right like you see.
Of course, these these fucking people that you love in
your door. But no, it's it's dope to see them
in in happy, committed relationships. I know that's not what
you want to hear. You want to hear me say
that I will sucked their cocks no matter what.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Talk Oh my god, hold on talking about because those
that's not.
Speaker 2 (43:15):
What we were looking for.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Actually speak for yourself, like that's exactly what I wanted.
Speaker 4 (43:24):
But it's like I feel like, like you said it,
like women buying large lights are like alright, cool, he's in.
Speaker 3 (43:31):
Yeah that's what's up. Like he got a white for kids,
like kudos, Like men are like you fuck, they hope
the little nigga drowned in the pool. You know what
I'm saying.
Speaker 7 (43:39):
Like men are haters because every single time I go, man,
I'll fade this motherfucker right now, I won't.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
I won't run a thirty right quick.
Speaker 4 (43:53):
Man's you know it's bad because Rock, like Rocky Rihanna
is like the perfect example, right yeah, yacky pops.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
I was like, Yo, they're having a baby. Everybody's like, man,
fuck this thing up. I will joust right now.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
I will, we will joust, jount, we will set up
attorney at Aaron Hall.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Were making but they were like, yo, Rock is a
beta male. He's close to camera. Rihanna's pussy is open to.
Speaker 1 (44:23):
The world, try and.
Speaker 4 (44:28):
Pussy facing world, defeated, fucking defeated posture like posture holding
both children. He's a beta male. I was like, y'all,
get this ship out of here. Bro Oh my gosh,
get all that ship out of here. You know what
I'm saying, shot the card. She's back in the game.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
You know what I'm saying. That's wrong.
Speaker 4 (44:45):
And that's someone I genuinely do have a chance with.
You know what I'm saying, she'd be she'd be second
that when it's gummy. That wasn't a joke party. Yeah,
I'm saying I'll be at Starlet's. No, I don't, but
I'll go for you.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I like seeing Cardioles. That my favorite Cardi.
Speaker 10 (45:07):
Bro.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
What when I see Cardi from of like a building
that I'm like, I don't know what this building is,
but I definitely drink Paul Masigner from this building.
Speaker 3 (45:13):
Yeah you does?
Speaker 2 (45:14):
You gonna have a good time.
Speaker 4 (45:15):
I definitely drank green Apple and Jay on this stoop
that you're in front of it right now that you
can't starty with when.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
In front of his ship.
Speaker 4 (45:25):
Yeah, yo, listen to your assholes. We haven't done this
in a long time, so we're bringing it right the
fuck back. Okay, it is the goddamn mail bag, you bitch. Okay,
we're gonna take us out on a mail bag man
got a banger, and we're gonna answer it because we
love y'all.
Speaker 3 (45:39):
It's true. Sorry. I was reading reviews of Starlet's. They're
like great wigs, bad service.
Speaker 8 (45:49):
All right, bold, underscore, brash asks. Would love some advice
on how to avoid feeling behind on life, even though
I know I'm still young, twenty six years old.
Speaker 4 (46:02):
Wow, oh, how you avoid feeling behind that life? Motherfucker?
Look at me, I'm forty one years old. I feel
buying on life. You're never buying on life.
Speaker 3 (46:15):
Life is always on time. You know what I'm saying.
It's called divine time in God. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (46:19):
You gotta open your third eye and understand that everything
happens for a reason. You know what I'm saying, Good
and bad and this too shall pass.
Speaker 3 (46:27):
Damn. I was mad, like I felt like, it's not
like Jason Tatum Nigga just say here's cliche, cliche, cliche,
it's about that time, but not a real is Bro.
You're not You're twenty fucking six years old. Dog Listen.
Speaker 4 (46:45):
Victor told me some shit in like twenty fourteen that
blew my mind and it gave me like a new
lease on life.
Speaker 3 (46:51):
And I was just like, you know what, I'm gonna
do more substances than ever because he was just like yo.
He was like yeah, that didn't feel like the theme.
Speaker 4 (47:03):
He was like, did you know that in the past
fifty years there's been more medical advancements in the past
one hundred and fifty years. And I was like, damn, bro,
I was like, is that going to keep happening? He's
like yes, And I was like, damn, So now I
look at my kids and I'm like, yo, you niggas
might live to be one hundred and fifteen like regular,
you know what I'm saying. So that being said, if
you're twenty six, I'm probably going to croak at like
(47:24):
seventy two, You're probably gonna make it to like one
hundred and twelve.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
Dogs, So you are not You're like not even a
quarter of a way through life.
Speaker 9 (47:31):
If I can add to what I said, being with
mar and Pacino being examples, it's bitches out here for
old niggas.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
You know what I mean, Rich old niggas. Let's be
very rich rich. Yes, don't give there with your fucking
orthopedic trying to mag you get that, trying to bag
a young a nice looking shorty, little looking shorty, like
fucking Bengay.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
Shit, what you got for our friend here, Liz Oh.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I would say that that's gonna happen to you every
year when you turn fifty. You're gonna be like, damn
all these other fifty year old bitches. I feel like
I don't got my life together. It's a fucking trick.
It's literally just a mind game. You are where you're
supposed to be, and everything that's supposed to happen will happen.
All I will ask for you is to do your best.
That's all I'm asking for you. If you know that
(48:20):
you're doing your absolute best, whether it's you emotionally, in
any aspect of your life, if you're doing your fucking best,
it's all right.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Don't look at Instagram, don't look at all these fucking TikTokers.
Don't look at the internet to put something into a
time place for you, into a timestamp, because that's only
going to show you the best. Nobody's telling you about
their failures, about the shit that went wrong for them, nobody.
They're only telling you about the best. So I would say,
do your best and remember that every year you're always.
Speaker 3 (48:49):
Going to be like, damn, what the fuck am I doing?
Speaker 2 (48:52):
That's just human life.
Speaker 6 (48:53):
Bro.
Speaker 7 (48:53):
Yeah, yeah, some songs, Uh, I think those were right points,
which is awesome because I don't have any advice for
you because I'm myself.
Speaker 3 (49:06):
After we finished taping this.
Speaker 6 (49:17):
Of lictory like like like.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
M hm lictory like like like like