May 3, 2021 • 37 mins
On today’s episode of Vitamin D, Dawn looks into her email bag and responds to letters from her listeners. Hear what Dawn has to say about a man who suspects his wife is cheating on him with a mutual male friend, a young professional who realizes he is being taken advantage of at his place of employment due to insufficient compensation and a young woman who feels that there is nothing unique about her life.
If you need advice on passion, purpose, career, love, and anything else, go ahead and submit your Vitamin D advice letter to vitamind@dawndaispeaks.com.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you may be.
Guess what you are tuned into the Vitamin D podcast
and what well, I'm your host, Dawn Day, here to
get you excited about your life so that you can
live life on purpose and for a purpose. You're worady,
(00:21):
now listen, if you're new, I want to say welcome, Come, come, come,
Heather Vitamin D. It's a point of my name, right.
You know you get Vitamin D from the sun. Well,
Dawn means the sun, and so I'm here to shed
light into your life. And I want to be clear,
Vitamin D I like to consider a multi vitamin for
your mind. And in this whole process of where we
shed light, that's shutting light on the good and the bead.
(00:44):
So basically we gotta keep it real because you can't
fear what you see, because what is fear? False evidence
appearing real? And if you want to be better and
if you want to do better, you got to see
better and what better way to see than what the
lights on? So are you ready? This does require for
you to look at yourself and to be out of
(01:04):
next with yourself. You don't what it really requires is
for you to communicate with yourself. I say the communication
is the key point because it's almost that whole idea
of where I talk about how you are your greatest
asset is where you know where you stand. You do
a check in and if you have no idea what
I mean by uh, the Life Bank account and you
(01:25):
being your greatest asset, well, think about any account that
you may have right, so you have like say, for example,
your checkings or your savings right and what you have
on account or your assets. Well, if you have your
Life Bank account and you are your greatest asset, it's
all about balancing this account because they're going to be
deposits and they're going to be withdrawals, and there are
(01:45):
things that are going to ask your life. There are
things going to be a liability and listen because life
and how it moves, that's the way it goes. But
the key is to keep the balance. You check in
with me. So along with in the light on this podcast,
I have UM I share inspirational insights with music lyrics
(02:07):
and also with celebrities and everyday people like you and me,
just a mode of how to live life better, how
to be better. And I also do something where I
like to splash and as I do something where I
talk about advice letters where I welcome listeners who um
want advice on love, relationships, career, um success, just anything
(02:28):
to email me at Vitamin D at dawn day Speaks
dot com. You got that Vitamin D at Dawn day
Speaks dot com. And then ever so often you know,
I crock open the Vitamin D email bag and I
don't read the letters. Now, this is strictly my opinion,
and like I told you with Vitamin Day, it's all
about shedding light on the good and the bad. So
(02:51):
that means I'm gonna keep it real with you. You
may not like it, but understand it's only so you
can be better and do better from my point of view.
And if you're writing in and I can only gettum
that you want to know what I think. At the
end of the day, remember this podcast is all about
you living your life on purpose and for a purpose,
(03:12):
because you know we're gonna die, right, I'm just saying
I don't know about you, but I'm not trying to
waste any time. You know, time is like your most
valuable corn. Once it's spent, you can't get it back.
It's gone forever. Be mindful with your time, mainly with
(03:33):
yourself and then with others. Oh gay, So on this episode,
I'm diving into my vitamin D email bag. Um, I'm
just excited to see what you'll got to say. So,
without further ado, it's time for your dose or should
I say doses a vitamin damin D right with me
(03:57):
and get excited about your All right, let's get to
this first letter subject, is she cheating? Dear Dawn, I'm
worried my wife is cheating on me, or at least
about to. So it was a bit of a back story.
We're both twenty seven and we've been married for eight years.
(04:17):
It's had its ups and downs, but lately it has
been more down than anything. My wife suffers from depression
and anxiety. I'm in the military, so she has had
to leave her hometown for quite some time. She visits
as often as she can, usually once a year at least. Um,
lately things have been hard. She feels like she doesn't
have a support system, no friends in the area we
(04:40):
are living in, and I have been going a lot
due to work. I try to be there as much
as I can via phone calls, and text, but it
doesn't seem to be enough, so we decided on a
plan she would move back home for six months to
be around her support system. We never said taking a
break or anything. This was for her mental health. WHOA.
(05:01):
At the beginning of this, she took a vacation to
San Diego, where we had lived previously. She loves the
area and we had a mutual friend there. A couple
of days after getting there, she started ghosting me. I
figured she was busy, so I waited to hear from her.
Three days go by and not even a text. So
I call him and she's with our mutual friend, a man.
(05:23):
I'll call Thomas and says she's busy and has to go.
We spoke for barely two minutes now about this friend.
Thomas and I were great friends while we were living there,
but ever since we left, he doesn't respond to my texts.
But a week before my wife's trip back home, they
begin talking a lot every day. Nothing intimate or anything,
(05:46):
but I know what men are like. Now I'm seeing
on his Instagram story that all of a sudden, he's
booked a private dinner cruise and my wife still isn't
answering my calls. I've always believed in the adage, where
they're smoked, they're as fire. So I'm freaking out. What
should I do? Sir? The first thing you need to
(06:09):
do is be real with yourself. Don't play yourself. You
gotta really trust your intuition. You know what this is.
You know, if you're not getting what you want at home,
or if you're not getting what you want, oftentimes people
look elsewhere. You know, your wife communicated with you that
she was unhappy, and I see how you did a
(06:32):
happy compromise of what you were saying, Hey, well, let's
make it so that you're able to go home and
be around your support system. Where's the thing. It sounds
like she was still saying that she needed more of you.
You are her partner, you are her made Now. Do
understand that you're working in the military and your job
(06:52):
is very demanding. But where your attention goals, that's where
things grow. And so your wife has to clear I'm
not happy here. You know, she doesn't feel like she's
growing in that area. So she you say, hey, she
went ahead and took a trip back to an area
where she loved San Diego, where she felt good and
(07:15):
there was a friend. And this friend you say, let's
call him Thomas, hasn't communicated with you at all. Now
your wife, your own wife, who you've been married to
for eight years, not one or two, not three I
said age, And regardless of the time, your wife isn't
(07:36):
responding to your calls. Three days and you haven't heard
from your life partner, somebody that you made a commitment to,
somebody that you said that you love so much that
I want to spend the rest of my life with
somebody that you communicated and you are on this wavelength
of love with has not communicating with you. You know,
(08:00):
as I talk about relationships and I talk about relationships
with self, see how you are communicating with yourself and
honest with yourself is how you would treat your relationship
with your partner. How you do anything is how you'll
do everything. And I can tell even about what you're
saying of having to do the person who you've dedicating
your entire life too to say, hey I gotta text
(08:21):
you and I can't spend time with you, Well, what
does that say about the relationship? So when you say, hey,
what should I do? Well, One, you need to communicate
with your wife, and to be honest with yourself about
what the possibility of something that is going on. Now,
the question is when you find out what it seems
the obvious and I don't want to put that on there,
but I'm just saying, all of a sudden, they're communicating.
(08:43):
All of a sudden, this single man is now having
a romantic dinner and coincidentally enough, your wife is out
there and she's not responding to you. It's interesting how
this entire time, how you know she's talking about how
she's unhappy in the relationship, whether that be where she
is located, and also not filling the support. She's getting
(09:06):
it from someone else, someone else that does have the time,
someone else that is paying attention. Now doesn't mean that
you don't love her, No, I'm not saying that you
don't love her. But what I'm saying is that you're
not giving her what she needs. And if you're not
giving her what she needs, do you see how the
communication has broken? Do you see what's happening? There's a disconnect?
(09:29):
But again, what do you do when you find out?
That's the real question, because this is what we're going
to require you to take some time and to really
see eye to eye and if this is are you
and your partner growing on the same level. And that's
the whole thing that I was saying about, making sure
you communicate with yourself and really do a check in
to see what it is that you really want. Do
you want this career? Do you want your wife now?
(09:52):
Because of your wife, and I want to use this
term loosely, her illnesses um dealing with depression and dealing
with anxiety that requires a different level of attention that
she needs. She needs that and you can't give her that.
So what happens or do you false her for going
outside or going elsewhere? Because at what point did the
(10:15):
communication break down that you can go more than one
day without speaking to your wife. Does it just happen
overnight on just this one trip. You know you probably
would have sent out the search more or something like that.
So something leads me to say that perhaps this is
not the first time that she's gone without answering your calls.
Because if you are used to talking to somebody very frequently,
(10:36):
like you said, you've been making sure you text and call.
She hasn't responded in three days seventy two hours, and
you didn't make sure that you did a wellness check.
What's that about? Now? Is this the whole situation that
you may be in denial? Because again she said what
she needs. You basically said, hey, I'm gonna do my
(10:57):
best of what I can give you. But clearly that
isn't enough because she's flourishing in the area and around
people that can give her attention. So now you have
to ask yourself, how do you want to move forward?
What should you do? You need to communicate with your
wife because clearly it's evident seventy two hours and she
hasn't replied or hasn't called you back, there's a breakdown
(11:17):
and communication. That's the first thing you need to do
is talk to your wife. And you guys need to
do a check in on where you all right now
because who you married it years ago may not be
the same person she is to Chang. Doesn't mean that
she never loved you. No, I'm not saying that. It
doesn't mean she never loved you or she still doesn't
love you. But people change, just like the seasons, and
(11:40):
you have to remain or to think like, are you
that constant what happened? So I would recommend you definitely UM,
talk to your wife. I would say, brace yourself because
it seems as though where the smoke is that there
is fire and that she is probably um parlaying and
say in diego on some type of beach, you know,
(12:02):
just parlaying. But yeah, you know, it's never easy. But
I think love conquers all. And what it sounds like
if she needs some attention and another thing, you might
not let your wife go nowhere with no grown man
another man. That's not true. UM, So give me a
(12:24):
follow up on what happens. And once you find out,
I mainly want to know what you are going to
do from here. Are you going to communicate because based
on what I'm reading, that's some area that you could
do more work in. Okay, all right, let's go on
to the next letter subject. Am I being undervalued? Dear Dawn.
(12:47):
I don't feel respected in my place of work. I'm
twenty eight and just trying to climb the corporate ladder
to a CE suite gig that I can just jump
start a path towards wealth. I've been at this company
for the last five years and have seen barely any
job growth in my field. It's not uncommonacy promotions to
middle management, and that time I was worried that I
wasn't putting in my best, you know, like the guys
(13:09):
at the top saw me as somebody to keep around.
But after a recent project proposal of mind turned out
to be a huge success and I was getting praised
from my supervisors, I knew that at least they valued
my ideas. When I started to ask around about what
people were getting paid, I made friends with someone in
HR early, which has paid off many times. I came
(13:30):
to the conclusion that the company has been low balling
me when it comes to raises the last few years.
To add insult to injury, someone who had gotten hired
after me was promoted to a supervisor position before me.
I don't mean to disparage my colleague, but I know
for a fact that I've contributed more to the team
than them, and I have shown up. This knowledge is
starting to take a tone on my health. I can't sleep,
(13:53):
I can't work effectively knowing that these people don't value me. Dawn,
Should I just go in and ask for a raise?
Could I even find a new job in this market?
Thank you for writing in. I think anyone that has
been in the workforce has definitely felt what you have
your writing in about. And you will hear me say
(14:16):
time and time again, you have to teach people how
to treat you. You have to get off the sales
rack and get behind the glass where the valuables are.
So my question is to you, what's your worth? How
much do you value yourself? Now? The reason why I'm
(14:37):
asking you that is that it sounds like you're somebody
who's ambitious. In fact, you said the reason why you
were going after this job and trying to cryme the
corporate ladder is because you want to work towards a
path to success, to wealth. So what you deem as
happiness to get to your level of points, well, when
we talk about success, you know, it's it's this constant movement,
(14:59):
it's this journ. Well, for the past or five years,
you have been stuck or in the same position. Now
it's starting to take a tone in your health. Is
it because you've just found out that other people are
making more money or is the fact that you aren't growing?
Which one is it? Because if you're gonna consistently look
at your neighbor's yard, well heck, it's always gonna look
(15:21):
greener over there. But again the question is is how
much do you value yourself? How long do you sit
there in that position? Now? You said on should I
just go in there and ask for a raise? Do
you deserve the raise? How much do you better yourself?
If you know that you've been doing a great job,
why wouldn't you ask for it? If you can't see
(15:43):
the worth in yourself, how and why would you expect
somebody else to. You have to know what you're bringing
to the table. If you don't stand for yourself, you
will fall for anything. And look at yourself. You've been
in the same situation for five It's not it's not
about whether or not you can do the work. You
just said that you just did this bomb project, but
(16:06):
yet there hasn't been a change in your salary, you
having received any type of promotion. So then I have
to ask you what do you want? You're asking me
what you should do. I have to ask you what
you want because I'm getting a little confused right now,
Like you're saying, I want to be successful. I want
(16:27):
to build my path towards success and wealth. Yet you
don't know if you should go in there and ask
for raids? Close miles. Don't get fed. You're trying to eat.
Open your mouth. You gotta say something for somebody to
give you something to chew. If i'm your your company,
your business, why would I just volunteerly give you more
(16:48):
money if you're not asking for it. M hmm. You
can't expect somebody to see your value in your worth.
You have to dictate that. That's what I said. Get
off the clearance rack and get behind glass where the
valuables are. You need to go in there and show
your numbers. You need to go in there and let
them know how much you value yourself. You're gonna have
(17:09):
to bet on yourself. Are you as good as you
claim to? Because you know when people are successful, when
people are well, they're ambitious. It's about growth, it's about movement. Well, listen,
you've been stuck not one, not to nothing. You're not
for but five years. And you hear me say this also,
often how you do anything is how you'll do everything.
(17:33):
You're asking for a microphone, But you have nothing to
say when you talk about having um a C suite
level position, that's a leader, that's somebody that can take charge.
That's somebody that can dictate orders. That's somebody that exudes confidence,
and right now I see that there's not that same
(17:54):
confidence you have in yourself because when you know your worth,
you know what you're asking for because you know what's
at stake. But guess what, we all start from somewhere.
The fact that you're writing in, the fact that you're asking,
that means the conversation is happening. And the previous letter
I had to say, Hey, what happened to the check in?
What's what you're doing the check in? So we're not
(18:16):
gonna beat up on that area, but we are going
to cut on the light of what it is that
we see because now it's time. What are you gonna
do from here? It's not too late because you're still
employed by the company. It's not too late because you're
still progressing, you're still moving forward. Now the only question
is going to be are you're going to have to pivot?
Because if they are not willing to give you what
you want, are you willing to go out there and
(18:36):
take a chance on yourself? How much do you believe
in yourself? What do you think the value of yourself? Is?
Only you can answer that. I can't tell you that.
But what I can charge you to think about within
yourself is that how much do you value yourself? What
do you think you're worth? Is so you just thought that, Uh,
(18:58):
the person that got hired after you just sat there. Wait,
did it sound like they were ambitious and they went
up to the table so they can get fat. And
it's not so much as throwing someone else under the table.
It's all about you scooping up to the table so
that you can eat. People just asking for you to
show up, for you to sit in your throne. And
that's what we talk about authority and dominion over your life.
(19:21):
Because then you asked the next thing, you said, could
I even find a new job in this market? What
do you want? You have to have that belief in
yourself when you want to be successful, when you want
to make it, when you want to grow. Even when
you look at a plant right outside of the garden
and the grass, when you look at a tree, they
(19:43):
rise up to the light, they stretch, they grow, what
do you want? Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes you're
gonna have to take a chance, because let me ask
you this. If you go out to them and he say,
we don't have the funds. Right now we can't pay you.
(20:04):
Are you willing to walk away? Are you willing to
walk in your truth? And right now your truth says
that you aren't being paid your worth? So are you
gonna dictate it? Or are you gonna sit another five
and fifteen twenty years in the same position you are
right now being low palt because you're allowing them to
dictate you. You know, when I was eighth grade, I
(20:26):
shout out to Ms. Karma rest in peace. I learned
this quote, I make myself what I am. Do you
understand that what that means and what that says? You
have the ability to create the life that you want.
It's in your hands. You can speak it over your life.
(20:48):
And I guess I'm so passionate about you like doing.
All I did was just asking about what should I
do with this job? But remember how you do anything
is how you'll do everything. And the fact that we're
talking about your value, We're talking about your value and
your worth. How many years you spent on the job,
you'res curating it, years making it and cultivating your own
years of learning how to talk to people, years of
(21:10):
learning how to be consistent, years of knowing the language,
the fabric, the threatening, the material, the essence of this company.
So what you're gonna do? Boom, You're gonna do what
you need to do or not? So you said, Dawn,
should I just go and ask for a race? Hey? Can? Yeah?
(21:30):
You need to go in here and ask for the raising,
get your money? Are you trying to be about that
life or at all? Going there and dictate your worth?
And you have to believe so much in yourself that
if they say they can't do it, you're gonna have
to just do a pivot and go somewhere else. Because
the right job for you and the right moment for you,
(21:53):
it's gonna fit and it's gonna be right. That's how
you'll know. Okay, baby, gonta get your money? Hey, all right,
let's go on to the next letter subject help me
make my life interesting and Dear Dawn, I have a
twenty four year old woman living in Fresno, and I
(22:15):
am slowly finding out I am the most boring person alive.
All I do for fun is watch TV and go
out with my friends. Nothing else is interesting to me,
not my books and my favorite games, not any new movies,
not discovering hobbies. I sometimes feel like I just have
to have fun and do nothing else. The situation has
me feeling empty on the inside. What can I do
(22:37):
to find more things to like? I mean, I used
to walk almost daily, but it only lasted a month
because I got a foot injury. I read a book
a while back on the value of forming good habits.
I know that it takes time, which I have a
lot of. I'm currently unemployed and waiting for an internship
with my dad's friend to start. I figured that when
that picks up, I'll be too busy to actually do something.
(22:58):
So I sort of feel like there's this ticking clock
if I don't use this free time now to actually
develop some interest. What's to stop work, TV and hanging
out with my friends being my life? And the last
thing I want to do is be Dare I say basic?
You know the kind of chick that just works and
parties until she's in her late thirties, then finds out
that she doesn't have a personality when she can't do
(23:20):
that anymore. To top it all off, right now almost
everything is closed due to COVID, But there has to
be something that I can do expand my horizons. Help me, Dawn.
How do I expand what I like? Or am I
just creating a crisis out of nothing? Okay, hold on,
what do you want? There's a lot there. There is
a lot going on in this letter, and I guess
(23:43):
I'm just wondering what it is that you want. Um,
you're saying like, hey, Dawn, I'm uncomfortable right now. I'm
trying to find something to do. I want to be
proactive with my life. But then on the other hand,
you said that you're waiting for an internship with your
dad's friend to start. Um, you're waiting on that. Why
why aren't you going to look for something? Now? Here's
(24:04):
the thing. I just feel like I'm finding a lot
of complaints and the fact that you do have time,
get up and do something, keep doing something until you
find something you like. What you're just gonna stop? Now?
The only reason why I'm wondering because you're saying that, hey,
I want to do more, But then you're saying you don't.
Are you sure that this may not be deeper than
(24:25):
what it seems to be on phase value or surface
value rather, because I'm not sure what's gonna make you happy?
So what you're gonna busy doing work in an internship
for a job that you may not like. That I've
set you up for a situation to be in a
career that you don't like. You need to find what
it is that you enjoy. You know you're gonna die
one day. You know one that you will remember the
(24:46):
last person you loved and not know that that will
be the last person you loved. You will kiss somebody
that you love and not realize that would be the
last person that you are kissed. You will hold the hand,
you will listen to a song. You will eat a
meal that you will not realize is the mad live
as the meal that you will eat. Do you think
that you have time for doing something that you do
not love? Do you think that you have time for
(25:06):
not searching to find out what is you and what
makes you you? When we think about life and we
think about growing right nutrients, things need to feed us
to grow so we don't become robotic and just start functioning,
you don't want to get in the situation of just
waiting for this internship and you may not even love.
And now I can see if you said, Dawn, this
was my dream job. I'm going into internship with something
(25:29):
that I love. But you don't even know what you
want that you're gonna wait and settle for anything. Go
out there and keep trying different things. Listen to music,
get it to the conversation, figure out the language of
the things that you love. And that's just simply you
experience in life and being present and when something resonates
with you, when something that you find makes you pay attention,
move closer to it. You know. It reminds me of
(25:51):
when I spoke on this panel and it was entitled
Women in Media Amplifying Her Boys, and it was put
on by the d C Chapter of the National Black
NBA Association and the moderator Mr Anderson. She was talking
about how to hone into what it is that you
love and what it is that you want to do
if you're trying to figure out your path. And I'm
probably paraphrasing this a bit, but she talks about how
(26:14):
you need to find something that can annoy you, something
that you basically pay attention to the ideo screency so
much that it can cause an annoyance because you think
about it. If something doesn't matter, you don't mind it, right,
But if you're minding it. It must matter. It must
be something that catches your rye. It must be something
that catches your attention. Like even for myself, speech is
(26:36):
very important to me. So those that may not articulate themselves,
I have to own in. And it's like, Okay, I'm
pulling myself in because I love the art of speech.
I love I love the way it feels, I love
the the stories that you can convey, the emotions that
you can take people on. So what is your thing?
But you can only know unless you get out there.
(27:00):
You can't sit here and wait for somebody to come
and serve you are blade. If you can't, you better
get up and eat. So this whole idea of saying,
oh my gosh, I have to do everything now before
I get this job. What if you do not like
this internship, You're gonna be in the same situation of
unemployed and just sit there not doing anything. You actually
have the world is your oyster right now to just
(27:21):
go play. Because what I didn't hear you say is
that you're in the financial mind or must be blessed, yes,
because they're folks out here that are unemployed and they
don't have the option of being uh so bored that
they're chilling. They actually are trying to find money each
and every way. So how was it that you should
step up and figure it out what it is that
(27:43):
you love? And that just only takes you out there
being outspoken and having a conversation with others. If you
want to be you gotta do. Do you understand what
I'm saying. And also, I just want you to keep
in mind to uh this whole notion on waiting. You
can't do that. You know, that's the same thing that
I'm talking about. In the previous letter, the young woman
was like, Hey, I've been at this job for five years.
(28:06):
I just did this my project, and my job is
not giving me a raise. And it basically boiled down.
I said, girl, you're gonna have to get off the
clearance rack and go behind the glass where the valuables are.
That's the same for you. You're gonna have to take
time to curate yourself. You're gonna have to take time
to get to know yourself. The main thing that you
talked about saying is you want a party and hang
out with your friends. What are you running from? That's
(28:28):
what I said. Is this something that you're speaking from
services value because what are you running from? What is
important to you? Is it about the fact of being
surrounded by people having fun? Or is about finding your purpose?
Because I'm assuming because you wrote in here Vitamin D
is all about living life on purpose and for a purpose.
So you know how I was gonna bring it here
and then't like I'm coming out of left field. You
know what this situation is. So I have to ask
(28:49):
you what it is that you want? And two, are
you valuing yourself the way that you should? Because if
you are, you will understand that you have to take
time with yourself. If you are, you understand why it's
important to figure out what it is that you want.
If you are with yourself, you have to understand and
realize right now, at twenty four years old, that you
can't be a bystander in your life. It's called your
(29:09):
life for a reason. Be the star of your show,
be the star of your mo fee. It's your life.
What better person is to be than you? What better
person is to tell your story, to dictate your steps?
What better person than you to create your reality? What
better person than YouTube? Just be on full overflow, enjoy you,
(29:35):
expand your horizons by expanding yourself your mind to what's
new about always realizing that you're consistently growing. So when
you don't find it somewhere else, you go somewhere else.
When you don't find it somewhere else, you go somewhere else,
and you keep going because that's the journey of life,
and as you realize as you get older. Because you
are only twenty four. And I do not say that,
(29:56):
and I do not mean that in the condescending way.
I'm just saying that you're so young to have time
to discover, you still have time to take a chance.
I didn't hear you say that you have a mortgage.
I didn't hear you say that you have any children.
I didn't hear that you say that you have something
that could be holding you back. In fact, all I
see is opportunity in front of you. So don't just wait,
(30:17):
go after it, seize the day. Be the amazing unicorn
that you want to be in your life. Your life
is magical. You can create it. You just have to
take time to figure yourself out. And you can't give up.
So I understand you said, I've been an employee for
a while. Don't give up on yourself, keep figuring things out,
(30:39):
and I want you to do some inner work and
sit down with yourself and why you feel as though
you have to keep partying and always having no times
with your friends. I do understand you're young and you
want to have fun, but it was just interesting how
you said that you felt like you were gonna lose
out on that because my ways just have to figure
out what do you want? You got to find the
joy within, because if it was enough hanging out with
your friends, you wouldn't be concerned about all. I'm bored
(31:00):
and I can't find my interest because again, I think
we're all searching for that purpose. So understanding, if you
are searching that purpose, it's gonna call for you to
be loyal to yourself, and only to be loyal, you
have to know yourself to know what you're mean. Loyal too.
You feel me, and no, you can't look to me
to make your life interesting. You gotta find out with yourself.
(31:23):
You gotta discover. I don't know what you like, I
don't know how you like it, and our dog on
show don't know when you like it. But what I
can tell you is that you have the ability to
put one foot in front of the other, open your
mouth to discover it. Go on the journey in life.
As I always say my barber or former barber, Lewis
(31:44):
t Pole, he says, the journey is the experience, and
the experience is the journey. It's all in one. Everything
is exactly how it's supposed to be. Because you're worried
about missing out on all this time with your friends
and doing whoop? What about the joy that you're in
Whenever you're finding your purpose and feeling fulfilled, it's not
(32:05):
a miss out, it's only an added quality. And you're
also going to realize that the people that love you,
that are around you, they're gonna see that you flourish
and they're gonna want your join your happiness. So keep
going on and keep finding yourself because I promise who
you are at twenty four is not who you're gonna be.
Dang gonna show who you're not gonna be a thirty five.
(32:26):
And you must be out your mind if you think
you're gonna be the same person that's ext Come on
you hear what I'm saying. So show grace with yourself
and take note. Just like I told what the previous letter,
Get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass
where the valuables are. You know, when if you think
about it as a jewelry behind the glass, they usually
have some type of historical context. They've been graded with
(32:49):
a certain quality, they have a certain shine, There is
a certain placement they have. What's the placement of your life?
What does your pedigree say? What does your bio say?
What is the dash and your life going to say?
What is it going to mean? What does it feel like?
Does it feel why does it feel nice? Let me know,
(33:10):
you'll know when it does. And if you find yourself
in a situation of your feeling um discontent meant, you'll
realize that that's not it. So keep going every day
that you have breath in your lungs, keep going and
(33:30):
figure yourself out. Don't you give up on yourself. You
hear me. You're not gonna always have the right answers,
and you're not gonna feel like every resources within the
arms are each But because you have that longing and
because you got that beat in your chest, know that
purpose beats purpose, that's passionate. Can you dick it all? Right? Um?
(33:55):
That's it for the advice letters today Now you enjoyed them,
and you know I always say thank you so much
for writing in. Thank you for so much for just
being vulnerable, just opening yourself up. You know. Oftentimes, you know,
I find that we can all be self conscious and
not as confident to show who we are. But just
(34:16):
think of it, any type of wounds that we have.
And you talk about healing, right, So say, if you
got a scar on your lack, right, there's this open sore,
you know you have to take a band aid off
to air it out. Right, Vitamin did shedding, Mike, So
we can air some stuff out because we don't have
(34:37):
to hide. What do we say? What is fear of
false evidence appearing real? But if I can see it,
it can do nothing on me because I see it.
You're ready to see? Are you ready to see? You
said you got a vision. You got a vision because
(34:58):
you're listening because I told you want to get go.
Vitamin D is all about living life on purpose and
for a purpose. And guess what, you're still here. I'm
excited for you. Thank you for loving on yourself. Now,
if you would like to write end for some advice
on love, relationships, faith, career, success, a leything whatever. However,
(35:22):
or perhaps you would like to be a guest on
the show. I want to encourage you to email me
Vitamin D at Dawn day speaks dot com. I want
to hear from you, give us some ideas about topics.
And I also want to tell you um our YouTube
channel is up. Go to YouTube and search for Dawn
Day Speaks are You're gonna see all the interviews from
(35:43):
Vitamin D when I have my special guests. I'm telling
you it's riveted because if you haven't guess it, are
ready or if you can't tell, I'm giving you your
motherings and not just for performance. It's just who I am.
I just got to get it up. So check it out.
Show me some of and support because you know I'm
taking Invitamin D to the stars. The world will no
(36:06):
Vitamin D because you can't live your life without Vitamin DED.
What let's go down day. I'm in the business of
helping people make their dreams come true. I want that
for you. You've got greatness over your life, you got promise,
(36:28):
So let's live life on purpose and for a purpose.
All right, Okay, Well, I guess I'm a hat out
of here. I want to thank you again for investing
in my dreams, thank you for listening, and just thank
you on this journey. You see, we're developing, we're growing.
I want to give us special thanks to Prian. I
want to give us special thanks for m and I
couldn't tell y'all wouldn't be well. We all right now
(36:48):
without Jeremiah. I appreciate my team. Thank you so much,
l thank you so much. I love y'all. I'm taking
Vitamin D two stars. Okay. Now, if you want even
more Vitamin Z in your life, I want to encourage
you to follow me on all social media at Dawn
(37:10):
day Speaks, okay, and you've got to check on my
progress because you don't. My sister has laws over fifty pounds. Hi. Hey,
all right, I'm out of hero I love you, and
until next time, always remember that you are your greatest asset.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you may be.
Guess what you are tuned into the Vitamin D podcast
and what well, I'm your host, Dawn Day, here to
get you excited about your life so that you can
live life on purpose and for a purpose. You're worady,
(00:21):
now listen, if you're new, I want to say welcome, Come, come, come,
Heather Vitamin D. It's a point of my name, right.
You know you get Vitamin D from the sun. Well,
Dawn means the sun, and so I'm here to shed
light into your life. And I want to be clear,
Vitamin D I like to consider a multi vitamin for
your mind. And in this whole process of where we
shed light, that's shutting light on the good and the bead.
(00:44):
So basically we gotta keep it real because you can't
fear what you see, because what is fear? False evidence
appearing real? And if you want to be better and
if you want to do better, you got to see
better and what better way to see than what the
lights on? So are you ready? This does require for
you to look at yourself and to be out of
(01:04):
next with yourself. You don't what it really requires is
for you to communicate with yourself. I say the communication
is the key point because it's almost that whole idea
of where I talk about how you are your greatest
asset is where you know where you stand. You do
a check in and if you have no idea what
I mean by uh, the Life Bank account and you
(01:25):
being your greatest asset, well, think about any account that
you may have right, so you have like say, for example,
your checkings or your savings right and what you have
on account or your assets. Well, if you have your
Life Bank account and you are your greatest asset, it's
all about balancing this account because they're going to be
deposits and they're going to be withdrawals, and there are
(01:45):
things that are going to ask your life. There are
things going to be a liability and listen because life
and how it moves, that's the way it goes. But
the key is to keep the balance. You check in
with me. So along with in the light on this podcast,
I have UM I share inspirational insights with music lyrics
(02:07):
and also with celebrities and everyday people like you and me,
just a mode of how to live life better, how
to be better. And I also do something where I
like to splash and as I do something where I
talk about advice letters where I welcome listeners who um
want advice on love, relationships, career, um success, just anything
(02:28):
to email me at Vitamin D at dawn day Speaks
dot com. You got that Vitamin D at Dawn day
Speaks dot com. And then ever so often you know,
I crock open the Vitamin D email bag and I
don't read the letters. Now, this is strictly my opinion,
and like I told you with Vitamin Day, it's all
about shedding light on the good and the bad. So
(02:51):
that means I'm gonna keep it real with you. You
may not like it, but understand it's only so you
can be better and do better from my point of view.
And if you're writing in and I can only gettum
that you want to know what I think. At the
end of the day, remember this podcast is all about
you living your life on purpose and for a purpose,
(03:12):
because you know we're gonna die, right, I'm just saying
I don't know about you, but I'm not trying to
waste any time. You know, time is like your most
valuable corn. Once it's spent, you can't get it back.
It's gone forever. Be mindful with your time, mainly with
(03:33):
yourself and then with others. Oh gay, So on this episode,
I'm diving into my vitamin D email bag. Um, I'm
just excited to see what you'll got to say. So,
without further ado, it's time for your dose or should
I say doses a vitamin damin D right with me
(03:57):
and get excited about your All right, let's get to
this first letter subject, is she cheating? Dear Dawn, I'm
worried my wife is cheating on me, or at least
about to. So it was a bit of a back story.
We're both twenty seven and we've been married for eight years.
(04:17):
It's had its ups and downs, but lately it has
been more down than anything. My wife suffers from depression
and anxiety. I'm in the military, so she has had
to leave her hometown for quite some time. She visits
as often as she can, usually once a year at least. Um,
lately things have been hard. She feels like she doesn't
have a support system, no friends in the area we
(04:40):
are living in, and I have been going a lot
due to work. I try to be there as much
as I can via phone calls, and text, but it
doesn't seem to be enough, so we decided on a
plan she would move back home for six months to
be around her support system. We never said taking a
break or anything. This was for her mental health. WHOA.
(05:01):
At the beginning of this, she took a vacation to
San Diego, where we had lived previously. She loves the
area and we had a mutual friend there. A couple
of days after getting there, she started ghosting me. I
figured she was busy, so I waited to hear from her.
Three days go by and not even a text. So
I call him and she's with our mutual friend, a man.
(05:23):
I'll call Thomas and says she's busy and has to go.
We spoke for barely two minutes now about this friend.
Thomas and I were great friends while we were living there,
but ever since we left, he doesn't respond to my texts.
But a week before my wife's trip back home, they
begin talking a lot every day. Nothing intimate or anything,
(05:46):
but I know what men are like. Now I'm seeing
on his Instagram story that all of a sudden, he's
booked a private dinner cruise and my wife still isn't
answering my calls. I've always believed in the adage, where
they're smoked, they're as fire. So I'm freaking out. What
should I do? Sir? The first thing you need to
(06:09):
do is be real with yourself. Don't play yourself. You
gotta really trust your intuition. You know what this is.
You know, if you're not getting what you want at home,
or if you're not getting what you want, oftentimes people
look elsewhere. You know, your wife communicated with you that
she was unhappy, and I see how you did a
(06:32):
happy compromise of what you were saying, Hey, well, let's
make it so that you're able to go home and
be around your support system. Where's the thing. It sounds
like she was still saying that she needed more of you.
You are her partner, you are her made Now. Do
understand that you're working in the military and your job
(06:52):
is very demanding. But where your attention goals, that's where
things grow. And so your wife has to clear I'm
not happy here. You know, she doesn't feel like she's
growing in that area. So she you say, hey, she
went ahead and took a trip back to an area
where she loved San Diego, where she felt good and
(07:15):
there was a friend. And this friend you say, let's
call him Thomas, hasn't communicated with you at all. Now
your wife, your own wife, who you've been married to
for eight years, not one or two, not three I
said age, And regardless of the time, your wife isn't
(07:36):
responding to your calls. Three days and you haven't heard
from your life partner, somebody that you made a commitment to,
somebody that you said that you love so much that
I want to spend the rest of my life with
somebody that you communicated and you are on this wavelength
of love with has not communicating with you. You know,
(08:00):
as I talk about relationships and I talk about relationships
with self, see how you are communicating with yourself and
honest with yourself is how you would treat your relationship
with your partner. How you do anything is how you'll
do everything. And I can tell even about what you're
saying of having to do the person who you've dedicating
your entire life too to say, hey I gotta text
(08:21):
you and I can't spend time with you, Well, what
does that say about the relationship? So when you say, hey,
what should I do? Well, One, you need to communicate
with your wife, and to be honest with yourself about
what the possibility of something that is going on. Now,
the question is when you find out what it seems
the obvious and I don't want to put that on there,
but I'm just saying, all of a sudden, they're communicating.
(08:43):
All of a sudden, this single man is now having
a romantic dinner and coincidentally enough, your wife is out
there and she's not responding to you. It's interesting how
this entire time, how you know she's talking about how
she's unhappy in the relationship, whether that be where she
is located, and also not filling the support. She's getting
(09:06):
it from someone else, someone else that does have the time,
someone else that is paying attention. Now doesn't mean that
you don't love her, No, I'm not saying that you
don't love her. But what I'm saying is that you're
not giving her what she needs. And if you're not
giving her what she needs, do you see how the
communication has broken? Do you see what's happening? There's a disconnect?
(09:29):
But again, what do you do when you find out?
That's the real question, because this is what we're going
to require you to take some time and to really
see eye to eye and if this is are you
and your partner growing on the same level. And that's
the whole thing that I was saying about, making sure
you communicate with yourself and really do a check in
to see what it is that you really want. Do
you want this career? Do you want your wife now?
(09:52):
Because of your wife, and I want to use this
term loosely, her illnesses um dealing with depression and dealing
with anxiety that requires a different level of attention that
she needs. She needs that and you can't give her that.
So what happens or do you false her for going
outside or going elsewhere? Because at what point did the
(10:15):
communication break down that you can go more than one
day without speaking to your wife. Does it just happen
overnight on just this one trip. You know you probably
would have sent out the search more or something like that.
So something leads me to say that perhaps this is
not the first time that she's gone without answering your calls.
Because if you are used to talking to somebody very frequently,
(10:36):
like you said, you've been making sure you text and call.
She hasn't responded in three days seventy two hours, and
you didn't make sure that you did a wellness check.
What's that about? Now? Is this the whole situation that
you may be in denial? Because again she said what
she needs. You basically said, hey, I'm gonna do my
(10:57):
best of what I can give you. But clearly that
isn't enough because she's flourishing in the area and around
people that can give her attention. So now you have
to ask yourself, how do you want to move forward?
What should you do? You need to communicate with your
wife because clearly it's evident seventy two hours and she
hasn't replied or hasn't called you back, there's a breakdown
(11:17):
and communication. That's the first thing you need to do
is talk to your wife. And you guys need to
do a check in on where you all right now
because who you married it years ago may not be
the same person she is to Chang. Doesn't mean that
she never loved you. No, I'm not saying that. It
doesn't mean she never loved you or she still doesn't
love you. But people change, just like the seasons, and
(11:40):
you have to remain or to think like, are you
that constant what happened? So I would recommend you definitely UM,
talk to your wife. I would say, brace yourself because
it seems as though where the smoke is that there
is fire and that she is probably um parlaying and
say in diego on some type of beach, you know,
(12:02):
just parlaying. But yeah, you know, it's never easy. But
I think love conquers all. And what it sounds like
if she needs some attention and another thing, you might
not let your wife go nowhere with no grown man
another man. That's not true. UM, So give me a
(12:24):
follow up on what happens. And once you find out,
I mainly want to know what you are going to
do from here. Are you going to communicate because based
on what I'm reading, that's some area that you could
do more work in. Okay, all right, let's go on
to the next letter subject. Am I being undervalued? Dear Dawn.
(12:47):
I don't feel respected in my place of work. I'm
twenty eight and just trying to climb the corporate ladder
to a CE suite gig that I can just jump
start a path towards wealth. I've been at this company
for the last five years and have seen barely any
job growth in my field. It's not uncommonacy promotions to
middle management, and that time I was worried that I
wasn't putting in my best, you know, like the guys
(13:09):
at the top saw me as somebody to keep around.
But after a recent project proposal of mind turned out
to be a huge success and I was getting praised
from my supervisors, I knew that at least they valued
my ideas. When I started to ask around about what
people were getting paid, I made friends with someone in
HR early, which has paid off many times. I came
(13:30):
to the conclusion that the company has been low balling
me when it comes to raises the last few years.
To add insult to injury, someone who had gotten hired
after me was promoted to a supervisor position before me.
I don't mean to disparage my colleague, but I know
for a fact that I've contributed more to the team
than them, and I have shown up. This knowledge is
starting to take a tone on my health. I can't sleep,
(13:53):
I can't work effectively knowing that these people don't value me. Dawn,
Should I just go in and ask for a raise?
Could I even find a new job in this market?
Thank you for writing in. I think anyone that has
been in the workforce has definitely felt what you have
your writing in about. And you will hear me say
(14:16):
time and time again, you have to teach people how
to treat you. You have to get off the sales
rack and get behind the glass where the valuables are.
So my question is to you, what's your worth? How
much do you value yourself? Now? The reason why I'm
(14:37):
asking you that is that it sounds like you're somebody
who's ambitious. In fact, you said the reason why you
were going after this job and trying to cryme the
corporate ladder is because you want to work towards a
path to success, to wealth. So what you deem as
happiness to get to your level of points, well, when
we talk about success, you know, it's it's this constant movement,
(14:59):
it's this journ. Well, for the past or five years,
you have been stuck or in the same position. Now
it's starting to take a tone in your health. Is
it because you've just found out that other people are
making more money or is the fact that you aren't growing?
Which one is it? Because if you're gonna consistently look
at your neighbor's yard, well heck, it's always gonna look
(15:21):
greener over there. But again the question is is how
much do you value yourself? How long do you sit
there in that position? Now? You said on should I
just go in there and ask for a raise? Do
you deserve the raise? How much do you better yourself?
If you know that you've been doing a great job,
why wouldn't you ask for it? If you can't see
(15:43):
the worth in yourself, how and why would you expect
somebody else to. You have to know what you're bringing
to the table. If you don't stand for yourself, you
will fall for anything. And look at yourself. You've been
in the same situation for five It's not it's not
about whether or not you can do the work. You
just said that you just did this bomb project, but
(16:06):
yet there hasn't been a change in your salary, you
having received any type of promotion. So then I have
to ask you what do you want? You're asking me
what you should do. I have to ask you what
you want because I'm getting a little confused right now,
Like you're saying, I want to be successful. I want
(16:27):
to build my path towards success and wealth. Yet you
don't know if you should go in there and ask
for raids? Close miles. Don't get fed. You're trying to eat.
Open your mouth. You gotta say something for somebody to
give you something to chew. If i'm your your company,
your business, why would I just volunteerly give you more
(16:48):
money if you're not asking for it. M hmm. You
can't expect somebody to see your value in your worth.
You have to dictate that. That's what I said. Get
off the clearance rack and get behind glass where the
valuables are. You need to go in there and show
your numbers. You need to go in there and let
them know how much you value yourself. You're gonna have
(17:09):
to bet on yourself. Are you as good as you
claim to? Because you know when people are successful, when
people are well, they're ambitious. It's about growth, it's about movement. Well, listen,
you've been stuck not one, not to nothing. You're not
for but five years. And you hear me say this also,
often how you do anything is how you'll do everything.
(17:33):
You're asking for a microphone, But you have nothing to
say when you talk about having um a C suite
level position, that's a leader, that's somebody that can take charge.
That's somebody that can dictate orders. That's somebody that exudes confidence,
and right now I see that there's not that same
(17:54):
confidence you have in yourself because when you know your worth,
you know what you're asking for because you know what's
at stake. But guess what, we all start from somewhere.
The fact that you're writing in, the fact that you're asking,
that means the conversation is happening. And the previous letter
I had to say, Hey, what happened to the check in?
What's what you're doing the check in? So we're not
(18:16):
gonna beat up on that area, but we are going
to cut on the light of what it is that
we see because now it's time. What are you gonna
do from here? It's not too late because you're still
employed by the company. It's not too late because you're
still progressing, you're still moving forward. Now the only question
is going to be are you're going to have to pivot?
Because if they are not willing to give you what
you want, are you willing to go out there and
(18:36):
take a chance on yourself? How much do you believe
in yourself? What do you think the value of yourself? Is?
Only you can answer that. I can't tell you that.
But what I can charge you to think about within
yourself is that how much do you value yourself? What
do you think you're worth? Is so you just thought that, Uh,
(18:58):
the person that got hired after you just sat there. Wait,
did it sound like they were ambitious and they went
up to the table so they can get fat. And
it's not so much as throwing someone else under the table.
It's all about you scooping up to the table so
that you can eat. People just asking for you to
show up, for you to sit in your throne. And
that's what we talk about authority and dominion over your life.
(19:21):
Because then you asked the next thing, you said, could
I even find a new job in this market? What
do you want? You have to have that belief in
yourself when you want to be successful, when you want
to make it, when you want to grow. Even when
you look at a plant right outside of the garden
and the grass, when you look at a tree, they
(19:43):
rise up to the light, they stretch, they grow, what
do you want? Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes you're
gonna have to take a chance, because let me ask
you this. If you go out to them and he say,
we don't have the funds. Right now we can't pay you.
(20:04):
Are you willing to walk away? Are you willing to
walk in your truth? And right now your truth says
that you aren't being paid your worth? So are you
gonna dictate it? Or are you gonna sit another five
and fifteen twenty years in the same position you are
right now being low palt because you're allowing them to
dictate you. You know, when I was eighth grade, I
(20:26):
shout out to Ms. Karma rest in peace. I learned
this quote, I make myself what I am. Do you
understand that what that means and what that says? You
have the ability to create the life that you want.
It's in your hands. You can speak it over your life.
(20:48):
And I guess I'm so passionate about you like doing.
All I did was just asking about what should I
do with this job? But remember how you do anything
is how you'll do everything. And the fact that we're
talking about your value, We're talking about your value and
your worth. How many years you spent on the job,
you'res curating it, years making it and cultivating your own
years of learning how to talk to people, years of
(21:10):
learning how to be consistent, years of knowing the language,
the fabric, the threatening, the material, the essence of this company.
So what you're gonna do? Boom, You're gonna do what
you need to do or not? So you said, Dawn,
should I just go and ask for a race? Hey? Can? Yeah?
(21:30):
You need to go in here and ask for the raising,
get your money? Are you trying to be about that
life or at all? Going there and dictate your worth?
And you have to believe so much in yourself that
if they say they can't do it, you're gonna have
to just do a pivot and go somewhere else. Because
the right job for you and the right moment for you,
(21:53):
it's gonna fit and it's gonna be right. That's how
you'll know. Okay, baby, gonta get your money? Hey, all right,
let's go on to the next letter subject help me
make my life interesting and Dear Dawn, I have a
twenty four year old woman living in Fresno, and I
(22:15):
am slowly finding out I am the most boring person alive.
All I do for fun is watch TV and go
out with my friends. Nothing else is interesting to me,
not my books and my favorite games, not any new movies,
not discovering hobbies. I sometimes feel like I just have
to have fun and do nothing else. The situation has
me feeling empty on the inside. What can I do
(22:37):
to find more things to like? I mean, I used
to walk almost daily, but it only lasted a month
because I got a foot injury. I read a book
a while back on the value of forming good habits.
I know that it takes time, which I have a
lot of. I'm currently unemployed and waiting for an internship
with my dad's friend to start. I figured that when
that picks up, I'll be too busy to actually do something.
(22:58):
So I sort of feel like there's this ticking clock
if I don't use this free time now to actually
develop some interest. What's to stop work, TV and hanging
out with my friends being my life? And the last
thing I want to do is be Dare I say basic?
You know the kind of chick that just works and
parties until she's in her late thirties, then finds out
that she doesn't have a personality when she can't do
(23:20):
that anymore. To top it all off, right now almost
everything is closed due to COVID, But there has to
be something that I can do expand my horizons. Help me, Dawn.
How do I expand what I like? Or am I
just creating a crisis out of nothing? Okay, hold on,
what do you want? There's a lot there. There is
a lot going on in this letter, and I guess
(23:43):
I'm just wondering what it is that you want. Um,
you're saying like, hey, Dawn, I'm uncomfortable right now. I'm
trying to find something to do. I want to be
proactive with my life. But then on the other hand,
you said that you're waiting for an internship with your
dad's friend to start. Um, you're waiting on that. Why
why aren't you going to look for something? Now? Here's
(24:04):
the thing. I just feel like I'm finding a lot
of complaints and the fact that you do have time,
get up and do something, keep doing something until you
find something you like. What you're just gonna stop? Now?
The only reason why I'm wondering because you're saying that, hey,
I want to do more, But then you're saying you don't.
Are you sure that this may not be deeper than
(24:25):
what it seems to be on phase value or surface
value rather, because I'm not sure what's gonna make you happy?
So what you're gonna busy doing work in an internship
for a job that you may not like. That I've
set you up for a situation to be in a
career that you don't like. You need to find what
it is that you enjoy. You know you're gonna die
one day. You know one that you will remember the
(24:46):
last person you loved and not know that that will
be the last person you loved. You will kiss somebody
that you love and not realize that would be the
last person that you are kissed. You will hold the hand,
you will listen to a song. You will eat a
meal that you will not realize is the mad live
as the meal that you will eat. Do you think
that you have time for doing something that you do
not love? Do you think that you have time for
(25:06):
not searching to find out what is you and what
makes you you? When we think about life and we
think about growing right nutrients, things need to feed us
to grow so we don't become robotic and just start functioning,
you don't want to get in the situation of just
waiting for this internship and you may not even love.
And now I can see if you said, Dawn, this
was my dream job. I'm going into internship with something
(25:29):
that I love. But you don't even know what you
want that you're gonna wait and settle for anything. Go
out there and keep trying different things. Listen to music,
get it to the conversation, figure out the language of
the things that you love. And that's just simply you
experience in life and being present and when something resonates
with you, when something that you find makes you pay attention,
move closer to it. You know. It reminds me of
(25:51):
when I spoke on this panel and it was entitled
Women in Media Amplifying Her Boys, and it was put
on by the d C Chapter of the National Black
NBA Association and the moderator Mr Anderson. She was talking
about how to hone into what it is that you
love and what it is that you want to do
if you're trying to figure out your path. And I'm
probably paraphrasing this a bit, but she talks about how
(26:14):
you need to find something that can annoy you, something
that you basically pay attention to the ideo screency so
much that it can cause an annoyance because you think
about it. If something doesn't matter, you don't mind it, right,
But if you're minding it. It must matter. It must
be something that catches your rye. It must be something
that catches your attention. Like even for myself, speech is
(26:36):
very important to me. So those that may not articulate themselves,
I have to own in. And it's like, Okay, I'm
pulling myself in because I love the art of speech.
I love I love the way it feels, I love
the the stories that you can convey, the emotions that
you can take people on. So what is your thing?
But you can only know unless you get out there.
(27:00):
You can't sit here and wait for somebody to come
and serve you are blade. If you can't, you better
get up and eat. So this whole idea of saying,
oh my gosh, I have to do everything now before
I get this job. What if you do not like
this internship, You're gonna be in the same situation of
unemployed and just sit there not doing anything. You actually
have the world is your oyster right now to just
(27:21):
go play. Because what I didn't hear you say is
that you're in the financial mind or must be blessed, yes,
because they're folks out here that are unemployed and they
don't have the option of being uh so bored that
they're chilling. They actually are trying to find money each
and every way. So how was it that you should
step up and figure it out what it is that
(27:43):
you love? And that just only takes you out there
being outspoken and having a conversation with others. If you
want to be you gotta do. Do you understand what
I'm saying. And also, I just want you to keep
in mind to uh this whole notion on waiting. You
can't do that. You know, that's the same thing that
I'm talking about. In the previous letter, the young woman
was like, Hey, I've been at this job for five years.
(28:06):
I just did this my project, and my job is
not giving me a raise. And it basically boiled down.
I said, girl, you're gonna have to get off the
clearance rack and go behind the glass where the valuables are.
That's the same for you. You're gonna have to take
time to curate yourself. You're gonna have to take time
to get to know yourself. The main thing that you
talked about saying is you want a party and hang
out with your friends. What are you running from? That's
(28:28):
what I said. Is this something that you're speaking from
services value because what are you running from? What is
important to you? Is it about the fact of being
surrounded by people having fun? Or is about finding your purpose?
Because I'm assuming because you wrote in here Vitamin D
is all about living life on purpose and for a purpose.
So you know how I was gonna bring it here
and then't like I'm coming out of left field. You
know what this situation is. So I have to ask
(28:49):
you what it is that you want? And two, are
you valuing yourself the way that you should? Because if
you are, you will understand that you have to take
time with yourself. If you are, you understand why it's
important to figure out what it is that you want.
If you are with yourself, you have to understand and
realize right now, at twenty four years old, that you
can't be a bystander in your life. It's called your
(29:09):
life for a reason. Be the star of your show,
be the star of your mo fee. It's your life.
What better person is to be than you? What better
person is to tell your story, to dictate your steps?
What better person than you to create your reality? What
better person than YouTube? Just be on full overflow, enjoy you,
(29:35):
expand your horizons by expanding yourself your mind to what's
new about always realizing that you're consistently growing. So when
you don't find it somewhere else, you go somewhere else.
When you don't find it somewhere else, you go somewhere else,
and you keep going because that's the journey of life,
and as you realize as you get older. Because you
are only twenty four. And I do not say that,
(29:56):
and I do not mean that in the condescending way.
I'm just saying that you're so young to have time
to discover, you still have time to take a chance.
I didn't hear you say that you have a mortgage.
I didn't hear you say that you have any children.
I didn't hear that you say that you have something
that could be holding you back. In fact, all I
see is opportunity in front of you. So don't just wait,
(30:17):
go after it, seize the day. Be the amazing unicorn
that you want to be in your life. Your life
is magical. You can create it. You just have to
take time to figure yourself out. And you can't give up.
So I understand you said, I've been an employee for
a while. Don't give up on yourself, keep figuring things out,
(30:39):
and I want you to do some inner work and
sit down with yourself and why you feel as though
you have to keep partying and always having no times
with your friends. I do understand you're young and you
want to have fun, but it was just interesting how
you said that you felt like you were gonna lose
out on that because my ways just have to figure
out what do you want? You got to find the
joy within, because if it was enough hanging out with
your friends, you wouldn't be concerned about all. I'm bored
(31:00):
and I can't find my interest because again, I think
we're all searching for that purpose. So understanding, if you
are searching that purpose, it's gonna call for you to
be loyal to yourself, and only to be loyal, you
have to know yourself to know what you're mean. Loyal too.
You feel me, and no, you can't look to me
to make your life interesting. You gotta find out with yourself.
(31:23):
You gotta discover. I don't know what you like, I
don't know how you like it, and our dog on
show don't know when you like it. But what I
can tell you is that you have the ability to
put one foot in front of the other, open your
mouth to discover it. Go on the journey in life.
As I always say my barber or former barber, Lewis
(31:44):
t Pole, he says, the journey is the experience, and
the experience is the journey. It's all in one. Everything
is exactly how it's supposed to be. Because you're worried
about missing out on all this time with your friends
and doing whoop? What about the joy that you're in
Whenever you're finding your purpose and feeling fulfilled, it's not
(32:05):
a miss out, it's only an added quality. And you're
also going to realize that the people that love you,
that are around you, they're gonna see that you flourish
and they're gonna want your join your happiness. So keep
going on and keep finding yourself because I promise who
you are at twenty four is not who you're gonna be.
Dang gonna show who you're not gonna be a thirty five.
(32:26):
And you must be out your mind if you think
you're gonna be the same person that's ext Come on
you hear what I'm saying. So show grace with yourself
and take note. Just like I told what the previous letter,
Get off the clearance rack and get behind the glass
where the valuables are. You know, when if you think
about it as a jewelry behind the glass, they usually
have some type of historical context. They've been graded with
(32:49):
a certain quality, they have a certain shine, There is
a certain placement they have. What's the placement of your life?
What does your pedigree say? What does your bio say?
What is the dash and your life going to say?
What is it going to mean? What does it feel like?
Does it feel why does it feel nice? Let me know,
(33:10):
you'll know when it does. And if you find yourself
in a situation of your feeling um discontent meant, you'll
realize that that's not it. So keep going every day
that you have breath in your lungs, keep going and
(33:30):
figure yourself out. Don't you give up on yourself. You
hear me. You're not gonna always have the right answers,
and you're not gonna feel like every resources within the
arms are each But because you have that longing and
because you got that beat in your chest, know that
purpose beats purpose, that's passionate. Can you dick it all? Right? Um?
(33:55):
That's it for the advice letters today Now you enjoyed them,
and you know I always say thank you so much
for writing in. Thank you for so much for just
being vulnerable, just opening yourself up. You know. Oftentimes, you know,
I find that we can all be self conscious and
not as confident to show who we are. But just
(34:16):
think of it, any type of wounds that we have.
And you talk about healing, right, So say, if you
got a scar on your lack, right, there's this open sore,
you know you have to take a band aid off
to air it out. Right, Vitamin did shedding, Mike, So
we can air some stuff out because we don't have
(34:37):
to hide. What do we say? What is fear of
false evidence appearing real? But if I can see it,
it can do nothing on me because I see it.
You're ready to see? Are you ready to see? You
said you got a vision. You got a vision because
(34:58):
you're listening because I told you want to get go.
Vitamin D is all about living life on purpose and
for a purpose. And guess what, you're still here. I'm
excited for you. Thank you for loving on yourself. Now,
if you would like to write end for some advice
on love, relationships, faith, career, success, a leything whatever. However,
(35:22):
or perhaps you would like to be a guest on
the show. I want to encourage you to email me
Vitamin D at Dawn day speaks dot com. I want
to hear from you, give us some ideas about topics.
And I also want to tell you um our YouTube
channel is up. Go to YouTube and search for Dawn
Day Speaks are You're gonna see all the interviews from
(35:43):
Vitamin D when I have my special guests. I'm telling
you it's riveted because if you haven't guess it, are
ready or if you can't tell, I'm giving you your
motherings and not just for performance. It's just who I am.
I just got to get it up. So check it out.
Show me some of and support because you know I'm
taking Invitamin D to the stars. The world will no
(36:06):
Vitamin D because you can't live your life without Vitamin DED.
What let's go down day. I'm in the business of
helping people make their dreams come true. I want that
for you. You've got greatness over your life, you got promise,
(36:28):
So let's live life on purpose and for a purpose.
All right, Okay, Well, I guess I'm a hat out
of here. I want to thank you again for investing
in my dreams, thank you for listening, and just thank
you on this journey. You see, we're developing, we're growing.
I want to give us special thanks to Prian. I
want to give us special thanks for m and I
couldn't tell y'all wouldn't be well. We all right now
(36:48):
without Jeremiah. I appreciate my team. Thank you so much,
l thank you so much. I love y'all. I'm taking
Vitamin D two stars. Okay. Now, if you want even
more Vitamin Z in your life, I want to encourage
you to follow me on all social media at Dawn
(37:10):
day Speaks, okay, and you've got to check on my
progress because you don't. My sister has laws over fifty pounds. Hi. Hey,
all right, I'm out of hero I love you, and
until next time, always remember that you are your greatest asset.
Host
Dawn Dai
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