Joi-Lin Hunt on Surviving Financial Abuse, Lawsuit With Ex & Coaching Women to Win in Business+More
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
That this way up with Angela Yee.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I feel like I did a whole interview because I've
been talking to this woman. But it's a Wealth Wednesday.
Of course, my partner, Stacy Tisdaily is here with me.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Happy Wealth Wednesdays. Everybody who couldn't talk to this amazing
woman that you'll all about.
Speaker 4 (00:16):
To hear few Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
We're really excited. We have a Joy Hunt here today
and she is the founder at see you at the
Bank University Business Group. Serial entrepreneur, like crazy, You're in hair,
You're in hair extensions, You're in auto, you're in everything,
tax pro jim fitness, business coaching. How does somebody who
starts out as a lawyer see all these business opportunities.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I don't like to look at titles, so I'm looking
like where is the money? Where do I see an
opportunity and that's where I go. So I'm not really
big on titles for having a position on like what
is the best opportunity and then that's where I'm going.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
That's a hard thing for some people to see because
I feel like structure is so important too, right, Like
you might see something that is good, like I had
a hairstore before and it worked for a little while
until it didn't. But it also is being able to
like get the right people in position to run things.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
So how difficult is that?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Because sometimes if you can't be there because you have
so much going on, how hard is it to find
a team and how did you do that?
Speaker 4 (01:19):
It's very hard to find a team. So it's hard
to find someone who's gonna work like you and who's
going to keep your same culture, your same values, your
same system. So you're in the beginning. You're gonna have
to be there. And that's kind of the answer that
people I want to start a business and hire someone,
they're gonna steal from you. They gonna not gonna run
it right, They're gonna run into the ground. So you
(01:41):
have to be there, and then you have to try
to find someone to duplicate you if you want to
scale it right.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
That's important because I've had like some of tragic business
partner stories and even just aside from that, also people
who can not run the business with the same type
of way that you would like, say, they have a
nasty personality, but that's not how you want your business
to be perceived. Like you're not going to come in
here and the person is rude and nasty, and then
(02:08):
you're like, dang, that's a reflection on me.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Correct of your brand? Correct?
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So what was that first business that you did.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
My very first business was my law practice. I quit
working for a law firm when asked a protection and
I went started the Hunt Law Group.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And they know, you had a lot of business success
with your partner, and then you really kind of went
through it personally and that's kind of led you to
change everything and now you've just built these amazing franchises
and everything else. Can you tell us a little bit
about that personal story?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Sure? So three years ago, I was in a toxic
marriage ten years and it turned abusive and I was like,
you know, a girl, you you need to leave, you know,
you just need to leave. And so he just was
my person. So left. Three weeks later, we're still working together,
like just going through a divorce. And then he shot
at me at our dealership, what in front of our son,
(03:04):
and I had to just pack up and move to
Florida because my brother wasn't Orlando. So I got to Orlando.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
And then a month later he took all the money
out of the accounts, lock me off our businesses, and
so February of twenty twenty two, my mom paid my rent. Dang. Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
We talked about this a little bit, and we talked
about how things like not that it was a big
blown up case of it, but domestic violence cases, how
most ninety nine percent of them actually start in financial abuse. Correct,
And you were really in a financially abusive relationship.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
So when you're with a controlling person, you don't see
it in the beginning, right, And then slowly, but surely,
over time, I would notice bank accounts I don't have
access to, or the cars I have access to have
to have different amounts than what he has access yet
a lower limit. And then when I when I would
(03:57):
when I would bring it up, he would, he would
he was witch it. But then he would switch every
time I had a card, that limit would be smaller.
And then as it got later, no like ray, try
to voice my opinion, then that's when he'll throw things,
start yelling, And so that was whenever he got violent,
I will then just be quiet cause I don't wanna
have any kind of confrontation. And so but over time
(04:20):
it's like, well this is a pattern, like and I
keep wanting him to change versus girl, you need to
remove yourself from the situation. So financial abuse is real.
By the time the woman realized she is being financially abused,
I think it's too late. They've already moved things around,
or you're already stuck. Maybe you're a stay at home
mom and you don't have your own income. So for me,
(04:42):
he's just I'm gonna block you from your income. So
now I gotta start all the way back over.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You have to come back. Sorry, I was just gonna
say you have to come back and visit us. In October,
we always have Ken Pentago from the National Network to
End Domestic Violence, Yeah, to talk about financial abuse. And
just before we leave this top, what would you tell
women who find themselves in this situation.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
I would say, Number one, don't say anything to your abuser.
He's only gonna make things worse. You need to go
get a plan so you can't just leave, because if
you just leave abruptly. Number one, you probably don't have
money to leave. Number Two, you don't want to like
take them off. You want to have a plan. Don't
tell the plan to anyone except to a close person
that you know that may mean you may have to
(05:24):
go get a job or you know, get a certificate
in real estate, like go actually start earning some money,
because the second you leave is gonna be lights out.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
You gotta be prepared.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I appreciate you for sharing that because I see so
many times women who are in situations and people kind
of act like, well, why didn't she just leave? Well,
you stayed and he did X, Y and ZD when
you saw what was going on. But it's not as
simple as saying what he said, what did he put
his hands on me?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I'm out?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Normally it does not happen that way, correct, And it
also mentally can break you down where you start, and
like you said, you get separate right there from people
close to you.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
A lot of times, like you're sometimes you don't even
want to tell people.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You're ashamed of it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
You feel like it's your faults.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
They isolate you, so you know, no no real friends
because you're isolated, right, And then a lot of times
you don't want to see the truth because you don't
want to admit that I was in this, like no,
it can't be this. A lot of times there's gonna
be we are tied together. So I have a my
in laws live with me, my sons, having got this
(06:27):
big old house, got all these deals like do I
just leave? So it's kind of hard and if you
don't know how to put yourself first, which I was,
I was. I was the person that's going to take
care everyone else except for Joy. So I officially had
to say I'm gonna put me first. But it is
embarrassing to talk about it, like you're you smart? How
did you get caught from? That's like, girl, I did
I did right?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And you're not alone, Like it's so many smart women
and so many strong.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You're here right here for three years.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Yeah, it's it's it's a lot. It's a lot, and
I think women are ashamed of it. And so I
wanted to make sure that once I healed that I
spoke up because a lot of women don't want to
speak up or they think they're the only ones. And
I want people to understand, Hey, it's not your fault
because the person that you got with, they were totally
(07:16):
different than the person you see now. The mask is
all the way off now, But in the beginning, everything
was plotted and planned. They knew exactly how to push
your buttons to get you to fall for them, and
then it's just lights out.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
When you and I spoke, you said, one of the
things you're a phenomenal business coach, and one of the
things that you coach people is use your personal story,
and your business talks about that.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
So I believe that your test is your testimony. And
so if whatever you have gone through, that's what makes
you you, and that's what makes you unique, and you
want to stand on that not be ashamed of that.
So if you were raped, if you were home, if
whatever it is, embrace that and then share your story
of how you overcame it. And that's gonna one make
(08:03):
you unique. It's your story, and you're gonna also be
relatable to other people, and that's how you find your tribe.
When you're quiet, no one knows you. So I actually
just I posted a post about a woman who had
a restraining order and then a week later the husband
came and killed her, and I just said, hey, ladies,
and if whenever the abuse starts, it's not going to
(08:23):
get better, because I kept thinking it's gonna get better,
it's not changed. And then someone hopped in the comments,
oh you wouldn't know, and I was like, oh, I
got time today, baby, I do no no, no, no, no, no,
no no no no. And then once I just spoke
like a little bit of my story, people kept being,
oh my gosh, that happened to me. I totally understand.
I was like, whoa, there's more people like this, So
(08:45):
let me. Let me be more vocal, because so I
can one attract my tribe, let them know, Hey, you're
not alone. Number two, your abuser wants you to be caught.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It's empowering to be able to tell you a story.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
What can he do about it?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Because they count on you to not want they know
what's going on.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
They want you just to die off and you know,
go on the sunset and you know, not live your
best life. And it's like, no, I'm going to speak
up about what I endure, but more importantly, how I
overcame and forget what I did, what I went through,
How I overcame it, and so whatever you're going through
you can overcome.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Also, So let's follow your journey. You said you lived
in Houston, and then but you're from La. From LA,
You're from Lave. You moved to Orlando from Houston. Okay,
So when did you move to Orlando?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
December of twenty twenty one?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Okay, Okay, I'm just trying to get okay, So when
you went to Orlando, what happened there? What businesses were
you going to Orlando for?
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I was I was shot at November of twenty twenty one. Okay,
So I was going to Orlando to get away, okay
from my husband. I was still working for our business
from home. They're thinking I'm working from home in Houston
because I had moved out the house by that time.
But I actually have moved to Florida. They didn't know, okay.
And then about thirty days later is when he took
(10:03):
all the money out. So everything is dealing with control.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And then legally there wasn't anything you could do about that.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
So rein litigation right now?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay, Okay, good.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
There are no there's not much legal support at all.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
So here's the thing with the legal system, never one.
It costs money. So whenever they don't follow on order,
it costs you money to enforce it. Whenever you want
to file an action, it costs. That's another way of control.
So I'm going to drain your resources so that you
can no longer fight. So that's why I'm so adamant.
I'm giving so much free game on my page because
(10:36):
if you are in that tight situation, girl, just go
to my page. Get you a little business, sell a
little digital product, get the maternity fees, because it's going
to cost you money just to get out of the
situation that you're in. A lot of times why someone
can't leave, they don't have the resources to leave.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
So in addition to being part of your tribe, what
are some of the other things you teach entrepreneurs who
come for your coaching business?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Teaching number one, how to structure your business to make
sure that your assets are protected by layering multiple things
so parent companies, holding companies trust those kinds of things.
I teach entrepreneurs how to get free money for their
business with business grants.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
We would need that.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Wait, back up, back up, free money, free money.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So so many grants available that I don't know how
to access them.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Correct, Like right now, Progressive has a fifty thousand dollars
commercial grant. So you want to get a car for
your business, They're giving you fifty thousand dollars. So a
lot of times business owners are going to take on
all this debt, credit cards, lines of credit loans just
to get the business open, not realizing getting it open
is just one step. Now we have to get this
bad boy going. We got to get clients coming in,
(11:41):
we gotta have inventory.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
It don't cost money.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
And so when you exhaust all your resources and going
to debt, my analogy is that's the monkey around your neck.
That's that stress, because now you got to get out
of that. So I want to teach entrepreneurs how to
get free money for their business to start scale and
grow their business.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
What's great about grants is that you don't have to
pay them back, correct and so not alone. And actually
Childs who introduced me to you, was like, you need
to talk to her to get some grants to be
your business. Because sometimes I also feel like we just
finance everything ourselves. And I think when it comes to
being a black woman business owner, that's kind of how
we are taught to do it, because it's harder to
(12:18):
access capital to be able to get that infusion into
your business. Sometimes you don't want to give up a
piece of your business to get an investor. You don't
want to take on even more debts, so you're just
basically like working or coming up with money to invest
back into your business when you can actually apply for
these grants that you would be quite eligible for it correct.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
And they're not that. I mean, we recommend everyone do
it with someone like joy and it's just so helpful.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Sometimes it's hard to Also the process of even applying
for grants can be overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Some of it is. And then I was opening a
couple the other day, I'm like, oh, they're only asking
your fust questions on your phone.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
A lot of times. A lot of times people think
it's so complicated they don't even mind. Like there's a
Galaxy grant right now for three thousand foundred dollar or
it has three questions your name, email, zip code, sorry,
and your gender.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Okay, now you send text that to me when we're done, And.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
It's like you can. You can apply the business grants.
Most of the applications are going to be online. They're
super simple to fill out. I have a business Grant
Bunnle that breaks down how to do the application. So
it's like I say, apply for five to ten grants
every single month to increase your chances of winning. It's
free money.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Let me ask you.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
This now with everything happening with d I DEEI getting dismantled,
do you see that there's less grants or less grants
that are specifically because it used to be like, oh,
this grant is for a black women owned business.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Everywhere rans for a black owned business.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Is that something now that is being kind of People
are being more a quiet about it or they don't
exist anymore. I see a lot of companies also getting
rid of their DEI programs because they no longer have
to do it.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
So what have you found?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
So right now in the business grant community, a lot
of the businesses are not fatally funded. So if you're
not fairly funded, you're not you're not affected by this
new wave of the endminute.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Okay, good to know, because I was like, what is
happening now? You also are known as the business best
seem so tell me where did that title?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Who dubbed you the business best?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Team?
Speaker 4 (14:11):
I dubbed myself the business best? See so when I
don't need a business definitely, So when I started going
online on my new venture, I was like, I want
to combine my legal areas of expertise. But I've been
in business for twenty years, so I know everything that
can go wrong in business because either I've been there
or help someone get through it. So I'm kind of
(14:32):
combining both worlds, the business side and the legal side
together as your business best seam.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
What would you say are the three biggest challenges that
we have as far as starting a new business, being
an entrepreneur a small business. What would you say that
three biggest things that you see?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
The three biggest challenges is Number one, not realizing that
you're starting a seven figure brand from day one. A
lot of times we just get a logo, website and
just start the business and we don't protect it. We
don't trademark our name, we don't get an LLC. We're
just out here doing things. And then when someone takes
your name or if you get sued for something, now
you're losing your assets. So not treating your business like
(15:09):
it's a real business the beginning. Number two, I would say,
not understanding how to market their business. They put all
their time into getting and open and then it's like, well,
just because the door's open, the clients aren't just running in.
You know what I'm saying, Like, now y'all to understand
how to market your business Number three is they go
into way too much debt in the beginning. They feel
(15:32):
like they have to have everything to start and I
believen make money by Monday. Just go sell your product
right now in as raw shape as possible to get
a sale, to figure out what it is that the
streets want. Once you get exactly what it is that
they want and you have a system I call a
proof of concept, then go take the funding and then
(15:52):
tenex that in the beginning, a lot of times you're
just throwing things against the wall. Maybe my clients want
t shirts, but they want sweatshirts and earrings, they want necklaces,
And you spend so much money at the beginning trying
to figure out what it is that that's your mix.
And then once you know what your mix is, you're
now out of money.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Right You said ten X that the whole ten X
concept has been like one of the most life changing
things ever, basically getting rid of all this stuff and
only focusing on your special ability. But that's the thing
that a lot of entrepreneurs don't do. They don't delegate,
they don't hire, They get too afraid to do that,
and they try to do everything themselves instead of focusing
(16:31):
on that unique ability that created the business.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Correct. So I believe in focusing on your strengths and
then hiring for your weaknesses and always be developing your
strengths to keep on going. So if you're good at
this area, find someone that's good where you're weak so
that you can spend all your time focusing on what
your strengths are.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Now, Creme de la Creme, you started that but didn't
really have any experience in like hair care necessarily, right?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Is that none ever wore extensions for him when I
started that business.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
So just fill me in on how this whole thing
morphed in because I know you saw a lack in
the community of something.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
That you felt like you could provide.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
So I want to know what was going on in
Joy's mind that mayor say this is not a business
I'm familiar with. I am not licensed, but I'm gonna
go ahead and get this going.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
So you know how I said, I like opportunity. So
my soon to be ex husband, he was selling the
hair extensions and he asked me to watch Chris Rock's
movie Good Hair and to give my opinion as to
whether or not I thought that he should do the business.
And after watching that movie and I'm seeing all these
women spend all this money on hair. Period as a lawyer,
(17:43):
when I give my retainer fee, they always tell me, oh,
I have rent, I have this, or telling me why
they can't pay it. But I'm watching this show like
they're telling me, wait a minute, I'm in the wrong industry.
So I was like, this is gonna be big. Let
me partner with you. I'll put half up, but mean
to bring it to you Houston. And so just for
seeing that, well that one movie, I'm like, that's going
(18:04):
to be something huge. Because this is now Circle two
thousand and eight before and the Express and all that.
You can just get hair extensions. So once you see
a need in a business and where you can be
a niche, you want to just jump on that and
then just take it full throw off.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I saw you also said that a lot of places
are closed on Mondays, and you said I'm gonna be
open on Mondays.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Seven days, seven days.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Which I never understood. Restaurants are that same way.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
So like even right now, like we have this coffee
shop in Brooklyn, and what benefits us because we now
have a liquor license, so we have a bar, but
a lot of places aren't open Mondays, sometimes even Tuesdays
because it's a yeah, just because I think those are
slow days for restaurants. But because we are open as
a coffee shop during the day and it still thrives
during that time, I was like, I see an.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Opportunity for us.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
But I will say, what we lack in right now
is making sure we have you know, necessary staff and
making sure that people because I do think it's a
unique time as far as people are not wanting to
go out and spend money as much anymore, So how
do we encourage people to want to come out and
be in community like that?
Speaker 4 (19:08):
So what you could do is on your slower days,
have some kind of special so like a senior something
like a senior discount, a veteran discount, buy one, get
one half off, or maybe maybe bundle up one of
your meals, but make it like a Do you have
any kind of loyalty program that they come in they'll
(19:29):
get double points on those days. You want to bring
traffic to your slower days so that they can kind
of still bring money for you.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Just start asking some questions.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Oh wow, wow, wow, who is your ideal client. Who's
the ideal entrepreneur? You can work with any type of entrepreneur.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
I can work with you. Now, I'm not going to
say any entrepreneurs. You aren't, if you aren't driven, if
if I'm gonna have a whole bunch of excuses. No,
But my target audience will be three, three different people.
Number one is gonna be my startup. They're trying to
get it going or they got the visit, but they
don't have any sales, and they're trying to figure how
do I get this bad boy going? That's number one.
(20:14):
Number two is going to be a six figure entrepreneur
who was at who's stuck at a ceiling. I can't
get past this income. I need to tweak something, but
what is it? And my third one is the monkey
is on my neck. I have gotten into a problem
and I don't know how to get out of this
and I need some direction. So those are gonna be
(20:35):
my three target audience.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
And what's the process do you do? Like calls, coaching calls.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
I have a mentorship program, I have consultations, and I
have a community, so I can kind of fit you
in one of those price points.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
See and what I love you also were in like
the automotive business yeh, collision, I mean this is and
then tax preparation. I feel like these are all things
that are like so different from each other, but there
is one thing that remains the same, and that is
business is business.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Business is business. And once you get the blueprint of
how to start, structure and fund your business, all you
do is just change the product in our service. But
I will say this, you have to make one business hot.
You can't start three at one time. So you got
to get one house. Alf I have all these business
I didn't have them all at one time. So I'm
gonna have one that's hot, and then I'll get another
(21:27):
one going, and then I'll get another one going. I
may let go of this one. You're gonna You're gonna
always say ahead of the industry trends, what's going on
in your industry, what's going on so you can make
moves ahead of time versus being reactive.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
What are your thoughts about partnerships too, because I know
I touched on that earlier.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Now, one of my homegirls is like, I don't never
partner with anybody because I just can't do it.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
And I know another guy he has a food.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Franchise, does it by himself, and he's like, I don't
want to deal with a partner. It just never works out.
But I've had both experiences. I have a partner that
it works, but then I've had some like you know,
like I said, more.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Of them haven't work than have.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
So I want to know what your thoughts are on
that and what type of business best. The advice you can.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Give a business partnership is like a marriage, So you
don't want to just jump into bed or jump into
business is anybody, because it's so hard to make a
business partnership work. It's hard to find someone who's gonna
work at that same level, have that same work ethic,
(22:29):
have that same vision, have the same mindset as to
what we're doing with the business, how we're treating the customers,
how we're spending the money. It is hard, and the
problem is a lot of times we just jump in
because we're cool. We have this idea, not realizing we
are on two different spectrums. On work ethic. Our work
seven days a week, you were banking hours. It's never
(22:50):
going to work. So I would say in the unless
you know, like just I would say, pump your Brakes
on getting a partner. Just try to do a joint venture.
Try to I don't I'm not a fan of a
partnersment unless you just know that this is we are vibing.
We have the same not the same vision for the business.
(23:12):
What is our work ethic? What do I consider working?
What's your view on customer service? How do you want
to spend the money? Do you want to reinvest in marketing?
Like all of these things you got to kind of
know in the beginning, So you need to kind of
have all this discussion before the money is made, because
once that money is made, that's when the problem starts
to go.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I think it's a relationship to when almost being like
a soulful connection Wealth Wednesdays Angela, just as you get
to know her as a person. I think I always
tell people she thinks it's like bad luck to treat
people badly, and I feel that as well. And that's
a wonderful place to come together a partnership. So having
(23:53):
those values correct and.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I think that's like one of the most critical just
for people, Like behind the scenes, Stacy's going to be
than when it does the prep calls and make sure
she knows I'm going to do my own research, but
she'll put together like a whole sheet of like, Okay,
here's some bullet points so that we can supplement that
with the work that I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
And that's to find someone who's strong where you're weak,
right or strong.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
It's like a compliment. But I think one of the
things that's really made this work fantastically is that just
blind something's happened, and we blindly trust each other. Trust
each other.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
And then you also have books that are available for people.
So let's just say that's a good way to start.
Right right package wrong address? Tell me about that?
Speaker 4 (24:37):
So right is the wrong partnership?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I was there, you go.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
So I'm writing a book or I wrote a book
on what I had to do to overcome getting myself
out that dark season. I wanted to give up and
then have to go back and fight out and kind
of just fight for my true passion. So when you
are going through a dark time with whatever it is,
a lot of times you want to give up, and
it's it's to one thing just to kind of get
(25:06):
yourself back together. It's another thing to then go and
thrive to live your best life. And I want everyone
to be living their best life because for several years
I was just existing. I was on the back burner.
I wasn't really living I was I was existing. I
was drained, I was tired, I was doaying for everyone
else except from me. So my right package at the
wrong address means nothing is wrong with you. You were
(25:29):
at the wrong address. Whether it's the relationship, the partnership,
the job, the friendship, nothing was wrong with you. You
were just at the wrong address. So just return to
Cinder and we're gonna now reroute you to go to
the right actress. A lot of times when things don't
work out, the relationship, the job, the friendship, we think
is change. Sometimes nothing is wrong with you. You were
(25:53):
just at the wrong place.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
You give away a lot for free, a lot of
free resources. Tell our audi into.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
That I have free ebooks. I have a free masterclass
every Sunday and Thursday, how to structure fund to market
your business. I want to get the word out there
as to how to properly run your business because I
feel everyone needs to have another sema income. In this administration,
we all need to have another streaman income. But I
(26:19):
want people to be financially independent, so they can kind
of thrive on their own.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
And how many people are in your community now.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
I have thousands?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
You know what I like about this? To you also
stress the importance of knowing your business inside.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Out, inside out, so there is no such thing on
the start that usn't have someone else running. You need
to know every single part of the business, every every lane, everything.
If not, your employees will run over you. So I
believe like in my dealership, I know how to wash
the cars, I know how to detail the cars. I
(26:52):
know about all the sales contracts. So if your employee's
not doing it right, how do you not know it's
not right? And it's hair salon. I don't have no license.
I can do a soone. I can cut it off,
I can color I know on them tracks ain't laid right.
Because you have to know everything in your business. If not,
your employees will play with you. And then number two,
(27:13):
how are you going to be the CEO the expert?
You don't know everything exactly?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
What do you think about now going through what you've
gone through going into business with your partner?
Speaker 1 (27:22):
What would you tell people about that?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Because there are a lot of people who are like, well,
you know, we are she's giving me the death stairs.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
If you guys can see the stair, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
But it is a real thing, it is right, And
so what are some safety precautions you can put in
place to make sure you're protected, because even in that instance,
people are still going to do that safety what do
you need to have in place to make sure that
you're protected just in case, just like a pre nup,
things don't work out.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
So I would say, treat the business like it's a
real business. Yes, that's your best friend, your husband, your mom,
your dad, have the proper contracts, have the proper documentation.
Run it like it's a real business. So at work,
it's not mom or dad or wife, it's we're running
it like for real employees. I think both men and
(28:13):
women should look into having a prenuptial agreement or a
post nuptial agreement. You just never know what will happen.
And it's just marriage insurance. Like you have car insurance.
You don't want to use it, you know, but if
you get hit, you want to be able to be protected.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So I know, my car just got total really, oh
my gosh, And I would say, thank god I had
all my insurance place. But yeah, So you don't want
a car to.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Hit your marriage, correct, So it's just wi while we
are happy, lovey dovey, we're gonna just break down how
you want to divide things if something were to go wrong.
But I don't want anything to go wrong, so we
hope to never have to use it.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
You know, how did you manage to build yourself back
up like you said you were in a diar time?
What were those first steps that you took and what
gave you that motivation?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
My son? So if I didn't have my son, I
would be right now in Dallas, Texas on my mama's couch,
probably twenty pounds heavier, and I would have checked out
like it was. It was just I didn't have it.
You mean to do a whole nother round of business,
and I was like, I'm done. But I had my
son and I wanted to be the mom that he
(29:26):
could be proud of. Number one. Number two, he's used
to a certain life.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
You know.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Now, I'm like, okay, what we're gonna do? So my
son was a big factor. Number two. God was God
was my strength to kind of keep my mind together.
Number three, he wasn't gonna meet me a year later
at that same place. I was not gonna be at
that same place a year later, whenever I ran to
(29:53):
him again, I was not gonna be that same person.
So I used my anger, I used my sad I
use all that umph for good.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
In a productive way.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Talking about that, like channeling those strong emotions. A lot
of people don't like feeling uncomfortable. They feel anxious or something.
They think something's wrong and retreat. You just got to
use those feelings.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Oh you gotta, you gotta, you gotta knock an elephant
right and it's right right in the head. So I
use all that. I don't want to say anger. It
was anger at the beginning. I use all that up,
all that anger, sadness, energy, energy, the energy, and I said,
I'm about to I'm just about to be the best
person I can be.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
You gotta take the time to feel the emotions first,
sitting on your mama's couch for But I.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
See, I didn't have that time because the second I moved,
the money got taken and I'm locked out. So I
was mad, like God, I can't I don't even have
time to kind of grieve.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
I can't for a second.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
But then I was like, you know what, God, if
you're putting me in this, that means that I'm built
for it, because God doesn't give you anything else that.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
You can't handle.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
So I was like, you know what, I'm strong enough.
I'm about to just go. I'm about to just go
kill it. I didn't know how I was going to
do it, though, So now God, you got me in well,
I'm in this. You gotta get you got me in this, Okay,
you got to get me out of this. And so
I just I prayed, I listened, but I worked every
single day.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
You also talk about self care a lot, and I
want you to tell me what you did for self
care because sometimes people feel like working every day. While
it is a survival thing too, sometimes it can be
a distraction for other things and handling like the emotions
that are going on. So what's the balance there and
what did you do for self care?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
For self care, I made sure that every single week
I was doing something for me, whether it's nails, lashes,
and we see it going. You know, I certainly do shopping.
I'm always going to make sure that I'm doing something
for me. And then you can't do everything So that
means that the dishes sitnes sink because you want to
(31:59):
go spend time with your with your son and watch
your TV. That's fine. Nothing has to be perfect. You
have to be okay. And a lot of times we
get overwhelmed trying to make the house good and cook
everything and football and this and that, and it's like, girl,
you got you gotta put something down. So what you're
gonna put down to make sure that you're okay. So
(32:19):
I'm so conscious of making sure that I am good
every single day cause you're empty. You can't pour into
anyone else.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
And this is amazing. When you take that time, all
of a sudden, things get better. Business correct, business, things
just change.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
Correct, You feel better about yourself.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
And I always stress the imparance of us, so making
sure that you get outside because I think we can
be in our bubble. When you're starting a business, you
feel very lonely. You're trying to hustle, but sometimes you
do just have to come outside, meet people, talk with people.
Amazing things can happen.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
Correct, And you can network, Yep, the network.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Work the network, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Network, or just take some time out, Just just take
some time out and just go go to a movie,
go walk, do whatever it did is you're just stuck
in that house. How are you being your best self?
Your best self physically, mentally, emotionally. It's like a total package.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
How old is your son now?
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Twelve?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
And so do you talk to him about like what
you've been through? Because for women that have hit you
up and said I've been I've been there, I've done that,
how do you navigate that?
Speaker 4 (33:25):
So it's kind of like a two edged sword. My
son was eight when the violence started to get bad.
So when daddy is throwing things at mommy, he's gonna
run in front of daddy and say no, Daddy, don't
do that. So he saw the violence. And then he
was there when my husband shot at me. So he's
(33:45):
there when I have to then pack up my up
my mid so he's run the moor. He saw everything.
So I don't have anything. I don't have to explain
anything to him.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
He was there.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
He was there. So when we were in Houston, we
flew first class. We came back, uh cheap in the
economy seats. He had never flown coach and sorry, I
remember got on the plane and he's like Mommy, the
seats stopped at eight and I'm like, no, Ducy, there's
some more seats in back. And his eyes got big.
He was like, we're not sitting in and I was like, no,
(34:18):
we're not. And he can just see like the discipointment
in my face. When we finally got in the back,
I'm feeling so bad, like, oh my God. And then
God just said, girl, you could have been dead. You
over here crime because you know what I'm saying, And
he goes, Mommy. I said, Ducie, just give me, give
me six months, give me six months. I'm gonna get
(34:38):
us back.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Because the lesson is him seeing you get out of it.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
So that's he saw.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
He saw that like Benny, Hannah's turned into little Caesars.
You know what I'm saying, Like, you know, things broke,
things were different. I was very transparent. You know, hey,
we're gonna go to fun Spot, not Disneyland, like like
the little local like things were different. But I said,
just give me six months, Just give me six months.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
And they don't care. They'd rather see their mom happy,
they really would.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I'm still down for a little season.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
It is the bomb. It is a bomb. So over time,
you know he's been singing me, and I'm like, you know, Ducie,
if I'm on the zoom, I'm making money. I'm making
money for your Amazon, So don't come in here. You
know what I'm saying. Right, I'm very transparent, but he's
seeing me over time grow and it's so cute. This
other day, one of his friends, his mom and the
(35:27):
dad are breaking up. Goes, Mommy, don't you need another
assistant because you're busy? Can you hire her for your business?
I'm like, look at him, person, so making sure that
he sees that. You know, one monkey doesn't stop the show.
So something happens to you, you got to still get
(35:47):
back up. As long as God keeps waking you up,
you have to get back up because it's not just
for you, it's whose life are you going to impact
by your story? Bout you not giving up?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
They see everything like got a divorce. My son was
eleven years old, and I remember being terrified, like for months,
talking to people everything. How am I going to tell
him about this? So I just told him Mommy and
daddy are best friends. They love each other. They're not
like boyfriend and girlfriends, so they're not like husband and
wife so they're going to live into separate places. He
just looked up at me and he said, I know.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I was like waiting for you to tell me.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Yeah, exactly. They know, they know, they know, And for
so many women you talked about how difficult it is
to get out of financially abusive situations and things, but
your children know. And I found a lot of strength
that wasn't an abusive relationship at all, but just knowing
that stepping out of it is what they will see
(36:42):
and what they will remember, and if you stay in it,
you're kind of condoning it. Correct, So you're teaching this,
You're teaching your son it's okay to be a man
like this. It's not. You wouldn't want your child to
stay in a relationship. You gotta leave it, that's it.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Because I remember me and my husband, we were already
divorcing because he got it up. I was like, he's
not seeing how a woman should be treated, Like, we
just need to leave. So we were in counseling. We
were just we were divorcing, right, So after all this
happened before we actually packed up moved to Florida, but
we I had moved out, I said, he asked me,
(37:15):
mam are are you gonna get back with daddy? And
I said, well, do see what do you want? I
want to see hear what he said? He was like, no,
I want someone, you know, who's not going to yell
at you. And I want someone who's you don't have
to keep asking money, go to h GV. That's our
grocery store. And I want someone who's not going to
kill you. And tears just came down my eye because
(37:36):
I was like, for all these years, I am trying
to hold this family together, for the image and the
two parents and all of this, and is like he was,
He's just like, I don't want you with this person.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Yeah, that's what people do. They hold it together. That's
what we're taught, right, And I was totally on that
same track. And a friend of mine cold cocked me.
Her mother had passed, stayed in an unhappy marriage, and
I didn't know that her mother had passed, And I
was like, should I get a divorce? I don't know,
and she told me, from the child's point of view,
my mother stayed together for the children. I'm the reason
(38:12):
my mother died an unhappy woman. Don't do that to
your child. I never thought of it that way.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Mmm. It's like whoa yeah, because you think that two
parent homes what they need. But if it is, if
it's cussing, and if it's toxic, this is this is
what you're This is what you are teaching your kids right.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
In their name.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
It's correct, it's not.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I sed tod when my parents didn't get divorced till
we left for college. But it was like they held
it together until we moved out the house. And I
was like, y'all could have been doed that, you know,
because you can see it right. Yeah, you want a
couch every night.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
It's the point. But that's you know, so so yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
So I thank you for being this one in so
many different directions. Back to your entrepreneurs working, they find you,
it's all part of it. It is very important.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
You can find me at see you at the bank
dot com, on Instagram and tiktokjoy Hunt underscore E s
Q j o I h U n t underscore E
s Q al Right.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
I love this well, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Happy Wealth Wednesdays, everybody.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Thank you business bestie
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Wall Up
That this way up with Angela Yee.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I feel like I did a whole interview because I've
been talking to this woman. But it's a Wealth Wednesday.
Of course, my partner, Stacy Tisdaily is here with me.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Happy Wealth Wednesdays. Everybody who couldn't talk to this amazing
woman that you'll all about.
Speaker 4 (00:16):
To hear few Thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
We're really excited. We have a Joy Hunt here today
and she is the founder at see you at the
Bank University Business Group. Serial entrepreneur, like crazy, You're in hair,
You're in hair extensions, You're in auto, you're in everything,
tax pro jim fitness, business coaching. How does somebody who
starts out as a lawyer see all these business opportunities.
Speaker 4 (00:42):
I don't like to look at titles, so I'm looking
like where is the money? Where do I see an
opportunity and that's where I go. So I'm not really
big on titles for having a position on like what
is the best opportunity and then that's where I'm going.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
That's a hard thing for some people to see because
I feel like structure is so important too, right, Like
you might see something that is good, like I had
a hairstore before and it worked for a little while
until it didn't. But it also is being able to
like get the right people in position to run things.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
So how difficult is that?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Because sometimes if you can't be there because you have
so much going on, how hard is it to find
a team and how did you do that?
Speaker 4 (01:19):
It's very hard to find a team. So it's hard
to find someone who's gonna work like you and who's
going to keep your same culture, your same values, your
same system. So you're in the beginning. You're gonna have
to be there. And that's kind of the answer that
people I want to start a business and hire someone,
they're gonna steal from you. They gonna not gonna run
it right, They're gonna run into the ground. So you
(01:41):
have to be there, and then you have to try
to find someone to duplicate you if you want to
scale it right.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
That's important because I've had like some of tragic business
partner stories and even just aside from that, also people
who can not run the business with the same type
of way that you would like, say, they have a
nasty personality, but that's not how you want your business
to be perceived. Like you're not going to come in
here and the person is rude and nasty, and then
(02:08):
you're like, dang, that's a reflection on me.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Correct of your brand? Correct?
Speaker 4 (02:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
Wow?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So what was that first business that you did.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
My very first business was my law practice. I quit
working for a law firm when asked a protection and
I went started the Hunt Law Group.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
And they know, you had a lot of business success
with your partner, and then you really kind of went
through it personally and that's kind of led you to
change everything and now you've just built these amazing franchises
and everything else. Can you tell us a little bit
about that personal story?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Sure? So three years ago, I was in a toxic
marriage ten years and it turned abusive and I was like,
you know, a girl, you you need to leave, you know,
you just need to leave. And so he just was
my person. So left. Three weeks later, we're still working together,
like just going through a divorce. And then he shot
at me at our dealership, what in front of our son,
(03:04):
and I had to just pack up and move to
Florida because my brother wasn't Orlando. So I got to Orlando.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
And then a month later he took all the money
out of the accounts, lock me off our businesses, and
so February of twenty twenty two, my mom paid my rent. Dang. Wow.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
We talked about this a little bit, and we talked
about how things like not that it was a big
blown up case of it, but domestic violence cases, how
most ninety nine percent of them actually start in financial abuse. Correct,
And you were really in a financially abusive relationship.
Speaker 4 (03:36):
So when you're with a controlling person, you don't see
it in the beginning, right, And then slowly, but surely,
over time, I would notice bank accounts I don't have
access to, or the cars I have access to have
to have different amounts than what he has access yet
a lower limit. And then when I when I would
(03:57):
when I would bring it up, he would, he would
he was witch it. But then he would switch every
time I had a card, that limit would be smaller.
And then as it got later, no like ray, try
to voice my opinion, then that's when he'll throw things,
start yelling, And so that was whenever he got violent,
I will then just be quiet cause I don't wanna
have any kind of confrontation. And so but over time
(04:20):
it's like, well this is a pattern, like and I
keep wanting him to change versus girl, you need to
remove yourself from the situation. So financial abuse is real.
By the time the woman realized she is being financially abused,
I think it's too late. They've already moved things around,
or you're already stuck. Maybe you're a stay at home
mom and you don't have your own income. So for me,
(04:42):
he's just I'm gonna block you from your income. So
now I gotta start all the way back over.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
You have to come back. Sorry, I was just gonna
say you have to come back and visit us. In October,
we always have Ken Pentago from the National Network to
End Domestic Violence, Yeah, to talk about financial abuse. And
just before we leave this top, what would you tell
women who find themselves in this situation.
Speaker 4 (05:04):
I would say, Number one, don't say anything to your abuser.
He's only gonna make things worse. You need to go
get a plan so you can't just leave, because if
you just leave abruptly. Number one, you probably don't have
money to leave. Number Two, you don't want to like
take them off. You want to have a plan. Don't
tell the plan to anyone except to a close person
that you know that may mean you may have to
(05:24):
go get a job or you know, get a certificate
in real estate, like go actually start earning some money,
because the second you leave is gonna be lights out.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
You gotta be prepared.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I appreciate you for sharing that because I see so
many times women who are in situations and people kind
of act like, well, why didn't she just leave? Well,
you stayed and he did X, Y and ZD when
you saw what was going on. But it's not as
simple as saying what he said, what did he put
his hands on me?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
I'm out?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Normally it does not happen that way, correct, And it
also mentally can break you down where you start, and
like you said, you get separate right there from people
close to you.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
A lot of times, like you're sometimes you don't even
want to tell people.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
You're ashamed of it.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
You feel like it's your faults.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
They isolate you, so you know, no no real friends
because you're isolated, right, And then a lot of times
you don't want to see the truth because you don't
want to admit that I was in this, like no,
it can't be this. A lot of times there's gonna
be we are tied together. So I have a my
in laws live with me, my sons, having got this
(06:27):
big old house, got all these deals like do I
just leave? So it's kind of hard and if you
don't know how to put yourself first, which I was,
I was. I was the person that's going to take
care everyone else except for Joy. So I officially had
to say I'm gonna put me first. But it is
embarrassing to talk about it, like you're you smart? How
did you get caught from? That's like, girl, I did
I did right?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And you're not alone, Like it's so many smart women
and so many strong.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
You're here right here for three years.
Speaker 4 (06:55):
Yeah, it's it's it's a lot. It's a lot, and
I think women are ashamed of it. And so I
wanted to make sure that once I healed that I
spoke up because a lot of women don't want to
speak up or they think they're the only ones. And
I want people to understand, Hey, it's not your fault
because the person that you got with, they were totally
(07:16):
different than the person you see now. The mask is
all the way off now, But in the beginning, everything
was plotted and planned. They knew exactly how to push
your buttons to get you to fall for them, and
then it's just lights out.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
When you and I spoke, you said, one of the
things you're a phenomenal business coach, and one of the
things that you coach people is use your personal story,
and your business talks about that.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
So I believe that your test is your testimony. And
so if whatever you have gone through, that's what makes
you you, and that's what makes you unique, and you
want to stand on that not be ashamed of that.
So if you were raped, if you were home, if
whatever it is, embrace that and then share your story
of how you overcame it. And that's gonna one make
(08:03):
you unique. It's your story, and you're gonna also be
relatable to other people, and that's how you find your tribe.
When you're quiet, no one knows you. So I actually
just I posted a post about a woman who had
a restraining order and then a week later the husband
came and killed her, and I just said, hey, ladies,
and if whenever the abuse starts, it's not going to
(08:23):
get better, because I kept thinking it's gonna get better,
it's not changed. And then someone hopped in the comments,
oh you wouldn't know, and I was like, oh, I
got time today, baby, I do no no, no, no, no, no,
no no no no. And then once I just spoke
like a little bit of my story, people kept being,
oh my gosh, that happened to me. I totally understand.
I was like, whoa, there's more people like this, So
(08:45):
let me. Let me be more vocal, because so I
can one attract my tribe, let them know, Hey, you're
not alone. Number two, your abuser wants you to be caught.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
It's empowering to be able to tell you a story.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Correct.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
What can he do about it?
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Because they count on you to not want they know
what's going on.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
They want you just to die off and you know,
go on the sunset and you know, not live your
best life. And it's like, no, I'm going to speak
up about what I endure, but more importantly, how I
overcame and forget what I did, what I went through,
How I overcame it, and so whatever you're going through
you can overcome.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Also, So let's follow your journey. You said you lived
in Houston, and then but you're from La. From LA,
You're from Lave. You moved to Orlando from Houston. Okay,
So when did you move to Orlando?
Speaker 4 (09:31):
December of twenty twenty one?
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Okay, Okay, I'm just trying to get okay, So when
you went to Orlando, what happened there? What businesses were
you going to Orlando for?
Speaker 4 (09:41):
I was I was shot at November of twenty twenty one. Okay,
So I was going to Orlando to get away, okay
from my husband. I was still working for our business
from home. They're thinking I'm working from home in Houston
because I had moved out the house by that time.
But I actually have moved to Florida. They didn't know, okay.
And then about thirty days later is when he took
(10:03):
all the money out. So everything is dealing with control.
Speaker 1 (10:07):
And then legally there wasn't anything you could do about that.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
So rein litigation right now?
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Okay, Okay, good.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
There are no there's not much legal support at all.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
So here's the thing with the legal system, never one.
It costs money. So whenever they don't follow on order,
it costs you money to enforce it. Whenever you want
to file an action, it costs. That's another way of control.
So I'm going to drain your resources so that you
can no longer fight. So that's why I'm so adamant.
I'm giving so much free game on my page because
(10:36):
if you are in that tight situation, girl, just go
to my page. Get you a little business, sell a
little digital product, get the maternity fees, because it's going
to cost you money just to get out of the
situation that you're in. A lot of times why someone
can't leave, they don't have the resources to leave.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
So in addition to being part of your tribe, what
are some of the other things you teach entrepreneurs who
come for your coaching business?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Teaching number one, how to structure your business to make
sure that your assets are protected by layering multiple things
so parent companies, holding companies trust those kinds of things.
I teach entrepreneurs how to get free money for their
business with business grants.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
We would need that.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Wait, back up, back up, free money, free money.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So so many grants available that I don't know how
to access them.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
Correct, Like right now, Progressive has a fifty thousand dollars
commercial grant. So you want to get a car for
your business, They're giving you fifty thousand dollars. So a
lot of times business owners are going to take on
all this debt, credit cards, lines of credit loans just
to get the business open, not realizing getting it open
is just one step. Now we have to get this
bad boy going. We got to get clients coming in,
(11:41):
we gotta have inventory.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
It don't cost money.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
And so when you exhaust all your resources and going
to debt, my analogy is that's the monkey around your neck.
That's that stress, because now you got to get out
of that. So I want to teach entrepreneurs how to
get free money for their business to start scale and
grow their business.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
What's great about grants is that you don't have to
pay them back, correct and so not alone. And actually
Childs who introduced me to you, was like, you need
to talk to her to get some grants to be
your business. Because sometimes I also feel like we just
finance everything ourselves. And I think when it comes to
being a black woman business owner, that's kind of how
we are taught to do it, because it's harder to
(12:18):
access capital to be able to get that infusion into
your business. Sometimes you don't want to give up a
piece of your business to get an investor. You don't
want to take on even more debts, so you're just
basically like working or coming up with money to invest
back into your business when you can actually apply for
these grants that you would be quite eligible for it correct.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
And they're not that. I mean, we recommend everyone do
it with someone like joy and it's just so helpful.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Sometimes it's hard to Also the process of even applying
for grants can be overwhelming.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Some of it is. And then I was opening a
couple the other day, I'm like, oh, they're only asking
your fust questions on your phone.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
A lot of times. A lot of times people think
it's so complicated they don't even mind. Like there's a
Galaxy grant right now for three thousand foundred dollar or
it has three questions your name, email, zip code, sorry,
and your gender.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Okay, now you send text that to me when we're done, And.
Speaker 4 (13:08):
It's like you can. You can apply the business grants.
Most of the applications are going to be online. They're
super simple to fill out. I have a business Grant
Bunnle that breaks down how to do the application. So
it's like I say, apply for five to ten grants
every single month to increase your chances of winning. It's
free money.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Let me ask you.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
This now with everything happening with d I DEEI getting dismantled,
do you see that there's less grants or less grants
that are specifically because it used to be like, oh,
this grant is for a black women owned business.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Everywhere rans for a black owned business.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Is that something now that is being kind of People
are being more a quiet about it or they don't
exist anymore. I see a lot of companies also getting
rid of their DEI programs because they no longer have
to do it.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
So what have you found?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
So right now in the business grant community, a lot
of the businesses are not fatally funded. So if you're
not fairly funded, you're not you're not affected by this
new wave of the endminute.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
Okay, good to know, because I was like, what is
happening now? You also are known as the business best
seem so tell me where did that title?
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Who dubbed you the business best?
Speaker 3 (14:10):
Team?
Speaker 4 (14:11):
I dubbed myself the business best? See so when I
don't need a business definitely, So when I started going
online on my new venture, I was like, I want
to combine my legal areas of expertise. But I've been
in business for twenty years, so I know everything that
can go wrong in business because either I've been there
or help someone get through it. So I'm kind of
(14:32):
combining both worlds, the business side and the legal side
together as your business best seam.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
What would you say are the three biggest challenges that
we have as far as starting a new business, being
an entrepreneur a small business. What would you say that
three biggest things that you see?
Speaker 4 (14:48):
The three biggest challenges is Number one, not realizing that
you're starting a seven figure brand from day one. A
lot of times we just get a logo, website and
just start the business and we don't protect it. We
don't trademark our name, we don't get an LLC. We're
just out here doing things. And then when someone takes
your name or if you get sued for something, now
you're losing your assets. So not treating your business like
(15:09):
it's a real business the beginning. Number two, I would say,
not understanding how to market their business. They put all
their time into getting and open and then it's like, well,
just because the door's open, the clients aren't just running in.
You know what I'm saying, Like, now y'all to understand
how to market your business Number three is they go
into way too much debt in the beginning. They feel
(15:32):
like they have to have everything to start and I
believen make money by Monday. Just go sell your product
right now in as raw shape as possible to get
a sale, to figure out what it is that the
streets want. Once you get exactly what it is that
they want and you have a system I call a
proof of concept, then go take the funding and then
(15:52):
tenex that in the beginning, a lot of times you're
just throwing things against the wall. Maybe my clients want
t shirts, but they want sweatshirts and earrings, they want necklaces,
And you spend so much money at the beginning trying
to figure out what it is that that's your mix.
And then once you know what your mix is, you're
now out of money.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Right You said ten X that the whole ten X
concept has been like one of the most life changing
things ever, basically getting rid of all this stuff and
only focusing on your special ability. But that's the thing
that a lot of entrepreneurs don't do. They don't delegate,
they don't hire, They get too afraid to do that,
and they try to do everything themselves instead of focusing
(16:31):
on that unique ability that created the business.
Speaker 4 (16:34):
Correct. So I believe in focusing on your strengths and
then hiring for your weaknesses and always be developing your
strengths to keep on going. So if you're good at
this area, find someone that's good where you're weak so
that you can spend all your time focusing on what
your strengths are.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
Now, Creme de la Creme, you started that but didn't
really have any experience in like hair care necessarily, right?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Is that none ever wore extensions for him when I
started that business.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
So just fill me in on how this whole thing
morphed in because I know you saw a lack in
the community of something.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
That you felt like you could provide.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
So I want to know what was going on in
Joy's mind that mayor say this is not a business
I'm familiar with. I am not licensed, but I'm gonna
go ahead and get this going.
Speaker 4 (17:21):
So you know how I said, I like opportunity. So
my soon to be ex husband, he was selling the
hair extensions and he asked me to watch Chris Rock's
movie Good Hair and to give my opinion as to
whether or not I thought that he should do the business.
And after watching that movie and I'm seeing all these
women spend all this money on hair. Period as a lawyer,
(17:43):
when I give my retainer fee, they always tell me, oh,
I have rent, I have this, or telling me why
they can't pay it. But I'm watching this show like
they're telling me, wait a minute, I'm in the wrong industry.
So I was like, this is gonna be big. Let
me partner with you. I'll put half up, but mean
to bring it to you Houston. And so just for
seeing that, well that one movie, I'm like, that's going
(18:04):
to be something huge. Because this is now Circle two
thousand and eight before and the Express and all that.
You can just get hair extensions. So once you see
a need in a business and where you can be
a niche, you want to just jump on that and
then just take it full throw off.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
I saw you also said that a lot of places
are closed on Mondays, and you said I'm gonna be
open on Mondays.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Seven days, seven days.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
Which I never understood. Restaurants are that same way.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
So like even right now, like we have this coffee
shop in Brooklyn, and what benefits us because we now
have a liquor license, so we have a bar, but
a lot of places aren't open Mondays, sometimes even Tuesdays
because it's a yeah, just because I think those are
slow days for restaurants. But because we are open as
a coffee shop during the day and it still thrives
during that time, I was like, I see an.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Opportunity for us.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
But I will say, what we lack in right now
is making sure we have you know, necessary staff and
making sure that people because I do think it's a
unique time as far as people are not wanting to
go out and spend money as much anymore, So how
do we encourage people to want to come out and
be in community like that?
Speaker 4 (19:08):
So what you could do is on your slower days,
have some kind of special so like a senior something
like a senior discount, a veteran discount, buy one, get
one half off, or maybe maybe bundle up one of
your meals, but make it like a Do you have
any kind of loyalty program that they come in they'll
(19:29):
get double points on those days. You want to bring
traffic to your slower days so that they can kind
of still bring money for you.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Just start asking some questions.
Speaker 3 (19:43):
Oh wow, wow, wow, who is your ideal client. Who's
the ideal entrepreneur? You can work with any type of entrepreneur.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
I can work with you. Now, I'm not going to
say any entrepreneurs. You aren't, if you aren't driven, if
if I'm gonna have a whole bunch of excuses. No,
But my target audience will be three, three different people.
Number one is gonna be my startup. They're trying to
get it going or they got the visit, but they
don't have any sales, and they're trying to figure how
do I get this bad boy going? That's number one.
(20:14):
Number two is going to be a six figure entrepreneur
who was at who's stuck at a ceiling. I can't
get past this income. I need to tweak something, but
what is it? And my third one is the monkey
is on my neck. I have gotten into a problem
and I don't know how to get out of this
and I need some direction. So those are gonna be
(20:35):
my three target audience.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
And what's the process do you do? Like calls, coaching calls.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
I have a mentorship program, I have consultations, and I
have a community, so I can kind of fit you
in one of those price points.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
See and what I love you also were in like
the automotive business yeh, collision, I mean this is and
then tax preparation. I feel like these are all things
that are like so different from each other, but there
is one thing that remains the same, and that is
business is business.
Speaker 4 (21:07):
Business is business. And once you get the blueprint of
how to start, structure and fund your business, all you
do is just change the product in our service. But
I will say this, you have to make one business hot.
You can't start three at one time. So you got
to get one house. Alf I have all these business
I didn't have them all at one time. So I'm
gonna have one that's hot, and then I'll get another
(21:27):
one going, and then I'll get another one going. I
may let go of this one. You're gonna You're gonna
always say ahead of the industry trends, what's going on
in your industry, what's going on so you can make
moves ahead of time versus being reactive.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
What are your thoughts about partnerships too, because I know
I touched on that earlier.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Now, one of my homegirls is like, I don't never
partner with anybody because I just can't do it.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
And I know another guy he has a food.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Franchise, does it by himself, and he's like, I don't
want to deal with a partner. It just never works out.
But I've had both experiences. I have a partner that
it works, but then I've had some like you know,
like I said, more.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Of them haven't work than have.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
So I want to know what your thoughts are on
that and what type of business best. The advice you can.
Speaker 4 (22:08):
Give a business partnership is like a marriage, So you
don't want to just jump into bed or jump into
business is anybody, because it's so hard to make a
business partnership work. It's hard to find someone who's gonna
work at that same level, have that same work ethic,
(22:29):
have that same vision, have the same mindset as to
what we're doing with the business, how we're treating the customers,
how we're spending the money. It is hard, and the
problem is a lot of times we just jump in
because we're cool. We have this idea, not realizing we
are on two different spectrums. On work ethic. Our work
seven days a week, you were banking hours. It's never
(22:50):
going to work. So I would say in the unless
you know, like just I would say, pump your Brakes
on getting a partner. Just try to do a joint venture.
Try to I don't I'm not a fan of a
partnersment unless you just know that this is we are vibing.
We have the same not the same vision for the business.
(23:12):
What is our work ethic? What do I consider working?
What's your view on customer service? How do you want
to spend the money? Do you want to reinvest in marketing?
Like all of these things you got to kind of
know in the beginning, So you need to kind of
have all this discussion before the money is made, because
once that money is made, that's when the problem starts
to go.
Speaker 3 (23:30):
I think it's a relationship to when almost being like
a soulful connection Wealth Wednesdays Angela, just as you get
to know her as a person. I think I always
tell people she thinks it's like bad luck to treat
people badly, and I feel that as well. And that's
a wonderful place to come together a partnership. So having
(23:53):
those values correct and.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I think that's like one of the most critical just
for people, Like behind the scenes, Stacy's going to be
than when it does the prep calls and make sure
she knows I'm going to do my own research, but
she'll put together like a whole sheet of like, Okay,
here's some bullet points so that we can supplement that
with the work that I'm doing.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
And that's to find someone who's strong where you're weak,
right or strong.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
It's like a compliment. But I think one of the
things that's really made this work fantastically is that just
blind something's happened, and we blindly trust each other. Trust
each other.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
And then you also have books that are available for people.
So let's just say that's a good way to start.
Right right package wrong address? Tell me about that?
Speaker 4 (24:37):
So right is the wrong partnership?
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I was there, you go.
Speaker 4 (24:45):
So I'm writing a book or I wrote a book
on what I had to do to overcome getting myself
out that dark season. I wanted to give up and
then have to go back and fight out and kind
of just fight for my true passion. So when you
are going through a dark time with whatever it is,
a lot of times you want to give up, and
it's it's to one thing just to kind of get
(25:06):
yourself back together. It's another thing to then go and
thrive to live your best life. And I want everyone
to be living their best life because for several years
I was just existing. I was on the back burner.
I wasn't really living I was I was existing. I
was drained, I was tired, I was doaying for everyone
else except from me. So my right package at the
wrong address means nothing is wrong with you. You were
(25:29):
at the wrong address. Whether it's the relationship, the partnership,
the job, the friendship, nothing was wrong with you. You
were just at the wrong address. So just return to
Cinder and we're gonna now reroute you to go to
the right actress. A lot of times when things don't
work out, the relationship, the job, the friendship, we think
is change. Sometimes nothing is wrong with you. You were
(25:53):
just at the wrong place.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
You give away a lot for free, a lot of
free resources. Tell our audi into.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
That I have free ebooks. I have a free masterclass
every Sunday and Thursday, how to structure fund to market
your business. I want to get the word out there
as to how to properly run your business because I
feel everyone needs to have another sema income. In this administration,
we all need to have another streaman income. But I
(26:19):
want people to be financially independent, so they can kind
of thrive on their own.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
And how many people are in your community now.
Speaker 4 (26:26):
I have thousands?
Speaker 2 (26:28):
You know what I like about this? To you also
stress the importance of knowing your business inside.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Out, inside out, so there is no such thing on
the start that usn't have someone else running. You need
to know every single part of the business, every every lane, everything.
If not, your employees will run over you. So I
believe like in my dealership, I know how to wash
the cars, I know how to detail the cars. I
(26:52):
know about all the sales contracts. So if your employee's
not doing it right, how do you not know it's
not right? And it's hair salon. I don't have no license.
I can do a soone. I can cut it off,
I can color I know on them tracks ain't laid right.
Because you have to know everything in your business. If not,
your employees will play with you. And then number two,
(27:13):
how are you going to be the CEO the expert?
You don't know everything exactly?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
What do you think about now going through what you've
gone through going into business with your partner?
Speaker 1 (27:22):
What would you tell people about that?
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Because there are a lot of people who are like, well,
you know, we are she's giving me the death stairs.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
If you guys can see the stair, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
But it is a real thing, it is right, And
so what are some safety precautions you can put in
place to make sure you're protected, because even in that instance,
people are still going to do that safety what do
you need to have in place to make sure that
you're protected just in case, just like a pre nup,
things don't work out.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
So I would say, treat the business like it's a
real business. Yes, that's your best friend, your husband, your mom,
your dad, have the proper contracts, have the proper documentation.
Run it like it's a real business. So at work,
it's not mom or dad or wife, it's we're running
it like for real employees. I think both men and
(28:13):
women should look into having a prenuptial agreement or a
post nuptial agreement. You just never know what will happen.
And it's just marriage insurance. Like you have car insurance.
You don't want to use it, you know, but if
you get hit, you want to be able to be protected.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
So I know, my car just got total really, oh
my gosh, And I would say, thank god I had
all my insurance place. But yeah, So you don't want
a car to.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
Hit your marriage, correct, So it's just wi while we
are happy, lovey dovey, we're gonna just break down how
you want to divide things if something were to go wrong.
But I don't want anything to go wrong, so we
hope to never have to use it.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
You know, how did you manage to build yourself back
up like you said you were in a diar time?
What were those first steps that you took and what
gave you that motivation?
Speaker 4 (29:04):
My son? So if I didn't have my son, I
would be right now in Dallas, Texas on my mama's couch,
probably twenty pounds heavier, and I would have checked out
like it was. It was just I didn't have it.
You mean to do a whole nother round of business,
and I was like, I'm done. But I had my
son and I wanted to be the mom that he
(29:26):
could be proud of. Number one. Number two, he's used
to a certain life.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
You know.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Now, I'm like, okay, what we're gonna do? So my
son was a big factor. Number two. God was God
was my strength to kind of keep my mind together.
Number three, he wasn't gonna meet me a year later
at that same place. I was not gonna be at
that same place a year later, whenever I ran to
(29:53):
him again, I was not gonna be that same person.
So I used my anger, I used my sad I
use all that umph for good.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
In a productive way.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Talking about that, like channeling those strong emotions. A lot
of people don't like feeling uncomfortable. They feel anxious or something.
They think something's wrong and retreat. You just got to
use those feelings.
Speaker 4 (30:15):
Oh you gotta, you gotta, you gotta knock an elephant
right and it's right right in the head. So I
use all that. I don't want to say anger. It
was anger at the beginning. I use all that up,
all that anger, sadness, energy, energy, the energy, and I said,
I'm about to I'm just about to be the best
person I can be.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah, and it's okay.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
You gotta take the time to feel the emotions first,
sitting on your mama's couch for But I.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
See, I didn't have that time because the second I moved,
the money got taken and I'm locked out. So I
was mad, like God, I can't I don't even have
time to kind of grieve.
Speaker 3 (30:50):
I can't for a second.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
But then I was like, you know what, God, if
you're putting me in this, that means that I'm built
for it, because God doesn't give you anything else that.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
You can't handle.
Speaker 4 (31:01):
So I was like, you know what, I'm strong enough.
I'm about to just go. I'm about to just go
kill it. I didn't know how I was going to
do it, though, So now God, you got me in well,
I'm in this. You gotta get you got me in this, Okay,
you got to get me out of this. And so
I just I prayed, I listened, but I worked every
single day.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
You also talk about self care a lot, and I
want you to tell me what you did for self
care because sometimes people feel like working every day. While
it is a survival thing too, sometimes it can be
a distraction for other things and handling like the emotions
that are going on. So what's the balance there and
what did you do for self care?
Speaker 4 (31:38):
For self care, I made sure that every single week
I was doing something for me, whether it's nails, lashes,
and we see it going. You know, I certainly do shopping.
I'm always going to make sure that I'm doing something
for me. And then you can't do everything So that
means that the dishes sitnes sink because you want to
(31:59):
go spend time with your with your son and watch
your TV. That's fine. Nothing has to be perfect. You
have to be okay. And a lot of times we
get overwhelmed trying to make the house good and cook
everything and football and this and that, and it's like, girl,
you got you gotta put something down. So what you're
gonna put down to make sure that you're okay. So
(32:19):
I'm so conscious of making sure that I am good
every single day cause you're empty. You can't pour into
anyone else.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
And this is amazing. When you take that time, all
of a sudden, things get better. Business correct, business, things
just change.
Speaker 4 (32:33):
Correct, You feel better about yourself.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
And I always stress the imparance of us, so making
sure that you get outside because I think we can
be in our bubble. When you're starting a business, you
feel very lonely. You're trying to hustle, but sometimes you
do just have to come outside, meet people, talk with people.
Amazing things can happen.
Speaker 4 (32:50):
Correct, And you can network, Yep, the network.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Work the network, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (32:56):
Network, or just take some time out, Just just take
some time out and just go go to a movie,
go walk, do whatever it did is you're just stuck
in that house. How are you being your best self?
Your best self physically, mentally, emotionally. It's like a total package.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
How old is your son now?
Speaker 4 (33:14):
Twelve?
Speaker 2 (33:15):
And so do you talk to him about like what
you've been through? Because for women that have hit you
up and said I've been I've been there, I've done that,
how do you navigate that?
Speaker 4 (33:25):
So it's kind of like a two edged sword. My
son was eight when the violence started to get bad.
So when daddy is throwing things at mommy, he's gonna
run in front of daddy and say no, Daddy, don't
do that. So he saw the violence. And then he
was there when my husband shot at me. So he's
(33:45):
there when I have to then pack up my up
my mid so he's run the moor. He saw everything.
So I don't have anything. I don't have to explain
anything to him.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
He was there.
Speaker 4 (33:56):
He was there. So when we were in Houston, we
flew first class. We came back, uh cheap in the
economy seats. He had never flown coach and sorry, I
remember got on the plane and he's like Mommy, the
seats stopped at eight and I'm like, no, Ducy, there's
some more seats in back. And his eyes got big.
He was like, we're not sitting in and I was like, no,
(34:18):
we're not. And he can just see like the discipointment
in my face. When we finally got in the back,
I'm feeling so bad, like, oh my God. And then
God just said, girl, you could have been dead. You
over here crime because you know what I'm saying, And
he goes, Mommy. I said, Ducie, just give me, give
me six months, give me six months. I'm gonna get
(34:38):
us back.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Because the lesson is him seeing you get out of it.
Speaker 4 (34:41):
Correct.
Speaker 3 (34:42):
So that's he saw.
Speaker 4 (34:43):
He saw that like Benny, Hannah's turned into little Caesars.
You know what I'm saying, Like, you know, things broke,
things were different. I was very transparent. You know, hey,
we're gonna go to fun Spot, not Disneyland, like like
the little local like things were different. But I said,
just give me six months, Just give me six months.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
And they don't care. They'd rather see their mom happy,
they really would.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
I'm still down for a little season.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
It is the bomb. It is a bomb. So over time,
you know he's been singing me, and I'm like, you know, Ducie,
if I'm on the zoom, I'm making money. I'm making
money for your Amazon, So don't come in here. You
know what I'm saying. Right, I'm very transparent, but he's
seeing me over time grow and it's so cute. This
other day, one of his friends, his mom and the
(35:27):
dad are breaking up. Goes, Mommy, don't you need another
assistant because you're busy? Can you hire her for your business?
I'm like, look at him, person, so making sure that
he sees that. You know, one monkey doesn't stop the show.
So something happens to you, you got to still get
(35:47):
back up. As long as God keeps waking you up,
you have to get back up because it's not just
for you, it's whose life are you going to impact
by your story? Bout you not giving up?
Speaker 3 (35:58):
They see everything like got a divorce. My son was
eleven years old, and I remember being terrified, like for months,
talking to people everything. How am I going to tell
him about this? So I just told him Mommy and
daddy are best friends. They love each other. They're not
like boyfriend and girlfriends, so they're not like husband and
wife so they're going to live into separate places. He
just looked up at me and he said, I know.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I was like waiting for you to tell me.
Speaker 3 (36:21):
Yeah, exactly. They know, they know, they know, And for
so many women you talked about how difficult it is
to get out of financially abusive situations and things, but
your children know. And I found a lot of strength
that wasn't an abusive relationship at all, but just knowing
that stepping out of it is what they will see
(36:42):
and what they will remember, and if you stay in it,
you're kind of condoning it. Correct, So you're teaching this,
You're teaching your son it's okay to be a man
like this. It's not. You wouldn't want your child to
stay in a relationship. You gotta leave it, that's it.
Speaker 4 (36:54):
Because I remember me and my husband, we were already
divorcing because he got it up. I was like, he's
not seeing how a woman should be treated, Like, we
just need to leave. So we were in counseling. We
were just we were divorcing, right, So after all this
happened before we actually packed up moved to Florida, but
we I had moved out, I said, he asked me,
(37:15):
mam are are you gonna get back with daddy? And
I said, well, do see what do you want? I
want to see hear what he said? He was like, no,
I want someone, you know, who's not going to yell
at you. And I want someone who's you don't have
to keep asking money, go to h GV. That's our
grocery store. And I want someone who's not going to
kill you. And tears just came down my eye because
(37:36):
I was like, for all these years, I am trying
to hold this family together, for the image and the
two parents and all of this, and is like he was,
He's just like, I don't want you with this person.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Yeah, that's what people do. They hold it together. That's
what we're taught, right, And I was totally on that
same track. And a friend of mine cold cocked me.
Her mother had passed, stayed in an unhappy marriage, and
I didn't know that her mother had passed, And I
was like, should I get a divorce? I don't know,
and she told me, from the child's point of view,
my mother stayed together for the children. I'm the reason
(38:12):
my mother died an unhappy woman. Don't do that to
your child. I never thought of it that way.
Speaker 4 (38:17):
Mmm. It's like whoa yeah, because you think that two
parent homes what they need. But if it is, if
it's cussing, and if it's toxic, this is this is
what you're This is what you are teaching your kids right.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
In their name.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
It's correct, it's not.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I sed tod when my parents didn't get divorced till
we left for college. But it was like they held
it together until we moved out the house. And I
was like, y'all could have been doed that, you know,
because you can see it right. Yeah, you want a
couch every night.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
It's the point. But that's you know, so so yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
So I thank you for being this one in so
many different directions. Back to your entrepreneurs working, they find you,
it's all part of it. It is very important.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
You can find me at see you at the bank
dot com, on Instagram and tiktokjoy Hunt underscore E s
Q j o I h U n t underscore E
s Q al Right.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
I love this well, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
I appreciate you.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
Happy Wealth Wednesdays, everybody.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Thank you business bestie
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Wall Up
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