June 5, 2025 • 59 mins
This week on the pod, Tambam and AJ Holiday break down their S.I.N.S of the week, starting with a new study claiming women prefer traditionally masculine men. They also unpack recent comments from rapper and media personality, Cam’ron on the Diddy trial, adding their own insights to the ongoing conversation. Later, the duo dives into the difference between “clinical” thinking and what they cheekily call “clitical” thinking—highlighting how emotions, intuition, and logic show up differently in decision-making. You ever heard of clitical thinking? Let’s discuss.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hoping, and we talk back where we encourage you to
hustle hard, laugh louder, and always.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Because it's about to go down.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
talks back.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
What's up, y'all? It's your girl a j holiday. What's hey, y'all?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm so happy?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
What the fuck was that right?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I'm sorry, hey, y'all. I love y'all so very much.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Geeking out right quick?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I thought it was happening. I'm so happy. I don't
know if it's all right, y'all. I got all my
weave out and I got two balls and it just
makes me feel so youthful and just full of life
or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Interesting my edges. Look, are you gonna get you some
rolls oil?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
They're growing back now.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
We got out here, I was like, bitch, you got
your real hair out? I hear that.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
What was smooth right there? It's some hair you.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Got the ad just flourishing for the summer.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Don't play with me. Don't play with me.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I should have gotten me some braids. I just don't
feel like putting them in and taking them out though
it's just a whole process.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yes, but the in between time is so glorious.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Because I be in yoga with a fucking wig scarf on.
It wouldn't be wigging for the gym now there's a
wig scarf. When I tell y'all, y'all, fuck that gym. Shit. Man,
I think I'm about to just only do hot yoga
because when I tell y'all, I burn way more calories
than forty five minutes, and hot yoga like six hundred
calories and forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I can't do nothing hard.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Yeah, you damn. They can't breathe in that bitch. But
and I be right in there like tussling and do
all them positions. Hiah looking stupid. I already know.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
That's how everybody looks stupid when they start.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
But my hip hurt a little bit today. But see that.
The thing is, I need this fucking stretch more.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yes, I'm on day fifty eight of my seventy five
hart and I look at the beginning pictures and the
pictures now and I can tell, like my face, like
I can see my body is changing. But I don't
know why I thought that I would be looking like
Billy Blanks by now, and I don't you know, So
(02:25):
I just knew by the time I got to sixty,
I was gonna be ripped up. But that's not how
it worked. Like the training was like, I mean, this
is seventy five days.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
It's good, but these not good results.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, yeah, I got I got good results. But I
just thought I was gonna look like I don't know
what I thought. I just thought, yeah, by the time
I get to sixty, are.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You doing like creatine and stuff like that, because I
put creatine into my little regimen. You know what I'm saying.
I know I don't eat enough protein though.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Bro. That's that has been like the hardest part for me,
outside of drinking all that water every day. The protein
I've been doing. Like I found these muffins called Bootylicious muffins,
and they're low calorie, low carb. They taste yeah, and
they taste nice, and they got twenty five grams of protein.
It comes like in a powder form and you gotta
(03:17):
add water or milk or whatever, and I just add
protein shake as my milk to it. And they're actually good.
So I have those in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You gotta bake them, that's what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
The microwave cause like a little cup, like a noodle cup,
and you just mix it with your water or whatever
you want to put in it. And they put in
the microwave for a minute fifteen seconds and it's a
little muffin in a pot and it's so good. And
I have that with my black coffee in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Nice. And that's I just had two eggs this morning.
I don't eat enough, man.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, that's what I realized. You're supposed to have a
grammar protein for every pound in your body. Who are
you eating that much protein in a day?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
And then because I don't eat meat, like it's hard,
Like I'm tied of salmon. I don't eat when salmon
tay's weird nowadays. So I bought like a big ass
from Costco. I bought like a big ass box of
lobster tails for like two hundred dollars. It was like
twenty lobster tails, like the big ones too. Yeah, because
it was gonna sell Mother's Day weekend, So I bought.
(04:17):
So I beat lobster tails scallos. I made a little
fry loft sale. That's girl's imagine like if you go
to a restaurant and got a lobster dinner. How much
that's gonna cost you. It's gonna be two hundred dollars
for that want meal you and somebody else. So I
got a whole box of them. That is actually not rich,
that's rich broke.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Well, that's that's actually really good. And I noticed that
you've been back to Costco, but you haven't mentioned my candle.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
But they don't have them no more. They're gone. I
didn't see them when I went back in there.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I wanted that really badly.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I'm sorry, you know, I would have had to win
the very next day that we talked about it, and
I didn't, you know, But you should be able to
order it online. I'll give you my Costco account and
you could order it to your house online. Anything that
you see that you might want, usually it's on the
Costco website. Then that way you could just ship that
ship to your house without stepping foot in the Costco.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Okay, that's cool. I also wanted you to buy it,
but it's okay. I'll just.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Girl, where the fuck was I putting that that thing was?
That thing is the size of a waste basket for
a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, it's so big. I love it.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You gotta be careful with candles because a lot of
them shit toxic. Man, you want a big, big, stupid
ass toxic can do in your house.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I want that. I want that toxic shit in the house.
I want that candle.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I was your weekend. I ain't do much this past weekend.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
My weekend I hit. I hit a wall this weekend, Auntie,
you is tired. I could do no more. I could
do no more. I just had to rest. I had to.
I mean I did my works but like I literally
did my workouts and got in the bed. That was it.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I mean I went to m hmm, that'd be fun.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah. I did enjoy laying in the bed all day.
Like on Sunday, I did my workout and then I
got back in the bed. I tried to go. I
was trying. I was supposed to go to New York.
It didn't work out, but God said, lay down, and
that's what I did. Shout out to Taylor. Taylor had
her baby shower Sunday. I missed it. I sent her
(06:31):
some nice things. I literally I'm broke right down, because stop.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Saying you broke girl. In between blessings and bitch ain't
never broke.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay, I'm in between blessings cuz five bitches, I never
had baby showers this week. That's five hundred dollars gone,
just buying everybody some shit, trying to you know, trying
to bless everybody baby. And I just pray over that money.
(07:00):
When I spend it on y'all day, it comes back
to me.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're not spending it, You're circulating it. You see. Gotta
chose those words wisely so the money can come back.
So you circulated the money and bought the gifts, and
it's coming right back around.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Why I've been fucking.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
We ain't even fucking enough, because where's my goddamn baby, y'all?
My birthday Sunday? Where is my baby?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And then you don't never have no birthday party. I'm
sick of you.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I don't because it's like, listen, I like to celebrate.
I'm kind of sick of America. Maybe if I maybe
I could plan a trip for real, like I wanted
to do a solo trip. And I didn't even execute
on that shit.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Okay, you bullshit it on that.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I know I did. And now I'm like I don't
want to spend that type of I wanted to go
to Barbados, and I don't want to spend that type
of money on the fucking flight now. And I only
can go for like a couple of days, you know,
I want to go for the whole fucking week, pack
the fucking cat up and be out.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, why you can't, Why you can't.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna
do something because I do want to definitely be on
the beach this weekend. So I'm gonna figure it out
last minute, hop in the car or the plane and
get out of here for a couple of days.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, do it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
I want to figure it out. I am making me
some fairy wings. Now what I heard recently, okay, because
what I did do this weekend is bought some fucking furnitures,
some new furniture. And one of my homegirls, who uh
picked the chairs up I needed, she helped me with
her truck. As she was leaving, I told her I
was making fairy wings. So I did arts and craft
(08:36):
this weekend and she told me, did you know, like
the fairy shit is like another word for prostitution. I'm
disgusted with you niggas. What How the fuck would y'all
pervert fairies? Yes, they're saying fair I googled it. It's
saying like fairy if if a woman says she's a fairy,
that's like a cold word for selling pussy.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Damn not tinker Bell being out here selling ass the
whole time and we ain't even know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I am so sick of niggas, man Like, why do
we pervert everything? Why we make everything positive and magical?
Like as negative as possible? You know, why does that happen?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I was so disgusted I ain't gonna lie. I need
to eat lunch because when you said fair wings, I
thought she was making.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Some fair wing. How you like low gold dust like
low goal uh oh, sweet sour sauce, like some little
gold flakes or something like that lemon pepper shame. Yeah,
(09:48):
but I didn't do much this weekend. I did hot
yogat and made some fucking fairy wings. That's it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Let's get this.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So, y'all, this is this is so for me. Okay,
I don't know how y'all feel, but it says a
new study. I don't know how I knew it is
but it says new study shows women find men sixty
percent more attractive if he can do manly task like
mow the yard, fix the car, and pick her up
and then use the imagery from a baby boy you
(10:19):
remember his mama with ben Rhyme's getting picked up in
that kitchen. Yes, live okay, it's so funny to find
you know. Did you ever see the video? I think
she was on a breakfast club. I can't remember. I
think she was a breakfast club. AJ. She said that
she did like a threesome for her fiftieth birthday, but
it was actually with two men. I mean that's a threesome.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Some people may consider it a train but she said, yeah,
is it a It's only a threesome if they distouched right?
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Why because they like by at that point?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
No, because I thought everybody's having sexual with everybody.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
That's what I thought. So too, that's what I thought.
But anyway over here, unlet's just pp So it's a
steady show. Women find men up to sixty percent more
attractive when they can do manly tasks like change the oil,
chop wood more lawn, carry her with ease or drop
(11:17):
and do push ups. It's not just man chocolate, some wood,
me too. It's not just the muscles, it's the competence
fixing things, lifting, heavy handling business without calling for help.
And in a world of soft talkers and filters, being
hands on is the new sexy. I've always been like,
(11:40):
I like dirty niggas, like I like mechanics. I like
fucking truck drivers. I like niggas who could build me
a house. Definitely niggas who chop wood. Those are my
kind of guys.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
It's this nigga on Instagram. He got that curly hair,
brown skin, and he'd be out there chopping wood.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Fine nigga be eating that fucking watermelon face. Yes, yes, yes, yeah,
we like that, like you know, a.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
New study that shit always been training.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I don't think we women don't end up with these
type of guys, though, you know what I'm saying. You
either end up with somebody you gotta do all the things,
or maybe he has the finances to pay for somebody
to do the things. But I really I like to
do things even if I have the money, Like I
don't want to spend it on certain things that I
can read a book and figure out, or watch YouTube
and figure it out, so bitch be undereath the hood
of the car and all the things. And I like
(12:31):
men who do that, who do those same type of
things like I like, I like problem solvers. I like uh, troubleshooters.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I don't like I'm not getting under no car. I'll
change a tire if I have to, and there's no
cars passing by, and I can't just put a leg
out into the street.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
But I just feel accomplished when I do things, you
know what I'm saying. I like taking it apart and
putting it back together. That's just what I like.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
So I like somebody who can compliment that type activity.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
My ex girldmama was like, don't dumping yet. I need
him to finish the towel in my kitchen. We did
that Chile bitch in the kitchen, and not immediately, so
if you're listening, you know that. Really we were just laughing,
me and my mama, You're bestie, was just laughing and
joking and playing right. But shortly thereafter, yes, bitch, I
(13:29):
didn't after I got her Chile.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
So cam Brian had the exotic dancer that was a
part of the Cassie and Diddy case. That black man
came out with the book Freezer Meat, and he proceeds
to ask him was the pussy good? Like let us
know how to put what the pussy was hitting for?
(13:55):
And I thought that was so crash and just ugh.
But then at the same time, I was like, I
might have wanted to know, nasty. No, I don't want
to know if Cassie pussy is good about Cassie's vagina.
But I mean, I'm just thinking about how like I
talked with my friends. They tell me they had, you know,
(14:17):
fun over the weekend. I might want it to be
like what that they care for?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
You send me a video?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, so I get why he might have asked that,
but she is also a victim, and it's very public,
and it just seemed very inappropriate to ask that man
at And he didn't even answer the question. Basically, he
(14:43):
was like, I don't I couldn't even tell you because
I just wasn't in it, Like I was very concerned
with my sexuality being tested by Diddy the whole time.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
You know, it's just about him saying it on like
a public platform, because I mean, of course we have
these d these conversations, and you know, there's really no
man that believes that Cassie is a victim. Unfortunately a
very small percentage, and they're probably from our gay community.
Regular heterosexual men feel like Cassie got what she deserved.
(15:18):
Cassie was doing all the things because she wanted to
do it. Cassie was a willing participant. A lot of
them don't see the abuse part, you know what I'm saying.
They don't see the coaching, the grooming, they don't see it.
They just you know, she signed up for that shit.
That's really how they feel. So that's why.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Cameron can get on the fucking podcast and asks, what's
the plessy good?
Speaker 1 (15:40):
That is so disgusting? He get, oh my goddamn nerve,
Like what the fuck happened to his airline? He was like,
it just got so like he didn't get a new barber,
that nigga. That shit that got pushbacks. It like a
half moon. It like the moon right now, dog Crescent.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It was just inappropriate. It was a valid question that
I feel like men ask each other all the time.
But it just was you got to read the room,
you know, you gotta read the room, and that just
was not nice or nobody wanted to hear that. Regarding
this situation, I.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Think, yeah, I could have lived without it, because you
sent me that post and all I said was ill.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
I said yuck when I got it, when I it
was sent to me, it just.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Was like, you said that out loud, growing ass, fucking
fifty old nigga. Shut up anyway, You're too.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Old to be just behaving that way.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah. So so. Glorilla recently changed her profile picture to
Michael Jackson after the nose job allegations.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It ain't allegation, she said she did.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah she did, and it clearly looks like she got
a nose job. I don't know how you feel about that.
What do they call it? Rhinoplasty.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I'm an advocate of do whatever makes you happy. I didn't.
I liked her own nose, but it's about her liking
her nose. So if she liked a new nose, you know,
I'm here for it. I don't have no but they
eating her up because people are not happy with her nose.
(17:27):
You know, people are not liking the nose. And then
another girl I can't remember who got there is done.
They was like, you gotta let that nose sit a
little while for to heal and take it the actual
point it says it takes like a year usually. So yeah,
do you think made.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Sallion and got her nose done? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Her does does look different?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I think a lot of people, I mean, Beyonce clearly
has a nose job. A lot of people there. Most
people I believe probably got this type of work done.
We know Cardi B got a nose job. Mary J.
Blige got to know his job. Look, Kim got a
million those jobs. Like most people in the industry, they
(18:14):
end up.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Removing their daddy's noses, Like this is my daddy knows
I want and it's wide and.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Girl, my nose big as a motherfucker. This is my daddy.
Daddy knows all day long, and I'm gonna keep it.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Yeah, this is my nigga knows and I love it.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, you can put enough makeup on it. You could
put like some contouring on it.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
You wanted to have a point, you can contour it.
But I don't even care about that. It's these titties.
I want to do something. That's why I got no
judging for nobody that if I go on a vacation,
doing that suction thing to my titties. You know what I'm
talking about?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Yo, may do the booty. Yeah, that's gonna look crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I'm gonna do it. It's probably be bruised up the
whole vacate these bruised.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
And the last night of vacation, your titty is gonna
be gone. Wait a minute, motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Again, put your right here real hard so they can swell.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Look lead them teddies alone the ship that we be
worrying about, Like, men do not give a fuck. They
don't so I know it right under. I know we
say it's for us, right half the things we do?
Is it really though? Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
For us?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Mm hmmm, because niggas don't care.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I told you he's second laid back and he's.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I don't know. Good luck with her in her nose,
like I mean, she's a pretty girl regardless, Like Glorilla
is really a pretty girl in person. She got like
a little distinct unique look, but she's a pretty girl.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
She looked like principal Hogh Tower to me. I don't
know her really with her she was beautiful, like that's
her kid or something, right, Yeah, she could have very
well been her daughter mm hm.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Anyway, shout out to the new noses hid y'all have
fun with that, y'all. So today we want to talk
about clinical thinking, not to be confused with critical thinking. Okay,
so what's that you ask. It's more of a way
of thinking. It's more of a way of thinking that
(20:29):
blends intuition, emotional intelligence, wisdom, and basically like lived experience.
It's that fucking gut feeling you know that women have. Right,
it's clinical thinking that we're using. So it's like logic
with a libido. Basically, I can't wait to get We'll
(20:50):
be back, all right, y'all. So we're back and we're
talking clinical thinking today, right, So that survives gut feelings,
like the feminine intuition that not everybody has, and a
lot of times we don't even be following our shit,
but it's a real thing. You know, how you do
some shit and be like you know what I knew?
(21:12):
I knew better, or like you think something about somebody
and you're like, man, I knew this niggame and shit,
and you still you you ignored your clitical thinking skills.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Basically, So sometimes that clitical thinking can have you think
it wrong too.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I don't think so my clitical thinking be on point.
It may not. It may not.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Like at the very moment when you some shit happen,
you think back and be like, hmm, I was right.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I'd be fucking knowing.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Sometimes my clitterist has led me a strength. He didn't
do it. He's innocent because I love the nigga so much.
He did that shit. He did that shit.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I think that's your heart. You might have been thinking.
It wasn't the gut feeling.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
It wasn't the gut, it was my glitteriest.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Well, maybe you need to tune yours out. Yours might
not be all I mean, yours might not be on completely.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Love struck and love struck by somebody that you kind
of like, don't pay attention to logic and reason.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Mm hmm. Yeah, but you thought it though, right, So
your clitical thinking kicked in. But then I think my.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Critical thinking kicked in. But my clitical thinking.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
No, the clinical thinking ain't gonna never like lead you wrong.
That's what I'm saying. It's your heart and your mind
that be fucking you up. The clinical thinking is that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I need out of the equation. I probably would have
kept my good sense.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
So what is a clinical thinker? One might ask, Right,
So it's something in my spirit that says the same, right,
and that's enough. That's all I really need. Right, boundaries
are just not up for debate. I don't need no
more information I need. I know exactly what's happening. And
(23:15):
I picked up on it before you even put it down.
Like that's essentially what clitical thinking is. So it kind
of can be compared to like girl math a little bit. Right,
So the things that make sense to women that don't
make sense to men, because I don't think that men
think as deep as women do, almost subjects relationships life
(23:37):
like they claim to be super simple.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
You just think these niggas is really fucking dumbn't it.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You know, this past weekend I kind of said that
shit to somebody a little bit, a little t.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
T because that is.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I am not hard on men, not at all. I
don't and and really I think collective we may not
be hard enough. They think we'd be being hard, but
we really aren't. I'm not hard on men. I love men,
I love black men in.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Particular, hard on these niggas and.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
You soft on niggas. I might sound like I'm hard
on them on this fucking podcast, but in real fucking life, bitch,
too hard on a nigga? Me, okay, real.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Life, Yeah, I'll be I'll be hard on the Okay,
I'm just talking about it, bitch. I still you give
a nigga more chances than for sure, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So like, I'm talking about it right because the more
women talk about things, that means we are still trying.
It's when you fucking stop talking about ship is when
niggas need to be worried. I don't care about y'all niggas,
no more so, and I am I open. I open
the door for anybody to talk say about whatever they want,
say whatever they want about black women. You know, if
(25:00):
we have there's plenty platforms for that shit. Okay, I do.
I'm not hard on men anyway. I do think a
lot of a lot of them are stupid and they
think that. Huh.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I don't think these niggas are stupid. I just think,
and I think they do think as deep as us.
I don't think. I just when I say I'm harder
than you, I don't know. I just don't be going forward.
I don't. I don't. That's I guess why I ain't
(25:31):
had no nigga since twenty sixteen. I ain't going for it.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
When I say men are stupid. Okay, when a man
says he's simple, what is he actually saying? Because I
know that men are very, very very like complex, nothing
simple about him.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
When I hear them say the simple, I don't think
simple minded. I think like they just want hot food
and warm cuchie and peace.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
So one thing I listened is I'm simple. I don't
like drama, right that. That's basically like the keywords they're
actually missing there is that I want to do what
the fuck I want to do, and I want you
to shut the fuck up. Okay, When they don't like drama,
that's them not taking accountability. They don't want you.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
They don't want to have to get into the in
depth conversation about something they could have possibly done, or maybe.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
You want something you want change in the relationship. They
don't want to talk about it. They want to be
dismissive of your feelings, and they like to brush us off, like, oh,
you're so emotional. It's not like men. Men are emotional too,
Because we always say motherfucks die whenmen get emotional. So
they just to me, it's just lacking accountability, and they
can just just scapegoat. I don't want to talk about it.
(26:59):
You just full of why you're always complaining, why you
being petty? Because they don't want to take accountability for
what it is that you have a problem with.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, that's one reason why someone would say that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah, because a half the time we're just asking for clarity.
So maybe you're not thinking deep enough. Right. This is
actually stemming from a conversation I had with a grown
man over the weekend. I'm like, man, I ain't calling
you no more. Cool, it's one of my friends. I'm like,
I ain't talking to you no more because he basically
told me that I'm never going to get a nigga
(27:37):
to do all the things I want to do because
I got masculine energy. He threw that shit on me.
You know, the talking points from all the red pill
niggas on these podcasts. I'm a very That's why when
you say I'm hard on man, that is just not true.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Like, I guess I expect what I bring, right, so
like and bring masculine energy.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
How because I feel like to be a well.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Rounded to what you bring. You should expect from a man,
something different than what you're bringing. You should be bringing
in your feminine softness.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I feel like you got to bring both. I feel
like men should be soft sometimes too. Masculinity is not
just because this friend of mine, to him, masculinity is
like cussing his family out. That is not like that's
you know, men are respectful. That's not masculinity. Like men
have control, right, That to me is masculinity being in
(28:33):
control of your emotions, maybe being a little bit more
stoic and not like cussing everybody out, like wanting to
fight and shit like that like that, that's to me,
that's not masculinity. Masculinity is more assertive, is more calculated.
But really, those, when you think about it, are those
not feminine traits? I think women we think more critically,
(28:57):
right clinically, I believe.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I feel like we haven't been allowed to be our
greatest feminine selves as black women. We don't just get
to like exist, be solved and be just cared for
and docile. I don't ever, I don't ever remember the
(29:25):
women in my life being able to just live in
that type of energy and be just cared for. They're
always taking care of business, always handling everything, always responsible
for everybody, even the men.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
And I think so now I'm more so in a
mindset is that I am now forcing you. I'm forcing
whoever I deal with to be the man I'm no longer.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
But you can't force nobody, That's.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
What That's what I'm saying. So right now I'm just
the fuck is just me existing? Right? So I don't
want to have to force somebody to be what it
is that whatever it is a man is, and whatever
masculinity actually looks like, because it's really not for women
to define, you know what I'm saying, So men have
(30:14):
to define it. But I know it doesn't look like
cussing your kids and wife out. That's not what the
fuck masculinity looks like. And you definitely can't talk to
me fucking crazy. So I don't know, But.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
What are the kids and wife doing?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I think his shit came out of frustration because he
does everything for his family.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Okay, well then that's fair.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
That's not fair, you know, you just because you are
the provider. So you mean to tell me if you
were to actually lock in a nigga who's like full
provider all your needs. He then gets to cuss you
out when he gets frustrated. If I deserve it, what
could you do to possibly deserve that.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Maybe I'm he doing everything and I'm just being so
ungrateful and the kids don't listen and I'm just being
a bitch. Maybe I deserve to shut the fuck up, Timmy. Yes, yes, yes, daddy,
see you toxic. You don't believe that. Sometimes people deserve
(31:16):
they need to get cussed out.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I don't never need anybody to tell me to shut
the fuck up. Sometimes you do who the fuck you
talking to?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Sometimes you need to shut the fuck up, though, no.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Never, you don't never need to shut When I need
to shut the fuck up, I don't be talking, and
see that's just whused when I'm talking.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
That's when you think. But sometimes other people, especially a partner,
might feel like, hey, you need to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
That's not what I've heard though in my relationships. What
I've heard in my relationships is that I be building
recal charges against niggas, Like I just let all these
things add up and then I finally say something about it.
Right now, it's the fucking problem that why didn't you
say this before? Like if I had said something every
single infraction, then I'd be nagging. So what is it
(32:06):
that you really want?
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Yeah, but don't nobody want no Rico.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Nigga said, I'd be building a Rico charge. Like it's
not a Rico cases that I don't nag about every infraction,
you know what I'm saying. And then, especially like when
you cohabitating with somebody, you have to be cognizant and
conscious that it's not just you, right, so you gotta
you gotta make that other person comfortable and you expect
the same thing because y'all have to be in one
(32:40):
place forever together. So no, I'm not nagging by every
little fucking thing, right, But if one need to lead
to the next and then to the next, to the
next and next. Now by the yeah, it Rico is
fucking pending.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
I'll go that's a good practice.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Then. The only time I think that's a good practice
is when you stacking them up to leave. Otherwise, you
should address everything as it happens if it bothers you. Yeah,
but let's just stacking them up to say, Hey, this
is why I'm leaving. Then don't don't pull that.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
I've definitely done that too.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Bit y'all write a journal or a nigga.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I have a whole journal letter written say hey, this
is exactly why we're no longer. I have definitely done.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
That because one thing I don't like is let's say
I have an issue with my man and I bring
him the issue, and then instead of him addressing that issue,
he goes to tell me something from last May that
made him mad. It's like, why didn't you tell me
when it made you mad? Why are you trying to deflect.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
From one your thing today?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yeah, don't do that now, because you're just trying to
like minimize what I'm saying by something that you were
set about it in May and I could have corrected
that and May had you said something. But now I'm
just pissed off. Yeah, and nobody hearing nobody at this point.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
So back to men saying that they're simple. Another example
of that is I'm simple. I don't need much. My
needs are basic, and that translates to feed me, fuck me, y,
let me chill, and don't ask me any questions, right,
But what's really underneath? Okay, so you know It may
(34:29):
seem low maintenance on the surface, but it may also
mean that they're just really suppressing like their emotions. And
men often say how they have nobody to talk to, right,
they don't talk to their friends, they don't talk to
they women like, they don't tell people what they're actually
experiencing on the inside. And some may think that's masculinity, right,
(34:51):
just just dealing and not actually speaking up and saying
when something's bothering you, when you're having a problem.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
But I think that's not even black a man thing.
I think that's a black thing. We are definitely like
we just deal shit happening. We just keep going, just
keep pushing. That's it. Hm, talk to nobody just.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I don't okay. So like the clitical counter, the clitical
thinking counter to that is, it doesn't mean you have
to be like emotionally unavailable. Do you actually know what
you need? Are you used to not even being asked
what the fuck you need? Because men ask what you
bring it to the table, But what do you need
(35:36):
on the table? Do you know what you need as
a man? Do you know what you need out your partner?
If you ask a man that, half the time they
don't fucking know, don't know, They don't know what they
want to eat, and they keep putting it on us
as if we don't know what we want to eat.
Imagine if your niggas say, uh, what you want to
eat and you be like, I don't care, just whatever
(35:58):
in the first place, he says you like, yeah, that
would kill that whole argument, right. It's really because they
don't know what they want to eat, so they yeah,
so they put it on us. That's a small example
of how the responsibility we so responsible for everybody.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
But here's the thing, because I've had that happen. He'd
be like, what you want to eat? And I'm like,
I don't know, I don't care, and he picked something,
I'd be like I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Or you pick something. He'd get there with the menu
and like, I don't see nothing out here I want.
You had an opportunity to choose, so that shit could
go both ways. Why is the onus always on a woman?
Why I got to be concerned about your stomach and mine?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
What do you mean, like, that's the woman's job to
be like the the nourishment, yeah, the nutrition for the family, not.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
In the dating. I guess right when you.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
If I see a whole fat family is the mama fault.
Don't kill me, y'all, don't sorry.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I agree. I agree because I remember when one of
my sisters is she extra fine right now, chiad, but
you know she'd be letting her family stow eat bullshit
while she's dyeting. That is not okay. I need you
to make sure that they're eating whole foods as well,
Like you know what I'm saying. You want to be
the only one alive because that's what I'm seeing.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
My nephew beating fucking h noodles. Them sit got eight
hundred milligrams.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Of sodium in it them, chit is so high they're
not even It's not even real food. I listen, if
it was apocalypse and that was all that was left
to eat, I would just go ahead and die. I
cannot stay in a fucking pack of noodles because I
ate so much of that shit between middle school and
high school, I ate it everywhere you could think of it.
Put an egg in it, put some sausage. I even
(37:46):
ate noodles dry before, Like.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
That's a real struggle meal. That's really disgusting.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
It's gross. I'll never eat another noodle heck of noodles,
forget about it. I did used to like those little
cup noodles with the peas and stuff in there, even
like those not even peas, that is three D printed piece.
We got the fucking people's theay old dried ass three
D shit.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
All right, y'all. So we're going to go through like
clinical thinking versus critical thinking so you can get better
understand where it is I'm coming from, right, So let's
break this zern real quick, because like traditional critical thinking
is like spreadsheets and fucking data analytics and shit like that,
and again, like clinical thinking is based off of lived experience,
like your intuition. So critical thinking is like logical, objective, rational,
(38:46):
right analytical, like step by step detached from emotion. Uh
typically masculin coded clinical thinking is intuitive emotionally intelligent. Okay,
So I think that most of the most of the
people who claim to be emotional intelligent or have emotional
(39:09):
intelligence are probably women, right, because we do tap into
our emotions a little bit more. We do anticipate others,
the needs of others over ours a lot of times,
you know what I'm saying. We know what you need
before you even know what you need. That's what emotional
intelligence is. And you know, I don't think men are
even programmed to think in that way, but we want
(39:31):
them to have all of this emotional intelligence. We think
that's what we want from them. I don't know. Critical
thinking is also like informed by patterns, just people's vibes,
past experiences, rooted in self trust and boundary setting. So
for example, say, for instance, your ex like calls you
(39:52):
like one o'clock in the morning. In the morning, right,
you chilling, drinking wine, listening to music. Critical thinking to
have you thinking like, I wonder what he wants, right,
I wonder if it's if it's an emergency. Clitical thinking
would be like, man, fuck him. I'm not answering the phone.
(40:12):
You just block him midphone call and keep drinking a
wine and listening to music. That's political thinking. I don't
need to know what this nick needs. I don't care. Okay,
I'm gonna just block his ass because I already know
what that involves, already know what he coming for, So
(40:33):
why even engage?
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Girl? I listen, that's so crazy because I one of
my old thing things.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Hot shits, what do they call him find shits just
ships one of my old one of my old shits.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Go message me do him? Oh no on Facebook message?
Please why? I just need to talk to you, please
and block me. So I unblocked this a motherfucker and
he called me and he gonna say some bullshit about
do my other ex nigga that he know about still
(41:17):
sell weed?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I was like, so he calling you for pluck talk? Yeah,
not you to connect. I hung up so fast, not
your relationship manager.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
And reblock that nigga just as quick, like.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Fads, Like, nigga, what you trying to sat my other
nigga up?
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I don't know what you talk about? One ship up
from another ship. I ain't got nothing to do with that.
Put two ships together?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yeah, like and after Oftentimes they don't want nothing, right, you.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Don't want nothing, Leave me alone. I don't know. I
don't do drugs. Leave me alone.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Here's another example. So you've gone on like three amazing dates,
but your gut is uneasy. Right, So they're attractive or
like successful, consistent, and maybe I should keep seeing them.
But your critical thinking is he gives like love bombing, right, disappear?
(42:20):
He might disappear later, like your nervous system is on
edge fucking with this person. You just know something's.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Off with him.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
He might have even did he probably didn't even do
anything just yet, but you just know that is your
clitical thinking skills kicking in, which could probably save your
fucking life. Because many relationships, I most relationships I've been in,
I probably should have left day one. It was some
shit that happened. I just was like, let me get
(42:55):
the fuck up out of here aboard mission. And I
stayed for a couple of years.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
But here's nobody's gonna be perfect, though, So it's okay
to like ignore something, mind is.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
It, though? Because if we look at the data of
these relationships, is it good to ignore? I mean, if I.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Don't want to say directions like you don't like I
hate too, you know, sit like that. You can get
past that, all right, or you can groom that into
something else.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
But if you see that is the problem, y'all. Bitch,
Just thinking y'all could change people At this big age,
people do change. I don't agree people mass you feel like.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
You're the same person you was when we started this show.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Uh No, you've grown listen, but so growing and changing.
Are those the same thing? Is that the same thing?
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Because I really I've been literally the same person, and
even like no, let me, let me not lie because
I'd be reading some like some of my old Facebook
shit and Twitter shit. I had to delete that stuff,
like what the fuck was I talking about?
Speaker 2 (44:08):
You're dumb?
Speaker 1 (44:09):
What you talking about?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
You got to say? We're changing and growing every day.
So just even the I just went and listened to
like our first episode, I'm like super Hero like night
or some bullshit. I was saying, what did you talk about? Ass?
(44:32):
So yeah, so people do change, People do grow people
and men too, especially when they start they did stop
working as good, they really start changing.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Then it's interesting they have daughters.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
They start changing when they had little girls. Stuff like
that will change a man. But don't nothing them change
them worse than they did stopping.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Looky humble them a little bit.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Yeah, that Dick's change up or the desires.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I don't even know if that's true, because I feel
like they still be wanting to put that gummy worm
on a bitch, like just still just getting a new
bitch to show her the gummy worm. It's still exciting
to them. They don't care about being embarrassed. They retired
that wet rag. They just want to stuff it in
as many bitches as possible. All right, So like a
(45:27):
friend keeps subtly throwing shade critical thinking, maybe I'm just
being too sensitive. Let me watch a few more interactions
to confirm clinical thinking. That comment hit sideways. She's not
for me. Distance activated. You know what time it is like,
(45:48):
don't trick yourself into thinking somebody ain't doing what they're doing.
I have been around people where somebody says some sideways shit.
I'm gonna address it right then and there, because I
have lit things like sliding get home, like saying I
should have, would have, could have, and I'd be disappointed
with myself, like damn, I should have. I should have
fucking cussed that bitch out. I should have Da da
da da da.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
It's a hitch from two thousand. It was twenty twelve
that I still think about because her mother fucking NaNs
out and I let some shit she said slide, and
I used to regret it right to day, I still
like I be laying in bed like I should have
if I fire a bitch to this day.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Look, I have a first cousin that I don't fuck
with on any level in my mind right because of
it might have been around like it might have been
earlier in twenty twelve. Did I even tell you all
this story? So my cousin asked me to be in
her wedding.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Oh yeah, you just share no hold on.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
She didn't ask me to be in her wedding. She
asked me to be the usher. Yeah, okay, this is
my first cousin. So imagine you living in Atlanta and
a bitch you asking you to come to South Carolina
to come to her wedding, but be an usher. Right.
So when I thought about it, I'm like, I don't
think I want to do that. I talked to my
mom about it. She was like, girl, you don't want
(47:10):
be no usher? So I called her back. I said, hey,
you know what I think I prefer just like attending
the wedding, right girl? Why I got to the U.
She had a bridal shower, and I guess her maid
of honor. Her bestie was like the spokesperson for the
shit they had spoke about me, and she was introducing
each of us. She introduced my sister Sam first. She's like, yes,
(47:33):
my cousin Sam. This is my cousin introducing us to
her maid of honor. And this is my cousin Sam,
and this is Ashley and the homegirl these aka bitches too.
The homegirl was like, oh, she's not in the wedding,
she's not a bridesmaid, usher or anything. And my voice
literally was gone, y'all, I have fucking like laryngitis or
(47:55):
something like I had no voice, so imagine me. I
would sound like this trying to curse the bitch out.
But this is how my cousin let some random bitch
play with me. My cousin barely know my fucking life,
and I'm still holding a grudge to this day. I
still want to have that conversation with her because I'm
trying to figure out why the fuck y'all thought y'all
could play on me just because I didn't want to
serve food to my family at this big, immaculate wedding, Like,
(48:20):
why would you try to like downgrade me to a
fucking server? Am I tripping? Y'all?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Girl, So my best friend at the time, she was
dating my first cousin's brother, so she's dating my cousin.
She ended up doing it with she ended up doing
it instead. They were black and white like a fucking waitress,
and she had people from the church doing it. Why
did you need me to do that?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
So you were the only family member that was gonna
be an usher?
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yes, yes, my other cousins was bridemaids. Why do I
don't want to and I live I live at a
town we barely speak, Like your mind told you to
call me to do that, And it's not like I like.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Maybe cooking and wanted you to help with the food.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Imagine like one of these Instagram weddings. That's how her
reception looked. I mean, big long rolls of full like
all this food, like these ushers. That the thing that
she wanted me to do, what my best friend was
doing was serving food to our family with a black
and white outfit on Why would you have your first
(49:35):
cousin doing that?
Speaker 2 (49:39):
So I get that in the event that no family
was working, then I get while I was like, why
are you only ask me and you got people outside
of the family doing everything, but I'm the only family member.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
But then you came with people, it came with staff.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
It was just like I need my family to help
assist to make this they beautiful. Then I would not
mind a mind doing that. I wouldn't mind being an
usher because it's not about me. It's about her, her
beautiful day, and this is my cousin. I want her
to have a beautiful day, so I will I'll help
because when it's my turn, I'm gonna need everybody in
this stand.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
I would never call my first cousin and ask her
to serve food at my wedding. I would never do
that to her if it was that's a grading. That's
how I felt. That was highly degrading, Like I'm your
first cousin, Like, why would you want me serving food
to our family?
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Families? Families do that though family.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Yeah, this ain't even no bullshit wedding though, See you're
not thinking on the scale, I said, one of these
Instagram fucking wedding is the ship was immaculate. Why and
I bought the fucking beautiful dress to wear to her wedding?
Speaker 2 (50:44):
That's it because it wasn't like that. It wasn't like
a situation where the whole family was, you know, yah.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Pitching it and helping. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't
nothing like that. My homegirl was fucking pissed the whole
time because she didn't know what all It wouldn't tell
either when she is stept the position as an usher. Yeah,
and she was serving us food. That's that's fucked up
to have your brother's girlfriend, who should be his date
at your wedding doing that. But because they used to
(51:13):
have a problem with her, because they my uncle, their
dad never really fucked me. I mean from a little girl.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
He would say shit like me, oh hair cousin is
glamor queen like still to this date, that's how you
treat me.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
So I feel like that kind of rubbed off on
like his kids and how they see me. Well, maybe
not my boy cousins, but it's something there. So yeah,
I still have like, yeah, some anna, I have some
anna about that.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Have you seen this cousin?
Speaker 1 (51:41):
Absolutely, But I just feel like now I can't address
it because then it would be petty. But it bothers
you very seventeen years and divorce's so married, So I like,
I just gotta let it go. But I'm telling y'all
because like, who the fuck else I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
Tell that she happened to the show about it.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
And then we'll talk about it at that time. And
you know what the worst thing about it is people
do things and then when you address it, they I
don't even remember that, yeah, because you weren't on the
receiving end of the bullshit.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
But sometimes people don't even know that they're offending you.
So that's why it's important to address it, like I didn't.
I don't remember it because I didn't know it was
a thing.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Oh she's not a bridesmaid usher or anything. Why do
you ask my sister that?
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Right? It was introduced right before me. They had That's
what I fucking know.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
And this is what clinical thinking is, right, It's just
you knowing the bullshit. It can't nobody tell you any different, bitch,
because it's a gut feeling. It is an inner knowing
that cannot be fucking debated. I'm not tripping, y'all. Bitches
tried me. Y'all really tried it. So I was never
(53:00):
able to address it. So I still that shit might
have been two thousand and nine, bitch, I'm go, lie,
I much g lie. It might have been like two
thousand and nine. I still feel some type of way
about that shit, because why did I deserve that? That's
what bothers.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Me when people the fuck you think you are, you
fly ass dish coming up in here, think you go
upstage the bride. You ain't gonna do that this time, bitch,
serve out that chicken ho that's what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
And here's the thing, here's my personality. When I tell y'all,
when I get married, y'all motherfuckers better show up like this,
y'all wedding. That's how I feel. That's how confident I
am about myself. I know that's where that bullshit came from, right,
them not wanting me to show up in all my
mother fucking glory but for my wedding. Bitch, if you
were the wedding party, if you just a wedding, guess
(53:44):
when I tell y'all, y'all better act like this, y'all
shit for birthdays. I want everybody to be extra fucking fine.
I never like one of those people do don't want
their friends to outdress them on their fucking birthday. That
is weird.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
O't behave to care about my birthday, but aren't my wedding.
Please don't come in a white dress.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
Don't come in here wed bit your whole ass and
should have having a white dress anyway, you don't wear one, bitch,
wear a black dress my wedding. I don't be like,
do you hate me?
Speaker 1 (54:17):
Because yeah, but it's never going to like a wedding
gown though, you know what I'm saying. So even if
somebody were to have on a white dress, it's never
going to like a wedding gown.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
Tacky ass bitch coming in a white dress to a wedding,
I'll be I'll be like, this is an all white wedding.
Why are you here? Are you trying to give your
man a message? Propos bitch?
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Maybe and listen it's all open over here. Yes, do that.
And if you feel beautiful today, I want everybody to
feel good.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
But I don't want you to be tacky. Don't be
taking I don't think that's tacking. Don't be attagging. Bitch.
I invited you because I didn't think you were one,
and here you come being one.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
You can listen where anything where motherfucking tied out to this, motherfucker.
Don't come in white.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Leave like a black tie event. No white even black tie,
no white.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
No, no white dress. You can have a dress with
white in it with you.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
I want everybody look back to you and escorting me
out of the winds. I got uninvited. And after she
showed up.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
Right, the bride will call you later. That's what they're
gonna tell you as you leave out. The mother bitch.
Speaker 1 (55:44):
I don't want it all these years to get married.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
You come into my ship in a white dress. You
gotta be fucked up.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
But there's no way for her to look like you
though on that day. That's how I'm confused. No, you're
damn right you won't because you won't, y'all, head at
you've been mourned.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
Yes, it advans, but I think all my friends know
that they got sense enough to know not to come
to a wedding in a white dress unless it's all
white wedding where some people have that where everybody comes
in white, which I don't like that either. Yeah, but yeah,
(56:20):
don't do that.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
Look at your little ponytails up in the riverside picture.
You see it, all right, So y'all, Clitical thinking doesn't
mean ignore logic at all, right, So it just adds
like an extra layer of protection, Okay. Emotional wisdom pattern
recognition based on just the fucking truth, right, It's just
(56:46):
you know, that's intelligence too. So don't let anybody tell
you that you making shit up, that it's just feelings,
or that you overreacting, bitch. You know what you know,
and that's clinical thinking. So it's not over analyzing everything.
Is not ignoring facts of feelings or facts four feelings,
I should say. Or it's just not like just being pest,
(57:09):
petty or sassy. It's just recognizing the patterns again, knowing
your fucking gut and trusting that inner feeling. That's it.
That is what clitical thinking is. Hat's coming soon, all right.
So you know what I do want people to do.
(57:29):
I want y'all to send me, send me some send
us some messages, uh with like your best Uh? He
said he was simple, but stories. That's what I want
to see, Like mint, When what did a man tell you?
Like he said, I'm simple, but such and such and
how did he actually act? Right? All men say that
(57:50):
they're simple and they have these minimal needs. I want
to hear the stories.
Speaker 2 (57:58):
Let's hear it. Let's hear that, because.
Speaker 1 (58:01):
Them niggas ain't simple anyway, You good, Tammy?
Speaker 2 (58:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (58:09):
Last, all right, y'all. If you enjoyed this episode, y'all
tune in every Thursday and a black Effect. iHeart radio
w app whatever the fuck you get your podcast that
This show co hosts a j holiday. On instagrams, y'all, follow, subscribe, share,
share the podcast with your besties. Leave a review if
(58:30):
you're feeling froggy. I wish I could fucking comment back
on reviews, but it's all welcome. Thank you. We want
we want the listeners, we want the spens.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Okay, all right, y'all sofiicial team BAM. I love y'all
so much. Remember speak now.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
And never hold your motherfucker piece. Okay, never never hold
your gut feelings. Click some clip notes.
Speaker 2 (59:00):
Yes,
Hoping, and we talk back where we encourage you to
hustle hard, laugh louder, and always.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Keep it cute. So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Because it's about to go down.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
talks back.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
What's up, y'all? It's your girl a j holiday. What's hey, y'all?
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm so happy?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
What the fuck was that right?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
I'm sorry, hey, y'all. I love y'all so very much.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Geeking out right quick?
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I thought it was happening. I'm so happy. I don't
know if it's all right, y'all. I got all my
weave out and I got two balls and it just
makes me feel so youthful and just full of life
or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Interesting my edges. Look, are you gonna get you some
rolls oil?
Speaker 2 (01:02):
They're growing back now.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
We got out here, I was like, bitch, you got
your real hair out? I hear that.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
What was smooth right there? It's some hair you.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Got the ad just flourishing for the summer.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Don't play with me. Don't play with me.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I should have gotten me some braids. I just don't
feel like putting them in and taking them out though
it's just a whole process.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Yes, but the in between time is so glorious.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Because I be in yoga with a fucking wig scarf on.
It wouldn't be wigging for the gym now there's a
wig scarf. When I tell y'all, y'all, fuck that gym. Shit. Man,
I think I'm about to just only do hot yoga
because when I tell y'all, I burn way more calories
than forty five minutes, and hot yoga like six hundred
calories and forty five minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I can't do nothing hard.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Yeah, you damn. They can't breathe in that bitch. But
and I be right in there like tussling and do
all them positions. Hiah looking stupid. I already know.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
That's how everybody looks stupid when they start.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
But my hip hurt a little bit today. But see that.
The thing is, I need this fucking stretch more.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yes, I'm on day fifty eight of my seventy five
hart and I look at the beginning pictures and the
pictures now and I can tell, like my face, like
I can see my body is changing. But I don't
know why I thought that I would be looking like
Billy Blanks by now, and I don't you know, So
(02:25):
I just knew by the time I got to sixty,
I was gonna be ripped up. But that's not how
it worked. Like the training was like, I mean, this
is seventy five days.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
It's good, but these not good results.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, yeah, I got I got good results. But I
just thought I was gonna look like I don't know
what I thought. I just thought, yeah, by the time
I get to sixty, are.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
You doing like creatine and stuff like that, because I
put creatine into my little regimen. You know what I'm saying.
I know I don't eat enough protein though.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Bro. That's that has been like the hardest part for me,
outside of drinking all that water every day. The protein
I've been doing. Like I found these muffins called Bootylicious muffins,
and they're low calorie, low carb. They taste yeah, and
they taste nice, and they got twenty five grams of protein.
It comes like in a powder form and you gotta
(03:17):
add water or milk or whatever, and I just add
protein shake as my milk to it. And they're actually good.
So I have those in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You gotta bake them, that's what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
The microwave cause like a little cup, like a noodle cup,
and you just mix it with your water or whatever
you want to put in it. And they put in
the microwave for a minute fifteen seconds and it's a
little muffin in a pot and it's so good. And
I have that with my black coffee in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Nice. And that's I just had two eggs this morning.
I don't eat enough, man.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, that's what I realized. You're supposed to have a
grammar protein for every pound in your body. Who are
you eating that much protein in a day?
Speaker 1 (03:56):
And then because I don't eat meat, like it's hard,
Like I'm tied of salmon. I don't eat when salmon
tay's weird nowadays. So I bought like a big ass
from Costco. I bought like a big ass box of
lobster tails for like two hundred dollars. It was like
twenty lobster tails, like the big ones too. Yeah, because
it was gonna sell Mother's Day weekend, So I bought.
(04:17):
So I beat lobster tails scallos. I made a little
fry loft sale. That's girl's imagine like if you go
to a restaurant and got a lobster dinner. How much
that's gonna cost you. It's gonna be two hundred dollars
for that want meal you and somebody else. So I
got a whole box of them. That is actually not rich,
that's rich broke.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Well, that's that's actually really good. And I noticed that
you've been back to Costco, but you haven't mentioned my candle.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
But they don't have them no more. They're gone. I
didn't see them when I went back in there.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
I wanted that really badly.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I'm sorry, you know, I would have had to win
the very next day that we talked about it, and
I didn't, you know, But you should be able to
order it online. I'll give you my Costco account and
you could order it to your house online. Anything that
you see that you might want, usually it's on the
Costco website. Then that way you could just ship that
ship to your house without stepping foot in the Costco.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Okay, that's cool. I also wanted you to buy it,
but it's okay. I'll just.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Girl, where the fuck was I putting that that thing was?
That thing is the size of a waste basket for
a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, it's so big. I love it.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You gotta be careful with candles because a lot of
them shit toxic. Man, you want a big, big, stupid
ass toxic can do in your house.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I want that. I want that toxic shit in the house.
I want that candle.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I was your weekend. I ain't do much this past weekend.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
My weekend I hit. I hit a wall this weekend, Auntie,
you is tired. I could do no more. I could
do no more. I just had to rest. I had to.
I mean I did my works but like I literally
did my workouts and got in the bed. That was it.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I mean I went to m hmm, that'd be fun.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
Yeah. I did enjoy laying in the bed all day.
Like on Sunday, I did my workout and then I
got back in the bed. I tried to go. I
was trying. I was supposed to go to New York.
It didn't work out, but God said, lay down, and
that's what I did. Shout out to Taylor. Taylor had
her baby shower Sunday. I missed it. I sent her
(06:31):
some nice things. I literally I'm broke right down, because stop.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Saying you broke girl. In between blessings and bitch ain't
never broke.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Okay, I'm in between blessings cuz five bitches, I never
had baby showers this week. That's five hundred dollars gone,
just buying everybody some shit, trying to you know, trying
to bless everybody baby. And I just pray over that money.
(07:00):
When I spend it on y'all day, it comes back
to me.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
You're not spending it, You're circulating it. You see. Gotta
chose those words wisely so the money can come back.
So you circulated the money and bought the gifts, and
it's coming right back around.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Why I've been fucking.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
We ain't even fucking enough, because where's my goddamn baby, y'all?
My birthday Sunday? Where is my baby?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
And then you don't never have no birthday party. I'm
sick of you.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I don't because it's like, listen, I like to celebrate.
I'm kind of sick of America. Maybe if I maybe
I could plan a trip for real, like I wanted
to do a solo trip. And I didn't even execute
on that shit.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Okay, you bullshit it on that.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I know I did. And now I'm like I don't
want to spend that type of I wanted to go
to Barbados, and I don't want to spend that type
of money on the fucking flight now. And I only
can go for like a couple of days, you know,
I want to go for the whole fucking week, pack
the fucking cat up and be out.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, why you can't, Why you can't.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna
do something because I do want to definitely be on
the beach this weekend. So I'm gonna figure it out
last minute, hop in the car or the plane and
get out of here for a couple of days.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah, do it.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
I want to figure it out. I am making me
some fairy wings. Now what I heard recently, okay, because
what I did do this weekend is bought some fucking furnitures,
some new furniture. And one of my homegirls, who uh
picked the chairs up I needed, she helped me with
her truck. As she was leaving, I told her I
was making fairy wings. So I did arts and craft
(08:36):
this weekend and she told me, did you know, like
the fairy shit is like another word for prostitution. I'm
disgusted with you niggas. What How the fuck would y'all
pervert fairies? Yes, they're saying fair I googled it. It's
saying like fairy if if a woman says she's a fairy,
that's like a cold word for selling pussy.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Damn not tinker Bell being out here selling ass the
whole time and we ain't even know.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I am so sick of niggas, man Like, why do
we pervert everything? Why we make everything positive and magical?
Like as negative as possible? You know, why does that happen?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I was so disgusted I ain't gonna lie. I need
to eat lunch because when you said fair wings, I
thought she was making.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Some fair wing. How you like low gold dust like
low goal uh oh, sweet sour sauce, like some little
gold flakes or something like that lemon pepper shame. Yeah,
(09:48):
but I didn't do much this weekend. I did hot
yogat and made some fucking fairy wings. That's it.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Let's get this.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So, y'all, this is this is so for me. Okay,
I don't know how y'all feel, but it says a
new study. I don't know how I knew it is
but it says new study shows women find men sixty
percent more attractive if he can do manly task like
mow the yard, fix the car, and pick her up
and then use the imagery from a baby boy you
(10:19):
remember his mama with ben Rhyme's getting picked up in
that kitchen. Yes, live okay, it's so funny to find
you know. Did you ever see the video? I think
she was on a breakfast club. I can't remember. I
think she was a breakfast club. AJ. She said that
she did like a threesome for her fiftieth birthday, but
it was actually with two men. I mean that's a threesome.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Some people may consider it a train but she said, yeah,
is it a It's only a threesome if they distouched right?
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Why because they like by at that point?
Speaker 2 (10:53):
No, because I thought everybody's having sexual with everybody.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
That's what I thought. So too, that's what I thought.
But anyway over here, unlet's just pp So it's a
steady show. Women find men up to sixty percent more
attractive when they can do manly tasks like change the oil,
chop wood more lawn, carry her with ease or drop
(11:17):
and do push ups. It's not just man chocolate, some wood,
me too. It's not just the muscles, it's the competence
fixing things, lifting, heavy handling business without calling for help.
And in a world of soft talkers and filters, being
hands on is the new sexy. I've always been like,
(11:40):
I like dirty niggas, like I like mechanics. I like
fucking truck drivers. I like niggas who could build me
a house. Definitely niggas who chop wood. Those are my
kind of guys.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
It's this nigga on Instagram. He got that curly hair,
brown skin, and he'd be out there chopping wood.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Fine nigga be eating that fucking watermelon face. Yes, yes, yes, yeah,
we like that, like you know, a.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
New study that shit always been training.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I don't think we women don't end up with these
type of guys, though, you know what I'm saying. You
either end up with somebody you gotta do all the things,
or maybe he has the finances to pay for somebody
to do the things. But I really I like to
do things even if I have the money, Like I
don't want to spend it on certain things that I
can read a book and figure out, or watch YouTube
and figure it out, so bitch be undereath the hood
of the car and all the things. And I like
(12:31):
men who do that, who do those same type of
things like I like, I like problem solvers. I like uh, troubleshooters.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I don't like I'm not getting under no car. I'll
change a tire if I have to, and there's no
cars passing by, and I can't just put a leg
out into the street.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
But I just feel accomplished when I do things, you
know what I'm saying. I like taking it apart and
putting it back together. That's just what I like.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
So I like somebody who can compliment that type activity.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
My ex girldmama was like, don't dumping yet. I need
him to finish the towel in my kitchen. We did
that Chile bitch in the kitchen, and not immediately, so
if you're listening, you know that. Really we were just laughing,
me and my mama, You're bestie, was just laughing and
joking and playing right. But shortly thereafter, yes, bitch, I
(13:29):
didn't after I got her Chile.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
So cam Brian had the exotic dancer that was a
part of the Cassie and Diddy case. That black man
came out with the book Freezer Meat, and he proceeds
to ask him was the pussy good? Like let us
know how to put what the pussy was hitting for?
(13:55):
And I thought that was so crash and just ugh.
But then at the same time, I was like, I
might have wanted to know, nasty. No, I don't want
to know if Cassie pussy is good about Cassie's vagina.
But I mean, I'm just thinking about how like I
talked with my friends. They tell me they had, you know,
(14:17):
fun over the weekend. I might want it to be
like what that they care for?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
You send me a video?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, so I get why he might have asked that,
but she is also a victim, and it's very public,
and it just seemed very inappropriate to ask that man
at And he didn't even answer the question. Basically, he
(14:43):
was like, I don't I couldn't even tell you because
I just wasn't in it, Like I was very concerned
with my sexuality being tested by Diddy the whole time.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
You know, it's just about him saying it on like
a public platform, because I mean, of course we have
these d these conversations, and you know, there's really no
man that believes that Cassie is a victim. Unfortunately a
very small percentage, and they're probably from our gay community.
Regular heterosexual men feel like Cassie got what she deserved.
(15:18):
Cassie was doing all the things because she wanted to
do it. Cassie was a willing participant. A lot of
them don't see the abuse part, you know what I'm saying.
They don't see the coaching, the grooming, they don't see it.
They just you know, she signed up for that shit.
That's really how they feel. So that's why.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Cameron can get on the fucking podcast and asks, what's
the plessy good?
Speaker 1 (15:40):
That is so disgusting? He get, oh my goddamn nerve,
Like what the fuck happened to his airline? He was like,
it just got so like he didn't get a new barber,
that nigga. That shit that got pushbacks. It like a
half moon. It like the moon right now, dog Crescent.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
It was just inappropriate. It was a valid question that
I feel like men ask each other all the time.
But it just was you got to read the room,
you know, you gotta read the room, and that just
was not nice or nobody wanted to hear that. Regarding
this situation, I.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Think, yeah, I could have lived without it, because you
sent me that post and all I said was ill.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
I said yuck when I got it, when I it
was sent to me, it just.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Was like, you said that out loud, growing ass, fucking
fifty old nigga. Shut up anyway, You're too.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Old to be just behaving that way.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Yeah. So so. Glorilla recently changed her profile picture to
Michael Jackson after the nose job allegations.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
It ain't allegation, she said she did.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Yeah she did, and it clearly looks like she got
a nose job. I don't know how you feel about that.
What do they call it? Rhinoplasty.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I'm an advocate of do whatever makes you happy. I didn't.
I liked her own nose, but it's about her liking
her nose. So if she liked a new nose, you know,
I'm here for it. I don't have no but they
eating her up because people are not happy with her nose.
(17:27):
You know, people are not liking the nose. And then
another girl I can't remember who got there is done.
They was like, you gotta let that nose sit a
little while for to heal and take it the actual
point it says it takes like a year usually. So yeah,
do you think made.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Sallion and got her nose done? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Her does does look different?
Speaker 1 (17:53):
I think a lot of people, I mean, Beyonce clearly
has a nose job. A lot of people there. Most
people I believe probably got this type of work done.
We know Cardi B got a nose job. Mary J.
Blige got to know his job. Look, Kim got a
million those jobs. Like most people in the industry, they
(18:14):
end up.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
Removing their daddy's noses, Like this is my daddy knows
I want and it's wide and.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Girl, my nose big as a motherfucker. This is my daddy.
Daddy knows all day long, and I'm gonna keep it.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Yeah, this is my nigga knows and I love it.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah, you can put enough makeup on it. You could
put like some contouring on it.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
You wanted to have a point, you can contour it.
But I don't even care about that. It's these titties.
I want to do something. That's why I got no
judging for nobody that if I go on a vacation,
doing that suction thing to my titties. You know what I'm
talking about?
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Yo, may do the booty. Yeah, that's gonna look crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I'm gonna do it. It's probably be bruised up the
whole vacate these bruised.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
And the last night of vacation, your titty is gonna
be gone. Wait a minute, motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Again, put your right here real hard so they can swell.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Look lead them teddies alone the ship that we be
worrying about, Like, men do not give a fuck. They
don't so I know it right under. I know we
say it's for us, right half the things we do?
Is it really though? Yes?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
For us?
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Mm hmmm, because niggas don't care.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
I told you he's second laid back and he's.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
I don't know. Good luck with her in her nose,
like I mean, she's a pretty girl regardless, Like Glorilla
is really a pretty girl in person. She got like
a little distinct unique look, but she's a pretty girl.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
She looked like principal Hogh Tower to me. I don't
know her really with her she was beautiful, like that's
her kid or something, right, Yeah, she could have very
well been her daughter mm hm.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Anyway, shout out to the new noses hid y'all have
fun with that, y'all. So today we want to talk
about clinical thinking, not to be confused with critical thinking. Okay,
so what's that you ask. It's more of a way
of thinking. It's more of a way of thinking that
(20:29):
blends intuition, emotional intelligence, wisdom, and basically like lived experience.
It's that fucking gut feeling you know that women have. Right,
it's clinical thinking that we're using. So it's like logic
with a libido. Basically, I can't wait to get We'll
(20:50):
be back, all right, y'all. So we're back and we're
talking clinical thinking today, right, So that survives gut feelings,
like the feminine intuition that not everybody has, and a
lot of times we don't even be following our shit,
but it's a real thing. You know, how you do
some shit and be like you know what I knew?
(21:12):
I knew better, or like you think something about somebody
and you're like, man, I knew this niggame and shit,
and you still you you ignored your clitical thinking skills.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Basically, So sometimes that clitical thinking can have you think
it wrong too.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I don't think so my clitical thinking be on point.
It may not. It may not.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
Like at the very moment when you some shit happen,
you think back and be like, hmm, I was right.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I'd be fucking knowing.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Sometimes my clitterist has led me a strength. He didn't
do it. He's innocent because I love the nigga so much.
He did that shit. He did that shit.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I think that's your heart. You might have been thinking.
It wasn't the gut feeling.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
It wasn't the gut, it was my glitteriest.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Well, maybe you need to tune yours out. Yours might
not be all I mean, yours might not be on completely.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
Love struck and love struck by somebody that you kind
of like, don't pay attention to logic and reason.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Mm hmm. Yeah, but you thought it though, right, So
your clitical thinking kicked in. But then I think my.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Critical thinking kicked in. But my clitical thinking.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
No, the clinical thinking ain't gonna never like lead you wrong.
That's what I'm saying. It's your heart and your mind
that be fucking you up. The clinical thinking is that.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I need out of the equation. I probably would have
kept my good sense.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
So what is a clinical thinker? One might ask, Right,
So it's something in my spirit that says the same, right,
and that's enough. That's all I really need. Right, boundaries
are just not up for debate. I don't need no
more information I need. I know exactly what's happening. And
(23:15):
I picked up on it before you even put it down.
Like that's essentially what clitical thinking is. So it kind
of can be compared to like girl math a little bit. Right,
So the things that make sense to women that don't
make sense to men, because I don't think that men
think as deep as women do, almost subjects relationships life
(23:37):
like they claim to be super simple.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
You just think these niggas is really fucking dumbn't it.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You know, this past weekend I kind of said that
shit to somebody a little bit, a little t.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
T because that is.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I am not hard on men, not at all. I
don't and and really I think collective we may not
be hard enough. They think we'd be being hard, but
we really aren't. I'm not hard on men. I love men,
I love black men in.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Particular, hard on these niggas and.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
You soft on niggas. I might sound like I'm hard
on them on this fucking podcast, but in real fucking life, bitch,
too hard on a nigga? Me, okay, real.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Life, Yeah, I'll be I'll be hard on the Okay,
I'm just talking about it, bitch. I still you give
a nigga more chances than for sure, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So like, I'm talking about it right because the more
women talk about things, that means we are still trying.
It's when you fucking stop talking about ship is when
niggas need to be worried. I don't care about y'all niggas,
no more so, and I am I open. I open
the door for anybody to talk say about whatever they want,
say whatever they want about black women. You know, if
(25:00):
we have there's plenty platforms for that shit. Okay, I do.
I'm not hard on men anyway. I do think a
lot of a lot of them are stupid and they
think that. Huh.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
I don't think these niggas are stupid. I just think,
and I think they do think as deep as us.
I don't think. I just when I say I'm harder
than you, I don't know. I just don't be going forward.
I don't. I don't. That's I guess why I ain't
(25:31):
had no nigga since twenty sixteen. I ain't going for it.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
When I say men are stupid. Okay, when a man
says he's simple, what is he actually saying? Because I
know that men are very, very very like complex, nothing
simple about him.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
When I hear them say the simple, I don't think
simple minded. I think like they just want hot food
and warm cuchie and peace.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
So one thing I listened is I'm simple. I don't
like drama, right that. That's basically like the keywords they're
actually missing there is that I want to do what
the fuck I want to do, and I want you
to shut the fuck up. Okay, When they don't like drama,
that's them not taking accountability. They don't want you.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
They don't want to have to get into the in
depth conversation about something they could have possibly done, or maybe.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
You want something you want change in the relationship. They
don't want to talk about it. They want to be
dismissive of your feelings, and they like to brush us off, like, oh,
you're so emotional. It's not like men. Men are emotional too,
Because we always say motherfucks die whenmen get emotional. So
they just to me, it's just lacking accountability, and they
can just just scapegoat. I don't want to talk about it.
(26:59):
You just full of why you're always complaining, why you
being petty? Because they don't want to take accountability for
what it is that you have a problem with.
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Yeah, that's one reason why someone would say that.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Yeah, because a half the time we're just asking for clarity.
So maybe you're not thinking deep enough. Right. This is
actually stemming from a conversation I had with a grown
man over the weekend. I'm like, man, I ain't calling
you no more. Cool, it's one of my friends. I'm like,
I ain't talking to you no more because he basically
told me that I'm never going to get a nigga
(27:37):
to do all the things I want to do because
I got masculine energy. He threw that shit on me.
You know, the talking points from all the red pill
niggas on these podcasts. I'm a very That's why when
you say I'm hard on man, that is just not true.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Like, I guess I expect what I bring, right, so
like and bring masculine energy.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
How because I feel like to be a well.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Rounded to what you bring. You should expect from a man,
something different than what you're bringing. You should be bringing
in your feminine softness.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
I feel like you got to bring both. I feel
like men should be soft sometimes too. Masculinity is not
just because this friend of mine, to him, masculinity is
like cussing his family out. That is not like that's
you know, men are respectful. That's not masculinity. Like men
have control, right, That to me is masculinity being in
(28:33):
control of your emotions, maybe being a little bit more
stoic and not like cussing everybody out, like wanting to
fight and shit like that like that, that's to me,
that's not masculinity. Masculinity is more assertive, is more calculated.
But really, those, when you think about it, are those
not feminine traits? I think women we think more critically,
(28:57):
right clinically, I believe.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I feel like we haven't been allowed to be our
greatest feminine selves as black women. We don't just get
to like exist, be solved and be just cared for
and docile. I don't ever, I don't ever remember the
(29:25):
women in my life being able to just live in
that type of energy and be just cared for. They're
always taking care of business, always handling everything, always responsible
for everybody, even the men.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
And I think so now I'm more so in a
mindset is that I am now forcing you. I'm forcing
whoever I deal with to be the man I'm no longer.
Speaker 2 (29:52):
But you can't force nobody, That's.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
What That's what I'm saying. So right now I'm just
the fuck is just me existing? Right? So I don't
want to have to force somebody to be what it
is that whatever it is a man is, and whatever
masculinity actually looks like, because it's really not for women
to define, you know what I'm saying, So men have
(30:14):
to define it. But I know it doesn't look like
cussing your kids and wife out. That's not what the
fuck masculinity looks like. And you definitely can't talk to
me fucking crazy. So I don't know, But.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
What are the kids and wife doing?
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I think his shit came out of frustration because he
does everything for his family.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Okay, well then that's fair.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
That's not fair, you know, you just because you are
the provider. So you mean to tell me if you
were to actually lock in a nigga who's like full
provider all your needs. He then gets to cuss you
out when he gets frustrated. If I deserve it, what
could you do to possibly deserve that.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
Maybe I'm he doing everything and I'm just being so
ungrateful and the kids don't listen and I'm just being
a bitch. Maybe I deserve to shut the fuck up, Timmy. Yes, yes, yes, daddy,
see you toxic. You don't believe that. Sometimes people deserve
(31:16):
they need to get cussed out.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
I don't never need anybody to tell me to shut
the fuck up. Sometimes you do who the fuck you
talking to?
Speaker 2 (31:24):
Sometimes you need to shut the fuck up, though, no.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Never, you don't never need to shut When I need
to shut the fuck up, I don't be talking, and
see that's just whused when I'm talking.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
That's when you think. But sometimes other people, especially a partner,
might feel like, hey, you need to shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
That's not what I've heard though in my relationships. What
I've heard in my relationships is that I be building
recal charges against niggas, Like I just let all these
things add up and then I finally say something about it.
Right now, it's the fucking problem that why didn't you
say this before? Like if I had said something every
single infraction, then I'd be nagging. So what is it
(32:06):
that you really want?
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Yeah, but don't nobody want no Rico.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Nigga said, I'd be building a Rico charge. Like it's
not a Rico cases that I don't nag about every infraction,
you know what I'm saying. And then, especially like when
you cohabitating with somebody, you have to be cognizant and
conscious that it's not just you, right, so you gotta
you gotta make that other person comfortable and you expect
the same thing because y'all have to be in one
(32:40):
place forever together. So no, I'm not nagging by every
little fucking thing, right, But if one need to lead
to the next and then to the next, to the
next and next. Now by the yeah, it Rico is
fucking pending.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
I'll go that's a good practice.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Then. The only time I think that's a good practice
is when you stacking them up to leave. Otherwise, you
should address everything as it happens if it bothers you. Yeah,
but let's just stacking them up to say, Hey, this
is why I'm leaving. Then don't don't pull that.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
I've definitely done that too.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Bit y'all write a journal or a nigga.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
I have a whole journal letter written say hey, this
is exactly why we're no longer. I have definitely done.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
That because one thing I don't like is let's say
I have an issue with my man and I bring
him the issue, and then instead of him addressing that issue,
he goes to tell me something from last May that
made him mad. It's like, why didn't you tell me
when it made you mad? Why are you trying to deflect.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
From one your thing today?
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Yeah, don't do that now, because you're just trying to
like minimize what I'm saying by something that you were
set about it in May and I could have corrected
that and May had you said something. But now I'm
just pissed off. Yeah, and nobody hearing nobody at this point.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
So back to men saying that they're simple. Another example
of that is I'm simple. I don't need much. My
needs are basic, and that translates to feed me, fuck me, y,
let me chill, and don't ask me any questions, right,
But what's really underneath? Okay, so you know It may
(34:29):
seem low maintenance on the surface, but it may also
mean that they're just really suppressing like their emotions. And
men often say how they have nobody to talk to, right,
they don't talk to their friends, they don't talk to
they women like, they don't tell people what they're actually
experiencing on the inside. And some may think that's masculinity, right,
(34:51):
just just dealing and not actually speaking up and saying
when something's bothering you, when you're having a problem.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
But I think that's not even black a man thing.
I think that's a black thing. We are definitely like
we just deal shit happening. We just keep going, just
keep pushing. That's it. Hm, talk to nobody just.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I don't okay. So like the clitical counter, the clitical
thinking counter to that is, it doesn't mean you have
to be like emotionally unavailable. Do you actually know what
you need? Are you used to not even being asked
what the fuck you need? Because men ask what you
bring it to the table, But what do you need
(35:36):
on the table? Do you know what you need as
a man? Do you know what you need out your partner?
If you ask a man that, half the time they
don't fucking know, don't know, They don't know what they
want to eat, and they keep putting it on us
as if we don't know what we want to eat.
Imagine if your niggas say, uh, what you want to
eat and you be like, I don't care, just whatever
(35:58):
in the first place, he says you like, yeah, that
would kill that whole argument, right. It's really because they
don't know what they want to eat, so they yeah,
so they put it on us. That's a small example
of how the responsibility we so responsible for everybody.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
But here's the thing, because I've had that happen. He'd
be like, what you want to eat? And I'm like,
I don't know, I don't care, and he picked something,
I'd be like I don't want that.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
Or you pick something. He'd get there with the menu
and like, I don't see nothing out here I want.
You had an opportunity to choose, so that shit could
go both ways. Why is the onus always on a woman?
Why I got to be concerned about your stomach and mine?
Speaker 2 (36:38):
What do you mean, like, that's the woman's job to
be like the the nourishment, yeah, the nutrition for the family, not.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
In the dating. I guess right when you.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
If I see a whole fat family is the mama fault.
Don't kill me, y'all, don't sorry.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
I agree. I agree because I remember when one of
my sisters is she extra fine right now, chiad, but
you know she'd be letting her family stow eat bullshit
while she's dyeting. That is not okay. I need you
to make sure that they're eating whole foods as well,
Like you know what I'm saying. You want to be
the only one alive because that's what I'm seeing.
Speaker 2 (37:19):
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
My nephew beating fucking h noodles. Them sit got eight
hundred milligrams.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Of sodium in it them, chit is so high they're
not even It's not even real food. I listen, if
it was apocalypse and that was all that was left
to eat, I would just go ahead and die. I
cannot stay in a fucking pack of noodles because I
ate so much of that shit between middle school and
high school, I ate it everywhere you could think of it.
Put an egg in it, put some sausage. I even
(37:46):
ate noodles dry before, Like.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
That's a real struggle meal. That's really disgusting.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
It's gross. I'll never eat another noodle heck of noodles,
forget about it. I did used to like those little
cup noodles with the peas and stuff in there, even
like those not even peas, that is three D printed piece.
We got the fucking people's theay old dried ass three
D shit.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
All right, y'all. So we're going to go through like
clinical thinking versus critical thinking so you can get better
understand where it is I'm coming from, right, So let's
break this zern real quick, because like traditional critical thinking
is like spreadsheets and fucking data analytics and shit like that,
and again, like clinical thinking is based off of lived experience,
like your intuition. So critical thinking is like logical, objective, rational,
(38:46):
right analytical, like step by step detached from emotion. Uh
typically masculin coded clinical thinking is intuitive emotionally intelligent. Okay,
So I think that most of the most of the
people who claim to be emotional intelligent or have emotional
(39:09):
intelligence are probably women, right, because we do tap into
our emotions a little bit more. We do anticipate others,
the needs of others over ours a lot of times,
you know what I'm saying. We know what you need
before you even know what you need. That's what emotional
intelligence is. And you know, I don't think men are
even programmed to think in that way, but we want
(39:31):
them to have all of this emotional intelligence. We think
that's what we want from them. I don't know. Critical
thinking is also like informed by patterns, just people's vibes,
past experiences, rooted in self trust and boundary setting. So
for example, say, for instance, your ex like calls you
(39:52):
like one o'clock in the morning. In the morning, right,
you chilling, drinking wine, listening to music. Critical thinking to
have you thinking like, I wonder what he wants, right,
I wonder if it's if it's an emergency. Clitical thinking
would be like, man, fuck him. I'm not answering the phone.
(40:12):
You just block him midphone call and keep drinking a
wine and listening to music. That's political thinking. I don't
need to know what this nick needs. I don't care. Okay,
I'm gonna just block his ass because I already know
what that involves, already know what he coming for, So
(40:33):
why even engage?
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Girl? I listen, that's so crazy because I one of
my old thing things.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
Hot shits, what do they call him find shits just
ships one of my old one of my old shits.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Go message me do him? Oh no on Facebook message?
Please why? I just need to talk to you, please
and block me. So I unblocked this a motherfucker and
he called me and he gonna say some bullshit about
do my other ex nigga that he know about still
(41:17):
sell weed?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
I was like, so he calling you for pluck talk? Yeah,
not you to connect. I hung up so fast, not
your relationship manager.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
And reblock that nigga just as quick, like.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Fads, Like, nigga, what you trying to sat my other
nigga up?
Speaker 2 (41:38):
I don't know what you talk about? One ship up
from another ship. I ain't got nothing to do with that.
Put two ships together?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yeah, like and after Oftentimes they don't want nothing, right, you.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Don't want nothing, Leave me alone. I don't know. I
don't do drugs. Leave me alone.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
Here's another example. So you've gone on like three amazing dates,
but your gut is uneasy. Right, So they're attractive or
like successful, consistent, and maybe I should keep seeing them.
But your critical thinking is he gives like love bombing, right, disappear?
(42:20):
He might disappear later, like your nervous system is on
edge fucking with this person. You just know something's.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Off with him.
Speaker 1 (42:30):
He might have even did he probably didn't even do
anything just yet, but you just know that is your
clitical thinking skills kicking in, which could probably save your
fucking life. Because many relationships, I most relationships I've been in,
I probably should have left day one. It was some
shit that happened. I just was like, let me get
(42:55):
the fuck up out of here aboard mission. And I
stayed for a couple of years.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
But here's nobody's gonna be perfect, though, So it's okay
to like ignore something, mind is.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
It, though? Because if we look at the data of
these relationships, is it good to ignore? I mean, if I.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Don't want to say directions like you don't like I
hate too, you know, sit like that. You can get
past that, all right, or you can groom that into
something else.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
But if you see that is the problem, y'all. Bitch,
Just thinking y'all could change people At this big age,
people do change. I don't agree people mass you feel like.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
You're the same person you was when we started this show.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Uh No, you've grown listen, but so growing and changing.
Are those the same thing? Is that the same thing?
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Because I really I've been literally the same person, and
even like no, let me, let me not lie because
I'd be reading some like some of my old Facebook
shit and Twitter shit. I had to delete that stuff,
like what the fuck was I talking about?
Speaker 2 (44:08):
You're dumb?
Speaker 1 (44:09):
What you talking about?
Speaker 2 (44:11):
You got to say? We're changing and growing every day.
So just even the I just went and listened to
like our first episode, I'm like super Hero like night
or some bullshit. I was saying, what did you talk about? Ass?
(44:32):
So yeah, so people do change, People do grow people
and men too, especially when they start they did stop
working as good, they really start changing.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Then it's interesting they have daughters.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
They start changing when they had little girls. Stuff like
that will change a man. But don't nothing them change
them worse than they did stopping.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Looky humble them a little bit.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Yeah, that Dick's change up or the desires.
Speaker 1 (45:05):
I don't even know if that's true, because I feel
like they still be wanting to put that gummy worm
on a bitch, like just still just getting a new
bitch to show her the gummy worm. It's still exciting
to them. They don't care about being embarrassed. They retired
that wet rag. They just want to stuff it in
as many bitches as possible. All right, So like a
(45:27):
friend keeps subtly throwing shade critical thinking, maybe I'm just
being too sensitive. Let me watch a few more interactions
to confirm clinical thinking. That comment hit sideways. She's not
for me. Distance activated. You know what time it is like,
(45:48):
don't trick yourself into thinking somebody ain't doing what they're doing.
I have been around people where somebody says some sideways shit.
I'm gonna address it right then and there, because I
have lit things like sliding get home, like saying I
should have, would have, could have, and I'd be disappointed
with myself, like damn, I should have. I should have
fucking cussed that bitch out. I should have Da da
da da da.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
It's a hitch from two thousand. It was twenty twelve
that I still think about because her mother fucking NaNs
out and I let some shit she said slide, and
I used to regret it right to day, I still
like I be laying in bed like I should have
if I fire a bitch to this day.
Speaker 1 (46:32):
Look, I have a first cousin that I don't fuck
with on any level in my mind right because of
it might have been around like it might have been
earlier in twenty twelve. Did I even tell you all
this story? So my cousin asked me to be in
her wedding.
Speaker 2 (46:47):
Oh yeah, you just share no hold on.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
She didn't ask me to be in her wedding. She
asked me to be the usher. Yeah, okay, this is
my first cousin. So imagine you living in Atlanta and
a bitch you asking you to come to South Carolina
to come to her wedding, but be an usher. Right.
So when I thought about it, I'm like, I don't
think I want to do that. I talked to my
mom about it. She was like, girl, you don't want
(47:10):
be no usher? So I called her back. I said, hey,
you know what I think I prefer just like attending
the wedding, right girl? Why I got to the U.
She had a bridal shower, and I guess her maid
of honor. Her bestie was like the spokesperson for the
shit they had spoke about me, and she was introducing
each of us. She introduced my sister Sam first. She's like, yes,
(47:33):
my cousin Sam. This is my cousin introducing us to
her maid of honor. And this is my cousin Sam,
and this is Ashley and the homegirl these aka bitches too.
The homegirl was like, oh, she's not in the wedding,
she's not a bridesmaid, usher or anything. And my voice
literally was gone, y'all, I have fucking like laryngitis or
(47:55):
something like I had no voice, so imagine me. I
would sound like this trying to curse the bitch out.
But this is how my cousin let some random bitch
play with me. My cousin barely know my fucking life,
and I'm still holding a grudge to this day. I
still want to have that conversation with her because I'm
trying to figure out why the fuck y'all thought y'all
could play on me just because I didn't want to
serve food to my family at this big, immaculate wedding, Like,
(48:20):
why would you try to like downgrade me to a
fucking server? Am I tripping? Y'all?
Speaker 2 (48:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Girl, So my best friend at the time, she was
dating my first cousin's brother, so she's dating my cousin.
She ended up doing it with she ended up doing
it instead. They were black and white like a fucking waitress,
and she had people from the church doing it. Why
did you need me to do that?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
So you were the only family member that was gonna
be an usher?
Speaker 1 (48:51):
Yes, yes, my other cousins was bridemaids. Why do I
don't want to and I live I live at a
town we barely speak, Like your mind told you to
call me to do that, And it's not like I like.
Speaker 2 (49:07):
Maybe cooking and wanted you to help with the food.
Speaker 1 (49:11):
Imagine like one of these Instagram weddings. That's how her
reception looked. I mean, big long rolls of full like
all this food, like these ushers. That the thing that
she wanted me to do, what my best friend was
doing was serving food to our family with a black
and white outfit on Why would you have your first
(49:35):
cousin doing that?
Speaker 2 (49:39):
So I get that in the event that no family
was working, then I get while I was like, why
are you only ask me and you got people outside
of the family doing everything, but I'm the only family member.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
But then you came with people, it came with staff.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
It was just like I need my family to help
assist to make this they beautiful. Then I would not
mind a mind doing that. I wouldn't mind being an
usher because it's not about me. It's about her, her
beautiful day, and this is my cousin. I want her
to have a beautiful day, so I will I'll help
because when it's my turn, I'm gonna need everybody in
this stand.
Speaker 1 (50:13):
I would never call my first cousin and ask her
to serve food at my wedding. I would never do
that to her if it was that's a grading. That's
how I felt. That was highly degrading, Like I'm your
first cousin, Like, why would you want me serving food
to our family?
Speaker 2 (50:29):
Families? Families do that though family.
Speaker 1 (50:32):
Yeah, this ain't even no bullshit wedding though, See you're
not thinking on the scale, I said, one of these
Instagram fucking wedding is the ship was immaculate. Why and
I bought the fucking beautiful dress to wear to her wedding?
Speaker 2 (50:44):
That's it because it wasn't like that. It wasn't like
a situation where the whole family was, you know, yah.
Speaker 1 (50:50):
Pitching it and helping. No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't
nothing like that. My homegirl was fucking pissed the whole
time because she didn't know what all It wouldn't tell
either when she is stept the position as an usher. Yeah,
and she was serving us food. That's that's fucked up
to have your brother's girlfriend, who should be his date
at your wedding doing that. But because they used to
(51:13):
have a problem with her, because they my uncle, their
dad never really fucked me. I mean from a little girl.
Speaker 2 (51:18):
He would say shit like me, oh hair cousin is
glamor queen like still to this date, that's how you
treat me.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
So I feel like that kind of rubbed off on
like his kids and how they see me. Well, maybe
not my boy cousins, but it's something there. So yeah,
I still have like, yeah, some anna, I have some
anna about that.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Have you seen this cousin?
Speaker 1 (51:41):
Absolutely, But I just feel like now I can't address
it because then it would be petty. But it bothers
you very seventeen years and divorce's so married, So I like,
I just gotta let it go. But I'm telling y'all
because like, who the fuck else I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
Tell that she happened to the show about it.
Speaker 1 (52:04):
And then we'll talk about it at that time. And
you know what the worst thing about it is people
do things and then when you address it, they I
don't even remember that, yeah, because you weren't on the
receiving end of the bullshit.
Speaker 2 (52:15):
But sometimes people don't even know that they're offending you.
So that's why it's important to address it, like I didn't.
I don't remember it because I didn't know it was
a thing.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Oh she's not a bridesmaid usher or anything. Why do
you ask my sister that?
Speaker 2 (52:31):
Right? It was introduced right before me. They had That's
what I fucking know.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
And this is what clinical thinking is, right, It's just
you knowing the bullshit. It can't nobody tell you any different, bitch,
because it's a gut feeling. It is an inner knowing
that cannot be fucking debated. I'm not tripping, y'all. Bitches
tried me. Y'all really tried it. So I was never
(53:00):
able to address it. So I still that shit might
have been two thousand and nine, bitch, I'm go, lie,
I much g lie. It might have been like two
thousand and nine. I still feel some type of way
about that shit, because why did I deserve that? That's
what bothers.
Speaker 2 (53:12):
Me when people the fuck you think you are, you
fly ass dish coming up in here, think you go
upstage the bride. You ain't gonna do that this time, bitch,
serve out that chicken ho that's what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (53:22):
And here's the thing, here's my personality. When I tell y'all,
when I get married, y'all motherfuckers better show up like this,
y'all wedding. That's how I feel. That's how confident I
am about myself. I know that's where that bullshit came from, right,
them not wanting me to show up in all my
mother fucking glory but for my wedding. Bitch, if you
were the wedding party, if you just a wedding, guess
(53:44):
when I tell y'all, y'all better act like this, y'all
shit for birthdays. I want everybody to be extra fucking fine.
I never like one of those people do don't want
their friends to outdress them on their fucking birthday. That
is weird.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
O't behave to care about my birthday, but aren't my wedding.
Please don't come in a white dress.
Speaker 1 (54:00):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (54:01):
Don't come in here wed bit your whole ass and
should have having a white dress anyway, you don't wear one, bitch,
wear a black dress my wedding. I don't be like,
do you hate me?
Speaker 1 (54:17):
Because yeah, but it's never going to like a wedding
gown though, you know what I'm saying. So even if
somebody were to have on a white dress, it's never
going to like a wedding gown.
Speaker 2 (54:24):
Tacky ass bitch coming in a white dress to a wedding,
I'll be I'll be like, this is an all white wedding.
Why are you here? Are you trying to give your
man a message? Propos bitch?
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Maybe and listen it's all open over here. Yes, do that.
And if you feel beautiful today, I want everybody to
feel good.
Speaker 2 (54:43):
But I don't want you to be tacky. Don't be
taking I don't think that's tacking. Don't be attagging. Bitch.
I invited you because I didn't think you were one,
and here you come being one.
Speaker 1 (54:58):
Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (55:00):
You can listen where anything where motherfucking tied out to this, motherfucker.
Don't come in white.
Speaker 1 (55:09):
Leave like a black tie event. No white even black tie,
no white.
Speaker 2 (55:13):
No, no white dress. You can have a dress with
white in it with you.
Speaker 1 (55:24):
I want everybody look back to you and escorting me
out of the winds. I got uninvited. And after she
showed up.
Speaker 2 (55:34):
Right, the bride will call you later. That's what they're
gonna tell you as you leave out. The mother bitch.
Speaker 1 (55:44):
I don't want it all these years to get married.
Speaker 2 (55:46):
You come into my ship in a white dress. You
gotta be fucked up.
Speaker 1 (55:49):
But there's no way for her to look like you
though on that day. That's how I'm confused. No, you're
damn right you won't because you won't, y'all, head at
you've been mourned.
Speaker 2 (55:59):
Yes, it advans, but I think all my friends know
that they got sense enough to know not to come
to a wedding in a white dress unless it's all
white wedding where some people have that where everybody comes
in white, which I don't like that either. Yeah, but yeah,
(56:20):
don't do that.
Speaker 1 (56:21):
Look at your little ponytails up in the riverside picture.
You see it, all right, So y'all, Clitical thinking doesn't
mean ignore logic at all, right, So it just adds
like an extra layer of protection, Okay. Emotional wisdom pattern
recognition based on just the fucking truth, right, It's just
(56:46):
you know, that's intelligence too. So don't let anybody tell
you that you making shit up, that it's just feelings,
or that you overreacting, bitch. You know what you know,
and that's clinical thinking. So it's not over analyzing everything.
Is not ignoring facts of feelings or facts four feelings,
I should say. Or it's just not like just being pest,
(57:09):
petty or sassy. It's just recognizing the patterns again, knowing
your fucking gut and trusting that inner feeling. That's it.
That is what clitical thinking is. Hat's coming soon, all right.
So you know what I do want people to do.
(57:29):
I want y'all to send me, send me some send
us some messages, uh with like your best Uh? He
said he was simple, but stories. That's what I want
to see, Like mint, When what did a man tell you?
Like he said, I'm simple, but such and such and
how did he actually act? Right? All men say that
(57:50):
they're simple and they have these minimal needs. I want
to hear the stories.
Speaker 2 (57:58):
Let's hear it. Let's hear that, because.
Speaker 1 (58:01):
Them niggas ain't simple anyway, You good, Tammy?
Speaker 2 (58:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (58:09):
Last, all right, y'all. If you enjoyed this episode, y'all
tune in every Thursday and a black Effect. iHeart radio
w app whatever the fuck you get your podcast that
This show co hosts a j holiday. On instagrams, y'all, follow, subscribe, share,
share the podcast with your besties. Leave a review if
(58:30):
you're feeling froggy. I wish I could fucking comment back
on reviews, but it's all welcome. Thank you. We want
we want the listeners, we want the spens.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
Okay, all right, y'all sofiicial team BAM. I love y'all
so much. Remember speak now.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
And never hold your motherfucker piece. Okay, never never hold
your gut feelings. Click some clip notes.
Speaker 2 (59:00):
Yes,
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