Girl Breathe

This week on We Talk Back, AJ Holiday and TamBam cover everything from their weekend adventures to the buzz around the controversial 'BBL smell' phenomenon. They dive into a bizarre lawsuit where a man claims Apple turned him gay and weigh in on Young Miami’s take on giving a man four chances to cheat before calling it quits. The conversation then shifts to their reflections on Waiting to Exhale, sparking a deep dive into loneliness, the dynamics of female friendships, and the need for balance in romantic relationships. They also highlight the role of emotional intelligence in maintaining healthy connections and navigating love and friendship. 

Lets discuss!

Follow us!

@wetalkbackpodcast

@officialtambam

@ajholiday2.0

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Speaks to the planet.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll go by the name of Charlamagne the God and
guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the
third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming
back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poleman
Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions Decisions,
Mandy B and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and
B Money podcast, were taking Jay Valentine. We got the
Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got

(00:22):
Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with
her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast with
more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.
We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses
plus the food truck court to keep you fed.

Speaker 3 (00:37):
While you visit us.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap
in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot
Com Flash Podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
Festival, hoping to we talk back where we encourage you
to hustle, hard, laugh, letter and always keep it cute.
So grab your coffee, cocktail and crown because it's about
to go down's talk talk.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
You're just too unapologetically black women with an opinion.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
He talks back, what's up, y'all, it's your girl a
j holiday? What's up, tam Damn?

Speaker 3 (01:11):
Hey, y'all. I love y'all so much.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Hey, I'm well, girls, stop light. These people love him.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
I love him so much. They love me too.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Until you do some ship, they don't like, they're gonna
be dragging and it's trying to come for you for
look for sucking tubs.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
That's a lit ma noth until April. After April girls.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Drop, my mama gonna come up to me, coming told
for me yikes, and then walked off. I was like,
oh wow, everybody got something to say. Ye a man
foot in my mouth? Y'all put on a lot of
technic tests. I never put him wonder his foot in
my mouth? Shame Anyway, How was your weekend?

Speaker 1 (02:07):
My weekend was great? Did I do something this weekend? Oh?

Speaker 3 (02:10):
I did go outside?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Not outside for real, I just did like a little.
On Saturday, I went by one of my homegirl's house
who I recently reconnected with, and just talk some shit
for a couple hours over some crab bags. Me shout
out to Courtney girl, she'd be in roger Wood sausage.
When the last time you had a roger Wood sausage.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
Roger Woods all the time?

Speaker 1 (02:33):
Are you serious? Oh my god, First of all, on
you sausage, and don't put that shit in my bag
in my crab bag.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
I don't want that in my crab bag either, because
it overpowers all the other food in there. But I
was have a roger Wood fried up good on spicing
bread with some must period.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Shame. Now back in the day when we was kids, like,
if you ain't having a roger Wood sausage in your house,
you really ain't have no food. As long was we
had a box of roger Wad sausage like we shit
was lit.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
You eat and eggs and rama's straight.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
I probably had a roger Wood sausage in middle school.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Damn. I had one a couple of days ago. So
this weekend it was the Black College Invitational Championship in Charlotte.
Is a new tournament. My friend Russy put it on y'all,
we got to support this tournament, like this is the
first year. He wants all our support, all the HBCUs.

(03:33):
He wants this involved y'all. So everyone, we got to
support this black basketball tournament in Charlotte, North Carolina, and
it was I saw a lot of parties surrounded just
like CI double A.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
It's supposed to be coming back, right, CI double A.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
I don't know, but this is about this one, this
black one brought on by blacks, presented by black people
for HBCUs. Y'all get involved intellect.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
Yeah, did you attend any of the fescificity festivities?

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I actually didn't get to go out to the tournament.
I did go to There's a new lounge in Charlotte
called Taranga that opened up over the weekend too, and
I popped out there and it was nice.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
It was Taranga, Topanga, Taranga whever it comes.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
From like that. I think it's called Tarango though, and
it was cute in there. So that opened over the weekend.
They're soft open, but that was soft about it. It
was fully open. So I went there and that was it.
You know, I don't get out too much these days,
I mean in the house. M hm.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
Well that sounds fun.

Speaker 3 (04:46):
It was fun. It was a good time. Meet Jamaican
and Raquel.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
With Ja Maka Jamaica honestae Jamaican, so damn long.

Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, it was a good time. Shout out to Jamaica
and Raquel, let's get in there now, what you got?

Speaker 1 (04:59):
What you I You know what?

Speaker 3 (05:02):
I keep seeing posts about a BBL smell. So this
one woman got on there and said the bbl's is
stinking and ain't nobody talking about it? That it spelled
like she said, it smelled like a pot of broccoli
that got to live on it and been sitting on

(05:23):
the stove for two days. God damn, Now, listen, if
you got a BBL, y'all, tell us do your shit
smell like broccoli every now and then when you swear
or something? And what causes that? So I looked up
the BBL smell and apparently there's some truth to it.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
I've been hearing that for years, that the bbl's be leaking,
that they be smelling, And I don't know if it
has anything to do with that. Maybe, I don't know
if the the fact that was transferred to it is
like rotten. I don't know. I'm one of my little
cousins that got a BBL one time and her shit
went wrong. Tell me a motherfucker who ever got a
BBL in Charleston, South Carolina. I don't know, but she did, okay,

(06:02):
and they I remember going with her to an appointment
and they had to put guds in that thing, like
she had a whole back there because her body was
actually rejecting her own fat in that area. So she
got an infection. So I don't know if maybe because
you know these girls, they be having to get that
shit cut out now well wait wait, wait, let me

(06:22):
back up. Yeah, so that was a fat transfer. That's
different the bbls A lot of the women have, maybe
like the saline. Yeah, it's like the foreign matter that
they're putting into the body. It's not their own fat. Yeah,
I did see your titty, bitch you. This girl is

(06:44):
such a whole like, yeah, I saw the nipple. But
why you gotta put it in the audio. She just
want everybody know her fucking pities is out your ass,
crazy ass. But look, I did google BBL smell and

(07:05):
it just said this is from South Shore Plastic Surgery,
it says, identifying the BBL smell. The BBL smell is
often described as musty or slightly sour, so that there
goes that broccoli with the lid on. But it should
not be overpowering. You may notice the order more prominently

(07:25):
after sweating or sitting for extended periods. However, the smell
is a company accompanied by other symptoms like redness, swelling,
or fever. These could be signs of infection. So if
the booty is smelling.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
So that must be like a new BBL. The old
bbls can't be having this smell, right.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
I think people be having problems with the old bbls.
They've had this thing sitting in their bodies for years rottening.

Speaker 3 (07:54):
It's crazy. Yeah, I don't know. If it can rotten
your own fat, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
And it says maintaining optimal hygiene after BBL can be challenging.
I don't know why. Maybe because y'all put too much
as back there, especially when using the restroom. Residual stool
or urine on the skin can lead to bacterial growth
and older development if not clean thoroughly. Be extra diligent
about cleansing after bio movements and urination to prevent unwanted smells.

Speaker 3 (08:25):
But ain't that to everybody?

Speaker 1 (08:27):
Yeah, I'm like that is not exclusive to booties, right.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Wipe your head is a thing for everybody, you will
think of your ass dirty, like what the hell?

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Yeah, I believe it's rottening though, I believe if it's
not just like the BBL with the fat transfer, like
using your own fat, which your body can also still
reject that, right, But you do have a lot of
women that were getting the asses added on before the
BBL fat transfer. It's been around, but yeah, they were
doing injections in the back of the club or in

(08:59):
some basement in New York City, like yeah, and people
were going to prison for performing these things. Fix a
flat in the ass all type of shit and your
ass is crazy.

Speaker 3 (09:10):
Yeah, nuts, Well that's proof I ain't had no BBM.
My shit don't never smell like broccing now.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
And you know, just like with anything else, like you
are the first person to smell these things. You should
not be bunking that ass round the club knowing that
this thing possibly be smelling like hot shit. Bunks that ass,
like bunks that ass.

Speaker 3 (09:36):
You start experiencing that, you should probably go to a doctor,
because it got to be something that you can do
to help, you know, like combat the broccoli yell.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
So I saw online and look, and I you might
think this is crazy. Personally, I don't think it is.
I think it's very plausible. If I were an attorney
and somebody brought this lawsuit to me, I'll be like,
you know what, you might be onto something. So apparently
a Russian man sued Apple for turning him gay. It

(10:08):
says a Russian man, uh, his name is d Razommulov,
fouled a lawsuit against Apple, claiming that the company's products
turned him gay. This is one of the most bizarre
legal cases in history, it says. It says he downloaded
a crypto app onto his phone where he started receiving

(10:30):
gay coin instead of bitcoin. The Apple apparently said, don't
judge until you try. Inspiring Razummulov, whatever, how are you
pronounce the last name? To begin having sex, to begin
having same sex relationships, he ended up falling in love
with another man, and now he is suing Apple because

(10:52):
of it.

Speaker 3 (10:54):
About that the dumbest shit I ever heard. Didn't nobody
to make you fuck a dude, You chose it.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
No, I think that, I really do think that there
is subliminal messaging with this. It's direct messaging. Don't knock
until you try it, you know what I'm saying? And
he actually tried it. You know, I know I've said
this on the show before. There's a lot of men
that are probably gay in the mind before they are
actually physically gay, right, or maybe some of them may

(11:22):
never ever act on the urge right to have sex
with it with the same sex, but they think about
it a lot and they just haven't gotten like the
opportune time or situation to do it. And now this
thing has enticed him to do it. He might have
a lawsuit.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
He gonna lose, bag.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
I don't think so. Think about that.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
Accountability, Like Apple didn't make you go nowhere and fuck
no man, like that was a firm decision.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
What if he can prove that Apple kept sending him
this message to his phone, like it just kept popping
up on his phone. Don't knock it to you tried.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
That is not that is but Erica keep sending me
messages get broccoli soup. I ain't got none yet.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
But McDonald's has been sued for a subliminal messaging many
times throughout history. Think about this young boy who just
committed suicide because AI told him to come be with him.
You see yeah this album, Yeah, like and if somebody I.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
Just don't think sexual acts count because you have to
literally go do it, like you have to decide that
you want to have sex with another the same sex.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
I think he got a lot of suit. We'll see.
I'm gonna track it if you're win that.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
I'm suing everybody for every choice I've ever made in
life that wasn't right, spending spending money on clothes. Y'all
keep sending me messages about buying clothes, and I keep
buying clothes and I ain't got no money. That's your fault.
So I'm gonna sue y'all, and I better win this.
Motherfucker win about it. Beat Apple. The Apple owe him

(12:58):
some money for him deciding to suck some dick. That
was a choice. If you want to suck some dick,
it's okay, but don't don't. Don't put it on Apple.
Apple ain't got nothing to do with it. It's okay, Eve.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
I feel like we could find some lawsuits where people
probably suit him one for these things. They may not
publicize them heavily because they don't want other people trying
and shit, but you know, like all lawyers got to
do is convince the jury.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
And I feel like he would be able to his
attorney may be able to convince the jury that they.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
Got ain't no way. I don't know who else going
to be able to win that kid, Me, that's who me.
Look what else happened over the weekend? Oh did you
see where Young Miami? She was on Shannon Shark m
C Club and she explained that she'll give her significant

(13:59):
other or four times to cheat before she calls it
a rap. Four times to cheat. That number is very specific.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
I give my four times that I haven't watched a
full interview yet. I only saw like the clips online,
but I laughed my ass off where she said like
four times, y'all Miami ass funny as hell without trying
to be funny. She just right round the way girl,
because you.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
Can't even you shouldn't even if that's the case, you
shouldn't say it out loud. I feel like the nigga
gonna be like shit, you said I had four times?
I seen it a club shack shade girl.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
I have an ex boyfriend who always, like, at least
once every two years, I might speak to this nigga,
and he always complains about how I didn't give him second, third, fourth, chance.
You give all these other niggas a chance, you ain't
never get to fuck me over again. You mad because
I gave another nigga a chance to fuck me over

(14:58):
and not you. Right, that is beyond me. These people's thinking, Nah, nigga,
I just didn't feel like you were worth all these
extra chances, which he had a lot. So I'm trying
to figure out what the fuck are you talking about? Like, yes,
I'm definitely not about to give a nigga like okay,
if you want to strike off one, you got three left.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
I'm like some people, cheating is an ultimate deal worker.
It's the ultimate disrespect for the relationships. Some people, it ain't.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
You know, I'm a go ahead.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
I always have to weigh like, am I'm more happy
than not? That's always an answer for me in every scenario.
Am I smiling more or not smiling enough? Then I
gotta go. It don't matter what the infraction is.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Right or how many times. I mean, the more you
do shit, I'm losing like respect for you, I'm losing trust.
You know what I'm saying. So even if you and
then eventually you ain't gonna be able to trust me, nigga,
because I'm gonna make you feel it, you know, So
do you really want to be here after? You don't
shoot on me? A lot of times I may not
have left you, and that's a toxic trade of mine.
I may not leave you right for cheating, but you're

(16:14):
gonna feel my wrath and I'm not even I may
I'm not gonna say nothing, but you're gonna feel like
something going on. Okay, So don't play with me because
I do. I'm I am a one upper.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
My daddy said when he had cheated on my mom
when they were young, and Mama took him back, but
he said we had to eat out the same plate
for like two months before he trusted the eating over
here with your fork because we're not eating out a
different bowl.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
He thought she was gonna poison him. Yep, why are
you still with somebody you can't trust in that? I
never understand why men stay with women they still eat
food from. But you don't trust me?

Speaker 2 (16:58):
Right?

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Just be eating up this food, asking me what I'm cooking,
asking me what we eating? But you but you scared?
You ain't scared enough. You ain't scared, You are not
scared enough? All right, y'all? So for this week's episode.
Tell me when the last time you watched Wayne Takes Hell?
The other day for realm So I have watched it

(17:21):
as like a super adult because I feel like we
would have been teenagers when it came out, right, Like
I have watched it, Girl beat it. I wasn't born yet.
I saw it last week. Girl Get out of Here.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
A vintage movie for me.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
Like I don't know if we were watching Wayne Takes
Hell like when we actually got into these like serious relationships.
When you have watched Waiting Takes Heil, And I do
suggest y'all to go watch it now if you haven't
in the last five years, six years, ten years, whatever
it is.

Speaker 3 (17:56):
I the other day on the plane, right he has
one of those movies.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
On the flight, Go watch it because I want to
talk about it with you, but I also want to
talk about it like with the listeners. What y'all think
about Waiting Takes Heale as it pertains to like our
life now and dating, did anything change? Is it the
same shit we now experiencing what we saw them as
you know, grown women, career women, mothers, single fine bitch,
you know what I'm saying, Like, like, are we experiencing

(18:24):
the same things.

Speaker 3 (18:26):
Let's get into it.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
Yeah, we'll be right back, all right now, asorry from
you know, just thinking about the characters on Waiting the
Waiting Takes Hell. I actually came across this post and
I sent it to Tamman. I just want to read
a couple of parts of it, right, because it says,
after watching excuse me, after we watching Waiting Takes Hell

(18:50):
for the first time since I was younger, same shit, right,
it felt to me. Excuse me, It left me with
a lot to unpack. And here's a whole thread, right.
So it begins with saying, like, so this movie is
classically known for the infamous scene of Bernadine, that character
that was played by Angela Angel Bassett, Yeah, setting her

(19:14):
soon to be ex husband clothes on fire in his car.
But that wasn't the only thing that exploded, right, So
she's saying, like, mentally, now, let's just unpack that one
part because I literally have that the scene where she
walked up in the ballroom and slapped that white bitch.
I got that shit saved on Instagram.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
I seen it one day, and I.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
Love that part of the movie. Bernardine.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
I'm in a meeting here.

Speaker 3 (19:39):
If you need something, I suggest, would.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
You mind terribly if I had a few words with
my husband? Oh? What the hell are you doing? I've
been to the bank. Thank you, thank you for thanking
of your children. Everybody out, yes, out, you're comfort wife,
and start throwing some tantrum because you can't finish what
you started. What am I supposed to do for money?

(20:01):
I gave you the house now, sun.

Speaker 3 (20:04):
I think we all enjoyed that part.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
That looked like it was a real slap.

Speaker 3 (20:11):
It was not.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
It looked really real, like they acted the shit out
of that part.

Speaker 3 (20:15):
She's like, do you excuse me? Do you think I
could talk to my husband for a second. She's like, sure,
I didn't.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
So the next threat, the next party threat says, there's
a heavy depiction of a loneliness and how women can
consistently say yes to things that say no to them.
That's true, right when you like kind of lonely?

Speaker 3 (20:42):
Mm hmm, this is definitely uh me, you be settled
up for shit, right, entertaining old shit just because it's familiar,
but it don't really align with what I really want
or desire, honestly, and the loneliness get to you. Man

(21:03):
that ship, I'll tell you, and your body will betray
your mind every time.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
Yeah, and then you asking asking different you asking a
universe for one thing, right, but you're not doing your
part because you're lonely. And I say this a lot.
I remember when one of my friends, her daughter is
my goddaughter. She she sent me a text message one
day and asked me like to help her basically write
a letter to my goddaughter graduating from high school. And

(21:31):
one of the main things I said for her to
put in this letters like get comfortable being alone, you know,
be okay with yourself. You know. Yeah that And it's
really not though, because I do like solitude. I do
like being by myself.

Speaker 3 (21:48):
And you're ever seeing you be single. I've been you
be like a man, you be like consistently with a
new nigga.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
That's not true. See it's mental though, right. I might physically,
but they don't God me, mentally.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
You got another nigga already. God damn, I can't have
a nigga. I never have a nigga. This nigga have
a new nigga every couple of months.

Speaker 1 (22:18):
It's the physical, not the mental anyway, girls, I'm telling
my business like I want to be telling it. It
is also revealed how sometimes single mothers put the responsibility
on their sons to be the man of the house
and absence of their fathers.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
Absolutely, So that's Bernardine Bernadine definitely, and I know women
like not Bernardine.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
That's the character of that Gloria, Yeah, Gloria.

Speaker 3 (22:43):
Gloria does that, who was played by Loretta Devine. She
definitely enmeshed her son like and just treated him like
he was her man instead of her son, and didn't
want him to go hang out with friends, want him
to travel, didn't want him to experience because she had

(23:03):
put that responsibility on her son to be her man. Yeah,
she stopped doing that. It's a lot of y'all moms
out here listening to us right now. Stop doing that
to your son, not his responsibility.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Yeah, and so they lean on you know, when I
checked into the hotel when I went to Dallas last week,
I told the girl at the desk, like, yeah, I
do a podcast, so you know, I sent it to
her so she could listen to a young girl. And
she was like, you know, y'all should do an episode
on black women and their sons. And I didn't understand
what she was talking about until she like explained more.

(23:40):
Because she's the daughter, right, and she has a brother
that the mom you know, puts you on this pedestal. Yeah,
And I explained to her this is what it is,
because she is using her son as a place filler
for the man she doesn't have. So when I say
I don't like men who got mamas, this is exactly
why I need your mom to be in a healthy relationship.

(24:01):
So she's not interfering in ours, right, That's it, you know.
So it goes on to say, we see a normal
We see a normality of women settling for temporary satisfaction
with married men in exchange for a false reality of companionship.
Reassurance can provide the comfort of a weighted blanket, even

(24:23):
if it is an illusion.

Speaker 3 (24:26):
And now that's Savanna played by Whitney Houston.

Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yep, And they remember the scene where Bernadine met the
guy played by Wesley Snipes.

Speaker 3 (24:39):
Oh, I think no. First of all, Bernadine Angela Bassett
met Herbert. Who Herbert, he's harmless. Now he was married
when she went and fucked him.

Speaker 1 (24:54):
And it's kind of like, all.

Speaker 3 (24:55):
Right, you upset about your husband leaving and then you
went and fuck somebody else's husband. I've seen contradictory it is,
And see that's why I beat bitches up because it
would be the hypocrisy for me. How you smashing somebody
else man, but you don't want nobody smashing your man.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Like what goes around comes around.

Speaker 3 (25:14):
You're doing some shit you just got finished doing. It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Yeah, And I ain't gonna sit up here on this
goddamn what kind of Mike's Jesus? On the sure Mike
and Lions say that I never have sex with or
fucked with somebody else's man, I absolutely have. That's why
I'm never surprised when it shit happens to me. It
just you just can't be an habitual side bitch when
it comes to me, Like you just can't always be
trying to fuck on my man. It's a problem for me,

(25:39):
right stothing a.

Speaker 3 (25:42):
Part time.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
You get four times to fuck my nigga, and on
a full time I'm beating your ass cause the niggas
for everybody.

Speaker 3 (25:55):
Listen, I ain't never been with nobody, uh.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
Girl, Come on, come on, okay, come on, never love.

Speaker 3 (26:04):
You next s lot.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
You make me made me click off my damn slides.
Hold No one, we got a in this day, I
why you're.

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Trying to find it? While grieving in the moment of
love loss, one would settle for just being held to
remind themselves that they too have some level of capacity.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
M hm. And that was the scene with her and
I don't even know what his name was in the movie.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
Do you know you remember Wesley Snipes? No, I don't remember.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
I remember, but yeah, they didn't have sex. They just
met at a bar in a hotel and they just
spent the night together just for some intimacy.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
He's still cheated on his wife by doing that.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
Well, his wife was was terminally ill also, you know,
so if I was a terminally ill wife, like please
go live your life, I would not want somebody to
be like just at my bedside.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yeah, I mean I would want them at my bedsite.
But I would understand if he was cuddling with somebody
to be comforted in the mister my you know me dying?

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Do you remember? I can't remember her name though, This
is just I have to find a story and tell
you all about it. But it was a black woman.
She was very famous, like on social media and stuff,
and she had got like Parkinson. No, she had got dementia.
I believe she came she was diagnosed with dementia and
she was declining like so imagine like I don't know,
Oprah renfree all of a sudden, and and her husband

(27:44):
now has has her propped up with his new white
bitch next to him, like there's still yeah, he's now
moved his new woman in while he cares for his.

Speaker 3 (27:57):
Wait till my dad. I'm still living, God damn.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
And y'all on my page right the nerve.

Speaker 3 (28:06):
But some niggas will just leave you to feel for yourself.
So I guess that's better than that. But it's don't
bring that bitch, don't have, we don't need, We ain't
in no throuble because I'm sick.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
And she just looking sitting there, looking out of place,
just wondering, you know, herself anymore?

Speaker 3 (28:25):
Yeah, all right. The next line says, and how could
we forget the fact that sometimes parents will project the
areas of lacking their life and try to control your
destiny based off of their fear.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Been there barn mm hmm.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
So that mama was encouraging her to sleep with somebody
else's husband and have and build a relationship with someone
as a husband because she didn't want her to end
up alone like her, he's a good man, Savannah. We
shared that line so much, but he really wasn't. He

(29:05):
wasn't good a good man at all.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
He was not good at all. And you know, I
kind of had that issue with my mama man still
talking to my ex fiance, like, get off the phone
with that nigga. And it was only because that nigga
could build shit from scratch and she didn't have that
her own relationship, like somebody who was like hands on
could do all the things that she likes to do
and doing with her Like I'm being abused by this nigga.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Some carpety.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
She like, keep talking to him so you can put
this tile up in the kitchen. First break up that
really happened in real life, Mama, hey girl, or the
next one? So I said. The common theme in that
the common theme is that black women are expected to
settle and see wherever you land, even if it means

(29:58):
sharing with someone else. A lot of the things, a
lot of things can build up, but how does one
release when these things get too heavy? And it says
now again, I watched this as a kid and won't
take away from it being a classic, But now as
an adult, I question if the title Waiting to Exhale
is a sign of foreshadowing that may never come. Y'all,

(30:22):
let me know what y'all think and see. Thus now
our conversation about these characters in the movie, because really,
waiting takes hell. Were y'all really like they damn show
was their damn show was waiting? Yeah? And I feel
like these characters still exist today amongst the women and

(30:43):
then the archaeotype, like these men also still exist. These
same type of relationships still go on, and you just
throw social media on tomics, right. Imagine if they had
social media, then Bernardine would have been on Instagram blasting
the shit out that white lady.

Speaker 3 (31:00):
Somebody would have took a video of her all up
on Herbert in the club.

Speaker 1 (31:05):
Exactly. The slap would have been on the internet in
real time. You know, if social media existed, somebody would
have been in that office recording that shit. Like you
really could get away with murder back in the day.
Now not so much. Yeah, ye.

Speaker 3 (31:19):
The pool side, Yeah, we getting pictures of you ho exactly,
So here's like the I guess like the character breakdowns.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Right. So Savannah, which is played by Whitney Houston, she's
a successful career woman searching for love. Okay, so that's
a lot of women's stories. Like you know that you
got the men out here, the Red pel community and
other regular black men are saying, we don't give a
shit about y'all degrees, jobs, y'all be acting nasty when
you get them, and you know, we just want good women, right.

(31:52):
But it is the more money you make, the more
assets you acquire, sometimes it is hard to find love,
you know, because who really loves you? Who's trying to
use you? It's like we have to we have to
really And then the successful men don't really want a
woman that's as successful as them. It's like some maybe
it's a subconscious thing for them. I don't know that they.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
Don't even realize a power thing.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Yeah, because you can't really control this woman in a way.
Or maybe maybe women the more degrees you get, the
more money you make, maybe you aren't culchable, Maybe you
can't be led. You know, that's something to think about.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
What was a nigga name?

Speaker 1 (32:31):
Who?

Speaker 3 (32:32):
Uh? Who? She's like? I gave him twenty dollars. Gas
came to seven dollars and he didn't even bring me
my change and he was in here her tooth brush
and shit, there was like.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
And it was over like a couple like thirtys That
was the guy Robin was fucking with, right that Savannah?

Speaker 3 (32:56):
Really, Yeah, I'm gonna keep it at the zoo.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
Yeah, you know the damn movie orbat him nut.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
I noticed movie Girl and I just watched it over again.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
So yeah, so it says you. So she's trying to
like maintain her Savannah's trying to maintain her self respect
and recognize when a relationship isn't serving her right. So
that's a lot of our stories, like being able to
see when she's not working out and walk away earlyer.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
That's that be the part for me, mm hmm, because
I'll be mad about something and be like, I'm done
with this motherfucker, and then when I'm unmad, I let
him come back.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
The thing is I don't never get unmad because I
do hold grudges, right, So then what keeps happening is
that I'm just adjusting. I'm just like living in like
just adjusting. And you may not like who are to
come after a while, I'm.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
Not mad no more. I had to make a video
to myself. Look, I'm you're fucking stupid again.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Well, I don't be like just mad, let's just consistently mad.
But I I don't never forget you see what I'm saying.
So you think shit cool. I it's here and it
ain't going nowhere. I may not act mad every single
day because that's just not my I don't walk around mad.
I'm just my normal setting is happy.

Speaker 3 (34:25):
So you don't let shit go.

Speaker 1 (34:28):
Not really, I just put a people either. I don't.
It's not about not letting things go okay once Okay,
I put a sticky note on you, right. I may
not let that thing determine how I handle things with
you in the future. But if there is, like uh,
if I can tie this new thing to that thing,

(34:50):
it still exists. It's not that I didn't forget about it.
You're still doing the thing. Okay, you see what I'm saying,
So that I won't say that. I just hold grudges
and I'm just not fuck with you no more because
obviously I've fucked with people who have done some super
dirty shit to me, and I do give grace and
room for people to grow the same way I need
room to grow. But if the shit looked fucking routine,

(35:12):
I'm not gonna forget. I remember because I got it.
I've been at a sticky note on your ass. I
don't forget to the Bernardine character, which I think everybody
loves her character, right, I feel like she has like
had like the biggest, biggest part and the biggest storyline
in the movie for the most part. So I mean
her husband did the worst shit you could think of, right,

(35:33):
you help this man build this company together, I mean
build this company. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Now,
he's just like discarding you. You got children for him,
and he's like, I'll get them for the holidays, like
just not leaving you with nothing, which I don't even
understand how that can even happen. Like she put her
whole life to the side for his dreams.

Speaker 3 (35:51):
She made him her whole life. She did. We should
all take a lesson from that, because you'll fall in
love and you know, want to be the most supportive
partner and lose yourself and look up. And this nigga
has all this money now and done all these things
and if he don't love you anymore, now you just

(36:14):
lost her. King was definitely lost after this, like cut
my hair. If you don't come with a cut it,
I'll cut the shit like she didn't even know, like
you know, who she was was anymore without her.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
And then in today's time, Bernardine would be on social
media and there would be men calling her washed up
and baggage, baggage and all this shit because she gave
a man her whole life. Yep, you know, and now
they're acting like, Okay, you can't do any better. You know,
nobody wants you now, which is bullshit.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
Niggas at the seven and eleventh the other night where
the night got on the rollers in her head call
I had to take my girlfriend home.

Speaker 1 (36:55):
Do you remember that, yeah, dean man, Like, so I
am guilty of definitely losing myself in a relationship and
looking at not doing my hair no more. Meanwhile, this
nigga making jokes by how he looks younger than me,
and shit, because you are literally stealing my life force, right,

(37:16):
you know, because women we give a lot of ourselves
a lot of times, you know what I'm saying to
our partners. So I just don't know where the narrative
comes from that black women don't build with black men.
I just don't know where the fuck that came from.
If there's a lot of women who stopped, Okay, we
only concerned about ourselves now mm hmm, But there are

(37:37):
a lot of women out here who still.

Speaker 3 (37:43):
I think it's okay. I you know, I'm definitely open
to it. I would definitely want to build with a
black man. I want to create legacy and build something.
I just don't It has to be a healthy balance
where I'm not lost in the sauce, you know, where
I'm so overcome with your goals and dreams that I
forget my own. That's what I'm afraid of. You know

(38:03):
that also happens with women who become mothers. You know,
they get so caught up in being a good mom
that they forget themselves.

Speaker 1 (38:15):
I think what most women are looking for is just reciprocity.
Like you know what I'm saying. We just wanted to
be reciprocal. If I do a few, you do for me, Like,
why can it not be like that? It's like a
lot of men are looking for therapists and they're also
looking for a secretary get somebody to do busy work
for them, things that they don't feel like doing, even
when you already have a whole plate full of shit

(38:36):
as an adult to do, you know, because let's not
forget we work also we do shit. And then now
it comes to Robin played by Leila Rashwan. So she
just has all these like casual relationships and shit. I
think she has a problem like establishing what her self

(38:58):
worth actually is and it comes out in promiscuity. Right,
So I think nearing the end of the movie you
kind of see where she just I'm done with this shit.
I might to be by myself.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
She just wanted to be love and she was a
bit naive too.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
You think he's sole about wallet, Yes, bitch, yes, it's
like that bigga stole three to five dollars out my
damn poker book while he was giving me some head,
same shit.

Speaker 3 (39:31):
Enjoying their little life while you care, girlfriend. What a
low life while you care girlfriend? And see it's the
it's the characters like Robin.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
Right. She she actually, you know what, expressed how she
wanted a relationship, how she wanted to be loved. Now
we got the whole fucking nigga culture out here now.
But y'all are having kids for these men, right, y'all
too want to be loved. That's really what women want.
So while you out here, yeah, so why are you
out here saying? You know you're doing it for me?

(40:02):
You fucking all these niggas for you? You sure?

Speaker 3 (40:04):
Right?

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Are you really sure? You know what I'm saying? Like, Yeah,
I'm all for a woman empowerment and you know, being
able to do whatever you want to do with your huha.
That is absolutely fine. But let's go back to earlier
we talked back HOWE doesn't heal period?

Speaker 3 (40:24):
Okay, I listen everybody that I got, I take it
back right now, every single one of us.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
You hear me. I feel like, who the fuck would
I keep on the rgenda? Like nobody, nobody, you know
what I'm saying. I don't feel like I missed out
on anybody I ever been with, period, And I could
still get the niggas back if I wanted.

Speaker 3 (40:49):
To listen and not saying that everybody was just awful
human beings. It just was a waste of agenda. So
waste of my agenda for my agenda. All right. Then
there was Gloria Gloria was one of my favorite characters
because such a mama. She's such a mama bear, not

(41:09):
just to her son but to all of them. Seem
like right, yeah, And.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
She liked the senior friend. I don't know if she
was on the same age with them or not, but
she just always seems so much older than any role
she plays Loretta divine.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
But I think once you become a mama, sometimes happens
to you. You already just that role happens where you
just kind of calm down, become the mama bear for everybody.
Sometimes you out here with kids.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
And she had the oldest well between her and Bernardine,
I think they were only two with kids and her
son was older. So that, you know, lead us to
believe that she got probably married young, had the child,
and now she's fine in love later on in.

Speaker 3 (41:53):
Life, right, And then having her ex, the person that
she you know, looks too for Roman tell her that
he's now gay. On that part, she was like, you
don't have to pretend to be You don't got to
do all of that, nigga. You know, I'm not joking,
It's is serious. You know, I've been bisexual for a

(42:14):
long time. And now fully gay.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
I forgot about that part, bitch. That is definitely some
nowadays type shit.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
Mm hmm. That is so current, that's very current. It
was ahead of his time, actually.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
But at least he was honest, you know, That's that
doesn't happen often nowadays. We find out in the clinic,
we find out from the from the men.

Speaker 3 (42:40):
But you know, honestly, a lot of these women today,
I won't say a lot, but some, especially younger women,
are preferring that they man be bisexual or gay. What
it was Doci saying, like a red flag is a
straight man. She was being I hope she was being
sarcastic and not. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
Yeah, But even in that case, right, even though you
have women out here who are openly like accepting to
that type of situation, you still have the men being
deceitful because I think they get off on being sneaky.
You know, they still go after the women who are
okay with you. I'd be telling the truth, I'd be

(43:18):
telling the truth. I'm not being hard on them. These
are like the hard facts HIV and I'm listen, I'm
not trying to put that stigma on gay men. But
the statistic show. I saw some data that said seventy
two of trans women have HIV. That is high.

Speaker 3 (43:36):
I need to see that. I don't know if that's true.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
I swear to God. I swear to God my vagina.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
Okay, yes, but I'm saying maybe the publication was reporting
some some things that might be not factual to promote,
like trans hate or something.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
No, I don't think so. I think that ud. You
read that book back in the day, the d O
bro Dl brother.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
Did you read that book? Dog?

Speaker 1 (44:02):
That shit was so eye opening? Another other shit I
should probably not have been reading in twelfth grade problem,
I mean, why not? But was it that long ago?
I might have been in college at the time when
that book came out. But this is a supposed heterosexual
man who's now out right, and then he's talking about

(44:23):
that DL world Eric Jeron Dickie. I can't remember the guy.
I can't remember the author who wrote it ball head,
nice looking black man.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
I think it might be that, but I might be wrong.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Yeah, but he he puts some stuff and now I'm like, yo,
this is fucking scary, you know, just like them not
wanting to use condoms, because then they are consciously now
you because you put that condom on, You're about to
have sex with this man. You are consciously making a
decision to have sex with a man. So they actually

(44:58):
were not having sex with me, because then they can
pretend like, I don't know, it's just like some old
out of body shit like it wasn't me, it was
the ship was deep. Okay, it was too deep, man.
I'm telling you, so who do you more? Who do
you more?

Speaker 3 (45:19):
That's what I was about to ask you, Like which
one of you? If I had to identify with a
character most, I feel like I'm a hybrid. First of all,
there's a little bit of me and every one of
these characters can identify with all in certain ways. But
if I had to, it's not for Gloria because we
meant no kids for real. I guess no. But I

(45:40):
can't identify with being selfish. She's selfish with her son.
She wanted him to stay home, she didn't want him
to go out for New Year's Eve. You know, she
was always on him. You know, I can identify with
that because I can be like that, you know. But
I would have to say Robin and Savannah mostly being

(46:03):
gold driven and you know, want in love and trying
not to reconcile my career, my ambitions for a relationship,
but still wanting those things. And then Robin sometimes being
I know, I can be a hopeless romantic and be
a bit naive and try to like see everything through

(46:25):
rose colored glasses into instead of seeing things for what
they really are sometimes because it's just better to like
be in this fairy tale than to be in a reality.
I definitely can identify with Robin with that now, with
that stealing money out my purse. Oh no, that's where
I dont lie. You know, I lost your minds them.

Speaker 1 (46:47):
I definitely think I'm a hybrid between Savannah and Robin
as well, with a little dash of Bernardine because I
won't help a nigga build some shit, right. I think
I'm more Savannah when I'm in a relationship gun and
I'm more Robbing when I'm single, because when I'm single,
I give myself a mission to do all the things.

(47:07):
But I am simultaneously looking for love, like I'm looking
for another relationship. May not be consciously looking, and things
might just happen, but I and I already kind of
be knowing, like where I want to go at next too.

Speaker 3 (47:21):
Yeah, I bet I know you.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
But look, this is the first time in life I'm
really like, you know, if this current relationship doesn't work out,
I'm cool. I swear. That's where I'm at, Like, I'm
really cool on you know. If something happens, something happens.
If it doesn't, it doesn't, I'm not actively This shit
is not easy, dog, Okay, it's not easy.

Speaker 3 (47:47):
It's not so.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
I mean, I feel like this would be my last
relationship honestly that I would like actively be trying to pursue.
I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
I don't believe that.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
I swear to God, girl, you is the love of girl.

Speaker 3 (48:01):
The fuck you talk about?

Speaker 1 (48:06):
You know, life is this life, especially in America, it's
just based off of double occupancy. You are not supposed
to be out here trying to do it by yourself. Okay,
you know what I'm saying. So I have always been
looking for a teammate, a real life teammate, and I
just never got that for real. Out of any of
my partners. The closest I got to it was was

(48:27):
the guy I was going to marry, but he was
just not a good manager. You know, these niggas want
to lead, like you, you are not a good manager.
Your fucking employees be trying to get the fuck from
around you too, Like you're just not a good manager.
So I am somebody who could be led if you
leading me in the right direction. And I also want
somebody who can be led, like I want to be

(48:48):
able to teach and be taught. That's what I would
like in a relationship.

Speaker 3 (48:53):
Yeah, that's fair. I definitely want somebody to steer the ship.
I don't want to be in charge.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
You say that until it happens. Girl, That's exactly what
I tell my mom, Like my stepdaddy is made for you. Okay,
you think you want a strong man, you're not gonna
be able to do the type of ship to them
that you think.

Speaker 3 (49:13):
I don't want to do the type of ship. I
want someone. I've been the captain of this ship for
a long time. I want somebody to come and steer.
I want someone that I could be like, I trust
him to make good decisions. Now, I don't want like
a dictator. I don't want to like.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
It's a thin line, like for real, Like it's just
I just haven't been able to find that sweet spot,
like the middle ground. Yeah, it's either they leaning on
you too much or they bullying you. Like the fuck,
where is the sweet spot?

Speaker 3 (49:45):
That's what I want, the sweet spot. Someone who can
trust my counsel, but you know, has a good uh
a good decision maker, you know. Yeah, yeah, that's what
I would like. One thing I want to say is
that I can appreciate from this movie is because they

(50:07):
had some fucked up scenarios going on, but it wasn't
no judgment amongst them. Like, there wasn't out there just
harshly judging each other. And we didn't see them talking
talking about each other behind their back and see none
of that you ladies, y'all be doing that to y'all friends,
y'all been a job.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
So let's just get into like that. Then let's just
get into like how important, like the like just the
power of female friendships are because you got a lot
of women out here to be like I just got homeboys,
like girl, get you're ugly.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
Right, female friends. That's a red flag for me because
how you don't have no sisters. I love my girls,
I love you. You know, I want us to be great.
I I you know, I ain't gonna sit here a
lot I have talked shit like I would be like.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
It ain't shit. You ain't gonna talk to them too,
that you wouldn't talk to them?

Speaker 3 (51:07):
No, probably I already talked to them, and now I'm
vitting to somebody else. Why we argue about the ship.
I said, now one thing I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
say what I'm gonna say. Now, you know, I don't
really like throw the rock and hote my hand type
of girl. I'm gonna definitely say what I Yeah, I
said that, Yeah, I said it. I said to you first,
you know, like you know, so you don't have to

(51:27):
question that, which is a gift and a curse too,
because sometimes shit don't need to be said to them
or nobody. You know.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
See you have a friend group where everybody is like
a bunch of people in the friend group, right See,
I don't really have that anymore. It's like it's splintered now.
So I got like friends from high school. I got
my best friend from high school, and then I have
my couple friends from college who not like there was
a group, right but some are gone and then some

(51:59):
still here that I still communicate with. Where we don't
communicate with the other people that's out the group, you
know what I'm saying. So it's kind of splintered my
friend my friend groups. But then I have like one
off people like my homegirl Killer who I met when
I lived in Saint Louis, Like she know everybody fucking business,
but I don't necessarily tell people her business, you know
what I'm saying, Like, because these people ain't gonna never
meet no way. So if I'm vtting about some shit

(52:22):
that a friend from this other friend group did, like
there would be no reason for Kayla to ever give
me this to this person. Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
So I never like talking shit with roommate. Yes, I
don't really have a friend group to talk shit about
a friend then where everybody knows that person. Yeah, you

(52:42):
see what I'm saying, And.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
That can become a problem. It can become a big
problem when you have like a friend group and y'all
vent to each other about shit with each other. I've
seen that.

Speaker 1 (52:53):
Yeah, yeah, so that is a that is a plus.
That is the thing that we saw on the show
where black women were really showing up for each other
in her real way and not beating each other backs
and on the lower because even need that.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
Even the scene when Gloria, Loretta Devine and Savannah Whitney
Houston were on the ferris wheel and she was like,
can I ask you a question? She was like, did
you get with Herbert? She was like, I needed to
get late, so I did. She's like, now he come

(53:28):
into my house calling all times to night, like Herbert wanted.

Speaker 1 (53:32):
That pussy again bad.

Speaker 3 (53:35):
But Gloria definitely was disappointed in her, but she didn't
treat her poorly or call her a hole or beat
her down. Ask her friend, and y'all do that to
each other. You gotta start.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
And I mean, as a woman, I just don't know
how you get through life without like just some type
of support system from other women. You know what I'm saying.
We all be going through some of the same similar shit.
I remember my homegirl when I left my ex, like
she had left hers first. She left her dude first, right,
so it's like we were like bonding over these narks essentially, right,

(54:16):
she left hers. I left mine for real and I
was done. I was fucking done. But she went back.
I'm like, bitch, wit you breaking the cold? What happened?
You know? But I still supported her and going back,
and I still you know when she had had still
ongoing bullshit with this person that she was still because
they were married, so it was a little bit different, right,
I didn't get to the marriage stage. She was actually
married to this person, right, so you know, I was

(54:38):
still listening to her when she was going through all
the things. Never judged her, none of that shit. Like, girl,
I understand, I get it, I understand it. But in
the back of my mind, I'm like, what the fuck
did you go back? It wasn't gonna be any different.
I really don't think people change much when you get
to a certain age. So you know what I'm saying, Like,
if you change, it's not gonna be for you, it's
gonna be for the next woman, right.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
Were the same person, they may not change. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
Yeah, So we want to know from y'all, like tell
us the time, like where one of your homegirls like
have helped you through a really tough time. They don't
even have to be about relationships with a man or
a woman whatever, because you know, y'all, y'all motherfuckers is gay.
I know anything. I know it's fun. It's fun because

(55:25):
I just be playing that's right. But yeah, so which
friend do you think you are and your friend group?
Based on these characters?

Speaker 3 (55:34):
Which friend do I think I am? Yeah, I'm definitely Gloria.
As a friend, I'm definitely Gloria.

Speaker 1 (55:44):
Oh and I'm Robin because I'll be ready to like
call this ain't John bitch.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
I'll be definitely the one on the phone. Cut some
motherfucker out by my friend. Put me on the phone,
give me the phone. I'm so I'm robbing in that way.
But I'm definitely Gloria in the I can be like
very nurturing and I get real motherly on my friends.
Come lay on my shoulder. Here's my shoulder. We're gonna
get through this together. I love you and I'm gonna
support you hugely and you're gonna feel it. So I

(56:12):
think i'm that too.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
I think I'm Bernardine and Robin. I just like how
angry Bernardine was, Like that's high being when I get
to level ten for real, like you said, as a friend, Yeah,
I know, as I'm just thinking about, like, yeah, still
bitch as a friend, but Bernadine got angry as a friend,

(56:35):
I ain't see that. I will get angry and blow
up my friend. Car up, I'm just playing you ain't bitch, No,
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (56:49):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (56:49):
I think that for whatever reason, I feel like I
probably possess all these women, you know what I'm saying,
and some type of ways. As a friend, would I
be asking Gloria like did you fuck that nigga? And
absolutely I'm the friend that keeps tally of the niggas

(57:09):
you've had sex with. So when you forget and act
like you ain't ever cheat on your nigga, I'm like, bitch,
you remember. See that's what I don't tell you all
about whole facts right there? Girls, I'd be like I
telling y'all listen, I got a home. Girl ass just
be lying to me like, which, I know you our
whole lives?

Speaker 3 (57:28):
Like, girl, shut up, I forgot.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
And here I am going through my notes on my
phone up phone on January twenty nineteen, girl, and with
my whole whole facts. I'm not friend, okay, In case
you forgot, I'm your whole facts, your whole fact checker. Yes,

(57:56):
I think I probably am. I'm probably all of them
wrapped up in one. I'm gonna be nurturing you know what,
I'm saying, like like Gloria is could be serious, like Savannah,
I could be ditsy like a Robin, you know what
I'm saying, not knowing what the fuck is going on,
but not so much.

Speaker 3 (58:13):
But ready to turn up. Robin be the one that's
that's me. And but you like, don't do that, y'all,
like it's not worth it. So I guess you know,
it's a little bit of every character in us.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
All. Yeah, Bernadette a little sneaky, she'd be done. She
didn't even tell her friends about it. And until somebody
asked about that, shit, that's me.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
Who are gonna tell her that nobody heard? Yeah, that's
me a little bit.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
So I don't know. Do you think any of them
had like some who had the most red flags as
a woman, like you would think Robin Robin had the
most red flags?

Speaker 3 (58:52):
What do you mean like when you say red flags?
Like was she the most toxic or was she yeah,
the most toxic? Shit both?

Speaker 1 (59:00):
You know what I'm saying, Because you know, any I
really feel like when you fuck with anybody, it's like
a small aspect of who you are too. That's even
with friends like me and you friends because there's a
part of you that I'm like, you see what I'm saying.
So even with Robin fucking these dudes like that was
still an aspect of her, Like however they were, was
an aspect of her. You are who you beat basically.

Speaker 3 (59:22):
Yeah, I don't know. I guess they all were equally
toxic in their own way. I don't feel like anybody
was more toxic than the other. And in terms of
how they dealt with their situations, they were just women
trying to figure it out. Man.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
So Robin, like she just always like was entertaining men
that just weren't emotionally available.

Speaker 3 (59:44):
Yeah. Character what was his name.

Speaker 1 (59:51):
I don't know, Eric, the men the.

Speaker 3 (59:53):
Dark skinned one, she was like fat fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
So. There was a Kenneth, there was a John, there
was a Rustle, and there was a Troy.

Speaker 3 (01:00:05):
Troy, that's that's not Troy was the one Marvin have
a fruit bowl, bitch.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
That was.

Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
A rebound disaster.

Speaker 3 (01:00:15):
It was the guy that worked with her that he
was like, I own a house in Scottsdale. She's like,
I want to go on vacations and dinner and you know,
like I want to be happy. When she was in
the bed with him. He was like, oh, coming him,
what was his name? I don't remember. I don't know, yeah,

(01:00:39):
I can't remember. But that was another time where Gloria
was like, well, remember you broke up with him, so
don't embarrass us and don't embarrass yourself. Just be a
motherly yes, don't forget bitch, right, like the only one
that was like stable and like could have taken her serious.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
But she didn't like him, you see, because she liked
the emotionally unavailable men.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
So right, don't look at me, bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:01:11):
I know.

Speaker 3 (01:01:14):
That's why I said her in so many ways only
except for the money part, the nigga stealing from me
because I hold lodallar so tight, the eagle scream on
that bitch, do not play with me by my money.

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
Shame. So let's just let's quickly go through like the
different archetypes of these men, right quick, and wrap this
shit the fuck up. So Kenneth was the married manipulator, okay, charming,
emotionally manipulative, and full of all the fucking empty promises.

(01:01:51):
He even convinced, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
I was gonna say, you went to so self righteous
when you were fucking my brains out.

Speaker 1 (01:01:58):
So he convinced Savannah that that she's special while refusing
to leave his wife. Right, so he just wanted her
to wait to side. I mean, Whitney Houston had a
whole song about it. How the song go, the sidebitch
song with East.

Speaker 3 (01:02:12):
Oh, you're talking about the best side bitch anthem. First
of all, I did not know that was a sidebach
anthem until I got always knew. I always knew stolen moments.

Speaker 1 (01:02:23):
Yeah, you got your family and they need just.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
Yeah, that's what she may be in the sidebach sounds
so beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
I know, it was so nice.

Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
We forgot.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
We didn't listen to the words. It's just sounding an
angel singing about side bitch activity.

Speaker 3 (01:02:43):
About being in love with side digetivities.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
Yeah, so Kenneth was full of shit, Okay, but.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
The way I just feel like the way Savannah fans
on him at the at the pool side, you ain't
had to do all of that because you was complicit
to this very moment, and now you so she wasn't. Yeah,
but why are you not going to drink on him though?
Just say you don't want to be involved no more
and go, because you was complicit the whole time and
he was okay with it, quiet while he on the

(01:03:14):
phone with his bitch. Now you're mad, and now you're
gonna throw a drink on him. I don't understand that.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
Part, because he was selling her a dream. Like you know,
she probably initially started off being quiet, you know, while
he on the phone, because he's supposed to eventually leave
her for Savannah, leave his wife.

Speaker 3 (01:03:34):
Or then he said another baby on the way.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
Yeah, she just was aggravated and probably more mad at
herself than him.

Speaker 3 (01:03:40):
That's that's who she should have been mad at, right.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
Yeah, so John John was like a He was like
a selfish ass fucking narcissist right exactly, dismissive of his
partner's sacrifices and financial financially controlling. Uh, And he.

Speaker 4 (01:03:59):
Leaves the motherfucking purple and fluid, and he leaves her,
He leaves Bernandine for a younger woman with no remorse
at all.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
He was cold as fuck, a younger white woman at that.
But he would be dead today.

Speaker 3 (01:04:19):
To be better if you were black.

Speaker 1 (01:04:21):
Oh you know all the scenes, you are really in
that job.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
I love I love movies, you know I love movies.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
Russell. He is the he's a bachelor, sing soccer, emotionally unavailable,
commitment phobic. He uses this charm to get robbed in
a psycle of hope and disappointment. Child, we don't need you,
he was, and look, yeah, the modern equivalent to him

(01:04:54):
would be like the person who avoids the labels. You know,
I talked about a person before we started recording, okay,
saying they're not ready for the relationship but still wants
the benefits of one. Right, Yeah, that's who Russell is.
So y'all a lot of y'all would Russell right the
fuck now?

Speaker 3 (01:05:11):
Okay, a lot of y'all laying next to Russell right now.

Speaker 1 (01:05:14):
Yeah, And y'all really need to write Russell a letter
like Elementary and say check yes or no so you
can know what y'all got going on, because y'all just
farmers right now, they got going on.

Speaker 3 (01:05:26):
They know.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
Women don't be okay, women, do they really be knowing?
I feel like I be knowing right because I don't hallucinate.
But sometimes people can get things confused with raw sex, trips,
meeting families, meeting your children, all the things and the men,
and I ask you, what are we doing? What are

(01:05:49):
we It's like.

Speaker 3 (01:05:52):
Farmers, we just fucking around.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
Yeah, so I do think women get confused because because
why the man maybe like verbally saying one thing, he's
physically doing something else. And then Toy is just like
I said before, the rebound disaster. Okay, he's immature, he's reckless, disrespectful. Yeah,
Robin chaotic escape from her emotions, but it's not capable

(01:06:20):
of providing true partnership. He's just so, he's just that
nigga that he's the availability dick. Okay, you don't really
want him, and the man you really want ain't available
right now, so you're just settling for this bullshit and
hopefully eventually you can get the fuck up out of there.

Speaker 3 (01:06:39):
Yeah, he was trying to get her to meet his
mama and his son, and they had only been talking
for three weeks or something like that. It wasn't even
that long, yep.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
And then you got Gloria, right, Gloria has Marvin. They
have him labeled as a genuine healer. Okay, he's supportive, patient,
emotionally mature. He genuinely it cares for Gloria without manipulation
or self selfish motives. So like a modern day equivalent
to him would be just an emotionally secure partner who's

(01:07:09):
ready for a committed relationship. And a lot of women
ask for that. But I do also believe there's a
lot of women, a lot of women ain't ready for it.
A lot of women say they want a man that's
emotionally intelligent. But he gonna call you fat. He's gonna
tell you, baby, you need to work out, baby, he's
going no, absolutely, he ain't gonna call you fat. He
going come on, let's go to the gym, or or

(01:07:32):
he's gonna tell you when you not showing up right
completely for him.

Speaker 3 (01:07:36):
And I'm to receive it our part, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:07:42):
Are you able to receive an emotionally intelligent man? Because hey,
you can't show up as an arc with him, right, okay?
Because one thing about it, men are not dealing with
the ship that we deal with as women. They're not
doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:54):
And when Margaret told her the truth about how she
was handling her son, she was mad. She could not
handle it. She spassed out, she crashed out, leave, go
get the fuck home, Go to your motherfucker house across
the street, because my son about to leave it. You
saying maybe he's not the one who needs to come
to his census. She's like, bitch, get out. You remember

(01:08:17):
that part m.

Speaker 1 (01:08:18):
Hm, and what she had to do. Go back and
apologize that man.

Speaker 3 (01:08:21):
Yeah, who's this good man? Because you're trying to be
attached to your son. Let that son go on mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (01:08:29):
Let him love because how you who's the man in
the house. It's no room for me in here.

Speaker 3 (01:08:35):
Marvin was played by Damn. Name is on the tip
of my tongue. He was a tap dancer. He's a
very talented tap dancer in the eighties and nineties. Fuck
that hurts my feelings. I don't know his name right now,
and be on tip of my tongue anytime. Gregory Hines yep,

(01:08:56):
mm hm, m hm, yep.

Speaker 1 (01:09:01):
Yeah. So we want to know which friend are you? Which,
like just women are you in general when it comes
to relationships? Out of these characters, what else we want
to know?

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
Okay, So, no, we got some homework for y'all this week.
If y'all are journal girlies, even if you're not journal girlies,
let's start all right, So get into your journal and
right now, what's one toxic relationship pattern you're ready to
exhale from?

Speaker 2 (01:09:30):
Mm?

Speaker 3 (01:09:32):
Write that shit down? For yourself, girlfriend, And what about
writing down what would your waiting to exhale moment look
like for you? And what's going on in your life
and which character's journey inspires you the most? And why
journal it? Bitch?

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
I had that big town.

Speaker 3 (01:09:53):
Yeah, let's get in. That's a good friend, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:09:56):
Yeah, yea, No, I'm gonna write my shit down. I
got a lot of toxic traits, deflection, all types of shit,
I know. But the thing is, i'd be consciously aware
of the things I can. I can tell you what
I did, And here's I actually like to tell people
what I did wrong first, even like, let me tell
you what I did first, and you tell me if
I'm tripping it or not. That's when I really start

(01:10:17):
with my shit, and then I'll tell you what else
happened after that? Okay, what could have possibly what I
could have possibly done to start the shit and maybe
avoided the shit? Right, It's what I'm gonna start with
most of the time.

Speaker 3 (01:10:30):
So yeah, it's getting on our journals, girlies, and let's
write this shit down so we can be better.

Speaker 1 (01:10:35):
Yeah, man, better friends, better lovers, y'all like this?

Speaker 3 (01:10:41):
Yeah, this is fine, I know. Next week I want
to do I really want to get into a thin
line between eleve and hate. We need to talk about Brandy.
Can we do it?

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
We know of Brandy in real life too, same first
and last name. Yeah, yeah, we want to let us
know if y'all enjoyed this episode though, right, and we're
gonna I want to do it. We could do like
one more. We could break it down this ship, this
is This was fun to me.

Speaker 3 (01:11:11):
Yeah, it was a lot of fun, all right, y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:11:14):
So if you enjoy this episode, y'all, tune in every
Thursday and the Black Effect iHeart Radio app. Whoever the
fuck you get your podcast that. This is your co
host aj Holiday two point zero on Instagrams. We want
to see them them journals all right, kick journal injuries.

Speaker 3 (01:11:28):
We want to see it and we want to read
it and be nosy y'all. Is official tam Bam on Instagram.
Please follow me. I love y'all so much. Thank y'all
for tuning in. Remember speak now.

Speaker 1 (01:11:40):
And never hold your breath.

Speaker 3 (01:11:41):
Okay, never hold your breath. Breathe, bitch, breathe.

Speaker 1 (01:11:45):
Four more podcasts from iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Podcasts or whatever. You listen to your favorite shows