July 3, 2025 • 51 mins
In this episode of We Talk Back, AJ Holiday and TamBam kick things off by recapping their weekend adventures and reflecting on themes of celebration, self-image, and growth. The conversation dives into the world of situationships, unpacking the emotional gray areas and the pressure of societal expectations in modern dating. As they share personal stories and honest perspectives, the hosts explore how views on love and commitment evolve—especially as women prioritize emotional stability and compatibility over fairy tale endings. With humor and candor, they highlight the importance of clarity, self-awareness, and the courage it takes to navigate connection in today’s dating landscape. Let’s discuss. Tap in and join the conversation.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up
Big Tam Bam?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Y'all, it's Tam Bam. I love y'all so so very much.
I love you to AJ. How you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'm fine, y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
We just got finished.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
So that's why, bitch, I'm fine. I don't think we
should all the things bitch. I was outside Saturday.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It was cute too.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Yeah, I'm posted my dress. Yeah I bought that dress.
Uh So let me back up a little bit. All right,
So y'all, there there are some elite black people in Charleston,
thank god. Okay, No, people be thinking Charleston just is
super ratchet. But this little crowd of people like from
age I don't know, like thirty five to thirty eight,
(01:06):
like they really be having shit going on here. So
don Lucci Prosecco and Rose is your first black owned
uh wine brand in South Carolina. Okay, Yeah, so they
had their Ruby the Ruby event this weekend, and I
(01:27):
did do like a little brief interview sweating late per usual.
I'm never really late. I'm gonna stop saying that. I
think I always be on time because I might have
missed the accident early. No, they got there when they
were supposed to, and.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I that's full shit, that's what way to look at it.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, and I got there when I was supposed to
because I still got things done. But man, the shit
was outside. It was hot as fuck. But it was beautiful. Okay,
it was so beautiful. And these men they pay attention
to the very small, intricate details of everything. The girl
they had caveat. They had pizza with their little brand.
Everything was branded, the candles, the pillows on the on
(02:09):
the sofas.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
They had somebody sitting there paint because it wasn't a museum,
the Gibbs Museum here in Charleston, so they had their
there are different. They got three different wines and champagne.
They had it like you know how you put in
like the glass case like a museum. It was so nice.
You go in the bathroom, they got the bottle with
the little lampshade on it, like like, how y'all know
(02:31):
to do this stuff? Everything smallest details? Yes, I love
that it was so nice, and yes, I had my
little dress on. Chak, I saw you I had it
was a couple of pounds for that dress because I
have bought that dress for in April to wear to
(02:53):
remember that movie premiere. I went to Miami. I bought
it to wear there. But the ship was too fucking
tight because that ship is one hundred percent cotton. It
ain't no stretch. It's either you getting in it and
there you're not. Yes, And I got in there. I
got in there. I don't pull some pictures. And then
we went out Sunday. We went for brunch Sunday.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Sitting up so good. You haven't it didn't.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Look like nothing, girl, girl, I almost put a brawn.
I glad I didn't boy, because that would have been milking.
And I had ship on underneath that dress. Nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I think like since I lost weight, I lost titties too,
Like I just think I need a boy.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
So at this point, leave them titties alone, because I know,
you know people who have since gotten them titties removed.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I just up at the top, like it's all sitting up.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
We'll get the fat transferred to the titty down't see
how long that last? Instead, I wonder if I get
my back exactly. My homegirl had got her body done
in Saint Louis a long time ago, very like whoever
she wants to. If I get some shit done, I'm
flying to Saint Louis because it was like very very natural.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Because I want something. I put my fat in my
titty because.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I didn't get titties though. So what her doctor told
her is that all of all the women, the white women,
all want the fat put into their titties, and all
the all the black women want the fat put in
their ass. So she got the fat to the ass. Okay,
so she ain't get no titties.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Take my back, put it in my boots.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
And if you need some extra fat, I'll don't how
big you want them.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I just want I don't even want bigger titties because
I don't want big titties. I just don't want like
they just all my girth is at the bottom. It's
just like a slope, like a beginner's ice skin slope.
You go flat across the top and then like a
little cuppage at the bottom. I hate that. So I
(04:48):
can't fill out of dress. I can't like it's so
weird because dresses, like, because I'm so bottom heavy like
the top, they'll assume that you got something up top,
so it just be like empty in the top and
like real full at the bottom.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
That little stuff it.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Don't it's too tight at the bottom. We'll struggle with that.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Mm hmm. But that was my outside. I was outside
all weekend, y'all. We did a Sunday fun Day brunch
from I was outside from one to eight on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh you was outside this week? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Now I'm recuperating, bitch, I've been fasten. I'm not eating
until Thursday. This watering the water fast. So yeah, don't
be getting my nerves. That was the first thing I said.
It's like, girl, I'm like really like texting you back,
like I haven't ate. I'm gonna need you to get
off my nuts because don't y'all sucking hung Im about
(05:45):
to take a bite out of crime.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
If someone saying can you send that a SAP, does
that mean right then or does that mean as soon
as possible? I thought, as yeah, let us know what
y'all think. Somebody say I need this a SAP versus
can you send that as soon as possible? Afterny for
as soon as possible.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Which one y'all prefer. Don't tell me to do shiit
asap because I can't.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I can't do nothing A sap sandwich, that's a problem.
You had to say what She would have just read
that and be like cool. But because she was hungry,
it was all like crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Or because I had a lot of shit to do.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
So listen, my weekend. It was my besties dad's seventy
seventy seventy. I can't seventieth birthday say that shit to
save my life just now. And they were supposed to
go to New Orleans and all the flights out of
Charlotte got canceled from for a storm. It was like bad,
Like the airport was just crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
It was raining.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
No, it was just lightning storm.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
That's crazy. It's been happening over the whole country. One
of my people in Texas was saying they had an
electrical storm, Like so shit was going out because of
the thunder and the lightning.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't raining, It wasn't. It was
just like the real sharp So they just couldn't fly
and like a couple of my clients got grounded. They
were going to New Orleans, my friend her and her bad.
So we was like, we want to still make his
birthday a good one. So we took him to this
restaurant in Charlick called Deluxe Fun Dining where the food
comes out on like all these crazy trays and smoke
(07:19):
and like different stuff. And we started we were drinking,
taking shots, and this man could drink. I like, I
haven't been drinking in a long time. And last week
when I could drink, I just had me like an
espresso martini. You know, I didn't really like go crazy,
but Saturday I had four shots of tequila. When I
(07:40):
tell you, I was down bad Sunday and Monday, like
so bad yesterday that my blood pressure was one one
ten over fifty eight.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Oh hell no, bitch, I was so dehydrated. That was
so dehydrated and need to go get some PDA.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah I did, I did. I got me. I got
a watermelon and I ate a whole watermelon and I
drank four bottles of water in Apedia, like just to
get myself back together. But yeah, that was my weekend.
We turned up for his seventy years.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, it was a good time. But I don't think
I like liquor no more. I think I'm done with liquor.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
That's not my homegirl. She just had a baby, and
she was like, I don't think I'm a drink no more.
Like I don't even miss it, Like why I'm drinking.
I'm like, yeah, it is poison, you know. I'm always
consciously aware of what it is that I'm partaking in,
and every time I drink, I'd be like, man, I'm
just poisoning my body. And that's why I don't drink often.
I might go outside five times a year for real,
five six times a year, So I'm drinking five or
(08:36):
six times for real, like aside from like a vaca.
If I go on vacation, I'm drinking. If I go
like outside a Saturday, I might have one or two drinks.
I don't indulge that often, and when I do, I
be fucked up the next day. Luckily, I ain't drink
nothing on Sunday, but I did drink a little bit
on Saturday, and luckily I was all right.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Luckily, me, me and my best friend get together. We
just be fu like.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It's just fun. I want to be loud and cussing
and talking loud like I don't want to be sober.
Everybody else drunk because nah, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Mad, irritated. Yeah, y'all are ignorant, you know, but that
was my weekend and now I'm finally getting back. I
couldn't even go to the gym yesterday, y'all. It was
so bad, Like my doctor was like, if you try
to go to the gym with this blood person right now,
you might faint. Just stay home, drink water and put
your feet up. So yeah, that's what I did. But
I'm going today to this evening.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Let's getting the sins they doe. So apparently female frogs
take their death to avoid meeting with males they don't
find attractive.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
It's not just us, it's not us.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
The only difference is if we fake our fucking death,
the nigga stole might come and try to hump on
your ass, right.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
They like they're talking, full body limp, floating upside down,
even holding their breath. It's the ultimate ghost move for
a frog, like I'm dead. I'm dead.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Now, I did that in a relationship now, pretending like
I'm sleep like we get in might that I'm planning
to have sex and all that shit I done changed
my my mind by the time we get home, Like
I'm I'm pretend sleeping hard as hell.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I definitely pretended to be sick to not have to
do it. I ain't think i'mna rock bucket.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there.
When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there.
Like we gotta do this.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Sometimes it just don't feel like it, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yeah, and then you can't deprive your partner of sex.
But god, damn, I'm gonna just be acting like a frog.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Be dead.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I'm dead. That's our little kids be. I've then one
eye open. I'm dead now. They't gonna be like, OPI
your mouth.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
They do not care.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
We're dad man. They're still trying to hump on you.
So I'm frogs.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Statistically, if you live in Utah, you're more likely to
get married than if you live anywhere else in the
United States. According to the CDC and Sisters dadd and
you Tak consistently ranks among the top states for marriage rates,
with over twenty one point nine marriages per one thousand women. Damn,
(11:39):
that's it, well above the national average. With culture, community values,
or early commitment norms. Utah makes marriage more common than
anywhere else. You know.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You sent this post to me and when I saw it,
I went to go google. Are people in Utah generally pretty?
And they actually? You know, because I was thinking, like,
you know, I started his post on Instagram one day
and I don't know what I can't remember what city
it was, but he was like, man, everybody in the
city ugly.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
How about Columbia? So I'm Carolina.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
No, Colombia is not ugly. People in Columbia are not ugly.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So but remember that man was like, yo, I'm in
Colombia and all these bitches is ugly and they ate
him up.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Oh we had him on the show, I remember. But meanwhile,
you're looking like, I don't know, doctor Umar reject, Like
you look like a doctor Umar reject, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
How do you do that? And they call it somebody ugly?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah, Columbia has very beautiful people. But I can't remember
what city this person was in, but he was just like,
I see why everybody coupled up here. Everybody ugly. So
that's what I was thinking about Utah. But apparently Utah
is like number twelve on the list for most beautiful people.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
So maybe that's where I need to go. Looking from
our partner.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You gonna get your partner for sure, a partner in Utah.
I don't know who the fuck is living in Utah.
Maybe they got a good military base with some niggas
hidden over there. See about it, Yeah, Utah. So another
study shows by age thirty five, many women have stopped
(13:18):
chasing fairy tale expectations and instead they seek peace and
financial stability from their relationships. Study shows it says by
the time they reach their their mid thirties, a lot
of women begin to shift their focus away from intense, drama,
fhill passion passionate relationships and instead look for something more grounded, peace, stability,
(13:40):
and real partnership. After years of dating and going through
different phases of life, their outlook naturally matures. Instead of
chasing fleeting excitement, many now seek emotionally healthy connections, absolutely
strong compatibility, and financial dadiness. Okay, that is very important.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It's so funny because I was on the phone with
our producer Taylor yesterday and I was just talking about
this nigga ot and uh gave back to the streets
and she was like, you know, talking to me about
like the fairy don't you want the fairy tale? And
I was like, I don't believe in that no more.
(14:24):
And she was like I was like, girl, yes, I
don't believe in no fairy tale in it no more.
What I want is And it's so funny because the
things that are listening listen here is exactly what I said.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Let me finish up the things like. It says, things
like emotional intelligence, shared values, in common direction, and life
start to matter more than chemistry alone.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, that's why it's so funny you said this, because
I was just having that conversation like I don't need
all of that no more. I don't even want no
fine nigga, no more like fine, ben off the list
of what I want. I mean, don't get me wrong.
I take a but it's not on the top of.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You take a little fine shit.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah I was. I take a little five ship now.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
But it says the change isn't about giving up or settling.
It's an intentional choice. Experts say that this shift is
influenced by everything from social excuse me, from societal pressure
and biological clocks to professional goals. So for many women,
it's about finding lasting happiness in a sense of security.
(15:28):
And I think that because women are, you know, putting
their happiness at the forefront. You don't a set a
lot of things, especially when you're happy with yourself like you,
then you know your self esteem is up. I say
this all the time. People date based on their self esteem. Recently,
Decisions Decisions is on the Breakfast Club, you know, and
(15:49):
we did one of our earlier shows with them, and
we talked about this and maybe on this episode, right,
maybe I don't know. On another episode we talked about
how that hole and don't heal like now older? Right,
we were older than them, obviously we're older than them,
but I was trying to tell them the future. Then
they didn't get it because they were still having fun outside. Right.
(16:10):
But you will come to a point where none of
this shit matters and you're gonna look back at your
old self, like, what the fuck was I doing? And
why the fuck was I fuck with these people? These
niggas can't now see my pussy today? Yeah, A J.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Asked me about this guy she saw at the party
that I used to date. She was like, remember that, God,
I was like who she was like describing him? And
I kept saying, who bitch, And she's like, are you serious?
Or you do you know who I'm talking about? I said, oh, bitch,
cause you.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Did that the last time I asked about that dude
because I saw him another time.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Who knows?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, man, So we started, like you know, you just
start prioritizing different things in life, Like you know, I
still want to find little shit because I don't have
any kids. I want to make sure I got a
super fine kid. You know, I'm not that selfish.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I don't care about fine.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I don't want no ugly ass nigga, but I don't
want I don't care about him.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
You gotta be fine to me. Yeah, to me, that's
all that matters. I don't revamp my whole LOWD list,
right the things I'm trying to manifest in a partner.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I care more about fitness now than the.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Fine exactly exactly. I get on my ass, let's go
to the gym, let's do all the things. And then also,
you know, what's really important to me is like diet,
because I don't feel like having to cook somebody something different,
like I need people to be on my diet. I'm sorry,
and it's people out there on my same diets where
I don't got to touch chicken for them or touch
(17:48):
a piece of steak. They gonna eat. What the fuck
I eat? I need a little baby, ask and listen.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Because I want a piece of steak, give.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Me, Well, you go out and get it. I shouldn't
have to touch it, because it's more real spiritual for me,
like the consumption of meat. I don't want to shit.
I'm leaning towards like I'm trying to really stop eating seafood,
but it's just so hard because I'm a fishead from Charleston,
South Carolina. It's hard for me not to eat seafood,
but I'm do it one day.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
You're a chickenhead. I don't know how this hample to you.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I'm a fish head. You a chicken head. I don't
know what you what y'all got in Columbia? What Columbia got?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Like? What is Columbia like known for aside from being
the capital.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I was just thinking the Confederate flagshit, Like what y'all
got the flag?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
What the fuck else is going on Columbia? Like esthetically
don't even look good? Like I just always was depressed.
The landscape isn't nice.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
There's shining faces and beautiful places.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Like, what the fuck is the trees and the flowers?
And shit? We got palm trees and Charleston.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Okay, where is the Yeah, where is the palmtal tree
that they always talking about on the flag? Y'all?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Damn in the middle of the state. Y'all ain't got nothing.
Y'all ain't by the water.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yeah, speaking a little fine shit, let's get into it.
We'll be right back. I ain't seen aj Sis April
in person, like we get together. We record every week,
but it's been audio. We're back filming. As soon as
she walks in the door, she don't even say hi
(19:26):
to me. Y'all.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
She says, you look like a dyke. I said a
little bit more high pitched though, Like nice though.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Say how you said it?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
You ain't a dyke.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm chilling. It's a big chilling vibes.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
It's hot. We don't never coordinate. That's a problem. See,
i'd be oneing like maybe I should have this on
my wrists, right, So you want to dress alike, not
dress alike, but coordinate, like we really like two different people. Yeah,
I know, but we can still like be cohesive a
little bit. You know, that's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
We are cohesive this I only packed dress one hundred
thousand degrees outside.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You got a sweat past, So what are we talking about?
That's all I got loose. I thought you had just
off the road or something. Let's let's get in a
five shy month. It's pride month.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
It is shout out the prime month. But I'm not gay.
But I love him today because it's Sunday. Other than
that that asked me, I am not those promote that,
all right, I won't.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I'm sorry anyway, y'll you know what I want to
talk about today because I am having a lot of
I feel like we both right, alright, we have a
lot of transitioning going on in life right now. And
y'all know we like real young too. But I don't know,
I feel like at this age, you still end up
(20:49):
in these these situationships with people. I know.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Listen, the last ten years, it's been a see all
of them. I haven't had like a solid that's my man,
my man and my man. No, it's been situationships.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I haven't had a situationship in a long time. I
always end up in relationships. But I'm like, do I
need it a situationship?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
I think yeah, I think you should like calm down
on claiming a nigga so quick.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
At this age, at this young age.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Because you just need to I like, just see what
it is, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I don't thought that type of time but for the
younger folks. But I feel like we at this nice age,
we still end up in situationships. And what qualifies as
a situationship in today's dating whatever we got going.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
On, So chat GPT did not answer the question for us,
So let me tell you what I think.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I think a situationship is a relationship without any real
boundaries or parameters or like title. That's all the situationship is.
Y'all in a relationship, but y'all don't give it a title.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So my definition of situationship because one person is probably
in a relationship. Any other person is in a situationship.
A lot of times when people start labeling things as
a situationship, one person usually doesn't know where they are
and they want to be in a relationship, but the
other person is essentially putting them into a situationship.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
No, they're not committing It depends It depends because it
could be like two single people, or it could be
one single person and want somebody that's in a relationship already,
or it could be somebody in jail, it is somebody
free like, it could be all kinds of things that
make it a situationship. And that's why they don't put
a title on it, because they can't or they don't
(22:56):
want to.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
I think oftentimes one already wants to put a tie
on it, right. I think sometimes people are escaping like
having to be like really like intimate, you know, having
to express real intimacy with somebody, So they put them
in this situation box where they're left in limbo and
don't really know if they're in a relationship with this
person not. But y'all doing all the things. See, I
(23:20):
went from a city, yes bitch, you are, and I
literally went from a situationship straight into an engagement. And
this person really didn't consider us being in a relationship
until he gave me a ring. Does that make sense?
Anybody that's manipulation, right, that's retarded?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Can I say that, Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
You can? Trump is president, you can stay retarded. Okay,
that's just hated. But it left me feeling like, am
I tripping? Like because in his mind, I believe he
thinks because you know, he didn't have to be he
doesn't have to be accountable the things he did prior
to the engagement, right, all the fucked up things. We
(24:02):
really wasn't together when that happened, but we was building
businesses that we were absolutely together. So this is why
I'm saying. Oftentimes one person is in a relationship, they
define the thing that they have going on as a relationship,
but the other person gets to say, well, I just
(24:23):
real murky.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I prefer I have been known to prefer.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
A situationship. No, I don't prefer. I don't like me
is just so boxed.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
It has been so boxed in for me, I start
feeling like claustrophobic and like I can't breathe.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
You know, maybe I'd be like that too, And that's
why it's just it's almost like at two years, I
get kind of antsy mm hmm, I get kind of like.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
So you start feeling like you're ready to leave? Yes,
I start feeling stuff, That's what I'm saying. Like I
started as soon as we start talking about like being exclusive,
That's when I start feeling like and it's just just.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Way before two years at least, I'm in the relationship
and you're feeling stuffy. You like, soon then they can
start talking about a relationship about it, and.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, what do you think that's about?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Though we already talked about this, Timmy, you like the
unavailability of people. I think you know what I'm saying.
So I don't know, and I might also I might
be the same way, right, but I'll stay in a
thing a little bit longer than you do.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
But that's not true. I just don't put a name
on it.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
That's a fact.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I just don't put a title on it. I just
I struggle with that. Once we start putting titles on it,
it just starts getting that's so masculine of me. I
feel like, though, I feel like that's that's something a
man would say and not a woman. Typically a woman
is the one who's like, but this has been my
entire life, every like serious with relationship I've ever had.
(26:01):
I was given an ultimatum commit olie. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Interesting the two times I always tell you you a
boy and here you are Elliott shirts.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
So what sweaty is? And I feel comfortable?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Fuck that.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
All right, So why are they so common now? Because
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I think social media and dating apps, you know what
I'm saying, Like it's just hook up. It's just like
a hook up society essentially now, Like people are so
people think everybody's just so replaceable, Like Instagram is a
whole holo dex So the minute this one act up,
you can just go in there and scroll scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll,
(26:46):
throw the fishing line out there and see who catch.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I enjoyed the variety of new people, but I don't
want to have sex with them. Like if I could
have like multiple boyfriends that I didn't have to sleep with,
that would be ideal for me because I enjoy like
the company. I enjoy the perspective of new people, but
I just don't want everybody did.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yeah, you know, we talk about nominogamy and polygamy and
all those things. I just don't know. How do you
how do you learn? Right if you are restricted to
this same person for the rest of your life, Like,
how do you get new information and new ideas? You
know what I'm saying, Because some things have to come
with a little bit more intimacy, Like some conversations you
(27:32):
might have with people.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
But then there's something beautiful about finding that one person.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
You know nothing about that. I said, it's one of us.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I said, there's something beautiful about I've seen it, you know,
like growing finding that one person and y'all grow old together,
and then that's beautiful. Like I like my ex boyfriends.
Aren't her and her husband they're in the cutest thing.
I haven't seen him in a while, but they're still together.
(28:02):
He still get jealous, like he still love her so
much and she loved him, and they're so cute. You know,
that's so cute. But I just feel like it's hard
to come by that now.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
They know.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Ever since listen, since Remy and past Poos broke up,
I just feel like everybody do.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Man. They definitely I thought that was.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Gonna stay again as that could stay, huh.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
It was definitely never a couple, not a couple of goals,
but like out of prison, that's all he did.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I just thought they were like very like urban and
cute and like locked in with each other no matter what.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I don't know. Mike like Ahs like the Hardships, my
ultimate like ghetto love story love couple. I like Gucci
Maine and Kishi Kor, Like I felt like they established like, oh,
niggas about to start getting married. Gucci don't got married.
May are about this black men are about to start
guessing an example more because Gucci main got married and
to glow up, you know what I'm saying, Like he
(29:01):
came home a whole nother person. Some people think literally.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
He was not himself, but yeah, okay, that's a good example.
But they were similar, maybe not as glamorous as Keisha
Kor and Gucci, but like just a beautiful urban couple.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
That was locked in. No, I don't like that word urban.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I'm just trying to be like carrag so niggas, so
niggas that was locked in with each other, and I
just I enjoyed the seeing that. And it wasn't the
man that went to jail. It was the woman. That's
what made it different. You know, like he held her
down while she was in jail.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And that's why I feel like a lot of men
probably don't have respect for Pappus. You see all the
jokes online. It's like he like he's the woman and
he likes these tough He likes tough women, you know
what I'm saying. So do he like tough women for
a man to be just your woman is in prison
for shooting somebody, like you didn't do that type of time.
Your girl didn't and you waited for her like that
(30:08):
is what.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
You waited for her, Like you said it like very
like that's condescending of him.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Gender roll flop flip flu fuck.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
It is because his new cheek kill whoop ass? When
ain't gonna talk about her too much? She can fight,
I'm not skinned. It also, Remy obviously has guns. She
can fight.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Who's trying to fight? So have you ever been in
a situationship and like couldn't leave it because of emotions?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yes, I just got out of a situationship that I
was in for a long long time. And I still
think about him all the time. But I had to
get up out of her. I broke my foot behind
that ship, y'all. I broke my foot behind that ship.
And that's when I was like, all right, you know what,
girls start, go go and get your life together. So
(31:05):
but it's like, it's a what's the word I'm looking for.
It's a soul tar. Sometimes you have a soul tar
with someone and you just gotta untether and that shit
be hard, and that ain't nothing but the devil, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, I feel like anything confusing is the devil. If
I'm in any any situation and I don't know exactly
what's going on, it got it like only the devil
will be trying to confuse you like that. So why
would anybody want to be engaging with anyone and not
just tell them what's up? Hey, I want to fuck sometimes?
(31:40):
You know, I was dating somebody who was too honest, right,
See that's the problem.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
You wanted to get ass honest. But then you're talking
about he too honest?
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Like I would call him like you want to do
something like I want to come over and he and
he would say shit like I kind of want to,
but then I don't.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
And how would you receive that? Because what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
What the fuck does that mean? You know what I'm saying.
So when he started liking me more, right.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
When the tables turned, I always.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Kind of like at I was at the tail end
of the bullshit at that point. I was tired of
being in a being in a situation with somebody like
that's not even courting at that point, because we like
a year and a half locked in you don't have
been to my mama house. We'd be chilling. You know
what I'm saying. We're doing the nasty.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Oh, I know who you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
I'm taking your places, pulling out with your ass and
Chelsea boots. Oh, Chelsea, don't.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Don't fuck with no niggas who wear Chelsea boots. Okay,
niggas sent me a picture this weekend with Chelsea boots
on the boots on the ground. Because he was.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Get so, I was always feeling confused and I couldn't
really check him on stuff because you left.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
The door open and he was honest and you were
he was honest.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
He's single, and so am I essentially. But when I
started like just hanging out a little bit extra or
not being as available, he actually told me like he
don't like how he feels. Well, I have been feeling
like that for a year and a half and we
could have been together building a whole life. But obviously
I don't know. It's not too late, child, Lease it
(33:30):
is too late. Okay, it is too fucking late. I'll
play around a little bit.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
But I'm just scared I'm gonna choose the wrong person
and end up by like I feel like if I
don't like start going to therapy and like working through.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
I let you go to therapy. I stopped why.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Because my therapist became my homeboy, and it just was
like our relationship changed, our dynamic change, so I can't
can't be my therapist became my homeboy, you know, and
we started talking outside of therapy, and it just no
longer became uh a safe space. And that's why that's
(34:18):
why he was giving me free therapy. No, he was
giving me excellent therapy. But and he still does a
little bit, but it's not like you know, ongoing therapy
and like working through things. And I need that because
I know I'm a commitment fold and I know that
I have like like even I love my hair in locks,
(34:39):
but I will not put my hair in locks because
I can't commit. Yeah, it's just too like start hyperventilating.
I'm stuck into something, you know. And that's just how
my relationships have been my entire life. And I don't
know with men. I will commit to females, not in
a lesbian way, happy prima, not in a lesbian way,
(35:00):
but like in friendships for life, I'll be like we
locked in for life Ashley we aj we locked in
for life. I can say that, I can say that,
you know, in perpetuity, but with these men, I'd be like, shit,
you cool, you know, and I don't know what that
might be, like a daddy issue or I don't know
(35:22):
what that is.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Why is today? I think it's just you know, you
you're in relationships with people and you start learning things
like every relationship. Like the other night, I sat down,
Remember we have our list of the kind of I'm
going through a breakup right now, y'all. Okay, it's been
going on for months, and I revamped my thing based
because I have new data now, new information. I know
(35:47):
more things I don't like now, I know more things
I would like now, you know, out of a partner.
And I don't think these look like y'all can make
a list. I don't think it's outlandish, like to have real,
like specific characteristics of the type of person you want,
even if people may call it shallow, I don't know,
put it down, write the shit down, you know. But
(36:08):
there's like new things now that I've discovered over the
last year and a half that I need out of
a partner. Like it's I got super non negotiable.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Have you discovered things that you need to be as
a partner?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Absolutely, And I also discover things I'm just not as
a partner. You know what I'm saying. I'm not the
most thoughtful person, and I've.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Really that it's so crazy.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
But I definitely show up for people in a million
other ways. So like, I know, I'm not the like
the friend who going to see some shit and be like, oh,
actually might like that, or telling you might like that
and I would buy it. It depends maybe sometimes right
or shut up, I probably watch you some shit. I
not bought a bit some shit before. I've never bought
(36:56):
you nothing. Okay, I'm gonna sene you the Costal Canna
because y'all I would sa Costco like last week and
they do still have them candos I've been see but
my mama took me on the shopping spirit of Costco
for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Although you saw my candle, you just kept on walking.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
You know why, because I couldn't leave that big ass
candle in the car because Melt and I live on
the third floor. So like, I had a bunch of shit,
you know what I'm saying. And now add on this
fucking thirty pound candle. Yeah, but they are in there,
and I'm buy you a candle. Okay, I'm gonna buy it.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
My birthday is in two weeks.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Oh, I'm gonna send that candle. Got it?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
All right?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
We're so yeah, I'm not we cooked back, y'all.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
We're gonna see if I got that fucking candle.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I'm not that thoughtful in a relationship. You know. I
like flowers. I like flesh flowers, like my dude he
would bring me. I would have fresh flower.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Oh, let me interjet. Have you used any other ship
that I haven't bought? You like them books in them
journals and you.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Bought me two journals. You bought me a Gratitude journal,
which I probably have like six entries from that.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Year, and so toy twenty one.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, and it's it right.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
No, I bought you another another journal. It was like
a daily planner.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Yeah, oh yeah you did. It's a little black one.
So it's on the side of my bed next to
all the other ship that I don't be using. Yeah,
but I do have a spell book I write and
that ship all the time. That's it. I know what
to get you mixed and it's leather bound.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Go on contibity bubbity boot bitch. Listen y'all when I
walked in. Also, she gonna say bibbity bobbity pebbage. Take
that shit off.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Because what is happening?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
No, I'm chilling today.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah, so I don't know. I learned, Uh, I do
have Everybody comes with bullshit. I definitely don't want a
situationship for any next anything. And I'm really not even uh.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
It's hot outside.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah, I don't really feel like men right now. I
really don't.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
So you don't want no man for the summer?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
No, I don't no not to need a man for
the summer because I want to be pregnant by the
end of the year. I don't know how that's supposed
to work. So you don't want to go on a vacations, Oh,
I'm going on some type of something.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
So you gotta have you, You gotta have somebody to do.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
It would have to be a situationship. It could be
a friend. I feel like situationships come with a lot
of emotions.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
So hold on, wait, wait when you say a friend,
what's the difference are you gonna if you go on
a vacation.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
Typically vacations clue a male friend that you're having sex with.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
So that's the situationship. No, I don't mean, what's the difference.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
That's why I think that situationships this is a totally
different thing. Situationships come with emotion and it's usually one person.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
You can have a like, it could be a situation.
It depends on what the situation is. So you can
have a guy like I know a girl like one
of my hair clients, she got a guy who she
deal with. She got a man, he got a girlfriend.
They see each other out in the club and they together,
they hook up, and then they go they separate ways,
(40:04):
and they do that all the time.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I don't think that's the situationship. I just think that
they're they're too adults who enjoy having sex with each other,
Like that's the situation. No, I think yeah, and then
and they like link that's they that's their situationship. You
said it's deeper, it gotta be deeper. I think it is.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
No, it don't, it really don't. It just depends on
what the situation is.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
A lot of times people be in situations I.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Feel like you gotta the only the only thing you
gotta be doing to be included in the situationship. It
has to happen frequent, and you gotta be having sex.
And that's the situationship. And it's just different situations. What's
the situation y'all not together, y'all having sex frequently? What's
(40:51):
the situation?
Speaker 1 (40:53):
I don't know. I don't think. I just I think
I have a different idea in my mind about what
that thing is. So you got to be I think
men benefit more from situationships women be wanting. I feel
like it's limbo. You're stuck in a live and and
and uh, you're stuck in like purgatory relationship. Purgatory essentially.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
You know what I'm saying, you want, But not every
woman wants to be with that nigga they're in a
situationship or man that they're in a situationship with.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
You don't really want to have at this big age,
I do not want to have sex with somebody that
I don't like or I don't see the futureship with
you're saying. That's why I said, I like variety, but
I don't want to sleep with all these people. I
don't want to sleep with none of I just want
their energy. Oh, I mean energy suck. Yeah, I want to,
(41:41):
like I want to. I want to be in there,
like I want the vibes.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
I create vibes. Though I create vibes, I bring good energy,
and I be wanting to be around good energy. But
I enjoy variety, you know, in different perspectives.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Mmmm, I don't know what. I guess that that would
be just be dating. I wouldn't I enjoy dating. Yeah,
that's dating, you know, like, and you should date, right,
And I think more women should date and not be
having sex. You don't have to have sex with everybody
you hanging out with.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Listen, I don't have sex with nobody. It was so funny.
I was with my you know, I'm not even gonna
tell that story, no telling, No, I'm not, because that's
what I really enjoy their company. I don'tant to even
share that business on here.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Do you think a situationship could ever become like a
healthy relationship? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Absolutely. Sometimes it's just like two people having fun and
then it turns into something else, it turns into more.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
You don't think it could happen. It does happen.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
One of my friends right now, she's with it, locked
in and they got two kids. It was a situationship.
They would like just be like travel buddies. They meet
different places around the world, you know, vacation they were
like vacation friends. That's what they would do. And then
she got pregnant and then she had a baby, and
(43:04):
they still wasn't like when she got pregnant, I don't
feel like they was like really locked in like that.
You know, they fucked with each other hard, but and
then all of it just turned into something more. And
now they're a family and they have a beautiful family
and they're happy together.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
And that was a situation ship. Was she talking to
other people? Was he talking to other people?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
We don't know, We don't Yeah, she was talking to
other people, Like, yeah, she was dating and I think
he was too, you know, but they were just like
they had enjoyed it. And that thing went on for
like eight years before she got pregnant him, before she
got pregnant by him, I know. And now they got
a beautiful family. So it can happen. It has happened,
(43:48):
It does happen.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I don't know. I don't think I can be in
limbo too long with somebody, Like I've definitely done it.
And when you when you want more, you want stability.
I don't. I'd be wanting to, Like I always say,
I like to feel single in relationships, but I don't
really like to be single.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
So you think it I'm the reader hearing it says
the emotional burnout of being almost loved. So you think,
like situationships is almost low.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Yes, I do, I think, And that's why I said.
I think men and men benefit more from situationships because
they don't have that. They don't have to deal with
the emotions of a woman, right, they can just say, hey,
excuse me, sweetie, we not together like that, Yeah, we
smashing raw.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
But that's you say that, Like the situationships are always
because there's a woman who wants to be with this
man and it's not the case.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
What's the percentage? What is the percentage? It's so many
fucking flute fries fruit flies flying around in the here.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
I know, what is it?
Speaker 1 (44:58):
What is the percentage? Then? Because I think like it's
a high percentage of women who are stuck in relationship
situationship purgatory. Then men, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I don't know. I think especially these young girls, these
young girls is out here not caring. They really don't care.
I care too, That's why I do. That's why, and
that's why I don't. I don't be fucking like that
because I like we fucking I'm in love, like we
(45:31):
go together. I don't want to be I want to
be with you. So that's why I don't do it
no more.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
I stopped.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Like once I turned thirty two years ago. It's shit whatever,
Just stop doing that because it's just something about sleeping
with someone and sharing your body for me. It just
I feel connected.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
No, you don't feel that connectional.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
So we put a little poll. I'm trying to see
if we got any any responses. I wanted to hear
about other people's situationships, y'all, I would love we like
to hear other people's business. Okay, so call us. You
don't like you don't like being nosy. I like it.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I get tired.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
I like it. I get tired, y'all call it, call it,
call us and tell us about your situationships called nine one, nine, four, ten,
seventy seven, thirty five, and tell me all your motherfucking business.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
Listen, you got three minutes before it's gonna hang up
on you, and you got a call back, so put
your timer on or something.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
I think situationships are dangerous. I feel like everybody should
stay the fuck up out of them. Children come through situationships.
We need you don't You need children with both family,
both people in the household. When children are born out
of side situations and situationships, it is a strenuous relationship
at that point between these two adult It's not Nothing
(47:02):
good comes out of situationships.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
I mean, I get what you're saying, but I mean,
in twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Five, get off the damn dating apps. Go out.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
There is a lot of I mean there, let's be honest.
The black family unit has changed. The dynamic is different.
You know, a lot of black families are in different homes,
They're not in the same household.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
And where is that getting us? We are fucked up?
Speaker 2 (47:33):
So yeah, yeah, but that's the reality of things.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Though, you know, it doesn't have to be the reality
of things. I'm for people not being in situationships, like
actually date people you know, and actually get into actual
real relationships. Start your families, do things the right way.
Like you know, I'm not no super religious person, right,
but the Bible basic instructions before leaving earth right. The
(47:56):
Bible does give you a pretty nice instruction guide on
high to live so you don't get fucked up, you
know what I'm saying. Like it's still got some botion,
and they're like, you know, you're not supposed to fortunicate
with your neighbor's wife, but don't say nothing about the
bitch around the corner, so you will still do.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
It says don't fornicate period until you're married. I mean,
we're going if we're going biblical.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
And it says nothing about Mary for love either. It
says if you can't sustain from not having sex anymore thing,
you should find a wife. So I don't know, I
just feel like people are I'm I'm stressed out about
the black community right now. I'm not black, nom more, y'all.
I forgot to tell y'all, I'm gold with a little degreen.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
So listen, how you stressed out about a community you
don't even belong to it anymore?
Speaker 1 (48:42):
The word uh not expatriate. I have uh not excommunicated.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
Your expet from the black community.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Not expat I'm looking for h I have divested. No,
I'm not divested.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
I'm gonna say now you divested from the black community.
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
No, I'm not I divested, but I just it's a
lot of things that we got going on. I just
don't agree with you, know what I'm saying. So listen,
if you.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Are so situationships are one of them. You think that
relationship or the hooked up culture gotta stop. It's so
crazy that you your age now, you know what that
reminds me of, Like my grandma telling me these are
last days. And I'm like, Grandma, You're seventy years old
and now you're talking about it's our last days and
I'm just a young bud.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
You know why is that you feel with me talking
to you right now?
Speaker 2 (49:30):
No, I'm saying you talking to the people, not me
talking to the audience, like saying, you're not being in
hellas situationships in your life, and now you're telling.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Hella, I have been in one. I have been Excuse me,
I've been in two situationships in life. Okay too, Compee girl, Well,
if if it turns into a relationship, wasn't really a situationship.
I mean, like I begetting to the end, it was
(49:59):
never nothing else going on. I'm tired of saying situationship anyway,
don't uh, y'all.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
When y'all watch this, I want you to watch it
with your homegirls and take a sip of your drink.
Every time we say situationship. It shouldn't go out to
the day party or stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Anyway. What's your last last time?
Speaker 2 (50:23):
Listen? Life is short. Do what makes you happy, you know,
do it feels good, but just be prepared for the
consequences of all your choices. That's my last last.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Y'all. I choose clarity over confusion, because that's all my
situationships is offering. If you don't know where you stand
in someone else's life, if you're having a call another
bitch to ask her if she's fucking with him, fucking
with this man, you you gotta check in with somebody
(50:57):
else to see where you stand in this man's life.
You are and that's super duper situation ship. Get out
of there, save your life. But all situation girls, shut
up you a boy anyway, There can be clarity within
your situation.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
This is what it is.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
I guess anyway, y'all. If you enjoy this episode, y'all
tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeart radio app.
Where the fuck you get your podcast at? This your.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Yeah it's Sam Mam. I got on T shirt and sweatpants.
Maybe that's the energy I'm giving today. Maybe I am
a dyke today.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Fuck you bitch.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Remember to speak now and never hold your nuts.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeart Radio.
Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who talks.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
What's up, y'all? It's your girl, AJ Holiday. What's up
Big Tam Bam?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Y'all, it's Tam Bam. I love y'all so so very much.
I love you to AJ. How you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'm fine, y'all.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
We just got finished.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
So that's why, bitch, I'm fine. I don't think we
should all the things bitch. I was outside Saturday.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
It was cute too.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Yeah, I'm posted my dress. Yeah I bought that dress.
Uh So let me back up a little bit. All right,
So y'all, there there are some elite black people in Charleston,
thank god. Okay, No, people be thinking Charleston just is
super ratchet. But this little crowd of people like from
age I don't know, like thirty five to thirty eight,
(01:06):
like they really be having shit going on here. So
don Lucci Prosecco and Rose is your first black owned
uh wine brand in South Carolina. Okay, Yeah, so they
had their Ruby the Ruby event this weekend, and I
(01:27):
did do like a little brief interview sweating late per usual.
I'm never really late. I'm gonna stop saying that. I
think I always be on time because I might have
missed the accident early. No, they got there when they
were supposed to, and.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
I that's full shit, that's what way to look at it.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
Yeah, and I got there when I was supposed to
because I still got things done. But man, the shit
was outside. It was hot as fuck. But it was beautiful. Okay,
it was so beautiful. And these men they pay attention
to the very small, intricate details of everything. The girl
they had caveat. They had pizza with their little brand.
Everything was branded, the candles, the pillows on the on
(02:09):
the sofas.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
They had somebody sitting there paint because it wasn't a museum,
the Gibbs Museum here in Charleston, so they had their
there are different. They got three different wines and champagne.
They had it like you know how you put in
like the glass case like a museum. It was so nice.
You go in the bathroom, they got the bottle with
the little lampshade on it, like like, how y'all know
(02:31):
to do this stuff? Everything smallest details? Yes, I love
that it was so nice, and yes, I had my
little dress on. Chak, I saw you I had it
was a couple of pounds for that dress because I
have bought that dress for in April to wear to
(02:53):
remember that movie premiere. I went to Miami. I bought
it to wear there. But the ship was too fucking
tight because that ship is one hundred percent cotton. It
ain't no stretch. It's either you getting in it and
there you're not. Yes, And I got in there. I
got in there. I don't pull some pictures. And then
we went out Sunday. We went for brunch Sunday.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Sitting up so good. You haven't it didn't.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Look like nothing, girl, girl, I almost put a brawn.
I glad I didn't boy, because that would have been milking.
And I had ship on underneath that dress. Nothing.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I think like since I lost weight, I lost titties too,
Like I just think I need a boy.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
So at this point, leave them titties alone, because I know,
you know people who have since gotten them titties removed.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
I just up at the top, like it's all sitting up.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
We'll get the fat transferred to the titty down't see
how long that last? Instead, I wonder if I get
my back exactly. My homegirl had got her body done
in Saint Louis a long time ago, very like whoever
she wants to. If I get some shit done, I'm
flying to Saint Louis because it was like very very natural.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Because I want something. I put my fat in my
titty because.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I didn't get titties though. So what her doctor told
her is that all of all the women, the white women,
all want the fat put into their titties, and all
the all the black women want the fat put in
their ass. So she got the fat to the ass. Okay,
so she ain't get no titties.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
Take my back, put it in my boots.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
And if you need some extra fat, I'll don't how
big you want them.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I just want I don't even want bigger titties because
I don't want big titties. I just don't want like
they just all my girth is at the bottom. It's
just like a slope, like a beginner's ice skin slope.
You go flat across the top and then like a
little cuppage at the bottom. I hate that. So I
(04:48):
can't fill out of dress. I can't like it's so
weird because dresses, like, because I'm so bottom heavy like
the top, they'll assume that you got something up top,
so it just be like empty in the top and
like real full at the bottom.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
That little stuff it.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Don't it's too tight at the bottom. We'll struggle with that.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Mm hmm. But that was my outside. I was outside
all weekend, y'all. We did a Sunday fun Day brunch
from I was outside from one to eight on a Sunday.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Oh you was outside this week? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Now I'm recuperating, bitch, I've been fasten. I'm not eating
until Thursday. This watering the water fast. So yeah, don't
be getting my nerves. That was the first thing I said.
It's like, girl, I'm like really like texting you back,
like I haven't ate. I'm gonna need you to get
off my nuts because don't y'all sucking hung Im about
(05:45):
to take a bite out of crime.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
If someone saying can you send that a SAP, does
that mean right then or does that mean as soon
as possible? I thought, as yeah, let us know what
y'all think. Somebody say I need this a SAP versus
can you send that as soon as possible? Afterny for
as soon as possible.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Which one y'all prefer. Don't tell me to do shiit
asap because I can't.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I can't do nothing A sap sandwich, that's a problem.
You had to say what She would have just read
that and be like cool. But because she was hungry,
it was all like crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Or because I had a lot of shit to do.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
So listen, my weekend. It was my besties dad's seventy
seventy seventy. I can't seventieth birthday say that shit to
save my life just now. And they were supposed to
go to New Orleans and all the flights out of
Charlotte got canceled from for a storm. It was like bad,
Like the airport was just crazy.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
It was raining.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
No, it was just lightning storm.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
That's crazy. It's been happening over the whole country. One
of my people in Texas was saying they had an
electrical storm, Like so shit was going out because of
the thunder and the lightning.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't raining, It wasn't. It was
just like the real sharp So they just couldn't fly
and like a couple of my clients got grounded. They
were going to New Orleans, my friend her and her bad.
So we was like, we want to still make his
birthday a good one. So we took him to this
restaurant in Charlick called Deluxe Fun Dining where the food
comes out on like all these crazy trays and smoke
(07:19):
and like different stuff. And we started we were drinking,
taking shots, and this man could drink. I like, I
haven't been drinking in a long time. And last week
when I could drink, I just had me like an
espresso martini. You know, I didn't really like go crazy,
but Saturday I had four shots of tequila. When I
(07:40):
tell you, I was down bad Sunday and Monday, like
so bad yesterday that my blood pressure was one one
ten over fifty eight.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Oh hell no, bitch, I was so dehydrated. That was
so dehydrated and need to go get some PDA.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Yeah I did, I did. I got me. I got
a watermelon and I ate a whole watermelon and I
drank four bottles of water in Apedia, like just to
get myself back together. But yeah, that was my weekend.
We turned up for his seventy years.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah, it was a good time. But I don't think
I like liquor no more. I think I'm done with liquor.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
That's not my homegirl. She just had a baby, and
she was like, I don't think I'm a drink no more.
Like I don't even miss it, Like why I'm drinking.
I'm like, yeah, it is poison, you know. I'm always
consciously aware of what it is that I'm partaking in,
and every time I drink, I'd be like, man, I'm
just poisoning my body. And that's why I don't drink often.
I might go outside five times a year for real,
five six times a year, So I'm drinking five or
(08:36):
six times for real, like aside from like a vaca.
If I go on vacation, I'm drinking. If I go
like outside a Saturday, I might have one or two drinks.
I don't indulge that often, and when I do, I
be fucked up the next day. Luckily, I ain't drink
nothing on Sunday, but I did drink a little bit
on Saturday, and luckily I was all right.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Luckily, me, me and my best friend get together. We
just be fu like.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It's just fun. I want to be loud and cussing
and talking loud like I don't want to be sober.
Everybody else drunk because nah, I'm like.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
Mad, irritated. Yeah, y'all are ignorant, you know, but that
was my weekend and now I'm finally getting back. I
couldn't even go to the gym yesterday, y'all. It was
so bad, Like my doctor was like, if you try
to go to the gym with this blood person right now,
you might faint. Just stay home, drink water and put
your feet up. So yeah, that's what I did. But
I'm going today to this evening.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Let's getting the sins they doe. So apparently female frogs
take their death to avoid meeting with males they don't
find attractive.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
It's not just us, it's not us.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
The only difference is if we fake our fucking death,
the nigga stole might come and try to hump on
your ass, right.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
They like they're talking, full body limp, floating upside down,
even holding their breath. It's the ultimate ghost move for
a frog, like I'm dead. I'm dead.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Now, I did that in a relationship now, pretending like
I'm sleep like we get in might that I'm planning
to have sex and all that shit I done changed
my my mind by the time we get home, Like
I'm I'm pretend sleeping hard as hell.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
I definitely pretended to be sick to not have to
do it. I ain't think i'mna rock bucket.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there.
When it becomes a job, I gotta get out of there.
Like we gotta do this.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
Sometimes it just don't feel like it, you know.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
Yeah, and then you can't deprive your partner of sex.
But god, damn, I'm gonna just be acting like a frog.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Be dead.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
I'm dead. That's our little kids be. I've then one
eye open. I'm dead now. They't gonna be like, OPI
your mouth.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
They do not care.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
We're dad man. They're still trying to hump on you.
So I'm frogs.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Statistically, if you live in Utah, you're more likely to
get married than if you live anywhere else in the
United States. According to the CDC and Sisters dadd and
you Tak consistently ranks among the top states for marriage rates,
with over twenty one point nine marriages per one thousand women. Damn,
(11:39):
that's it, well above the national average. With culture, community values,
or early commitment norms. Utah makes marriage more common than
anywhere else. You know.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
You sent this post to me and when I saw it,
I went to go google. Are people in Utah generally pretty?
And they actually? You know, because I was thinking, like,
you know, I started his post on Instagram one day
and I don't know what I can't remember what city
it was, but he was like, man, everybody in the
city ugly.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
How about Columbia? So I'm Carolina.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
No, Colombia is not ugly. People in Columbia are not ugly.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
So but remember that man was like, yo, I'm in
Colombia and all these bitches is ugly and they ate
him up.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Oh we had him on the show, I remember. But meanwhile,
you're looking like, I don't know, doctor Umar reject, Like
you look like a doctor Umar reject, right, Like.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
How do you do that? And they call it somebody ugly?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah, Columbia has very beautiful people. But I can't remember
what city this person was in, but he was just like,
I see why everybody coupled up here. Everybody ugly. So
that's what I was thinking about Utah. But apparently Utah
is like number twelve on the list for most beautiful people.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
So maybe that's where I need to go. Looking from
our partner.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You gonna get your partner for sure, a partner in Utah.
I don't know who the fuck is living in Utah.
Maybe they got a good military base with some niggas
hidden over there. See about it, Yeah, Utah. So another
study shows by age thirty five, many women have stopped
(13:18):
chasing fairy tale expectations and instead they seek peace and
financial stability from their relationships. Study shows it says by
the time they reach their their mid thirties, a lot
of women begin to shift their focus away from intense, drama,
fhill passion passionate relationships and instead look for something more grounded, peace, stability,
(13:40):
and real partnership. After years of dating and going through
different phases of life, their outlook naturally matures. Instead of
chasing fleeting excitement, many now seek emotionally healthy connections, absolutely
strong compatibility, and financial dadiness. Okay, that is very important.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
It's so funny because I was on the phone with
our producer Taylor yesterday and I was just talking about
this nigga ot and uh gave back to the streets
and she was like, you know, talking to me about
like the fairy don't you want the fairy tale? And
I was like, I don't believe in that no more.
(14:24):
And she was like I was like, girl, yes, I
don't believe in no fairy tale in it no more.
What I want is And it's so funny because the
things that are listening listen here is exactly what I said.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Let me finish up the things like. It says, things
like emotional intelligence, shared values, in common direction, and life
start to matter more than chemistry alone.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, that's why it's so funny you said this, because
I was just having that conversation like I don't need
all of that no more. I don't even want no
fine nigga, no more like fine, ben off the list
of what I want. I mean, don't get me wrong.
I take a but it's not on the top of.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
You take a little fine shit.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah I was. I take a little five ship now.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
But it says the change isn't about giving up or settling.
It's an intentional choice. Experts say that this shift is
influenced by everything from social excuse me, from societal pressure
and biological clocks to professional goals. So for many women,
it's about finding lasting happiness in a sense of security.
(15:28):
And I think that because women are, you know, putting
their happiness at the forefront. You don't a set a
lot of things, especially when you're happy with yourself like you,
then you know your self esteem is up. I say
this all the time. People date based on their self esteem. Recently,
Decisions Decisions is on the Breakfast Club, you know, and
(15:49):
we did one of our earlier shows with them, and
we talked about this and maybe on this episode, right,
maybe I don't know. On another episode we talked about
how that hole and don't heal like now older? Right,
we were older than them, obviously we're older than them,
but I was trying to tell them the future. Then
they didn't get it because they were still having fun outside. Right.
(16:10):
But you will come to a point where none of
this shit matters and you're gonna look back at your
old self, like, what the fuck was I doing? And
why the fuck was I fuck with these people? These
niggas can't now see my pussy today? Yeah, A J.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Asked me about this guy she saw at the party
that I used to date. She was like, remember that, God,
I was like who she was like describing him? And
I kept saying, who bitch, And she's like, are you serious?
Or you do you know who I'm talking about? I said, oh, bitch,
cause you.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Did that the last time I asked about that dude
because I saw him another time.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Who knows?
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, man, So we started, like you know, you just
start prioritizing different things in life, Like you know, I
still want to find little shit because I don't have
any kids. I want to make sure I got a
super fine kid. You know, I'm not that selfish.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
I don't care about fine.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
I don't want no ugly ass nigga, but I don't
want I don't care about him.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
You gotta be fine to me. Yeah, to me, that's
all that matters. I don't revamp my whole LOWD list,
right the things I'm trying to manifest in a partner.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I care more about fitness now than the.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Fine exactly exactly. I get on my ass, let's go
to the gym, let's do all the things. And then also,
you know, what's really important to me is like diet,
because I don't feel like having to cook somebody something different,
like I need people to be on my diet. I'm sorry,
and it's people out there on my same diets where
I don't got to touch chicken for them or touch
(17:48):
a piece of steak. They gonna eat. What the fuck
I eat? I need a little baby, ask and listen.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Because I want a piece of steak, give.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Me, Well, you go out and get it. I shouldn't
have to touch it, because it's more real spiritual for me,
like the consumption of meat. I don't want to shit.
I'm leaning towards like I'm trying to really stop eating seafood,
but it's just so hard because I'm a fishead from Charleston,
South Carolina. It's hard for me not to eat seafood,
but I'm do it one day.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
You're a chickenhead. I don't know how this hample to you.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I'm a fish head. You a chicken head. I don't
know what you what y'all got in Columbia? What Columbia got?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
What do you mean?
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Like? What is Columbia like known for aside from being
the capital.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I was just thinking the Confederate flagshit, Like what y'all
got the flag?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
What the fuck else is going on Columbia? Like esthetically
don't even look good? Like I just always was depressed.
The landscape isn't nice.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
There's shining faces and beautiful places.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Like, what the fuck is the trees and the flowers?
And shit? We got palm trees and Charleston.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Okay, where is the Yeah, where is the palmtal tree
that they always talking about on the flag? Y'all?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Damn in the middle of the state. Y'all ain't got nothing.
Y'all ain't by the water.
Speaker 2 (19:06):
Yeah, speaking a little fine shit, let's get into it.
We'll be right back. I ain't seen aj Sis April
in person, like we get together. We record every week,
but it's been audio. We're back filming. As soon as
she walks in the door, she don't even say hi
(19:26):
to me. Y'all.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
She says, you look like a dyke. I said a
little bit more high pitched though, Like nice though.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Say how you said it?
Speaker 1 (19:35):
You ain't a dyke.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm chilling. It's a big chilling vibes.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
It's hot. We don't never coordinate. That's a problem. See,
i'd be oneing like maybe I should have this on
my wrists, right, So you want to dress alike, not
dress alike, but coordinate, like we really like two different people. Yeah,
I know, but we can still like be cohesive a
little bit. You know, that's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
We are cohesive this I only packed dress one hundred
thousand degrees outside.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
You got a sweat past, So what are we talking about?
That's all I got loose. I thought you had just
off the road or something. Let's let's get in a
five shy month. It's pride month.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
It is shout out the prime month. But I'm not gay.
But I love him today because it's Sunday. Other than
that that asked me, I am not those promote that,
all right, I won't.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I'm sorry anyway, y'll you know what I want to
talk about today because I am having a lot of
I feel like we both right, alright, we have a
lot of transitioning going on in life right now. And
y'all know we like real young too. But I don't know,
I feel like at this age, you still end up
(20:49):
in these these situationships with people. I know.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Listen, the last ten years, it's been a see all
of them. I haven't had like a solid that's my man,
my man and my man. No, it's been situationships.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
I haven't had a situationship in a long time. I
always end up in relationships. But I'm like, do I
need it a situationship?
Speaker 2 (21:19):
I think yeah, I think you should like calm down
on claiming a nigga so quick.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
At this age, at this young age.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Because you just need to I like, just see what
it is, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I don't thought that type of time but for the
younger folks. But I feel like we at this nice age,
we still end up in situationships. And what qualifies as
a situationship in today's dating whatever we got going.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
On, So chat GPT did not answer the question for us,
So let me tell you what I think.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
I think a situationship is a relationship without any real
boundaries or parameters or like title. That's all the situationship is.
Y'all in a relationship, but y'all don't give it a title.
Speaker 1 (22:11):
So my definition of situationship because one person is probably
in a relationship. Any other person is in a situationship.
A lot of times when people start labeling things as
a situationship, one person usually doesn't know where they are
and they want to be in a relationship, but the
other person is essentially putting them into a situationship.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
No, they're not committing It depends It depends because it
could be like two single people, or it could be
one single person and want somebody that's in a relationship already,
or it could be somebody in jail, it is somebody
free like, it could be all kinds of things that
make it a situationship. And that's why they don't put
a title on it, because they can't or they don't
(22:56):
want to.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
I think oftentimes one already wants to put a tie
on it, right. I think sometimes people are escaping like
having to be like really like intimate, you know, having
to express real intimacy with somebody, So they put them
in this situation box where they're left in limbo and
don't really know if they're in a relationship with this
person not. But y'all doing all the things. See, I
(23:20):
went from a city, yes bitch, you are, and I
literally went from a situationship straight into an engagement. And
this person really didn't consider us being in a relationship
until he gave me a ring. Does that make sense?
Anybody that's manipulation, right, that's retarded?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
Can I say that, Yes?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
You can? Trump is president, you can stay retarded. Okay,
that's just hated. But it left me feeling like, am
I tripping? Like because in his mind, I believe he
thinks because you know, he didn't have to be he
doesn't have to be accountable the things he did prior
to the engagement, right, all the fucked up things. We
(24:02):
really wasn't together when that happened, but we was building
businesses that we were absolutely together. So this is why
I'm saying. Oftentimes one person is in a relationship, they
define the thing that they have going on as a relationship,
but the other person gets to say, well, I just
(24:23):
real murky.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I prefer I have been known to prefer.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
A situationship. No, I don't prefer. I don't like me
is just so boxed.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
It has been so boxed in for me, I start
feeling like claustrophobic and like I can't breathe.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
You know, maybe I'd be like that too, And that's
why it's just it's almost like at two years, I
get kind of antsy mm hmm, I get kind of like.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
So you start feeling like you're ready to leave? Yes,
I start feeling stuff, That's what I'm saying. Like I
started as soon as we start talking about like being exclusive,
That's when I start feeling like and it's just just.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Way before two years at least, I'm in the relationship
and you're feeling stuffy. You like, soon then they can
start talking about a relationship about it, and.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, what do you think that's about?
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Though we already talked about this, Timmy, you like the
unavailability of people. I think you know what I'm saying.
So I don't know, and I might also I might
be the same way, right, but I'll stay in a
thing a little bit longer than you do.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
But that's not true. I just don't put a name
on it.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
That's a fact.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I just don't put a title on it. I just
I struggle with that. Once we start putting titles on it,
it just starts getting that's so masculine of me. I
feel like, though, I feel like that's that's something a
man would say and not a woman. Typically a woman
is the one who's like, but this has been my
entire life, every like serious with relationship I've ever had.
(26:01):
I was given an ultimatum commit olie. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Interesting the two times I always tell you you a
boy and here you are Elliott shirts.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
So what sweaty is? And I feel comfortable?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Fuck that.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
All right, So why are they so common now? Because
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I think social media and dating apps, you know what
I'm saying, Like it's just hook up. It's just like
a hook up society essentially now, Like people are so
people think everybody's just so replaceable, Like Instagram is a
whole holo dex So the minute this one act up,
you can just go in there and scroll scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll,
(26:46):
throw the fishing line out there and see who catch.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I enjoyed the variety of new people, but I don't
want to have sex with them. Like if I could
have like multiple boyfriends that I didn't have to sleep with,
that would be ideal for me because I enjoy like
the company. I enjoy the perspective of new people, but
I just don't want everybody did.
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Yeah, you know, we talk about nominogamy and polygamy and
all those things. I just don't know. How do you
how do you learn? Right if you are restricted to
this same person for the rest of your life, Like,
how do you get new information and new ideas? You
know what I'm saying, Because some things have to come
with a little bit more intimacy, Like some conversations you
(27:32):
might have with people.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
But then there's something beautiful about finding that one person.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
You know nothing about that. I said, it's one of us.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
I said, there's something beautiful about I've seen it, you know,
like growing finding that one person and y'all grow old together,
and then that's beautiful. Like I like my ex boyfriends.
Aren't her and her husband they're in the cutest thing.
I haven't seen him in a while, but they're still together.
(28:02):
He still get jealous, like he still love her so
much and she loved him, and they're so cute. You know,
that's so cute. But I just feel like it's hard
to come by that now.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
They know.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Ever since listen, since Remy and past Poos broke up,
I just feel like everybody do.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Man. They definitely I thought that was.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Gonna stay again as that could stay, huh.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
It was definitely never a couple, not a couple of goals,
but like out of prison, that's all he did.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I just thought they were like very like urban and
cute and like locked in with each other no matter what.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
I don't know. Mike like Ahs like the Hardships, my
ultimate like ghetto love story love couple. I like Gucci
Maine and Kishi Kor, Like I felt like they established like, oh,
niggas about to start getting married. Gucci don't got married.
May are about this black men are about to start
guessing an example more because Gucci main got married and
to glow up, you know what I'm saying, Like he
(29:01):
came home a whole nother person. Some people think literally.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
He was not himself, but yeah, okay, that's a good example.
But they were similar, maybe not as glamorous as Keisha
Kor and Gucci, but like just a beautiful urban couple.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
That was locked in. No, I don't like that word urban.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I'm just trying to be like carrag so niggas, so
niggas that was locked in with each other, and I
just I enjoyed the seeing that. And it wasn't the
man that went to jail. It was the woman. That's
what made it different. You know, like he held her
down while she was in jail.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
And that's why I feel like a lot of men
probably don't have respect for Pappus. You see all the
jokes online. It's like he like he's the woman and
he likes these tough He likes tough women, you know
what I'm saying. So do he like tough women for
a man to be just your woman is in prison
for shooting somebody, like you didn't do that type of time.
Your girl didn't and you waited for her like that
(30:08):
is what.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
You waited for her, Like you said it like very
like that's condescending of him.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Gender roll flop flip flu fuck.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
It is because his new cheek kill whoop ass? When
ain't gonna talk about her too much? She can fight,
I'm not skinned. It also, Remy obviously has guns. She
can fight.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Who's trying to fight? So have you ever been in
a situationship and like couldn't leave it because of emotions?
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yes, I just got out of a situationship that I
was in for a long long time. And I still
think about him all the time. But I had to
get up out of her. I broke my foot behind
that ship, y'all. I broke my foot behind that ship.
And that's when I was like, all right, you know what,
girls start, go go and get your life together. So
(31:05):
but it's like, it's a what's the word I'm looking for.
It's a soul tar. Sometimes you have a soul tar
with someone and you just gotta untether and that shit
be hard, and that ain't nothing but the devil, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:18):
Yeah, I feel like anything confusing is the devil. If
I'm in any any situation and I don't know exactly
what's going on, it got it like only the devil
will be trying to confuse you like that. So why
would anybody want to be engaging with anyone and not
just tell them what's up? Hey, I want to fuck sometimes?
(31:40):
You know, I was dating somebody who was too honest, right,
See that's the problem.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
You wanted to get ass honest. But then you're talking
about he too honest?
Speaker 1 (31:51):
Like I would call him like you want to do
something like I want to come over and he and
he would say shit like I kind of want to,
but then I don't.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
And how would you receive that? Because what does that mean?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
What the fuck does that mean? You know what I'm saying.
So when he started liking me more, right.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
When the tables turned, I always.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Kind of like at I was at the tail end
of the bullshit at that point. I was tired of
being in a being in a situation with somebody like
that's not even courting at that point, because we like
a year and a half locked in you don't have
been to my mama house. We'd be chilling. You know
what I'm saying. We're doing the nasty.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Oh, I know who you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
I'm taking your places, pulling out with your ass and
Chelsea boots. Oh, Chelsea, don't.
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Don't fuck with no niggas who wear Chelsea boots. Okay,
niggas sent me a picture this weekend with Chelsea boots
on the boots on the ground. Because he was.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Get so, I was always feeling confused and I couldn't
really check him on stuff because you left.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
The door open and he was honest and you were
he was honest.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
He's single, and so am I essentially. But when I
started like just hanging out a little bit extra or
not being as available, he actually told me like he
don't like how he feels. Well, I have been feeling
like that for a year and a half and we
could have been together building a whole life. But obviously
I don't know. It's not too late, child, Lease it
(33:30):
is too late. Okay, it is too fucking late. I'll
play around a little bit.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
But I'm just scared I'm gonna choose the wrong person
and end up by like I feel like if I
don't like start going to therapy and like working through.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
I let you go to therapy. I stopped why.
Speaker 2 (33:50):
Because my therapist became my homeboy, and it just was
like our relationship changed, our dynamic change, so I can't
can't be my therapist became my homeboy, you know, and
we started talking outside of therapy, and it just no
longer became uh a safe space. And that's why that's
(34:18):
why he was giving me free therapy. No, he was
giving me excellent therapy. But and he still does a
little bit, but it's not like you know, ongoing therapy
and like working through things. And I need that because
I know I'm a commitment fold and I know that
I have like like even I love my hair in locks,
(34:39):
but I will not put my hair in locks because
I can't commit. Yeah, it's just too like start hyperventilating.
I'm stuck into something, you know. And that's just how
my relationships have been my entire life. And I don't
know with men. I will commit to females, not in
a lesbian way, happy prima, not in a lesbian way,
(35:00):
but like in friendships for life, I'll be like we
locked in for life Ashley we aj we locked in
for life. I can say that, I can say that,
you know, in perpetuity, but with these men, I'd be like, shit,
you cool, you know, and I don't know what that
might be, like a daddy issue or I don't know
(35:22):
what that is.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Why is today? I think it's just you know, you
you're in relationships with people and you start learning things
like every relationship. Like the other night, I sat down,
Remember we have our list of the kind of I'm
going through a breakup right now, y'all. Okay, it's been
going on for months, and I revamped my thing based
because I have new data now, new information. I know
(35:47):
more things I don't like now, I know more things
I would like now, you know, out of a partner.
And I don't think these look like y'all can make
a list. I don't think it's outlandish, like to have real,
like specific characteristics of the type of person you want,
even if people may call it shallow, I don't know,
put it down, write the shit down, you know. But
(36:08):
there's like new things now that I've discovered over the
last year and a half that I need out of
a partner. Like it's I got super non negotiable.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Have you discovered things that you need to be as
a partner?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
Absolutely, And I also discover things I'm just not as
a partner. You know what I'm saying. I'm not the
most thoughtful person, and I've.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Really that it's so crazy.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
But I definitely show up for people in a million
other ways. So like, I know, I'm not the like
the friend who going to see some shit and be like, oh,
actually might like that, or telling you might like that
and I would buy it. It depends maybe sometimes right
or shut up, I probably watch you some shit. I
not bought a bit some shit before. I've never bought
(36:56):
you nothing. Okay, I'm gonna sene you the Costal Canna
because y'all I would sa Costco like last week and
they do still have them candos I've been see but
my mama took me on the shopping spirit of Costco
for my birthday.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
Although you saw my candle, you just kept on walking.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
You know why, because I couldn't leave that big ass
candle in the car because Melt and I live on
the third floor. So like, I had a bunch of shit,
you know what I'm saying. And now add on this
fucking thirty pound candle. Yeah, but they are in there,
and I'm buy you a candle. Okay, I'm gonna buy it.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
My birthday is in two weeks.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
Oh, I'm gonna send that candle. Got it?
Speaker 2 (37:31):
All right?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
We're so yeah, I'm not we cooked back, y'all.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
We're gonna see if I got that fucking candle.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I'm not that thoughtful in a relationship. You know. I
like flowers. I like flesh flowers, like my dude he
would bring me. I would have fresh flower.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
Oh, let me interjet. Have you used any other ship
that I haven't bought? You like them books in them
journals and you.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Bought me two journals. You bought me a Gratitude journal,
which I probably have like six entries from that.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
Year, and so toy twenty one.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
Yeah, and it's it right.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
No, I bought you another another journal. It was like
a daily planner.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Yeah, oh yeah you did. It's a little black one.
So it's on the side of my bed next to
all the other ship that I don't be using. Yeah,
but I do have a spell book I write and
that ship all the time. That's it. I know what
to get you mixed and it's leather bound.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Go on contibity bubbity boot bitch. Listen y'all when I
walked in. Also, she gonna say bibbity bobbity pebbage. Take
that shit off.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
Because what is happening?
Speaker 2 (38:40):
No, I'm chilling today.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Yeah, so I don't know. I learned, Uh, I do
have Everybody comes with bullshit. I definitely don't want a
situationship for any next anything. And I'm really not even uh.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
It's hot outside.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah, I don't really feel like men right now. I
really don't.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
So you don't want no man for the summer?
Speaker 1 (39:00):
No, I don't no not to need a man for
the summer because I want to be pregnant by the
end of the year. I don't know how that's supposed
to work. So you don't want to go on a vacations, Oh,
I'm going on some type of something.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
So you gotta have you, You gotta have somebody to do.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
It would have to be a situationship. It could be
a friend. I feel like situationships come with a lot
of emotions.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
So hold on, wait, wait when you say a friend,
what's the difference are you gonna if you go on
a vacation.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
Typically vacations clue a male friend that you're having sex with.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
So that's the situationship. No, I don't mean, what's the difference.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
That's why I think that situationships this is a totally
different thing. Situationships come with emotion and it's usually one person.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
You can have a like, it could be a situation.
It depends on what the situation is. So you can
have a guy like I know a girl like one
of my hair clients, she got a guy who she
deal with. She got a man, he got a girlfriend.
They see each other out in the club and they together,
they hook up, and then they go they separate ways,
(40:04):
and they do that all the time.
Speaker 1 (40:06):
I don't think that's the situationship. I just think that
they're they're too adults who enjoy having sex with each other,
Like that's the situation. No, I think yeah, and then
and they like link that's they that's their situationship. You
said it's deeper, it gotta be deeper. I think it is.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
No, it don't, it really don't. It just depends on
what the situation is.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
A lot of times people be in situations I.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Feel like you gotta the only the only thing you
gotta be doing to be included in the situationship. It
has to happen frequent, and you gotta be having sex.
And that's the situationship. And it's just different situations. What's
the situation y'all not together, y'all having sex frequently? What's
(40:51):
the situation?
Speaker 1 (40:53):
I don't know. I don't think. I just I think
I have a different idea in my mind about what
that thing is. So you got to be I think
men benefit more from situationships women be wanting. I feel
like it's limbo. You're stuck in a live and and
and uh, you're stuck in like purgatory relationship. Purgatory essentially.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
You know what I'm saying, you want, But not every
woman wants to be with that nigga they're in a
situationship or man that they're in a situationship with.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
You don't really want to have at this big age,
I do not want to have sex with somebody that
I don't like or I don't see the futureship with
you're saying. That's why I said, I like variety, but
I don't want to sleep with all these people. I
don't want to sleep with none of I just want
their energy. Oh, I mean energy suck. Yeah, I want to,
(41:41):
like I want to. I want to be in there,
like I want the vibes.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
I create vibes. Though I create vibes, I bring good energy,
and I be wanting to be around good energy. But
I enjoy variety, you know, in different perspectives.
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Mmmm, I don't know what. I guess that that would
be just be dating. I wouldn't I enjoy dating. Yeah,
that's dating, you know, like, and you should date, right,
And I think more women should date and not be
having sex. You don't have to have sex with everybody
you hanging out with.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Listen, I don't have sex with nobody. It was so funny.
I was with my you know, I'm not even gonna
tell that story, no telling, No, I'm not, because that's
what I really enjoy their company. I don'tant to even
share that business on here.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Do you think a situationship could ever become like a
healthy relationship? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (42:31):
Absolutely. Sometimes it's just like two people having fun and
then it turns into something else, it turns into more.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
You don't think it could happen. It does happen.
Speaker 2 (42:42):
One of my friends right now, she's with it, locked
in and they got two kids. It was a situationship.
They would like just be like travel buddies. They meet
different places around the world, you know, vacation they were
like vacation friends. That's what they would do. And then
she got pregnant and then she had a baby, and
(43:04):
they still wasn't like when she got pregnant, I don't
feel like they was like really locked in like that.
You know, they fucked with each other hard, but and
then all of it just turned into something more. And
now they're a family and they have a beautiful family
and they're happy together.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
And that was a situation ship. Was she talking to
other people? Was he talking to other people?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
We don't know, We don't Yeah, she was talking to
other people, Like, yeah, she was dating and I think
he was too, you know, but they were just like
they had enjoyed it. And that thing went on for
like eight years before she got pregnant him, before she
got pregnant by him, I know. And now they got
a beautiful family. So it can happen. It has happened,
(43:48):
It does happen.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
I don't know. I don't think I can be in
limbo too long with somebody, Like I've definitely done it.
And when you when you want more, you want stability.
I don't. I'd be wanting to, Like I always say,
I like to feel single in relationships, but I don't
really like to be single.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
So you think it I'm the reader hearing it says
the emotional burnout of being almost loved. So you think,
like situationships is almost low.
Speaker 1 (44:21):
Yes, I do, I think, And that's why I said.
I think men and men benefit more from situationships because
they don't have that. They don't have to deal with
the emotions of a woman, right, they can just say, hey,
excuse me, sweetie, we not together like that, Yeah, we
smashing raw.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
But that's you say that, Like the situationships are always
because there's a woman who wants to be with this
man and it's not the case.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
What's the percentage? What is the percentage? It's so many
fucking flute fries fruit flies flying around in the here.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
I know, what is it?
Speaker 1 (44:58):
What is the percentage? Then? Because I think like it's
a high percentage of women who are stuck in relationship
situationship purgatory. Then men, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
I don't know. I think especially these young girls, these
young girls is out here not caring. They really don't care.
I care too, That's why I do. That's why, and
that's why I don't. I don't be fucking like that
because I like we fucking I'm in love, like we
(45:31):
go together. I don't want to be I want to
be with you. So that's why I don't do it
no more.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
I stopped.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Like once I turned thirty two years ago. It's shit whatever,
Just stop doing that because it's just something about sleeping
with someone and sharing your body for me. It just
I feel connected.
Speaker 1 (45:59):
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
No, you don't feel that connectional.
Speaker 1 (46:03):
So we put a little poll. I'm trying to see
if we got any any responses. I wanted to hear
about other people's situationships, y'all, I would love we like
to hear other people's business. Okay, so call us. You
don't like you don't like being nosy. I like it.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I get tired.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
I like it. I get tired, y'all call it, call it,
call us and tell us about your situationships called nine one, nine, four, ten,
seventy seven, thirty five, and tell me all your motherfucking business.
Speaker 2 (46:32):
Listen, you got three minutes before it's gonna hang up
on you, and you got a call back, so put
your timer on or something.
Speaker 1 (46:38):
I think situationships are dangerous. I feel like everybody should
stay the fuck up out of them. Children come through situationships.
We need you don't You need children with both family,
both people in the household. When children are born out
of side situations and situationships, it is a strenuous relationship
at that point between these two adult It's not Nothing
(47:02):
good comes out of situationships.
Speaker 2 (47:04):
I mean, I get what you're saying, but I mean,
in twenty twenty.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
Five, get off the damn dating apps. Go out.
Speaker 2 (47:11):
There is a lot of I mean there, let's be honest.
The black family unit has changed. The dynamic is different.
You know, a lot of black families are in different homes,
They're not in the same household.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
And where is that getting us? We are fucked up?
Speaker 2 (47:33):
So yeah, yeah, but that's the reality of things.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
Though, you know, it doesn't have to be the reality
of things. I'm for people not being in situationships, like
actually date people you know, and actually get into actual
real relationships. Start your families, do things the right way.
Like you know, I'm not no super religious person, right,
but the Bible basic instructions before leaving earth right. The
(47:56):
Bible does give you a pretty nice instruction guide on
high to live so you don't get fucked up, you
know what I'm saying. Like it's still got some botion,
and they're like, you know, you're not supposed to fortunicate
with your neighbor's wife, but don't say nothing about the
bitch around the corner, so you will still do.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
It says don't fornicate period until you're married. I mean,
we're going if we're going biblical.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
And it says nothing about Mary for love either. It
says if you can't sustain from not having sex anymore thing,
you should find a wife. So I don't know, I
just feel like people are I'm I'm stressed out about
the black community right now. I'm not black, nom more, y'all.
I forgot to tell y'all, I'm gold with a little degreen.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
So listen, how you stressed out about a community you
don't even belong to it anymore?
Speaker 1 (48:42):
The word uh not expatriate. I have uh not excommunicated.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
Your expet from the black community.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Not expat I'm looking for h I have divested. No,
I'm not divested.
Speaker 2 (48:56):
I'm gonna say now you divested from the black community.
It's crazy.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
No, I'm not I divested, but I just it's a
lot of things that we got going on. I just
don't agree with you, know what I'm saying. So listen,
if you.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Are so situationships are one of them. You think that
relationship or the hooked up culture gotta stop. It's so
crazy that you your age now, you know what that
reminds me of, Like my grandma telling me these are
last days. And I'm like, Grandma, You're seventy years old
and now you're talking about it's our last days and
I'm just a young bud.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
You know why is that you feel with me talking
to you right now?
Speaker 2 (49:30):
No, I'm saying you talking to the people, not me
talking to the audience, like saying, you're not being in
hellas situationships in your life, and now you're telling.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
Hella, I have been in one. I have been Excuse me,
I've been in two situationships in life. Okay too, Compee girl, Well,
if if it turns into a relationship, wasn't really a situationship.
I mean, like I begetting to the end, it was
(49:59):
never nothing else going on. I'm tired of saying situationship anyway,
don't uh, y'all.
Speaker 2 (50:08):
When y'all watch this, I want you to watch it
with your homegirls and take a sip of your drink.
Every time we say situationship. It shouldn't go out to
the day party or stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (50:19):
Anyway. What's your last last time?
Speaker 2 (50:23):
Listen? Life is short. Do what makes you happy, you know,
do it feels good, but just be prepared for the
consequences of all your choices. That's my last last.
Speaker 1 (50:35):
Y'all. I choose clarity over confusion, because that's all my
situationships is offering. If you don't know where you stand
in someone else's life, if you're having a call another
bitch to ask her if she's fucking with him, fucking
with this man, you you gotta check in with somebody
(50:57):
else to see where you stand in this man's life.
You are and that's super duper situation ship. Get out
of there, save your life. But all situation girls, shut
up you a boy anyway, There can be clarity within
your situation.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
This is what it is.
Speaker 1 (51:15):
I guess anyway, y'all. If you enjoy this episode, y'all
tune in every Thursday on The Black Effect. iHeart radio app.
Where the fuck you get your podcast at? This your.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Yeah it's Sam Mam. I got on T shirt and sweatpants.
Maybe that's the energy I'm giving today. Maybe I am
a dyke today.
Speaker 1 (51:32):
Fuck you bitch.
Speaker 2 (51:34):
Remember to speak now and never hold your nuts.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
We Talk Back podcast is a production of iHeart Radio.
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