You're So Good You're Bad

AJ Holiday and TamBam explore the true characteristics of masculinity, breaking down what defines a “real man” in the context of modern relationships. They contrasts genuine confidence, emotional maturity, and self-awareness with the behavior of men who engage in negativity and performative opinions online. AJ emphasizes that while money may enhance a man’s appeal, true charisma and attraction come from inner confidence, presence, and authenticity.

The conversation also delves into the influence of cultural figures like Kevin Samuels on men’s dating perspectives, self-image, views on relationships and the importance of emotional intelligence, accountability, and respectful communication in building healthy connections. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
and the Black Effect Network.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
talks back.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
What's up, y'all, it's a girl a j holiday.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
What's up Tandam y'all it's Tandavam.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Y'all know, y'all know. I love y'all. Y'all know, y'all
know what. Y'all know? What the fuck going on? I love?
How's your weekend? Oh? I did go outside just one day, bitch.
I still did Costco and I just I still did
TJ Max and Marshalls. It's the holidays, Okay, I've been

(00:42):
neating shit. You just you don't meet ship. Ain't no
way you mean I'm doing. I'll be trying to, Okay.
So I literally went to every single TJ Max and
every single Marshals and every single Home Goods. So it's
like two to three of each in the city. Why
is I trying to do my betting? Anyway, y'all? I

(01:06):
met our boyfriend, okay, our boyfriend or Friday? Okay, David Banner.
Bitch made her best, bitch win. Remember I have a
little inchie closerent. You wrong now, Dale where you met
him at so he actually was speaking the Avery Institute

(01:26):
here in Charleston. He was speaking at the They had
him speaking at the African American Museum International. You have
him to come on the show, No, I didn't a
j I get. I'm going to though. Okay, we're gonna
see all right, that nigga. When I got up to
him to take the picture, I was like, you need
some eighty h you need something at Aerall. He was like,

(01:48):
I don't need nothing. That motherfucker does not keep still.
You hearing me like a kid, just bing bang bing
bang bang, like even their in an interview. You told
that man he needs adder all, that you need a
cople that. You know, I'm always saying, what the fuck?
You Remember how Drake daddy was mad because I asked

(02:10):
that nigga. He was sleepy, h sleeping? You sleep, you
go to sleep. Yeah, he was mad at you. I
hear he was so angry. He was big man. I
was like, oh my god, why did she say that
to this man? I said, Drake, come get your son, right,

(02:30):
come get your fucking daddy and all these twenty year
old faces. You like her speaking in trouble right here yeah,
but that nigga was ping ponging around. He is so fine. Okay,
he know he is sexy, but like he like literally
kept talking about how like that's a part of his
whole thing, like now being a sex now being a

(02:54):
sex nobody. I want him to get his gray hair
back though, because I did not like that black hair
on top. I like you, but that man fine, y'all
with nice looking man okay, fifty one years old, aries,
no kids, no wife? What the fuck you got going
on in life?

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Right?

Speaker 1 (03:14):
I want to know? And he was all in his
life because now I started fucking stalking a little bit afterwards.
But ain't you didn't for me? Chocolate girl? I don't know?
He all in the lives saying how he had a
good time in Charleston, like aside from the museum, and
he locking his lips like I gotta lock it and
throw away the key? Who you been smashing? And like

(03:35):
four bitches here? I want to know, and you want
to who is who?

Speaker 2 (03:41):
The three?

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Who? Who? I want to know?

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I want to know too, And why wasn't it me?

Speaker 1 (03:47):
And he is a video.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
Y'all.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Let me tell you about my weekend and this is
me being totally candid, So y'all know, I was like,
they net whyyen And I was liking him, and it
was his birthday this weekend, and y'all, I tricked off.
I didn't typically trick you off on a nigga, right,
But I got him a plane ticket to New Orleans
and tickets good seats to the Pelican game Repelicans game.

(04:14):
And then I ended up not taking that nigga because
please don't play with me, y'all. Feel the temperature outside.
That's how col I am on the nigga when they
play with me. So I did not take him.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
I took another nigga play.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
With it, but oh my gosh, I was like, I
did not enjoy the other nigga, y'all.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
This nigga was Chase smoking cigarettes. I was like, oh, yuck,
smoking cigarettes? Is that that shit is fucking wild? Okay,
that's a nasty ass habit. Oh. I was so miserable.
Another lifen knowing nigga who smokes you knowing nigga who
smokes cigarettes? And I asked him why the fuck he

(04:59):
smoked cigarette all the time? But I you know, they
don't go yeah, why how how you know a nigga
that I smoked cigarettes, that you're going out of town with. Bruh.
It was so bad. It was so bad. Ugh, I go,
my hair stink right now.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
I just got back to that, know my hair is stink.
Then he kept on complaining about the bill at the
restaurant's bruh, you were ordering to entrees every time we
go somewhere and then complaining about the bill. Oh y'all,
it was just not I was glad. I was just
the one day, like he's cool as a friend but
nothing more. And I was just like missing my waii

(05:42):
in the whole time.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
I was missing him.

Speaker 2 (05:46):
But still the window, Oh all right, they're like all right,
all right, no shade to people with autism, but okay,
but listen.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Because he careful like talking like this, so I don't know.
I just was like, huh, I guess. I was like,
you have an do you have autumn? He's like whoa.
I was like, have you been tested?

Speaker 3 (06:18):
Because what the fuck going on? I can't hear your
motherfucking ass. I just saw hug motherfucking tickets.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Hold on, why was he whispering? It's like he I
do not know, like his voice got mbre or something
like you just go up and come down, like I think.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Listen, I think he take some drugs behind my back
and then say that because he was smoking a boot cigarette.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
No, that would make you loud. I think I think
he was like propping peels or something like that. I
don't know. It was wow, y'all. I was like, yo,
where did you find this guy? Last minute? Right? It
was some last Man and shit, I know. I took
the Wii in like this, like you just listen. All

(07:08):
that should is okay, okay, like you just gotta stop
getting mad about ship though, because he obviously is just
for fun. No, I listen, I have fun together, like
just hang out.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
I should have just took him. I should have just
took him while I had paid for it. I should
have just took that nigga because maybe that.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
Was music another new Port bro need a patch. He
should have get that nigga pa, get him a patch
for his birthday.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
I sent him a message like you know, all jokes aside,
like you really need to like do something about the smoking,
like it's out of control. I was like, I want
you to be here a long time. He said, Okay, back,
that's all he said.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
But it was okay, yep, that nigga. No, but that
ain't got too many bills that get stressed out, Like
he's not about to stop smoking today or tomorrow. Damn Jeane,
Damn jan If you still smoking cigarettes, man, get your
life together. That is so nasty, it is gross. Yeah, yuck,
all right, all right, y'all. So yah, y'all said he's

(08:15):
tyty y'all old hags. Okay, hydy y'all old ladies. Oh,
she didn't really say that, but ya ya. Mayweather, Floyd
Mayweather's daughter says she would like to see, you know,
people in her age group on Love and Hip Hop
and Real Housewives of Atlanta and she like that, like
she would prefer to see some more familiar faces. I

(08:37):
guess because it is our generation. I would think, you know,
but maybe y'all gotta come up with y'a own shit.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
That's what I'm thinking, Like, maybe shit. You gotta have
money and the connections produce some shit, help produce some shit,
because these shows have cult followings, you know, like they
want to see these people as they progress. That's why
they're the same people for the most part. Like you
think of your Housewives of Atlanta we don't want to

(09:04):
see a whole cast of new bitches, Like, no, you
want to see the same.

Speaker 1 (09:08):
People, new young bitches at that. So she said, I
want to I want to see basketball, wives and Love
and hip Hop with young ladies from my generation. Much
respect to the older women, but they had their time
to shine. I think it's time to pass the torch.
So she just wants to revamp the existing camp. No,
these kids love type shit type shit. You don't make

(09:29):
that show right, And you know, people in the comments
was like, oh, we don't want to see her, and
she's not talking about herself. She's not saying she wants
to do her Realize that celebrities watch TV too, right,
I mean, if you're going to consider a celebrity, yes,
she watches TV too, So she just wants to see

(09:50):
somebody else on. Who would you.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Cast for love and hip Hop type shit type shit.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
That's like the younger generation love and hip hop? I
don't know who are the younger?

Speaker 2 (10:03):
Who are the younger you know who I would want
to see on it. I would want to see Mona Leo,
I would coiler ray for sure. Go ahead and throw
Lady London on there.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
I think they're a little bit too like popping for
you know. Usually like the people who end up on
our shows are like trying to get their music their star.

Speaker 2 (10:26):
But yeah, but I mean I don't know, like I
don't know anybody. This is who I would want to
see and they actually are hip hop artists. Lady London, Mona,
Leo coiler Ray And for the guys, we could put
Justin Laboy because you know him and Coilerrere are dating. Yeah,
I think though Drew Ski ass on there for funny man.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
When you think about that, you think.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
They would be good on their high.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Oh yeah, any yeah, okay, that would be a good show.
I would watch that, but that'll never happen. But throw
Chrishan Rocking and the Baby Daddy on it.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
Is gonna all No, that's they already got it. I
don't want to see them no more.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Been trying to reset their timeline and get them niggas
out there. This is that I do.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
My guilty pleasure is I watched baddies on the stair climber.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Bitch bitch hope bench that keep me going? Y'all motherfuckers
would do that stair climb? What are y'all training? For it?
What are you training for? That's my favorite machine? Really,
I like the a MT machine adaptive motion, so it's
like an elliptical slash okay, elliptical slash step so you're

(11:47):
kind kind of run on that ship, you know what
I'm saying that I'll lifting your foot up. Yeah, I
like that instead like that that's their crime, be making
you poor sweat though, Like, but how much calories? Can't?
Because I feel like, okay, how many calais can you
burn it an hour on a stair climber. I don't.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
I haven't done the research, but I just know it's
like a really good cardio and I like being on
that motherfucker. It'd be like a young bitch beside me
and I'd be like working her ass.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
But you got to build up to a thousand calories.
A thousand calories and an hour on the AMT oh
really yes? And I feel like it's not as bad
on your knees as doing a stair climber, because I
mean it's essentially like walking upstairs a bunch of flights
of stairs.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
Oh no, it is, That's exactly what it.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
So it's just it doesn't feel like you're doing that
much as a stair climber, but I mean different. Yeah,
it's just different movements, like your hands, everything involved.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
I gotta try it. I've never been on that one.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's hard to find them, you know what I'm saying.
I literally want everybody pick a gym. I I'll call
and ask them, like, do y'all have like the amt agment.
We're gonna say, yeah, adoptive motion. It's by pre Corps.
I like that.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
Okay, I'm gonna check it out. I don't I go
to planning Fitness. I don't think they got that much.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
They probably got something similar to it. Yeah, I'm pretty
sure they got something simular to her. It says the
same motion anyway.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
A North Carolina jury has all ordered TikTok influencer Brenne
Kennard to play to pay one point seventy five million
after finding her responsible for the collapse of a Kira
Montacue's marriage, a case only possible in a handful of states.
So Montacues lawsuit, filed in Durham County Superior Court, accused

(13:43):
Canard of alienation of affection and criminal conversation, two legal
claims that allowed spouse to suit someone for wrongly interfering
in their marriage and for adultery. Baby, ain no dick,
I hear we're paying another bitch one point seventy five
million dollars.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
And that's fucking crazy. Okay, she actually went to court
and represented herself, that's what she fucked up at. She
probably didn't take that shit serious. I don't know if
she's not from the state of North Carolina, because maybe
if the husband and the wife was from North Carolina,
that's how you can sue in the state of North
Carolina suit that person in the state of North Carolina.
I don't know if it works like that or she's

(14:22):
from North Carolina too. But baby, you don't ever go
to court. I mean, I'm a lawyer without a degree
without it she said.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
Man, she might have said that too, shit, and that's
one point seventy five million. Listen, anytime somebody man is
in my DMS, I'm gonna send him this.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
I'm gonna send him to the court case you got
you got one five cause if you don't, if you
don't have that, you shouldn't be in nobody's DM and
you married first of all, either you're gonna have to
pay the other bitch or you're gonna have to pay
the other bitch. You need to pay her to shut up,
or if your wife sues her, you need to be
able to pay it bill too.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
I wonder because she sue the husband now, like for
the money. Oh the side she was looking it for him.
They about to have a baby together.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Oh the girl was up in the course saying she
knew their marriage was already over. Their marriage was, but
they weren't legally divorced, ma'am. Okay, maybe I would have
been there, like he's married. What No, But she was
posted up online with this woman's husband. They had over
seven thousand like what did they say, seven hundred or

(15:36):
seven thousand pieces of evidence? Wow, I was out here
recogram cell phone like then you did that? And then
she's sitting up they on the videos together. This is
this woman's husband one point seventy five million. Ain't no
fucking way, y'all.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
That's y'all nobody husband, and y'all dial is just I'm
a court case and send it to the SA. It's like,
this is what you're trying to do if you in
the state of North Carolina, honestly, right.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
So I thought this is really funny. I saw earlier
how Offset and Finanse two time was going back and
forth with each other. And I mean the content of
the argument, ain't that Like, I don't know what they
really was going back. I don't know. So finessic Times
was like, nigger, you a bitch. You you suing your
baby mama. I'm over here begging my kids, mama to
see my kids, all of you and your and you

(16:32):
you suing your Offset response like, nigga, I'm not arguing
what a bbl I have a bad belt dyke like
what he is? Kicked up? He is, said, I don't know.
I listen that dude got too much hips and asked, man,

(16:53):
he is very hippie. It's the diet. Because while you
got all that ass like his mama.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
There is this guy in Charlotte, y'all, and I think
he just would have made me the perfect husband. He's
very successful, he's attractive, but he just had he had
the same bookie as me.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Hey, no way, I can't do this. How you gripping
that ass? Yea? He was so good, he was so
nic His ass was fat as mine.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Like he was standing at my kitchen seek and I
was looking at him I was like, man, he looked
like a bad bitch for behinde I cannot do.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Is he like choky or like just like you just had?

Speaker 2 (17:37):
But he was fit, but he just had a big
ass and hips.

Speaker 1 (17:44):
I ain't like that. I had to let that go,
all right, held listen.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
It is a woman finally met her online boyfriend in
person but never told him she uses a wheelchair and
has no legs.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
And it's a video, y'all. He looked up set then
he was so happy. She looks so happy.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
She smiled, and he looking like, what the fuck going on?

Speaker 1 (18:10):
You gotta get that convenient ass pussy. She ain't got
no legs in a way, it's just all pussy right there,
like he was talking about, I feel like that disclose though, No, absolutely,
I don't know what I would do if I pull up,
if I flew across the country to pull up on
a nigga and no legs? Right, but what if he

(18:30):
had a third one? Right, you're gonna get the nigga go?
That's not right? Can run? I know if it was
nice with a bag, you got disability check. I know
at least.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
No, you know what I don't want to say, like
I wouldn't date somebody who has a disability because that
because I was diagnosed with him. An, what's somebody you know,
I don't want people like, Oh, I don't want to
date her because what the potential is was, Yeah, the
potential of what could happen, you know.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
Got a damn mss man. The people misdiagnosed. That's what
I feel like.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
I feel misdiagnosed honestly because I'll be healthy for the
most part.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
And y'all know di these starting to mind, man, I
ain't never accept the no shit.

Speaker 2 (19:19):
I haven't believed this diagnos me and I don't feel it.
But so that's why i'd be like, I don't want
to just discount somebody for that. But you got to
mention you ain't got no legs, man, you can't just
leave that out. I remember I had this tender date, y'all,
this nigga I made him.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
At what's that?

Speaker 2 (19:40):
What's that restaurant? Like, it's an Italian restaurant at South Park.

Speaker 1 (19:45):
Ma.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
Giano's brouh. I walked into Ma Gianos. This motherfucker was
sitting at the bar and his legs was swinging, y'all.

Speaker 1 (19:55):
I was like, this nigga short as fucked. That's my
type of nigga.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
No, I'm talking about swinging. And he had to jump
down to give me a hug. I was like, Oh,
this is the littlest nigga showed you here.

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Really tripping.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
No, he was he like he might have been like
borderline legal small person.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
He was like just like, yeah, he had your arms,
he had short everything.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
He was so little. But when I tell y'all had
so much fun with him. He was so funny.

Speaker 1 (20:28):
He ain't got no choice. He was so funny.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
But yeah, no, that was the last time of song,
and he took all his pictures on tender like from
the bottom up. I should have knew something was wrong
with that because he made hissel like he had height and.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
He was going, y'all, y'all, y'all niggas getting kind of sneaky.
I can seeing you hall think some of y'all heels behes.
And he had like a little insert you could put
in the sneaker right to give you a couple of inches.
I know a few niggas there's there's.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
A whole surgery to extend the lift of your legs
that men have got.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, I've seen that. That is so crazy. Man. I
am the owner and CEO of nonprofit. I'm an advocate
for short niggas. Okay, I love y'all you nigga now? Man, No,
he's like six foot five, look five eleven, but nigga

(21:27):
five eleven. That's so like average height for a man.
It is like five six five eight nowadays, like for
real like super tall people. That is not like the
average height for a man. Yeah, it's like over six
two that that is not the majority of men, black white, whoever.
I agree, I think and under is anyway, y'all. I

(21:52):
guess pappoos must have hit the lottery chat because Clarissa Clarissa,
she was just signed an eight million dollar deal with
Salita Promotions and Win Records, And this is like a
historical deal for a female boxer, right graduat mm hmm,
so total value at least eight at least eight million

(22:13):
over two years from minimum four fights. Signing bonus three
million dollars sided bonus is a part of her deal.
And then something else got to do with music, and
I think that's where Pat Pooss comes in at. But
she was celebrating and there's a video on social media
right now with Pat Poo's saying I love you to death.
He said, let me repeat that. I'm playing on the mic.

(22:33):
Let me repeat that, I love you to death?

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Right, eight million dollars.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Yeah, exactly like you my bitch for life. We locked in.
I ain't mad. She bad be careful, she bad be careful,
but I love you.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
I like I watched her the movie about her life,
and I was just in love with her based on
the movie, Like, I was just so proud of her.
But some of the stuff, the some of the stuff
that she be saying on LI, she just be coming
off like a mean girl. And I know, like boxers
are supposed to be arrogant and cocky, and that's part
of the persona like you gotta be if you a fighter,
you know. But sometimes it's just be like, like I

(23:13):
didn't like, I don't appreciate her, like how she comes
at Leila Ali. Are you supposed to respect her? She
is so unproblematic she is. Yeah, and then she she
came out with a dissertation about this bitch.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Did you see that? I mean she had like receipts
for days again. Yeah. Yeah, this bitch is like a
fan turn and hater basic. Yeah, that's what Carissa Shields did.
I mean, this is you are, this is your senior essentially,
like I'm not getting in the ring of give you
no money. That's that's basically what lately Laila Ali said,

(23:48):
You're not making no money off of me, right with
your nasty ass, and I'm not. I don't fight no more.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
I don't fight. I'm a wife and a mother and
that's what I do now, and I prove it myself.
I don't have to prove anything to anybody anymore.

Speaker 1 (24:02):
So girl, yes, especially to Clarissa. Right.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
So I don't like that, but I'm having her congratulations
because from nothing, I'll tell you, like her story, like
and how hard she worked to be where she is.
I'm proud of her for that because she did work
hard and she came from the trenches, y'all. Flint, Michigan.
I think it was Flint. Yeah, she struggled.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
So I don't know. I didn't watch the wass Not documentary,
but it's I guess. I guess it's a biopic. Yeah,
I didn't. I've never seen it. Yeah, watched your interview
in the Breakfast Club, but I didn't watch the movie.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
It was good, it was good. She's from Flint and
she came up in very poverty, very poor situation. And
what's that Ryan Destiny played her. She did a good job.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that. I saw few. All right,
y'allso listen, So today we want to talk about self
proclaimed nice guy, good guy, nice guy, good guys, right right?
The self proclaimed good guy? Is he really? All right?

Speaker 2 (25:15):
Let's get into it.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
We'll be right back, all right. So I know y'all,
maybe maybe not, but have you guys seen this clip
from the TV show, the reality TV show Love Is Blind.
I know a lot of y'all watch it. I don't
watch TV like that, especially reality TV, but I do

(25:38):
remember seeing this particular clip and that shit. I've always
been saying this for years, that them self proclaimed good niggas,
I'm a good nigga, I'm a good dude. You got
to be careful with them. It's certain.

Speaker 2 (25:55):
It's certain things that I don't like when people self
proclaim it, like you need to allow other people to
say that about.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
You exactly, you know, right? So Edmund Harvey and how
do you do you watch that show? Is it Calibra?
Is that her name? Calibra?

Speaker 2 (26:10):
KB don't get me the lie I don't watch it,
none of I can't just hand none of it. And
the crazy party that I tried to be on one
of them.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Remember, yeah, I would.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
I auditioned for Love is Blind season nine and I
almost made it, but they chose a divergin instead of me.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
Shame. Yeah. So Calibra KB Haskin and Edmund Harvey. They
were on the most recent episode of Love Is Blind
season nine, and KB states she has chosen to wait
for sex and why and was clear about her boundaries.
This is what she's telling her now fiance because y'all

(26:47):
know in those TV shows like you don't really meet
the person until I guess you choose them, right, is
how it works on there. So now they're engaged, right,
So she's telling him like she wants to wait until
you get actually to get married to have sex. So
Edmund becomes upset and starts crying in bed. Okay, and

(27:08):
partly because his fiance is choosing a weight and he
frames his frustration around feeling like the nice guy who
is being taken advantage of. Right, So the whole discussion
online is about what is it online? No, it's about
it's not even an online discussion, Well.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
There was one about it. Yeah, yeah, people were talking about.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
This that that ship was fucking scary to me that
he busted out crying like that.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Oh yeah, that was manipulation.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
That is minus. Yes, you are trying to why do
you why is why would anybody want pity pussy? Because
that's essentially what it would be. But I'm not here.
I know who like he like pity pussy? You know
him too.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Oh he expressed that to me like he don't mind
pitty pissy open wi.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
He told you that name on you pussy is terror, Like,
why would you want some man nigga here pussy? Why
would you want that? Right? Is that good? No? That
is borderline. That's what we be talking about sometimes when
you do some shit because you really don't want to

(28:23):
do it, and you just hear.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Here man, damn, I hear some here a damn pussy.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Hey. Yeah, So it's scary to me that he started
crying on national television because the woman would't give him
no gucci? Are you that sexually frustrated?

Speaker 2 (28:43):
But then I tried to put myself in a man's shoes,
not particularly him, because he seemed like very manipulative, But
what if it is not really all you think about
the type of man that's going to go on the
show like this one?

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Right, that part.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Is a particular type of man that's going to audition
to marry a stranger. Right, I think with women women
because men give access to marriage, right, not women?

Speaker 1 (29:13):
So I partially agree with that, Why yeah, because I
know that's the whole thing. Like women give access to sex,
men give access to marriage. But once you ask a
woman to marry you, like, I still got to decide
to walk down an island nod, Like I still have
a decision in that process, right, So I really don't.

(29:34):
I don't believe that anymore, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (29:38):
No, I get what you're saying.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
But people got to execute on the thing one day, right, right.
But I just think I hate when I see a
woman proposing. I hate it. That's not your person. That
man doesn't like you. You cannot a man is going
to do exactly what he wants to do, right, And
you don't want a man who does some shit because
you've harassed the men to do. You don't want that. Ultimately,

(30:02):
he doesn't want to be in that relationship and he's
just hey, man, hit a ring. You don't want no
type that type of ship, right, But I tried to
throw yeah, period settling.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Never if I wish I would see a bitch down
on one knee, I'm like accidentally accidental.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
Oh I'm sorry, get up and rob them. I'm gonna
snatch the ring and run. Okay.

Speaker 2 (30:30):
I try to think about a really a nice guy,
right who just never get no pussy. That could be
very frustrating, like because for whatever reason he just can't
close he can't close the deal.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Everybody, You're not supposed to get pussy.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
That's the that's that's what.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
The world has fucked up. Right, And I know I've
said this before. If we were in the wild as animals,
if women really like measured the things that are required
to have a family, right, because that is an ultimate
goal when you're when you are procreating and dating and
all that stuff just take away like laws and religion.

(31:10):
Just we looking like we animals. Right, It's a lot
of is that would die having never had sex, just
like animals do. Not even gets cooch, you know what
I'm saying. So it is natural selection essentially that you're
gonna die because nobody sees you as a suitable mate.
It's just and it could happen to women also. I'm
not saying that, but women look at other things like

(31:32):
men look at the physical. Right. A lot of times
women we the ship that we like and men like
it's sometimes it's not it's not physical physical, it's like
some genesi qua you know what I'm saying. It's the
aura of the man like that, just that.

Speaker 2 (31:47):
Masculine, like Likew's elbow. I don't think Elbow was like
the finest in the face, like he's very handsome, don't
get me wrong, but it was that viril manness out
him that Jonathan Major's had, that masculin that was just like, WHOA,
take me down.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
I've been crying a little bit too lately now I've
been took them off my vision board. Yeah, I said,
I shivered that white woman out. Oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
After I see her chasing him down the street, I
was like, oh no.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
He better run girl ship. He was running for his
life literally.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, but still got fucked up. But that just kind
of turned me off. But yeah, yeah, but when you
feel sorry for a man like that, though, I feel
sad for them, like they just clo okay.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Because oftentimes those men they can get pussy, they just
can't get the pussy from the women that they think
they should get the pussy from. Right, So that's when
I see, like perfect example, because we haven't talked about this,
that the hate that you got online on Good Mom's
Bad Choices podcast, just because you're choosing to let this
why in waste your fucking time instead it is supposed

(33:00):
these nice those are the good guys that were talking crazy.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
Oh they were so mad if after some point because
it was like the anger that I received from men
shot stranger m hm shocked me so bad.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Because why are y'all so mad at this? They don't
have nothing to do with you because you have a choice.
Your choice was to let this y in play in
your face and not them.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
And they were big married. No I'm talking how dare
you big mad?

Speaker 1 (33:35):
How dare you not give me a chance over here
some nigga I don't know, to play in my face?
That is why they're upset. They men get mad because
they can't have access to the pussy they think they
should have access to. That's it, right, why that's where
that hate is stemming from.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Because if I was sitting there unattractive, and they wouldn't
even comment.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
They wouldn't care it, just like they scroll past. Get
what you're supposed to, what you're getting.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Yeah, but they I'm talking about they tried to eat
me up and I was cussing the niggas out to Oh.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
I had fun with it for a little while, but
then it was like, all right, Well I finally went
and looked on it. I'm like, yo, what the fuck
is happening? Those are clearly in sales. Real men are
not in those. And this is why y'all not getting
kucci because real men are not in the comments attacking
women like that. They're fucking them right, Okay, eve been
fucking them since high school. So really y'all need to

(34:30):
go like they do need a Kevin Samuel's type nigga
back right, because once Kevin Samue's first came out, his
thing was more geared towards men and image and getting there.
What is it? A sex value up and all this things? Like,
there's a lot of things. It's just some some men
can wake up and get new box. Not all men
can do that. So you have men who get money,

(34:50):
because money gives you instant swag. You add money for
instant swag, right, but swag is the ability to bag
bitches when no money, right, Okay, just some niggas got
it and some don't.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
Oh I would listen they say they little nasty comment
under the comments, and baby, I will go to their
page and comment under the picture.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
Oh and eat them up. Baby, I know you ain't
fucking talking shit to me. Look at you, you cling
in on them. Oh yes, it was fun.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
But we had those guys would really think that they're
good guys. And you are now allowing a yian to
play with you instead of dating one of dating one
of us because we're good, which you're really not. You're
really not good. And then the thing is is that
let me tell you if you're good, right, I by
you just telling me, oh, I'm a good guy, and

(35:45):
then we actually get into a relationship or whatever, and
you spawn from the fucking devil A lot of them,
a lot of them. So let me talk to your ex,
Let me talk to your first baby mama. Right, No,
if you're a nice guy or not.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
The last self proclaimed nice guy that I was dating,
and I was just like, oh, this is gonna be
my husband.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
He's so nice, he's so sweet. He's that.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Nigga was all married to a traveling nurse and she
was out of town and she was about to come home.
He ghosted me after like three months. I like my
intuition was on gee because I just would never give
him no buns. I just wouldn't take it there. And
then right before I did, I like said something that

(36:34):
I made him develop a conscious and he just kind
of just I don't even know if that's what really
happened or the baby. The wife was coming back from
wherever she was traveling to, but he ghosted me.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
I realized he couldn't play with you like that, and
he just cut a short. Some people just like to
frighten us, you know what I'm saying. They're not really
actually gonna ever do the things. They just want to
feel like they can. People who in relationships sometimes you
just want to feel like they still got it a
little bit will actually be out here cheating certain whole
relationships with other women and other men.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
And I'm talking about this. Nigga was like, I'm ready
for I'm ready for a wife. You ready for a wife?

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Tripping? Oh No, he's a liar. He was the worst liar,
and he probably you probably said some shit that made
him think that, man, she's gonna be a problem. Just bit,
you gonna come to my house, This is you gonna
call my wife?

Speaker 2 (37:25):
This vin whole motherfucking shit out. Please, you got free
with me. I remember as you And before he goes
to me, I remember thanking him for being a good
person and telling him how I meet so many men
who try to manipulate and take advantage, and I just
want to thank you for like being so good. That's
the last time I saw this motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
But that was good of him to disappear, right but right,
It was good of him.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
But then he came back and told me the truth.
Like maybe two months later, he sent me a message
saying like, I just you know, I didn't know that
you were how you are, and I just didn't feel
like I didn't want to do you like that. You were,
you are a good woman. I just didn't want to
do you like that. And I'm married, and and I
guess he thought, because I'm listening, I'm sweet as poet

(38:14):
to I ain't. So he thought I was gonna respond like, well,
thank you for telling me the truth. I was like, bitch,
I'll spit in your face if I see you. That's
what I told.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Yeah, because what he thought, he didn't think he was
was gonna have to drag that ship up for three
fucking months. He thought he was going to smash your
ass for the first couple of fucking weeks, That's what happened,
and he realized that I wasn't going nowhere and he
gonna really have to put some work in. I bitch,
A'm married or just is playing? I was just playing.
I'll get right back right. I hate you, motherfucker. So

(38:51):
I believe we've all dated that good guys. Me. I'm
trying to think if I ever so, I feel like
all of them, all everybody who have ever done Okay,
I can say like, right now, I'm actually dating a
good guy. This is probably the only good guy that
I have chosen. I'll say that, right, Because we run

(39:14):
into people and we may not like them for whatever reason, right,
and you you think back, like, damn, he might have
been good for me, but for whatever reason, you just
didn't feel them.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
Was it feeling him like that, that big ass boy?

Speaker 1 (39:31):
So that happens too, maybe weeks. Sometimes women, as women,
we overlook the good guys, right because you're you're wrapped
up with this damn demon demon dick. You can't even
see the good guy in front of you. That happens too.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
I met another guy that was a really, really good guy,
no kids, never been married, very successful looking forward that
and we had a good thing. But I just did
not like the fact that he didn't have any black friends.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
Like where did he grow up?

Speaker 2 (40:08):
And that was his thing. He was like, you know,
I've grown up in upper suburbia and this is the
people I was around my whole life. I went to
this is the people I went to school with. This
is this is always been. I was like, I'm twelve
years old. What I'm supposed to do, Like I'm hanging
out with the people I go to school with. I
hang out with.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
He went to like predominantly white colleges too, Like.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
He's just matriculated through white spaces his entire life.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
And had he only dated white girls? Were you going
to be his first black? No?

Speaker 2 (40:43):
I wasn't his first black, but he did have like
like the last girlfriend was white. Well, he was like
she was Argentina.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
What this Hispanic and white? Hispanic? I just said Argentinan.
What all right?

Speaker 2 (41:05):
So that's not white? Okay, I mean to be she
look white, but y'all, don't be bad. I'm not being racist.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
She just look white to me. But okay, yeah, I
mean a lot of the Spaniards are fair complexed for sure.
So if she's from Argentina.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
I don't just say that she was not a black woman.
I'll say that she was not black.

Speaker 1 (41:26):
Yeah. So and then I'm a real nigga. You know
what I'm saying. I'm like, what do you like? You
like me?

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Because I'm not what you're used to baby, you know,
like so I don't know, but not and that kind
of like.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
You know what I'm saying, like what did he talk
like a white man? Was he like? Was he stuffy?
All right? So y'all, so there are I mean, maybe
we can go over like the a few types of
like self proclaimed good guy okay, types of people I

(42:02):
don't know, all right. So I think one of the
major things is like good guys they want like major
reward for minute small bullshit. Right, So just because you
open doors for people, you think I'm supposed to suck

(42:24):
you dick, right, you know what I'm saying. And They
kind of think that chivalry equals moral superiority, and it doesn't. Okay,
There's a whole lot of other things that goes into
actually being a good guy, good human. One of my
homegirls is married, and when she picked her current partner,

(42:48):
she said that she basically, you know, because of her
how terrible her her previous relationship was. She basically just
was looking for somebody who did not exempt by those
particular qualities. She find about all the other shit. And
I think that's why wating is so important, right because
you have you actually need like a collection. You need

(43:10):
to experience a few people to actually know that you
like and don't like in your boundaries, you know what
I'm saying, Because like say, for instance, like this guy
beats you, right, so you go get the next guy
who just doesn't beat you, but he still be crazy
and he don't work.

Speaker 3 (43:25):
Or.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
Or some shit like you know what I'm saying. So
it's it's always there's more. It's there's always different things.
It's more shit, okay. And in order for you to
know what your your likes or dislikes are, you kind
of got experience different people. You kind of have to
go through it to know you don't fuck with that,
or at least you know. I think I'm the time
that kind of can learn from other people's experiences, Like

(43:50):
I ain't fuck with that. So that's like one of
the things I put on my list. Yeah, like I'm
looking for a man that has this thing or does
not do this right.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
So you kind of got What about the nice guy narcissist?
He uses nicest niceness as a pr campaign, melts down,
will reject it, and feels that women are unfair for
not choosing him. That's that guy from the show.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
All day long. That so that is narcissistic behavior, like crying,
trying to manipulate her emotionally to get some couchie. It's
fucking crazy. But you better take this hand job of
these kisses and be done with it. I'm not gonna lie.
I I probably would have snatched him. You about to

(44:39):
get married, like I need to see what the dick
is like before we get married. Like I don't really
want to get married and then see what the dick
is like. That's why I don't agree with like people
not living together before like I even know how you went.
I need to know.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
I probably wouldn't have fucked the master.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
That yeah, that should open after after him crying that
it's overwet. You can't even stand the pressure of no kuchie, like,
what's going to happen right and you crying about some boosy. Yeah,
that ship is scared the funk out of me. They didn't.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
They end up not getting married, but.

Speaker 1 (45:18):
She really tried.

Speaker 2 (45:19):
I felt bad because it seemed like she was trying
her based on what I saw. You know, I didn't
watch the show, but based on the clips I saw,
it seemed like she was just, you know, very open
minded and really wanted a husband because she was going
for the ship. That I would be like, nigga, is
you crying right now?

Speaker 1 (45:37):
I know you fucking like you would popped him. I
would have popped him. This is why I always say adults,
you would not hitting that man because he needed it.
He needed to get a pop pop. I would giving
yourself to cry about, to ask exactly you want you

(45:58):
don't want this? That's how I would have done it
with my hand, just like you want this. I would
have got a belt. You cannot be getting no belt
and no grown man. If you don't stop on crying,
I'm gonna give you something to cry about. Yes, he
needed as ask what the martyr? Good guy? I treat

(46:20):
women right and still get hurt, always a victim in
every story, never accountable. Always it's a bunch of trauma. Right.
So I do know I have some guy friends who
I feel like like they all these stories that sound
like a scorn black woman. I do have some guy

(46:44):
friends like, like, God, you ain't have no good experiences women? Ever,
what are you? How are you doing your niggas broke picker. Yeah,
like so, I don't know. I need to see your
your first if you got kids, I need to talk
to your first being mama. And I need to talk

(47:06):
to your mama. Okay, I need to see how you
be treating your mama. If your mama tell me you good,
then you might be good.

Speaker 2 (47:14):
I'm not like these other dudes. Guy, you are indeed
like these other niggas. You're just like them. Anytime somebody
say that they typically are one of them, niggas, just
like all the rest of them.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
I mean, a god might say the same thing about
a woman. Because I like to think that I'm not
like all other women.

Speaker 2 (47:39):
I like, I tell niggas, I'm just like the rest
of them. I want some money too. The fuck you're
talking about?

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Like, no, no, that part. Yeah, Like I don't.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Think you could come over here and don't do nothing.
I just like these bitches, don't get it twisted. You're
gonna make you have to make me feel special, right,
So no.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
Oil or okay? So why do self proclaim good guy?
Why are self proclaimed good guy so dangerous? I think
the self proclaimed good guy. Oh, I got another friend
who was dating a self proclaimed good guy. And this guy,
like everybody knew him in the city, you know what
I'm saying. Like he was actually a trainer, right, so

(48:29):
a lot of girlies was working out with him. He
started like with the outside workouts first and then he
eventually was in a gym working out highlow here in Charleston.
And he's been in jail right now since, Yeah, for
abusing my friends. Yes, and this imagine me right, you
know me right, So imagine you know the type of

(48:51):
shit I don't been through in relationships, But imagine me
right now with somebody who putting a hand on me. Yes,
he'd be like shocked. I was shocked that she was
experiencing that. And this is a self proclaimed good guy
when they first met. But how she explained it is that,
you know, his abuse started like small, gradually, like passionate

(49:15):
kissing while choking you in the wall, Right, I like them. Right.
You might think that's like you like it until it
comes with a punch next in the next couple of months, right,
So it just gradually escalates. They basically condition you for
the asshole. I like a little choke, but no ever
punch slowly happens. Yeah, I love a little choke. Okay,

(49:37):
I only like to get bullied in the bedroom. Now
you started bullying we in Walmart, in public, right in
the car. It's a problem, like we out at an
event or something like that, and you're trying to punk me.
Like I love a bedroom bully, but not nowhere else. Yes, yeah,

(50:00):
so yeah, he started off as a nice guy, nice kid.
You beat your ass up.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
And then nobody know, the world's still out here thinking
he a nice guy. Meanwhile he's abusive.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
Right, another one of my friends, I hope these bitches
don't listen. They're like this girl, nobody knows, y'all.

Speaker 4 (50:22):
Like another one not like that, right, they know what
the hell I mean.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
But another one of my friends, her her guy always
compares himself as a problem X because he knows the
treatment that she received from him. Right, So it's almost like,
while lisain doing this to you, like like you're like
basically like your baby daddy ain't a ship just a

(50:50):
little bit better, this much better than him, So need
to be grateful. That's type shit. And you know what
I told her. I said, bitch, you can do as
But that's.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Why I tell y'all, never tell the current nigga that
the last nigga treated you bad. Always, yeah, always, because
you gonna have you set in the standard for how
this nigga think you should be treated, honestly.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
So, and it's I think it's it might just be subconscious.
I don't think that the next man intentionally does it,
but I do think it's like a subconscious thing where
she can take it. She don't been through the ship before.
And I know I'm an oversharer. We got a whole
podcast where we oversharing bullshit. So I know that I

(51:37):
have definitely spoken at nauseum with a new partner about
shit that I've been through with somebody else. And I
just feel like I want to be able to do that, right.
I don't want it held against me. I don't want
you to subconsciously be mistreating me because somebody else did it, right,
But you just you really just can't tell men everything

(51:58):
about you. That's just it. And if you're gonna tell
them anything, everything is positive. And your baby daddy's actually dead,
he does not live twenty No, don't say that a
one is better than a baby mama. And in these niggas, okay,
but then your kid got to seek like your kids

(52:19):
still gotta see his daddy, like her daddy. I'm saying,
if your kid ever sees the dad, why would you
say that I have a child for this man who
hasn't seen his son in five years? Why would you
tell a new man now his dad died.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
Girl, y'all, y'all listen to if y'all want to, because
officially this nigga might come around. And then now your boy,
your husband, new husband or boyfriend gonna be like you
told me, he was dead.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
By that time, his kid gonna have this man last
name who is that he faked his death, y'all go,
he faked.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
Don't be telling these lies. First of all, you have
to come up with all kind of aside lines to
keep up with that shit.

Speaker 1 (53:10):
No, don't do that. Yeah, like everything, you know, we
just didn't work out. He was a great guy, you know,
everything was good. It just didn't work out. This is
how you should actually tell the next or don't ever
tell somebody that you've just mistreated. I agree, made that
mistake for sure. Yeah. Entitlement disguise is kindness. They expect

(53:33):
return on emotional investment. Acts of service is super transactional.
So how does that work for Christmas? The good guys
probably expect you to spend the exact same amount of
money that he spent on you. At that point, we
might write our own fucking gifts. I agree.

Speaker 2 (53:54):
I mean I do think, like I don't mind tricking
off all my guys, but I just want you to
trick bigger, that's all.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
Damn. I know a lot of people in relationships will
have situations with nice guys. Like another one of my
friends had a baby with a very nice guy. The
whole community thinks he's a nice guy. But how he
mishandled her her pregnancy, all these things. He's not a
good person whatsoever. And everybody thinks he's a good guy.

(54:29):
You know what, I'm saying like you can't. You're not
gonna find only the people who have experienced him. I
think like maybe like his ex wife or something like that,
and then now my homegirl haven't had a child with him.
Those are probably the only people who have experienced him
in that way that will have a different story because
he's different people outside of relationships. He's different in a

(54:53):
public life.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Because many like you'll find like men who are like saying,
exceptional fathers, but just terrible partners. So they're like, oh,
he he's a good dad, he's a good guy, but
as a partner he's abusive.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
You know, yeah, that's not a good guy. You know
what I'm saying. I think that we oftentimes give people
passes based on shit. Maybe you did experience worse than
in other relationships, so now this person getting the past
because he's tiny bit better. These are still none of
these people are good people. I just feel like, like

(55:29):
you really you treat people how you want to be treated.
That the ship that women allow men to do, men
will never allow it to happen to them. Your ass
would be ic the first time they say the ship,
they don't fucking like or you do some sideway shit,
you cheat on them. I don't know. Bitches be having men,
that's stealing from them.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
Shit going on with your baby mama behind your bag and.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Right, yeah, you let you go on vacation with your
baby daddy. Nigga's not what.

Speaker 2 (56:04):
What it's right?

Speaker 1 (56:05):
That is unheard of. So why so now, that's how
you got to look at things right as a woman,
that's how you have to look at it. If if
this were you. I remember my ex, the one who
was in who did time, and he he had a
baby right out here, and I asked him. I was like,
so if I if I were to have a baby

(56:27):
and not with the guy, like, by the time you
come home, we're gonna so be together. That nigga straight
up told me no. Niggas said it was my choice
that I stayed with him. Absolutely right, You are absolutely right,
And from that point, the bitch got a ghost. I
was intentionally looking for a new relationship because what it's

(56:48):
the truth. Though, you know, you can't expect you exactly
out of somebody else. Everybody ain't going for it, so
why are you for it? That's why I heard it that.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
That's why I didn't take that ain't on the trip,
but I was sad the whole trip. Oh goodness, all right,
how do I identify a genuinely good man?

Speaker 1 (57:12):
All right?

Speaker 2 (57:13):
So actions not adjectives. He shows you his values consistently,
not just says them, because niggas will like say I'm
gonna do this, and I talk to the lady and
I'm chad like, and they'll just talk your head off
and say all the right things, but the action is
never alie mm hm hm.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
Next one is accountability is sexy. He apologizes with specificity. Whatsficity?
He apologizes with specificity and change. You know how I
always be saying I'm not into holding other people accountable, right,

(57:54):
everybody should hold themselves accountable. What I've realized lately is
that people think accountability is you agreeing with them, and
that's not what accountability is. Accountability is just literally having empathy,
right and seeing that person's point of view. Just because
I still disagree with you does not mean I'm not

(58:16):
taking I agree there.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
But if that you are in fact wrong and you apologize.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
For, that's subjective. You see what I'm saying, Like, what
if you feel wrong? That's subjective? So what you're apologizing
for is maybe how that person felt in that moment.
But is that a genuine apology? You know, I got
a problem with those type of apologies, and I don't
want those type apologies. You're like a nigga nobody ever got.

(58:46):
I want. I want both.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
I want you to apologize to me and then change
the behavior. You know, if you believe that what you
did was wrong, Because if you don't, then don't just
don't apologize all the hell. Don't tell me sorry for
something that you don't.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
Yeah, because some people can say sorry so easily because
they don't right though, they gonna do that same shit again.
So if you can easily tell me sorry, and I
know you gonna, I don't want to behavior some people
be like this, mag gonna take you sorry every time
you cheat? Sorry? How many times you're gonna bounce a pattern? Yeah,

(59:22):
now it's a pattern, and this is just what you do.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
Boundaries respected without attitude. That's a huge one for me.
I hate a nigga like, Damn, I'm gonna get to
the flowers. Nobody wants a Damn I'm gonna get you
the flowers.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Ask nigga. Yeah, I'm not talking no more. If I
get a response like that about anything I'm asking about,
because when somebody asks me for something, I do it immediately.
So if I if I got to ask a partner
in more than one time and do some shit, that
shit overweight because it's already hard for me to ask
the motherfucker to do some shit. And if I actually

(59:59):
must up the strength to ask you to do some shit,
you acting like I'm annoying you. Guys, can't cut the fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
What about integrity in the dark? Quiet character over loud
claims same thing as like a nigga doing what he
said he gonna do instead of just talking, you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Know, integrity in the dark. I don't get that one.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
Like he being the same person that he says out
loud when nobody can see it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Uh, okay, yeah I get it now. No pr campaign,
actual good dudes are usually too busy being decent to
advertise it. That's facts. Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:00:59):
So that goes to Yeah, like when I see people
doing a lot of chitable things, sometimes sometimes I be
feeling like is it because you really like care about
these things? Or sometimes it be feeling like.

Speaker 1 (01:01:17):
Yeah, pandering, attention seeking. M Yeah, it's a lot of characters,
I mean, especially with Instagram and stuff like that. Those
people's pages are geared towards that type of content. You
gotta know it's not genuine like every day this is
just that that's their niche, right, So if you got
a man that's saying y'all, y'all, if they pander into women,

(01:01:39):
like talking shit about other men, like that is their
niche on that page. If it's a woman talking shit
to other women, they're pandering to men. That's the niche.
These motherfuckers is not living these lives. Okay. You know
that one girl, I don't know her page. She talks
really really hard though, brown skinned girl, and she'd be
talking crazy to she'd be saying talking talk shit to

(01:02:00):
women basically, and like I guess putting men on point
about women. You know what I'm talking about. It's really
weird because the niggas be in the comments like yes,
sis tell him they just love and beating the woman up.
They just love it. Really weird. I don't even know that,

(01:02:22):
And I just feel like I just feel like men
know the niggas be talking about like you know some
of your homeboys is like this, Like one of my
one of my good friends, his cousin fucked around and
went to jail this past weekend on some DV shit, right,
And I'm always like, I don't like none of his friends.
I don't like none of your friends. I'll be telling

(01:02:43):
him those are not your fucking friends. And when a
woman tells you how, don't your friends believe them? Okay,
we just have insight, Like I remember one of the
niggas asked me essentially, let me not even go into
that shit on here, but those are not his fucking friends.
And this this, this guy, this cousin of his, I mean,
that's his family, so he can't. But aside from the cousin,

(01:03:05):
the other homeboys is whack as nitties too. I saw
that shit coming from in all a way that he'd
be and some DV shit at some point, I saw
it a lot of the in cells and niggas who
don't get the They be abusive, They be abusive, they
be mad, they be angry, angry sort dangerous. Yeah, I mean,

(01:03:28):
because I guess they got a butt lot of frustration.
You know. Yeah, they need to release. But you better
go pay for some coucie, get you a dollar or
something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:03:38):
All Right, here's some tips to protect yourself against the
self proclaimed good guy all right, believe behavior not branding, right,
because niggas will appear to be the good guy present
as the good guy.

Speaker 1 (01:03:57):
What is it though? Is it witchcraft? Is it witchcraft
that a man can be telling us one thing and
literally doing something else and we believe what he's saying.
He didn't start especially or I think I'm just the
benefit of a doubt queen, And I think I just

(01:04:17):
understand humans so much. Just like how I fuck with
people is I will see how you are and decide
if that's what I want to fuck with or not.
So if you liar, a cheater, a thief or whatever,
I for what a reason, I do things to me
at some point, so I just then that's where that
person is. As long as I know who you are,

(01:04:38):
I could fuck with you. It's when you start doing
the shit to me. I got a problem with it, okay,
But I got a high tolerance for bullshit too. Like
I'll just let shit go on and fester until I
just wake up one day and be like, I'm not
fucking with it. Funk around your some shrooms and do
some introspective work over the weekend.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
Is over, I'll be letting the fun outweigh like be like, oh,
I having so much fun, you know, I really I'm
enjoying this nigga so much that I be ignoring the
red flag until until I wake up one day and
I'll be a cold, like straight cold on the nigga
and they like don't even see it coming, because I'll

(01:05:17):
go from sweetest pie to how do you?

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
I blocked you?

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
Why are you calling me from your mama's phone?

Speaker 1 (01:05:24):
Like right, I don't get this one. Don't confuse consistency
with convenience. So someone being consistent, I'm trying to see
the correlation.

Speaker 2 (01:05:40):
Oh, Like, basically you might see him, he's always around,
he's making himself available, but only because it's convenient. It's
not it is consistent, but only because you are of
convenience to him. So you have to make sure like
this person is being consistent because they are being intentional

(01:06:03):
or because it's easy.

Speaker 1 (01:06:07):
As you're making it. Okay, So I have another friend
somebody to woul be family. I just keep saying friend,
But I'm like, dog, these niggas only coming through because
you got you got free pussy over there. If you
was charging over there, then niggas ain't coming through, so
put a price tag on it. If you already fucking

(01:06:27):
ain't you like sex that much, just put a price
on it. See if you can get a one foote.
Remember that that challenge online. Remember that challenge online. They
was challenging bitches to call the man that they having
sex with and see if you'll buy them a winter
coat and niggas.

Speaker 2 (01:06:41):
But you having sex with him? Man gonna freeze.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
Mm for the free Okay, you're giving that. I guess
good box handed it out. Girl through the web and
your i'm cad is listen here and that take me
through there? Because I am not with a nigga taking

(01:07:07):
me through shit.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
I think it's just sexually take me through there. I
thought that's what that man nothing.

Speaker 1 (01:07:14):
But that's see. The sex is how you get wrapped
up in going through ship. The sex is how it
fucking how you just randomly just.

Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
That's how you end up in New Orleans with a
nigga local cigarette.

Speaker 1 (01:07:29):
Oh tweet ass smoking cigarette?

Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
Hair'll our hair stank. It. Don't owe a man of
relationship because he's not terrible? What what this nigga said?
A piece of man is better than no man at all.

Speaker 1 (01:07:51):
That's a lie because he's not terrible. I don't know,
because that's that sounds like settling, right, Like he's just
better than the last You really don't like him like that,
you're still settling. I think women sat in a settle often.
That's another episode I've been wanting to do versus.

Speaker 2 (01:08:11):
But you know, like so, I think you do have
to compromise some things. Nobody's gonna come perfect, right, you
just gotta figure out what that's a good topic we
can talk about that, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:24):
Yeah, if he repeats I'm a good guy, ask that's
a good one because you know, the relationships I've been in,
I realized when the nigga really like this is me
figuratively putting my coat on and putting my shoes on
and getting the fuck up out of there. Once they
realize like I'm really readying to end the relationship, they

(01:08:46):
start being good guys. I mean, I'm getting all all
you can, all you want, head, all the shit is
going on, right, But I'm like, you're changing not for me,
You're changing for the next woman. You know.

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
That's a good one because I remember this was years ago.
I was dealing with this guy. I was like crazy
about him. I was like, he's such a good guy.
He's so good to his mother. He's such a good grandson.
He goes and does all this thing, and he's a
good dad. He's such a good guy. But he was
good to all those people, but he wasn't good to me.

(01:09:18):
You know, he was like I just saw how he
treated all the people he loved in his life. I mean,
he wasn't bad. I won't make it seem like he
was bad to me because he was good financially to me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:28):
But that was it. I know a guy who is
community dick. And when I tell you, like girl, he's
opening the door for everybody. He's painting all the checks
like he's but he's not committing. He's gonna try to
smash it all. Also, he is not committing, but.

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
He honest, because if he's honest, he is.

Speaker 1 (01:09:55):
So one day we had this conversation. Right, because his
dad has been married a lot of times. His daddy
never married his mom though, Right, his dad has been
married to four different women, never actually married his mom. Right,
So his dad is also a womanizer. So you get married,

(01:10:15):
but you also cheat on every wife you have, right,
I think in his mind if he never commits and
if he's one hundred percent honest with women, right, he
doesn't ever want to get married. He said he doesn't
want any kids, but he gonna fuck the shit out
there raw. Okay, he thinks he's better than his dad.
I believe subconscious he never said that, but I think

(01:10:36):
subconsciously he thinks he's better than his dad because he's
not getting into relationships with women. But sex is a relationship, ah,
especially having sex without a condom.

Speaker 2 (01:10:48):
Why do you want to have fuck people raw and
don't want no relationship with them? It's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:10:55):
And because that's how women go crazy? Right, women ain't
really studying the condem dick. You don't agree with that
because you we used condoms all the time. But listen,
no harm, no foul, some rubber between us. It didn't happen. Actually,
I like I just sleep better at night with rubber.
So y'all you know how you avoid the self proclaimed

(01:11:17):
good guy, good man? It all starts with you, actually, right,
self awareness? Okay, know your boundaries, stick to them, trust
your intuition. Right, it will throw intuition at the window.
Have your ass confused. You know what time it is?

(01:11:37):
If you got a little ich about a nigga, you're
probably onto something.

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
And use condos. I'm gonna advocate for that every time
because you you, I don't be telling people not to, yeah,
but not no more.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
You don't tell them not to. But I be talking
about my like, why don't talk about yours?

Speaker 5 (01:12:01):
You might not be as lucky because you're living no
like I've been outside like that. Now I'm just saying like,
usually those are people I end up in relationships with oftimes.

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
That's why the relationship starts. Because if you smash me raw,
you mind? What are we talking about? Y'all been looking
at me? I'm dead at all you you mind? So fasically,
what you're trying to say is out that smash community
d raw.

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
I ain't saying you smash community d raw. But you
have had some niggas that were your nigga. Okay, but.

Speaker 1 (01:12:52):
I had a nigga wind but my nigga in a
long time talking a lot of my twenties. Bitch, that
shouldn't even count. First, they don't count. Who else, Chelsea Booze,
that was my fucking nigga. He just didn't want to.

(01:13:12):
That type of ship don't count like situationships. Of course
you smash and raw situations. That's how your ass got
into that situation. That is how you got in a situationship.
Shit got lies, got blurred when you let him hit
that pussy raw. Okay, And he's he in his nasty
ass mind. He's not in a relationship, right, But like

(01:13:35):
I said, you hit this kouchie raw? You my boyfriend?
What were we talking about? We actually married per the Bible.
Let's go head out, let's get go on here out
all right, y'all, maya minda mind okay, And.

Speaker 2 (01:13:58):
When a guy tells you he he's a nice guy,
keep your eyes on.

Speaker 1 (01:14:03):
Watch that nigga. Yeah, I'm just a nice guy. Okay.
Put him on that rewards program. Remember we we came
with that rewards program. That one. You gotta put him
on a loyalty program. Talius points up tally that nigga
points up and see if he's actually a good guy period.

(01:14:25):
All right, y'all, y'all enjoyed this episode. Y'all tune in
every Thursday on the black Heart. The black Heart.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
That's what I might have next year if these niggas
don't start acting.

Speaker 1 (01:14:32):
Right, y'all tune every Thursday and the Black Black Black Effect,
iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts at Okay
figure out aj Holiday two point on Instagram's.

Speaker 2 (01:14:49):
Kick it tand y'all It's Official Tambama on Instagram.

Speaker 1 (01:14:52):
I love y'all.

Speaker 2 (01:14:53):
Y'all follow our podcast page. We talk about podcasts and
don't forget to send us your dumb bitch stories. I
always a appreciate singing and reading them and sharing with
you our experience and then sharing it with the show.
So y'all keep sending us that. Y'all remember, speak now

(01:15:15):
I don't know and never hold your.

Speaker 1 (01:15:19):
Head. Yeah, I don't know this time. Shit. Just don't
fuku with these nice guys. They fake. We Talk Back
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