Weirdhouse Cinema: Uninvited (1988)

In this special CAT WEEK episode of Weirdhouse Cinema, Rob and Joe discuss the 1988 mutant housecat horror film "Uninvited," directed by B-cinema icon Greydon Clark and starring George Kennedy, Alex Cord, Clu Gulager, Toni Hudson and Eric Larson.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Stuff to Blow Your Mind, a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hey you welcome to Weird House Cinema. This is Rob Lamb.

Speaker 3 (00:16):
And this is Joe McCormick.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
And in this episode, our Cat Week festivities conclude. We're
following up core episodes of Stuff to Blow Your Mind
as well as a midweek Monster Fact that all revolved
around cats, and so we of course had to choose
a cat film for Weird House Cinema this week. We
ultimately had had quite a few to consider, like are

(00:40):
we going to go with cat as ally, cat as Enemy?
But we ultimately went with a B cinema favorite and
one that multiple listeners have recommended to us over the years,
the direct to video nineteen eighty eight or eighty seven
mutant cat sci fi thriller Uninvited. Not to be confused
with the many other films that are tiedled the Uninvited.

(01:01):
This is just uninvited.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
What is it that's uninvited? There are many things uninvited
in this film. There, I guess there's a cat that
was not invited. There are also lots of people who
were not invited, and none of the boyfriends were invited. Yeah,
and there is there's an extra thing inside the cat
that maybe you could interpret us the thing that's uninvited,
like one of the people at least wanted to invite

(01:23):
the cat but didn't realize it had a mutant thing
inside of it.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Yeah, but then again, all cats are uninvited. They invite themselves.
They're calling the shots here.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
Cats are not like vampires. They will not catch fire
coming into a house uninvited.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
You may invite them, but they may not accept it.
It's all up to them. So we selected this film
before we recorded our core stuff to blow your mind
episodes this week on the Folklora Cats of the British
Isles and the Cats of Cyprus, And I have to
say that I'm pleasantly surprised that this film managed to
line up at all with anything we talked about core episodes.

(02:00):
But you know, we have the idea here of a
cat is a kind of vengeful demon, and we have
cats on a boat. We spent the Cypress episode talking
a good bit about cats on boats.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
That's right, trying to imagine Stone Age farmers getting all
different kinds of animals on boats to take them across
the sea to Cypress, and one of those animals would
have been the cat. I guess maybe you know, despite
how difficult it is known to be to herd cats,
I'd imagine it's easier to herd cats than to herd foxes.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Now, now, don't be confused, though, this is not a
movie you're going to learn a lot from. Uninvited is
not a movie with lofty, dramatic or thematic ambitions. It
is a creature feature, first and foremost, and one that
subjectively misses the mark in several ways, while also succeeding
in being just an amazingly fun and weird ninety one

(02:52):
minutes of cinema.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
I don't know who would say this thing misses the mark.
I think this is this is like what creature features
were invented for was become this.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Well, when I say missed the mark, imagine that there's
there's like an archery target set up. Okay, the arrow
is is fired, and perhaps this arrow we can call
this arrow effective and horrifying creature design. Oh Okay, it
misses the entire target. But then it's a bullseye on
an adjacent target. Okay, and that's where we are, Like, Yeah,

(03:24):
the creature in this film is not the xenomorph from
Ridley Scott's Alien, I understand, but it is amazing in
its own right. I wouldn't change a thing about it.
It's it's it's a total gromblin picture like this. This
creature is on the same level as some of the
creatures from I don't Know, Goolies and so forth. It

(03:46):
has a triumph, the insult, comic dog, the energy to it.
So every time it's on screen, you're going to giggle,
You're going to laugh. And is that what the filmmakers intended?
Maybe not, but that is people loved. One of the
reasons people love this film.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
I think I am starting to get a feeling of
Graydon Clark's sensibilities, and I think this was maybe supposed
to be funny in the ways that it is. I
think the moist puppet that appears repeatedly is it just
seems impossible to me that Clark did not recognize that
he had struck gold here with the potential comedic value.

(04:27):
But that does bring up something I wanted to get
into at the beginning. Uninvited is often described as a
killer cat movie, but I have to flag that the
actual creature that kills people is not the fluffy, cute
kitty cat that we see in most shots. You know,
so there is a cute kitty cat in the movie.

(04:48):
You know that people pet and hold and it runs
around and stuff, beautiful tabby cat. Yes, whenever it is
time for the beast to vomit death upon humankind, what
happened is that this cute kitty cat, the external cat,
opens its mouth and then we cut to an effect
shot where a wet, screaming secondary animal emerges from inside

(05:12):
the cat mouth. And this interior beast is represented by
a puppet that looks like a cross between a damp
weasel and pumpkinhead. And it is this creature that leaps
out and bites and scratches and kills and deposits poison
on the humans. So what is this beast inside the

(05:34):
cute cat? Is it also a cat? And I was
also wondering how does it turn back into the cute
fluffy cat after each attack is finished? Does it climb
back into the mouth? It does?

Speaker 2 (05:46):
There is you might have missed it, but there is
one scene where we see it beginning to crawl back in.

Speaker 3 (05:51):
Oh, okay, I'm just forgotten that. Yeah, So I was
wondering though, are the interior beast and the exterior beast, like,
are they necessarily attached or can they fully separate? And
if they separate, can they both be independently alive? Or
can the exterior cat not live without the interior cat
or the interior whatever it is?

Speaker 2 (06:13):
These are questions we cannot fully answer. Yeah, the outer
shell cat of cat thing seems to be dormant while
it is killing and rampaging, and then it crawled into
it like it's a cat suit, but dey sock just
sitting there. Yeah, but yeah, is that part of the cat.
Is it a host for this parasite?

Speaker 3 (06:35):
We don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:36):
I mean, the only other major bit of evidence I
might turn to is the ending to the picture or
the ending to the main cut of the picture, But
we'll have to come back to that one.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
So I want to mention I found online the Dutch
VHS cover which has a couple of good taglines, one
especially good one. I don't know if these would have
appeared on other national packaging as well, but at least
on this box. It has one tagline, which is cats
have nine lives, you only have one. Nice ends with

(07:06):
the ellipses and then exclamation one of the most cryptic
punctuation combinations. Then the other tagline, not quite as good,
is they paid for the holiday of a lifetime with
their lives.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Hmmm, that's rather inaccurate. I don't think anybody's paying for
a holiday of a lifetime in this No.

Speaker 3 (07:26):
No, well, I mean I think that the Yeah, the
spring Breaker characters are initially looking for a good time,
but they it quickly goes off the rails. Like It's
not like one of these movies where everybody's just They
still think they're partying until Jason. The moment Jason shows
up and wax him with an axe.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, this is not the cat thing meets love boat,
as we'll get into when we discuss the plot.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
Though there is some Jason similarity. Like I was thinking
about how the cat often attacks and punishes people right
after they have sinned or done wrong. It does sort
of follow some slasher movie logic there where with the
cat as moral executioner. Not in every single case. Sometimes
some rather innocent people catch it, but it's mostly you

(08:14):
do evil and then the cat kills you, right, and
the cat is the judge. Okay, so my elevator pitch
for Uninvited is Garfield meets basket Case versus Gordon Gecko
all wrapped up in some Jason takes Manhattan.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yep, that sounds accurate. Yeah, all right, Well, let's listen
to just a little bit of one of the trailers
for this picture, because there's, as you might expect, there's
gonna be a lot of screaming and cat gowling, and
we can only take so much of that. But just
a little taste here.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
They say cats have nine lives, you have only one.
A poisonous can. Now, how is that possible? Thing's gonna

(09:13):
invite us? And we're gonna dialogue.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Uninvited, starring George Kennedy and Alex Cord.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
You'll never look at a cant in the same way again,
all right.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
So if you want to watch Uninvited for yourself again,
that's Uninvited from nineteen eighty seven or nineteen eighty eight,
depending on who's classifying it. Well, you can stream this
one in a number of places. But the vinegar syndrome
blu ray that we mentioned already is the ideal physical
media choice for this picture. The footage is scanned and
restored in four K from its thirty five millimeters original

(09:53):
camera negative, and it features a nice smattering of extras,
including the ninety three minute alternate internation rational edit, which
is quite hard to find elsewhere. I wasn't able to
find it streaming anywhere, and so forth. It features an
alternate intro and outro, as well as the horrendous uninvited
theme song by Chili Charles and Tom.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
Gunn oh Man. It's so funny, absolutely terrible.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
This is one of those cases where it's like, yes,
you were right to cut this theme song for the
American audience.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
It sounds like the theme music to a one season
running sitcom from the eighties.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yes, it's terrible, like kat Thing was going to have
his own his or her own TV show.

Speaker 3 (10:33):
Yeah boom, but doo do do so?

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, this is a great disc. I like yourself many
years ago, rented this from Video Drome, the video rental
store here in Atlanta, and you know, as I was
returning it just yesterday, I ran into a couple of
listeners and had a delightful little conversation. They were from
out of town. I'm not going to name them here
because I didn't clear that with them when I was
chatting with them, but it was nice to run into
a couple of listeners at Video Drome. We've heard from

(10:59):
a few different listeners from out of town who while
visiting Atlanta have made the journey, the pilgrimage to the Drum.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
That's a beautiful thing.

Speaker 2 (11:08):
Yeah, so there's a non zero chance you'll run into
me there, but you know, don't count on it. You
might catch me. All right, Let's talk about the people
behind this film, starting with the director, the writer, and
one of the producers. It's great And Clark. Sometimes I

(11:30):
have pronounced his name Grayton Clark, and I think that's
because he frequently casts Jodn Baker, and so I kind
of I kind of take the Jodon energy and create
the great On So I may refer to him as
great On Clark at some point here as well.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
I think I hear it with the cadence of Raydon Chong.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yes, yes, that too is probably influencing it.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
So.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
Grayton Clark was born in nineteen forty three American director
and writer that you might remember from past Weird House
Cinema episodes because we've covered two of his pick before,
both from nineteen eighty Without Warning, which was our first
episode of Weird House Cinema. And then we subsequently talked
subsequently talked about the return, so we talked about a
Graydon Clark proto Predator film as well as a cattle

(12:13):
mutilation thriller.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
I think both of those movies have some ironic sensibility,
but they were both more straightforward attempts at horror than Uninvited.
I think Uninvited is he's cutting loose a little bit
more than in the other two.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Yeah, and I think it may be attempting to check
off some extra boxes, especially for international distribution, Like this
one has a certain certain amount of, I would say,
especially in the US cut kind of a PG sexploitation
quality to it, but in a weird way, like it
was like it was written and conceived for the most

(12:51):
part by like a twelve year old, a.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Lot of bathing suit antics.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, bathing suit antics, and like, yeah, well we'll get
into it. But it has this kind of weird PG
quality that I really like. I mean, yeah, it's seen
plenty of exploitation films that are a whole lot sleazier,
and it's nice to encounter one that has pulled back somewhat.
So Graydon's Clark. Other film credits included let's se a
pair of black exploitation films. Seventy three's Tom and seventy

(13:18):
six is Black Shampoo, some horror comedy. There's seventy seven
Satan's Cheerleaders, and not one but two films featured on
Mystery Science Theater three thousand, seventy nine's Angels Brigade and
the nineteen eighty four jo Don Baker international cop film
Final Justice.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
I had forgotten that Graydon Clark did Final Justice, especially
since we just recently rewatched the Mystery Science Theater of
this one man. Final Justice is so much it is
not anywhere near as fun of a movie as the
three Graydon Clark movies we've done on Weird House. It
is a step or two below.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
There's no speciative elopment to that one. As I recall,
it's just an international cop film starring.

Speaker 3 (14:00):
It's just Jodn Baker running around Malta in a sheriff
suit that almost looks like one of those old Nashville
country music kind of outfits. Yeah, and just shooting bad guys.
And I remember he gets into prison like twelve times
in the movie. Yeah, that one.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
And there's as I remember, the main thing I remember
from Final Justice, of course, is there's this great shot
like through Jodan's arm, Like you're behind him and he
has his hands on his hips and we're shooting through
the gap between his arm and his side. It's ridiculous. Yeah,
it's a little thing sometimes.

Speaker 3 (14:35):
Unfortunately I had to remember it's not from Final Justice.
It's from Mitchell that has that great rift in the
in the mst where he's like digging around in the
shower in his apartment and there they go, what does
this thing do?

Speaker 2 (14:49):
Jodn rest in Peace, Yeah, recently passed, but yeah, he was.
He was always a fun screen presence. All right, Let's
see other films worth noting from from Graydon Clark. He
did a couple of films that were made in post
Soviet Russia ninety two's Dance Macabre and ninety three's Russian Holiday,
nineteen eighty three video game sex comedy named title Joysticks,

(15:12):
a nineteen eighty nine skinhead movie, ninety four is Dark Future,
and his last film, Star Games. In nineteen eighty eight.
He worked with Joe Don Baker on three pictures, and
he did tend to gravitate toward using a fair number
of older established actors who were working in B cinema
at the time, something we definitely see in today's film
and in general worked with a lot of notable B

(15:33):
movie actors of the seventies and eighties, including Wingshauser, Jack Palance,
Robert England, and John Kerodin. Not everybody gets to work
with John Garritty.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Most to oh weird that John Kedyin wasn't in the
movie we watched today, since he is in.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Most films, he was shooting three other films at the
same time simultaneously. I say so great and Clark films
are generally not consider good movies by most people. Virtually
none of his films crack five stars are above out
of ten on Internet movie Database. Not that that means
anything really, but these are B movies, often with a
certain and exploitive air to them in one way or another,

(16:14):
but they often strike that perfect cheesy movie balance.

Speaker 3 (16:17):
You know.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's a film that's for the most part competently made
in involving talented professionals, but a film that also makes
wild swings and doesn't land every punch, or at least
not in the way they were intended, but still results
in a very watchable and entertaining ride.

Speaker 3 (16:33):
If I have a technical critique of Uninvited, the biggest
one is that too many shots are taking place outside
on a boat and it is so windy it is
hard to hear the dialogue.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, apparently this was a tough shoot because on one hand,
there it's like NonStop cats. So they had a number
of cats playing the one cat in the picture and cats.
If you've ever if you know anything about animals and film,
you know that cats are notoriously difficult to shoot. Everyone
generally is like, yes, bring me a dog.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
Any day.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
A dog will hit its mark and do what you
want it to do.

Speaker 3 (17:11):
You know. Horses are also a known commodity.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
Cats you can try, you can see what you can
get out of them, but it's a wilder element, you know,
like cats. With cats, it's like working with you know,
I don't know one of the more difficult actors and
out there, I didn't even know if there's a proper analogy,
like it's cats. Not only your cat's going to do
their own thing, but cats often look like they are

(17:35):
doing their own thing in movies, even like a really
you can think of like really good movies that have
cats in them and the scenes in which you see
the cats or that lean to heavily on cats doing stuff.
It almost kind of throws you out of the picture
a little bit sometimes because like you can just look
at that cat and you're like, yeah, that cat is
just checked out. That cat's doing its own thing. It

(17:56):
is not in the moment, it's not in the scene.
It didn't even read the script.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
I wonder if longtime directors could do a comparison, like
what is more difficult cat versus the most notoriously difficult
actor is like Lawrence Tierney or something like that. You
know which one is more stressful on set? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
There's probably some crossover there in the experiences.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
The other difficult thing about the film thost Courses. Most
of it is shot on a boat. And I didn't
even think about this, but this is something the cinematographer
pointed out in one of the Vinegar Syndrome extras. Like
that meant that when they're out on the boat, they
only have so much power, and that limits how much
lighting they can use. Yeah, and cats don't necessarily like
being on a boat either, so that also constrains their performance.

(18:41):
But cats, they was a this was a decision by
grade and to have cats in this picture. Apparently he
was thinking about it being rats, which that would have
been scary. That would have made for a ridiculous puppet
and rats on a boat, you know. That's that also
has a lot of a lot to back it up.
But they said, no, it's going to be cats. It's

(19:01):
going to be a killer mutant cat. Obvious John Carpenter's
the thing vibes to a certain extent here. Oh yeah,
but yeah, they went with the cat.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
Now this makes me wonder what was the thematic seed
of the film, Like, what is the core element that
they were trying to get down to. Is it boat?
Is it like this has to be a boat movie
and everything else was around that or was it obviously
you're saying it's not cat, but I guess it would
have been maybe a mutant creature from a lab. Is

(19:33):
that the core? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (19:34):
I think the core was we're going to shoot it
on a boat, and we need a mutant creature. We
want to hit that sci fi horror zone. Okay, and yeah,
everything else they just kind of figured out from there,
including you know, first finding the boat, then finding people
to wrangle the cats, and they did use them to understand,
like a proficional professional cat wranglers here, this is not
just getting me a boat, give me some cats. So

(19:55):
you know, supposedly everything here is above board. But again,
even cat pros are going to only get you so far.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
The exterior killer cat is very cute, and if they
were switching them out with lookalikes, I couldn't tell. It
always looked like the same cat to me.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
I want to mention really quickly that the individuals involved
with the puppet cats that we see it's it's Jim
Bolden born fifty six and Debbie Bolden.

Speaker 3 (20:25):
And these two.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Did like animal artificial animal effects on a number of
other films, including Loaded Weapon one from ninety three, Aceventurro
When Nature Calls from ninety five, and a ninety one
White Fang film.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
So did they do the rhinoceros that gives birth to
Jim Carrey one hopes?

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yeah, yeah, they were animal makers inc. I don't know
if they're still around, but they were active for a
little bit there in the late eighties and into the
mid nineties. All right, let's get into the human actors
a bit here. So I want to divide things up
into factions here, Okay, because essentially we have two main
factions and then an individual suspended between the two. We

(21:04):
have our corporate creepers, and then we also have our
spring Breakers.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
That is pretty much it. You've got your I guess
the Springburger is supposed to be like early twenties. I
think a couple of them mentioned being in graduate school,
so like grad students and adjacent friends who are just
looking to party, looking to go to the beach and
have a good time. And then yeah, you've got these
Gordon Gecko types who are out there just trying to

(21:28):
run some greasy deals and get away to the Cayman
Islands with the suitcases full of cash. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
And the leader of this faction is wall Street Walter Graham.
This is our sleazy, yacht owning, womanizing, money laundering employee, abusing,
charismatic millionaire dirt bag. Compare him to any contemporary figures
you like. And he is played here by Alex Kord,
who lived nineteen thirty three through twenty twenty one, probably

(21:56):
best remembered by many for his main cast role on
TV's Airwolf from eighty five through eighty six, but it's
credits go back to nineteen sixty one, did a lot
of TV, including episodes of Night Gallery, Mission Impossible, and Murder.

Speaker 3 (22:08):
She wrote.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
His film credits include sixty nine Stiletto, seventy two Is
the Dead Or Alive, eighty one's Goliatha Waits, eighty four's
Jungle Warriors with John Vernon and Sybil Danning, and ninety
five's Hologram Man.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
I have several thoughts about, well, all of the corporate characters,
but especially Wall Street. Walter Graham here is the big
boss of the corporate schemers, and he he has a
great look. For one thing, he has this just really
iconic mustache. Yes, But another thing I was thinking about
Robert I holed up a picture for you to look

(22:41):
at here. So this is supposed to be set on
a yacht in the Caribbean. Yeah right, it's in the
you know, it's in the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean,
and so you and it's supposed to be warm outside.
But our corporate characters, this guy dresses in like a
wool sweat on his yacht. Are you seeing this?

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Yep, yep, yep, He's wearing a sweater. George gets kind
of windy at night.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
I guess so George Kennedy, who will get to in
a minute. He wears a suit jacket like the whole time.
Everybody else is just wearing bathing suits. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yeah, it's just it's he it's what he's comfortable in.
I don't know, Okay, Yeah, maybe he's cold blooded, you know,
he's the whole cold bloody Wall Street type.

Speaker 3 (23:22):
Yes, he is reptilian.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
Well I think a cord. Yeah, just completely nails it here.
He's believably charismatic and sleeezy. It's a fun performance. And
you can't wait for this guy to get killed by
the cat thing. Yeah, and they save that for toward
the end. Yeah, it's good, all right.

Speaker 3 (23:39):
Now.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
His right hand man and muscle is Mike Harvey, and
he is played by the legendary George Kennedy, who lived
nineteen twenty five through twenty sixteen. George Kennedy, of course,
won the nineteen sixty eight Best Supporting Actor Oscar for
his role in Cool Hand Luke memorable performance there. His
TV credits go back to fifty six and he did

(24:00):
a lot of it, including seventy five episodes of Dallas.

Speaker 3 (24:03):
Movie Wise.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Many of you might remember him from nineteen eighty eight's
The Naked Gun and its sequel, but he appeared in
all manner of projects big and small, prestige and schlock. So,
for instance, you'll find him in sixty three Charade, sixty
five's The Sons of Katie Elder, sixty seven's The Dirty Dozen,
seventy five is The Eiger Sanction, and eighty one's Modern Romance.
But he's also in the Likes of eighty ones, Just

(24:24):
Before Dawn, eighty seven's Creep Show, two eighty eight's Demon Warp,
and just in multiple disaster films, especially from like the
seventies and maybe the early eighties. Always a fun screen presence,
he tended to play like blunt, straightforward characters, but could
go like tough guy with a heart of gold like
in Cool Hand Luke, or like a solid heavy villain

(24:47):
role as in this film This one.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
I was a little confused about what his power level
relationship is to Wall Street Walter Graham. There's another guy
we'll get to in a second who's definitely a henchman
like Albert, who we're about to talk about, is definitely
Graham's henchman. Can't quite tell with the Mike character here.

Speaker 2 (25:06):
Yeah, because at times he's speaking to Wall Street Walter
Graham almost like they're equal, like their partners, you know,
bossing him a little bit and reminding him about what's important.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
Yeah. So yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
Hand man or partner. I think you could maybe push
it in either direction.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
There's a good scene where he it doesn't quite get
fully bitten off, but it looks like for a second
his leg is getting bitten off by a cat.

Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yes, yeah, he gets he gets a pretty early attack,
all right. And then yeah, Albert, this other character, who,
as you said, is definitely a hinchman of some sort.
I thought maybe he was like a money man, like
he's something. Maybe it's the glasses through me.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Yeah, it's weird, strange character. So this is Albert, played
by klu Gooliger who lived nineteen twenty eight to twenty
twenty two. I love klue Gooliger and a lot of stuff.
He's the boss of the warehouse in Return of the
Living Dead. Yeah, if you remember that, he's got a
funny role where he gets called in by his employees
because oops, they accidentally got a zombie in the warehouse.

(26:07):
And you know, there's one scene where he's having him
open the door. He's like, you open the door, I'm
gonna go stand back over here. But in this movie,
it's an unusual kind of role because he is a hinchman.
That is his role in the plot. He's like the
button Man, but he is Wall Street Walter's weird, neurotic

(26:28):
button man. He's like a cross between Gary Busey and
Lethal Weapon and George Costanza.

Speaker 2 (26:35):
That's a good point. Yeah, Yeah, there's some definite comic
wrinkles to this character. So Klute Gooliger lived nineteen twenty
eight through twenty twenty two, and his career can essentially
be divided into two distinct phases. So his initial TV
heavy career this included a co starring role on as
Billy the Kid on The Tall Man from nineteen sixty

(26:56):
through sixty one opposite Barry Sullivan from Planet to the.

Speaker 3 (26:59):
Van Okay, one of the Spacemen.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Yeah, he did one hundred and four episodes of The
Virginian plus he did all sorts of other TV shows
during this time period. But then later in life he
essentially became a horror movie staple in his own right, actually,
beginning with seventy three's The Mystery in Drachioa's Castle, but
really kicking into high gear in eighty five with both
a Nightmare on Elm Street Part two and as you mentioned,

(27:24):
the Return of the Living Dead.

Speaker 3 (27:26):
In Nightmare on Elm Street Part two, he is either
the main character or the main character's friend's dad. I
think he's the main character's dad, And there's a funny scene,
if I'm remembering correctly, where he is attacked by a
possessed parakeet.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Oh wow, I don't often see that in these Nightmare
on Elm Street highlight videos that people put together online.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Not a lot of highlights come from part two. That's
not no, I don't know. I think that one has
been maybe assessed a little bit more favorably in recent years.
It does have a cool scene where Freddy like cuts
open his own scalp and peels it back to reveal
his brain.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Oh all right, Yeah, that's why I don't think I
ever saw that one. Yeah, I think I've mainly seen
the original from Wes Craven, parts of some of like
the Dream Warrior era films and What New night Okay,
maybe I've seen I've seen New Nightmare, and then I've
seen the remake.

Speaker 3 (28:22):
They did several years back. Nightmare two is has been
notable for a long time for having pretty overwhelming homo
erootic themes, which for a long time I think was
sort of treated in the fan community as more a
source of comedy because they were seen as unintentional, kind
of unintentional, almost taken as like a kind of Freudian
slip thing. But I think more recently it's been read

(28:46):
a different way that maybe like, oh, this is just
sort of like what the thematic content of the movie is,
and that's kind of.

Speaker 2 (28:51):
Interesting, interesting, Maybe I should check it out, all right,
So after a Return of the Living Dead, Gooliger here
and Let's see eighty six is Hunter's Blood eighty sevens
From a Whisper to a Scream, as well as The
Hidden eighty nine's Teen Vamp nineteen nineties, The Willies ninety
four's puppet Master five. His son, actor and director John Gouliger,

(29:14):
also cast him in his two thousand and five film Feast,
as well as its two sequels. He also pops up
in twenty twelve's Piranha three Double D. I did not
say this one and then A couple of his final
credits were kind of a return to non genre work.
He's in twenty sixteen's Blue Jay, written by and starring
Mark Deplau, as well as a cameo in twenty nineteen's

(29:36):
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Speaker 3 (29:38):
Oh, didn't catch him in the Tarantino movie I.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Helped, Yeah, he's I think it's just a very small
role cameo. It was like in a bookstore or something.
I do not remember spotting him, but he was in there.

Speaker 3 (29:49):
Okay. So those are all the bad guys, all the
corporate creeps, but we also have a cast of more
likable characters, the characters of varying likability, the spring Breakers,
the twenties things that were just out looking to have
a good time. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
I'd say out of the spring Breakers, we ultimately only
have like one really likable character. Yeah, and that is
going to be Martin. Martin is a biology major or
I forget where he is in his schooling, but he
is a future biologist.

Speaker 3 (30:17):
They say he's a grad student.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
Yeah, Okay, he's a grad student. Played by Eric Larson
born in nineteen sixty seven, an American actor who also
appeared in the nineteen ninety film Demon Wind and pops
up in one episode of TV's Angel.

Speaker 3 (30:29):
At first, the main characters of this movie are some
of the last characters introduced. Did you notice that? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Yeah, because initially we meet Bobby and Suzanne, who are
a couple of really almost interchangeable spring breakers who are
wearing just like what just like basically just their swimsuits
and parts of an airbrush T shirt like they are
spring spring spring breaking. They are spring breaking hard here.

Speaker 3 (30:54):
Yes, they're in I think the starts in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
They say they're in fl to look into party and
they are the ones who initially make contact with wall
Street Walter Graham and are invited aboard his yacht to
party some more, and that's how the whole thing gets going.
But then they also end up meeting some random spring

(31:15):
breakers grad student dudes on a like in a marina somewhere,
and then they're like, hey, come on this boat with us.
And obviously Wall Street Walter does not want all these.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
Dudes, right, but he also for plot reasons, is like, Okay,
all your brand new boyfriends can come aboard my sex
shot as well. So Bobby and Suzanne here. Bobby is
the curly blonde spring breaker and she is played by
Claire Carey born sixty seven. Her first TV and film
credit was eighty seven's Zombie High, and in nineteen eighty

(31:47):
eight she appeared in both this and the horror movie Waxwork.
She pops up as a skater in two thousand and
one's Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. Remained active in TV
through at least twenty nineteen, and then Suzanne, the straight haired,
blonde spring Breaker is played by Sherry Shattuck born nineteen sixty,
Atlanta born actress whose other credits include eighty eight Death

(32:08):
Spa and Desert Warrior, as well as nineteen eighty nine's Arena,
which we've previously covered on the show.

Speaker 3 (32:13):
That sort of arena was sort of a creature effects showcase.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, creature effects like boxing movie. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, it
was a lot of fun.

Speaker 3 (32:23):
Let's see.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
She's also in ninety four, is on Deadly Ground, and
did one hundred and forty six episodes of The Young
and the Restless from ninety six through ninety nine.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
All Right, so they initially are going to go on
the OD, but then they also find some some cool
boys to bring with.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
Them, right, and that includes Martin, who we already mentioned,
but it also includes Lance. Lance is the wrestler. That's
his whole thing is he's a little beefier than the
other two, you know, has like a lower center of
gravity and is there to grapple. He is played by
Bo Dremmond born nineteen sixty three. His other credits include

(32:56):
eighty five's My Science Project and ninety one's for Linkenstein
The College Years, which I don't know much about, but
it looks oh, it looks horrendous. This is the jock
of the group. Yeah, yeah, he's the jock. And then
we also have the preppy. This is the character Corey,
played by Rob Estes. Corey is a huge Walter Graham family.

(33:17):
He knows who this guy is. He's like, Oh, I
can't believe we're about to meet Wall Street Walter Graham.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
He says he's been on the cover of Forbes magazine
twice twice. Wow.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
So yeah, Corey here is one of the least likable
of the bunch. But the actor who plays in Rob
Estas appeared on eighty nine episodes of Days of Our
Lives in eighty six and eighty seven prior to this film.
He went on to do one hundred episodes of Silk
Stalk Stalkings in the early nineties, ninety six episodes of
melrose Place in forty six episodes of nine oh two

(33:49):
one Oho, and has continued to work in TV and film.
It looks like he was nominated for a twenty ten
teen Choice Award. They apparently had a parental Unit Award
category for like mom and dad characters. He was nominated
alongside co star Lori Laughlin, didn't win. I don't know
whose parents beat beat beat beat them out that year.

(34:10):
I like the idea of this award though, best parents,
like the parents in movies don't don't get enough love.
This needs to be an oscar category as well.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
I think they should have an actor categories for best jock,
best biology, major, best best Preppy.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Yes, yeah, absolutely, this would be great. If slasher movies
were more in style, you could have you could have
the Slashies. Maybe there is is there an award called
the Slashies.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
If not, there should be. Yeah, oh, I see where
you could have like best nerd, best punk Rocker, best
best jock, yeah all that?

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Yeah, yeah, all right. So those are our two main factions,
and then we have a character that is kind of
suspended between the two because she's also young and so
she has a lot in common with the spring Breakers,
but she works for for wall Street Walter Graham because
she is the captain of the boat. And this is
Rachel played by Tony Hudson born nineteen sixty.

Speaker 3 (35:03):
Yeah, so this is the other main good character along
with Martin the biology guy. She's I would say the
movie actually does a pretty good job at making her
a sympathetic protagonist, especially since we meet her so late.
As I was saying earlier, like the characters that we
end up liking the most and are the survivors at
the end are the ones we meet last.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, the film is like, we have one more blonde
lady to introduce you to, and she's going to be
the main one. So you can get a little confusing.
Tony Hudson's credits include supporting roles in nineteen eighty four's
Places in the Heart, as well as leather Face, Texas
Chainsaw Massacre three. This is the one that featured Vigo
Mortensen as one of the Sawyer Klan.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Oh wow, okay, you know, I think I've never seen
that one.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
I have, but it has been it's been a long
time it was. I think this one was in many
ways kind of like a rehash of the first one,
kind of a a sort of a remake of the
original Texas Chainsaw Massacre with some you know, with some
updated vibes. And yeah, that about the only thing I
remember is Vigo popping up as a cannibal redneck.

Speaker 3 (36:13):
This character is another reason Uninvited reminds me of Jason
Takes Manhattan, because you may recall in Jason Takes Manhattan,
of course it's like it's a slasher movie on a boat,
but one of the main characters is the son of
a boat captain who is being like prepared to be
a boat captain himself. That's the same thing with Tony

(36:34):
Hudson's character here. She is the daughter of a boat
captain who has like inherited the family boat captain ship,
and she's you know, and like there's a lot of
drama about the fact that she's a boat captain and
wanting to be a boat captain on her own terms. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
So yeah, I would say this character is more fleshed
out than most of the others, and it's a decent performance.
I like Rachel in this picture. You're rooting for her, Yeah,
even though she is forced to make some ethical compromises
at top.

Speaker 3 (37:06):
Yeah, the multiple times they're like, yes, somebody did fall overboard,
but we can't go back and look for them. And
here are the reasons.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Yeah, all right, Two more credits I want to mention.
These are behind the scenes. Nicholas Joseph von Sternberg. It
was the cinematographer born nineteen fifty one, son of Silent
and Sound Era Academy Award nominated director Joseph von Sternberg.
He did thirty one's Morocco, in nineteen thirty two Shanghai Express,
those were the nominated pictures. So the son here, Nicholas

(37:36):
Joseph von Sternberg grew up in the filmmaking business, and
among his best mainstream films are probably Let's See Texasville
from nineteen ninety, directed by Peter Bogdanovich, and Crime and
Punishment from two thousand and two. This was one was
directed by Menahem Golan who directed The Apple. But it
had a great cast. They had like Vanessa Redgraves and
John Hurt and so forth. But Sternberg von Sternberg, the

(38:00):
the younger here, also worked on a load of B movies,
seventy five's Dolomite, seventy nine's Tourist Trap, Graydon Clark's Wacko
from eighty two Joysticks, eighty four's Jungle Warriors, Final Justice,
Dark Future, Star Games, and more, and then finally, the
score for this picture is by Dan Slider. Dates not
public record as far as I could tell. He also

(38:21):
scored eighty eight's Demonwarp, which also starred George Kennedy. This
was his first Grade and Clark picture, but he'd work
with him several more times, and even has a story
credit on ninety four's Dark Future.

Speaker 3 (38:32):
I think I have not seen Demon Warp, but have
been been circling it for a while. One night that'll happen.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
So the score here, I thought it was fun and effective.
The main thing that really struck me is they keep
using that labyrinth style synth cascade effect. We've talked about
this before, it's popped up in other pictures. Did we
ever determine what the name for this is?

Speaker 1 (38:56):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (38:56):
Were you talking about the whole tone scale? Yeah? Yeah,
I think that's it. Okay, that did come up, and
the listener contributed to our trying to find the name
for that but yes, where it's like it's not really
any actual key in music, so it produces this kind
of weird, ambiguous feeling.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah, I generally associate with any time Jarth is doing
something in Labyrinth, we get that effect, and anytime the
cat is doing anything suspicious in this picture, we also
get that effect.

Speaker 3 (39:35):
All right, you ready to look at the plot? Let's
do it. Well. You always want to begin a movie
with a strong image at the top to establish themes.
You know, what should people be thinking about? And here
they chose an office building? You know, there you go, Yeah,
a cat office building?

Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean this is the last movie
we discussed in Weird House Cinema also had an evil
in this office building, so you know it lets us
know that corporations are up to no good right off
the bat.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
Oh well, I guess that's true. Yeah we have we
have a theme of business malfeasans. Sure. But so after this,
we go inside and there are a couple of doctors
examining an X ray. The bones in the image do
not look human, so maybe this is some kind of animal.
What animal could it be? And one of the doctors
says there is a mass growing inside the subject maybe

(40:28):
a tumor maybe a teratoma. The other the other doctor
seems perplexed. He says he's never seen anything like this,
and he's like, well, we got to just bring the
subject in. We'll cut it open and we'll see what's
what's growing in there. And I was looking at this doctor.
I was like, is this Gradon Clark.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
It totally is Gradon Clark. Yeah, okay, yeah, he's now.
He's only present in the intro for the US cut
of the film. The international cut has a shortened intro
where we don't we don't get this particular scene, but
in the international version of the film, he does factor
in to the outro, presumably playing a different character.

Speaker 3 (41:03):
So we see a guy in a lab coat go
into a room full of cages and retrieve a cat
from one of the cages and bring it into an
operating room. Do we need any description for our main
cat other than I think this is the variety we'd
call an orange tabby.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
Yeah, just an absolutely adorable orange tabby. I mean, I
believe multiple orange tabbies playing this one cat character, multiple
feline actors. Yeah, it is an orange tabby cat. Likely male.
I'm to understand most tabbies are male, though we used
to have a female one. Memes would have us know

(41:41):
that all male orange tabbies share a single brain cell,
and when it's not their turn to have the brain cell,
they do dumb things. I see, but beautiful cat, to
be sure on the outside. On the inside, as we're
going to see, there's something else going on.

Speaker 3 (41:57):
Right, So the doctors get out the hypodermic needle. Seems
like they're about to sedate the cat for surgery to
figure out what is that growing inside it. But suddenly
it just scampers off the edge of the operating table
and down the hall. There really were no precautions here,
and the guy's holding it and then it just runs away,
and they're like, oops.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
They've never done like. They didn't even have the door shut,
no doors open. Cat to the vat. They usually have
the door shut.

Speaker 3 (42:21):
Yes, so one of the doctors. But it then seemingly
disproportionate to the level of lack of care. We just saw.
One of the doctors sprints after it. The other one
gets on the phone. This is a great and Clark
he's on the phone going code red, code red.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
U.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
He calls it by like a serial number has just escaped,
and he's saying, use extreme caution radiation, security radiation. What.
So the cat runs down a bunch of metal stairs
in what looks like a cinderblock bunker, and we see
dudes in hazard suits chasing after it, the red lights flashing,
sirens going off, and what do you make of this

(43:01):
hazard suit? It looks I don't know, it looks like
a hood that's silvery, like a hood made out of
aluminum foil with eye holes and just like a big open,
frowning mouth hole.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
Yeah, it looks like it. We're it's kind of like
a saggy el santo. It's kind of the overall feel
that I get from this, but it's frightening, and the
shot we get it feels like it's the cat's point
of view, like this is a terrifying image this would bring.
It makes sense that this brings the monster out of
the cat.

Speaker 3 (43:33):
Right, So the hazarmat guy's corner the cat. One of
them shoots it with a dart gun, and then the
cat seems at first effectively sedated. It falls down and
it's like it's going to sleep. But then as the
handlers approach with a carrying case, the unconscious cat's mouth
opens and a weird, smaller, much moister cat like puppet

(43:55):
emerges from the bigger cat's mouth. And then you see
blood splatter on the wall, splatter across all of the
safety signs mounted on the cinder blocks. You hear screams,
and this is our first cat attack. Yep, yeah again.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
Kind of kind of looks like a newborn cat, kind
of like a hairball, kind of like a lion. Definitely
a gromlin. Yeah, it's it's a delightfully hideous looking puppet here.
And you know, maybe the hairball thing, maybe that's what
they were working on at this lab. They were trying
to genetically engineer a hairball free cat, and they created

(44:30):
a cat that has like a living hairball cat inside it.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Right, the hairball becomes its own organism.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, And I can't help but suspect maybe this was
subconsciously even a part of the monster's genesis and Grayton
Clark's imagination. Like cats are always grow always puking up
gross stuff, and so and so it's it's it's a
natural step to imagine them puking up some sort of
a killer cat.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
So anyway, the cat once again in fluffy mode. Once again,
qu scampers out into the parking garage, and here we
see the two doctors pursue it, and the security guard
also they run out there and they proceed with a
cat hunt among the cars while the cat scampers from
place to place.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
Yeah, and there's gonna be a lot of the cat
scampering from place to place in this film. Something one
of the things that I instantly loved about it because
here's the thing, like, if you've ever been around cats,
you know that they have different sorts of movements and
walks depending on what their aims are, you know, such
as the way they'll creep while hunting something. You only

(45:33):
ever see the cat move one way in this picture,
like clearly that's the only way that the trainers can
get the cat to go from point A to point
B for the shot.

Speaker 3 (45:42):
I think I think all shots are of the cat
scampering to an out of view food bowl. Yeah. Yeah.
There's also a good exchange where the other doctor says, doctor, oh, well,
the Graydon Clark doctor's name is doctor Gray. He says,
doctor Gray, you saw what just happened in that stairwell,

(46:02):
and doctor Gray is like, shut up, about that. Just
shut up about that. We've got to kill that cat.
So it's like they're trying to keep something secret here.
I think maybe they're doing some unethical experiments. Who knows.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah, by the way, Green and Clark pretty good here
in this little director's cameo. Oh yeah, he did other
acting roles, you know, outside of pictures that he directed,
so it makes sense. But yeah, I kind of liked
him here.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
We should sometime on the show do a list or
a ranking of our favor of our directors who make
the best director cameos. I, for one, really love when
David Cronenberg goes goes in front of the camera. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yeah, Cronenberg has had some really fun ones, including Jason
X where he is killed by Jason Boy.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
He's very good, but also is like the creepiest character
ever in Night Breed.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yeah, yeah, Night Breed. That's what we might come back to.
But but yeah, occasionally you'll get a you know a
lot of directors that have fun cameos.

Speaker 3 (46:58):
We're most recently talking about Corsese and oh, that's right.
In Dreams first I was Dreams. Yeah, have there, But anyway, so, yeah,
the doctors and the security guards are running around. The
Graydon Clark doctor yanks the security guard's gun out of
its whole story. He's like, give me that. He's just
taking charge. But these these slobs are no match for

(47:19):
cat thing. It picks them off one at a time,
and I was truly laughing out loud at just the
random meow sounds as they're running around in the parking garage.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Yeah, just a build tension.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
There's one cool shot when when it's attacking one of
them where we just see a shadow, a shadow of
like a cat head opening two wide, the mouth opening
too wide, and then the wet puppet wriggling out in silhouette.
But of it kills them all. It kills Greyton Clark
as well, and eventually the cat gets outside and it
runs out into the night. All right, So the next

(47:54):
thing is we're going to meet some of our main characters.
This time it is Bobby and Suzanne. These are are
like early twenties spring breakers in Florida looking for where
the party's at. They're here to have a good time,
but it seems like the problem is they don't have
any money and they don't have any hotel reservations. So
they're in town and they're just flying by the seat
of their bikinis trying to figure out what to do.

(48:16):
So they like go into a fancy hotel lobby to
hang out, and then the manager tries to kick them
out because they're not staying at the hotel. But here
in this fancy hotel, they happen to meet wall Street Walter,
the rich sleeze bag and I would say, the human
antagonist of the film, who offers to help them out.
Why don't they just go join him for dinner?

Speaker 2 (48:37):
And yeah, and again they are just dressed in skimpy
swimwear and shredded airbrush t shirts at this point, it's
not even clear from the context. No, they do have
some luggage. They do have some luggage. I have some bags.

Speaker 3 (48:50):
Yeah, But wall Street Walter tells them to leave the
bags in the lobby while they go go get dinner.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
Yeah, And I love that he invites them in to
just dine with him at this fancy hotel with them
just wearing their spring break get up, and you know,
walking past all the other swells.

Speaker 3 (49:08):
It just kind of like give him a little side
eye over this.

Speaker 2 (49:11):
So it's like he's a pig. Everyone knows he's a pig,
and he seems really comfortable in that. He's like, yeah,
I just grabbed a couple of young ladies, just you know, basic,
off the beach, and I'm going to dine with them here.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
But I also like the kind of mental shortcuts this
movie is making when it has characters arriving in town
for spring break and they're wearing bathing suits, like seemingly
for the travel to get there. It's not like they
would wear normal clothes to travel and then put on
the bathing suits when they go down to the beach.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Well, the spring break bus just lets you out directly
onto the beach, So you gotta be good. You gotta
be ready to go right right when it arrives.

Speaker 3 (49:50):
So let's see. The next scene is the part where
George Kennedy include Gooliger show up in a chauffeured car.
And then I had to put in a screen shop
for you to look at here, Rob, what is the
deal with the guy who opens the car door for
them at the hotel? I guess this is a footman
or a hotel worker of some companies, dressed like Midwest Dracula.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
Oh yeah, he's got the big top hat. I don't
know it definitely looked goofy. Though maybe it's accurate. Maybe
this is exactly what was going on at fancy hotels
in Florida at the time.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
Fort Lauderdale Hotel doormen like they wear a big red
k top hat. Yeah. Anyway, these characters here are Mike
and Albert. Mike and Albert head into the restaurant to
meet with wall Street Walter, and they are annoyed that
he is he is getting distracted from their important crime
business by trying to creep on these two women. So

(50:44):
Walter departs with his associates, but he invites Bobby and
Suzanne to join him on his yacht for a party
later on. So what's the business on the yacht? Well,
our crime fraud exception trio. Here they have to meet
with some other business guy to do some shady deals.
It's never really specified exactly what they're doing, just general,

(51:06):
you know, corrupt illegal business stuff.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Yeah, some sort of illegal money stuff.

Speaker 3 (51:10):
Yeah. The guy they meet with, he's more or less like, Hey,
i enjoy doing corrupt, illegal things with you, but now
I'm worried about the SEC And they don't like the
other guys don't like that this guy is worried about
the sec He's like, what if they send me to jail?
And the other guys are like, uh oh. So they
get suspicious of Frankie the squealer here, and they decide

(51:32):
that there's only one way to be sure that he
never squeals. They've got to shut him up for good.
And so Albert klu Goolger here he holds the squeally
guy down and drowns him in the hot tub on
the yacht.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Yeah, but I mean the thing that I was thinking
is like, they've got to use this hot tub later,
like having a party. I've never owned a hot tub,
but it's my understanding that they're a little bit sensitive
and you can set them off by doing normal things
that don't involve murdering people in them. So I don't know,
maybe they's some They have a really good handle on
the chemicals here.

Speaker 3 (52:03):
Also, after out he makes Albert murder this guy wall Street,
Walter is like, Albert, the party is in half an hour,
So after you've cleaned up this mess here, get everything ready,
will you? Like? Wow, I really hope Albert washes his
hands before he puts out the crew to tay. Yeah,
this is.

Speaker 2 (52:19):
Why you really need a larger criminal organization so that
you don't have goons that are having to do double
duty both cleaning up your murders and also putting out
your food.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
I was only hired to kill Frankie the Squealer. It
was not in the job description to put out party trays.
Oh somewhere in here, there's also a random scene just
where we got a check in with the cat. See
what the Cat's up to? So a guy robs a
gas station attendant who the gas station attendant was being
nice to the cat thing. It was the guy was

(52:50):
putting out a saucer of milk for cat thing. Cat
Thing was lapping it up. And while he's doing that,
some dude runs up and like beats him up and
steals from the gas station register and drives away in
a pickup truck, and cat Thing jumps into the truck
after the thief. It's like the vengeful pull of justice.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
Yes, yeah, yeah. At this point, really we have no
reason to be against cat Thing. He seems to be
following his own moral compass.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
So while the thieves are driving away, he's got an
accomplice too. The thieves are driving away, the cat Thing
pukes up itself and then attacks the driver through the
back windscreen, causing the truck to crash. And this was
a laugh out loud scene for me because of the
sound effects in the truck scene. They had one glass
breaking sound effect, you know, like a crash tinkle tinkle,

(53:39):
which they just played on a loop multiple times as
the cars the truck is rolling down a hill.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
Yeah, because otherwise it's very impressive looking wreck. Yeah, yeah,
roll this truck.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
So now we're going to have our spring Breakers combined.
We're getting to a scene that has some of the
funniest dialogue developments I think in the movie. So there's
like a scene at a restaurant patio overlooking a bunch
of docks with boats tied up, where we're going to
meet our boy spring Breakers. These are Lance and Corey,
and they're hanging out together edge a table. Cory is
of course reading the Wall Street Journal, and Corey says

(54:22):
Fort Lauderdale at spring Break, no place like it? Agree,
And Lance says, no contest, haha, and they high five.
They high five for that, and then Lance says, you know,
let's go down to the beach and check out the action.
But Corey says, my friend, the beach is for riff raff.
You want to find a classy chick, you go to
the marina. That's where the money is. Come on, everybody

(54:45):
knows that. And meanwhile, Bobby and Suzanne are wandering up.
I guess they already went to the yacht party the
night before, but we never see that.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
Yeah, scene missing on the party. We'll see the aftermath
of the party later, but the big it seems like
it just consisted of them going out drinking and dancing
while I guess Walter and maybe his men like watch.

Speaker 3 (55:08):
On unclear, Yeah, unclear. Yeah, So the ladies walk up
to the boy's table and they ask if they can
sit down, and the spring Breaker boys are thrilled, but
then uh oh, here comes the drag. Their friend Martin
comes to join the four of them, and Martin is
the biology major. He's like, hey, guys, yeah, I can't
find any place to stay. The whole town's booked. And

(55:28):
Corey's like, not now Hedgeworth. I guess that's Martin's last name,
not now Hedgeworth. We're busy. So his friends here think
this guy is a real loser, but why'd they go
with him?

Speaker 2 (55:38):
Yeah, this isn't one of those classic why are these
people friends?

Speaker 3 (55:41):
Moments? Yeah, yeah, exactly, the jock, the Wall Street journal guy,
and the biology major who only two of them seem
to like each other. Yeah, but anyway, after this, okay,
so literally, I've told you everything that has transpired between
these people, so I didn't eve anything out. Yea. So
the girls they sat down. The boys are like, hey,

(56:05):
this other guy is sitting with us. They have not
introduced themselves to each other, they've not traded names or
anything yet. Just the ladies arrive at the table, they
ask if they can sit down. They sit down, and
then Bobby says, last night we met this guy, Walter Graham.
He's got this great yacht. And then Corey says, wait
are you talking about Wall Street Walter? I mean, this

(56:27):
guy is the best arbitrageur in the world. I mean
he's made million He's made more millions than anybody. And
then Suzanne says, must be the same guy. You should
see his boat. Bobby says, well, anyway, we're supposed to
set sail this morning on a cruise for the Caribbean.
Be gone a couple of days, maybe more. Why don't
you guys come with us. They have not traded names yet.

(56:51):
They just they just sat down at the table.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
And they're just like, Hey, we're going out to sea
with this guy, who you know up clearly doesn't have
any ulterior motives, so come along with us. He'll surely
totally accept just three additional random dudes coming as well.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
Well. Suzanne introduces a logic here though. So clearly Bobby
and Suzanne are interested in this guy because he's rich,
he's got a yacht, he can take them on a vacation.
But they're also not sure about him, so they are
recruiting some help here from these guys. Suzanne says, you
can help us handle this guy if he gets out
of hand. But then I was like, but why would

(57:26):
they have any more reason to trust these guys than
Wall Street where they just met it. They just met them. Yeah,
but Bobby says, besides, I hear the Caribbean's perfect this
time of year for swimming in the raw, and she's
grabbing Lance's leg though she does not know his name
is Lance.

Speaker 2 (57:43):
I guess is that what they call it swimming in
the raw?

Speaker 3 (57:46):
I think that means skinny dipping. Yeah, so obviously Bobby
is interested in swimming in the raw with Lance and
he's like, oh yo, and Corey dreamily. You know, he's
got Wall Street journals in his eye and he goes,
I am really going to meet Walter Graham. So our
spring breakers make their way out to the yacht. On

(58:08):
the way, they hear some meowing coming from inside this
big storage bin on the docks. They go over and
open it up and there's the cat Yeah yeahs in
this box.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Yeah, we didn't get every leg of cat Thing's incredible journey,
but it managed to wind up here just as this
crew is about to board the yacht.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
Oh wait, but there is a thing I forgot to
mention from earlier when the cat was watching Wall Street
Walter's limo pull away from the hotel, almost like it
was scoping him out. M you remember that? Yeah? Yeah?
Why though? Yeah, it's well, so we've established that the
cat thing not always but usually attacks people who are sinful,

(58:50):
and so because Wall Street Walter is a particularly awful
and odious human being, maybe it's like drawn to him
like a magnet. So that's why it's watching his car
and also how it ends up on the dock beside
his yacht.

Speaker 2 (59:04):
Mm. Yeah, or maybe he knows even more, maybe he
knows that Wall Street Walter is a majority stakeholder in
the pharmaceutical corporation that created Cat Thing before.

Speaker 3 (59:15):
Wants to destroy him. That's a good theory.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
I'm basing it on absolutely nothing, but that's what I'm
pulling out here.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Well, wait a minute, this is a time for a
good sidebar. Actually, what do you think is the intelligence
level or sentience of the cat Thing? There are many
things it does throughout the movie that almost feel strategic,
but the way they're filmed, it never makes it really clear.
Like at one point, the cat Thing sabotages the boat engine,

(59:46):
but it makes it look like that could be an accident,
Like the boat just kind of it shakes because somebody
shakes the wheel, and then it kind of raw like
jumps out of the cat's mouth and scratches a wire,
and then the engine is sabotage, and there's other stuff
like that, but it's never quite clear.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
Well, my answer, which is also going to be a
little vague, is that it clearly has Grimlin level intelligence,
so it can do things that are smart and clever,
but it will also do things that are sneaky, even
if they're stupid. So it's just it's just straight up
Grimlin level intelligence, like standard Grimlin, not brainy Grimlin from

(01:00:25):
Grimlin's too, but just like standard Grimlin intelligence.

Speaker 3 (01:00:28):
Maybe this actually comes back to they all share one
brain cell between them, and then the cat thing is
in possession of the of the universal orange tabby brain cell.
Then it quickly becomes sentient and it can strategize like this,
but then it again disappears. There you go again.

Speaker 2 (01:00:43):
The memes tell us this, so it must be true.

Speaker 3 (01:00:46):
So our spring breakers. They pull the cat out of
the box. Martin removes a collar from its neck that
says genetic laboratory, and he reasons from this that it
may have come from a genetic laboratory. Then Suzanne fall
in love with the kitty cat. She's hugging it, and
she insists they've got to bring it with them on
the boat. But like, what if this is somebody's cat?

(01:01:06):
I don't know, I mean, I guess the collar makes
it look like it's a lab animal, but still so yeah,
they just bring it on the boat. Oh and there's
a funny thing here where at first Lance the jock
is really worried about getting seasick, and then about four
seconds after he steps onto a boat, he vomits a
bunch of mellow yellow yeah, almost immediate barf gag, Yeah,

(01:01:28):
translucent yellow liquid. So oh, next thing is we meet
our the main last character we haven't met yet, Captain Rachel.
We're on the yacht and there's a scene where Captain
Rachel is arguing with wall Street Walter. Walter wants them
to leave immediately. There's kind of a sense that the
law could be closing in on him soon, but she

(01:01:49):
doesn't know that, and she protests. She's like, well, we
don't have any crew right now. I'm the only one here.
And the reason they don't have any crew is that
Walter harshly insulted and mistreated the previous crew. So they
all quit. And then Walter is like, come on, let
you know, come on, I yeah, just you can do it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:08):
And so this is why he is cool with these
guys coming on board, because they're going to serve as
the crew as they make their escape fleeing the SEC
on their way to the they went down on their
way to the Cayman Islands, that's right.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
So Rachel is sort of stuck here in the in
the boat, captaining the situation, because does tell me if
I'm getting some details wrong here. I think the way
they explain it is it used to be her father's boat,
but her father got in debt or something and lost
the boat, and then he died, and she is now

(01:02:43):
working as captain of this boat until she can buy
the boat back from wall Street. Walter is that that's
how I understood it. Yeah, and he like wall Street.
Walter insults her. She clearly hates Walter, but she's kind
of being a team player for now so that she
can achieve her own boat related goals. That's right. Yeah,
So our spring breakers arrive, Walter is like, oh, I

(01:03:05):
didn't tell you could bring a bunch of random boyfriends
you just met at the marina. So he's trying to
send the boys back to shore. But while they're in
the middle of this, klue Gooliger arrives with news that
the SEC is looking for Walter. They want to search
his boat. So this light's a fire under Walter and
it's like, we got to go now, and Bobby convinces
Walter that, yeah, like you mentioned, they can let their

(01:03:26):
new boyfriends stay on board so they can serve as
the boat's crew genius.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Yeah, it's a fun plot hook, you know. I could
see he's working in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign easily.

Speaker 3 (01:03:38):
So it's anchors away, and of course the cat is
coming along. Walter also does not want to take the
cat with him, but Suzanne is like, but he's so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
Yeah, and they're like, it's good luck to have a
cat on board, which that's right.

Speaker 3 (01:03:49):
Yeah. So this is basically the end of the first act.
The pieces are all in place, and for the rest
of the movie, the cat will begin to gradually pick
off the characters on the boat while the humans try
to figure out what's going on and react. So maybe
we'll now go a little bit less chronological and just
pick some scenes to focus on. The first night there

(01:04:12):
on the boat is kind of party night where everybody's
drinking and dancing, and there's a scene where everybody's gathered
around while wall Street. Walter regales the group with wonderful
stories about times that he was great at doing deals
and about times that he really showed somebody else whose boss.
He's eating a banana throughout this, by the way, and
Corey just adores him. He's like, Wow, wall Street Walter

(01:04:33):
tell us another. Meanwhile, off to the side, Rachel and Martin,
the two basically good characters, are playing backgammon and they're
quietly getting to know each other and they're talking about
their backstories. And Suzanne is cuddling the cat, which, by
the way, we have already seen vomit itself and sabotaged

(01:04:55):
the engine earlier than this. That happened at some point,
and wall Street Walter drunkenly comes over to insult both
Rachel and Martin, and you know, Rachel just kind of
tells him off. But there's also a dancing scene here
that reminds me almost to Friday the Thirteenth Part four
with Crispin Glover dancing. The dancing itself is nowhere near

(01:05:16):
as weird as Crispin Glover's dance, but the framing and
the feel of the scene is quite similar.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
Yeah, yeah, this is completely unbelievable, Like what is dancing?
Like what do people do when they hang out? Let's
try and create it here for the camera.

Speaker 3 (01:05:32):
So let's talk about the death of Albert, the clue
Goolager character. So Albert is supposed to be steering the boat.
Rachel gives him instructions and leaves him there. But Albert, well,
he's steering the boat. I think he gets bored, and
so he gets a bottle of wine out of a
cabinet and he's supposed to be driving, but he's getting drunk.
He's talking to himself a lot. He's like, oh, Albert,

(01:05:54):
you're the captain now, You're the captain now. And he's
also singing the battle hymn of the report. But why
why that? Maybe because it was public domain, they couldn't
think of anything else. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
I got the sense that the old clue here is
just hamming it up as much as possible before his
inevitable death scene.

Speaker 3 (01:06:14):
Just having a belt of wine and singing Twinkle Twinkle
Little Star. Then Rachel comes in and relieves him, after
realizing that he has steered them far off course. He's like,
get out of here. So clue Gooliger goes out wandering
around on the ship and he I think he's looking
for a storage box that has more booze in it.
He opens one up and the cat's in the box.

(01:06:35):
He's like, hey, cat, get out of the way, that's
my wine. It gets the wine out and then he
uncorks it and has a bunch and spits it on
the cat. Oh wow, that was a mistake. Kitty cat
doesn't like that. Kitty cat does not like that at all.
And then we get the vomit self up vomit self
up reaction and it attacks klue Gooliger and what a

(01:06:57):
weird attext. So it goes for the throat. There's blood everywhere.
But after the attack we see klue Gooliger's neck like
his veins throbbing under his skin in this makeup effect,
and I was like, whoa, what's happening here? We about
to get some kind of transformation. Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Same, I was like, he is about to mutate into
some sort of abomination and now we're gonna have like
zombies on board and a killer cat or is he
going to turn into some sort of like wear cat
thing or something. But as we'll find out, this is
just the cat thing. Then I'm doing its work. It's
like a high speed lethal cat scratch fever that drives

(01:07:37):
you mad with pain and then the only solution to
your pain is to leap into the sea and die.

Speaker 3 (01:07:41):
That's right. So unfortunately, klue Googliger does not turn into
a cat person instead, it's just like his veins explode
and he falls into the water splash. Yep. Now, in
the aftermath of this, Mike and wall Street Walter find
the blood everywhere, but they cover up Albert's death because
Walter just wants to get back to the party and
he's like, we don't have time for this. We'll sort

(01:08:02):
this out after we're free. And then the next day
Mike and Walter act all surprised when it's discovered that
Albert is missing and there's blood everywhere. Also, by this point,
the ship's engine is fully malfunctioning due to the cat
things sabotage, and wall Street Walter convinces Rachel to keep
sailing ahead instead of turning back to look for Albert.

(01:08:24):
I was like, I'm just trying to remember. How does
he convince her? I think it's just more boat related
lever boat ownership.

Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
He's kind of like, like, you get us to the Caymans,
I'm going to have so much money. I can just
basically sign this boat over to you. And you know,
if she she knows that this isn't right. I mean,
Albert is missing and they should turn back and look
for him. But she she is, you know, seduced by
money here and by by the boat ownership. So Walter

(01:08:53):
is able to sway her to his side and she's like,
all right, we'll keep going.

Speaker 3 (01:08:56):
They also, I just remember this. They also convince her
by dying and say that saying that Albert couldn't swim,
so there is zero chance that he's still alive.

Speaker 2 (01:09:06):
Yeah, So she factors that into it and still sides
with money over going back and looking for him.

Speaker 3 (01:09:14):
But Martin and Rachel are more inquisitive about what's going
on here. So Martin takes a sample of the blood
do they find on the deck, and he examines it
with what equipment a sextant, A sextant, you know, for navigation.
He uses like a lens on the sextent in combination
with a magnifying glass to look at the blood and

(01:09:37):
he's like, my god, this blood is at least five
hundred times more bloody than any blood I've ever seen.
It could only be a mutation. And she's like, what,
but you're a biology major and he's like, no, I know,
I've never seen any mutated blood as mutated as this,
So some weird doings are afoot. So next seeing things

(01:10:07):
on board start getting more violent between the people on
the ship. So there's a scene where wall Street Walter
is creeping on Bobby while she's doing aerobics, and then
he gets creepier and creepier until it seems that he
is about to rape her. But then Lance shows up
and beats him up, but unfortunately, then Mike shows up
and shoots Lance in the arm. So now things have

(01:10:31):
sort of openly turned hostile between the corporate creeps and
the spring Breakers, and Mike has all the spring Breakers
at gunpoint, but there is a cat attack while he's
like standing there with the gun pointed at them. The
cat bites Mike on the leg. This is George Kennedy
bites him on the bites Dragline on the leg in
a way that it looks like it nearly bites his

(01:10:52):
leg off. At first, Yeah, not quite, but it's like
digging in there, and they're later talking about it like, wow,
it bit right through his shoe.

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
So set, Yes, sever's right through the achilles tendon. There's
a lot of screaming. Yeah, he's hitting the floor. And now,
at first, what I was watching this, I couldn't tell
if the other characters were supposed to see that cat
thing did it because cat thing kind of comes out
underneath the furniture and attacks. Which I have to say
is this is a very unbrand.

Speaker 3 (01:11:21):
For a household, reaching out from under furniture.

Speaker 2 (01:11:23):
Yeah, reaching out from underneath something and attacking the feet.
My feet are attacked on a near daily basis by
my own cat, but never gets me quite this hard.
There's never splurting blood and screaming. And of course my cat,
not being a mutant, also doesn't have venom that makes
my veins explode.

Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
That's right. So what happens here is the bite seems
a lot worse than a cat bite could normally be
for some reason. They're I mean, I guess it's just
duty to treat whoever. But they're trying to help out
Mike after he was just pointing a gun at them,
and they're like, what's going on, Mike, And he's like, well,
you know, I've been bitten by a mutated cat. So

(01:12:05):
all this venom is coursing through his veins and his
veins are sort of popping up under the scan and exploding,
and Martin is explaining, like, wow, the blood was mutating
like nothing I've ever seen before, and it makes Mike's
arteries explode and he dies. For a minute, it looks
like he's gonna go full cane and alien. I think
like something pops up out of his gut like a head,

(01:12:27):
but then it doesn't. Nothing emerges.

Speaker 2 (01:12:29):
Yeah, I thought again, this is gonna be another cat
thing bursting out of George Kennedy's chest.

Speaker 3 (01:12:35):
But it doesn't happen. I think that was just another
vein exploding. Maybe that was his heart exploding or something,
I guess. So at this point, Rachel and Suzanne try
to go radio for help, but wall Street Walter pulls
a quint in Jaws. Here he shoots the communications equipment
and he's like, you won't be getting in touch with anybody.
But fortunately Rachel and Suzanne get the upper hand. They

(01:12:57):
like blast him with a fire extinguisher and they get
control of the gun and subdue Walter. So after this,
the spring Breakers take charge. Now they are in control
of the vessel.

Speaker 2 (01:13:07):
That's right, Walter is captive and they've just got to
steer this ship to safety and justice.

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
Now what other scenes should be mentioned? As things things
go on, the cat will continue to attack various members
of the I was gonna say the crew people on
board the ship here, there's one weird subplot where the
cat infects all of the food on the yacht with
cat with like vein explosion venom. Yeah, and this kind

(01:13:34):
of reminded me of the like the scenes in the
Thing or like the Thing is getting to the blood
to taint all the blood so they can't test for it.
Mm yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
And I think there was a scene in Alien where
the Xenomorph gets into their food. Maybe it was a
deleted scene, but it's one that I've seen mentioned time
and time again when when fans are debating how quickly
as Xenomorph grows and what it may or may not
have to eat to get to that point.

Speaker 3 (01:14:01):
There's one scene eventually that was an amazing, like laugh
out loud moment, and it's the it's the Lance makeout
arm scare scene.

Speaker 2 (01:14:10):
Yes, oh god, this is so good. This is a
scene that, as we describe it here, it may sound
grotesque and and uh and I would say in bad
taste maybe with a with a with a touch of
cruelty to it, but the way, but that's just not
the nature of this film. Like it ends up just
being laugh out loud, funny and just so over the

(01:14:31):
top ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (01:14:32):
So what happened, Like Lance and Bobby are making.

Speaker 2 (01:14:35):
Lance was the one who was shot by Mike, so he's,
you know, he's still recovering. He's he's maybe recovering from
that that gunshot wound. He's in bad he's in bad place.

Speaker 3 (01:14:45):
They're kissing and he's like, I can't feel anything in
my arm.

Speaker 2 (01:14:48):
Yes, like my arm's really numb, and so she moves
a towel off of the hand of that arm, and
then we see that cat Thing is just munching on
his fingers. It's like munched all his fingers off, and
there's just blood everywhere, and of course Lance screams and
from there, I mean again, this is a very fast
acting mutant cat Thing venom. Lance very quickly like loses

(01:15:12):
his mind and is convinced that his only hope is
to jump off the ship to his death.

Speaker 3 (01:15:17):
And I think Bobby goes with him.

Speaker 2 (01:15:18):
Yeah, Bobby's like no, and then goes with him, and
then she's dead too.

Speaker 3 (01:15:21):
So that's the end of them there.

Speaker 2 (01:15:24):
We should note that, you know, the girls were nice
to cat Thing, and so far cat Thing has not
directly attacked either of the girls.

Speaker 3 (01:15:32):
That's right. It has only bitten the boys. Yeah, the
corporate creeps and the boys. Yeah. Though I will say
to comment on whether the cat punishes immorality or not,
Lance has been a little bit mean to the cat.
But Lance actually hasn't been that bad in terms of
human behavior. You can imagine a jock in the spring
Break movie being a much more terrible and obnoxious character.

(01:15:54):
He's just a little bit annoying to the other humans.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
Yeah, that's a good point. That's a good point. Now,
in the in the midst of all of this, what
we also have Corey, the preppy character he like is
he's running a side deal with Walter. There's like a
scene where Walter the prisoner now kind of seduces Corey
back over to his side let me show you something
like that, but I don't remember the details of their deal.

Speaker 3 (01:16:16):
He invites Corey into Corey's in there like, wow, you know,
I thought you were great Wall Street Walter, but it
turns out you're You're a real joke that like you
at all. And while Street Walter is like, let me
change your mind. Come look at my wall safe. I've
got money and Corey's like, oh, money, but I don't
I don't think now I've forgotten this detail. Is Corey

(01:16:38):
gonna go for the deal? I don't think so.

Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
But doesn't Corey then agree to a plan where they're
going to put out poison for the cat.

Speaker 3 (01:16:45):
Yeah, they're going to try to kill the cat. Yeah,
but that's in his interest too, that's in everybody's interest
on the boat. I mean, so he's going to put
out poisoned food around the boat so that the cat
will eat it and die. That's his plan, though he
actually Lance is not killed by the cat. Lance is
killed by his own clumsiness because he's like carrying a

(01:17:08):
gun around and he's in the engine room and he
shoots something that blasts a bunch of steam on it.

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
He's trying to shoot the cat, hits a steam pipe
and the steam just blasts them. By the way, from
the effects, it's clear that this is like like fire
extinguisher or something and not steam. But then but then
we cut to this like horrific makeup effect on Corey
where he's just been completely scalded to death, and it's
pretty horrific. After seeing all these all these shots of

(01:17:36):
the cat thing puppet emerging from the fake cat head.
This one was kind of it was a little alarming
to see, you know, some I don't know how believable
they are from a you know, an anatomical level, but
the horror movie wise, it was very effective.

Speaker 3 (01:17:49):
So eventually the only passengers left alive on the yacht
are Rachel the captain, Martin the biologist, and wall Street Walter.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
Oh, we forgot about Suzanne. Susan and still on board,
eats poisoned cat food, yes, and then her veins explode.

Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
She thinks that the cat food is not poisoned. She
like breaks into the pantry and eats a piece of
bread and she's like, they were lying to me, it's
not poisoned. It's fine. But then Hugh and yeah, her
veins explode.

Speaker 2 (01:18:20):
But again not directly killed by the cat.

Speaker 3 (01:18:22):
The cat is watching her when it happens. They do
like to watch. Yeah, so there is then there's a storm.
There's a storm, and the boat basically starts sinking. There
was another part where it's hard to explain why this
was so funny, but Rachel is like, there, you know,
the hull is damaged. We're taking on water and then
it just cuts to a wall with like a clean,

(01:18:45):
sort of softball sized round hole in the wood, and
there's like clearly a hose on the other side of it,
just gushing through.

Speaker 2 (01:18:53):
Like, how did did the cat do this? How did
this happen?

Speaker 3 (01:18:56):
I don't know, but it's really funny. And so the
boats sink and Rachel and Martin they get away to
a lifeboat. I guess they're trying. Walter is going to
come with them, but he tries to save his money.
He's like, no, I got to get all my briefcases
of cash, the silver briefcases. Yeah, loading up these silver
briefcases full of wads of cash, and he's like, gotta

(01:19:17):
go back for another briefcase of cash, and you know what,
He's going to be killed by greed. It's like it's
like Ilsa at the end of the Last Crusade. You know,
you let it go, but he can't let it go.
The cat gets him. And then Rachel and Martin are
in the lifeboat, and since they're now drifting away from
the sinking yacht, you'd think they'd be okay, but no,
there is a coda. There is one last conflict, and

(01:19:40):
it is magnifico.

Speaker 2 (01:19:43):
Yeah, It is amazing. If you decide to watch Uninvited
and you find yourself becoming a little bored and you're
tempted to turn it off, don't turn it off. I
would recommend just watching it, but if you must, at
least fast forward to the end and watch this final
sequence in the lifeboat, because it is it is just
absolutely inspired B cinema.

Speaker 3 (01:20:05):
So they're in the lifeboat and then the the killer
cat thing puppet starts popping up out of the water
and attacking them on the boat. So like grabs Martin
and he's like ah ah and wrestling it away, and
then Rachel's like, oh no, did it bite you? No,
I'm okay.

Speaker 2 (01:20:21):
Oh there it is again and is back in the
boat coming at them. It's like, oh, I mean, it's
just troll. Two levels of awesteness. And it reminds Actually,
my wife made this connection first because I had to
show where this ending.

Speaker 3 (01:20:33):
She didn't watch the whole film, but I'm like, you
gotta watch the ending.

Speaker 2 (01:20:35):
And she said, it's just like the moment in the
Simpsons Treehouse of Horror where Homer gets his hands stuck
in the toaster.

Speaker 3 (01:20:41):
Again. Yes, like Dad, it's stuck in there again. Oh,
it's one of my favorites. It is. It's exactly that energy.
And then the way that they defeat the cat is
so good.

Speaker 2 (01:20:52):
Well, the whole logic ground. So they're like, the cat
is only jumping in here after us, because this is
the only thing floating in the area. We should throw
the suitcase full of millions of dollars out into the
water and then the cat will be forced to float
on that.

Speaker 3 (01:21:07):
But first they dump out the millions of dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:21:09):
They well, let's get the money, let's get the money
out first. They did have that moment of clarity, I guess.
But then yeah, they throw the briefcase out and the
cat puppet cat thing is just setting on the floating briefcase.
I don't know why he couldn't jump into the boat
and attack them a third time and a fourth time.
At this point they're able to leave it behind again

(01:21:30):
in a lifeboat that is not propelled by anything except
for the storm all around them. So we get this
shot of there they're going to safety, and there their
lifeboat and there is cat thing floating on the silver
briefcase in the ocean.

Speaker 3 (01:21:44):
So evil wall Street Walter got his Comeuppins and his
co conspirators. Unfortunately, many innocent people perished along the way
as well. But our two heroes in the end, they
drift to the Cayman Islands, I guess, and they get
to walk away with a Duffel bag full of money,
and there's like a scene of them to talking to
the authorities, like explaining what happened, and the authorities are like,

(01:22:05):
I don't know about this cat monster story, but they're
both just like looking at the Duffel bag, like can
we take this?

Speaker 2 (01:22:11):
Yeah, and they're like, yeah, sure, go for it. You
two need a vacation after all that. So it seems
like our heroes, our survivors, are are on track for
a happy ending here.

Speaker 3 (01:22:23):
Yeah. Though I guess Captain Rachel is not going to
get the boat she wanted. Maybe she's going to get
a different boat.

Speaker 2 (01:22:29):
Yeah, I think she'd want a different boat after all this,
you know what a blood bath boat that's I'm probably
still poisoned by the cat, the mutant cat that was
running them up and boarded.

Speaker 3 (01:22:39):
I guess they're competing interests there, Like it has sentimental
family values kind of a legacy yacht, but also it
was where the cat Thing killed all those people.

Speaker 2 (01:22:48):
I don't know, but you, even though we have a
essentially a happy ending here, you need something a little
more on a sci fi horror movie like this, you
need a little like bump bump bump action. You maybe
setting up for a sequel, but at least leaving you
with an uneasy feeling that things are not going to
be okay.

Speaker 3 (01:23:07):
Two twist ending. Now there's the theatrical twist ending. The
one I know is the one on the beach. Is
that the same one that was in your version in
the theatrical yet? Okay? Yeah, so wait, well why don't
you narry what happens here?

Speaker 2 (01:23:21):
Okay, so we get a nice beach scene. I believe
what is the name of this beach? This is actually
a California beach that a lot of stuff has been
shot on. This is not Florida, but on this beach
we see, oh here washed up is the silver briefcase
again that used to have cash in it, that was
emptied and it was the last place that we saw
cat Thing. And then here is a little boy walking

(01:23:44):
along on the beach. This is actually Graydon Clark's son,
by the way, and he finds a cat now. Of note,
this is not the same cat we've been seeing the
whole time. This is like a dark cat, This is
not an orange tabby. But we are to assume, I
guess that this cat is cat thing or has cat
thing inside it, because the child picks up cat thing
is holding him, and then we get an ominous freeze

(01:24:07):
frame and then a zoom in on.

Speaker 3 (01:24:08):
The child holding the cat. Well, the cat was more
mutated than anything Martin the biologist had ever seen, so
clearly he could mutate its coat too. So yeah, that's
why it looks different now.

Speaker 2 (01:24:18):
Yeah, or it is a parasite that found a new
cat to occupy it.

Speaker 3 (01:24:21):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:24:22):
Either interpretation I guess is valid.

Speaker 3 (01:24:24):
But what was the deal with the alternate ending? Was
there like a European cut?

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
Yeah, so it's a different twist ending. And remember in
this version, we don't see Gray and Clark at the
beginning of the film as a doctor. Instead we see
him here at the end. We're at the marina there
on the dock, and the child brings this suitcase to
the father or assuming it's the father played by Graydon Clark,
and he's like, oh, what's his suitcase? Let's open it up.

Speaker 3 (01:24:50):
Put it up.

Speaker 2 (01:24:51):
They put it up there on a table. Open it up,
and then we get a jump scare of cat thing,
the puppet version, jumping out of the briefcase at us
the audience, and we get this you know, awesome like
snarl growl sound that it makes throughout the picture, and
then freeze frame and then we cut to the credits
with that horrible theme song playing over it. The theatrical

(01:25:13):
version has just you know, the scary score from the picture.
International version gets that horrible uninvited theme music.

Speaker 3 (01:25:24):
Yeah, well that's uninvited. That is.

Speaker 2 (01:25:29):
Yes, it gives us a lot to think about about
about humanity's relationship with cats. No, it doesn't really give
anything to think about it. It is a but it
is an alarmingly good B movie, this one. This one
has a well deserved following among B movie and Schlot fans.
So if you like quote unquote bad movies, if you

(01:25:50):
like cheesy movies, this one's worth picking up. It's I mean,
it's again, it's got some fun performances in it, it's
competently made. On the whole, It's very watchable. I don't
think it ever has a dull moment. It's just a
lot of fun.

Speaker 3 (01:26:02):
I just remembered I think I rented this in the
same batch where I rented Night Beast. Oh, that all
comes together as like a really good, really really good
video drome hole for me.

Speaker 2 (01:26:15):
Yes, Night Beast is incredible. And by the way, if
anyone out there, if you happen to be in the
Atlanta area and you're going to Monster Rama this weekend,
there's going to be a showing of Night Beast as
part of the track there. Yeah, they're also gonna there
has shown some other films, including some that we've talked
about on the show. Here, Queen of Blood is gonna

(01:26:35):
be be presented. So hey, yeah, if you like monster movies,
I feel like some of the weird house movies we've
talked about that that's worth checking out if you're in
the area.

Speaker 3 (01:26:43):
All right, I guess we got to wrap it up
for today.

Speaker 2 (01:26:45):
That's right, we're wrapping it up. This is the end
of cat Week.

Speaker 3 (01:26:48):
But write in.

Speaker 2 (01:26:49):
We would love to hear from you. What what are
some of your favorite weird films that feature cats? Cats
as enemy cat as cat says ally, it's all fair game.
We'd love to hear from you. Just remind that Stuff
to Blow Your Mind is primarily a science and culture podcast,
with core episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but on Fridays
we set aside most serious concerns to just talk about
a weird film on Weird House Cinema. If you are

(01:27:10):
on letterbox dot com, head on over to our profile.
We are a weird house, and you will find a
list of all the films we've covered on the show
thus far, and sometimes a peek ahead at what's coming
out next.

Speaker 3 (01:27:21):
Huge thanks as always to our excellent audio producer Jjposway.
If you would like to get in touch with us
with feedback on this episode or any other, to suggest
topic for the future, or just to say hello, you
can email us at contact at stuff to blow your
Mind dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:27:41):
Stuff to Blow your Mind is production of iHeartRadio. For
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