November 19, 2025 • 46 mins
In season 1 episode 4 of "Family Matters," Aunt Rachel goes on her first date after being widowed. This prompts Telma and Kellie to share their thoughts about dating, moving through grief, and Black women's standards for men.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Really listens a mission this day and age Kelly and
Thelma and returning the page, we're talking Family Matters about
those times.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Ellen, what happened three.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Between the line with Kelly and me?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the fam, Elie, Kelly, Welcome, Welcome, welcome, Welcome
to the family, y'all. I'm so glad to have you
here today.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm Telma and I'm Kelly, and in the nineties were
both starting a little show you might have heard of
called Family Matters. And for today we rewatched season one,
episode four of the show called Rachel's First Date and
this will be a fun one for you right Tooma.
Well that's what they say. We'll see about that. But
before we do that, what up, girl, what happened with
(00:56):
you this week?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Oh? Right, nothing? Nothing?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I have those weeks too is not a bad thing.
So nothing is good, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Though? I think I finally got into the place where
I don't need to be constantly entertained or doing something
to feel like my life is good and you feel
good about it?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Well, your time off for you is good. You got
two kids, exactly? Well, girl, I went to Atlanta. Now
you remember my sister, you met her at the party.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yes I do.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
She's all crippled now. She had the nerve to try
to step over a puddle of water, slipped, fell and
broke her ip. Okay, so she just got out of rehab.
I thought I'd take her out to one of her
favorite places in Atlanta. What was one of mind too,
because we love our seafood boil. So we were going
to Juicy Crab Girl. Oh, Juicy Crab got the best crabs, girl,
(01:48):
and corn and the whole bag, you know, you shake
it up and stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
So we hobbled on in there.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
It took us about twenty minutes because you know, we
had to walk behind her in the walker. But once
we got there, got settled. I got my little spicy margarita.
My brother in law gott a beer, My sister got
a lemonade because she didn't drink, and we were all
just excited about our food.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Came.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
We were just about to open the bag. We had
a plastic gloves, a beb everything on. It turned into
a club, a DJ flight up. People started dancing in
the ice, swing their braids. AlOH my god, it was
not cute, okay, and we're all puzzled thinking, wait a minute,
what's going on. Then it quiets down after a couple
(02:28):
of minutes and we're thinking, Oh, he's just trying out
the equipment for later.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
No, it was karaoke time.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
When I tell you people need to stick to their
day job, that is exactly what I mean. You know,
it takes a talent for somebody to play something in
one key, and you can sing the entire song in
the wrong key.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Have been drunk. I loved it because I'd have been
cracking up.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
But girl, we had to pack up our food and
hobble on back out of there.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
It was so you became the sun and cow of
a crab shot.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
There you go, there you go, And couldn't act up
because I'd already been nice signing autographs and taking pictures
with people and stuff, so I had to have some
act right. So I just left because I knew I
wasn't gonna act right. Oh my gosh, and pay that
much money for food.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
But boy, the.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Crabs was juicy and really oh so that's my what up?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Girl? Oh? Oh wow? Do you remember the first time
you took me to eat creps? And you know, I'm
from Maryland and so we don't exactly use mallets.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
No, you don't use your teeth, We use hands and stuff.
It's just looking.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
At me like I was Dino from the Flintstones. Well,
you was like cracking the crab. You were like Kelly,
you're on TV. Calm down, step away from the crab.
Do you remember you're the first person I ever had
oysters with. You introduced me to oysters, you sure did.
That was my first time. I love them, love them,
love them. I introduced you to something, Yes, you did
(03:54):
a church. Don't forget about that. But that's another whole segment.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Let's talk about this segment where Rachel's getting her freak Well, no, no,
she's not getting a freak on Slow Down, Slow Down,
where they're trying to pry her out of the house,
I should say.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Today we're talking about Rachel's first date, which was the
fourth episode of the first season of the show. So
this was your big episode and it was your first
date after your character's husband had passed. Yes. So the
episode was written by Sally Lapidus and Pamela El's.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
And was directed by John Bohap, who, in another part
of my life, was the director that we made cry
on Bosom Buddies is this use guys, girl, use guys, girls,
use guys. That's him.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Every time I see his name, I have to giggle
because we were just horrible to him. Oh you used
to tease him so bad about that on the show.
Oh no, no, no, but tell that story really quick. Well,
it's just that when I was doing Bosom Buddies, it
was our first series together, me, Tom, Peter, Wendy, Donna, Holland. Well,
Holland was civilized, the rest of.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Us weren't, and we would just get into these silliness,
I mean, just being silly where we'd start laughing about
one thing and it would just escalate to the point
where we were basically hysterical and needed to be slapped.
And John was trying to direct us, and he was
trying to calm us down, but everything he said just
made us more tickle.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
So we were basically in hysteria and he was screaming.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
At us over the micro the bore he yelled at
it's the funnier it was to us.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
It was just a hot mess. Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
And we finally calmed down, but it took him about
a half hour, but he was so red and done
with us, And I don't blame him. We had no kuth. Okay,
but it was fun.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
It's so fun. You were talking about it all those
years later on.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Our show because I never made a director crap before.
Oh lord, okay, girl, they used to make you cry,
especially when you see those shots they took me later on.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Okay. So now on this episode, your character, who's a widow,
gets back into the dating pool. She get shoved back
into it. She didn't jump into it. Well, you are
a third wheel to the couple.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
In fact, if you look up third wheel in the dictionary,
you see a picture of Rachel right between Carl and
Harriet Grinnin. That's how much of a third wheel she
was and had no clue, just clueless. So what else
was happening in the world on that day?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
So the number one Billboard R and B chart album
was Rhythm Nation eighteen fourteen Jackson Your Girl Own, and
the number one Billboard Top two hundred was Forever Your
Girl by Paula Abdul, who was crazy for Janet Jackson.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Hey, the stock market experience a historic mini crash nicknamed
Black Friday. I remember that the Dow Jones fell by
one hundred and ninety points, which at that time was
the second largest one day percentage drop ever ever, and
that was Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Oh we praying for that kind of dropped these days. Yeah,
keep praying.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So this was Julil's first, first, non first appearance on
Family Matters. So this was the first show after he
appeared on the show first Nope, nope, our correct team
found out he was in the show because his character
were so popular that they lifted pieces of the shows
(07:18):
where he was in the show and put him in
the front in the cold opening of show four. That
was the first one when actually his first show was
the twelfth show and the name of that show was
Laura's First Date, which kind of funny, but yeah, that
they lifted it and put it in there. That's why
there was no real introduction or anything. It shocked me
(07:40):
when I saw it because I was like, wait a minute,
I didn't know he was in the show that early, right,
I thought.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That too, because it was like the fourth episode. I
was like, I thought he didn't join the cast until
it was like the thirteenth episode.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Correct, Now it was the twelfth. It was a twelfth okay,
and that is a funky fat up front. I wanted
to ask you, why did you use your middle name?
Was there another Kelly Williams in the guild.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Or yes, there are, there's another Kelly Williams. The one
that was on the white Kelly Williams is what we
call her.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I would have said, the other Kelly Williams, but okay,
we'll call her the white Kelly Williams.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Anyway, in the business, when you have the same name
as other people, they sometimes put things to differentiate you.
So I think I started using that because somebody else
had that name already. And my parents in the seventies,
smoking plenty of weed, they loved it because they love
I was gonna ask you, where did they come up
with the shandein Honey? How you think they came up
(08:34):
with Shanin? Oh? I don't want to know too much,
don't they I'm not gonna put them out there because
they upstand the citizens at this point.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
At this point, well they've worked at that then, because
they weren't when I knew them. In fact, none of
us were. Well, we keep getting sidetracked. Now, you kids
get to leave the house, right.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
All of the kids are going to be gone for
a sleepover. So Carl and Harriet decide they want to
go out for a lover's rendezvous and have a date night.
Do you have a.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Problem with your kids staying over at people's houses? Do
people still do that?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
No, they don't. That's like a new thing now where
that's like a huge no no. In these days and times,
sleepovers are basically for people that you are Maripolvich five
point DNA match close with. That's it. Yeah, So they
can stay over my parents' house, they can stay over
your house, right, they staying over nobody else house because
(09:31):
I don't want to have to go to jail.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
And you know it's not really I mean, I was
very particular, and so was Gerald back in the day.
I mean, he didn't want to stay with anybody. In fact,
there were times when I did get him to stay
over that I'd have to pack a lunch for him
because he had to have particulars, you know exactly. But
I think even then we were very mindful of who
he was with. He was always with family or somebody,
like you said, very very close to family.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Although I didn't mind kids staying over, and parents apparently
didn't mind that either, hear me, because they felt safe.
Oh girl, I used.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
To spend on this person's house, in this person's house,
other than that they can come over here.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yes, and they would, and they would. I was wondering
about that because I know times are a lot different
and you just don't know where you can take them
and who you can trust with them anymore. You have
to be very, very, very very vigilant. And I think
again this is part of being like an old parent,
like you're afraid of everything. I'm watching the news and
I'm thinking they'll be to Mexico by the time I
(10:29):
even know what's going on. Should I put a plan
in them so that I could track them.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
To the better? Put a tracker on them. Girls, put
a tracker on them, right? Oh man?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yeah, that was nice and they were so excited and
of course they were going to just have this moment
to themselves. I actually get a call from a gentleman for.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Days from the church. From church.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yes, And obviously he's not ringing my chimes because I
keep dodging and lie to him saying that I've got
so much to do.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Hang up.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
As soon as they say they're going out, I want
to know what they're doing. I got nothing to do.
Let me just find out a mother winslow and keep
Ritchie and away I go, and I get to pick
the movie. I kick a romantic movie. The three of
us correct. But I want to call you attention to
something else that I've been noticing as I watch every episode.
(11:23):
When I say you was dressed down, Oh my god,
don't be hating. No, I'm not hating, but I mean,
clearly the starving Artist had a personal cell phone number
of Carl Lagefeld and mister Jivon, She and everybody else,
Gucci and everybody else.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Because when I say you was put.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Together, and you know, I mean, I have to give
it to Gina, Gina Trekana. She did her thing on
this seeing now, I mean she was mixing patterns before
that was even a thing. I was watching the black
and white out. It was so cute with the saddle shoes.
Wait a minute, the saddle shoes had read. I'm sure
they weren't lubs, but they had the bottoms they did.
(12:05):
I think she got a lot of fun out of
dressing me, and probably those things look more expensive than
they were because there were a bunch of them. Spell Honey,
that stuff was expensive, or at least you had the
Tailor of Life. Well, we did have the Tailor of life.
We had ABC at our disposal, right, No, well the
whole Warner Brother's team. Old girl, stop it. But I
did love how she dressing this episode. You get to
(12:26):
see her in her Annie houllish kind of dress and
then you get to see her really dressed as a
grown up, which is nice. Ye, Gina was good. I
got to give it to her. You were so funny
in this episode. You are just the loudest mouth. You
want to tell everybody's business. She got something to say
about it, ain't said you?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I mean we're ragging on everybody? Well, no, you know.
They wanted me to be like a mini version of
Joe Marie baby and if you ain't bringing it baby,
you ain't it. Honey would bring it hot. And then
she was oh this episode you were so funny.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Man, your takes on stuff for a kid, you are harsh.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
You are harsh. Yeah, well she was the mini mom.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah she was. She was very much that so. Kelly,
you were a new actress coming in. This is something
I was wondering about. You were given a lot of
responsibility on the show. I mean, you were a smart
ass let's say that flat out right, But it's not
always easy to take on that kind of character. Did
you find it easy because it was written so well?
You're from theater, so you had already done theater, which
(13:32):
was something I didn't do until I was way over twelve.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Over twelve?
Speaker 3 (13:38):
So do you think that kind of gave you the
platform where you knew how to deliver the lines? Was
it that the lines were written so well it was
easy for you because they say if it's not on
the page, it's not on the stage, right. Did you
find that a lot of responsibility or did you just
have fun with it?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Well? No, I think once you're trained in theater, you
usually just look for the rhythm and then you just
jump in like double Dutch rope. And we were really
surrounded by really seasoned performers, So when you approach something
like that, you already know that you have to bring
your a game one. But it's easy to have a
soft landing when you're dealing with professionals.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Well, you certainly had the wherewithal to keep up with
each and every one of us, and coming from theater,
like I said, I didn't do theater until I was
good and grown so I didn't have that kind of background.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
But I mean you were on the stage singing, so
that's you're still emoting.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Yeah, but it's different since I have done theater now,
it's a little different because you are affecting the audience.
When you're singing. The audience sometimes is singing along with you.
They're into your rhythm on stage. I think you have
to find the rhythm right.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
But I think it's also again, I can't say enough
about the adults on the show. You guys were so
responsible in the way that you guys handled us.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
And we were so glad to have a job. Come on, man,
we can keep us on the air. Listen, baby, say
this right, and I say it again, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Right, come on.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I mean that was the lesson for me with having
Steve come on the show and be so popular. You
have to make a choices. I remember saying at one time, well,
whatever keeps us on the air works for me.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
I didn't always like it because the show I felt
was our show when we started and that we had
a strong presence there. But the bottom line was what
is going to keep this show on air? Because ultimately
the audience picks who they want sure, it's the audience play,
and we had to let our egos take a back seat,
(15:42):
you know, being done with the season performance.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
And you know what, but when you were a strong performance,
you definitely don't want to be the weak link. Absolutely,
so you say them lines and do it right the
first time.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Otherwise we didn't have any week links. So even though
Judy's character didn't get a chance to do a lot,
when she did get a chance to do it, she
did her kid. Yeah, so we had a very talented cast. Well,
let's face it, Bye boy Ed and Tom Miller with
no novices at creating dynamic casts.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
That they had done it over and over and over again.
When people set up a rhythm, it's easy to join
if you know how to play the instrument. It's got
to do his catch. So you guys made it easy
for us.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Oh well, I'm glad you all certainly made it easier
for us, because I've been on some of those shows
where the kids yikes, just not a lot of fun
because I can't beat him up a little whey I want.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
To maybe, Okay, but let's get back to the episode.
Because when you get back from dinner with Carl and
Harriet they decided to talk to you about your third willness.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yes they do, and a very real well. And of
course Carl, the author of subtle tactfulness, wants to be
the one to say something, and as soon as he
does come out of his mouth, he hurts my feelings.
But she deserves it. She is just oblivious to everything,
and she forces him into it. But Carl just doesn't
(17:09):
know how to stop. You know, he'll step at it,
then he'll get his other foot, put that in it,
and if he can't, possibly dive into the hole that
he's digging at the same time. And I love the
way it's an acknowledgment of he helped put her in
that position because he was the one that was always
you know, well, no, we can't leave her at home, No,
we have to take her. We don't want her feeling lonely.
And so he kind of made his own monster that
(17:32):
he's dealing with now.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
But in his tactlessness, he actually convinces the character to
go on the date with Alan, which was what moves
her into actually accepting poor Allan's proposal. We call him
poor Alan, Poor Alan. Listen, let's be frank. Rachel was
all over the place.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Okay, she's not well. She's suffering from trauma, a lot
going on, she needs hell. But you know what, I
loved their choice for Alan. I thought Peter Fitzsimmons, I
believe is his name. Wherever you are, you were wonderful.
I didn't know enough about acting to realize how good
(18:15):
he was because he underplayed everything, which made it even funnier.
Really like the way with Eddie and the two's I
mean the cards with you with the singing. I really
love the way he played that character. So shout out
to you wherever you are.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Okay now, Also, did you peep your workout outfit that eighties? Baby?
That body was over Yes.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
If anybody wants to know how I feel about looking
at myself all snatched.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Overpressed.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
This pre bad knees, pre bad hip, pre bad everything.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Baby.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yeah, I was snatched back in the day and it
was easy to stay snatched.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Wow. I have to literally wrap tape around to get
it snatched. Oh please, honey, you're still looking good. You're
talking to somebody who's all button good, so cut it out.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Well, the butt pot is always good, so don't worry
about that. I'm sure our husband isn't our husband, our husband.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I love it, Okay. So when she comes back in
from the gym, she gets a call from Alan, right,
and so what does she decide to do?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
She doesn't really decide to do anything. She doesn't have
a choice. She's forced into it with Harriet sitting basically
on her shoulder. She can't even lie good. So she
has to accept, which for her may not seem like
a big deal, but it's a huge step for her,
and that is kind of why she goes off to
feed the baby that she leaves with her brother in
(19:48):
law and comes back to get a bag and still
leaves a baby.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Right. It's a big turning point for her.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Karl makes the point of saying, you know, it's been
a year and a half, but if you've lost a
loved one, a year and a half really is not
a lot of time. And I've not gone through that
kind of loss, but I can't imagine not saying it
wouldn't be but that in a year and a half
I would be ready to do anything. So it doesn't
seem like it's that big a deal, but for comedy
it is. So we get to enjoy that part of
(20:14):
it and make it something that's enjoyable and entertaining as
opposed to totally depressing.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Okay, so the date night comes and she can't decide
what's she going to win.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
That's just an excuse, right, Okay, She's just really trying
to figure out how she cannot go and stall long
enough where maybe he gets sick of waiting on her
and leaves voluntarily. Of course, none of that happens, but
Judy and Mother Winslow come home, and of course there's
always that moment in our show where Carl's made a
mess of his attempt.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Harry is trying. She's sick of me.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
One of my favorite lines in the show when she's
upstairs and I've changed clothes and I hate everything that
I'm wearing and I tell her I can't do it.
I just can't do it, and she says, An is
down there with our kids.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
He deserves something like wowsis selling me out much? Well?
Did you see the scenes of him enduring the motel review,
the magic tricks, the card trick? That's what I mean.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
He was so funny because his humor was so subtle.
He did not pounce on anything and make it a joke,
which made it even funnier.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Did you also notice how like I love the scenes
where we kept going back and forth to Rachel's bedroom,
which was like a sweep from Dynasty. This house is
a row house, I'm telling Chicago. And meanwhile you laid
up like Deverroux on the bed, laid out with a
pussy cat and a fir and not a crib to
(21:49):
be seen in the room. So I'm not sharing. No,
you're not sharing. No, Eddie's in the attic. Judy is
upstairs somewhere. So the house was a clown car.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
It was you go upstairs and then it stretches back
two blocks, correct. I mean it is ridiculous because every
time you see a room with us in it, it's like,
how can.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
They have that many rooms?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
And I mean Mother Winslow's room downstairs looks like a
little doorway and then you walk in and there it's
like an entire suite with an all sweet bathroom.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Listen this, you come from a town that has those
row houses. You know it ain't but that be you
be in somebody else's house. You have walked out of
your house and into somebody else's. They take a bath.
That part, Yeah, that was funny. I got a kick
out of that. So Mother Winsworo comes up to talk to.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Yeah, there's always that moment when someone in the show
is about to impart some wisdom and again demonstrate why
this family unit works so well. It's because they are
all in the business of loving and helping and supporting
and encouraging their family members. And of course Mother Winslow,
(22:59):
who who has lived a very full life and lost
a husband, would be the one to be able to
decipher things that even Rachel isn't quite in touch with.
She just doesn't want to do it. She doesn't want
to face the fact that she's a widow. She doesn't
want to face the fact that her life is never
going to be the same, and she doesn't have peace
(23:22):
with it because she doesn't know how to. And so
it's a wonderful moment when Rosetta comes in and just
sits on a bit. It's so funny. She says, can
I talk to her? And Carl Yeah, goes sit on
the edge of the bed. I mean, he is just
in the way all the time. But her conversation with
(23:42):
Mother Winslow actually bade me tear up, you know, because
I haven't watched the shows like that. So I'm watching
it as an audience, and I just thought that that
was a really good scene because there were people and
still are people who have lost a loved one, who
have lost a maid or a child, don't feel comfortable
(24:02):
enjoying life after that because you have this feeling that
somehow you're being disloyaled, somehow you're not honoring them if
you go on living the way you did before. So
I really loved that message, and I love the way
A Mother Winslow brought it, and I especially loved the
fact that she was sneaking around dating and nobody knew
(24:24):
that she was a floozy in real life. I just
love the dynamic of those moments with it.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I guess I wasn't paying attention when I was younger,
but like now rewatching it. Black women are so dope.
Say it again, They're so dope how they just know
how to get things done. They always know what to
do when and know what to say when it's necessary.
You so like that too. You always got something in
the bank for everybody else. It's like some kind of
guyser with love and joy. There's always a well that
(24:54):
is so dull to me. Yeah, hope, I get that.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
You know, black women have had to do more than
the average bear, even with the mate a lot of times.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
So we're strong. We're strong, we're tough, and we are
dope as you put it. I don't know if you've
been paying attention to the socials though, that a lot
of young black women are like, listen, baby, I'm trying
to be about that soft life. I ain't trying to
go up the rough side of the mountain. No, mo,
that's over with. What's that song? Go to get the
(25:23):
bacon fried in the pan? Do all this?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
And no, they ain't doing Hell and ready and all
those people ain't doing those songs. Listen telling the man
to go get the frying pan and the bacon and
cook it and bring it here.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Is that what you're saying? You know my saying? Look,
do you want dinner or sex? You do say that? Listen.
My husband knew exactly. I didn't hide a thing. This
is exactly what you get and he did it anyway.
I ain't getting this stuff in the heaven. I don't care.
I'll take it. Girl. You are sick. Okay, Back to
(25:57):
the story. Back to the story. We come down and
we see Rachel finally decides to descend down from her
palatial situationship of Stevens, and again she's snatched. I was snatch.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I like that outfit. I didn't take more clothes. I
got to learn something. But yeah, I like the way
it came together at the end. I liked his line
thank you for a fascinating.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Evening.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
And you know what else made really laugh was well,
I always laugh when Carl gets his face broken. But
the whole thing with him telling Alan mentioned my name
is Shade Joseph Fie.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
It's the only way.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
You can get My family owns restaurant, and its it.
You know, women are just liked doctors. You know they
always chied you arm in the league and always late.
Doctors late get He's like I do, I am a
doctors and Carl face when he gets busted like that
(27:02):
is so funny.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
So is there any advice that you think, Rachel or
you would give single moms about dating. It's hard.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
It's hard when you have a child because that child
is always going to come first, and all men can
handle that. So if you come into a situation with
a child, there is that you can't just be with
me you've got to be with my child as well.
And if you can't handle that, then it doesn't work.
Now for me because I was an actress and in
(27:34):
that world, I also found it harder because you just
don't know if people like you, or they like your character,
or they like what you do or anything like that.
But I would say, don't jump in too quick. Always
ask about a person, Just talk to them, because you
can learn a lot. Women are very intuitive. You can
learn a lot about a person just talking to him.
(27:56):
I can usually figure out in five or ten minutes
whether we're actually going to go on a date or
I'm gonna get sick that night.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Really, m I can work it, girl. So what a minute?
So when you decide that you sick, suddenly, what happens?
Then I'm sick. I have to go to bed right then.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Usually I try to get sick before the date, so
at least he hasn't driven all the way over now
in the date. Let me just ask you something because
I had one of these stories too.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Well.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Have you ever had an awful, awful date? Maybe a
first date, a blind date? H O, I think I
really like him date and he turns out to be
not what you thought I can.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Be pretty socially awkward, so you probably should have asked
my dates.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Oh you could be social Wait a minute, let me
think about this. You can be socially awkward.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Well, you don't know that because you loved me, so
it's covered. Listen, these are rose cold glasses with you.
Everybody else like this chick is a weird All. Well,
I know you're weird, but I just accepted and love
you anyway. Well, I had one you want me to
tell you about mine, please, and it was out here.
It was a blind date. Now I've had two blind dates.
The first one was at home.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I was a youngin like twenty one, old enough to
drink but shouldn't have been drinking, and there was a
girl at motown. She just really wanted me to go
out with her brother, so she finally talked me into it,
and I went out with some friends of ours, Eric
and Mona were driving, and we went to a house
party and I wanted a rum and coke because that
was like the drink. Well, somebody made the rum and coke,
(29:26):
but they did it with one fifty one rum, which
is like a rum times four hundred, So I had
one drink. And immediately just became a belligerent drunk. So
we get in the car. We're going to the next party,
and he decides, since I'm drunk, maybe he can get
a feel on and so Eric's like clocking him on
(29:49):
the back mirrors, kind of watching what he's doing. And
he said he was just getting ready to reprimand him
when he saw me looking really really crazy. I just
turned around, looked the guy and threw up all over him.
I threw up all over him. And they couldn't take
(30:09):
me home because you know, it was my grandmother and
they were scared of her. So Eric took me to
his mom's house to try to clean the guy up,
clean me up, sober me up before he took me home.
So he took me in the bathroom, sat me on
the tub next to the toilet. But every time they
would let go of me, I would just fall in
the tub and they'd see my boots hanging over the side.
Then I started screaming still here. Oh, I just went
(30:33):
completely off, and then I think I blacked out because
the next memory I have was waking up in my
bed in my grandmother's house. I had on everything that
I had on when I left the house boots, coat hat.
They snuck me back in the house, but they said
they were so afraid that she would wake up that
they just put me in the bed and just covered
(30:54):
me up to my neck. And I woke up. I
was still drunk. I've never been that drunk ever.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Again. It was horrible, but funny story and a true story.
Can I say something, You're actually too pretty for that story.
Oh well, I wasn't then. I wasn't there. I wouldn't
have never guessed that. Yeah, I know, that's what makes
it funny. People think I'm serious, sophistic hed to do. Yes,
(31:19):
you are. I had to grow into it. Well. I
was young and dumb and having fun.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
He didn't, and that wool asked me out again.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I was like, well, let me go get some one
fifty one so I can entertain you.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Oh no, I never went out with him again. I'm sure. Yeah,
that's well, that's my story since you didn't have one.
I know, I don't remember if you remember, I didn't
think that much.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yeah, I guess not now I better think on it.
And then when you went back home, I don't know
what you were doing. I do know you hooked a husband,
So I was there for that. I do know about that, right,
I want to ask you about our husband.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yes, how did you two meet? My friend Laurie had
a best friend, and who had a friend, Hannah lur
Our LORI okay, you know, lord, the friend goes, Hey,
I think my friend Hannibal will be a good mate
for Kelly. Let's hook him up. So we're talking on
the phone for a little while. We finally got together
and we never separated after that. We were together for
(32:18):
like two years straight, all the time, every day. And
I tell you how we I mean, we will end
up becoming a couple. Like about maybe three weeks in,
I was sitting there with him, and I was enjoying
his company, and I said, today you're my boyfriend, or
this will be our last conversation. Kelly, there is something
seriously wrong that works with you. God. Well, no, he
(32:43):
had been telling you all these stories about how he
dated this person and that person and how he's not
with them and this and that. Listen, honey, I listen
very well. People tell the story. So I mean I
was enjoying his company, he was enjoying my company. How
you wanna keep it enjoying my company, and this isn't
going anywhere. No, I'm not the type of person that
befriends people that you really like and they want to
(33:03):
stay they buddy while they date somebody Else's a girlfriend
who does that. It's so I don't get that. I
don't get that she's like their best friend and they
talked to her about all of their girlfriends. I'm like, girl,
you crazy.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, there's something wrong with that because you know that's
hurting her feelings every time it happens.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You never get over that. And then she calls me crying.
By y'all, I ain't got it. You should have told
them what was going on off front.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
So I'm gathering that Hannibal's answer was yes, you are
my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Was there any other answer?
Speaker 3 (33:35):
I was beginning to think there might be. You took
such a long calls. You're kind of scared me that
I got a little heart flood of going home, Annibal.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I'm gonna have to call you, baby. She looking crazy.
Time of some jewelry. Listen easy oozy be together.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Oh so cute too. What a great wedding that was,
Thank you, Carol, thank you. It was so much fun.
I had such a good time. It was weird though,
seeing you as a married woman. Somehow, in my mind
even now, it's hard for me to think of you
as an adult.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
It's like you'll always be my kid, you know. It's
so weird because in my mind, you're still the same
Tuma that I met when I was eleven.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Also, I think that's part of what I enjoy so much.
That was a hard adjustment for me when you left
town because you've been around me since you were twelve,
and all of a sudden you were gone. I couldn't
go over to your house, still over to your condo.
That kind of was not I couldn't go over and
see you. We couldn't talk. Well, we could talk, but
it was hard that first year or so that you
(34:36):
were gone that I couldn't just go or you couldn't
just come and see me.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, I missed you. Yeah, But you know what I
love is that when I talk to you, baby, it's
a second of time that has passed. That's love that
I love you. So I really love this episode because
we got a chance to really deal with how people
deal with grief. Yeah, how do you deal with it?
(35:02):
Or do you ever really fully process or do you
just live with the person there, kind of like the
movie Beloved, where the person is not physically there, but
there's still that feeling of the spirit that still lives
with you. How do you deal with it?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Well, in the last probably fifteen years, I lost my grandmom,
you know, who raised me. That was difficult. And then
seven years later I lost my mom.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Thank God.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
I've never lost a child, but I have a friend
who went through that kind of grief. That kind of
grief I don't know that you ever get over. When
my grandmother died she was ninety four, I didn't want
her to die. I didn't want her to go, but
she had a full life. She got to do the
things that she wanted to do. She got to travel,
(35:51):
she got to sucker me out all my money practically
while she was alive on clothing and that sort of thing.
But I could accept her death because it was expected
at some point a child. I don't know that you
ever get over that kind of grief. I think it's
something that you have to learn to live with because
(36:12):
there are so many things that you will not experience
when you lose a child. Say if you lose your daughter,
her growing up dating her first love, getting married, having children.
There are so many things that you miss out on
that from the moment you had that child, that's what
you're thinking of, I'm going to be a grandma someday.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
There's all that stuff that's built in.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I would think that with losing a child, that's something
you would have to learn to live with the loss
of my grandmother, loss of my stepdad, the loss of
my uncle, the loss of my mom. All those deaths
were hard, but I could deal with them because I
had a life with them, and they had a full life.
(36:57):
I think that's a little different. What about you. Have
you experienced anything like that?
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I have. I come from a huge family, and so
oftentimes in my family we have cousins that are like
they helped to raise you. You didn't have babysitters. You
have older cousins. Absolutely, and one of my older cousins
has and it hasn't gotten any easier. Every time I
think about her, every time I think about, like you said,
all of the things that I assumed that we would
(37:24):
do and see and be together, it's not there. I
wrestle with that because you have to not be so
attached to your own idea of what you think life
should be because it takes so many turns. But the
thought of her not being here is like devastating to
everything I thought life would be. Is life without that
(37:47):
person there? I get it, I get it.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
I mean I think about my son's uncle, who was
only thirty three when he passed. To be so young,
he was such a vital part of both my family
and his family, and I still think about how different
things would have been had he lived. But you do
have to go on. You have to press on, not
(38:11):
just because you have a family and all of that
and other people that are looking for you to be
there for them, but you want to live for them
as well.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
My grandmother was so incredibly proud.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
I mean not at first because she didn't want me
to go off and be a singer and all that
crazy stuff. She wanted me to stay in college and
go be a business administrator. But she was so proud
of me because she taught me to have my own
mind and that went against what she wanted a lot
of the time. But she was so proud of what
I did with my decision, just how it affected all
(38:46):
of us, the joy that she got from it. I
know she would want me to keep doing that, keep
making her proud.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Do you ever feel her with you?
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Like I think whenever you think about them sometimes that
they might be around you. But I haven't had one
of those where you're sleeping and if they're standing at
the foot of the bed or nothing like that, because
I probably have light hair if that. But I think
all the people that you love you feel around you.
(39:21):
So you arrived back home and Harriet and Carlo on
the porch are safe space, right because in a couple
of episodes that's usually where they wind up, you know,
talking everything out and the whole episode coagulates.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Was that a space for you growing up too? Because
for us, we used to sit on the porch and
watch the rain. Oh god, yes, girl.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
In Detroit, we were on the porch as soon as
it got fifty four degrees. We were sitting out there
with the sweater and it was really like you watch
the whole world go by your neighborhood. And we were
out there from early in the morning the evening. You
would sit out there, you would eat, you are you drink,
talk about each other. But it was a social gathering.
(40:05):
It was a social place, and I think on family matters.
It was our safe place. And you'll see that in
several episodes, not just with Carl and Harriet, but with
Mother Winslow with herself, that there's a sort of soft
landing on that porch, and when she comes home, she
knows where to find them. And it's nice to kind
(40:26):
of wrap up that segment. You get to see that
dating wasn't such a bad thing after all, and I
might have even sort of enjoyed it. I think we're
all like that to let them know that she was
home and that she was okay. But yeah, the porch
for me growing up was like our place. We had
a porch downstairs, and we lived in a duplex, so
(40:46):
we had a porch upstairs too, And I mean you
could flag everything that was going on in the neighborhood,
and so could our parents because oh yeah, when we'd
be trying to hide out and stuff, they could always
hit that arrant network of porches and find out.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Exactly where we were. Damn it boiled again.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
You'll see Kelly down there doing so oh child, uh huh, see,
I'm gonna get her when she got why, I'll get
a while she's down here, right, Everybody fussing at you
all the way home and bed going home.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
You know, you what you were supposed to do. You
know that porch was like a watchtower at a prison.
That's where you see everything. Yeah, you really did, You
really did. But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
It was such a wonderful part of growing up because
there was that sense of community because it wasn't just
you on the porch, it was everybody they had a
porch was on the porch.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Correct. Those are great memories for me.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
I really enjoyed that, except you know when my mom
was out there acting crazy, because she did that every
now and again too.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
My mother would do some stuff child.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
One time, this is when my son was a baby,
he was in a walker and we had an upstairs
that had been an attic but they had made it
into a bedroom and he was up there and he
for some reason and he was getting his walker. Used
to love to back up and running to the wall.
He would hit the wall and bounce back in the walker,
and he just thought that was just the funnest thing
(42:09):
in the whole wide world. Well, one time he backed up,
missed the entire wall and went down the steps in
the walker. I swear to god, I don't know where
my mother was. It was like she appeared out of nowhere.
She caught him before he hit the bottom of the steps,
and then went running out the door, running down the
street with him and the walker. Go and run her
(42:31):
to the hospital. I guess I don't know where she
was going. He wasn't even hurt. He was looking at
her like, what are you doing? Had on my stepdad's
house shoes. She's just slapping down the street and we're
come back. He's okay, oh wow, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Let me tell you something. Tell me your stories always
take an interesting turn, like it'll start off real, like normal,
real normal text. Seeing you know, a baby in a walker,
it's a ping pong? What my mother?
Speaker 3 (43:00):
She panicked quick. Oh, there was nothing calm about her
spirit when something was happening. She just went with what
And we're driving. She's still running down the street and
we're just getting the car. Let's go get her, you know. Well,
but with the entire walker. She didn't take a baby
out of the walker. No, she running with the baby
in the walker down the street. My mother was five
to one, if she was that really five to one,
(43:23):
and she flapping down the street I.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Bet my grandbaby's gonna be okay. I don't know about
them crazy mama who got the baby running down the
steps with all this foolishness.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
But believe you me, if she had to run to
the hospital with him, that's what she was fair and
determined to do.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
We didn't even know she could run anyway. That's all
we got for this week. Yep.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
I have so enjoyed this. I just love seeing you
talking to you. I love our audience. Thank you all
so much for just hanging in there with us all
these years and just giving us this platform.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
We are so so so great. Bulk. That's it for
this week, but stay tuned. Yeah, we're gonna rewatch each
episode of Family Matters week by week, so make sure
to rewatch the show right along with us. You can
catch it on Hulu and TVs and a bunch of
other places.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Welcome to the Family with Telma and Kelly is a
production of iHeart Podcasts and Audiation. It's hosted by me
Tlma Hopkins and me Kelly Williams. Our executive producers are
Sandy Smallings for Audiation, Adam rip JD Hopkins, who also
happens to be my Son and Kelly's fobro and Jonathan
Strickland for iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
The show was produced by Telma and I, but our
series producer is Ireland Meachen and our theme songs lyrics
were written by j. D. Hopkins and Adam Ripped. The
theme song was scored and mixed by Matt Noble, who's
also our series mixer.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
And we'd like to thank Nikki e Tour and the
entire iHeart Podcast team.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Follow us on Instagram
at what Become to the Family Pod for behind the
scenes photos and more bonus content.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
And don't forget to leave us a voicemail at our website,
thefamilymatterspod dot com. We want to hear your thoughts and
favorite memories of the show and let us know if
you need advice, because we're good for some bad advice.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
We might be able to help you with your own
Family Matters and make sure to rate and review us
wherever you're listening. We are so excited to have you
guys along for the ride.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yes, Welcome to the family, y'all, and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Welcome to the Familie
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Audiations ass
Really listens a mission this day and age Kelly and
Thelma and returning the page, we're talking Family Matters about
those times.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Ellen, what happened three.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Between the line with Kelly and me?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to the fam, Elie, Kelly, Welcome, Welcome, welcome, Welcome
to the family, y'all. I'm so glad to have you
here today.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
I'm Telma and I'm Kelly, and in the nineties were
both starting a little show you might have heard of
called Family Matters. And for today we rewatched season one,
episode four of the show called Rachel's First Date and
this will be a fun one for you right Tooma.
Well that's what they say. We'll see about that. But
before we do that, what up, girl, what happened with
(00:56):
you this week?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Oh? Right, nothing? Nothing?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I have those weeks too is not a bad thing.
So nothing is good, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Though? I think I finally got into the place where
I don't need to be constantly entertained or doing something
to feel like my life is good and you feel
good about it?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Well, your time off for you is good. You got
two kids, exactly? Well, girl, I went to Atlanta. Now
you remember my sister, you met her at the party.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yes I do.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
She's all crippled now. She had the nerve to try
to step over a puddle of water, slipped, fell and
broke her ip. Okay, so she just got out of rehab.
I thought I'd take her out to one of her
favorite places in Atlanta. What was one of mind too,
because we love our seafood boil. So we were going
to Juicy Crab Girl. Oh, Juicy Crab got the best crabs, girl,
(01:48):
and corn and the whole bag, you know, you shake
it up and stuff.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
So we hobbled on in there.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
It took us about twenty minutes because you know, we
had to walk behind her in the walker. But once
we got there, got settled. I got my little spicy margarita.
My brother in law gott a beer, My sister got
a lemonade because she didn't drink, and we were all
just excited about our food.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Came.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
We were just about to open the bag. We had
a plastic gloves, a beb everything on. It turned into
a club, a DJ flight up. People started dancing in
the ice, swing their braids. AlOH my god, it was
not cute, okay, and we're all puzzled thinking, wait a minute,
what's going on. Then it quiets down after a couple
(02:28):
of minutes and we're thinking, Oh, he's just trying out
the equipment for later.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
No, it was karaoke time.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
When I tell you people need to stick to their
day job, that is exactly what I mean. You know,
it takes a talent for somebody to play something in
one key, and you can sing the entire song in
the wrong key.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Have been drunk. I loved it because I'd have been
cracking up.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
But girl, we had to pack up our food and
hobble on back out of there.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
It was so you became the sun and cow of
a crab shot.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
There you go, there you go, And couldn't act up
because I'd already been nice signing autographs and taking pictures
with people and stuff, so I had to have some
act right. So I just left because I knew I
wasn't gonna act right. Oh my gosh, and pay that
much money for food.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
But boy, the.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Crabs was juicy and really oh so that's my what up?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Girl? Oh? Oh wow? Do you remember the first time
you took me to eat creps? And you know, I'm
from Maryland and so we don't exactly use mallets.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
No, you don't use your teeth, We use hands and stuff.
It's just looking.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
At me like I was Dino from the Flintstones. Well,
you was like cracking the crab. You were like Kelly,
you're on TV. Calm down, step away from the crab.
Do you remember you're the first person I ever had
oysters with. You introduced me to oysters, you sure did.
That was my first time. I love them, love them,
love them. I introduced you to something, Yes, you did
(03:54):
a church. Don't forget about that. But that's another whole segment.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Let's talk about this segment where Rachel's getting her freak Well, no, no,
she's not getting a freak on Slow Down, Slow Down,
where they're trying to pry her out of the house,
I should say.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Today we're talking about Rachel's first date, which was the
fourth episode of the first season of the show. So
this was your big episode and it was your first
date after your character's husband had passed. Yes. So the
episode was written by Sally Lapidus and Pamela El's.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
And was directed by John Bohap, who, in another part
of my life, was the director that we made cry
on Bosom Buddies is this use guys, girl, use guys, girls,
use guys. That's him.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Every time I see his name, I have to giggle
because we were just horrible to him. Oh you used
to tease him so bad about that on the show.
Oh no, no, no, but tell that story really quick. Well,
it's just that when I was doing Bosom Buddies, it
was our first series together, me, Tom, Peter, Wendy, Donna, Holland. Well,
Holland was civilized, the rest of.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Us weren't, and we would just get into these silliness,
I mean, just being silly where we'd start laughing about
one thing and it would just escalate to the point
where we were basically hysterical and needed to be slapped.
And John was trying to direct us, and he was
trying to calm us down, but everything he said just
made us more tickle.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
So we were basically in hysteria and he was screaming.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
At us over the micro the bore he yelled at
it's the funnier it was to us.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
It was just a hot mess. Oh wow.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
And we finally calmed down, but it took him about
a half hour, but he was so red and done
with us, And I don't blame him. We had no kuth. Okay,
but it was fun.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
It's so fun. You were talking about it all those
years later on.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
Our show because I never made a director crap before.
Oh lord, okay, girl, they used to make you cry,
especially when you see those shots they took me later on.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Okay. So now on this episode, your character, who's a widow,
gets back into the dating pool. She get shoved back
into it. She didn't jump into it. Well, you are
a third wheel to the couple.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
In fact, if you look up third wheel in the dictionary,
you see a picture of Rachel right between Carl and
Harriet Grinnin. That's how much of a third wheel she
was and had no clue, just clueless. So what else
was happening in the world on that day?
Speaker 2 (06:21):
So the number one Billboard R and B chart album
was Rhythm Nation eighteen fourteen Jackson Your Girl Own, and
the number one Billboard Top two hundred was Forever Your
Girl by Paula Abdul, who was crazy for Janet Jackson.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Hey, the stock market experience a historic mini crash nicknamed
Black Friday. I remember that the Dow Jones fell by
one hundred and ninety points, which at that time was
the second largest one day percentage drop ever ever, and
that was Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Oh we praying for that kind of dropped these days. Yeah,
keep praying.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
So this was Julil's first, first, non first appearance on
Family Matters. So this was the first show after he
appeared on the show first Nope, nope, our correct team
found out he was in the show because his character
were so popular that they lifted pieces of the shows
(07:18):
where he was in the show and put him in
the front in the cold opening of show four. That
was the first one when actually his first show was
the twelfth show and the name of that show was
Laura's First Date, which kind of funny, but yeah, that
they lifted it and put it in there. That's why
there was no real introduction or anything. It shocked me
(07:40):
when I saw it because I was like, wait a minute,
I didn't know he was in the show that early, right,
I thought.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That too, because it was like the fourth episode. I
was like, I thought he didn't join the cast until
it was like the thirteenth episode.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
Correct, Now it was the twelfth. It was a twelfth okay,
and that is a funky fat up front. I wanted
to ask you, why did you use your middle name?
Was there another Kelly Williams in the guild.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Or yes, there are, there's another Kelly Williams. The one
that was on the white Kelly Williams is what we
call her.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I would have said, the other Kelly Williams, but okay,
we'll call her the white Kelly Williams.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Anyway, in the business, when you have the same name
as other people, they sometimes put things to differentiate you.
So I think I started using that because somebody else
had that name already. And my parents in the seventies,
smoking plenty of weed, they loved it because they love
I was gonna ask you, where did they come up
with the shandein Honey? How you think they came up
(08:34):
with Shanin? Oh? I don't want to know too much,
don't they I'm not gonna put them out there because
they upstand the citizens at this point.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
At this point, well they've worked at that then, because
they weren't when I knew them. In fact, none of
us were. Well, we keep getting sidetracked. Now, you kids
get to leave the house, right.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
All of the kids are going to be gone for
a sleepover. So Carl and Harriet decide they want to
go out for a lover's rendezvous and have a date night.
Do you have a.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Problem with your kids staying over at people's houses? Do
people still do that?
Speaker 2 (09:09):
No, they don't. That's like a new thing now where
that's like a huge no no. In these days and times,
sleepovers are basically for people that you are Maripolvich five
point DNA match close with. That's it. Yeah, So they
can stay over my parents' house, they can stay over
your house, right, they staying over nobody else house because
(09:31):
I don't want to have to go to jail.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
And you know it's not really I mean, I was
very particular, and so was Gerald back in the day.
I mean, he didn't want to stay with anybody. In fact,
there were times when I did get him to stay
over that I'd have to pack a lunch for him
because he had to have particulars, you know exactly. But
I think even then we were very mindful of who
he was with. He was always with family or somebody,
like you said, very very close to family.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Right.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Although I didn't mind kids staying over, and parents apparently
didn't mind that either, hear me, because they felt safe.
Oh girl, I used.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
To spend on this person's house, in this person's house,
other than that they can come over here.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Yes, and they would, and they would. I was wondering
about that because I know times are a lot different
and you just don't know where you can take them
and who you can trust with them anymore. You have
to be very, very, very very vigilant. And I think
again this is part of being like an old parent,
like you're afraid of everything. I'm watching the news and
I'm thinking they'll be to Mexico by the time I
(10:29):
even know what's going on. Should I put a plan
in them so that I could track them.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
To the better? Put a tracker on them. Girls, put
a tracker on them, right? Oh man?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Yeah, that was nice and they were so excited and
of course they were going to just have this moment
to themselves. I actually get a call from a gentleman for.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Days from the church. From church.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yes, And obviously he's not ringing my chimes because I
keep dodging and lie to him saying that I've got
so much to do.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Hang up.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
As soon as they say they're going out, I want
to know what they're doing. I got nothing to do.
Let me just find out a mother winslow and keep
Ritchie and away I go, and I get to pick
the movie. I kick a romantic movie. The three of
us correct. But I want to call you attention to
something else that I've been noticing as I watch every episode.
(11:23):
When I say you was dressed down, Oh my god,
don't be hating. No, I'm not hating, but I mean,
clearly the starving Artist had a personal cell phone number
of Carl Lagefeld and mister Jivon, She and everybody else,
Gucci and everybody else.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Because when I say you was put.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Together, and you know, I mean, I have to give
it to Gina, Gina Trekana. She did her thing on
this seeing now, I mean she was mixing patterns before
that was even a thing. I was watching the black
and white out. It was so cute with the saddle shoes.
Wait a minute, the saddle shoes had read. I'm sure
they weren't lubs, but they had the bottoms they did.
(12:05):
I think she got a lot of fun out of
dressing me, and probably those things look more expensive than
they were because there were a bunch of them. Spell Honey,
that stuff was expensive, or at least you had the
Tailor of Life. Well, we did have the Tailor of life.
We had ABC at our disposal, right, No, well the
whole Warner Brother's team. Old girl, stop it. But I
did love how she dressing this episode. You get to
(12:26):
see her in her Annie houllish kind of dress and
then you get to see her really dressed as a
grown up, which is nice. Ye, Gina was good. I
got to give it to her. You were so funny
in this episode. You are just the loudest mouth. You
want to tell everybody's business. She got something to say
about it, ain't said you?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I mean we're ragging on everybody? Well, no, you know.
They wanted me to be like a mini version of
Joe Marie baby and if you ain't bringing it baby,
you ain't it. Honey would bring it hot. And then
she was oh this episode you were so funny.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
Man, your takes on stuff for a kid, you are harsh.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
You are harsh. Yeah, well she was the mini mom.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Yeah she was. She was very much that so. Kelly,
you were a new actress coming in. This is something
I was wondering about. You were given a lot of
responsibility on the show. I mean, you were a smart
ass let's say that flat out right, But it's not
always easy to take on that kind of character. Did
you find it easy because it was written so well?
You're from theater, so you had already done theater, which
(13:32):
was something I didn't do until I was way over twelve.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Over twelve?
Speaker 3 (13:38):
So do you think that kind of gave you the
platform where you knew how to deliver the lines? Was
it that the lines were written so well it was
easy for you because they say if it's not on
the page, it's not on the stage, right. Did you
find that a lot of responsibility or did you just
have fun with it?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Well? No, I think once you're trained in theater, you
usually just look for the rhythm and then you just
jump in like double Dutch rope. And we were really
surrounded by really seasoned performers, So when you approach something
like that, you already know that you have to bring
your a game one. But it's easy to have a
soft landing when you're dealing with professionals.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Well, you certainly had the wherewithal to keep up with
each and every one of us, and coming from theater,
like I said, I didn't do theater until I was
good and grown so I didn't have that kind of background.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
But I mean you were on the stage singing, so
that's you're still emoting.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Yeah, but it's different since I have done theater now,
it's a little different because you are affecting the audience.
When you're singing. The audience sometimes is singing along with you.
They're into your rhythm on stage. I think you have
to find the rhythm right.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
But I think it's also again, I can't say enough
about the adults on the show. You guys were so
responsible in the way that you guys handled us.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
And we were so glad to have a job. Come on, man,
we can keep us on the air. Listen, baby, say
this right, and I say it again, exactly.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Right, come on.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
I mean that was the lesson for me with having
Steve come on the show and be so popular. You
have to make a choices. I remember saying at one time, well,
whatever keeps us on the air works for me.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
I didn't always like it because the show I felt
was our show when we started and that we had
a strong presence there. But the bottom line was what
is going to keep this show on air? Because ultimately
the audience picks who they want sure, it's the audience play,
and we had to let our egos take a back seat,
(15:42):
you know, being done with the season performance.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
And you know what, but when you were a strong performance,
you definitely don't want to be the weak link. Absolutely,
so you say them lines and do it right the
first time.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Otherwise we didn't have any week links. So even though
Judy's character didn't get a chance to do a lot,
when she did get a chance to do it, she
did her kid. Yeah, so we had a very talented cast. Well,
let's face it, Bye boy Ed and Tom Miller with
no novices at creating dynamic casts.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
That they had done it over and over and over again.
When people set up a rhythm, it's easy to join
if you know how to play the instrument. It's got
to do his catch. So you guys made it easy
for us.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Oh well, I'm glad you all certainly made it easier
for us, because I've been on some of those shows
where the kids yikes, just not a lot of fun
because I can't beat him up a little whey I want.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
To maybe, Okay, but let's get back to the episode.
Because when you get back from dinner with Carl and
Harriet they decided to talk to you about your third willness.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
Yes they do, and a very real well. And of
course Carl, the author of subtle tactfulness, wants to be
the one to say something, and as soon as he
does come out of his mouth, he hurts my feelings.
But she deserves it. She is just oblivious to everything,
and she forces him into it. But Carl just doesn't
(17:09):
know how to stop. You know, he'll step at it,
then he'll get his other foot, put that in it,
and if he can't, possibly dive into the hole that
he's digging at the same time. And I love the
way it's an acknowledgment of he helped put her in
that position because he was the one that was always
you know, well, no, we can't leave her at home, No,
we have to take her. We don't want her feeling lonely.
And so he kind of made his own monster that
(17:32):
he's dealing with now.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
But in his tactlessness, he actually convinces the character to
go on the date with Alan, which was what moves
her into actually accepting poor Allan's proposal. We call him
poor Alan, Poor Alan. Listen, let's be frank. Rachel was
all over the place.
Speaker 3 (17:54):
Okay, she's not well. She's suffering from trauma, a lot
going on, she needs hell. But you know what, I
loved their choice for Alan. I thought Peter Fitzsimmons, I
believe is his name. Wherever you are, you were wonderful.
I didn't know enough about acting to realize how good
(18:15):
he was because he underplayed everything, which made it even funnier.
Really like the way with Eddie and the two's I
mean the cards with you with the singing. I really
love the way he played that character. So shout out
to you wherever you are.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Okay now, Also, did you peep your workout outfit that eighties? Baby?
That body was over Yes.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
If anybody wants to know how I feel about looking
at myself all snatched.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Overpressed.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
This pre bad knees, pre bad hip, pre bad everything.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Baby.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
Yeah, I was snatched back in the day and it
was easy to stay snatched.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Wow. I have to literally wrap tape around to get
it snatched. Oh please, honey, you're still looking good. You're
talking to somebody who's all button good, so cut it out.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Well, the butt pot is always good, so don't worry
about that. I'm sure our husband isn't our husband, our husband.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I love it, Okay. So when she comes back in
from the gym, she gets a call from Alan, right,
and so what does she decide to do?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
She doesn't really decide to do anything. She doesn't have
a choice. She's forced into it with Harriet sitting basically
on her shoulder. She can't even lie good. So she
has to accept, which for her may not seem like
a big deal, but it's a huge step for her,
and that is kind of why she goes off to
feed the baby that she leaves with her brother in
(19:48):
law and comes back to get a bag and still
leaves a baby.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Right. It's a big turning point for her.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Karl makes the point of saying, you know, it's been
a year and a half, but if you've lost a
loved one, a year and a half really is not
a lot of time. And I've not gone through that
kind of loss, but I can't imagine not saying it
wouldn't be but that in a year and a half
I would be ready to do anything. So it doesn't
seem like it's that big a deal, but for comedy
it is. So we get to enjoy that part of
(20:14):
it and make it something that's enjoyable and entertaining as
opposed to totally depressing.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
Okay, so the date night comes and she can't decide
what's she going to win.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
That's just an excuse, right, Okay, She's just really trying
to figure out how she cannot go and stall long
enough where maybe he gets sick of waiting on her
and leaves voluntarily. Of course, none of that happens, but
Judy and Mother Winslow come home, and of course there's
always that moment in our show where Carl's made a
mess of his attempt.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Harry is trying. She's sick of me.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
One of my favorite lines in the show when she's
upstairs and I've changed clothes and I hate everything that
I'm wearing and I tell her I can't do it.
I just can't do it, and she says, An is
down there with our kids.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
He deserves something like wowsis selling me out much? Well?
Did you see the scenes of him enduring the motel review,
the magic tricks, the card trick? That's what I mean.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
He was so funny because his humor was so subtle.
He did not pounce on anything and make it a joke,
which made it even funnier.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
Did you also notice how like I love the scenes
where we kept going back and forth to Rachel's bedroom,
which was like a sweep from Dynasty. This house is
a row house, I'm telling Chicago. And meanwhile you laid
up like Deverroux on the bed, laid out with a
pussy cat and a fir and not a crib to
(21:49):
be seen in the room. So I'm not sharing. No,
you're not sharing. No, Eddie's in the attic. Judy is
upstairs somewhere. So the house was a clown car.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
It was you go upstairs and then it stretches back
two blocks, correct. I mean it is ridiculous because every
time you see a room with us in it, it's like,
how can.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
They have that many rooms?
Speaker 3 (22:12):
And I mean Mother Winslow's room downstairs looks like a
little doorway and then you walk in and there it's
like an entire suite with an all sweet bathroom.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
Listen this, you come from a town that has those
row houses. You know it ain't but that be you
be in somebody else's house. You have walked out of
your house and into somebody else's. They take a bath.
That part, Yeah, that was funny. I got a kick
out of that. So Mother Winsworo comes up to talk to.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Yeah, there's always that moment when someone in the show
is about to impart some wisdom and again demonstrate why
this family unit works so well. It's because they are
all in the business of loving and helping and supporting
and encouraging their family members. And of course Mother Winslow,
(22:59):
who who has lived a very full life and lost
a husband, would be the one to be able to
decipher things that even Rachel isn't quite in touch with.
She just doesn't want to do it. She doesn't want
to face the fact that she's a widow. She doesn't
want to face the fact that her life is never
going to be the same, and she doesn't have peace
(23:22):
with it because she doesn't know how to. And so
it's a wonderful moment when Rosetta comes in and just
sits on a bit. It's so funny. She says, can
I talk to her? And Carl Yeah, goes sit on
the edge of the bed. I mean, he is just
in the way all the time. But her conversation with
(23:42):
Mother Winslow actually bade me tear up, you know, because
I haven't watched the shows like that. So I'm watching
it as an audience, and I just thought that that
was a really good scene because there were people and
still are people who have lost a loved one, who
have lost a maid or a child, don't feel comfortable
(24:02):
enjoying life after that because you have this feeling that
somehow you're being disloyaled, somehow you're not honoring them if
you go on living the way you did before. So
I really loved that message, and I love the way
A Mother Winslow brought it, and I especially loved the
fact that she was sneaking around dating and nobody knew
(24:24):
that she was a floozy in real life. I just
love the dynamic of those moments with it.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
I guess I wasn't paying attention when I was younger,
but like now rewatching it. Black women are so dope.
Say it again, They're so dope how they just know
how to get things done. They always know what to
do when and know what to say when it's necessary.
You so like that too. You always got something in
the bank for everybody else. It's like some kind of
guyser with love and joy. There's always a well that
(24:54):
is so dull to me. Yeah, hope, I get that.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
You know, black women have had to do more than
the average bear, even with the mate a lot of times.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
So we're strong. We're strong, we're tough, and we are
dope as you put it. I don't know if you've
been paying attention to the socials though, that a lot
of young black women are like, listen, baby, I'm trying
to be about that soft life. I ain't trying to
go up the rough side of the mountain. No, mo,
that's over with. What's that song? Go to get the
(25:23):
bacon fried in the pan? Do all this?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
And no, they ain't doing Hell and ready and all
those people ain't doing those songs. Listen telling the man
to go get the frying pan and the bacon and
cook it and bring it here.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Is that what you're saying? You know my saying? Look,
do you want dinner or sex? You do say that? Listen.
My husband knew exactly. I didn't hide a thing. This
is exactly what you get and he did it anyway.
I ain't getting this stuff in the heaven. I don't care.
I'll take it. Girl. You are sick. Okay, Back to
(25:57):
the story. Back to the story. We come down and
we see Rachel finally decides to descend down from her
palatial situationship of Stevens, and again she's snatched. I was snatch.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
I like that outfit. I didn't take more clothes. I
got to learn something. But yeah, I like the way
it came together at the end. I liked his line
thank you for a fascinating.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
Evening.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
And you know what else made really laugh was well,
I always laugh when Carl gets his face broken. But
the whole thing with him telling Alan mentioned my name
is Shade Joseph Fie.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
It's the only way.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
You can get My family owns restaurant, and its it.
You know, women are just liked doctors. You know they
always chied you arm in the league and always late.
Doctors late get He's like I do, I am a
doctors and Carl face when he gets busted like that
(27:02):
is so funny.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
So is there any advice that you think, Rachel or
you would give single moms about dating. It's hard.
Speaker 3 (27:12):
It's hard when you have a child because that child
is always going to come first, and all men can
handle that. So if you come into a situation with
a child, there is that you can't just be with
me you've got to be with my child as well.
And if you can't handle that, then it doesn't work.
Now for me because I was an actress and in
(27:34):
that world, I also found it harder because you just
don't know if people like you, or they like your character,
or they like what you do or anything like that.
But I would say, don't jump in too quick. Always
ask about a person, Just talk to them, because you
can learn a lot. Women are very intuitive. You can
learn a lot about a person just talking to him.
(27:56):
I can usually figure out in five or ten minutes
whether we're actually going to go on a date or
I'm gonna get sick that night.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
Really, m I can work it, girl. So what a minute?
So when you decide that you sick, suddenly, what happens?
Then I'm sick. I have to go to bed right then.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
Usually I try to get sick before the date, so
at least he hasn't driven all the way over now
in the date. Let me just ask you something because
I had one of these stories too.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Well.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
Have you ever had an awful, awful date? Maybe a
first date, a blind date? H O, I think I
really like him date and he turns out to be
not what you thought I can.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Be pretty socially awkward, so you probably should have asked
my dates.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Oh you could be social Wait a minute, let me
think about this. You can be socially awkward.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Well, you don't know that because you loved me, so
it's covered. Listen, these are rose cold glasses with you.
Everybody else like this chick is a weird All. Well,
I know you're weird, but I just accepted and love
you anyway. Well, I had one you want me to
tell you about mine, please, and it was out here.
It was a blind date. Now I've had two blind dates.
The first one was at home.
Speaker 3 (29:03):
I was a youngin like twenty one, old enough to
drink but shouldn't have been drinking, and there was a
girl at motown. She just really wanted me to go
out with her brother, so she finally talked me into it,
and I went out with some friends of ours, Eric
and Mona were driving, and we went to a house
party and I wanted a rum and coke because that
was like the drink. Well, somebody made the rum and coke,
(29:26):
but they did it with one fifty one rum, which
is like a rum times four hundred, So I had
one drink. And immediately just became a belligerent drunk. So
we get in the car. We're going to the next party,
and he decides, since I'm drunk, maybe he can get
a feel on and so Eric's like clocking him on
(29:49):
the back mirrors, kind of watching what he's doing. And
he said he was just getting ready to reprimand him
when he saw me looking really really crazy. I just
turned around, looked the guy and threw up all over him.
I threw up all over him. And they couldn't take
(30:09):
me home because you know, it was my grandmother and
they were scared of her. So Eric took me to
his mom's house to try to clean the guy up,
clean me up, sober me up before he took me home.
So he took me in the bathroom, sat me on
the tub next to the toilet. But every time they
would let go of me, I would just fall in
the tub and they'd see my boots hanging over the side.
Then I started screaming still here. Oh, I just went
(30:33):
completely off, and then I think I blacked out because
the next memory I have was waking up in my
bed in my grandmother's house. I had on everything that
I had on when I left the house boots, coat hat.
They snuck me back in the house, but they said
they were so afraid that she would wake up that
they just put me in the bed and just covered
(30:54):
me up to my neck. And I woke up. I
was still drunk. I've never been that drunk ever.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Again. It was horrible, but funny story and a true story.
Can I say something, You're actually too pretty for that story.
Oh well, I wasn't then. I wasn't there. I wouldn't
have never guessed that. Yeah, I know, that's what makes
it funny. People think I'm serious, sophistic hed to do. Yes,
(31:19):
you are. I had to grow into it. Well. I
was young and dumb and having fun.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
You know.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
He didn't, and that wool asked me out again.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
I was like, well, let me go get some one
fifty one so I can entertain you.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Oh no, I never went out with him again. I'm sure. Yeah,
that's well, that's my story since you didn't have one.
I know, I don't remember if you remember, I didn't
think that much.
Speaker 3 (31:43):
Yeah, I guess not now I better think on it.
And then when you went back home, I don't know
what you were doing. I do know you hooked a husband,
So I was there for that. I do know about that, right,
I want to ask you about our husband.
Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yes, how did you two meet? My friend Laurie had
a best friend, and who had a friend, Hannah lur
Our LORI okay, you know, lord, the friend goes, Hey,
I think my friend Hannibal will be a good mate
for Kelly. Let's hook him up. So we're talking on
the phone for a little while. We finally got together
and we never separated after that. We were together for
(32:18):
like two years straight, all the time, every day. And
I tell you how we I mean, we will end
up becoming a couple. Like about maybe three weeks in,
I was sitting there with him, and I was enjoying
his company, and I said, today you're my boyfriend, or
this will be our last conversation. Kelly, there is something
seriously wrong that works with you. God. Well, no, he
(32:43):
had been telling you all these stories about how he
dated this person and that person and how he's not
with them and this and that. Listen, honey, I listen
very well. People tell the story. So I mean I
was enjoying his company, he was enjoying my company. How
you wanna keep it enjoying my company, and this isn't
going anywhere. No, I'm not the type of person that
befriends people that you really like and they want to
(33:03):
stay they buddy while they date somebody Else's a girlfriend
who does that. It's so I don't get that. I
don't get that she's like their best friend and they
talked to her about all of their girlfriends. I'm like, girl,
you crazy.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, there's something wrong with that because you know that's
hurting her feelings every time it happens.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
You never get over that. And then she calls me crying.
By y'all, I ain't got it. You should have told
them what was going on off front.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
So I'm gathering that Hannibal's answer was yes, you are
my girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Was there any other answer?
Speaker 3 (33:35):
I was beginning to think there might be. You took
such a long calls. You're kind of scared me that
I got a little heart flood of going home, Annibal.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
I'm gonna have to call you, baby. She looking crazy.
Time of some jewelry. Listen easy oozy be together.
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Oh so cute too. What a great wedding that was,
Thank you, Carol, thank you. It was so much fun.
I had such a good time. It was weird though,
seeing you as a married woman. Somehow, in my mind
even now, it's hard for me to think of you
as an adult.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
It's like you'll always be my kid, you know. It's
so weird because in my mind, you're still the same
Tuma that I met when I was eleven.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
Also, I think that's part of what I enjoy so much.
That was a hard adjustment for me when you left
town because you've been around me since you were twelve,
and all of a sudden you were gone. I couldn't
go over to your house, still over to your condo.
That kind of was not I couldn't go over and
see you. We couldn't talk. Well, we could talk, but
it was hard that first year or so that you
(34:36):
were gone that I couldn't just go or you couldn't
just come and see me.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah, I missed you. Yeah, But you know what I
love is that when I talk to you, baby, it's
a second of time that has passed. That's love that
I love you. So I really love this episode because
we got a chance to really deal with how people
deal with grief. Yeah, how do you deal with it?
(35:02):
Or do you ever really fully process or do you
just live with the person there, kind of like the
movie Beloved, where the person is not physically there, but
there's still that feeling of the spirit that still lives
with you. How do you deal with it?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Well, in the last probably fifteen years, I lost my grandmom,
you know, who raised me. That was difficult. And then
seven years later I lost my mom.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
Thank God.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
I've never lost a child, but I have a friend
who went through that kind of grief. That kind of
grief I don't know that you ever get over. When
my grandmother died she was ninety four, I didn't want
her to die. I didn't want her to go, but
she had a full life. She got to do the
things that she wanted to do. She got to travel,
(35:51):
she got to sucker me out all my money practically
while she was alive on clothing and that sort of thing.
But I could accept her death because it was expected
at some point a child. I don't know that you
ever get over that kind of grief. I think it's
something that you have to learn to live with because
(36:12):
there are so many things that you will not experience
when you lose a child. Say if you lose your daughter,
her growing up dating her first love, getting married, having children.
There are so many things that you miss out on
that from the moment you had that child, that's what
you're thinking of, I'm going to be a grandma someday.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
There's all that stuff that's built in.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
I would think that with losing a child, that's something
you would have to learn to live with the loss
of my grandmother, loss of my stepdad, the loss of
my uncle, the loss of my mom. All those deaths
were hard, but I could deal with them because I
had a life with them, and they had a full life.
(36:57):
I think that's a little different. What about you. Have
you experienced anything like that?
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I have. I come from a huge family, and so
oftentimes in my family we have cousins that are like
they helped to raise you. You didn't have babysitters. You
have older cousins. Absolutely, and one of my older cousins
has and it hasn't gotten any easier. Every time I
think about her, every time I think about, like you said,
all of the things that I assumed that we would
(37:24):
do and see and be together, it's not there. I
wrestle with that because you have to not be so
attached to your own idea of what you think life
should be because it takes so many turns. But the
thought of her not being here is like devastating to
everything I thought life would be. Is life without that
(37:47):
person there? I get it, I get it.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
I mean I think about my son's uncle, who was
only thirty three when he passed. To be so young,
he was such a vital part of both my family
and his family, and I still think about how different
things would have been had he lived. But you do
have to go on. You have to press on, not
(38:11):
just because you have a family and all of that
and other people that are looking for you to be
there for them, but you want to live for them
as well.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
My grandmother was so incredibly proud.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
I mean not at first because she didn't want me
to go off and be a singer and all that
crazy stuff. She wanted me to stay in college and
go be a business administrator. But she was so proud
of me because she taught me to have my own
mind and that went against what she wanted a lot
of the time. But she was so proud of what
I did with my decision, just how it affected all
(38:46):
of us, the joy that she got from it. I
know she would want me to keep doing that, keep
making her proud.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
Do you ever feel her with you?
Speaker 3 (38:53):
Like I think whenever you think about them sometimes that
they might be around you. But I haven't had one
of those where you're sleeping and if they're standing at
the foot of the bed or nothing like that, because
I probably have light hair if that. But I think
all the people that you love you feel around you.
(39:21):
So you arrived back home and Harriet and Carlo on
the porch are safe space, right because in a couple
of episodes that's usually where they wind up, you know,
talking everything out and the whole episode coagulates.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Was that a space for you growing up too? Because
for us, we used to sit on the porch and
watch the rain. Oh god, yes, girl.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
In Detroit, we were on the porch as soon as
it got fifty four degrees. We were sitting out there
with the sweater and it was really like you watch
the whole world go by your neighborhood. And we were
out there from early in the morning the evening. You
would sit out there, you would eat, you are you drink,
talk about each other. But it was a social gathering.
(40:05):
It was a social place, and I think on family matters.
It was our safe place. And you'll see that in
several episodes, not just with Carl and Harriet, but with
Mother Winslow with herself, that there's a sort of soft
landing on that porch, and when she comes home, she
knows where to find them. And it's nice to kind
(40:26):
of wrap up that segment. You get to see that
dating wasn't such a bad thing after all, and I
might have even sort of enjoyed it. I think we're
all like that to let them know that she was
home and that she was okay. But yeah, the porch
for me growing up was like our place. We had
a porch downstairs, and we lived in a duplex, so
(40:46):
we had a porch upstairs too, And I mean you
could flag everything that was going on in the neighborhood,
and so could our parents because oh yeah, when we'd
be trying to hide out and stuff, they could always
hit that arrant network of porches and find out.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
Exactly where we were. Damn it boiled again.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
You'll see Kelly down there doing so oh child, uh huh, see,
I'm gonna get her when she got why, I'll get
a while she's down here, right, Everybody fussing at you
all the way home and bed going home.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
You know, you what you were supposed to do. You
know that porch was like a watchtower at a prison.
That's where you see everything. Yeah, you really did, You
really did. But I don't know.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
It was such a wonderful part of growing up because
there was that sense of community because it wasn't just
you on the porch, it was everybody they had a
porch was on the porch.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
Correct. Those are great memories for me.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
I really enjoyed that, except you know when my mom
was out there acting crazy, because she did that every
now and again too.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
My mother would do some stuff child.
Speaker 3 (41:48):
One time, this is when my son was a baby,
he was in a walker and we had an upstairs
that had been an attic but they had made it
into a bedroom and he was up there and he
for some reason and he was getting his walker. Used
to love to back up and running to the wall.
He would hit the wall and bounce back in the walker,
and he just thought that was just the funnest thing
(42:09):
in the whole wide world. Well, one time he backed up,
missed the entire wall and went down the steps in
the walker. I swear to god, I don't know where
my mother was. It was like she appeared out of nowhere.
She caught him before he hit the bottom of the steps,
and then went running out the door, running down the
street with him and the walker. Go and run her
(42:31):
to the hospital. I guess I don't know where she
was going. He wasn't even hurt. He was looking at
her like, what are you doing? Had on my stepdad's
house shoes. She's just slapping down the street and we're
come back. He's okay, oh wow, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Let me tell you something. Tell me your stories always
take an interesting turn, like it'll start off real, like normal,
real normal text. Seeing you know, a baby in a walker,
it's a ping pong? What my mother?
Speaker 3 (43:00):
She panicked quick. Oh, there was nothing calm about her
spirit when something was happening. She just went with what
And we're driving. She's still running down the street and
we're just getting the car. Let's go get her, you know. Well,
but with the entire walker. She didn't take a baby
out of the walker. No, she running with the baby
in the walker down the street. My mother was five
to one, if she was that really five to one,
(43:23):
and she flapping down the street I.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Bet my grandbaby's gonna be okay. I don't know about
them crazy mama who got the baby running down the
steps with all this foolishness.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
But believe you me, if she had to run to
the hospital with him, that's what she was fair and
determined to do.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
We didn't even know she could run anyway. That's all
we got for this week. Yep.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
I have so enjoyed this. I just love seeing you
talking to you. I love our audience. Thank you all
so much for just hanging in there with us all
these years and just giving us this platform.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
We are so so so great. Bulk. That's it for
this week, but stay tuned. Yeah, we're gonna rewatch each
episode of Family Matters week by week, so make sure
to rewatch the show right along with us. You can
catch it on Hulu and TVs and a bunch of
other places.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Welcome to the Family with Telma and Kelly is a
production of iHeart Podcasts and Audiation. It's hosted by me
Tlma Hopkins and me Kelly Williams. Our executive producers are
Sandy Smallings for Audiation, Adam rip JD Hopkins, who also
happens to be my Son and Kelly's fobro and Jonathan
Strickland for iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
The show was produced by Telma and I, but our
series producer is Ireland Meachen and our theme songs lyrics
were written by j. D. Hopkins and Adam Ripped. The
theme song was scored and mixed by Matt Noble, who's
also our series mixer.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
And we'd like to thank Nikki e Tour and the
entire iHeart Podcast team.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Follow us on Instagram
at what Become to the Family Pod for behind the
scenes photos and more bonus content.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
And don't forget to leave us a voicemail at our website,
thefamilymatterspod dot com. We want to hear your thoughts and
favorite memories of the show and let us know if
you need advice, because we're good for some bad advice.
Speaker 2 (45:15):
We might be able to help you with your own
Family Matters and make sure to rate and review us
wherever you're listening. We are so excited to have you
guys along for the ride.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
Yes, Welcome to the family, y'all, and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
Welcome to the Familie
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Audiations ass
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