May 21, 2025 • 50 mins
Former LPGA golfer Jane Park joins the Par-Tee to share her heartfelt journey from a successful golf career to facing unexpected challenges with her daughter Grace's severe medical condition. She gets candid about her sudden and heartbreaking transition from being a touring professional to full-time caregiver, the resilience she finds in Grace’s determined battles, and the day-to-day experiences in caring for her. Plus, Jane shares what it was like returning to the golf course after years away.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So for those of you who are listening watching what
have you? I try and rally up my talents myself
a lot of times. And when I DMed you, I'm
not kidding, guys, I sent a screenshot full of words
of like heartfelt words asking her to be on my
pod and like I miss her and like I look
(00:21):
up to you and this and that, and then her
response was, oh my gosh, cool, do I have to
dress up?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I was like, I washed my hair for you today. Yeah,
that's like a once a week. I'm so honored. I
was like sick response, I was like tearing up.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
What is going on? Friends? Welcome back to Welcome to
the part. Now, before I actually get into my guest
for this episode, which I am so excited for, I
actually want to take the time to share a little
bit about my own experiences. So to be very honest,
when I first began this podcast, I didn't feel very
comfortable sharing things just about me and just talking about me.
(01:13):
I wanted to make this podcast solely about other guests,
to create a platform for them to raise other women
up that are total badasses in this world. However, it
has been brought to my attention by listeners which thank
you all so much for those who have shared so
much love for me. I've been getting a lot of
feedback saying, like, you know, we want to hear more
about you, and so I thought, why not try and
(01:34):
share a story or two. And one of the most
common questions I get asked whenever I do a ask
me anything or get to know me is why do
I leave professional golf? For those of you who don't
know a little bit about my background, I've been playing
golf since I was three, started competing when I was seven,
and then I played on a full ride scholarship to
cal State Fullerton Ury Professional right after and so that
(01:54):
was from twenty fifteen to twenty eighteen that I played professionally.
I did decent. I was top on the Mini tour circuit,
on the money list, I got my Symmetric Tour carve,
which is now called the EPSOM Tour, and I really
gave it all. I got where I felt like all
I could in that moment. And the first real reason
why I left was because it's so freaking expensive. And
(02:14):
not to say that it's not for the men's tour,
but for it's it's just hard and the money and
the purse, especially at the time, was so weak. I
mean we're talking about five hundred to seven hundred and
fifty dollars entry fees, and then your first place prize
was like twenty five hundred, two thousand dollars. I have
a big check in you know, one of my old
trophy rooms that says my first prize was like eighteen
(02:37):
hundred dollars. And to me, I thought, I was bawling. Yeah,
totally not like if you miss a cut and you
have a bad week, that's the money you lose, like
eighteen hundred dollars. And you know, qualifying school is five grand,
and there is not really there's no prize to that
unless you actually win the whole entire thing. And so
what was funny was that when I went through an
injury for the first time, I went through a string
(02:57):
of I think three bad events. I didn't make three
cuts and I lost basically like that four grand in
those three events, and I thought, holy shit, this is
not a good place to be. Like I thought, I
was balling. Now I am poor. And so that was
reason number one. Now reason number two, which I'm sure
many of you guys can guess, is that social media
came into the picture right out of the gate when
(03:18):
I came out of college. And I'm sure you're gonna
know the same. My friend, my dear friend, Paige Renee,
started to pop off in twenty fifteen and she was
getting sponsors from Callaway and all these big people doing ads,
and of course, funny enough, my first professional golf event,
I was paired with Paige Renee. We actually grew up
playing a lot of golf together and playing in the
same field. So she was always a phenomenal golfer. She's
(03:40):
a great golfer. She played for STSU and so when
we played together, and she basically told me, like, why
don't you do this social media thing? And I didn't
really care for it. I didn't believe in it. I
was always kind of taught my whole life like you know,
if you work hard, you'll you'll get what is coming
for you in the best way. But then I realized,
like I had to back myself financial and maybe this
(04:01):
may be a tool that can help me, and so
I dove in. I knew I was also always creative
and extroverted, and you know, I love to dance. I
could do these trick shots and whatnot. And I started
to implement that into my social media in an effort
to fund my career, and then I found a lot
of joy in it as well. And so it came
to the point where, you know, I really just wanted
(04:23):
one person to notice my game. I wanted one person
to notice my swing. Maybe give me some golf clubs,
maybe give me some clothes, because I was rocking my
college gear for how long. And it turned out to
be even way better than that. I started getting approached
by brands like Kia At and t who I'm still
you know, partnered with now to this day. And it
came to the point where I didn't want to take
(04:44):
that check and then bring it towards an entry fee,
Like why would I take this amazing check and then
go put five hundred to seven hundred and fifty dollars
into an entry fee? And also like truthfully, like the
moment that you don't set your eyes on being a
professional anymore, to me, it's just impossible, like you have
to be so one track minded to be amazing as
a professional golfer. Because for me, the moment I thought
(05:05):
social media can be a career, that was when professional
golf really took a turn for me, and I was
already walking the fairways with like Danielle king Lydia Coe,
you know Lexi Thompson for being a host in a
social media personality, and I knew immediately when I saw
them play, like can I hit those shots? Absolutely? Do
I have that discipline? Yes, if I wanted to. Do
(05:25):
I have that mental game?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Do I have that drive anymore?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Do I actually want this? No? And in twenty eighteen,
that's when I really took the time and said I'm
gonna walk away. So the last reason is, you know,
real life hit me. I went through quite a few hardships.
Now this one I'm about to say I haven't really
shared very much of. And I for seven years went
(05:51):
through a very difficult relationship in terms of I had
a verbally abusive swing coach, and that was really tough
for me because I didn't know that I was in
a situation like that. It felt normal. And I was
also again in a place where I needed to financially
take care of myself professionally as a professional golfer, and
I was offered free training and free lessons, and so
(06:12):
I didn't really feel like I had another another choice really,
and I really felt like that the education was way
more valuable compared to the treatment that I was receiving.
It just became very much like if you don't do well,
or if you don't do this, or if you can't
achieve this shot, then you will never make it on
the fucking LPGA tour and things like that, where it
(06:33):
really got to the point where it evolved into PTSD
and involved into not really ever believing in myself. I
was playing golf out of a lot of fear and
when I turned professional and I want a couple times
on the Mini Toaur circuit. I know it may not
seem like a lot to some people, but to me,
it was more than enough to prove that I could
do it without this swing coach. And I think there
(06:54):
was something that just clicked and was like, I don't
even think I want to do this. It doesn't make
me happy. What makes me happy is, you know, being
creative and being fun and bringing smile to people's faces
and showing people how fun golf is. Winning doesn't mean
anything to me, especially when you're so alone the whole time.
Golf is such a lonely sport. You're trained by yourself,
you travel by yourself, and it just wasn't me, and
(07:16):
so that was really tough hardship. We can go into
that story a little more another day. And then, of course,
the second hardship was I was figuring out my sexuality
through it all, So talk to me about, you know,
difficulty while trying to turn pro like those were two
very difficult things. All the while trying to make a
putt for a check. I wasn't in a place of
(07:37):
really being you know, welcome in my home anymore because
my sexuality really through a wrench in things. And I
was also exploring a new actual relationship and it just
you know, for me, there are some people who can
really separate personal life and their professional life when it
comes to their game, and I was not one of them.
(07:58):
My personal life really really really took a toll on
my golf game, and I had to ultimately walk away.
And social media was kind of like my outlet. Wow,
that got really deep, really fast. And guess what, this
episode with my next guest is only going to get deeper.
But I hope you all feel a little bit closer
to me in that way. So let me take the
time to introduce my next guest. I am so honored
(08:20):
to welcome someone who is deeply loved on the LPGA Tour,
not just for her incredible game, but for her heart,
her humor, and the light that she brings wherever she goes.
So let me tell you about my friend Jane. Jane
rose to national prominence in the early two thousands, dominating
amateur golf and going on to spend fifteen amazing years
on the LPGA Tour. She stepped away briefly in twenty
(08:41):
twenty to welcome her daughter, Grace, and returned to competition
the very next year, But in an instant, her world
completely changed. Her daughter Grace began experiencing unexplained brain seizures,
and Jane made the decision to leave golf to care
for her daughter full time. Now, what she shares in
this episode is extremely wrong, extremely powerful, and deeply moving.
(09:02):
We talk about motherhood, identity, resilience, and the kind of
strength that no one can really train for. Jane's story
is a reminder of how quickly life can change, how
strong a mother's love is, and how community and compassion
carry us through the unimaginable. I am so thankful she
joined me to share her truth, and I know her
words will stay with you, just like they did with me.
(09:23):
Without further ado, please welcome my dear friend Jane Park
to the party. I'm so excited to have you. Oh
my god, we haven't seen each other in so long
twenty nineteen nineteen.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Maybe yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Okay, wow, Well we're gonna dive in and we're just
gonna get to know you today. And we always start
with some fun, rapid fire questions. Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So you're playing golf with three celebs? Who's in your crew?
Good be girls?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Boys, doesn't matter. I would have to say Tiger for sure,
but two thousands Tiger. Honestly, I would go with my
friend Tift Joe. She's a celebrity, right she We love Tiff, Yeah,
we love Tiff Okay, and then probably Sari Sari Pack.
Oh okay, I love that you chose all golfers.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, I like it. You know what, no one's gonna
slow you down?
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
All right. So it's a Jane Park karaoke night. You're
doing a power ballad or full rap verst with choreo,
nineties hip hop and everything. Okay, I love it. Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Would you rather accidentally hit your playing partner with a
golf ball or accidentally call them the wrong name for
all of eighteen holes?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Oh? Man, I've done that in a pro am before.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
But that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, because you meet a lot of I've met a
lot of pro and partners. I'd rather hit my playing partners.
Make for a good story.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, Okay, I like it.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Biggest flex from your career so far, biggest flex. I
almost always beat my friend Tift show and chip contests,
and you know what I mean to me, that's a flex.
But you know, it's just that camaraderie that we have.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Absolutely last one, Let's say you and Tip Joe have
a TV show. What's the name of your show?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
It's gotta be Jurassic Park. What Joe Rastick Park?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Okay, I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
That was the name team name when we played the
team event in dow for in Michigan. Okay, yeah, that
was our team name. Joe rasiic Park.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I love that. Okay, that is our rapid fire questions.
We love it. So we had to start from the
very beginning. So you've you've been playing golf for a
very long time. We have to hear the golf origin story,
how'd you get into it? Yeah? Inspired you so?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Tiger Woods obviously absolutely. I went to the driving range
when I was ten. My older brother was playing and
my dad was kind of his coach, and I was
not interested whatsoever in this game. And then, you know,
finally when I turned eleven or something, I kind of
(12:06):
got bored making like flower crowns and rolling down the
hill like grassy knolls like while they're you know, grinding
away eating golf balls. I asked my dad, Hey, like,
can I just try? And he's like, yeah, sure, whatever.
He kind of set up a golf ball on those
rubber tees. Yeah, and apparently, according to him, I had
a four iron like straight down the range, Like you said,
(12:27):
a four iron a four iron? Who picks up a
four iron first? By the way, that was my dad's ball.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yeah yeah, well.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah, I would have not picked a foe arm, but yeah,
he said, apparently I hit that shot straight down the range,
and he turned his attention from my brother to me. Yeah,
and uh, you know, he kind of gave me the
whole talk like you can maybe get a college scholarship,
so maybe it could be on the LPGA. You know
(12:57):
that was that was when I was eleven, and when
I turned twelve, for some reason, something clicked and I
had this my sight set on first going to UCLA
and then making it to the LPGA. You know, lots
of practice, just days and hours and hours and weeks
and months out on the golf course, and you know,
(13:18):
I found myself getting a scholarship to UCLA, although I
only stayed for one year, I'm sorry, Coach Kerrie. And
then ultimately I reached my goal of playing on the LPGA,
and I played for fifteen years and that's a pretty
long career if you compare it to the average career
on the LPGA.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yeah. Absolutely, so I think what's crazy is that for?
I mean, I would say, like a bunch of the
golfers that are on tour, you've started pretty late technically,
you know, like a lot of girls are already playing
like five, six, seven, eight years old. You started at
ten to eleven. You decide at twelve, I'm going to
make it on the tour and you're like, bam, hell yeah,
(13:56):
I just did that. Like you made it so easy
and you so you talk about how you went to UCLA,
but for a minute there that wasn't even going to
be a rally, you were going to go professionally straight.
But what made you end up changing your mind to
go to UCLA? I, if I'm being real, I wanted
to get away from my parents. Okay, I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And you know, I think a lot of Korean Americans,
Asian Americans, you know, alike, in the golf world, especially,
you know women Asian parents can be very overbearing and
and you know, obviously they want what's best for you.
But I just wanted to not have golf be my
entire life for a little bit of time, have a
(14:39):
little bit of freedom, and honestly, just I learned life
lessons at UCLA, albeit the hard way. I had never
done laundry before. I had to learn how to do
laundry by myself. I think I did laundry for probably
three months with fabric softener, thinking it was it was yeah, yeah, yeah,
(15:02):
that's not I'm not even getting so yeah, just stuff
like that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah. And then you met one of our besties, Tiff
in college.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
No, I met her before college. We were on the
junior circuit together in southern California, and she had agreed
to go to UCLA when she was a sophomore and
we just kind of bonded. We you know, she's a
week older than me, and we kind of, you know,
grew up with listening to the same music and you know,
(15:30):
two little girlies just trying to figure out how to
get that stupid ball in the hole. And you know,
she became one of my best friends and still is
still is still. Yeah, she kind of recruited me for
coach Carrie. Okay, So I knew I wanted to go
to UCLA always. There were a few other schools that
(15:51):
were in the mix as well, but yeah, UCLA was
only about an hour from my house, so it kind
of felt like it felt like the right thing.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I like that. And so then you only played, as
you said, for a year. What was it that you
were like, I'm good, I think I want to go
pro now.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
So that summer I played in the US Women's Open
as an amateur, and it was at Newport Country Club
in Rhode Island, and I think that I'd been my
like fifth US Open that I had played at that point,
but I finished top five there as a nineteen year
old amateur, and just the feeling of being in contention
(16:27):
and knowing that this is what I wanted to do
for my future. Yeah, I just felt like, like, what
am I going to do going back to school because
A I'm not very smart.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
I wouldn't say that I'm not very book smart, Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
You know, like the thought of like sitting in an
auditorium listening to your professor didn't really entice me.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, It's very enticing period.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah exactly. But you know, being out on the golf
course was you know, trying to get better every day.
That was something I was very passionate about. Once I
got all my party out there, you go, after being
you know, a freshman laundry.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
You learned all your life lessons exactly.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
But yeah, I just I knew that I wanted to
be a golfer, and I just felt like, man, I'm
just not smart enough for school. I need to leave.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
It's funny, okay. So then transitioning into the LPGA Tour,
you were able to play and compete on tour for
nearly fifteen years, which is that's incredible, And so what
would you say has been your favorite memory highlight of
those years?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Favorite memory? I will say my best memories golf wise
comes from the grand door of playing major championship golf.
There's just and I know it's just a it's a
very small little world that we play in, but when
we're in it, it's literally our entire world, you know,
playing to be a part of history, to experience what
(17:57):
it's like to have the jitters and feeling your heart
race and your throat. And I would say, I guess
one single highlight was finishing. I think it was like
tied for third or tied for fifth or something in
the twenty fifteen US Woman's Open in Lancaster. And just
(18:18):
that entire week was very surreal because from the start
of the week I just had signs of butterflies. And
I know it sounds lame, but when my grandmother passed away,
I kind of likened her visiting me to seeing butterflies.
And on Monday on the range, I saw this butterfly
(18:39):
kind of chill on a pile of range balls, and
it stayed there for twenty minutes, and you know that's
very unusual. Yeah. Then you know, thirty minutes later, I'm
on the putting green. My caddie walks over and he's like,
there's a butterfly in your golf bag and it won't
leave and then I don't know. I know it sounds dumb,
but I had this like feeling of calm kind of
(19:02):
wash over me, and the whole week was a blur.
It was like it was kind of a blur, but
also like I was playing a video game, like if
I see a target, I'm going to hit it there. Yeah,
and I'm going to make Bertie parr. I'd say that's
that's probably one of my favorite memories. And plus it's
an awesome golf course.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I mean to just perform well at a major in
front of like all your loved ones, and I'm a
firm believer in science. I don't think it's crazy. Okay,
I'm completely with you. I think that's amazing. And I
also a really nice paycheck too. At the end of that,
it was a good week.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, you're kind of like, man, am I gonna be
able to pay the bills? And yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
And you're like, okay, yeah, So what would you say
you miss most about being on tour?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Honestly, I just miss the people. And I know that
sounds so cliche, but I always tell people it's like
a big traveling circus. We're all kind of on the
same flights kind of in the same area. You see
people at the grocery store, restaurants or whatever. And I
know we're all trying to beat each other in the game, right,
But at the end of the day, I will give
(20:08):
my shirt off my back for you and you would
do the same for me because we all have this
common goal. But also, you know, we're all humans people,
So I miss the people, yeah yeah, And I know
the people miss you, oh yeah. I mean You've always
been such a light on the tour, and anytime I
feel like your name has been brought up, everyone is
(20:30):
just like I love Jane. I mean it like, I
feel like a lot of people genuinely very much miss
you and always always talk so highly and how.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Funny you are and all those things. And I remember
when I first met you too. It's like, no, I
met you individually, but then I got to know you
better around you and Tiff and so YouTube bantering was
always like so much fun. I was like, you guys
are just so fun together. Yeah, of course. So fast
(21:17):
forward to twenty twenty one, your golf career kind of
got put on pause unexpectedly, and you were hit with
probably the craziest news that you could have ever imagined.
Do you mind sharing your daughter, Grace's story with us
and how you learned about her diagnosis?
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Yeah, sure, I guess. Twenty twenty one, I was playing
a tournament in Dallas and my daughter was ten months old,
and I had come back from maternity leave, I think
two months prior to that, and it was fast, and
it was just it was probably a little premature, and
I wanted but I my bones just ached for competition,
(21:58):
and I wanted to be back in the mix. And
you know, I really worked on my fitness and trying
to get the body back after carrying a child in
my body. My husband and I were the three of
us were traveling obviously, you know, all over the place,
not internationally yet. Yeah. So he was catting for me
at a tournament in Dallas and Grace was in daycare
(22:19):
and this was two days before she turned ten months old,
and we picked up from daycare. I had played horribly,
missed the cut whatever, and they said that she had
a low grade fever, but it wasn't anything out of
the ordinary. You know, kids get fever. Sure, took her
home and she vomited, but it wasn't like I said,
(22:41):
kids vomit right, she had a good night's sleep, and
then the next day she we were just playing in
the hotel and I scooped her up and it was
nap time and I had her on my chest and
she fell asleep. But her naps were probably like thirty
minutes forty minutes. But an hour passed and she was
very still on my chest, and I thought it was weird,
(23:04):
but it wasn't anything alarming. She didn't have fever, like
none of the signs pointed to that something was wrong.
But you know, hour two came and I started kind
of wondering, what's happening. You know, I kind of tried
to wake her up. It was, you know, time to
give her a bottle whatever, and I kind of looked
at her and I saw this grimace on her face
and like she was in pain. And at that point
(23:25):
she she didn't communicate other than with coups and like
a ten month old would. But you know, I tried
to get her to come to and she couldn't open
her eyes. You know, she had a little grimace in
her brow, and I kept saying grace, grace, grace, hey,
like wake up, wake up, and she started letting out
these little groans, and I could tell her she was
(23:48):
in pain, and I thought, okay, well, let's give her
some time at all and see if she kind of
perks up. And it didn't happen, and then all of
us sudden, I went from zero to one hundred. I'm like,
we need to take her to the er. And there
was a children's hospital, probably a small children's like urgent care,
(24:10):
probably like three miles away. And that was the longest
ride of my life because she's in the car seat,
petech driving. I'm frantic, and she's just this tiny little
blob in a car seat and she just kept making
this noise that was very unusual. And we got to
the hospital and they're like, what's happening, and I said,
(24:33):
you know, she hasn't. It's very unlike her to be
very lethargic and nonresponsive like this. So at that point
I'm thinking, Okay, well, I wonder what's happening and have
them run tests. And that day was the last time
that I saw Grace. Pre brain injury and the brain injury,
(24:55):
she was basically seizing in her sleep NonStop. She was
having seizure after seizure and that was why she couldn't
open her eyes. That was why she was catatonic. She
couldn't move anything. And that's when they did, you know,
a lumbar puncture. They did an EEG, they did an MRI.
All within four hours. So within that span of four hours,
(25:15):
I went from being a mom on tour to am
I gonna have to plan a funeral here? And I
just remember thinking, like life just changes like that, and
this is bad. I wasn't gonna cry, but it's okay. Yeah.
(25:36):
So that led to a month in the ICU in
Dallas and a man, I have gone to so much
therapy and why am I crying?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
No, Jane, it's okay, it's okay, Okay, trust me, I'll
be trying too. I know it. We have tissues here.
Tell them, just tell me when.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
But yeah, it was a month in the ICU. But
even at that point, it didn't seem real that that
she was going to wake up different. And in my heart,
I knew that she was going to wake up, but
I didn't know what version of Grace would come out
on the other side, and it was a completely different kid. Sorry,
it's okay that your followers didn't expect this.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
You know, I'm just I think one thing that I
think is so beautiful is looking at you on social media.
Your bio says, this profile is a love letter to
my beautiful disabled daughter Grace. And when you look at
all your posts, they truly are diary logs. And you
say that you're not into school and you're not BookSmart
(26:45):
and all these things, but Jane, you write so beautifully.
Oh thing, like, you write so beautifully and it's it's
from traumauma, but you convey your emotions so well and
so real and just so raw that anyone can read
(27:05):
your posts and just absolutely feel got wrenched and beside you.
And just the other night when I was catching up
and going through your page, the amount of sobbing that
I did, just because the way you write it's just
so real, like it makes me want to like hug
you through a screen. And I can't imagine how many
people that you've touched and people have reached out to
(27:27):
you through this. So now she's in the hospital. HM,
at what point did you realize within that month or
earlier or later that she was not going to be
the Grace that you once knew.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
We had a number of neurologists come by, and you know,
I started learning the lingo of the hospital, and you
know what an attending was and what a resident is.
I didn't know what any of that stuff was. We
had a different attending every week, and we were there
for a month. And the first attending that we had
was the best one because he she delivered the message
(28:03):
very succinctly, in a very kind way, but didn't beat
around the bush. He was very to the point, and
he said, she's gonna have a difficult life. The damage
to her brain is immense, and it goes all the
way down to the gray matter, which is the very
(28:24):
deepest part of your brain where everything happens. Well, you know,
the brain is an amazing organ and surprisingly through time,
I've learned that as much as we know about the brain,
we don't know anything about the brain. And I think
that open endedness kind of makes things a mystery and
(28:47):
keeps things I wouldn't say interesting. But when she finally
stopped seizing, it was two weeks into the ICU. She
had a tube down her throat and she had these
EEGs all over her brain, these little leads that have
pads that detect the electricity in your brain to see
what's happening. And I just remember every time a technician
(29:10):
came in, they came in and said, your daughter's still seizing.
Your daughter's still seizing.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Because it would happened in her sleep, so it's not
something you saw.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
It's so there's something called subclinical seizures, and those are
seizures that you can't see. They don't take a physical
form like the ones you see in the movies. But
the type of seizure she was happening was in her
brain and it completely shut her body down, so we
weren't able to see any type of jerky movements or anything.
So they put her on a pretty strong cocktail to
(29:42):
basically bring her up to nearly comatose. They were very
close to completely putting her in a coma because her
brain was firing like NonStop, and they had her in
a pretty strong cocktail of drugs to stop the brain activity.
And finally, once they got ahold of the activity in
(30:04):
her brain and the initial injury that had taken place,
was the inflammation had died down and whatnot, they decided
to pull the meds from her to see if she
would come to, and she slowly woke up and she
started opening her eyes and you know, like how long
before she was This was probably two weeks into it. Yeah,
(30:28):
she was still in the hospital, still had the tube
and her throat, and we were all just kind of
standing around her, just waiting to see if she would
move a finger, like maybe move her face, try to
say something through the tube. And I just remember thinking,
she's gonna wake up and she might not be the same,
(30:51):
but she's still my girl. Yeah, But at the same time,
I don't want this girl. I want the old Grace
back because that was the Grace that I fell in
love with, and that was the grace I knew, and
I don't want whatever is going to happen from this
moment forward. And she finally came to they were able
(31:14):
to kind of wake her up. Her SATs for her,
you know, vitals were okay. They took the tube out,
and that was the first time that she was kind
of aware of her surroundings. But her brain injury had
been so severe that she could not make eye contact,
she couldn't move her head. I likened her to like
(31:37):
a Mashie potato, just kind of laying there with leads everywhere,
and the injury that she incurred was insane, to say
the least, and when she woke up, there was nothing
on her face that said I'm still.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Grace, that's still just at ten months knew.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I just knew that everything that we had known about
her to that point was gone. It was just a
blank slate. And at that point, I just remember feeling
very detached from her, like I don't want I don't
want this kid, right Like there were times where I
felt like it would be better if she passed away,
(32:19):
and I recall calling the nurse when I finally felt
like I wanted to comfort her in some way, and
I asked the nurse, Hey, can you help me with
all the wires? I would love to hold her. I
haven't held her in two weeks. And she said, yeah,
(32:42):
of course I could do that. So I climbed into
bed with her and the nurse There's all these like
wires and different things everywhere, and I didn't want to
pull anything out and you know, IVS or whatever, and
she lifted her up and put her in my arms,
and I just remember letting out this guttural cry, and
it was I don't know, three in the afternoon, and
(33:03):
I'm sure everyone in the ward like could hear me
just sobbing, because it was like the end of a
life and then a beginning of life, trying to get
to know this new person. I'll never forget that moment.
And her body was so stiff. She used to fit
so perfectly in my little nook, and then she was
(33:26):
as stiff as his table, And that typically happens when
you incur a brain injury. Your body pretty much does.
It's not yours anymore in certain ways. So, yeah, that
was a whole month in Dallas of just trauma after trauma.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
So what is the name of the overall diagnosis and
what is your day to day like now? Yeah, and
Grace's day to day.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
So running all these tests on Grace to find if
there was any genetic disorder. Nothing, no genetic disorder, no diagnosis.
Don't even know why she started seizing, And it's a
it's a question left unanswered, but at this point an
answer wouldn't really make a difference. The damage in her
(34:12):
brain is done and she pretty much has lenox Guesto syndrome.
It's basically a fancy name for like drug resistant epilepsy.
So the epilepsy, the shocks to her brain come from
the brain injury that she incurred, and we don't know
why that brain injury occurred. She just ten month old,
(34:32):
just started seizing out of nowhere, so there's really no explanation.
But she honestly is the strongest little girl. Man. These
kids that go through this, like your bad days are
just like not that bad when you see what these
kids go through. And I think that's what makes it
(34:52):
easier to try and put one foot in front of
the other day to day. For me, it's this is
a real treat for me, by the way, because I'm
not at home and.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Show her well, so welcome to the party.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Yes, she is full care, so I need to get
her up from bread. She's non ambulatory, which means she
can't move on her own, and I dress her, feed
her via a G two in her stomach, and I
know that kind of paints a picture like she just
kind of lays there. But she's a vibrant young girl
(35:30):
for everything that she's been through. She Yeah, she's blowing
my mind and blowing everyone's mind. The doctor's minds. They're like,
we have no idea how she's going to turn out,
but she's blowing everyone's mind.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
How has the process been for you, coping with the
ups and downs and just processing this new life.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Yeah, I am heavily medicated. I've got a lot, you know,
I'm taking an idepressance which kind of levels things out.
And I obviously have a ton of anxiety when it's
anything that to do with Grace, because it's almost like
you need to be like seven steps ahead to make
(36:13):
sure she doesn't get a respiratory illness or you know,
washing her hands, putting like hand sanitizer on her hands,
making sure that she's in like a clean space so
that she doesn't catch any viruses. But in terms of seizures,
I mean she has seizures every day. She's got anywhere
(36:35):
from twelve to twenty a day, and they can range
anywhere from five seconds to three minutes. And it's just
become our normal. And I think a human's ability to
adapt to different outcomes is incredible, not only for our situation,
(36:56):
but like the way Grace adapts to everything, she is incredible.
Sometimes I'm like, how are you my daughter? That's incredible.
It's incredible.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
So what would you say is the most rewarding aspect
about raising Grace?
Speaker 3 (37:13):
She just puts kind of a different perspective to everything.
For me not to say that I still grieve immensely
what could have been. I grieve immensely my journey as
a mother, my experience as a mother, my experience in
general with having a kid. I used to not be
(37:35):
able to go anywhere near a toy aisle because I
couldn't buy a toy that she could interact and play with,
because it's just her motive functions just aren't there. Those
kind of become a periphery because the light that she shines,
like when you're present with her is it just makes
(37:57):
everything else feel so dim and say that those things
don't creep up every now and then. It's hard for
me to be in a space where there are other parents,
other moms that have a typical mothering experience, because I
can't chime in and say, oh, yeah, my kid was
late for the bus and I had to take her
(38:18):
to school. Just little things like that. But I know
that the experience that I'm having is an experience that
was meant for me. And would I go back, and
if I could change anything. I do have some regrets.
I wish I didn't take her to Dallas, and I
wish I didn't have this burning desire to compete again
(38:40):
and just kind of maybe prematurely bring her out, and
would she have gotten sick if we stayed home, like
all those things. But my brain kind of exists in
two different worlds. I guess world where everything I see
is grace and how to make her comfortable and keep
her happy. And on the other side, I'm like, look
(39:02):
at the rest of the world just kind of going
as if nothing happened. Yeah, And it's trying to mold
those two together and be okay with it. And some
days are easier than others. Other days, I'm just like,
the bare minimum I can do is just PLoP her
on the couch and just sit next to her and
(39:24):
have her watch her show while I watch, like I
don't know, Tiger reruns or something just to like or
Kobe reruns. But yeah, it's just about survival honestly most
of the time. But that's just the life of a caregiver.
All you can do is just really try to love
who you're caring for, and she's easy to love.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I just feel very empathetic because even when you speak
your words of the two different worlds, I just can't
imagine what that must be like that. You know, she
is your world and that is true, but then there's
also this part of you It's like, but the world
is still moving. Yeah, and you can grieve and also love.
You can grieve and also find happiness. And I think
(40:07):
it's just the Jane that I know is the Jane
that's welcoming all the rookies. Jane that I know is
just always so happy and so bubbly. And I think
it's just very real to see you in this light.
I just feel very close and empathetic to you and
seeing your story.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
And I just want you to know that if I'm
sitting here bawling and my makeup is just falling apart,
I can't tell you how many story I can't tell
you how many lives I'm I'm sure you touch, and
how much awareness you bring. And I love how you
speak so loudly for grace and you just love you
(40:48):
love so deeply, and you just deserve so much. You
deserve the world like you really do you do? Oh God,
you do? I know. I'm this has now become a
therapy session. It's honest, is I feel like girl time
is just the girl time.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
This is it really is.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Yeah, so fast forwards to twenty twenty three. Yeah, you
actually took the time and you stepped back out on
(41:27):
the golf clues and you competed in another LPGA event.
What brought you out to compete again? Were you invited?
Was this a decision of yours?
Speaker 3 (41:37):
It wasn't a decision of mine, but one of the
tournament directors that runs the DOW, which is the team event,
kept reaching out and saying, hey, honestly, it would be
great to have you back, just even if it's just
for that week, because you know, I didn't have a
proper sendoff. I was kind of you know, on the
ladder half of my career and or not even latter half.
(41:58):
I was I wanted to be done soon ish and
want to have another kid. But he just kind of said,
you know, just show up. You can play like crap
and nobody will care. We just want to see you.
And it just he kept asking me, and I was like,
you know what, you know, like the competitor, and me
(42:18):
wanted like time to grind and like you know, get
better and like kind of get my old playing back,
like to be a good competitor. But you know, people
were like, dude, nobody cares. You can go shoot ninety five.
I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll do it. I'll do it.
And you know, I brought Grace and people were so
(42:40):
happy to see her. And I know, Instagram is such
a it's a snippet of someone's life. It's not the
whole picture. And it was just so great to have
people that I hold dearly to my heart as friends
but also complete strangers just come up to me or
(43:01):
like see Grace and just like come running over like,
oh my god, it's great and uh, you know, she'll
just flash her a little smile and yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
And that was it.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
And Paula was my partner. I had been playing against
her since since we were ten. She's got better of
me and like all those years, but she was such
a great partner. She made sure I was comfortable and
we just had a good time. You know, we didn't
make the cut, but I mean it wasn't about that,
and the hobby was on.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
The back watching it. I think, what a moment. So
for you, was that your proper send off that oh
You've always been hoping for.
Speaker 3 (43:39):
It was kind of a you know, now that we're
out of the weeds, and I'm we're in a more
steady place. Let's try and tackle traveling with her, Let's
go and see my friends. And it was such a
welcome back, but it was also like a proper goodbye. Yeah. Yeah,
And I'm totally fine with never playing.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
So that's no chance of saying, Jane parks playing again.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
That's the last time I touched my golf clubs. It
was nearly two years ago.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, you don't even just attempt to play for fun
chick in the backyard competitions with Tip.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
I mean those are yeah, whenever she comes in, we
want to do, have to. Yeah, but yeah, that part
of my life. It's almost like that chapter of the
book has turned and it's it used to be my love,
but now I'm like, let's let's fully focus on what's here,
what's now, and not to bring it back to like
(44:34):
a dark place. But I truly just enjoy my time,
my one on one time or like you know, time
in general with Grace because I know she's more prone
to having illnesses, an early death, like all those things,
and those things are constantly on my mind, which is
why I just don't want to be away from her. Ye,
(44:57):
I just want to suck the life out of her
and just her into like a little like ball of nothing. Yeah,
but yeah, there's a lot of perspective that has been
learned in the last few years. I wish it wasn't
through just insane trauma, but but it's my trauma, and
it's my story and it's her story.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Yeah. Yeah, if you could go back and talk to
little Jane maybe before she turned pro, what would.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
You tell her? Wow, it's so cliche. I would tell her, like,
you know, missing a three footer is really not that
big of a deal. It's not a big deal, and
lord knows I have missed a lot of three footers.
But I would just tell her life is going to
(45:51):
challenge you in ways that you would never wish on
your worst enemy. But you're going to be okay. Okay
is relative, I think, And it's okay not to be
okay because you have people that check in on you
and people that are going to be in your corner
(46:12):
and just to.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Love deeply, which I don't think will ever change.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
So we're gonna end this pod on a bit of
a lighter now, okay, And we have a funnel game.
I always start my pods with the game and with
the game. Yes, and I made this game custom for you,
and it's called take Me Back. Okay, So I'm going
to show you a photo and you're going to take
me back to that moment and kind of like rapid
fire form like fast story for me, and you're gonna
(46:41):
tell me what's going on, yeah, or that moment. Yeah,
and you just hopefully we bring up some happy moments. Okay, okay, okay,
are ready all right? Here we go take me back?
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Oh man, yeah, us Women's zam Champ. I had been
working so hard for that and I finally had it
in my arms. That trophy is also like insane, by
the way, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
Yeah. I thought it was like wider and made skinnier,
like it kind of looks like it's edited, but like
that's legit the trophy and it's from your head to
your torso it's gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
And I had it in my possession for a year
and I broke it.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
How did you break it?
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Oh? You know, you know?
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Things okay, okay, things all right, still happy moment, all right.
I just didn't know what this activation was. Oh, you're
standing next to an astronaut.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
We were in Houston, I believe and we make sense,
and NASA invited us to come toward their facilities. Wow, yeah,
let's go.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
That's wild. Yeah yeah, I love this. I just went
basically went through Getty Images and this is what I
found of you. And I was like, okay, this is
the last one. I just thought that this was a
great throwback. Oh god, look at these photos. If I
could zoom.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
It on, just baby Jane, baby Michelle. Yeah God, why
do I have such an RBF? Oh this is a
great face right here. Yeah, let's say the worst picture
ever and just put it up with Jane.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Oh god, it's great. Okay, So this is Curtis.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Cup, Curtis Kyle, Curtis Cup.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
What year is it?
Speaker 3 (48:13):
Two thousand and three? Yeah, I was a junior in
high school. Yeah, man, we were. Michelle and I were
just we would just talk about inappropriate things and just
make each other laugh.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
Yeah. You know.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
She was my roommate that week, and you know she's like,
can we push our beds together? I'm kind of scared. Okay, yeah,
I'll yeah, whatever, It's fine.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Oh gosh, I love it. I love how this is
like pre makeup days. It's pree everything. It's like the
awkward years of life.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
She had like clip on earrings and she let me
wear them because I hadn't had my ears pierced yet either.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
But yeah, we'd stay up and play card games and
I love that. It was. It was a good time.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
I can't say it was your prime years, but it
was definitely memorable years. So with that, where can everyone
find you?
Speaker 3 (49:08):
I'm mostly on Instagram at the Jane Park a lot
on Instagram. I also started painting and I made this
little like extra Instagram account. It's called Grace in Every Color. Yeah,
and I just started doing it in like a form
of therapy and it's been really fun. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
All right, so those are the two places that we
could find you. That's it, Jane, Thank you so much
for joining the party.
Speaker 3 (49:31):
Thank you so much. You're amazing.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Welcome to the party with Tisha Allen is an Iheartwoman's
sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports Entertainment. I'm
your host, Taisha Allen. Christina Everett is our executive producer,
and Jennifer Bassett is our producer. Sound Mixing and mastering
by Mary Doo. Special thanks to Jesse Katz at iHeart
and to Jess McCallister and the teams at GERSH and
Catalyst nine. Listen to Welcome to the Party with Tisha
(50:01):
Allen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts.
So for those of you who are listening watching what
have you? I try and rally up my talents myself
a lot of times. And when I DMed you, I'm
not kidding, guys, I sent a screenshot full of words
of like heartfelt words asking her to be on my
pod and like I miss her and like I look
(00:21):
up to you and this and that, and then her
response was, oh my gosh, cool, do I have to
dress up?
Speaker 2 (00:28):
I was like, I washed my hair for you today. Yeah,
that's like a once a week. I'm so honored. I
was like sick response, I was like tearing up.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
What is going on? Friends? Welcome back to Welcome to
the part. Now, before I actually get into my guest
for this episode, which I am so excited for, I
actually want to take the time to share a little
bit about my own experiences. So to be very honest,
when I first began this podcast, I didn't feel very
comfortable sharing things just about me and just talking about me.
(01:13):
I wanted to make this podcast solely about other guests,
to create a platform for them to raise other women
up that are total badasses in this world. However, it
has been brought to my attention by listeners which thank
you all so much for those who have shared so
much love for me. I've been getting a lot of
feedback saying, like, you know, we want to hear more
about you, and so I thought, why not try and
(01:34):
share a story or two. And one of the most
common questions I get asked whenever I do a ask
me anything or get to know me is why do
I leave professional golf? For those of you who don't
know a little bit about my background, I've been playing
golf since I was three, started competing when I was seven,
and then I played on a full ride scholarship to
cal State Fullerton Ury Professional right after and so that
(01:54):
was from twenty fifteen to twenty eighteen that I played professionally.
I did decent. I was top on the Mini tour circuit,
on the money list, I got my Symmetric Tour carve,
which is now called the EPSOM Tour, and I really
gave it all. I got where I felt like all
I could in that moment. And the first real reason
why I left was because it's so freaking expensive. And
(02:14):
not to say that it's not for the men's tour,
but for it's it's just hard and the money and
the purse, especially at the time, was so weak. I
mean we're talking about five hundred to seven hundred and
fifty dollars entry fees, and then your first place prize
was like twenty five hundred, two thousand dollars. I have
a big check in you know, one of my old
trophy rooms that says my first prize was like eighteen
(02:37):
hundred dollars. And to me, I thought, I was bawling. Yeah,
totally not like if you miss a cut and you
have a bad week, that's the money you lose, like
eighteen hundred dollars. And you know, qualifying school is five grand,
and there is not really there's no prize to that
unless you actually win the whole entire thing. And so
what was funny was that when I went through an
injury for the first time, I went through a string
(02:57):
of I think three bad events. I didn't make three
cuts and I lost basically like that four grand in
those three events, and I thought, holy shit, this is
not a good place to be. Like I thought, I
was balling. Now I am poor. And so that was
reason number one. Now reason number two, which I'm sure
many of you guys can guess, is that social media
came into the picture right out of the gate when
(03:18):
I came out of college. And I'm sure you're gonna
know the same. My friend, my dear friend, Paige Renee,
started to pop off in twenty fifteen and she was
getting sponsors from Callaway and all these big people doing ads,
and of course, funny enough, my first professional golf event,
I was paired with Paige Renee. We actually grew up
playing a lot of golf together and playing in the
same field. So she was always a phenomenal golfer. She's
(03:40):
a great golfer. She played for STSU and so when
we played together, and she basically told me, like, why
don't you do this social media thing? And I didn't
really care for it. I didn't believe in it. I
was always kind of taught my whole life like you know,
if you work hard, you'll you'll get what is coming
for you in the best way. But then I realized,
like I had to back myself financial and maybe this
(04:01):
may be a tool that can help me, and so
I dove in. I knew I was also always creative
and extroverted, and you know, I love to dance. I
could do these trick shots and whatnot. And I started
to implement that into my social media in an effort
to fund my career, and then I found a lot
of joy in it as well. And so it came
to the point where, you know, I really just wanted
(04:23):
one person to notice my game. I wanted one person
to notice my swing. Maybe give me some golf clubs,
maybe give me some clothes, because I was rocking my
college gear for how long. And it turned out to
be even way better than that. I started getting approached
by brands like Kia At and t who I'm still
you know, partnered with now to this day. And it
came to the point where I didn't want to take
(04:44):
that check and then bring it towards an entry fee,
Like why would I take this amazing check and then
go put five hundred to seven hundred and fifty dollars
into an entry fee? And also like truthfully, like the
moment that you don't set your eyes on being a
professional anymore, to me, it's just impossible, like you have
to be so one track minded to be amazing as
a professional golfer. Because for me, the moment I thought
(05:05):
social media can be a career, that was when professional
golf really took a turn for me, and I was
already walking the fairways with like Danielle king Lydia Coe,
you know Lexi Thompson for being a host in a
social media personality, and I knew immediately when I saw
them play, like can I hit those shots? Absolutely? Do
I have that discipline? Yes, if I wanted to. Do
(05:25):
I have that mental game?
Speaker 3 (05:27):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Do I have that drive anymore?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Do I actually want this? No? And in twenty eighteen,
that's when I really took the time and said I'm
gonna walk away. So the last reason is, you know,
real life hit me. I went through quite a few hardships.
Now this one I'm about to say I haven't really
shared very much of. And I for seven years went
(05:51):
through a very difficult relationship in terms of I had
a verbally abusive swing coach, and that was really tough
for me because I didn't know that I was in
a situation like that. It felt normal. And I was
also again in a place where I needed to financially
take care of myself professionally as a professional golfer, and
I was offered free training and free lessons, and so
(06:12):
I didn't really feel like I had another another choice really,
and I really felt like that the education was way
more valuable compared to the treatment that I was receiving.
It just became very much like if you don't do well,
or if you don't do this, or if you can't
achieve this shot, then you will never make it on
the fucking LPGA tour and things like that, where it
(06:33):
really got to the point where it evolved into PTSD
and involved into not really ever believing in myself. I
was playing golf out of a lot of fear and
when I turned professional and I want a couple times
on the Mini Toaur circuit. I know it may not
seem like a lot to some people, but to me,
it was more than enough to prove that I could
do it without this swing coach. And I think there
(06:54):
was something that just clicked and was like, I don't
even think I want to do this. It doesn't make
me happy. What makes me happy is, you know, being
creative and being fun and bringing smile to people's faces
and showing people how fun golf is. Winning doesn't mean
anything to me, especially when you're so alone the whole time.
Golf is such a lonely sport. You're trained by yourself,
you travel by yourself, and it just wasn't me, and
(07:16):
so that was really tough hardship. We can go into
that story a little more another day. And then, of course,
the second hardship was I was figuring out my sexuality
through it all, So talk to me about, you know,
difficulty while trying to turn pro like those were two
very difficult things. All the while trying to make a
putt for a check. I wasn't in a place of
(07:37):
really being you know, welcome in my home anymore because
my sexuality really through a wrench in things. And I
was also exploring a new actual relationship and it just
you know, for me, there are some people who can
really separate personal life and their professional life when it
comes to their game, and I was not one of them.
(07:58):
My personal life really really really took a toll on
my golf game, and I had to ultimately walk away.
And social media was kind of like my outlet. Wow,
that got really deep, really fast. And guess what, this
episode with my next guest is only going to get deeper.
But I hope you all feel a little bit closer
to me in that way. So let me take the
time to introduce my next guest. I am so honored
(08:20):
to welcome someone who is deeply loved on the LPGA Tour,
not just for her incredible game, but for her heart,
her humor, and the light that she brings wherever she goes.
So let me tell you about my friend Jane. Jane
rose to national prominence in the early two thousands, dominating
amateur golf and going on to spend fifteen amazing years
on the LPGA Tour. She stepped away briefly in twenty
(08:41):
twenty to welcome her daughter, Grace, and returned to competition
the very next year, But in an instant, her world
completely changed. Her daughter Grace began experiencing unexplained brain seizures,
and Jane made the decision to leave golf to care
for her daughter full time. Now, what she shares in
this episode is extremely wrong, extremely powerful, and deeply moving.
(09:02):
We talk about motherhood, identity, resilience, and the kind of
strength that no one can really train for. Jane's story
is a reminder of how quickly life can change, how
strong a mother's love is, and how community and compassion
carry us through the unimaginable. I am so thankful she
joined me to share her truth, and I know her
words will stay with you, just like they did with me.
(09:23):
Without further ado, please welcome my dear friend Jane Park
to the party. I'm so excited to have you. Oh
my god, we haven't seen each other in so long
twenty nineteen nineteen.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Maybe yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Okay, wow, Well we're gonna dive in and we're just
gonna get to know you today. And we always start
with some fun, rapid fire questions. Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So you're playing golf with three celebs? Who's in your crew?
Good be girls?
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Boys, doesn't matter. I would have to say Tiger for sure,
but two thousands Tiger. Honestly, I would go with my
friend Tift Joe. She's a celebrity, right she We love Tiff, Yeah,
we love Tiff Okay, and then probably Sari Sari Pack.
Oh okay, I love that you chose all golfers.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, I like it. You know what, no one's gonna
slow you down?
Speaker 3 (10:14):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
All right. So it's a Jane Park karaoke night. You're
doing a power ballad or full rap verst with choreo,
nineties hip hop and everything. Okay, I love it. Yeah,
I love it.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Would you rather accidentally hit your playing partner with a
golf ball or accidentally call them the wrong name for
all of eighteen holes?
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Oh? Man, I've done that in a pro am before.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
But that makes sense.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Yeah, because you meet a lot of I've met a
lot of pro and partners. I'd rather hit my playing partners.
Make for a good story.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, Okay, I like it.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
Biggest flex from your career so far, biggest flex. I
almost always beat my friend Tift show and chip contests,
and you know what I mean to me, that's a flex.
But you know, it's just that camaraderie that we have.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Absolutely last one, Let's say you and Tip Joe have
a TV show. What's the name of your show?
Speaker 3 (11:13):
It's gotta be Jurassic Park. What Joe Rastick Park?
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Okay, I'm with you.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
That was the name team name when we played the
team event in dow for in Michigan. Okay, yeah, that
was our team name. Joe rasiic Park.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
I love that. Okay, that is our rapid fire questions.
We love it. So we had to start from the
very beginning. So you've you've been playing golf for a
very long time. We have to hear the golf origin story,
how'd you get into it? Yeah? Inspired you so?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Tiger Woods obviously absolutely. I went to the driving range
when I was ten. My older brother was playing and
my dad was kind of his coach, and I was
not interested whatsoever in this game. And then, you know,
finally when I turned eleven or something, I kind of
(12:06):
got bored making like flower crowns and rolling down the
hill like grassy knolls like while they're you know, grinding
away eating golf balls. I asked my dad, Hey, like,
can I just try? And he's like, yeah, sure, whatever.
He kind of set up a golf ball on those
rubber tees. Yeah, and apparently, according to him, I had
a four iron like straight down the range, Like you said,
(12:27):
a four iron a four iron? Who picks up a
four iron first? By the way, that was my dad's ball.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Yeah yeah, well.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yeah, I would have not picked a foe arm, but yeah,
he said, apparently I hit that shot straight down the range,
and he turned his attention from my brother to me. Yeah,
and uh, you know, he kind of gave me the
whole talk like you can maybe get a college scholarship,
so maybe it could be on the LPGA. You know
(12:57):
that was that was when I was eleven, and when
I turned twelve, for some reason, something clicked and I
had this my sight set on first going to UCLA
and then making it to the LPGA. You know, lots
of practice, just days and hours and hours and weeks
and months out on the golf course, and you know,
(13:18):
I found myself getting a scholarship to UCLA, although I
only stayed for one year, I'm sorry, Coach Kerrie. And
then ultimately I reached my goal of playing on the LPGA,
and I played for fifteen years and that's a pretty
long career if you compare it to the average career
on the LPGA.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Yeah. Absolutely, so I think what's crazy is that for?
I mean, I would say, like a bunch of the
golfers that are on tour, you've started pretty late technically,
you know, like a lot of girls are already playing
like five, six, seven, eight years old. You started at
ten to eleven. You decide at twelve, I'm going to
make it on the tour and you're like, bam, hell yeah,
(13:56):
I just did that. Like you made it so easy
and you so you talk about how you went to UCLA,
but for a minute there that wasn't even going to
be a rally, you were going to go professionally straight.
But what made you end up changing your mind to
go to UCLA? I, if I'm being real, I wanted
to get away from my parents. Okay, I love that.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
And you know, I think a lot of Korean Americans,
Asian Americans, you know, alike, in the golf world, especially,
you know women Asian parents can be very overbearing and
and you know, obviously they want what's best for you.
But I just wanted to not have golf be my
entire life for a little bit of time, have a
(14:39):
little bit of freedom, and honestly, just I learned life
lessons at UCLA, albeit the hard way. I had never
done laundry before. I had to learn how to do
laundry by myself. I think I did laundry for probably
three months with fabric softener, thinking it was it was yeah, yeah, yeah,
(15:02):
that's not I'm not even getting so yeah, just stuff
like that.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah. And then you met one of our besties, Tiff
in college.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
No, I met her before college. We were on the
junior circuit together in southern California, and she had agreed
to go to UCLA when she was a sophomore and
we just kind of bonded. We you know, she's a
week older than me, and we kind of, you know,
grew up with listening to the same music and you know,
(15:30):
two little girlies just trying to figure out how to
get that stupid ball in the hole. And you know,
she became one of my best friends and still is
still is still. Yeah, she kind of recruited me for
coach Carrie. Okay, So I knew I wanted to go
to UCLA always. There were a few other schools that
(15:51):
were in the mix as well, but yeah, UCLA was
only about an hour from my house, so it kind
of felt like it felt like the right thing.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
I like that. And so then you only played, as
you said, for a year. What was it that you
were like, I'm good, I think I want to go
pro now.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
So that summer I played in the US Women's Open
as an amateur, and it was at Newport Country Club
in Rhode Island, and I think that I'd been my
like fifth US Open that I had played at that point,
but I finished top five there as a nineteen year
old amateur, and just the feeling of being in contention
(16:27):
and knowing that this is what I wanted to do
for my future. Yeah, I just felt like, like, what
am I going to do going back to school because
A I'm not very smart.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
I wouldn't say that I'm not very book smart, Okay.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
You know, like the thought of like sitting in an
auditorium listening to your professor didn't really entice me.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, It's very enticing period.
Speaker 3 (16:50):
Yeah exactly. But you know, being out on the golf
course was you know, trying to get better every day.
That was something I was very passionate about. Once I
got all my party out there, you go, after being
you know, a freshman laundry.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
You learned all your life lessons exactly.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
But yeah, I just I knew that I wanted to
be a golfer, and I just felt like, man, I'm
just not smart enough for school. I need to leave.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
It's funny, okay. So then transitioning into the LPGA Tour,
you were able to play and compete on tour for
nearly fifteen years, which is that's incredible, And so what
would you say has been your favorite memory highlight of
those years?
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Favorite memory? I will say my best memories golf wise
comes from the grand door of playing major championship golf.
There's just and I know it's just a it's a
very small little world that we play in, but when
we're in it, it's literally our entire world, you know,
playing to be a part of history, to experience what
(17:57):
it's like to have the jitters and feeling your heart
race and your throat. And I would say, I guess
one single highlight was finishing. I think it was like
tied for third or tied for fifth or something in
the twenty fifteen US Woman's Open in Lancaster. And just
(18:18):
that entire week was very surreal because from the start
of the week I just had signs of butterflies. And
I know it sounds lame, but when my grandmother passed away,
I kind of likened her visiting me to seeing butterflies.
And on Monday on the range, I saw this butterfly
(18:39):
kind of chill on a pile of range balls, and
it stayed there for twenty minutes, and you know that's
very unusual. Yeah. Then you know, thirty minutes later, I'm
on the putting green. My caddie walks over and he's like,
there's a butterfly in your golf bag and it won't
leave and then I don't know. I know it sounds dumb,
but I had this like feeling of calm kind of
(19:02):
wash over me, and the whole week was a blur.
It was like it was kind of a blur, but
also like I was playing a video game, like if
I see a target, I'm going to hit it there. Yeah,
and I'm going to make Bertie parr. I'd say that's
that's probably one of my favorite memories. And plus it's
an awesome golf course.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I mean to just perform well at a major in
front of like all your loved ones, and I'm a
firm believer in science. I don't think it's crazy. Okay,
I'm completely with you. I think that's amazing. And I
also a really nice paycheck too. At the end of that,
it was a good week.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, you're kind of like, man, am I gonna be
able to pay the bills? And yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
And you're like, okay, yeah, So what would you say
you miss most about being on tour?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Honestly, I just miss the people. And I know that
sounds so cliche, but I always tell people it's like
a big traveling circus. We're all kind of on the
same flights kind of in the same area. You see
people at the grocery store, restaurants or whatever. And I
know we're all trying to beat each other in the game, right,
But at the end of the day, I will give
(20:08):
my shirt off my back for you and you would
do the same for me because we all have this
common goal. But also, you know, we're all humans people,
So I miss the people, yeah yeah, And I know
the people miss you, oh yeah. I mean You've always
been such a light on the tour, and anytime I
feel like your name has been brought up, everyone is
(20:30):
just like I love Jane. I mean it like, I
feel like a lot of people genuinely very much miss
you and always always talk so highly and how.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Funny you are and all those things. And I remember
when I first met you too. It's like, no, I
met you individually, but then I got to know you
better around you and Tiff and so YouTube bantering was
always like so much fun. I was like, you guys
are just so fun together. Yeah, of course. So fast
(21:17):
forward to twenty twenty one, your golf career kind of
got put on pause unexpectedly, and you were hit with
probably the craziest news that you could have ever imagined.
Do you mind sharing your daughter, Grace's story with us
and how you learned about her diagnosis?
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Yeah, sure, I guess. Twenty twenty one, I was playing
a tournament in Dallas and my daughter was ten months old,
and I had come back from maternity leave, I think
two months prior to that, and it was fast, and
it was just it was probably a little premature, and
I wanted but I my bones just ached for competition,
(21:58):
and I wanted to be back in the mix. And
you know, I really worked on my fitness and trying
to get the body back after carrying a child in
my body. My husband and I were the three of
us were traveling obviously, you know, all over the place,
not internationally yet. Yeah. So he was catting for me
at a tournament in Dallas and Grace was in daycare
(22:19):
and this was two days before she turned ten months old,
and we picked up from daycare. I had played horribly,
missed the cut whatever, and they said that she had
a low grade fever, but it wasn't anything out of
the ordinary. You know, kids get fever. Sure, took her
home and she vomited, but it wasn't like I said,
(22:41):
kids vomit right, she had a good night's sleep, and
then the next day she we were just playing in
the hotel and I scooped her up and it was
nap time and I had her on my chest and
she fell asleep. But her naps were probably like thirty
minutes forty minutes. But an hour passed and she was
very still on my chest, and I thought it was weird,
(23:04):
but it wasn't anything alarming. She didn't have fever, like
none of the signs pointed to that something was wrong.
But you know, hour two came and I started kind
of wondering, what's happening. You know, I kind of tried
to wake her up. It was, you know, time to
give her a bottle whatever, and I kind of looked
at her and I saw this grimace on her face
and like she was in pain. And at that point
(23:25):
she she didn't communicate other than with coups and like
a ten month old would. But you know, I tried
to get her to come to and she couldn't open
her eyes. You know, she had a little grimace in
her brow, and I kept saying grace, grace, grace, hey,
like wake up, wake up, and she started letting out
these little groans, and I could tell her she was
(23:48):
in pain, and I thought, okay, well, let's give her
some time at all and see if she kind of
perks up. And it didn't happen, and then all of
us sudden, I went from zero to one hundred. I'm like,
we need to take her to the er. And there
was a children's hospital, probably a small children's like urgent care,
(24:10):
probably like three miles away. And that was the longest
ride of my life because she's in the car seat,
petech driving. I'm frantic, and she's just this tiny little
blob in a car seat and she just kept making
this noise that was very unusual. And we got to
the hospital and they're like, what's happening, and I said,
(24:33):
you know, she hasn't. It's very unlike her to be
very lethargic and nonresponsive like this. So at that point
I'm thinking, Okay, well, I wonder what's happening and have
them run tests. And that day was the last time
that I saw Grace. Pre brain injury and the brain injury,
(24:55):
she was basically seizing in her sleep NonStop. She was
having seizure after seizure and that was why she couldn't
open her eyes. That was why she was catatonic. She
couldn't move anything. And that's when they did, you know,
a lumbar puncture. They did an EEG, they did an MRI.
All within four hours. So within that span of four hours,
(25:15):
I went from being a mom on tour to am
I gonna have to plan a funeral here? And I
just remember thinking, like life just changes like that, and
this is bad. I wasn't gonna cry, but it's okay. Yeah.
(25:36):
So that led to a month in the ICU in
Dallas and a man, I have gone to so much
therapy and why am I crying?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
No, Jane, it's okay, it's okay, Okay, trust me, I'll
be trying too. I know it. We have tissues here.
Tell them, just tell me when.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
But yeah, it was a month in the ICU. But
even at that point, it didn't seem real that that
she was going to wake up different. And in my heart,
I knew that she was going to wake up, but
I didn't know what version of Grace would come out
on the other side, and it was a completely different kid. Sorry,
it's okay that your followers didn't expect this.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
You know, I'm just I think one thing that I
think is so beautiful is looking at you on social media.
Your bio says, this profile is a love letter to
my beautiful disabled daughter Grace. And when you look at
all your posts, they truly are diary logs. And you
say that you're not into school and you're not BookSmart
(26:45):
and all these things, but Jane, you write so beautifully.
Oh thing, like, you write so beautifully and it's it's
from traumauma, but you convey your emotions so well and
so real and just so raw that anyone can read
(27:05):
your posts and just absolutely feel got wrenched and beside you.
And just the other night when I was catching up
and going through your page, the amount of sobbing that
I did, just because the way you write it's just
so real, like it makes me want to like hug
you through a screen. And I can't imagine how many
people that you've touched and people have reached out to
(27:27):
you through this. So now she's in the hospital. HM,
at what point did you realize within that month or
earlier or later that she was not going to be
the Grace that you once knew.
Speaker 3 (27:39):
We had a number of neurologists come by, and you know,
I started learning the lingo of the hospital, and you
know what an attending was and what a resident is.
I didn't know what any of that stuff was. We
had a different attending every week, and we were there
for a month. And the first attending that we had
was the best one because he she delivered the message
(28:03):
very succinctly, in a very kind way, but didn't beat
around the bush. He was very to the point, and
he said, she's gonna have a difficult life. The damage
to her brain is immense, and it goes all the
way down to the gray matter, which is the very
(28:24):
deepest part of your brain where everything happens. Well, you know,
the brain is an amazing organ and surprisingly through time,
I've learned that as much as we know about the brain,
we don't know anything about the brain. And I think
that open endedness kind of makes things a mystery and
(28:47):
keeps things I wouldn't say interesting. But when she finally
stopped seizing, it was two weeks into the ICU. She
had a tube down her throat and she had these
EEGs all over her brain, these little leads that have
pads that detect the electricity in your brain to see
what's happening. And I just remember every time a technician
(29:10):
came in, they came in and said, your daughter's still seizing.
Your daughter's still seizing.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Because it would happened in her sleep, so it's not
something you saw.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
It's so there's something called subclinical seizures, and those are
seizures that you can't see. They don't take a physical
form like the ones you see in the movies. But
the type of seizure she was happening was in her
brain and it completely shut her body down, so we
weren't able to see any type of jerky movements or anything.
So they put her on a pretty strong cocktail to
(29:42):
basically bring her up to nearly comatose. They were very
close to completely putting her in a coma because her
brain was firing like NonStop, and they had her in
a pretty strong cocktail of drugs to stop the brain activity.
And finally, once they got ahold of the activity in
(30:04):
her brain and the initial injury that had taken place,
was the inflammation had died down and whatnot, they decided
to pull the meds from her to see if she
would come to, and she slowly woke up and she
started opening her eyes and you know, like how long
before she was This was probably two weeks into it. Yeah,
(30:28):
she was still in the hospital, still had the tube
and her throat, and we were all just kind of
standing around her, just waiting to see if she would
move a finger, like maybe move her face, try to
say something through the tube. And I just remember thinking,
she's gonna wake up and she might not be the same,
(30:51):
but she's still my girl. Yeah, But at the same time,
I don't want this girl. I want the old Grace
back because that was the Grace that I fell in
love with, and that was the grace I knew, and
I don't want whatever is going to happen from this
moment forward. And she finally came to they were able
(31:14):
to kind of wake her up. Her SATs for her,
you know, vitals were okay. They took the tube out,
and that was the first time that she was kind
of aware of her surroundings. But her brain injury had
been so severe that she could not make eye contact,
she couldn't move her head. I likened her to like
(31:37):
a Mashie potato, just kind of laying there with leads everywhere,
and the injury that she incurred was insane, to say
the least, and when she woke up, there was nothing
on her face that said I'm still.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Grace, that's still just at ten months knew.
Speaker 3 (31:58):
I just knew that everything that we had known about
her to that point was gone. It was just a
blank slate. And at that point, I just remember feeling
very detached from her, like I don't want I don't
want this kid, right Like there were times where I
felt like it would be better if she passed away,
(32:19):
and I recall calling the nurse when I finally felt
like I wanted to comfort her in some way, and
I asked the nurse, Hey, can you help me with
all the wires? I would love to hold her. I
haven't held her in two weeks. And she said, yeah,
(32:42):
of course I could do that. So I climbed into
bed with her and the nurse There's all these like
wires and different things everywhere, and I didn't want to
pull anything out and you know, IVS or whatever, and
she lifted her up and put her in my arms,
and I just remember letting out this guttural cry, and
it was I don't know, three in the afternoon, and
(33:03):
I'm sure everyone in the ward like could hear me
just sobbing, because it was like the end of a
life and then a beginning of life, trying to get
to know this new person. I'll never forget that moment.
And her body was so stiff. She used to fit
so perfectly in my little nook, and then she was
(33:26):
as stiff as his table, And that typically happens when
you incur a brain injury. Your body pretty much does.
It's not yours anymore in certain ways. So, yeah, that
was a whole month in Dallas of just trauma after trauma.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
So what is the name of the overall diagnosis and
what is your day to day like now? Yeah, and
Grace's day to day.
Speaker 3 (33:49):
So running all these tests on Grace to find if
there was any genetic disorder. Nothing, no genetic disorder, no diagnosis.
Don't even know why she started seizing, And it's a
it's a question left unanswered, but at this point an
answer wouldn't really make a difference. The damage in her
(34:12):
brain is done and she pretty much has lenox Guesto syndrome.
It's basically a fancy name for like drug resistant epilepsy.
So the epilepsy, the shocks to her brain come from
the brain injury that she incurred, and we don't know
why that brain injury occurred. She just ten month old,
(34:32):
just started seizing out of nowhere, so there's really no explanation.
But she honestly is the strongest little girl. Man. These
kids that go through this, like your bad days are
just like not that bad when you see what these
kids go through. And I think that's what makes it
(34:52):
easier to try and put one foot in front of
the other day to day. For me, it's this is
a real treat for me, by the way, because I'm
not at home and.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
Show her well, so welcome to the party.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Yes, she is full care, so I need to get
her up from bread. She's non ambulatory, which means she
can't move on her own, and I dress her, feed
her via a G two in her stomach, and I
know that kind of paints a picture like she just
kind of lays there. But she's a vibrant young girl
(35:30):
for everything that she's been through. She Yeah, she's blowing
my mind and blowing everyone's mind. The doctor's minds. They're like,
we have no idea how she's going to turn out,
but she's blowing everyone's mind.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
How has the process been for you, coping with the
ups and downs and just processing this new life.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Yeah, I am heavily medicated. I've got a lot, you know,
I'm taking an idepressance which kind of levels things out.
And I obviously have a ton of anxiety when it's
anything that to do with Grace, because it's almost like
you need to be like seven steps ahead to make
(36:13):
sure she doesn't get a respiratory illness or you know,
washing her hands, putting like hand sanitizer on her hands,
making sure that she's in like a clean space so
that she doesn't catch any viruses. But in terms of seizures,
I mean she has seizures every day. She's got anywhere
(36:35):
from twelve to twenty a day, and they can range
anywhere from five seconds to three minutes. And it's just
become our normal. And I think a human's ability to
adapt to different outcomes is incredible, not only for our situation,
(36:56):
but like the way Grace adapts to everything, she is incredible.
Sometimes I'm like, how are you my daughter? That's incredible.
It's incredible.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
So what would you say is the most rewarding aspect
about raising Grace?
Speaker 3 (37:13):
She just puts kind of a different perspective to everything.
For me not to say that I still grieve immensely
what could have been. I grieve immensely my journey as
a mother, my experience as a mother, my experience in
general with having a kid. I used to not be
(37:35):
able to go anywhere near a toy aisle because I
couldn't buy a toy that she could interact and play with,
because it's just her motive functions just aren't there. Those
kind of become a periphery because the light that she shines,
like when you're present with her is it just makes
(37:57):
everything else feel so dim and say that those things
don't creep up every now and then. It's hard for
me to be in a space where there are other parents,
other moms that have a typical mothering experience, because I
can't chime in and say, oh, yeah, my kid was
late for the bus and I had to take her
(38:18):
to school. Just little things like that. But I know
that the experience that I'm having is an experience that
was meant for me. And would I go back, and
if I could change anything. I do have some regrets.
I wish I didn't take her to Dallas, and I
wish I didn't have this burning desire to compete again
(38:40):
and just kind of maybe prematurely bring her out, and
would she have gotten sick if we stayed home, like
all those things. But my brain kind of exists in
two different worlds. I guess world where everything I see
is grace and how to make her comfortable and keep
her happy. And on the other side, I'm like, look
(39:02):
at the rest of the world just kind of going
as if nothing happened. Yeah, And it's trying to mold
those two together and be okay with it. And some
days are easier than others. Other days, I'm just like,
the bare minimum I can do is just PLoP her
on the couch and just sit next to her and
(39:24):
have her watch her show while I watch, like I
don't know, Tiger reruns or something just to like or
Kobe reruns. But yeah, it's just about survival honestly most
of the time. But that's just the life of a caregiver.
All you can do is just really try to love
who you're caring for, and she's easy to love.
Speaker 1 (39:45):
I just feel very empathetic because even when you speak
your words of the two different worlds, I just can't
imagine what that must be like that. You know, she
is your world and that is true, but then there's
also this part of you It's like, but the world
is still moving. Yeah, and you can grieve and also love.
You can grieve and also find happiness. And I think
(40:07):
it's just the Jane that I know is the Jane
that's welcoming all the rookies. Jane that I know is
just always so happy and so bubbly. And I think
it's just very real to see you in this light.
I just feel very close and empathetic to you and
seeing your story.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
And I just want you to know that if I'm
sitting here bawling and my makeup is just falling apart,
I can't tell you how many story I can't tell
you how many lives I'm I'm sure you touch, and
how much awareness you bring. And I love how you
speak so loudly for grace and you just love you
(40:48):
love so deeply, and you just deserve so much. You
deserve the world like you really do you do? Oh God,
you do? I know. I'm this has now become a
therapy session. It's honest, is I feel like girl time
is just the girl time.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
This is it really is.
Speaker 1 (41:05):
Yeah, so fast forwards to twenty twenty three. Yeah, you
actually took the time and you stepped back out on
(41:27):
the golf clues and you competed in another LPGA event.
What brought you out to compete again? Were you invited?
Was this a decision of yours?
Speaker 3 (41:37):
It wasn't a decision of mine, but one of the
tournament directors that runs the DOW, which is the team event,
kept reaching out and saying, hey, honestly, it would be
great to have you back, just even if it's just
for that week, because you know, I didn't have a
proper sendoff. I was kind of you know, on the
ladder half of my career and or not even latter half.
(41:58):
I was I wanted to be done soon ish and
want to have another kid. But he just kind of said,
you know, just show up. You can play like crap
and nobody will care. We just want to see you.
And it just he kept asking me, and I was like,
you know what, you know, like the competitor, and me
(42:18):
wanted like time to grind and like you know, get
better and like kind of get my old playing back,
like to be a good competitor. But you know, people
were like, dude, nobody cares. You can go shoot ninety five.
I'm like, yeah, okay, I'll do it. I'll do it.
And you know, I brought Grace and people were so
(42:40):
happy to see her. And I know, Instagram is such
a it's a snippet of someone's life. It's not the
whole picture. And it was just so great to have
people that I hold dearly to my heart as friends
but also complete strangers just come up to me or
(43:01):
like see Grace and just like come running over like,
oh my god, it's great and uh, you know, she'll
just flash her a little smile and yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
And that was it.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
And Paula was my partner. I had been playing against
her since since we were ten. She's got better of
me and like all those years, but she was such
a great partner. She made sure I was comfortable and
we just had a good time. You know, we didn't
make the cut, but I mean it wasn't about that,
and the hobby was on.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
The back watching it. I think, what a moment. So
for you, was that your proper send off that oh
You've always been hoping for.
Speaker 3 (43:39):
It was kind of a you know, now that we're
out of the weeds, and I'm we're in a more
steady place. Let's try and tackle traveling with her, Let's
go and see my friends. And it was such a
welcome back, but it was also like a proper goodbye. Yeah. Yeah,
And I'm totally fine with never playing.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
So that's no chance of saying, Jane parks playing again.
Speaker 3 (44:05):
That's the last time I touched my golf clubs. It
was nearly two years ago.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
Yeah, you don't even just attempt to play for fun
chick in the backyard competitions with Tip.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
I mean those are yeah, whenever she comes in, we
want to do, have to. Yeah, but yeah, that part
of my life. It's almost like that chapter of the
book has turned and it's it used to be my love,
but now I'm like, let's let's fully focus on what's here,
what's now, and not to bring it back to like
(44:34):
a dark place. But I truly just enjoy my time,
my one on one time or like you know, time
in general with Grace because I know she's more prone
to having illnesses, an early death, like all those things,
and those things are constantly on my mind, which is
why I just don't want to be away from her. Ye,
(44:57):
I just want to suck the life out of her
and just her into like a little like ball of nothing. Yeah,
but yeah, there's a lot of perspective that has been
learned in the last few years. I wish it wasn't
through just insane trauma, but but it's my trauma, and
it's my story and it's her story.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Yeah. Yeah, if you could go back and talk to
little Jane maybe before she turned pro, what would.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
You tell her? Wow, it's so cliche. I would tell her, like,
you know, missing a three footer is really not that
big of a deal. It's not a big deal, and
lord knows I have missed a lot of three footers.
But I would just tell her life is going to
(45:51):
challenge you in ways that you would never wish on
your worst enemy. But you're going to be okay. Okay
is relative, I think, And it's okay not to be
okay because you have people that check in on you
and people that are going to be in your corner
(46:12):
and just to.
Speaker 1 (46:14):
Love deeply, which I don't think will ever change.
Speaker 3 (46:19):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
So we're gonna end this pod on a bit of
a lighter now, okay, And we have a funnel game.
I always start my pods with the game and with
the game. Yes, and I made this game custom for you,
and it's called take Me Back. Okay, So I'm going
to show you a photo and you're going to take
me back to that moment and kind of like rapid
fire form like fast story for me, and you're gonna
(46:41):
tell me what's going on, yeah, or that moment. Yeah,
and you just hopefully we bring up some happy moments. Okay, okay, okay,
are ready all right? Here we go take me back?
Speaker 3 (46:53):
Oh man, yeah, us Women's zam Champ. I had been
working so hard for that and I finally had it
in my arms. That trophy is also like insane, by
the way, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (47:03):
Yeah. I thought it was like wider and made skinnier,
like it kind of looks like it's edited, but like
that's legit the trophy and it's from your head to
your torso it's gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
And I had it in my possession for a year
and I broke it.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
How did you break it?
Speaker 3 (47:15):
Oh? You know, you know?
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Things okay, okay, things all right, still happy moment, all right.
I just didn't know what this activation was. Oh, you're
standing next to an astronaut.
Speaker 3 (47:27):
We were in Houston, I believe and we make sense,
and NASA invited us to come toward their facilities. Wow, yeah,
let's go.
Speaker 1 (47:36):
That's wild. Yeah yeah, I love this. I just went
basically went through Getty Images and this is what I
found of you. And I was like, okay, this is
the last one. I just thought that this was a
great throwback. Oh god, look at these photos. If I
could zoom.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
It on, just baby Jane, baby Michelle. Yeah God, why
do I have such an RBF? Oh this is a
great face right here. Yeah, let's say the worst picture
ever and just put it up with Jane.
Speaker 1 (48:07):
Oh god, it's great. Okay, So this is Curtis.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Cup, Curtis Kyle, Curtis Cup.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
What year is it?
Speaker 3 (48:13):
Two thousand and three? Yeah, I was a junior in
high school. Yeah, man, we were. Michelle and I were
just we would just talk about inappropriate things and just
make each other laugh.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
Yeah. You know.
Speaker 3 (48:28):
She was my roommate that week, and you know she's like,
can we push our beds together? I'm kind of scared. Okay, yeah,
I'll yeah, whatever, It's fine.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Oh gosh, I love it. I love how this is
like pre makeup days. It's pree everything. It's like the
awkward years of life.
Speaker 3 (48:48):
She had like clip on earrings and she let me
wear them because I hadn't had my ears pierced yet either.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
But yeah, we'd stay up and play card games and
I love that. It was. It was a good time.
Speaker 1 (49:00):
I can't say it was your prime years, but it
was definitely memorable years. So with that, where can everyone
find you?
Speaker 3 (49:08):
I'm mostly on Instagram at the Jane Park a lot
on Instagram. I also started painting and I made this
little like extra Instagram account. It's called Grace in Every Color. Yeah,
and I just started doing it in like a form
of therapy and it's been really fun. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:25):
All right, so those are the two places that we
could find you. That's it, Jane, Thank you so much
for joining the party.
Speaker 3 (49:31):
Thank you so much. You're amazing.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Welcome to the party with Tisha Allen is an Iheartwoman's
sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports Entertainment. I'm
your host, Taisha Allen. Christina Everett is our executive producer,
and Jennifer Bassett is our producer. Sound Mixing and mastering
by Mary Doo. Special thanks to Jesse Katz at iHeart
and to Jess McCallister and the teams at GERSH and
Catalyst nine. Listen to Welcome to the Party with Tisha
(50:01):
Allen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
get your podcasts.
Host
Tisha Alyn
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