January 8, 2025 • 52 mins
Zoe Winkler and Oliver Hudson open up about their own battles with anxiety — and how it’s shaped their experience as parents. From managing their own nerves to navigating the anxiety their kids face, they share candid stories about marriage, competition, medication and insights on raising children in a world full of stress.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi,
welcome back to another episode of What in the Winkler.
I am so excited because today I have a guest
on that is not a family member again for the
second week in a row. And he's actually a really
(00:25):
good friend of mine, my neighbor, an incredible actor. I
love his kids, I love his sister, I love his wife,
I love his whole family. And so we're going to
welcome Allie Hudson to the show today. Zillie Oliver, What
is happening?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Zoe?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Are you just going to be wearing your sunglasses in
your kitchen for this?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
It's so bad? Wait? Whats thatpp?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
First of all, it's crazy that we're not doing this
in person because you live next door.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Are you at the house? Are you kidding me? Well,
why didn't I just grab a coffee and come over?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I mean I don't have a setup for that, so
we can't do that. But next time we should have
bought this through, explained to me why you're wearing your sunglasses.
At eleven am.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Went out to Mauchine's house holiday party and it was
only eight of us, but Aaron and myself just decided to,
you know, stay up till five.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Am on a Wednesday night, on.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
A Wednesday night, drinking, smoking weed, little maybe a little
mushroom situation. And we leave tomorrow for Colorado. I have
so much to do. We got woken up by Rio
our daughter, and fully dressed, took her antibiotic, made her lunch,
(02:00):
fed the dogs. I mean, this girl's you know, she's
a dream.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Our kids go to the same school. By the way, Yes,
you could have just called us. We could have just
given her.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
She's like, what's happening? I have to go to school?
I mean, I don't know. Aaron's upstairs right now, being
like I cannot believe you have to go talk right now.
I'm like, I have I have so much to do today.
And this is why one of my sunglasses because that
I mean, I am look at this.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I mean, it's better than before when you had like
one school and I so I feel like we're I
feel like we're doing much better. Thanks for making the time.
Thanks for making the time to do this.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
No, what are you nuts? I mean a million percent.
I get up and I'm like, I gotta do Zolway's
podcasts and Aaron's like, what, you have to go talk
right now?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So did Rio get to school? That's my question.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
She did? She got to school, Aaron took her. I
mean she was pulled over. She'd probably get like you.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I cannot believe that this is like still happening. I mean,
if I got home at the time that you got home,
I would be hospitalized.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
No, I know, I know. I think it's a sad,
sad fact that Aaron and I are were kind of pros.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
And I it's because you're not Jewish.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm not proud of that. But hold on, So I
am only because mom my mom's Jewish. Right, So I'm right.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So I guess you are, which is just which proves that,
like maybe it's just you, it's just your constitution.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I think. So. I think it's years of plastic I
did my twenty three and me and I think I'm
twenty four percent.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Ashkana's okay, Well, that's great to know. That's great. I'm
so happy welcome you. So Allie is my neighbor. He
and his wife are good friends of ours. We love them.
His kids go to the same school as my kids.
His few his best friends with my son. So's there's
a lot of crossover.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Well, I think we're more than neighbors, Babe, what are
we I've known you for a thousand years. You have
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
You have, You've seen the evolution.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You've happened to be neighbors later in life, but early,
early on. I've known Zoe for a billion I've seen
it all. I've watched her in Bug. You know, Oh my.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
God, Bug, he got really mad because we talked about
him in one of our episodes. He got mad. He
dm me. I was like, this is slander.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
How is he? By the way, I think he's really good.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I mean we're talking about my ex boyfriend and my
ex boyfriend from like college, and I think he's really good.
He is an amazing wife. She's so nice. They live
around the corner from my sister in law, Rob's sister,
so I see that. I've seen them, and he's killing it.
I think he took over his dad's business and he
has a sweet son. And yeah, could you imagine, I mean,
(05:03):
thank god.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Back in the day, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Like, oh my god, it was wild, wild, all the
boys fighting, and you used to have like New Year's
eve parties. That were the best. Those were the most fun.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Well, we used to take over as well, you know,
we took over mom's house and just into you know,
raging parties. Crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Those were the most fun. Those were so fun. But
you and I have a lot of similarities in some ways.
I mean, we're very different in other ways, Like you
can hang way harder than I can. But we both
grew up with famous parents and then you chose to
go the route of also being famous. I chose that
(05:55):
like you chose that route after extraordinary. And we both
also struggle with anxiety, and you and I have really
connected on that subject.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, I actually I texted you last week. I'm not
about anxiety, but I know that you know all the
good doctors. Anytime I have sort of some mental health
like question, I'm calling Zoe and I I texted you
actually about ADHD. You know, we can get an anxiety
(06:30):
in a minute, because that was It's a huge part
of my life. But I will say to those who
are experiencing anxiety as well, I I've learned to self
talk that I am not my anxiety. It's just is
what it is. Because sometimes I think that we can
(06:51):
attach ourselves to that feeling, and you know, we we
we almost like take it on as our as our personality,
and it's not like it's not who we are, it's
just what's happening. You know. Attachment for me sometimes is
good when I'm having a bit of a bout of it,
(07:11):
even though I am on lexapro. You know, shouldn't me too, same?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Twenty milligrams, babe.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I'm twenty We're the same. Yeah. Well, I wanted to
make shirts that said, like, you know, lexa, like twenty
milligrams lexapro.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You know, it's actually not a bad idea because it
almost not we could start a side hustle in our neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Of destigmatizes it if people are literally wearing like I'm
on Selexa.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, I'm just super honest about it because I think,
and I honestly think that this comes from having, for
me at least having a father that was in the
public eye. I think people always knew something about me
before I knew anything about them, and they have assumed
that I was one way. And so the way that
(08:02):
I would kind of combat that is by being super
self deprecating and open. And so I always like say
the thing before somebody else, before I have like a
feeling that someone else is going to say it.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
So I like overcompensate by just being super like I
and sometimes I even like put myself down, but not
that being on medicine is putting yourself down. But I'm
just so like, oh, no, before you can say anything,
like I know that I'm anxious, I know that I'm sensitive,
I know that i'm you know, all those things. Yeah,
(08:40):
And so sometimes it comes off almost like in a
defensive way. And I don't mean it too because I'm
so you know, but I see it now with my kids,
because they struggle with anxiety, all three of them, in
very different ways. And and so like.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I don't know that Wilder, you know, Wilder did, Yeah, well,
stayed home from school. Wilder's my oldest son. He's seventeen now,
I mean this was in eighth grade. So he stayed
home from school. I took for almost a month, right,
he was feeling.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah, I mean, each of my kids, it's so different
the way it presents, but it's all kind of like
the same theme. And so it's so interesting when you
and it's your kids you're even learning more and more
and more about it, and then you're starting to understand
it better because if you you know, it's this crazy
thing that just takes on a mind of its own,
(09:34):
but it shows up in people so differently.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Oh yeah, the silver lining of you having and going
through what you're going through. And similarly with me, when
your kids do have that experience of feeling anxiety and
at the time they don't even know what it is,
right But and I know this from experience with again Wilder,
(09:58):
I can navigate him so well because I know exactly
what he's going through. You can relate, I can relate,
and I can sort of be a bit of an
anxiety mentor in a way.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
It's so funny because like with Ace, he doesn't want
me to help him with his anxiety. He wants Rob
because I'm so anxious and I try so hard. But
Rob is and Rob my husband has anxiety too, but
in such a different way. You know, he's so just
like cool, calm and collected all the time, and and
(10:30):
and so it's you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Just like an interesting Yeah, Wilder, you know, said to
me in eighth grade, he goes, I don't feel real
this is how it started. And I was like, oh,
what do you mean, because I don't know. I just
don't feel real. And that's like disassociation, you know, you're
disassociating with your body. And I totally fucking get that
where it's like, oh my God, like through my eyeballs.
(10:55):
I'm just like this life doesn't feel real right now,
you know. And I had him right in his journal.
I had him go outside and sort of get quiet
and meditate and you know, go through the process of
sort of understanding what is going on and knowing that
you're not going to die. You know what I'm saying.
These feelings are just feelings. It's not who you are,
(11:16):
and it will you will get through it.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
They don't define you, and it doesn't mean that it's
going to be forever.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
No, not at all, because in that moment.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
It feels like it's just going to be forever, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So like I was, I don't know. Three years ago,
I tried to wean off of lexapro and I did
it correctly, but for whatever reason, my chemistry got all
fucked up, and I had a summer of complete insanity.
I mean, trying to be a dad, you know, going
mountain biking in Colorado, rafting this, this and that, but
(11:49):
every morning waking up like, oh my gosh, I don't
know how to I don't know how to function. But
I had a choice. And it was one of my
worst sort of four months of my acute acute anxiety.
And and I I would never in my I would
never kill myself. I would never do that, right, It's
(12:10):
just not in my nature.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
But I understood why people might, you know, Like I
was like, I'm I'm of sound mind, but if for
whatever reason, I was kind of snapped a little bit,
it is the way that I was going to feel
for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
And I believed that I'm not sure I could do that. Yeah,
I understood essentially, like oh, maybe why someone might do
something like that's help.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
You can understand that the pain sometimes felt like or
the like anxiety just it takes over and it feels
so real even though it's not real, which is the
fucked up thing. And so you could understand like how
somebody would be in that much pain?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, how does how does you know
and stay on anxiety the whole time? But how does
years manifest? Like God, everyone's different, Like in my twenties,
I used to throw up honestly, like if I went
outside a fucking puke, I get it. That's not me everywhere,
that's not me.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I just I percever, like I go on a loop,
like I just like it's like it's always on me.
But then I need to talk about it. And mine
is mainly health, so I have tremendous health anxiety. Like
sometimes I'll just tell Rob, like if I'm not feeling good,
I'll tell him over and over and over again. I'll
be like I know, I know, I know, because I
just have to talk about it. And I and I
(13:35):
have social anxiety too, but people don't know that because
I am social in certain moments, like it's certain it
it'll just like happen. And so like I don't go
to a lot of things that and I felt bad
because like I would be like maybe not showing up
for a friend. This was years ago. Now I'm much
(13:56):
better at it. But because I just couldn't deal with going,
it took so much out of me to like just
my social battery, my my my my battery was just
dead and I would like go and then doing that
would take so much out of me that then I
just sort of sort of stopped doing it and I
would only do things that like made me feel good.
(14:16):
But then I realized I have so much in my
life that I mean so much to me when my
friends show up for like you know, with my nonprofit
or you know. Now that I've all these things and
so now it's like I just book myself solid so
that like I can't stop to feel the excitey, that's
(14:39):
what I do now. So it's just like a mixed bag.
But I mean, like I have a healer who I
was literally talking to before this. Who knows you really,
Jackie Jackie Leonardini. Oh my god, she's my healer.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Oh my god, she's she's amazing.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
She's friends with your friend and Aspen, who I really
want to set up on a date.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And then I have a therapist, and I just like
I really try so hard. I like I'm constantly just
trying everything I have to.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Does the medicine help, I mean, you're drugs, Yeah, it
definitely helps.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
But this idea that like you take this magic pill
and it's like everything it's that's so not true. You
have to do all the tools.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It just it helps manage.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah, it just helps, like you be able to Yeah,
where it's just like overwhelming, but like something will happen
that's so crazy and like so not worth my time.
Like remember when that thing happened with that dad in
my class and I was obsessed with it, obsessed, obsessed,
(15:53):
and I couldn't let it go. It actually came to
a head at Kate's birthday party.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Yeah it wasn't it all all resolved, but the fact
that like I literally couldn't let it go for like months,
Rob was like these people live rent free in your brain,
like and it's just like and I want to stop,
but I can't.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
It's like that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You know what I'm really that you know, you are
sort of a one of a kind human being and
for better or worse, and for me for better, it
makes you who you are. And now I know I
just said anxiety doesn't define you, but there's something about
it with you where it's like that's Zoey, Like you
know what the fuck you're getting with Zoe.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
That is a compliment. I'm very happy for that.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Like she's going to tell you what it's tell you
what's up. And this is part of it's part of
what makes you like charming and funny and all of
those things because you own it.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I do. That's why I love your wife so much.
Does she ever get to come on your podcast? Because
she's just the best person ever.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, she's amazing. We actually had a podcast. Oh yeah,
it was called The Unconsciously Coupled.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
She also, though, is like unapologetically her and I think
it's like the most incredible quality. She's so and I
obviously think it's an incredible quality because I have it too.
But she is just so calm and cool and like
she just gets life in a way that I do not.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah, she sees the great not just she does, she
does in everybody she does, you know, even though you know,
there could be a fucking checklist of why you.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Shouldn't like, and I'll remind her of.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Why, Like she likes them. I know they're hard, Like.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
It's kind of an I mean, it's an amazing quality
because we'll be on walks and I'll be like, did
you hear like that person you know is so not
nice and did you know what they did to me?
And She'll be like, oh, but like I know, but like,
you know, they're great and I love her.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
No, I love her and it's hard to live up.
It's hard to live up to in the sense like okay,
so you're perfect and I'm not, you know, so ah, God,
like how do I how do I sort of live
up to your standards? But she doesn't put that pressure
on you.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Guys are such a great couple because you guys love.
There's so many now that like we're in our well,
you're a lot older than me, but now that I'm
forty four, like I'm forty older, okay, whatever, it's a
lot of years and Rob is seven years older than me.
But I see like couples that just like don't really
like each other and it's such a bummer to be
(18:55):
around because like Rob and I fight and we like bicker,
but we are obsessed with each other. We love each other.
And you and Aaron are the same way. Like, and
it's like it's really hard to like go to dinner
with a couple and like, of course, like there's like
little things and you might get annoyed with each other,
but it's like in a funny way. And then you
go to dinner with somebody and it's like they they're
(19:15):
at that we're at that point now we've been married
almost sixteen years, where like people are starting to like
maybe not like each other, and it's like the most
it's the worst hang because you're just like wait, what
Like then you feel like, you know and not that
like everything's perfect, but like I'm very happy to be
married to Rob. And then I look at these and
(19:36):
I'm like, I don't ever want to hang out with
those people again. They like hate each other. It's so awkward.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I know, you're so right. It's funny. We've been talking
about this because I've never really again, I everyone, you know,
I have a podcast and I broach all kinds of topics,
but it's so true. I've never really talked about that
where you know, we reach this level in marriage or
being together where you know it's you have to sort
of take a look at it and if you become
(20:02):
those people, yeah, it's not a way and a life
to live. And it's so funny because you can get
caught in ruts and yeah, you can become passing ships.
Especially with kids.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah my kids, I mean my youngest is still seven,
so like I am in it with my kids. Your
kids are a little bit older.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But you have to you know that. I know it's
so trite, but that communication is extremely important. And you know,
I found myself, uh, not really communicating much with Aaron
about the way that I feel about wanting to be
loved on a little bit, more about wanting to be
touched and physically felt and I because that's how that's
(20:43):
my love language.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Rob two. But I'm so scared that if I touch
and then we're gonna have to have sex.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
It's the same thing. But I I just like go
like this, yeah, yeah, like just lit on his forehead.
But I in my way, because sometimes it's hard to
bring up these things, and especially as a man, because
it's it's you being vulnerable, and being vulnerable is scary obviously,
(21:17):
and you know you're opening up and you're letting your
guard down a little bit, sort of saying you know,
this is the way that I'm feeling right now and
not easy for me especially, and I think men in
general to do. I did it in my own way,
meaning I was like fucking with her and joking, but
then all of a sudden it spiraled into a real conversation.
She was airing out her sort of grievances with me.
(21:39):
And I was with her in that and it was
very constructive. It wasn't angry, but we hadn't do anything
like that in a long long time. And this was
last week and this week has been like the best
our relationship has been the best it's been in a
long time.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah, you have to have those conversations.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
No, I know, it's crazy and it's weird.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Like my parents would kind of like fight in front
not in front of it, like not crazy fights. But
I always thought it was weird when I heard like, oh,
we never fight, you know, like I think it's important
to see your parents, you know, have disagreements. They don't
always have to. And then like it's so safe, you
know to Then I remember when the when Ace was
(22:20):
firstborn and Rob and I would like I had postpartum anxiety,
not depression, but I was so anxious and I was
like insane and he would say something to me, yeah,
and he would say something to me and I would
be like, I don't know why you're weighing in and
he'd be like because I'm the dad, and I'd be
like no, no, no, like this is not like and I
(22:41):
remember you like, like this is confusing. Why are you
still here.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Yeah, and thank you for your seed. Yeah, I appreciate
it so.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Much and now I got it from here. And I
don't know he would we would like have these conversations
and I don't even remember what I was going to say,
but it's so important, and I get defensive because I
would rather die than hurt someone's feelings or make anyone
feel bad. So sometimes if Rob, and Rob has like
a lot of constructive criticism for me, and sometimes I'm like,
(23:14):
I need you to stop, like start with like a
few things, you know, but he has like a lot
of and so but it's funny because whenever we sort
of get into it and we really talk it, yeah,
I'm just like, I pick one thing, babe today. But
whenever we get into it and we talk it through,
we always end up on the other side. And I'm
(23:36):
so grateful that we have those conversations, even if he
has a hard time being vulnerable and I have a
hard time receiving it because I'll get defensive. Yeah, I know,
we always end up on the other side.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Oh, this is just it's sick relationship shit. One on one.
I mean, yeah, practice what you preach too, and you
have I'm doing your podcast, and we and I have
on my podcast and we sort of, you know, we
we get into these conversations about you know, oh my god,
this is what you need to do. And when we
give advice to friends, you know, it's very sound advice,
(24:08):
but we don't oftentimes follow our own no no, no,
I find myself in that situation all the time, like,
you know what, you got to do this, this and
this and this is what you're feeling. And then I stop.
I'm like, maybe you should do that too, Oliver our
like one hundred.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
It's so much easier to give advice rather than to
like enact it in your life.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Oh I know, but I'm definitely I'm not.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
At the point in my podcast where I'm giving any advice.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I'm just trying to you should Maybe you should. I mean,
I don't know if it's gonna be good advice, but it's.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I don't know. Maybe we'll have it like an ask
Zoe one o one, you know, just ask me something.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Through your filter, like a fuck that and fuck him
and you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'll ask my therapist, I'll ask my healer. We'll get it.
We'll get a full team on on board.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You should bring your healer and therapist on I.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Mean, and I don't think my therapist would ever do it,
but I do think I do think Jackie would do it.
She's so incredible. I went to like a weekend seminar
that she did in O Hi, all about like your Shadow,
and I just fell in love with her. It was
her and Casey Crown they do it together, and I
just like fell in love with them. And now I
work with Jackie, and I I am so grateful. It
really like helps me take a look at like things
(25:21):
from a different point of view.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Are you into psychics and stuff?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Very very much?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
So?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
I have an appointment next week with a psychic named Fay,
who I love to but she follows me on Instagram,
so I don't know. Sometimes like is this just like
the biggest waste of money I've ever you know, just
like I mean it's not crazy expensive, but like it's
still money.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
And it's you know Fay, because you know, I mean,
I've seen a thousand psychics because my mom and if
it's the same Fay, I know Fay very very well.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
It is, I'm sure the same Fay. Are you being sarcastic?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
No, I swear to God I love I should have
got well, tell fucking Faye that all of he says hello,
because I will. No.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I know she said that the podcast, She said my
podcast would be successful. I'm not there. It's not really
working yet. But I'm going to go back and talk
to her about it.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
No. I mean my mother is you know, so into
the oracles, right, yeah? And I have. She's presented all
of that to me at a young age, and I
have sort of taken it on and I've seen them
all and talked to them all, and do.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
You love it?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Like?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Do you get something from it?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Here's what I think. I think that I think that
we're too complicated. Our brains are too complex not to
be able to connect to something bigger and deeper, you know.
And if someone can sort of access that and feel
what they feel, I believe that that that is a
real possibility. There's grain of salt, you know. Obviously it's
(27:03):
not just take it at its word. I do think
that it is. There's positive affirmation to it all to
where when I finish a session, I'm like, everything should.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Be great, amazing. I want to.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Be as famous as my sister and George Clooney. Look
out you know what I mean, Like I leave those
sessions like that, and then I'm like okay, like okay,
you know, but I I have definitely consulted them a bunch,
(27:38):
especially with jobs. When I am in a situation where
I'm like, do I take this job or do I
take this job? Do I leave my kilt my kids
for for two months or not? I'm like calling all
the psychics like what do you think?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Do they all say the same thing. That's what I
want to know.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
They do, honestly, Faye. They was the one who basically
said when I was going to do nash.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah, oh that was my favorite show. It was my
favorite show.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Go do it, Go do it like it's going to
be good for you. I know it's hard because you
just had Rio. Rio was ten days old when I
had to leave for Nashville, and I was really gutting
me because I'm a dad first, Like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You're an Honestly, you're an incredible dad. My kids are
obsessed with you.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Thanks. I love your fucking kids. They're always in my
garage like hey, can I can I have that bike? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Well, during during COVID when I want to get back
to the nashvilleing because I'm so obsessed. But during COVID,
Ollie would set up like full he lives like literally
nuts around the corner and he is on a cul
de sac, and he would set up like these like ramps.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah right there, and he would set up these rams.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And my kids were like, why aren't you more like
Allie to run?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
No? I know, well, you know, we're a big mountain
bike family. And I had a really nice bike that
ever my kids grew out of, and you guys, you
adopted the bike.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
He sure did, We sure did.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
And then body has a suron which is like an
electric motors I see.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I literally just watch him.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, he's the neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And uh, I have a hard time with those bikes.
And whenever Ace goes to bings, they ride those fucking bikes.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
And I know, well Ace is always like Dad, like
I want one, Like I want one of these, and
you need one of these.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
There's a very big difference between your kids and Kate's
kids and my kids. Like your kids know how to
ride those bikes. My kids have no fucking idea they learn.
We bought Ace a full motorcycle helmet.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
You did, Yeah, just walk in Brentwood.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, just to walk, just to walk around the neighborhood.
So like I literally he rides these bikes and I
get pictures from all over the Palisades, Brentwood, like the
West Side with just like a picture of Ace in
a full looking book. And then I also get pictures
from Ace and Bing and River at the farm shop
having machas. And Rob is literally my husband's in construction
(30:16):
and he'll be like, I was just underneath the house
and my fucking twelve year old kid is having a
macha at the farm shop.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
So Bang is my sister's kid, my nephew, and As
and Bing are our best homies.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
They are and they're so cute together. They've been friends
since kindergarten when Ace, you know, they were They've been
in school together since kindergarten. They've been really good friends
ever since. And they are super tight right now.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Yeah, that's so cute.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Wait, you guys just did a skim sad Yeah, I
saw it. It is so good.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, it was fun. We went in New York and
it was a whole family affair. And my kids are like,
what we're going to be in skims at you know,
and they're like, you know, they want to be in
the thing, and and and my you know, the whole family.
And it was it was a blast. I mean it was.
It looked so fun, it was really fun. It was
it was great. It was fun. I mean.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
And you have a production company now.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Right, Yeah. Yeah, it's called slow Burn Deal at Fox,
just producing shows.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
And I love being a deal, just a deal.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
It's just a deal. I love being an actor. But
you know, there's there's too much to do, you know.
I'm an old get into be an old older man now,
and it's just such an unstable occupation, honestly, And it's
from a creative place. It's not as fulfilling as you
might think it is, because you are chasing your next job,
(31:48):
especially in this environment and landscape that are business is
in right now. Like you're kind of chasing a job
jobs like I'm doing. I'm doing a Christmas movie in
February for Netflix with Alicia Solverstone and it's really a sweet,
sweet movie, honestly, it is. At the same time, it's like,
all right, you have to fucking work, you just have to.
(32:10):
My production company allows me to sort of just be
more creative and put my brain out there and my ideas.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
But it's crazy that like actors, it's the only I think,
it's the only profession where you don't get like a
promotion for doing good at your job, you know, Like
there's so many incredible actors who never will work or
who will work and then just never work again, even
though they're so talented, and it's simply it's not based
on their skill. So it's this weird. I'm so grateful
(32:39):
that Rob is no longer an actor.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I would die, I know, but he has some cool
stories though by.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
The way, he can come on a different time and
tell them. Don't they make me.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Want to But but look at your look at your dad.
I mean, who is an iconic you know actor and
I played an iconic character.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
And he went through periods where you couldn't get a
job and he would have to like reinvent him.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Could write a book and what happened, you know, bang
Bury and that's it. Yeah, he's had a resurgence like that,
Yeah happened, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And I'm so grateful for him because he's so happy,
like he's happiest working. I mean, he's seventy nine years old.
And I said to him, like why don't you like
take a break. And he was like, when you take
a break, your body takes a break, and that that
can't happen. Like he just he has to keep going
and working and and he loves it so much and
(33:31):
it brings him so much joy, and that's such a
great I mean, what could be better than that doing
something that you love. But he's one of the like
very few lucky ones.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Your mom, your dad, Yeah, well, Kurt, my dad is
like you know, doing He's in Australia right now. I mean,
he's had a real major sort of resurgence. I mean,
the guy's making probably more money and doing more gigs
than he has in a long time. But Mom, Mom
has chosen a different path, you know what I mean.
Like she still wants to work for the it's got
(34:05):
to be the right thing, right, but she's more about
sort of her foundation and the last twenty years she's
just been building it. And it's a full time job,
you know, So that's sort of what her focus is.
Although I would just fucking die to see her back
on the screen. I just to me, it's a waste,
(34:25):
you know, it's up to her. But was so amazing.
I watched so amazing. I watched a Sugarland Express, which
was one of her first movies, was Spielberg's first movie ever,
and we actually watched it in a in Spielberg's house
at in his theater, which was really cool because he
had a print of it. And she's so fucking amazing
(34:47):
and cute and charismatic and just and when I watched it,
I'm like, Mom, it's not over, like you gotta do
it again, like you have to fucking work again, because
she's so incredible.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
And she's just like comfortable with where she is right
now and focusing on her foundation, and yeah, no, she is.
It's hard sometimes, like with parents, because you want to
I don't know. It's like we're at this age now
where our parents are getting older.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
And I Kate, my sister, I'm just like it's like,
oh my god, my mom. I'm like, Kate, don't yeah,
And she's like I know, but like huh, I'm like,
I know, but don't. We don't need to fucking go
there right now.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
It's truthfully, like yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
It's we don't need to do it, but it's.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Like this weird thing and then you want to sort
of like help and say like, hey, you think you
should do this? I mean, my dad doesn't listen to
me about like anything regarding work. Only Max. I'll be like,
I think you should do that movie and he's like,
I'm going to talk to Max, like okay, but yeah,
(36:02):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
It's the guys that real, Like is that actually true?
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah? Max right now is like, you know, crushing it
right now, he's crushing it. He's working his fucking ass off.
I mean he works seven days a week. You know,
he just had a baby, he had a second baby,
and you know he was back at work.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Does that I know you're sort of being funny, but
do you care? I mean, does that hurt in any way?
Where I don't.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Care at all? And I honestly, I mean I'm so
close to my parents and my brothers and I all
have like really special relationships in different relationships, so like
it's not that doesn't also that that's like not what
I'm good at. Like my favorite movie is Can't Buy
Me Love? Like I'm not, you know, like I'm not like, by.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
The way, yeah, incredible.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Fast movie ever, But I'm saying so like I don't
like go to the movies. That's not like if I
get to go out, like when Rob and I go out,
I want to go out to dinner or like a party.
I don't want to go to a movie, Like I
don't want to like sit in a room and like
not talk and not drink.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, like no, thanks, you know, I
get it. I get so.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
No, it doesn't bother me. I mean I Max is
the only one that really went into competition.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
You have competition. You don't have any competition with your siblings.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
And oh I do have competition with my sibling. But
about being the favorite, not about like work, do.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
You really I mean kind of favorite?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Max?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Like for sure, both.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I think, well, now I might be a.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Man dad like they both Max is the favorite.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Well I handle everything. I handle everything like I handle
like I do. They call me for everything. It's like
family dinner. Is this that organizing? I organize our family trips? Yeah,
with the travel agent. But like I am the one
that's like you know, so I know we have like
different roles, but Max is just easier. Which is like
(38:02):
the last two episodes I did or that before that
was like all about this. My dad actually came on
and with Max and we were talking about how like
he's just an easier child in some ways, he's like
less needy. But as an adult, I don't feel that way.
As an adult, I feel like we're all jed Me, Max,
(38:24):
We're all sort of just like we all have like really,
we're so lucky. We have special relationships with all of
each of our parents, and it's like a you know,
(38:44):
do you feel like there's a favorite in your family?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Oh? Me? I mean my mom, I'm her favorite, like
there's no doubt about it.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, that is so funny.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
No, I mean I think there's a special play for
the first born. Yeah, I'm not saying that overall, like
firstborn is the favorite because the firstborn can be a
fucking crazy person. But there's a special place because this
is where as a parent, you cut your teeth, you
know what I mean. Rio had it so so much
(39:20):
better honestly than I. When you're when you're a first
time parent and you're like, Okay, I don't know what
the fuck to do, and I think I'm going to
sleep train you, and I know you're starving, but the
book says don't fucking feed, So I'm gonna let you
want your fucking eyes.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Out in there it's so psychotic.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Put them on the tit and like let's go. But
we're like no, no, no, you know. And even as
a teenager too, even as they get older and go
through their phases. As a parent, not just infant stuff,
you are cutting your teeth because you are learning from
your first born on how to do it for your
other kids.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
And they're all so different. So it's like you're learning
this one kid and then you're gonna have another kid.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Yeah, who who? Yeah, So you're so right. I mean,
I had a conversation with Wilder once when we were
going through it, and I think it was a school
situation or something, and I was angry, and I might
have said something, you know, that was wrong, or I
accused him of something that wasn't right, or I forget
what it was, but I basically said, look, you know,
(40:23):
you're growing up and you're learning who you are and
how to sort of navigate this new kind of teenage
world and you know, executive functioning and all this shit.
I said, I'm learning too, so I'm going to fuck up.
You're going to fuck them, and by the way, I'm
going to fuck up too, you know, And I think
we have to give each other sort of some grace stuff.
(40:45):
I will always go to my kids and apologize if
you know what, my bad. I shouldn't have yelled, I
shouldn't have done that. I went over the I went
over the line, I didn't know the facts. Whatever, my bad.
You know, I think it's important, you know, honestly, as
a parent, to forgive yourself sometimes for maybe trying and
(41:07):
failing because.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
We I mean all day. Yeah, yeah, I'm nervous about
the teen. I mean, Ace is about to be thirteen.
I actually called Kate the other day because I was like,
you have older kids, like help me, Like I I'm
and I remember when our kids were going into middle school.
She was like, buckle up, babe. She was like, this
is gonna fucking rip you apart. And it's true.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Yeah, it's hard, and.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
It's hard to like know when I'm definitely like the
stricter of all the parents of like his crew, the
four of them, And you know, I don't really allow
play dates or hangs. I guess they'm not called plaates
anywhere like hangs during the week, and He'll always be
like I'm the only one, and I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Know what to tell you, like, why don't you allow hangs?
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Well, first of all, because it's a we have a
lot going on during the week, and I just feel
like he needs to be home and like doing his work,
and like the weekday he can do his thing on
the weekends, but the weekdays are for school. And but
at our school, the kids don't have any fucking homework,
so like, I know, so I'm.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Like, what do I do, Like I'm for contact Zoe.
Alsoe's kids and all my kids go all go to
the same school, different grades, but all the same school.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
And Oliver went there, and my husband went there, and
my brother went there. It's like, you know, and it's
great school, but I wouldn't say it's the homework is not,
you know. So I'm literally like, so the kid comes.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Home, especially Wilder, like wild like he's in eleventh grade,
like his pivotal year, and I'm like, yo, you got homework.
He's like, no, what do you mean? No, everyone has homework.
He's like I know, And then I can look because
you can go online and sort of you know, and
he's like, man, and there's no school. He's like sleeping
in till eleven. I'm like, you this three period. What
(43:01):
and then he's like he goes to school for like
forty eight minutes and he's backing. Yeah, another brief period.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What am
I paying?
Speaker 1 (43:10):
I know, I know, but I so I guess maybe
I have to talk to Rob. Rob is like way
stricter than I am, believe it or not. Very Oh
my god. He is like there and my kids don't
have social media. He doesn't have social media yet, and
I feel like he should get it. He's in seventh grade, Like,
I feel like he should get it, you know, with
(43:31):
the restrictions if he gets good grades in January. And so,
I don't know, we have to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I have I don't know,
as you know, sort of the way that I do things,
it's very kind of liberal as far as parenting goes.
I'm like, oh, I fucking go uh, you know, go
on your motorcycle. Be safe, be fucking smart. That's what
I say whenever my kids leave the house, and like,
be safe, be smart, be smart, be safe. You know.
(44:00):
It's like just have that in the back of your mind.
At the same time, I think the kids need this freedom,
they need to have that independence. They need to get
into trouble. They need to sort of feel what it's
like to pull themselves out of a situation that their
parents aren't going to aren't going to help with, right,
So I let them sort of go social media. You know.
(44:20):
It's like, look, I can't we can't avoid it, you
know what I'm saying. It is part of our the
fabric of our culture right now. Do I love that
they're scrolling through TikTok? You know, no, right, but it
is what it is, and I just try to create
a balance. Like you know, Wilder does jiu jitsu twice
a week. You know, he's an he was an acting
he's an acting class. Like, okay, do that ship and
(44:41):
then you can, you know, you know, be a part
of what this this tech world is, which is just normal,
you know. And for me, I think that the more
that you give it to them, the less they crave it.
I totally agree you hold it back sometimes, like I it's.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
A forbidden fruit. It's like I feel that way with
like sweets, with like everything. It's like if you then
you're gonna have like a kid like eating in your
closet or something.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
My sister like she did not give rider who's now
twenty one years old, But it was like no, I mean,
she was very strict about sugar and this, this and that,
and he would confide in me as a little kid.
He would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night,
right and shake it whatever shit he could and put
it like under his mattress and his pillows and stuff. Right,
(45:32):
it's like I need it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Right, Right, It's hard. It's hard to like know because
you and I are different in that way. Like I
would be like riding a bike next to him on
the motorcycle, like stay safe, but like it's just it's
very hard for me. So it's like it's I'm learning
and I'm learning as I go.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
With Aaron, She's it's not easy for her. Yeah, but
Aaron took selects. Aaron's on selecsa that like she seems
like even person, but she had that real anxiety, like
real anxiety, and she was she was always like sort
of catastrophizing, you know what, I do that all the time. Yeah,
(46:11):
And it got so prominent and the visuals were so
real that I mean that she had to take on
is on SELECTSA to sort of curb those thoughts, because yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
There, intrusive thoughts are real, and they feel at the
time like it's like I'll talk to people and they'll
be like, well, has that ever happened, And it's like, no, motherfucker,
it's never happened, but it's going to this time, you know,
because it feels like in that moment, like there's nothing
you can do and it just it's like it's so
I'm always so envious of people who just like don't
(46:45):
have that gene or that back because it's like I
don't even know what that would feel like to just
sort of like simply just be like we're good, everything's good.
It's a warning amazing, you know, Like I.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
Just I don't well, it doesn't help that we are
inundated with you know, just fear based yeah, content. Yeah,
I especially like you know, with social media and your algorithm.
The minute you click on you know, you know your
son is kidnapped and raped and you're like, oh yeah,
and then when you're fed all of that shit and
(47:22):
now that its perpetuates your brain and you're just like,
oh my god, that's gonna happen to ace. Yeah, leaving
the house. You know, you're just watching videos of kids
and hearing reading articles like the kid dies on an
e bite and you're just like, oh my god, you're
never on writing an eb that's true.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Actually that did happen, and I and I and I
that's why the child now wears a full But I mean,
how can like some of these things, like how can
they be good? Like we're giving our twelve year old
boys motorcycles? Like that's crazy?
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Yeah, I mean is it? Though?
Speaker 1 (47:57):
I mean kind of, But I mean your kids, you know,
spends so much time in Colorado outdoors like you you know,
it's just totally different. You know, my kids are like.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Totally and I'm not I'm not saying, you know, be
reckless with it, but no, I know I was in
I was in New Jersey working. This is like last month,
and Aaron calls me and she goes, so body wants
to go on a ride out. I'm like, okay, I'm like,
what's a ride out?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
She texts me this YouTube video of a ride out
where all of these kids meet up at a location.
When I say all, I mean like fifty to one hundred,
like seventy kids.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
On like strangers yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Posted on social media or the rideout is happening here
and there's like seventy of these fucking kids on their
e motorcycles or surans and so you know, like but
bing has all this stuff, and Aaron's like, I'm going
to take him. I'm like what she put my put
his bike in my truck and took him to this
ride out that already in Culver City. And he went
(49:04):
from Culver City all the way to Marina del Rey
into Santa Monica, up through Brentwood blah blah blah in
the middle of the fucking street. I have videos of
my son like wheeling down like Venice Boulevard.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Bless you, I mean me.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
I was like, what is going on is highly illegal?
Like you saw you're fourteen in the street with a
pack of kids in traffic, meaning like you're on a sidewalk.
They'd taken over the road. And I was like, all right,
did you have fun? He goes that was amazing. I
was like, great, because that's the last time you fucking
(49:45):
do that.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
But you let him.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
I did because you know, I'm like that experience, you know,
that sort of feeling that he had and trusting him
even though honestly, probably was not the best choice for me,
even as a parent who is pretty lenient with that stuff.
Probably not the best choice because I know it's illegal.
(50:09):
He shouldn't even be on that bike in the street
right now. But at the same time, like you know,
have have a moment, you know, have an experience.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Live your life, live your life. I do most do
you think that most of these parents that are like
your kids friends parents, they are kind of like on
the same page as you.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
We're definitely the more the crazy or more lenient family,
like one hundred percent, you know for sure, you know,
I mean Sam is pretty lenient as well. I think like.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Aaron, Sam is one of my best friends and one
of their best friends, who also is our.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Neighbor, like right there, but yeah, I think Aaron and
and our family has maybe rubbed off on them a
little bit. But their daughter Land and his best friends
with my son, and she's I mean, it's like an
open door policy. And their kids are in and out
(51:07):
of my house like all the time. And she comes
in last night and she's like panting, like what the
hell is going on? It's the day, it is still light,
and she was afraid that she was going to get
kidnapped from her house, which is like literally across the
street five printed here. And it's funny. I mean it's
it's like I was like what I was like, She goes,
(51:29):
I got a friend kidnapped. I'm like, you're oh my god,
and that's Mitch. That's not even Sam. Mitch is Sam's husband.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
It's actually me telling her, just kidding. For your life, Ollie,
I love you, Thank you for doing this.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
Of course, babe, anything for you.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
Are you going back to sleep?
Speaker 2 (51:49):
No, I have to wake up at five am and
drive to Colorado tomorrow, so.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
I have this crazy. This was crazy, This was amazing.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
It was really fast to what I've done, but it
was good for me because it got me my ass up.
I have infused some energy into my body and I'm
ready to start Agay
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Okay, good well, I love you, thank you, Bye bye
You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi,
welcome back to another episode of What in the Winkler.
I am so excited because today I have a guest
on that is not a family member again for the
second week in a row. And he's actually a really
(00:25):
good friend of mine, my neighbor, an incredible actor. I
love his kids, I love his sister, I love his wife,
I love his whole family. And so we're going to
welcome Allie Hudson to the show today. Zillie Oliver, What
is happening?
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Zoe?
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Are you just going to be wearing your sunglasses in
your kitchen for this?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
It's so bad? Wait? Whats thatpp?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
First of all, it's crazy that we're not doing this
in person because you live next door.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Are you at the house? Are you kidding me? Well,
why didn't I just grab a coffee and come over?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
I mean I don't have a setup for that, so
we can't do that. But next time we should have
bought this through, explained to me why you're wearing your sunglasses.
At eleven am.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Went out to Mauchine's house holiday party and it was
only eight of us, but Aaron and myself just decided to,
you know, stay up till five.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Am on a Wednesday night, on.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
A Wednesday night, drinking, smoking weed, little maybe a little
mushroom situation. And we leave tomorrow for Colorado. I have
so much to do. We got woken up by Rio
our daughter, and fully dressed, took her antibiotic, made her lunch,
(02:00):
fed the dogs. I mean, this girl's you know, she's
a dream.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Our kids go to the same school. By the way, Yes,
you could have just called us. We could have just
given her.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
She's like, what's happening? I have to go to school?
I mean, I don't know. Aaron's upstairs right now, being
like I cannot believe you have to go talk right now.
I'm like, I have I have so much to do today.
And this is why one of my sunglasses because that
I mean, I am look at this.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I mean, it's better than before when you had like
one school and I so I feel like we're I
feel like we're doing much better. Thanks for making the time.
Thanks for making the time to do this.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
No, what are you nuts? I mean a million percent.
I get up and I'm like, I gotta do Zolway's
podcasts and Aaron's like, what, you have to go talk
right now?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
So did Rio get to school? That's my question.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
She did? She got to school, Aaron took her. I
mean she was pulled over. She'd probably get like you.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I cannot believe that this is like still happening. I mean,
if I got home at the time that you got home,
I would be hospitalized.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
No, I know, I know. I think it's a sad,
sad fact that Aaron and I are were kind of pros.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
And I it's because you're not Jewish.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I'm not proud of that. But hold on, So I
am only because mom my mom's Jewish. Right, So I'm right.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
So I guess you are, which is just which proves that,
like maybe it's just you, it's just your constitution.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
I think. So. I think it's years of plastic I
did my twenty three and me and I think I'm
twenty four percent.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Ashkana's okay, Well, that's great to know. That's great. I'm
so happy welcome you. So Allie is my neighbor. He
and his wife are good friends of ours. We love them.
His kids go to the same school as my kids.
His few his best friends with my son. So's there's
a lot of crossover.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Well, I think we're more than neighbors, Babe, what are
we I've known you for a thousand years. You have
you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
You have, You've seen the evolution.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
You've happened to be neighbors later in life, but early,
early on. I've known Zoe for a billion I've seen
it all. I've watched her in Bug. You know, Oh my.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
God, Bug, he got really mad because we talked about
him in one of our episodes. He got mad. He
dm me. I was like, this is slander.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
How is he? By the way, I think he's really good.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I mean we're talking about my ex boyfriend and my
ex boyfriend from like college, and I think he's really good.
He is an amazing wife. She's so nice. They live
around the corner from my sister in law, Rob's sister,
so I see that. I've seen them, and he's killing it.
I think he took over his dad's business and he
has a sweet son. And yeah, could you imagine, I mean,
(05:03):
thank god.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
Back in the day, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Like, oh my god, it was wild, wild, all the
boys fighting, and you used to have like New Year's
eve parties. That were the best. Those were the most fun.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Well, we used to take over as well, you know,
we took over mom's house and just into you know,
raging parties. Crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Those were the most fun. Those were so fun. But
you and I have a lot of similarities in some ways.
I mean, we're very different in other ways, Like you
can hang way harder than I can. But we both
grew up with famous parents and then you chose to
go the route of also being famous. I chose that
(05:55):
like you chose that route after extraordinary. And we both
also struggle with anxiety, and you and I have really
connected on that subject.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, I actually I texted you last week. I'm not
about anxiety, but I know that you know all the
good doctors. Anytime I have sort of some mental health
like question, I'm calling Zoe and I I texted you
actually about ADHD. You know, we can get an anxiety
(06:30):
in a minute, because that was It's a huge part
of my life. But I will say to those who
are experiencing anxiety as well, I I've learned to self
talk that I am not my anxiety. It's just is
what it is. Because sometimes I think that we can
(06:51):
attach ourselves to that feeling, and you know, we we
we almost like take it on as our as our personality,
and it's not like it's not who we are, it's
just what's happening. You know. Attachment for me sometimes is
good when I'm having a bit of a bout of it,
(07:11):
even though I am on lexapro. You know, shouldn't me too, same?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Twenty milligrams, babe.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
I'm twenty We're the same. Yeah. Well, I wanted to
make shirts that said, like, you know, lexa, like twenty
milligrams lexapro.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
You know, it's actually not a bad idea because it
almost not we could start a side hustle in our neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Of destigmatizes it if people are literally wearing like I'm
on Selexa.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Yeah, I'm just super honest about it because I think,
and I honestly think that this comes from having, for
me at least having a father that was in the
public eye. I think people always knew something about me
before I knew anything about them, and they have assumed
that I was one way. And so the way that
(08:02):
I would kind of combat that is by being super
self deprecating and open. And so I always like say
the thing before somebody else, before I have like a
feeling that someone else is going to say it.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
So I like overcompensate by just being super like I
and sometimes I even like put myself down, but not
that being on medicine is putting yourself down. But I'm
just so like, oh, no, before you can say anything,
like I know that I'm anxious, I know that I'm sensitive,
I know that i'm you know, all those things. Yeah,
(08:40):
And so sometimes it comes off almost like in a
defensive way. And I don't mean it too because I'm
so you know, but I see it now with my kids,
because they struggle with anxiety, all three of them, in
very different ways. And and so like.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I don't know that Wilder, you know, Wilder did, Yeah, well,
stayed home from school. Wilder's my oldest son. He's seventeen now,
I mean this was in eighth grade. So he stayed
home from school. I took for almost a month, right,
he was feeling.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Yeah, I mean, each of my kids, it's so different
the way it presents, but it's all kind of like
the same theme. And so it's so interesting when you
and it's your kids you're even learning more and more
and more about it, and then you're starting to understand
it better because if you you know, it's this crazy
thing that just takes on a mind of its own,
(09:34):
but it shows up in people so differently.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Oh yeah, the silver lining of you having and going
through what you're going through. And similarly with me, when
your kids do have that experience of feeling anxiety and
at the time they don't even know what it is,
right But and I know this from experience with again Wilder,
(09:58):
I can navigate him so well because I know exactly
what he's going through. You can relate, I can relate,
and I can sort of be a bit of an
anxiety mentor in a way.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
It's so funny because like with Ace, he doesn't want
me to help him with his anxiety. He wants Rob
because I'm so anxious and I try so hard. But
Rob is and Rob my husband has anxiety too, but
in such a different way. You know, he's so just
like cool, calm and collected all the time, and and
(10:30):
and so it's you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Just like an interesting Yeah, Wilder, you know, said to
me in eighth grade, he goes, I don't feel real
this is how it started. And I was like, oh,
what do you mean, because I don't know. I just
don't feel real. And that's like disassociation, you know, you're
disassociating with your body. And I totally fucking get that
where it's like, oh my God, like through my eyeballs.
(10:55):
I'm just like this life doesn't feel real right now,
you know. And I had him right in his journal.
I had him go outside and sort of get quiet
and meditate and you know, go through the process of
sort of understanding what is going on and knowing that
you're not going to die. You know what I'm saying.
These feelings are just feelings. It's not who you are,
(11:16):
and it will you will get through it.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
They don't define you, and it doesn't mean that it's
going to be forever.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
No, not at all, because in that moment.
Speaker 1 (11:23):
It feels like it's just going to be forever, you know.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
So like I was, I don't know. Three years ago,
I tried to wean off of lexapro and I did
it correctly, but for whatever reason, my chemistry got all
fucked up, and I had a summer of complete insanity.
I mean, trying to be a dad, you know, going
mountain biking in Colorado, rafting this, this and that, but
(11:49):
every morning waking up like, oh my gosh, I don't
know how to I don't know how to function. But
I had a choice. And it was one of my
worst sort of four months of my acute acute anxiety.
And and I I would never in my I would
never kill myself. I would never do that, right, It's
(12:10):
just not in my nature.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
But I understood why people might, you know, Like I
was like, I'm I'm of sound mind, but if for
whatever reason, I was kind of snapped a little bit,
it is the way that I was going to feel
for the rest of my life.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
And I believed that I'm not sure I could do that. Yeah,
I understood essentially, like oh, maybe why someone might do
something like that's help.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
You can understand that the pain sometimes felt like or
the like anxiety just it takes over and it feels
so real even though it's not real, which is the
fucked up thing. And so you could understand like how
somebody would be in that much pain?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
But yeah, yeah, yeah, how does how does you know
and stay on anxiety the whole time? But how does
years manifest? Like God, everyone's different, Like in my twenties,
I used to throw up honestly, like if I went
outside a fucking puke, I get it. That's not me everywhere,
that's not me.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I just I percever, like I go on a loop,
like I just like it's like it's always on me.
But then I need to talk about it. And mine
is mainly health, so I have tremendous health anxiety. Like
sometimes I'll just tell Rob, like if I'm not feeling good,
I'll tell him over and over and over again. I'll
be like I know, I know, I know, because I
just have to talk about it. And I and I
(13:35):
have social anxiety too, but people don't know that because
I am social in certain moments, like it's certain it
it'll just like happen. And so like I don't go
to a lot of things that and I felt bad
because like I would be like maybe not showing up
for a friend. This was years ago. Now I'm much
(13:56):
better at it. But because I just couldn't deal with going,
it took so much out of me to like just
my social battery, my my my my battery was just
dead and I would like go and then doing that
would take so much out of me that then I
just sort of sort of stopped doing it and I
would only do things that like made me feel good.
(14:16):
But then I realized I have so much in my
life that I mean so much to me when my
friends show up for like you know, with my nonprofit
or you know. Now that I've all these things and
so now it's like I just book myself solid so
that like I can't stop to feel the excitey, that's
(14:39):
what I do now. So it's just like a mixed bag.
But I mean, like I have a healer who I
was literally talking to before this. Who knows you really,
Jackie Jackie Leonardini. Oh my god, she's my healer.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Oh my god, she's she's amazing.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
She's friends with your friend and Aspen, who I really
want to set up on a date.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And then I have a therapist, and I just like
I really try so hard. I like I'm constantly just
trying everything I have to.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Does the medicine help, I mean, you're drugs, Yeah, it
definitely helps.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
But this idea that like you take this magic pill
and it's like everything it's that's so not true. You
have to do all the tools.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It just it helps manage.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Yeah, it just helps, like you be able to Yeah,
where it's just like overwhelming, but like something will happen
that's so crazy and like so not worth my time.
Like remember when that thing happened with that dad in
my class and I was obsessed with it, obsessed, obsessed,
(15:53):
and I couldn't let it go. It actually came to
a head at Kate's birthday party.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Yeah it wasn't it all all resolved, but the fact
that like I literally couldn't let it go for like months,
Rob was like these people live rent free in your brain,
like and it's just like and I want to stop,
but I can't.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
It's like that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You know what I'm really that you know, you are
sort of a one of a kind human being and
for better or worse, and for me for better, it
makes you who you are. And now I know I
just said anxiety doesn't define you, but there's something about
it with you where it's like that's Zoey, Like you
know what the fuck you're getting with Zoe.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
That is a compliment. I'm very happy for that.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Like she's going to tell you what it's tell you
what's up. And this is part of it's part of
what makes you like charming and funny and all of
those things because you own it.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
I do. That's why I love your wife so much.
Does she ever get to come on your podcast? Because
she's just the best person ever.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, she's amazing. We actually had a podcast. Oh yeah,
it was called The Unconsciously Coupled.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
She also, though, is like unapologetically her and I think
it's like the most incredible quality. She's so and I
obviously think it's an incredible quality because I have it too.
But she is just so calm and cool and like
she just gets life in a way that I do not.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Yeah, she sees the great not just she does, she
does in everybody she does, you know, even though you know,
there could be a fucking checklist of why you.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Shouldn't like, and I'll remind her of.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
Why, Like she likes them. I know they're hard, Like.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
It's kind of an I mean, it's an amazing quality
because we'll be on walks and I'll be like, did
you hear like that person you know is so not
nice and did you know what they did to me?
And She'll be like, oh, but like I know, but like,
you know, they're great and I love her.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
No, I love her and it's hard to live up.
It's hard to live up to in the sense like okay,
so you're perfect and I'm not, you know, so ah, God,
like how do I how do I sort of live
up to your standards? But she doesn't put that pressure
on you.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Guys are such a great couple because you guys love.
There's so many now that like we're in our well,
you're a lot older than me, but now that I'm
forty four, like I'm forty older, okay, whatever, it's a
lot of years and Rob is seven years older than me.
But I see like couples that just like don't really
like each other and it's such a bummer to be
(18:55):
around because like Rob and I fight and we like bicker,
but we are obsessed with each other. We love each other.
And you and Aaron are the same way. Like, and
it's like it's really hard to like go to dinner
with a couple and like, of course, like there's like
little things and you might get annoyed with each other,
but it's like in a funny way. And then you
go to dinner with somebody and it's like they they're
(19:15):
at that we're at that point now we've been married
almost sixteen years, where like people are starting to like
maybe not like each other, and it's like the most
it's the worst hang because you're just like wait, what
Like then you feel like, you know and not that
like everything's perfect, but like I'm very happy to be
married to Rob. And then I look at these and
(19:36):
I'm like, I don't ever want to hang out with
those people again. They like hate each other. It's so awkward.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I know, you're so right. It's funny. We've been talking
about this because I've never really again, I everyone, you know,
I have a podcast and I broach all kinds of topics,
but it's so true. I've never really talked about that
where you know, we reach this level in marriage or
being together where you know it's you have to sort
of take a look at it and if you become
(20:02):
those people, yeah, it's not a way and a life
to live. And it's so funny because you can get
caught in ruts and yeah, you can become passing ships.
Especially with kids.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah my kids, I mean my youngest is still seven,
so like I am in it with my kids. Your
kids are a little bit older.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
But you have to you know that. I know it's
so trite, but that communication is extremely important. And you know,
I found myself, uh, not really communicating much with Aaron
about the way that I feel about wanting to be
loved on a little bit, more about wanting to be
touched and physically felt and I because that's how that's
(20:43):
my love language.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Rob two. But I'm so scared that if I touch
and then we're gonna have to have sex.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
It's the same thing. But I I just like go
like this, yeah, yeah, like just lit on his forehead.
But I in my way, because sometimes it's hard to
bring up these things, and especially as a man, because
it's it's you being vulnerable, and being vulnerable is scary obviously,
(21:17):
and you know you're opening up and you're letting your
guard down a little bit, sort of saying you know,
this is the way that I'm feeling right now and
not easy for me especially, and I think men in
general to do. I did it in my own way,
meaning I was like fucking with her and joking, but
then all of a sudden it spiraled into a real conversation.
She was airing out her sort of grievances with me.
(21:39):
And I was with her in that and it was
very constructive. It wasn't angry, but we hadn't do anything
like that in a long long time. And this was
last week and this week has been like the best
our relationship has been the best it's been in a
long time.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yeah, you have to have those conversations.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
No, I know, it's crazy and it's weird.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Like my parents would kind of like fight in front
not in front of it, like not crazy fights. But
I always thought it was weird when I heard like, oh,
we never fight, you know, like I think it's important
to see your parents, you know, have disagreements. They don't
always have to. And then like it's so safe, you
know to Then I remember when the when Ace was
(22:20):
firstborn and Rob and I would like I had postpartum anxiety,
not depression, but I was so anxious and I was
like insane and he would say something to me, yeah,
and he would say something to me and I would
be like, I don't know why you're weighing in and
he'd be like because I'm the dad, and I'd be
like no, no, no, like this is not like and I
(22:41):
remember you like, like this is confusing. Why are you
still here.
Speaker 2 (22:45):
Yeah, and thank you for your seed. Yeah, I appreciate
it so.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Much and now I got it from here. And I
don't know he would we would like have these conversations
and I don't even remember what I was going to say,
but it's so important, and I get defensive because I
would rather die than hurt someone's feelings or make anyone
feel bad. So sometimes if Rob, and Rob has like
a lot of constructive criticism for me, and sometimes I'm like,
(23:14):
I need you to stop, like start with like a
few things, you know, but he has like a lot
of and so but it's funny because whenever we sort
of get into it and we really talk it, yeah,
I'm just like, I pick one thing, babe today. But
whenever we get into it and we talk it through,
we always end up on the other side. And I'm
(23:36):
so grateful that we have those conversations, even if he
has a hard time being vulnerable and I have a
hard time receiving it because I'll get defensive. Yeah, I know,
we always end up on the other side.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
Oh, this is just it's sick relationship shit. One on one.
I mean, yeah, practice what you preach too, and you
have I'm doing your podcast, and we and I have
on my podcast and we sort of, you know, we
we get into these conversations about you know, oh my god,
this is what you need to do. And when we
give advice to friends, you know, it's very sound advice,
(24:08):
but we don't oftentimes follow our own no no, no,
I find myself in that situation all the time, like,
you know what, you got to do this, this and
this and this is what you're feeling. And then I stop.
I'm like, maybe you should do that too, Oliver our
like one hundred.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
It's so much easier to give advice rather than to
like enact it in your life.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Oh I know, but I'm definitely I'm not.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
At the point in my podcast where I'm giving any advice.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
I'm just trying to you should Maybe you should. I mean,
I don't know if it's gonna be good advice, but it's.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I don't know. Maybe we'll have it like an ask
Zoe one o one, you know, just ask me something.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Through your filter, like a fuck that and fuck him
and you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
I'll ask my therapist, I'll ask my healer. We'll get it.
We'll get a full team on on board.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You should bring your healer and therapist on I.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Mean, and I don't think my therapist would ever do it,
but I do think I do think Jackie would do it.
She's so incredible. I went to like a weekend seminar
that she did in O Hi, all about like your Shadow,
and I just fell in love with her. It was
her and Casey Crown they do it together, and I
just like fell in love with them. And now I
work with Jackie, and I I am so grateful. It
really like helps me take a look at like things
(25:21):
from a different point of view.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Are you into psychics and stuff?
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Very very much?
Speaker 2 (25:26):
So?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
I have an appointment next week with a psychic named Fay,
who I love to but she follows me on Instagram,
so I don't know. Sometimes like is this just like
the biggest waste of money I've ever you know, just
like I mean it's not crazy expensive, but like it's
still money.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
And it's you know Fay, because you know, I mean,
I've seen a thousand psychics because my mom and if
it's the same Fay, I know Fay very very well.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
It is, I'm sure the same Fay. Are you being sarcastic?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
No, I swear to God I love I should have
got well, tell fucking Faye that all of he says hello,
because I will. No.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I know she said that the podcast, She said my
podcast would be successful. I'm not there. It's not really
working yet. But I'm going to go back and talk
to her about it.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
No. I mean my mother is you know, so into
the oracles, right, yeah? And I have. She's presented all
of that to me at a young age, and I
have sort of taken it on and I've seen them
all and talked to them all, and do.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
You love it?
Speaker 2 (26:40):
Like?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Do you get something from it?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Here's what I think. I think that I think that
we're too complicated. Our brains are too complex not to
be able to connect to something bigger and deeper, you know.
And if someone can sort of access that and feel
what they feel, I believe that that that is a
real possibility. There's grain of salt, you know. Obviously it's
(27:03):
not just take it at its word. I do think
that it is. There's positive affirmation to it all to
where when I finish a session, I'm like, everything should.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Be great, amazing. I want to.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Be as famous as my sister and George Clooney. Look
out you know what I mean, Like I leave those
sessions like that, and then I'm like okay, like okay,
you know, but I I have definitely consulted them a bunch,
(27:38):
especially with jobs. When I am in a situation where
I'm like, do I take this job or do I
take this job? Do I leave my kilt my kids
for for two months or not? I'm like calling all
the psychics like what do you think?
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Do they all say the same thing. That's what I
want to know.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
They do, honestly, Faye. They was the one who basically
said when I was going to do nash.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah, oh that was my favorite show. It was my
favorite show.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Go do it, Go do it like it's going to
be good for you. I know it's hard because you
just had Rio. Rio was ten days old when I
had to leave for Nashville, and I was really gutting
me because I'm a dad first, Like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
You're an Honestly, you're an incredible dad. My kids are
obsessed with you.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Thanks. I love your fucking kids. They're always in my
garage like hey, can I can I have that bike? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Well, during during COVID when I want to get back
to the nashvilleing because I'm so obsessed. But during COVID,
Ollie would set up like full he lives like literally
nuts around the corner and he is on a cul
de sac, and he would set up like these like ramps.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
Yeah right there, and he would set up these rams.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And my kids were like, why aren't you more like
Allie to run?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
No? I know, well, you know, we're a big mountain
bike family. And I had a really nice bike that
ever my kids grew out of, and you guys, you
adopted the bike.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
He sure did, We sure did.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
And then body has a suron which is like an
electric motors I see.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
I literally just watch him.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, he's the neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And uh, I have a hard time with those bikes.
And whenever Ace goes to bings, they ride those fucking bikes.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
And I know, well Ace is always like Dad, like
I want one, Like I want one of these, and
you need one of these.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
There's a very big difference between your kids and Kate's
kids and my kids. Like your kids know how to
ride those bikes. My kids have no fucking idea they learn.
We bought Ace a full motorcycle helmet.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
You did, Yeah, just walk in Brentwood.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Yeah, just to walk, just to walk around the neighborhood.
So like I literally he rides these bikes and I
get pictures from all over the Palisades, Brentwood, like the
West Side with just like a picture of Ace in
a full looking book. And then I also get pictures
from Ace and Bing and River at the farm shop
having machas. And Rob is literally my husband's in construction
(30:16):
and he'll be like, I was just underneath the house
and my fucking twelve year old kid is having a
macha at the farm shop.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
So Bang is my sister's kid, my nephew, and As
and Bing are our best homies.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
They are and they're so cute together. They've been friends
since kindergarten when Ace, you know, they were They've been
in school together since kindergarten. They've been really good friends
ever since. And they are super tight right now.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
Yeah, that's so cute.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Wait, you guys just did a skim sad Yeah, I
saw it. It is so good.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah, it was fun. We went in New York and
it was a whole family affair. And my kids are like,
what we're going to be in skims at you know,
and they're like, you know, they want to be in
the thing, and and and my you know, the whole family.
And it was it was a blast. I mean it was.
It looked so fun, it was really fun. It was
it was great. It was fun. I mean.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
And you have a production company now.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Right, Yeah. Yeah, it's called slow Burn Deal at Fox,
just producing shows.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
And I love being a deal, just a deal.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
It's just a deal. I love being an actor. But
you know, there's there's too much to do, you know.
I'm an old get into be an old older man now,
and it's just such an unstable occupation, honestly, And it's
from a creative place. It's not as fulfilling as you
might think it is, because you are chasing your next job,
(31:48):
especially in this environment and landscape that are business is
in right now. Like you're kind of chasing a job
jobs like I'm doing. I'm doing a Christmas movie in
February for Netflix with Alicia Solverstone and it's really a sweet,
sweet movie, honestly, it is. At the same time, it's like,
all right, you have to fucking work, you just have to.
(32:10):
My production company allows me to sort of just be
more creative and put my brain out there and my ideas.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
But it's crazy that like actors, it's the only I think,
it's the only profession where you don't get like a
promotion for doing good at your job, you know, Like
there's so many incredible actors who never will work or
who will work and then just never work again, even
though they're so talented, and it's simply it's not based
on their skill. So it's this weird. I'm so grateful
(32:39):
that Rob is no longer an actor.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I would die, I know, but he has some cool
stories though by.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
The way, he can come on a different time and
tell them. Don't they make me.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
Want to But but look at your look at your dad.
I mean, who is an iconic you know actor and
I played an iconic character.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
And he went through periods where you couldn't get a
job and he would have to like reinvent him.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Could write a book and what happened, you know, bang
Bury and that's it. Yeah, he's had a resurgence like that,
Yeah happened, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And I'm so grateful for him because he's so happy,
like he's happiest working. I mean, he's seventy nine years old.
And I said to him, like why don't you like
take a break. And he was like, when you take
a break, your body takes a break, and that that
can't happen. Like he just he has to keep going
and working and and he loves it so much and
(33:31):
it brings him so much joy, and that's such a
great I mean, what could be better than that doing
something that you love. But he's one of the like
very few lucky ones.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Your mom, your dad, Yeah, well, Kurt, my dad is
like you know, doing He's in Australia right now. I mean,
he's had a real major sort of resurgence. I mean,
the guy's making probably more money and doing more gigs
than he has in a long time. But Mom, Mom
has chosen a different path, you know what I mean.
Like she still wants to work for the it's got
(34:05):
to be the right thing, right, but she's more about
sort of her foundation and the last twenty years she's
just been building it. And it's a full time job,
you know, So that's sort of what her focus is.
Although I would just fucking die to see her back
on the screen. I just to me, it's a waste,
(34:25):
you know, it's up to her. But was so amazing.
I watched so amazing. I watched a Sugarland Express, which
was one of her first movies, was Spielberg's first movie ever,
and we actually watched it in a in Spielberg's house
at in his theater, which was really cool because he
had a print of it. And she's so fucking amazing
(34:47):
and cute and charismatic and just and when I watched it,
I'm like, Mom, it's not over, like you gotta do
it again, like you have to fucking work again, because
she's so incredible.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
And she's just like comfortable with where she is right
now and focusing on her foundation, and yeah, no, she is.
It's hard sometimes, like with parents, because you want to
I don't know. It's like we're at this age now
where our parents are getting older.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
And I Kate, my sister, I'm just like it's like,
oh my god, my mom. I'm like, Kate, don't yeah,
And she's like I know, but like huh, I'm like,
I know, but don't. We don't need to fucking go
there right now.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
It's truthfully, like yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
It's we don't need to do it, but it's.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Like this weird thing and then you want to sort
of like help and say like, hey, you think you
should do this? I mean, my dad doesn't listen to
me about like anything regarding work. Only Max. I'll be like,
I think you should do that movie and he's like,
I'm going to talk to Max, like okay, but yeah,
(36:02):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
It's the guys that real, Like is that actually true?
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah? Max right now is like, you know, crushing it
right now, he's crushing it. He's working his fucking ass off.
I mean he works seven days a week. You know,
he just had a baby, he had a second baby,
and you know he was back at work.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Does that I know you're sort of being funny, but
do you care? I mean, does that hurt in any way?
Where I don't.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Care at all? And I honestly, I mean I'm so
close to my parents and my brothers and I all
have like really special relationships in different relationships, so like
it's not that doesn't also that that's like not what
I'm good at. Like my favorite movie is Can't Buy
Me Love? Like I'm not, you know, like I'm not like, by.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
The way, yeah, incredible.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Fast movie ever, But I'm saying so like I don't
like go to the movies. That's not like if I
get to go out, like when Rob and I go out,
I want to go out to dinner or like a party.
I don't want to go to a movie, Like I
don't want to like sit in a room and like
not talk and not drink.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, like no, thanks, you know, I
get it. I get so.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
No, it doesn't bother me. I mean I Max is
the only one that really went into competition.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
You have competition. You don't have any competition with your siblings.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
And oh I do have competition with my sibling. But
about being the favorite, not about like work, do.
Speaker 2 (37:29):
You really I mean kind of favorite?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Max?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
Like for sure, both.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I think, well, now I might be a.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Man dad like they both Max is the favorite.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Well I handle everything. I handle everything like I handle
like I do. They call me for everything. It's like
family dinner. Is this that organizing? I organize our family trips? Yeah,
with the travel agent. But like I am the one
that's like you know, so I know we have like
different roles, but Max is just easier. Which is like
(38:02):
the last two episodes I did or that before that
was like all about this. My dad actually came on
and with Max and we were talking about how like
he's just an easier child in some ways, he's like
less needy. But as an adult, I don't feel that way.
As an adult, I feel like we're all jed Me, Max,
(38:24):
We're all sort of just like we all have like really,
we're so lucky. We have special relationships with all of
each of our parents, and it's like a you know,
(38:44):
do you feel like there's a favorite in your family?
Speaker 2 (38:46):
Oh? Me? I mean my mom, I'm her favorite, like
there's no doubt about it.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, that is so funny.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
No, I mean I think there's a special play for
the first born. Yeah, I'm not saying that overall, like
firstborn is the favorite because the firstborn can be a
fucking crazy person. But there's a special place because this
is where as a parent, you cut your teeth, you
know what I mean. Rio had it so so much
(39:20):
better honestly than I. When you're when you're a first
time parent and you're like, Okay, I don't know what
the fuck to do, and I think I'm going to
sleep train you, and I know you're starving, but the
book says don't fucking feed, So I'm gonna let you
want your fucking eyes.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Out in there it's so psychotic.
Speaker 2 (39:38):
Put them on the tit and like let's go. But
we're like no, no, no, you know. And even as
a teenager too, even as they get older and go
through their phases. As a parent, not just infant stuff,
you are cutting your teeth because you are learning from
your first born on how to do it for your
other kids.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
And they're all so different. So it's like you're learning
this one kid and then you're gonna have another kid.
Speaker 2 (40:03):
Yeah, who who? Yeah, So you're so right. I mean,
I had a conversation with Wilder once when we were
going through it, and I think it was a school
situation or something, and I was angry, and I might
have said something, you know, that was wrong, or I
accused him of something that wasn't right, or I forget
what it was, but I basically said, look, you know,
(40:23):
you're growing up and you're learning who you are and
how to sort of navigate this new kind of teenage
world and you know, executive functioning and all this shit.
I said, I'm learning too, so I'm going to fuck up.
You're going to fuck them, and by the way, I'm
going to fuck up too, you know, And I think
we have to give each other sort of some grace stuff.
(40:45):
I will always go to my kids and apologize if
you know what, my bad. I shouldn't have yelled, I
shouldn't have done that. I went over the I went
over the line, I didn't know the facts. Whatever, my bad.
You know, I think it's important, you know, honestly, as
a parent, to forgive yourself sometimes for maybe trying and
(41:07):
failing because.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
We I mean all day. Yeah, yeah, I'm nervous about
the teen. I mean, Ace is about to be thirteen.
I actually called Kate the other day because I was like,
you have older kids, like help me, Like I I'm
and I remember when our kids were going into middle school.
She was like, buckle up, babe. She was like, this
is gonna fucking rip you apart. And it's true.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
Yeah, it's hard, and.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
It's hard to like know when I'm definitely like the
stricter of all the parents of like his crew, the
four of them, And you know, I don't really allow
play dates or hangs. I guess they'm not called plaates
anywhere like hangs during the week, and He'll always be
like I'm the only one, and I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Know what to tell you, like, why don't you allow hangs?
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Well, first of all, because it's a we have a
lot going on during the week, and I just feel
like he needs to be home and like doing his work,
and like the weekday he can do his thing on
the weekends, but the weekdays are for school. And but
at our school, the kids don't have any fucking homework,
so like, I know, so I'm.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Like, what do I do, Like I'm for contact Zoe.
Alsoe's kids and all my kids go all go to
the same school, different grades, but all the same school.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
And Oliver went there, and my husband went there, and
my brother went there. It's like, you know, and it's
great school, but I wouldn't say it's the homework is not,
you know. So I'm literally like, so the kid comes.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Home, especially Wilder, like wild like he's in eleventh grade,
like his pivotal year, and I'm like, yo, you got homework.
He's like, no, what do you mean? No, everyone has homework.
He's like I know, And then I can look because
you can go online and sort of you know, and
he's like, man, and there's no school. He's like sleeping
in till eleven. I'm like, you this three period. What
(43:01):
and then he's like he goes to school for like
forty eight minutes and he's backing. Yeah, another brief period.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on? What am
I paying?
Speaker 1 (43:10):
I know, I know, but I so I guess maybe
I have to talk to Rob. Rob is like way
stricter than I am, believe it or not. Very Oh
my god. He is like there and my kids don't
have social media. He doesn't have social media yet, and
I feel like he should get it. He's in seventh grade, Like,
I feel like he should get it, you know, with
(43:31):
the restrictions if he gets good grades in January. And so,
I don't know, we have to figure it out.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Yeah, I mean, you know, I have I don't know,
as you know, sort of the way that I do things,
it's very kind of liberal as far as parenting goes.
I'm like, oh, I fucking go uh, you know, go
on your motorcycle. Be safe, be fucking smart. That's what
I say whenever my kids leave the house, and like,
be safe, be smart, be smart, be safe. You know.
(44:00):
It's like just have that in the back of your mind.
At the same time, I think the kids need this freedom,
they need to have that independence. They need to get
into trouble. They need to sort of feel what it's
like to pull themselves out of a situation that their
parents aren't going to aren't going to help with, right,
So I let them sort of go social media. You know.
(44:20):
It's like, look, I can't we can't avoid it, you
know what I'm saying. It is part of our the
fabric of our culture right now. Do I love that
they're scrolling through TikTok? You know, no, right, but it
is what it is, and I just try to create
a balance. Like you know, Wilder does jiu jitsu twice
a week. You know, he's an he was an acting
he's an acting class. Like, okay, do that ship and
(44:41):
then you can, you know, you know, be a part
of what this this tech world is, which is just normal,
you know. And for me, I think that the more
that you give it to them, the less they crave it.
I totally agree you hold it back sometimes, like I it's.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
A forbidden fruit. It's like I feel that way with
like sweets, with like everything. It's like if you then
you're gonna have like a kid like eating in your
closet or something.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
My sister like she did not give rider who's now
twenty one years old, But it was like no, I mean,
she was very strict about sugar and this, this and that,
and he would confide in me as a little kid.
He would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night,
right and shake it whatever shit he could and put
it like under his mattress and his pillows and stuff. Right,
(45:32):
it's like I need it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (45:34):
Right, Right, It's hard. It's hard to like know because
you and I are different in that way. Like I
would be like riding a bike next to him on
the motorcycle, like stay safe, but like it's just it's
very hard for me. So it's like it's I'm learning
and I'm learning as I go.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
With Aaron, She's it's not easy for her. Yeah, but
Aaron took selects. Aaron's on selecsa that like she seems
like even person, but she had that real anxiety, like
real anxiety, and she was she was always like sort
of catastrophizing, you know what, I do that all the time. Yeah,
(46:11):
And it got so prominent and the visuals were so
real that I mean that she had to take on
is on SELECTSA to sort of curb those thoughts, because yeah.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
There, intrusive thoughts are real, and they feel at the
time like it's like I'll talk to people and they'll
be like, well, has that ever happened, And it's like, no, motherfucker,
it's never happened, but it's going to this time, you know,
because it feels like in that moment, like there's nothing
you can do and it just it's like it's so
I'm always so envious of people who just like don't
(46:45):
have that gene or that back because it's like I
don't even know what that would feel like to just
sort of like simply just be like we're good, everything's good.
It's a warning amazing, you know, Like I.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
Just I don't well, it doesn't help that we are
inundated with you know, just fear based yeah, content. Yeah,
I especially like you know, with social media and your algorithm.
The minute you click on you know, you know your
son is kidnapped and raped and you're like, oh yeah,
and then when you're fed all of that shit and
(47:22):
now that its perpetuates your brain and you're just like,
oh my god, that's gonna happen to ace. Yeah, leaving
the house. You know, you're just watching videos of kids
and hearing reading articles like the kid dies on an
e bite and you're just like, oh my god, you're
never on writing an eb that's true.
Speaker 1 (47:39):
Actually that did happen, and I and I and I
that's why the child now wears a full But I mean,
how can like some of these things, like how can
they be good? Like we're giving our twelve year old
boys motorcycles? Like that's crazy?
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Yeah, I mean is it? Though?
Speaker 1 (47:57):
I mean kind of, But I mean your kids, you know,
spends so much time in Colorado outdoors like you you know,
it's just totally different. You know, my kids are like.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Totally and I'm not I'm not saying, you know, be
reckless with it, but no, I know I was in
I was in New Jersey working. This is like last month,
and Aaron calls me and she goes, so body wants
to go on a ride out. I'm like, okay, I'm like,
what's a ride out?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (48:26):
She texts me this YouTube video of a ride out
where all of these kids meet up at a location.
When I say all, I mean like fifty to one hundred,
like seventy kids.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
On like strangers yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Posted on social media or the rideout is happening here
and there's like seventy of these fucking kids on their
e motorcycles or surans and so you know, like but
bing has all this stuff, and Aaron's like, I'm going
to take him. I'm like what she put my put
his bike in my truck and took him to this
ride out that already in Culver City. And he went
(49:04):
from Culver City all the way to Marina del Rey
into Santa Monica, up through Brentwood blah blah blah in
the middle of the fucking street. I have videos of
my son like wheeling down like Venice Boulevard.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Bless you, I mean me.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
I was like, what is going on is highly illegal?
Like you saw you're fourteen in the street with a
pack of kids in traffic, meaning like you're on a sidewalk.
They'd taken over the road. And I was like, all right,
did you have fun? He goes that was amazing. I
was like, great, because that's the last time you fucking
(49:45):
do that.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
But you let him.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
I did because you know, I'm like that experience, you know,
that sort of feeling that he had and trusting him
even though honestly, probably was not the best choice for me,
even as a parent who is pretty lenient with that stuff.
Probably not the best choice because I know it's illegal.
(50:09):
He shouldn't even be on that bike in the street
right now. But at the same time, like you know,
have have a moment, you know, have an experience.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Live your life, live your life. I do most do
you think that most of these parents that are like
your kids friends parents, they are kind of like on
the same page as you.
Speaker 2 (50:29):
We're definitely the more the crazy or more lenient family,
like one hundred percent, you know for sure, you know,
I mean Sam is pretty lenient as well. I think like.
Speaker 1 (50:43):
Aaron, Sam is one of my best friends and one
of their best friends, who also is our.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Neighbor, like right there, but yeah, I think Aaron and
and our family has maybe rubbed off on them a
little bit. But their daughter Land and his best friends
with my son, and she's I mean, it's like an
open door policy. And their kids are in and out
(51:07):
of my house like all the time. And she comes
in last night and she's like panting, like what the
hell is going on? It's the day, it is still light,
and she was afraid that she was going to get
kidnapped from her house, which is like literally across the
street five printed here. And it's funny. I mean it's
it's like I was like what I was like, She goes,
(51:29):
I got a friend kidnapped. I'm like, you're oh my god,
and that's Mitch. That's not even Sam. Mitch is Sam's husband.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
It's actually me telling her, just kidding. For your life, Ollie,
I love you, Thank you for doing this.
Speaker 2 (51:45):
Of course, babe, anything for you.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
Are you going back to sleep?
Speaker 2 (51:49):
No, I have to wake up at five am and
drive to Colorado tomorrow, so.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
I have this crazy. This was crazy, This was amazing.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
It was really fast to what I've done, but it
was good for me because it got me my ass up.
I have infused some energy into my body and I'm
ready to start Agay
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Okay, good well, I love you, thank you, Bye bye
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