August 5, 2020 • 26 mins
New mom Amy Schumer opens up to Heidi about suffering with hyperemesis gravidarum during her pregnancy. What was it like to perform standup after puking night after night? Amy and Heidi also discuss maternal health issues in America, Amy’s first year of motherhood, and Amy turns the table to ask Heidi her biggest parenting questions.
Watch Expecting Amy streaming on HBO Max.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who baby, my baby. I need you, Oh how I
need you? What to expect? As a production of I
Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm a
mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
what to expect every step of the way. My guest
(00:26):
today is one funny mother. From her hit comedy specials
to her blockbuster movies train Wreck and I Feel Pretty,
Amy Schumer has made it her mission to keep us
all laughing. Let's just say mission accomplished. And now Amy
has taken on a new role alongside her husband Chris,
(00:47):
as mom to their ridiculously adorable little boy, Jean. She's
documented her amazing journey to motherhood in a brand new
docuseries on HBO Max called X Acting Amy. That I
have to say was everything I expected. Funny, profound, inspiring,
(01:08):
and oh so real, just like Amy, Amy, thanks for
joining us. Congrats first of all on baby Jean, who's
not really technically a baby anymore because he just turned one.
How are you dealing with that? Yeah, he's he's just
about um, fourteen months now. It's but but thank you.
I appreciate the congratulations. He's probably got lots of new tricks,
(01:31):
right well, he's been walking since he was ten months. Oh,
I know, he like wants asta out the door and
get his own apartment. And yeah, I mean he just
you know, he's he's just saying a couple words and
but every day it's like the it's the best. Everybody.
Everybody tells you he keeps getting better. So it does.
(01:55):
But you know, I always say, stop and smell the babies,
because they like they grow up in a blank. Don't
you feel he was just born. That's the only thing
that the coronavirus has been good for is just getting
to spend all this time with him has just been
so amazing. You'll probably hear him screaming, Oh, I hope
so I was running around. Does he has he had
(02:17):
tantums yet? No? I mean, you know, if we take
something like he wants to put everything in his mouth,
if we take something out of his mouth, he you know,
he doesn't like throw himself on the floor or anything
like I think I did. So I want to ask,
did you always want to be a mother? Was that
something you always had in your plans? No? No, I
(02:38):
I think I was pretty sure I was not. Never
was interested in being a mom. I just never thought
about it. It just wasn't part of my you know,
my dreams or my future. I never thought about getting
married either. You know when I met my husband, I
wanted to have kids with him. That's what it was about. Yeah.
(03:01):
Did he always want to be a dad? Yeah he did.
He always knew he wanted kids. I always say that,
you know, without a sense of humor. Parents are are
totally screwed. So you have one. Do you think that
it's sort of helped you stay sane? Oh my god, yeah,
it's the only thing that helped me stay sane. We
(03:21):
just laugh at ourselves because I mean we fail so
hard all the time, you know, like we just and
the first time we gave him a bath, it was
like we just it went so bad, you know, we
just when it was over and he was finally in bed,
like we just we were just laughing, like just covered
in water and laughing because it's like wow. But I mean,
(03:45):
like anything else, you have to do something a lot
to get good at it, you know, so you're not
going to be amazing and everything right away, and you
have to forgive yourself to that totally. And you know
it's funny because they give you training for almost any
other job. And then parenting, they just you know, let
you go home from the hospital with a baby and
expect you to know exactly what to do. Yeah, it really,
(04:07):
I mean it's just shocking how much you just realize that.
I mean for me, I was like, oh my god,
I don't know anything. It was like, oh my god,
all these things I hadn't thought of, you know, and
you just feel like such a failure. But it's just
you know, part of it you learn in the trenches, right, Yeah,
And I and I feel lucky, you know, you rely
(04:28):
on your your girlfriends, and and now there's videos, there's you. Um,
but man, it is it's tough, it totally is. Now
you decided to document the entire journey on on camera, right,
what made you want to make those private moments public?
(04:52):
You know, I've always been an overshare, um like and
and comfortable with nudity, like just in way where you
know it just I always have been an overshare. And
so what I've realized is, you know, in my comedy,
it's it's made people laugh and feel better. All I
ever want to do is make people laugh and feel better.
(05:14):
And unless alone, you know, thank you, and so Um,
I don't like, I just we filmed it. We filmed it.
We just I filmed that day at the zoo. I
just said, like, you know, maybe we'll document it and
then we we just did with our cell phones or whatever.
And and we didn't really have a plan, you know,
and I said, you know, maybe we won't ever use
(05:36):
any of this, or maybe we'll edit it and then
we'll just have a really cool home video to show him.
One day we wound up. Um, I wound up meeting
this amazing editor and director Alexander Hammer, who had worked
with Beyonce a lot, like he did Homecoming and just
all these videos. Um, you know, worked with every artist,
(05:58):
and he was down to come on board. And once
he started shaping it, I was like, Okay, wow, this
is real. This is like really becoming a doc a documentary,
you know, like a docuseries. So um yeah, I think
its just having no pressure about it, Like there was
no money. No, you know, we weren't like we didn't
know we were even making a documentary. We just we
(06:18):
were just like, let's film everything and see what happens.
And of course you had no idea of the plot
twists that was about to happen. You didn't know you're
going to have hyper emesis. No, I mean, I feel
so bad for myself. Like when I see that, I'm like,
I was kind of excited the first morning I was
throwing up. I think it was four or five weeks pregnant,
and I was just like, oh, you know, because you
(06:39):
always see it in movies and everything, and I didn't
know that it was going to be that way for
you know, nine months and you were kind of like
celebrating it because like when I was pregnant the first time,
I didn't have any morning sickness, so I thought something's
got to be wrong, right, so you can get some
reassurance out of having the morning sickness, but then more real,
(07:00):
you know, and um, it just made me feel it
just feels like one of those because like because like
you know, movies and TV shows for so long are
mostly you know, written by written by white men. Oh yeah,
you don't really get the female experience. And so one
of the jokes in my act was that, like, you know,
(07:22):
you see a woman throw up once and then she's
like in overalls painting a barn. It's just like a montage,
you know, but it really is I mean other than
other than um, your work. Really there's like it's not
out there, you know, like a couple of people have
documented their pregnancies. Um. Yeah, and it wasn't sure it's
gonna happen, and there are lots of twists, so we
(07:43):
didn't know we're gonna happen. So did you have any
(08:06):
cravings or versions? I had only a version first, you know,
you know, I really craved like just the comfort food
from when I was growing up because I felt so sick,
so I wanted the food my mom made me when
I was sick, which was like Campbell's chicken noodle soup
and a grilled cheese or you know, but really I
kept nothing down right. How many times were your hospitalized? Um?
(08:32):
I think I went to the hospital like a dozen times.
I was lucky enough that people I could have a
nurse come give me an I V because of my privilege.
But yeah, hospitalized like probably ten to fifteen times. And yeah,
and like very felt very lucky to be there. And
just because you know, what I learned about hyperremesis is
(08:56):
that um, one in three babies don't make it because
the moms aren't getting the nutrition that they need or
the hydration they need. So, you know, I just the
whole time, I just kept thinking about what are other
people doing? You know, I'm I have I'm I have
means I can do this and I can miss work
and you know, so I just had no idea. But
(09:19):
there's a whole Hypoomesis foundation with Dr Kimbert. That's just
amazing that I felt like, you know, I didn't. I
felt like I wasn't alone with that community. Yeah, no,
it's it, But I for I imagine a lot of
moms don't realize that they have it, and if they're
not getting regular medical care, I think, and there hesitant
because there's not much research on it because they don't
(09:41):
research women's health very much. No, no, they do not know.
Our maternal mortality right in this country is completely out
of control. And if you're a woman of color, it's
four times more and if you're a woman of color
in New York City or twelve times more likely to
to die during childbirth for no reason for a mistake
(10:04):
that they made. Well, and also because moms aren't listened
to no, I mean especially not especially not you know
indigenous or black moms. Nope, and you know, just make
you know, getting them to a point where they're empowered
to ask questions is great, but then the doctors actually
have to listen and take their concerns seriously. Yeah, they
(10:24):
need they I mean, they need real training on this
because it's such a clear flaw. I mean I have
friends who have just had horrible experiences, you know, when
when they've been hospitalized or their child was sick, and
black women, they were just not listened to. You know,
(10:44):
I hear that all the time. You know, lots of
mom's with um with h G end up with pregnancy
postpartum depression because even postpartum PTSD, because it's so debilitating,
it's so traumatic. Did you experience that. No, I was
like really ready to experience that. I almost like shake
(11:06):
you just like kind of figure that into my birth plan.
Was like, and then I'll be really depressed. But I
for me, like I was so sick and then and
this instant, the baby is out of you. It's gone,
It's completely gone, the nausea, all of it is gone.
And so I was like it was you know, New
(11:30):
Year's and my birthday, and you know, it was like
it was the greatest day of my life just having gean.
But on top of that, this this sickness that had
been in me for for nine months was just gone.
And so I was the happiest person. You know. They're like, oh, as,
how's your c section? I had a C section? Like
how do is? How does that feel? I'm like, I don't.
(11:52):
I don't care at all. It's like I am not vomiting.
And I was so happy and I was eating and
you know, I was thrilled. Oh that's awesome. So you
didn't a lot of moms throw up after the surgery,
you didn't. I threw up during the surgery. Yeah, that's
actually not in the documentary. But I threw up. Um, Yeah,
(12:16):
I was. I was vomiting pretty badly the first like
twenty minutes of the surgery. So, I mean, it was
it was brutal. But I also want to say this
about not having postpartum is that I had a baby nurse.
You know, I have an assistant, So I think if
(12:37):
I didn't have those, you know, those luxuries, I am
sure I would be in that club. So it's it's
it's the hardest job and recovering plus taking care of
a baby. How could you not? How could you not
get depressed. I mean, it's so exciting and the baby
(12:59):
is magic cult but that kind of and you're healing
from a major surgery, you know, if you have a say,
it's just like no, it's I am. Yeah, I'm really
proud of my work with Every Mother Counts, with Christie
Turlington's foundations, they help women um a childbirth and making
sure that there's a medical representative there they don't have
(13:21):
the means, you know, and and adula like I had.
I just I had such a great dula even though
it was c sections. She's stuck with me, you know,
And I can't stress enough how great having a duela was.
And that's why, well every mom should be able to
have a DULA and they should be covered by insurance,
but especially black moms. Yeah, to have that someone advocating
(13:45):
for you. There's nothing I learned that has stuck with
me more than that. And you know, I'm I'm doing
everything I can to you know, not like I can
change that, but I'm trying my very best. That's it's awesome.
So pretty much every mom has to work through pregnancy,
(14:05):
even you know, even if they're sick, but they don't
have to do that in front of a live audience
and you did you know, how did you stay motivated? Money? No,
I'm just kidding. I I just like it's such a
you know, first of all, it's like it doesn't matter
the size of the audience. It's like those people were
(14:26):
planning on seeing you. It's a really big deal to
me that to buy tickets to a show, Like if
I'm buying tickets to a live show, that's like a
night out. It's just a big deal. So I just
really wanted to show up to be there, you know,
and then to and to put on a show. I
just I felt really bad because some people drive, you know,
they don't live. If I'm doing if I'm in Atlanta,
they're dry, you know. It's like, so I really tried
(14:48):
to do to be there. Um, if I could physically
be there, if I wasn't in the hospital. But but
it was really hard. I never threw up on stage.
The adrenaline or whatever it was like, I was able
to get through it. That's incredible. I know. It was
just a nice distraction for for an hour a night,
you know, So that maybe that's the secret Moms withhold
(15:10):
up and just everything, do you stand up Okay, I'll
put out maybe I'll put that in the book, please.
I mean I would be throwing up, Like I would
be throwing up and throwing up up to the point
I was getting off stage, you know. Yeah, congrats on that,
like incredible. So um, how much does does Chris love
(15:32):
being a dad? Oh? God, he's so crazy about Gean.
He is, Like they're so cute. I mean it's such
a different and special bond. Yeah, it's been really cool.
I'm actually looking at them right now. They're outside. What
are they doing there? Well, it's too it's too charming.
(15:53):
It's like annoying. There Chris is making a garden for
Gene and so he's having him help him. Yes, I
know it's too much. It's too much. I can't. I
can't handle it. Is he is he a mama's boy
or daddy's boy or kind of an equal opportunity. I
mean he's he's totally both. Like he's we uh, we're
(16:19):
really lucky in that way. But every night, like before
he goes to bed, we just all hang out in
our bed together and read books and like you know,
go under the covers and listen to music and it's
just the you know, the most special time of my life,
I know. And now you wanted to go again, right
(16:40):
you have have another baby, a baby or two or
three or Baker's doesn't. Well, I'm just like, I'm never
going to be pregnant again. I also have really bad
endometriosis and the denomiosis. Uh. And so that's I mean,
you know I could I could have a baby again physically, um,
(17:02):
but it might kill me. That's not recommend now. And
you know just the stats that one in three babies,
you know, and it's like you're gonna have hypermsis again.
It's like, you know, basically a nine chance I'll have
it again. And you know, I we got some embryo,
some embryos and um, I went through IVF and and
we got one normal one and to mosaic. So where
(17:28):
you know, I think we're thinking seriously about taking the
surrogacy route. Um, but you know, just COVID kind of
put everything on hold. But of course we do want more.
I hope that's in the cards for us. Well, you know,
I always say motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood. So what
what would you tell your mom's sisters who are struggling
(17:49):
to get pregnant struggling with infertility. Oh my god, I
just think they're warriors. I just think it's the hardest
thing and this thing you're just women are just supposed
to be tough and just suck it up and not
complain and and men will never understand what going through
IVF is like. And um and for these women, I
(18:13):
just I just want them to know that I know
how hard is and I know how strong they are,
and I just think, especially women go through it multiple times,
like you know, it's just oh god, and you know,
everyone telling you it'll be worth it and whatever, it's
like it's true, but it's still so fucking hard. And
(18:33):
just you know, there's nothing, There's nothing else I can
say except I just think, you know, when I hear
a woman's gone through IVF or gone through IVF, you
know many times, I just I just think she's like
the strongest person. So I mean, I know you're an
(19:06):
open book, so might as well ask how's the new
parents sex going? Um? Well, you know, it's like they say,
like you can't have sex for like six weeks, you know,
and I was like hoping it was going to be
longer than that, because like they just like sliced my
(19:26):
foba open. I'm not like dying to you know, get
pounded from behind, Thank you very much. So I just
like it was very down to wait the six weeks
and then and then it was nice. It was like
maybe six months it was I know, I'm like, I
think we said six months. Um, you know, but it
was sweet, like you know once, um, once we can
(19:49):
have sex again. It was it was nice. And we're
really good about having sex once a week. What we did, yeah,
like we just we just keep it going because you
have to otherwise as you're just like roommates. And then
it's like weird that you're having sex, Yeah, exactly, And
and if you don't put on calendar then you can
get really lazy about it. Right now, we make it
(20:10):
feel we got up sex tomorrow or Tuesday, like that'll
be a good day. And then we and then we
do it and we go, that's great, we should do
that more. But we still just do it once a week.
So don't know, it's that's plenty. That's plenty good for
you because it fun some time. So, um, I hear
that you have a question for me, because I hope
(20:33):
to turn the tables here. Yeah, I do have a
question for you. So, Gean, you know, he was on
Holly formula, you know that, like, um, and so now
he's he's he's gonna be fourteen months in like a week,
and uh, and we've been like we're we're giving him
(20:54):
right now. I would say probably like ten to twelve
ounces of milk, you know total a day. Is that appropriate?
Because I have some friends that are making me feel
like that he should have he should be having no
milk right now, and that seems like crazy to me
for him, but you know, I want to do what's
best for him obviously, So what do you think? So,
so he's on whole milk now or is he still
(21:17):
on the form he's on the Holly you know, it's
like they graduate, there's like the different levels of Hollywood.
So you can switch to whole milk. In fact, you
don't need to keep doing the formula. The whole milk
is fine and in fact, um it's recommended the toddler's
kid well two cups a day, so like sixteen ounces,
(21:37):
but you can do the equivalent. I don't does he
eat cheese or homeolk? Yeah? Oh, because you just do
an equivalent. So as long as he's getting the equivalence calcium. Yeah,
it's a total sixteen, So total sixteen of milk or
two cups of whole milk yogurt, or like a quarter
(21:57):
um cup of cheese and serving. So it's all basically equivalent.
But the whole milk is important because they need the
extra fat. So plant milk, a lot of moms start
thinking about plant based milk, and that's not a good idea.
They need the fat in the protein. Is he a
good little solid eater? Is he a gourmet because Chris
(22:19):
is a chef, He's he's a good little slid eater.
I mean, it really is, like, you know, you have
to like to come up with some way for him
to open his mouth and eat some bites. But if
he likes something, he'll he'll just go to town on it.
And he likes to take food out of my mouth,
so if and put it in his mouth, So I'll
put like a chicken nugget like in my mouth and
(22:42):
and he'll like pull it out with his fingers and
put it in his mouth. It's funny, mine, mine, that's
actually good psychology. So he is the adventurous Is he
like a mac and Cheese guy or mac lobster mac
and cheese guy. Oh yeah, no, he's I mean his
dad's a chef. You know. It's like he eats pretty well.
His food always looks so good to me. I always
(23:05):
like whatever he doesn't eat, I'm always eating leftovers. Chris
just had these purees with all these vegetables going early,
so he's pretty good. But he does love bread. That's
another question. Like he wants like a slice of bread
with with lunch and with dinner, just like you know,
(23:26):
I mean, I guess he probably eats about half of it,
but I'll put the cream cheese on it or butter
or something so we get some fat. But so it's
whole grandbread. That's amost Ezekiel. Yeah, that's okay good. Yeah, absolutely,
I don't know what I would have done if I
said no, because he really wants it. No, I wouldn't
(23:47):
do that. I wouldn't do that. You know. There's I mean,
really bread and whole Grand solves are really super important
for a growing toddler. Yeah, and you're I I really
just loved your videos. I mean I look forward to them.
They're like they're such they're so important, like they were
so important to me every week, and I would like
wait to watch them whatever. And you know, I do
(24:08):
think they're funny because sometimes you say things that sounds
so terrifying in like the sweetest way, which is like
something I like to do in my stand up, you know,
so you know you'd be like your little monster is
clawing at your insides. But some things like sounded so
(24:30):
scary to me, like you're just like so scared all
you're pregnant, like what this is? So I just you know,
it really made me laugh. I was really trying to
calm you down, so you're trying to talk to you.
It was nice, It was it was completely nice. I
mean I watched every single one of them. So I'm
so glad. Thank you, Thank you so much for being
(24:51):
here and hanging out. Well, hopefully one day I get
some in person hugs because I'm right now I'm super
hug starved. I know, I know me too. It's really sad,
but I do have a baby that I can do.
Oh you lucky, you know I am luck lucky that
right now did Oh my god. Okay, Well, thank you
(25:12):
so much, take care you too. Bye. You can check
out Expecting Amy on HBO Max Streaming Now. I gotta
say it was so real, so raw, and I absolutely
loved it. Who Baby Love, My baby Love. I need you,
(25:36):
Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening. Remember I'm
always here for you. What to Expect is always here
for you. We're all in this together. For more on
what you heard on today's episode, visit what to Expect
dot com slash podcast. You can also check out What
to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect the First Year,
(25:58):
and the What to Expect app. And we want to
hear from you. Connect with us on our community message
board or on our social media. You can find me
at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma bing wt E
and of course at What to Expect. Baby Love is
performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect is a production
(26:22):
of I Heart Radio. From more shows from I Heart Radio,
check out the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows in my Arms,
what Don't You Stay? Leja Nja, Baby Baby
Who baby, my baby. I need you, Oh how I
need you? What to expect? As a production of I
Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm a
mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
what to expect every step of the way. My guest
(00:26):
today is one funny mother. From her hit comedy specials
to her blockbuster movies train Wreck and I Feel Pretty,
Amy Schumer has made it her mission to keep us
all laughing. Let's just say mission accomplished. And now Amy
has taken on a new role alongside her husband Chris,
(00:47):
as mom to their ridiculously adorable little boy, Jean. She's
documented her amazing journey to motherhood in a brand new
docuseries on HBO Max called X Acting Amy. That I
have to say was everything I expected. Funny, profound, inspiring,
(01:08):
and oh so real, just like Amy, Amy, thanks for
joining us. Congrats first of all on baby Jean, who's
not really technically a baby anymore because he just turned one.
How are you dealing with that? Yeah, he's he's just
about um, fourteen months now. It's but but thank you.
I appreciate the congratulations. He's probably got lots of new tricks,
(01:31):
right well, he's been walking since he was ten months. Oh,
I know, he like wants asta out the door and
get his own apartment. And yeah, I mean he just
you know, he's he's just saying a couple words and
but every day it's like the it's the best. Everybody.
Everybody tells you he keeps getting better. So it does.
(01:55):
But you know, I always say, stop and smell the babies,
because they like they grow up in a blank. Don't
you feel he was just born. That's the only thing
that the coronavirus has been good for is just getting
to spend all this time with him has just been
so amazing. You'll probably hear him screaming, Oh, I hope
so I was running around. Does he has he had
(02:17):
tantums yet? No? I mean, you know, if we take
something like he wants to put everything in his mouth,
if we take something out of his mouth, he you know,
he doesn't like throw himself on the floor or anything
like I think I did. So I want to ask,
did you always want to be a mother? Was that
something you always had in your plans? No? No, I
(02:38):
I think I was pretty sure I was not. Never
was interested in being a mom. I just never thought
about it. It just wasn't part of my you know,
my dreams or my future. I never thought about getting
married either. You know when I met my husband, I
wanted to have kids with him. That's what it was about. Yeah.
(03:01):
Did he always want to be a dad? Yeah he did.
He always knew he wanted kids. I always say that,
you know, without a sense of humor. Parents are are
totally screwed. So you have one. Do you think that
it's sort of helped you stay sane? Oh my god, yeah,
it's the only thing that helped me stay sane. We
(03:21):
just laugh at ourselves because I mean we fail so
hard all the time, you know, like we just and
the first time we gave him a bath, it was
like we just it went so bad, you know, we
just when it was over and he was finally in bed,
like we just we were just laughing, like just covered
in water and laughing because it's like wow. But I mean,
(03:45):
like anything else, you have to do something a lot
to get good at it, you know, so you're not
going to be amazing and everything right away, and you
have to forgive yourself to that totally. And you know
it's funny because they give you training for almost any
other job. And then parenting, they just you know, let
you go home from the hospital with a baby and
expect you to know exactly what to do. Yeah, it really,
(04:07):
I mean it's just shocking how much you just realize that.
I mean for me, I was like, oh my god,
I don't know anything. It was like, oh my god,
all these things I hadn't thought of, you know, and
you just feel like such a failure. But it's just
you know, part of it you learn in the trenches, right, Yeah,
And I and I feel lucky, you know, you rely
(04:28):
on your your girlfriends, and and now there's videos, there's you. Um,
but man, it is it's tough, it totally is. Now
you decided to document the entire journey on on camera, right,
what made you want to make those private moments public?
(04:52):
You know, I've always been an overshare, um like and
and comfortable with nudity, like just in way where you
know it just I always have been an overshare. And
so what I've realized is, you know, in my comedy,
it's it's made people laugh and feel better. All I
ever want to do is make people laugh and feel better.
(05:14):
And unless alone, you know, thank you, and so Um,
I don't like, I just we filmed it. We filmed it.
We just I filmed that day at the zoo. I
just said, like, you know, maybe we'll document it and
then we we just did with our cell phones or whatever.
And and we didn't really have a plan, you know,
and I said, you know, maybe we won't ever use
(05:36):
any of this, or maybe we'll edit it and then
we'll just have a really cool home video to show him.
One day we wound up. Um, I wound up meeting
this amazing editor and director Alexander Hammer, who had worked
with Beyonce a lot, like he did Homecoming and just
all these videos. Um, you know, worked with every artist,
(05:58):
and he was down to come on board. And once
he started shaping it, I was like, Okay, wow, this
is real. This is like really becoming a doc a documentary,
you know, like a docuseries. So um yeah, I think
its just having no pressure about it, Like there was
no money. No, you know, we weren't like we didn't
know we were even making a documentary. We just we
(06:18):
were just like, let's film everything and see what happens.
And of course you had no idea of the plot
twists that was about to happen. You didn't know you're
going to have hyper emesis. No, I mean, I feel
so bad for myself. Like when I see that, I'm like,
I was kind of excited the first morning I was
throwing up. I think it was four or five weeks pregnant,
and I was just like, oh, you know, because you
(06:39):
always see it in movies and everything, and I didn't
know that it was going to be that way for
you know, nine months and you were kind of like
celebrating it because like when I was pregnant the first time,
I didn't have any morning sickness, so I thought something's
got to be wrong, right, so you can get some
reassurance out of having the morning sickness, but then more real,
(07:00):
you know, and um, it just made me feel it
just feels like one of those because like because like
you know, movies and TV shows for so long are
mostly you know, written by written by white men. Oh yeah,
you don't really get the female experience. And so one
of the jokes in my act was that, like, you know,
(07:22):
you see a woman throw up once and then she's
like in overalls painting a barn. It's just like a montage,
you know, but it really is I mean other than
other than um, your work. Really there's like it's not
out there, you know, like a couple of people have
documented their pregnancies. Um. Yeah, and it wasn't sure it's
gonna happen, and there are lots of twists, so we
(07:43):
didn't know we're gonna happen. So did you have any
(08:06):
cravings or versions? I had only a version first, you know,
you know, I really craved like just the comfort food
from when I was growing up because I felt so sick,
so I wanted the food my mom made me when
I was sick, which was like Campbell's chicken noodle soup
and a grilled cheese or you know, but really I
kept nothing down right. How many times were your hospitalized? Um?
(08:32):
I think I went to the hospital like a dozen times.
I was lucky enough that people I could have a
nurse come give me an I V because of my privilege.
But yeah, hospitalized like probably ten to fifteen times. And yeah,
and like very felt very lucky to be there. And
just because you know, what I learned about hyperremesis is
(08:56):
that um, one in three babies don't make it because
the moms aren't getting the nutrition that they need or
the hydration they need. So, you know, I just the
whole time, I just kept thinking about what are other
people doing? You know, I'm I have I'm I have
means I can do this and I can miss work
and you know, so I just had no idea. But
(09:19):
there's a whole Hypoomesis foundation with Dr Kimbert. That's just
amazing that I felt like, you know, I didn't. I
felt like I wasn't alone with that community. Yeah, no,
it's it, But I for I imagine a lot of
moms don't realize that they have it, and if they're
not getting regular medical care, I think, and there hesitant
because there's not much research on it because they don't
(09:41):
research women's health very much. No, no, they do not know.
Our maternal mortality right in this country is completely out
of control. And if you're a woman of color, it's
four times more and if you're a woman of color
in New York City or twelve times more likely to
to die during childbirth for no reason for a mistake
(10:04):
that they made. Well, and also because moms aren't listened
to no, I mean especially not especially not you know
indigenous or black moms. Nope, and you know, just make
you know, getting them to a point where they're empowered
to ask questions is great, but then the doctors actually
have to listen and take their concerns seriously. Yeah, they
(10:24):
need they I mean, they need real training on this
because it's such a clear flaw. I mean I have
friends who have just had horrible experiences, you know, when
when they've been hospitalized or their child was sick, and
black women, they were just not listened to. You know,
(10:44):
I hear that all the time. You know, lots of
mom's with um with h G end up with pregnancy
postpartum depression because even postpartum PTSD, because it's so debilitating,
it's so traumatic. Did you experience that. No, I was
like really ready to experience that. I almost like shake
(11:06):
you just like kind of figure that into my birth plan.
Was like, and then I'll be really depressed. But I
for me, like I was so sick and then and
this instant, the baby is out of you. It's gone,
It's completely gone, the nausea, all of it is gone.
And so I was like it was you know, New
(11:30):
Year's and my birthday, and you know, it was like
it was the greatest day of my life just having gean.
But on top of that, this this sickness that had
been in me for for nine months was just gone.
And so I was the happiest person. You know. They're like, oh, as,
how's your c section? I had a C section? Like
how do is? How does that feel? I'm like, I don't.
(11:52):
I don't care at all. It's like I am not vomiting.
And I was so happy and I was eating and
you know, I was thrilled. Oh that's awesome. So you
didn't a lot of moms throw up after the surgery,
you didn't. I threw up during the surgery. Yeah, that's
actually not in the documentary. But I threw up. Um, Yeah,
(12:16):
I was. I was vomiting pretty badly the first like
twenty minutes of the surgery. So, I mean, it was
it was brutal. But I also want to say this
about not having postpartum is that I had a baby nurse.
You know, I have an assistant, So I think if
(12:37):
I didn't have those, you know, those luxuries, I am
sure I would be in that club. So it's it's
it's the hardest job and recovering plus taking care of
a baby. How could you not? How could you not
get depressed. I mean, it's so exciting and the baby
(12:59):
is magic cult but that kind of and you're healing
from a major surgery, you know, if you have a say,
it's just like no, it's I am. Yeah, I'm really
proud of my work with Every Mother Counts, with Christie
Turlington's foundations, they help women um a childbirth and making
sure that there's a medical representative there they don't have
(13:21):
the means, you know, and and adula like I had.
I just I had such a great dula even though
it was c sections. She's stuck with me, you know,
And I can't stress enough how great having a duela was.
And that's why, well every mom should be able to
have a DULA and they should be covered by insurance,
but especially black moms. Yeah, to have that someone advocating
(13:45):
for you. There's nothing I learned that has stuck with
me more than that. And you know, I'm I'm doing
everything I can to you know, not like I can
change that, but I'm trying my very best. That's it's awesome.
So pretty much every mom has to work through pregnancy,
(14:05):
even you know, even if they're sick, but they don't
have to do that in front of a live audience
and you did you know, how did you stay motivated? Money? No,
I'm just kidding. I I just like it's such a
you know, first of all, it's like it doesn't matter
the size of the audience. It's like those people were
(14:26):
planning on seeing you. It's a really big deal to
me that to buy tickets to a show, Like if
I'm buying tickets to a live show, that's like a
night out. It's just a big deal. So I just
really wanted to show up to be there, you know,
and then to and to put on a show. I
just I felt really bad because some people drive, you know,
they don't live. If I'm doing if I'm in Atlanta,
they're dry, you know. It's like, so I really tried
(14:48):
to do to be there. Um, if I could physically
be there, if I wasn't in the hospital. But but
it was really hard. I never threw up on stage.
The adrenaline or whatever it was like, I was able
to get through it. That's incredible. I know. It was
just a nice distraction for for an hour a night,
you know, So that maybe that's the secret Moms withhold
(15:10):
up and just everything, do you stand up Okay, I'll
put out maybe I'll put that in the book, please.
I mean I would be throwing up, Like I would
be throwing up and throwing up up to the point
I was getting off stage, you know. Yeah, congrats on that,
like incredible. So um, how much does does Chris love
(15:32):
being a dad? Oh? God, he's so crazy about Gean.
He is, Like they're so cute. I mean it's such
a different and special bond. Yeah, it's been really cool.
I'm actually looking at them right now. They're outside. What
are they doing there? Well, it's too it's too charming.
(15:53):
It's like annoying. There Chris is making a garden for
Gene and so he's having him help him. Yes, I
know it's too much. It's too much. I can't. I
can't handle it. Is he is he a mama's boy
or daddy's boy or kind of an equal opportunity. I
mean he's he's totally both. Like he's we uh, we're
(16:19):
really lucky in that way. But every night, like before
he goes to bed, we just all hang out in
our bed together and read books and like you know,
go under the covers and listen to music and it's
just the you know, the most special time of my life,
I know. And now you wanted to go again, right
(16:40):
you have have another baby, a baby or two or
three or Baker's doesn't. Well, I'm just like, I'm never
going to be pregnant again. I also have really bad
endometriosis and the denomiosis. Uh. And so that's I mean,
you know I could I could have a baby again physically, um,
(17:02):
but it might kill me. That's not recommend now. And
you know just the stats that one in three babies,
you know, and it's like you're gonna have hypermsis again.
It's like, you know, basically a nine chance I'll have
it again. And you know, I we got some embryo,
some embryos and um, I went through IVF and and
we got one normal one and to mosaic. So where
(17:28):
you know, I think we're thinking seriously about taking the
surrogacy route. Um, but you know, just COVID kind of
put everything on hold. But of course we do want more.
I hope that's in the cards for us. Well, you know,
I always say motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood. So what
what would you tell your mom's sisters who are struggling
(17:49):
to get pregnant struggling with infertility. Oh my god, I
just think they're warriors. I just think it's the hardest
thing and this thing you're just women are just supposed
to be tough and just suck it up and not
complain and and men will never understand what going through
IVF is like. And um and for these women, I
(18:13):
just I just want them to know that I know
how hard is and I know how strong they are,
and I just think, especially women go through it multiple times,
like you know, it's just oh god, and you know,
everyone telling you it'll be worth it and whatever, it's
like it's true, but it's still so fucking hard. And
(18:33):
just you know, there's nothing, There's nothing else I can
say except I just think, you know, when I hear
a woman's gone through IVF or gone through IVF, you
know many times, I just I just think she's like
the strongest person. So I mean, I know you're an
(19:06):
open book, so might as well ask how's the new
parents sex going? Um? Well, you know, it's like they say,
like you can't have sex for like six weeks, you know,
and I was like hoping it was going to be
longer than that, because like they just like sliced my
(19:26):
foba open. I'm not like dying to you know, get
pounded from behind, Thank you very much. So I just
like it was very down to wait the six weeks
and then and then it was nice. It was like
maybe six months it was I know, I'm like, I
think we said six months. Um, you know, but it
was sweet, like you know once, um, once we can
(19:49):
have sex again. It was it was nice. And we're
really good about having sex once a week. What we did, yeah,
like we just we just keep it going because you
have to otherwise as you're just like roommates. And then
it's like weird that you're having sex, Yeah, exactly, And
and if you don't put on calendar then you can
get really lazy about it. Right now, we make it
(20:10):
feel we got up sex tomorrow or Tuesday, like that'll
be a good day. And then we and then we
do it and we go, that's great, we should do
that more. But we still just do it once a week.
So don't know, it's that's plenty. That's plenty good for
you because it fun some time. So, um, I hear
that you have a question for me, because I hope
(20:33):
to turn the tables here. Yeah, I do have a
question for you. So, Gean, you know, he was on
Holly formula, you know that, like, um, and so now
he's he's he's gonna be fourteen months in like a week,
and uh, and we've been like we're we're giving him
(20:54):
right now. I would say probably like ten to twelve
ounces of milk, you know total a day. Is that appropriate?
Because I have some friends that are making me feel
like that he should have he should be having no
milk right now, and that seems like crazy to me
for him, but you know, I want to do what's
best for him obviously, So what do you think? So,
so he's on whole milk now or is he still
(21:17):
on the form he's on the Holly you know, it's
like they graduate, there's like the different levels of Hollywood.
So you can switch to whole milk. In fact, you
don't need to keep doing the formula. The whole milk
is fine and in fact, um it's recommended the toddler's
kid well two cups a day, so like sixteen ounces,
(21:37):
but you can do the equivalent. I don't does he
eat cheese or homeolk? Yeah? Oh, because you just do
an equivalent. So as long as he's getting the equivalence calcium. Yeah,
it's a total sixteen, So total sixteen of milk or
two cups of whole milk yogurt, or like a quarter
(21:57):
um cup of cheese and serving. So it's all basically equivalent.
But the whole milk is important because they need the
extra fat. So plant milk, a lot of moms start
thinking about plant based milk, and that's not a good idea.
They need the fat in the protein. Is he a
good little solid eater? Is he a gourmet because Chris
(22:19):
is a chef, He's he's a good little slid eater.
I mean, it really is, like, you know, you have
to like to come up with some way for him
to open his mouth and eat some bites. But if
he likes something, he'll he'll just go to town on it.
And he likes to take food out of my mouth,
so if and put it in his mouth, So I'll
put like a chicken nugget like in my mouth and
(22:42):
and he'll like pull it out with his fingers and
put it in his mouth. It's funny, mine, mine, that's
actually good psychology. So he is the adventurous Is he
like a mac and Cheese guy or mac lobster mac
and cheese guy. Oh yeah, no, he's I mean his
dad's a chef. You know. It's like he eats pretty well.
His food always looks so good to me. I always
(23:05):
like whatever he doesn't eat, I'm always eating leftovers. Chris
just had these purees with all these vegetables going early,
so he's pretty good. But he does love bread. That's
another question. Like he wants like a slice of bread
with with lunch and with dinner, just like you know,
(23:26):
I mean, I guess he probably eats about half of it,
but I'll put the cream cheese on it or butter
or something so we get some fat. But so it's
whole grandbread. That's amost Ezekiel. Yeah, that's okay good. Yeah, absolutely,
I don't know what I would have done if I
said no, because he really wants it. No, I wouldn't
(23:47):
do that. I wouldn't do that. You know. There's I mean,
really bread and whole Grand solves are really super important
for a growing toddler. Yeah, and you're I I really
just loved your videos. I mean I look forward to them.
They're like they're such they're so important, like they were
so important to me every week, and I would like
wait to watch them whatever. And you know, I do
(24:08):
think they're funny because sometimes you say things that sounds
so terrifying in like the sweetest way, which is like
something I like to do in my stand up, you know,
so you know you'd be like your little monster is
clawing at your insides. But some things like sounded so
(24:30):
scary to me, like you're just like so scared all
you're pregnant, like what this is? So I just you know,
it really made me laugh. I was really trying to
calm you down, so you're trying to talk to you.
It was nice, It was it was completely nice. I
mean I watched every single one of them. So I'm
so glad. Thank you, Thank you so much for being
(24:51):
here and hanging out. Well, hopefully one day I get
some in person hugs because I'm right now I'm super
hug starved. I know, I know me too. It's really sad,
but I do have a baby that I can do.
Oh you lucky, you know I am luck lucky that
right now did Oh my god. Okay, Well, thank you
(25:12):
so much, take care you too. Bye. You can check
out Expecting Amy on HBO Max Streaming Now. I gotta
say it was so real, so raw, and I absolutely
loved it. Who Baby Love, My baby Love. I need you,
(25:36):
Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening. Remember I'm
always here for you. What to Expect is always here
for you. We're all in this together. For more on
what you heard on today's episode, visit what to Expect
dot com slash podcast. You can also check out What
to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect the First Year,
(25:58):
and the What to Expect app. And we want to
hear from you. Connect with us on our community message
board or on our social media. You can find me
at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma bing wt E
and of course at What to Expect. Baby Love is
performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect is a production
(26:22):
of I Heart Radio. From more shows from I Heart Radio,
check out the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows in my Arms,
what Don't You Stay? Leja Nja, Baby Baby
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!