March 10, 2021 • 35 mins
Anna Victoria is a fitness trainer who has shared her pregnancy and parenting journey with millions. This week, she joins Heidi to talk openly about her journey to parenthood, which included infertility, IVF, and her unexpectedly difficult labor and delivery. She also reveals what it’s been like parenting her 6-month-old daughter, Aurora, during the pandemic, and what she wants every woman to know about exercise during and after pregnancy.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who baby, a baby love, I need you, Oh how
I need you? What to expect? As a production of
My Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm
a mom on a mission, a mission to help you
know what to expect every step of the way. If
(00:25):
there's one thing you can always expect here on what
to expect, it's that we are going to keep it real,
which is why I am so excited to welcome a
very special mom who has made her life an open
book on social media. Anna Victoria is a personal trainer
and fitness guru who has shared honestly with her millions
(00:47):
of followers, first about her journey to wellness, which led
to a wildly popular fitness app, and more recently about
her journey to motherhood, which included just a few detours,
a year of trying to conceive and ultimately I VF
and now Anna is a new mom to a six
month old baby girl, Aurora. So Anna, thank you so
(01:10):
much for being here today. First of all, congratulations and baby,
thank you? Who is beautiful? And those cheeks I know
I diet the cheeks. Thank you. Thank you so much
for having me Je's and what I'd like to call
the golden age of babyhood because it's all smiles, belly
(01:33):
laughs and joy and they're not crawling and getting into
stuff yet. Right, I'm definitely not prepared for that, Like
with the house stuff, babyproofing, that's a whole new world
we're about to get into. So I definitely am enjoying
her being stationary and just giggly right now. It's now,
(01:53):
how has it been being pregnant and giving birth during
a pandemic? You also move stay it's no biggie, yeah,
which was planned pre COVID. We planned to move from
l A to Austin, Texas to buy a house since
the market in l A is just you know, outrageous,
and yeah, so obviously as well, we did IVF and
(02:16):
we never knew when we were going to be pregnant,
and it just everything coincided with being pregnant, moving states,
and a pandemic. So it's been quite a right but
you know, honestly, I am an optimist. I am, and
I remember, you know, being pregnant mid pandemic. My husband's
families from Italy, and so they we always planned for
(02:39):
them to come. His mom was supposed to come stay
with us for three months for the birth, and we
quickly realized that wasn't going to be able to happen,
which was upsetting, but I was like, it's okay, we
got it, you know, like we're we're going to get through.
We can take care of it. Okay, that's when I
was pregnant right now. Once I had the baby and
those postpartum hormones came into play, you know, no amount
(03:01):
of optimism can you know, cover up the fact that
we missed out on sharing our daughter's first moments with
her grandparents and all of our family. She's the first
girl on his dad's side of the family fifty years.
Oh my goodness. So yeah, you know, it's been hard,
but still grateful for for our health and that's just
(03:23):
what we try to focus on absolutely, And we're going
to come back to your pregnancy, but first let's go
to something you've been very open about sharing, and that's
getting pregnant. And you were trying to conceive for about
a year to two years. So when did you first
make the move up to fertility clinic after the year mark,
(03:45):
so we started trying, um goodness, it was December two
and seventeen, and you know, I'm one of seven. My
mom had no trouble conceiving with any of us, and
I just thought like, oh, when I'm ready, you know,
like it's just gonna have in. And you know, six
months went fine. It was like it's not happening yet.
Did some research and I read, you know, it can
(04:07):
take six to twelve months for a normal healthy couple.
Month nine, it was like, okay, what is going on?
So uh then you know, wait until month twelve. And
that's when we were like, you know, we are ready now.
We don't want to wait for another three six months
and then still be in the same position. So we
went to At the time we lived in l A.
(04:29):
We went to Southern California Reproductive Center. They ran all
the tests, the blood work, couldn't find anything wrong with
either of us, so we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility.
I also am a personal trainer. I eight healthy. What
I kept hearing back, which was like so frustrating, was
like everything looks perfect, you know, and it's like, oh great, well,
(04:51):
then why is this not happening? In some ways, like
I don't ever want to say it's good to hear
that they're something wrong, but when you do, there's a
course of action. They know how to treat it and
how to proceed with unexplaining fertility. You're just, you know,
kind of at a loss. Entilog just magically happened, you know,
(05:12):
So immediately we did two i u e s back
to back, obviously unsuccessfully at that point. It actually it
took more of a toll on my husband. He's like
I said, he's Italian, He's very where's his heart on
his sleeve. I'm the one that I'm like, we'll get
through it. I'm going to power through. I can handle it.
But him still seeing the impact it had on me
(05:35):
and honestly the hormones how it impacted me let resolve
was like horrible for me. Um, he was like, you know,
let's take a break. We even went to Italy for
our anniversary that may because this at this point in time,
it was February March, and you know, every like everyone
said like, oh, just relaxed, just go travel and it's
gonna happen. Nope, still didn't happen. But we had a
(05:58):
good time. So we had a great time. And now
I'm like, oh, I'm so happy. We want on those
trips premb you know, fact we get it in while
you can. Yeah. So after after those trips, we decide, okay,
in the fall, if we didn't conceive, we would do
ib F, which is what we ended up doing. Uh
didn't agitarable September who two thousand nineteen, and then the
(06:21):
transferred November two thousand nineteen, which was successful. Oh that's
so wonderful and you got it on the first try. Yeah.
So yeah, the hormones and feeling like you were a
pin cushion, like always being stuck. That must have been
super hard and emotionally just as a couple. How did
it feel to keep trying and trying and trying. Was
(06:42):
it a strain on your relationship at all? Yeah, it
really really was. And he and I really are two
p's in a pod, like we were meant for each other,
you know, and we like don't fight very much, but
that time period, U like, it was a completely different
ballgame for us and put so much strain on us.
Like there were things that I said that I'm not
(07:03):
proud of and that I regretted saying to him, And
the hormones made you do it. Yeah, it's exactly. He
had so much grace with me. We're as great of
a couple as we are because of him, because he's
such as we are. But yeah, there were times that
you know it not only times then that at his
stress tests, but there are lasting impacts that we've noticed,
(07:24):
even after infertility, even at having a baby, that we
notice still have carried over, like the anxiety around intimacy.
When you're trying to make a baby, it's so robotic,
and you know that's not good for either of us
and it's hard to just you know, forget all of that.
And at the same time we wonder what is it
(07:46):
going to be like for baby number two and three?
You know, we always wanted three and four kids. You
know you also have a baby, and yes, and that
doesn't make it easy for sure. Yeah, absolutely, yes, Yeah,
there's baby must oil instead of like ky, why next
to the right right right? Yeah? So why is it
so important to you to be so open on social
(08:09):
media about the process. So I didn't know if I
would be like in that first year. I just hoped
to be like we're pregnant, you know, of course, like
everyone hopes to be able to do that, and more
so with my family on I'm the type that my
struggles don't define me or they don't overcome me, I
think that they empower me. And like that's kind of
(08:30):
always been my approach with my fitness journey. Like I'm
a personal trainer that's going to tell you I hate
working out, Like sometimes I love it, but the majority
of the time I don't want to do it. I
do it anyways because I feel so good afterwards, So
I do it. So I knew that if I was
going to share about the struggle, if I needed to,
I would be empowered by it because helping other women
(08:51):
people know that they're not alone, that just fills me up.
That's so awesome. Have you gotten lots of responses from
other women going through the same experien shockingly thousands every
day even now, two years, three years after you know,
the entire journey. Every day I received messages from women
(09:12):
that either just now discovered me apparently if you like,
look up I v F for agrigary. But a lot
of my stuff pops up, which is, you know, I
don't know how, but it's happening. And other women that
have been following me through the journey, they weren't in
that time period of their life at the time I was,
but now they are. It's really shocking, and how many
couples go through this it is, I mean, of course
(09:34):
the number is growing. I do want to know how
did you, um, did you feel guarded after you found
out who were pregnant. I'm such an open book that,
like I wanted to share. It's interesting publicly, but internally
I had so much anxiety about it because you're so
worried about what is going to happen, Like you hear
(09:55):
horrible stories of things happening, you know, when people say like, oh,
the same zone is for the first trimemester, It's not
like there's something can happen at any point. So I
had anxiety more about announcing it for that reason. Yeah, internally,
it was definitely a huge struggle first trimester and then
almost third trimester. Second trimester was like the glory you
(10:17):
know time period. Did you ever resent other moms who
got pregnant easily? I feel like saying resent is you know,
I mean it's a very valid feeling that some women have. Absolutely, yeah,
personally I didn't. It was it was absolutely like you know, gosh,
what's the right word out of devastation? You know. I
(10:38):
had a friend one time, tell me that she was pregnant,
and I cried not happy tears in front of her.
I tried to cover it up as like happy tears,
you know, um, which I was. There were happy tears,
but there were sad tears. And again, like I said,
I'm I'm I'm a happy, go lucky, optimistic type person
and I didn't expect to feel those feelings. But it's
so natural. How did you tell your family? Oh? So
(11:01):
I we did the transfer in November, November eighteen, so
Thanksgiving was a few days later, and it was a
five day embryo, so five days post transfer, it was
you know that at that point in time, I had
gotten a positive you know, ten days. So it was
Thanksgiving and I was like, should I do the butt
in the oven? We have Thanksgiving buns? But I was like, no,
(11:23):
there's two. I didn't want to tell everyone. I have
a big family and one of seven. Um, there's normally
thirty people at our Thanksgiving, and so I was like,
I'm just going to tell my sisters and my brother
that were there, and my mom and so to kind
of get them away from everyone, I brought them outside
out front to just take a picture, and Luca was
taking the picture and everyone was in the line and
(11:45):
I said three to one like smile, and I said,
I'm pregnant. And it was a video so so so
did everybody here it and understand it and comprehend? Oh? Yeah,
Like it was kind of like a split second of
like jaw drop and then like screaming. And it's funny
because everyone knew we were doing the agraitory bole, but
(12:05):
no one knew when we were doing the transfer and
I we wanted to keep that a secret, which was
hard to do, but we wanted to keep that a
secret because we didn't want eyeballs of like didn't work,
are you pregnant? So we told everyone to get them
off of our backs. We were like, we're doing it
after the holidays, okay, uh nay. Yeah, So pregnancy, after
(12:37):
all of that effort to get pregnant, did it seem like,
you know, relatively easy lift, so to speak. Yeah. I'm
one of those that loved being pregnant. Yeah, I just
thought it was beauty of the body changes. I think
we're beautiful. And I did have morning sickness the first trimester,
but not to the point of actually, you know, throwing up,
just like you know, being nauseous, and that was really it. Otherwise,
(13:00):
I had a great pregnancy. I worked out through my
entire pregnancy, but then came labor and delivery. So I
know you have a birth story to share. Um, I
mean every mom does. Yeah, how is it different than
what you expected? So there's two parts here that made
me think it would be much easier than it was.
First was my mom. You know, she always said, O,
(13:22):
dental pain is worse than childbirth, you know, which, like okay,
I know, right, and she's like, okay, not literally, but
it's a mental thing. You have to get into a
mental place. And my dad even told me like she
didn't even screen during labor, you know, like, so props
to her. That's not me, I discovered, And so I
I definitely had kind of a different idea of what
(13:44):
would be going in because of that. Then, Yes, because
I'm a personal trainer and so many women who have
done my programs and are in my community have said
to me, Anna, pre Fitness Journey pre FPG, I didn't
work out and my labor was horrible. I just had
a baby, and I've been working out with your app,
your programs, and it was a breeze comparatively. So I
(14:04):
always was like awesome, Like so many women are telling
me how much better it was after their fitness journey,
So like I should be able to handle this, you
would think, you would think, right. I ended up having
an unplanned C section after who what was it? Fifteen
hours of labor, three hours of pushing, and she got
(14:27):
stuck behind my pelvic phone. My hopes were that I
would have an unmedicated vaginal birth. My contractions came on
so quick. They said my water didn't break, but I
A I had a gush of water, you know. So
someone was like, you probably had a high leak. So
they couldn't something along those lines. Um, Because my contractions
(14:48):
came on quick, and they were very close together from
the beginning, and I didn't get any time to rest
in between contractions. It was two in the morning, I
hadn't slept, I hadn't eaten, went into labor, went to
the hospital, got there like three, and um, I started
throwing up. I couldn't keep anything down. I was nauseous,
(15:10):
and I was four centimeters dilated when I got there.
After all that, yeah, right, And so I was in
labor for seven hours and they checked me again and
I remember thinking in my head, if I'm not at
least seven centimeters dilated, I'm getting an epidural like already,
like not a part of my birth plan. But I
(15:32):
was like, if I'm not dilating, it's because my body
is under so much stress right now. I can't relax
because I'm not getting breaks in between my contractions. I
need help. Seven hours later, I was still four centimeters
when they told me that, I was just like, you're like,
I couldn't believe it, like for still at the same spot,
(15:54):
like at least five. So I said, give me the
epidural now, like in that time from when the antithesiologist
needs to prepare it and get to other you know, patients. First,
I was like screaming, like where are they? So I
got the epidural. I within an hour went to what
was it, six centimeters and so that's like it was
(16:16):
exactly what my body needed. I couldn't relax. And let
me tell you, that epidural was great. I went from like,
you know, being in constant pain for seven hours to
singing to Michael Boublet that was playing in the background
and between contractions. It was amazing. Yeah, there are a
lot of fans out there. Oh yes, oh yes. So
(16:40):
the problem was I have a high tolerance to anesthesia.
I have woken up under anesthesia before in the past,
and I didn't remember that. And so when the epidural
started wearing off, I was like, you guys, you guys,
I can feel this again, and they were like whoa,
Like what's going on. This happened three different times for
(17:03):
the next five hours. I kept getting the epidural. An
hour later it would wear off, and then thirty minutes
to scramble and get the anse asiologist back. So I
was going in and out of pain for the next
five hours. And then when it came time to push,
and that I was ten centimeters dilated. Pushed for three hours,
she got to the station zero and wasn't dropping, and
(17:26):
so they said, hey, you have one more hour to
push or you need to have a C section. I
went fifty minutes and they checked me in there like
she hasn't moved, and I was like, let's go, So
please tell me that the epidural lasted during the c section. Oh,
they topped me up and then some yes because I
told him, hey, hey, I'm about to have a c section,
(17:49):
Like please like load me up because this has been wearing,
you know, coming in and out. So they did. I
absolutely felt all the weird jerking and jiggling movements, but
no actual pain. Just to note, when they were doing
the C section, they actually had to make my decision
bigger because they said she was so stuck in there
they had a hard time getting her out. So like
(18:10):
that was confirmation of like, we made the right decision,
you know completely. But with you know, nearly a third
of moms at some point getting a C section, don't
you think it's important for them to prepare for that possibility,
even if it's not a scheduled See, yeah, you know
I took Bradley classes. That's what my mom did. Dr
(18:30):
Bradley was actually her first her obief with her first pregnancy.
Yeah that's good. And um I actually posted on my
Insto stories and his granddaughter follows me and replied was
like he's my grandpa that Yeah. So I took Bradley lessons.
We skipped over the C section part because I was like,
I don't need it, You're not gonna need it, yeah,
(18:51):
which was definitely not you know, the best decision on
my part. So lesson learned. But um, I do think
that it's just good to be educated about all the
different possibilities, you know, like even just from induction options
and yeah, and all the obviously all the stages of labor,
which my husband knows better than I do. Um, yeah,
(19:14):
you know you do. You do the best you can
in the moment, and you live in your learning exactly.
You never know exactly what to expect, right, No, two
labors and deliveries are the same, and your next one
maybe entirely different. Chances are will be right, you know,
I'm truly conflicted on what to do, to do a
(19:35):
v back, you know, to attempt to be back, or
just to do a scheduled C section, because I hear
that scheduled c sections are so much less traumatic and
even like physically traumatic than on planned or emergency ones,
especially obviously after labor. So well, you've been through a lot,
so let's cross that bridge from right, absolutely absolutely now
(20:00):
your recovery from a C section? Did that surprise you?
The most excruciating thing I've ever been through? I just
how do you say the like negative core strength, you know,
the complete absence of your core and a wound and
ginormous you know, wound and not being able to hold
(20:23):
your baby or to stand and hold your baby, and
all the awkward and painful positions that you need to
get into to try to breastfeed. Like it was so hard,
it's still hard. I'm six months postpartum and I still
am working on regaining my core strength and doing you know,
the same movements I used to. So, what's your advice
(20:45):
for moms who've just had a C section? Two? Great question. A.
You need help, whether it's a partner or a family member, Um,
you need someone to help you. Getting a belly binder
for me was so important, and I have to be honest,
I was kind of anti postpartum belly binders because being
(21:07):
a personal trainer, I'm very anti like detox t s
and waste trainers, you know, all these things that like,
you know, just waste people's money. You want to make
your muscles do the work instead of having them rely
on a binder exactly, and this is a belly binder.
Postpart was completely different, and I had to kind of
get over that, you know, that humph in my mind.
(21:30):
And I didn't use one for the first few days,
and when I realized, like gosh, I just need to
try this, and I was like, oh, this is so
much better. You don't want to use it for too long, because,
like you said, you do need your core to use itself,
you know, to start firing up at some point, but
definitely for the first two to three weeks, you know,
(21:51):
using a belly binder was really helpful. And for sure,
do not overdo even if you are like type A
plus plus plus plus plus I am. There's a fine
line I feel like between they say, get up and
move after your C section, moving will really help the
healing process. But then it's like, but don't move too much,
you know, like, don't hurt yourself, don't over exert yourself
(22:14):
in so kind of understanding that line, and yeah, I'm
not like wanting to do everything yourself and being very independent.
That was hard. I kind of almost don't even have
many memories from the first few weeks. Also because post
c section you're on medication and your sleep deprived, yes,
and sleep deprived yeah. Yeah, I think that's pretty much
(22:34):
a blur for everybody. So, um, how is your workout
routine changed since you had Aurora? You know, they say
post c section you need to wait six weeks to
get cleared by your OBI. I mean, I think that
should be twelve weeks. And I love my OBI, she's
a sweetheart, but they don't have the physical exercise knowledge,
(22:59):
you know, behind saying like, yes, you're ready to work out.
It's just not their field. I think that public floor
physical therapists need to become much more mainstream, and that
needs to be stepped too. It needs to be not hey,
you're cleared to go exercise, it needs to be hey,
you're cleared to go to public floor PAT whether you
had a vaginal birth or a C section. I did
(23:21):
go to public floor PT and they were amazing and
helping me with scarred mobilization and you know, all the
public floor stuff and guiding me on exercising. Yes, I'm
a personal trainer, but this is my first birth, you know,
and first experience. And I wouldn't advise women before I
went through my pregnancy just because, you know, I don't
(23:42):
think that you can begin to understand what women go
through until you've done it yourself. And maybe that might
be a generalization, but that's my comfort level. I totally agree.
I mean, what inspired me to write what to Expect
when you're expecting in the first place that got knocked up.
You've got to be able to walk in a pregnant
woman's you know, and realize that they don't fit. Because yes,
(24:05):
and speaking of shoes, I have a closet full and
none of them fit. They're all too small. Now I'm
mourning my cute heels. All this happens. This happened, But
that means you can go shoo shopping, right, That's what
I'm trying to convince my husband. Here the optimist, look
at the first side, right. I love how really you
(24:38):
are about your postpartum body, which I think is so
super important because I don't know about you, but when
I walked out of the hospital for the first time,
for some reason, I thought, you walk out like without
a belly, because you have a baby, so why would
you still have a belly, And so lots of women
don't expect their bellies, so you know, pretty much looks
(24:58):
six months probably when they're postpartum. So you're embracing your
body post baby, and I think that's great because it's
heroic what a woman's body does. It's truly truly amazing.
Um because making a baby is really hard work, very hard, work,
and I think that, you know, I definitely always tried to,
(25:21):
you know, just remember that, like this body is what
brought me my baby that we worked so hard for,
So like what's a bit of loose skin and stretch marks?
You know? But I know it's not that easy for
a lot of women. I think that society has done
a great job, you know, like pretty baby. I would
look at celebrities who had a baby and looked like
(25:41):
they didn't a few weeks later, and I was like,
miss something, something's weird here. And I'm sorry, no hate
on anyone who decides to go under the knife for
any reason, but like, let's call it like it is.
They're getting surgery. They're probably having a C section and
a tummy tuck right after, you know. I mean, I've
my best friend works in the industry, and I hear
(26:02):
those stories and it's just like that's not as much
as like you do you it's also not okay to
for what that's doing to all the moms watching. So
I do just think that it's I have a responsibility.
I have a platform to use, and I want to
use it the best way I can, and for right
now in my life, that is to help other moms
(26:23):
and women, you know, period men too. You know, it's
actually very important for men to understand too, because then
they could have unrealistic expectations for their partners, their wives,
and that, you know, creates a host of other issues.
I do have to ask you because this comes up
a lot. Did Luca gain any weight when you were pregnant?
Oh my god, Oh my god, He's gonna die that
(26:46):
we're talking about this, because yeah, he's he keeps being
like man and I like this dad body came in
quick and you know, and he's the one who got
me into working out to begin with, you know, back
at the beginning of our relations ship. And yeah, so
we've always been on this kind of like fitness journey
healthy lifestyle together. And the truth is, if I'm not
(27:08):
super on it, he's not, you know, like we're we
kind of are always on the same page. And so, yes,
he has gained weight. It was also his hormones, because
guys experienced a surgeon estrogen when you're practicing, Yes, they do. Wow,
So that's what sends them, you know, to the freezer
for ice cream or ice cream is his krypt tonite.
(27:28):
That's exactly what he does. So. Um, now let's come
back to parenting. You founded the Fit Body apps and
it has a special program now for pregnancy and postpartum. Yes,
so I did design the pregnancy program. Again when I
was pregnant, I didn't feel comfortable coming out with anything
before I had experienced that, and I actually love that program,
(27:52):
like even being postpartum, Like it's such a great low
impact strength training but like medium intensity you know, program UM.
And then we recently expanded to bring on other trainers
and Brittany Lufton is one of our trainers who is
a mom, and she brought on her postpart and program UM.
So they have definitely been two great additions to that
(28:14):
app to help women that are in all stages of
their life. With that being said, I do have something
coming for c section moms because there really is a
big difference between how you need to exercise post c
section and post vaginal births. No completely now being a
new mom and we have lots of pregnant and new
(28:34):
moms listening right now, what has surprised you most about
being a mom? Gosh, I would say, like first and
foremost is like I grew up with my dad telling
me you will never understand the love I have for
you until you have your own children. It's just impossible
to understand. And I was like, okay, Dad, okay, okay,
I get it. I get it. You know, it really
(28:55):
is true, like you just can't imagine the love that
you have for your child old. And that's one aspect.
I think. The other aspect is that as soon as
you think you have it down, everything changes everything. Like
you know, it took us a while to learn her
cries and like this and that, and then like sleep situation,
(29:15):
and then like a regression hits. So it's like as
soon as we get comfortable, we're completely thrown for a
loop and scrambling and trying to figure everything out. Don't
get too comfortable. How is he sleeping now? Horribly? I
mean I think from two to three months or two
and a half to three and a half much it
was like we got this, like we can do this,
(29:37):
you know. Then around the four month time period, you know,
even though that there's controversy over like does a regression
actually exist? You know? Okay, but yeah, I know, her
sleep just kind of reverted back to like newborn days
of waking up every hour to two hours. Um gosh,
I mean we can really get into it if you want.
It's but I this sleep topic, it's it's controversial. You know,
(30:00):
how to sleep, how your baby should sleep, And I
am very pro ABC's you know, safe sleep alone on
their back in the crib. Never wanted to co sleep.
No judgment on anyone that decides to, but like that
was our personal decision. And yeah no, I mean she's
been sleeping, you know, in our bed for the last
(30:23):
month because that's literally the only way we get any sleep.
It was a matter of desperation and survival. Desperate parents
call for desperate measures. Now I I totally get it,
and you're not alone. This is this is what keeps
every parent open night. In the sleep training conversation, we
go back and forth. Yeah, she's at that six months, right.
(30:46):
I just don't ask you because you have a baby girl.
One day she's going to become a woman. What will
you want her to know about her body? And I'm
sure you want her to love it? But what what
would you say to future woman daughter? Um, this is
such a great and such a hard topic, you know,
because as much as I can say things or not
(31:10):
say things, Um, there's the media and friends and you know,
all those outside influences. I just hope that she knows that,
like her body is not the most important thing about her.
There's so much more that is important. There's nothing wrong
with wanting to look good, but that is not what
defines you. It's not what gives you worth or value.
(31:31):
And if you want it to look a certain way,
like through fitness or other means, I think that anyone
and everyone should feel empowered to look the way that
they want to. I think about this a lot because
it's just a so nerve wracking of like you know
what it's going to be in the future, and also
because I am in the fitness industry and I work
with a lot of women who have body dysmorphia or
(31:52):
eating disorders, and something that has been a common theme
and a lot of the women I talked to, and
I just want to say, is not my area of expertise,
but just in friendly conversations, a lot of women saying, yeah,
my issues started when a family member poked at my
belly or said this about me at seven years old.
(32:13):
And you know, it's made me take a step back
because I have to admit I am someone that I
have not struggled with body image issues. It's not because
I have a perfect body by any means. I truly
think that it is because I was raised primarily by
my father, who never said a word about my body.
My mom moved away when I was ten for work.
We still had a very close relationship, but I didn't
(32:36):
have any females in my life. I didn't have anyone saying, oh,
I need to look this way, I need to do
I need to lose weight, I need to do this.
Because it's not always about what you say to the
little girl. It's about what they hear. No, it's what
you're saying to yourself and out loud, and and how
you're behaving what you're saying to yourself or about other people.
(32:56):
You know. So I think that's gonna be my absolute
first line of defense is, just like you know, to
speak positively about my body, no matter how it looks
or other people, and to not assign worth to bodies.
That is such a great message and I just want
to thank you so much for joining us today, Anna,
And for the three people who don't already follow you,
(33:19):
where can they find you? Yeah, they can follow me
on Instagram at Anna Victoria or my app at fit
body app and yeah and you are pretty much by
searching ant Victoria. Okay, and you owe me a baby
snuggle with Oh, I know I was supposed to bring
her in. I'm sorry. If she's still sleeping, that's a record,
(33:39):
So well we'll find out we were talking about sleeping, right.
Thank you, Thank You's been an honor. Thanks so much,
Baby love, my baby love, and need you, oh how
I need you. Thanks for listening. Remember I'm always here
(34:03):
for you. What to Expect is always here for you.
We're all in this together. For more on what you
heard on today's episode, visit what to Expect dot com
slash podcasts. You can also check out what to Expect
when You're Expecting, What to Expect the First Year, and
the what to Expect app. And we want to hear
from you. Connect with us on our community message board
(34:26):
or on our social media. You can find me at
Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma Being wt E and
of course at What to Expect. Baby Love is performed
by Riley Peterer. What to Expect is a production of
I Heart Radio. From more shows from I heart Radio,
check out the I heart Radio app. Apple podcasts or
(34:49):
wherever you listen to your favorite shows. In my arms,
what don't just stay Neja need, baby love, baby lose
Who baby, a baby love, I need you, Oh how
I need you? What to expect? As a production of
My Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff, and I'm
a mom on a mission, a mission to help you
know what to expect every step of the way. If
(00:25):
there's one thing you can always expect here on what
to expect, it's that we are going to keep it real,
which is why I am so excited to welcome a
very special mom who has made her life an open
book on social media. Anna Victoria is a personal trainer
and fitness guru who has shared honestly with her millions
(00:47):
of followers, first about her journey to wellness, which led
to a wildly popular fitness app, and more recently about
her journey to motherhood, which included just a few detours,
a year of trying to conceive and ultimately I VF
and now Anna is a new mom to a six
month old baby girl, Aurora. So Anna, thank you so
(01:10):
much for being here today. First of all, congratulations and baby,
thank you? Who is beautiful? And those cheeks I know
I diet the cheeks. Thank you. Thank you so much
for having me Je's and what I'd like to call
the golden age of babyhood because it's all smiles, belly
(01:33):
laughs and joy and they're not crawling and getting into
stuff yet. Right, I'm definitely not prepared for that, Like
with the house stuff, babyproofing, that's a whole new world
we're about to get into. So I definitely am enjoying
her being stationary and just giggly right now. It's now,
(01:53):
how has it been being pregnant and giving birth during
a pandemic? You also move stay it's no biggie, yeah,
which was planned pre COVID. We planned to move from
l A to Austin, Texas to buy a house since
the market in l A is just you know, outrageous,
and yeah, so obviously as well, we did IVF and
(02:16):
we never knew when we were going to be pregnant,
and it just everything coincided with being pregnant, moving states,
and a pandemic. So it's been quite a right but
you know, honestly, I am an optimist. I am, and
I remember, you know, being pregnant mid pandemic. My husband's
families from Italy, and so they we always planned for
(02:39):
them to come. His mom was supposed to come stay
with us for three months for the birth, and we
quickly realized that wasn't going to be able to happen,
which was upsetting, but I was like, it's okay, we
got it, you know, like we're we're going to get through.
We can take care of it. Okay, that's when I
was pregnant right now. Once I had the baby and
those postpartum hormones came into play, you know, no amount
(03:01):
of optimism can you know, cover up the fact that
we missed out on sharing our daughter's first moments with
her grandparents and all of our family. She's the first
girl on his dad's side of the family fifty years.
Oh my goodness. So yeah, you know, it's been hard,
but still grateful for for our health and that's just
(03:23):
what we try to focus on absolutely, And we're going
to come back to your pregnancy, but first let's go
to something you've been very open about sharing, and that's
getting pregnant. And you were trying to conceive for about
a year to two years. So when did you first
make the move up to fertility clinic after the year mark,
(03:45):
so we started trying, um goodness, it was December two
and seventeen, and you know, I'm one of seven. My
mom had no trouble conceiving with any of us, and
I just thought like, oh, when I'm ready, you know,
like it's just gonna have in. And you know, six
months went fine. It was like it's not happening yet.
Did some research and I read, you know, it can
(04:07):
take six to twelve months for a normal healthy couple.
Month nine, it was like, okay, what is going on?
So uh then you know, wait until month twelve. And
that's when we were like, you know, we are ready now.
We don't want to wait for another three six months
and then still be in the same position. So we
went to At the time we lived in l A.
(04:29):
We went to Southern California Reproductive Center. They ran all
the tests, the blood work, couldn't find anything wrong with
either of us, so we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility.
I also am a personal trainer. I eight healthy. What
I kept hearing back, which was like so frustrating, was
like everything looks perfect, you know, and it's like, oh great, well,
(04:51):
then why is this not happening? In some ways, like
I don't ever want to say it's good to hear
that they're something wrong, but when you do, there's a
course of action. They know how to treat it and
how to proceed with unexplaining fertility. You're just, you know,
kind of at a loss. Entilog just magically happened, you know,
(05:12):
So immediately we did two i u e s back
to back, obviously unsuccessfully at that point. It actually it
took more of a toll on my husband. He's like
I said, he's Italian, He's very where's his heart on
his sleeve. I'm the one that I'm like, we'll get
through it. I'm going to power through. I can handle it.
But him still seeing the impact it had on me
(05:35):
and honestly the hormones how it impacted me let resolve
was like horrible for me. Um, he was like, you know,
let's take a break. We even went to Italy for
our anniversary that may because this at this point in time,
it was February March, and you know, every like everyone
said like, oh, just relaxed, just go travel and it's
gonna happen. Nope, still didn't happen. But we had a
(05:58):
good time. So we had a great time. And now
I'm like, oh, I'm so happy. We want on those
trips premb you know, fact we get it in while
you can. Yeah. So after after those trips, we decide, okay,
in the fall, if we didn't conceive, we would do
ib F, which is what we ended up doing. Uh
didn't agitarable September who two thousand nineteen, and then the
(06:21):
transferred November two thousand nineteen, which was successful. Oh that's
so wonderful and you got it on the first try. Yeah.
So yeah, the hormones and feeling like you were a
pin cushion, like always being stuck. That must have been
super hard and emotionally just as a couple. How did
it feel to keep trying and trying and trying. Was
(06:42):
it a strain on your relationship at all? Yeah, it
really really was. And he and I really are two
p's in a pod, like we were meant for each other,
you know, and we like don't fight very much, but
that time period, U like, it was a completely different
ballgame for us and put so much strain on us.
Like there were things that I said that I'm not
(07:03):
proud of and that I regretted saying to him, And
the hormones made you do it. Yeah, it's exactly. He
had so much grace with me. We're as great of
a couple as we are because of him, because he's
such as we are. But yeah, there were times that
you know it not only times then that at his
stress tests, but there are lasting impacts that we've noticed,
(07:24):
even after infertility, even at having a baby, that we
notice still have carried over, like the anxiety around intimacy.
When you're trying to make a baby, it's so robotic,
and you know that's not good for either of us
and it's hard to just you know, forget all of that.
And at the same time we wonder what is it
(07:46):
going to be like for baby number two and three?
You know, we always wanted three and four kids. You
know you also have a baby, and yes, and that
doesn't make it easy for sure. Yeah, absolutely, yes, Yeah,
there's baby must oil instead of like ky, why next
to the right right right? Yeah? So why is it
so important to you to be so open on social
(08:09):
media about the process. So I didn't know if I
would be like in that first year. I just hoped
to be like we're pregnant, you know, of course, like
everyone hopes to be able to do that, and more
so with my family on I'm the type that my
struggles don't define me or they don't overcome me, I
think that they empower me. And like that's kind of
(08:30):
always been my approach with my fitness journey. Like I'm
a personal trainer that's going to tell you I hate
working out, Like sometimes I love it, but the majority
of the time I don't want to do it. I
do it anyways because I feel so good afterwards, So
I do it. So I knew that if I was
going to share about the struggle, if I needed to,
I would be empowered by it because helping other women
(08:51):
people know that they're not alone, that just fills me up.
That's so awesome. Have you gotten lots of responses from
other women going through the same experien shockingly thousands every
day even now, two years, three years after you know,
the entire journey. Every day I received messages from women
(09:12):
that either just now discovered me apparently if you like,
look up I v F for agrigary. But a lot
of my stuff pops up, which is, you know, I
don't know how, but it's happening. And other women that
have been following me through the journey, they weren't in
that time period of their life at the time I was,
but now they are. It's really shocking, and how many
couples go through this it is, I mean, of course
(09:34):
the number is growing. I do want to know how
did you, um, did you feel guarded after you found
out who were pregnant. I'm such an open book that,
like I wanted to share. It's interesting publicly, but internally
I had so much anxiety about it because you're so
worried about what is going to happen, Like you hear
(09:55):
horrible stories of things happening, you know, when people say like, oh,
the same zone is for the first trimemester, It's not
like there's something can happen at any point. So I
had anxiety more about announcing it for that reason. Yeah, internally,
it was definitely a huge struggle first trimester and then
almost third trimester. Second trimester was like the glory you
(10:17):
know time period. Did you ever resent other moms who
got pregnant easily? I feel like saying resent is you know,
I mean it's a very valid feeling that some women have. Absolutely, yeah,
personally I didn't. It was it was absolutely like you know, gosh,
what's the right word out of devastation? You know. I
(10:38):
had a friend one time, tell me that she was pregnant,
and I cried not happy tears in front of her.
I tried to cover it up as like happy tears,
you know, um, which I was. There were happy tears,
but there were sad tears. And again, like I said,
I'm I'm I'm a happy, go lucky, optimistic type person
and I didn't expect to feel those feelings. But it's
so natural. How did you tell your family? Oh? So
(11:01):
I we did the transfer in November, November eighteen, so
Thanksgiving was a few days later, and it was a
five day embryo, so five days post transfer, it was
you know that at that point in time, I had
gotten a positive you know, ten days. So it was
Thanksgiving and I was like, should I do the butt
in the oven? We have Thanksgiving buns? But I was like, no,
(11:23):
there's two. I didn't want to tell everyone. I have
a big family and one of seven. Um, there's normally
thirty people at our Thanksgiving, and so I was like,
I'm just going to tell my sisters and my brother
that were there, and my mom and so to kind
of get them away from everyone, I brought them outside
out front to just take a picture, and Luca was
taking the picture and everyone was in the line and
(11:45):
I said three to one like smile, and I said,
I'm pregnant. And it was a video so so so
did everybody here it and understand it and comprehend? Oh? Yeah,
Like it was kind of like a split second of
like jaw drop and then like screaming. And it's funny
because everyone knew we were doing the agraitory bole, but
(12:05):
no one knew when we were doing the transfer and
I we wanted to keep that a secret, which was
hard to do, but we wanted to keep that a
secret because we didn't want eyeballs of like didn't work,
are you pregnant? So we told everyone to get them
off of our backs. We were like, we're doing it
after the holidays, okay, uh nay. Yeah, So pregnancy, after
(12:37):
all of that effort to get pregnant, did it seem like,
you know, relatively easy lift, so to speak. Yeah. I'm
one of those that loved being pregnant. Yeah, I just
thought it was beauty of the body changes. I think
we're beautiful. And I did have morning sickness the first trimester,
but not to the point of actually, you know, throwing up,
just like you know, being nauseous, and that was really it. Otherwise,
(13:00):
I had a great pregnancy. I worked out through my
entire pregnancy, but then came labor and delivery. So I
know you have a birth story to share. Um, I
mean every mom does. Yeah, how is it different than
what you expected? So there's two parts here that made
me think it would be much easier than it was.
First was my mom. You know, she always said, O,
(13:22):
dental pain is worse than childbirth, you know, which, like okay,
I know, right, and she's like, okay, not literally, but
it's a mental thing. You have to get into a
mental place. And my dad even told me like she
didn't even screen during labor, you know, like, so props
to her. That's not me, I discovered, And so I
I definitely had kind of a different idea of what
(13:44):
would be going in because of that. Then, Yes, because
I'm a personal trainer and so many women who have
done my programs and are in my community have said
to me, Anna, pre Fitness Journey pre FPG, I didn't
work out and my labor was horrible. I just had
a baby, and I've been working out with your app,
your programs, and it was a breeze comparatively. So I
(14:04):
always was like awesome, Like so many women are telling
me how much better it was after their fitness journey,
So like I should be able to handle this, you
would think, you would think, right. I ended up having
an unplanned C section after who what was it? Fifteen
hours of labor, three hours of pushing, and she got
(14:27):
stuck behind my pelvic phone. My hopes were that I
would have an unmedicated vaginal birth. My contractions came on
so quick. They said my water didn't break, but I
A I had a gush of water, you know. So
someone was like, you probably had a high leak. So
they couldn't something along those lines. Um, Because my contractions
(14:48):
came on quick, and they were very close together from
the beginning, and I didn't get any time to rest
in between contractions. It was two in the morning, I
hadn't slept, I hadn't eaten, went into labor, went to
the hospital, got there like three, and um, I started
throwing up. I couldn't keep anything down. I was nauseous,
(15:10):
and I was four centimeters dilated when I got there.
After all that, yeah, right, And so I was in
labor for seven hours and they checked me again and
I remember thinking in my head, if I'm not at
least seven centimeters dilated, I'm getting an epidural like already,
like not a part of my birth plan. But I
(15:32):
was like, if I'm not dilating, it's because my body
is under so much stress right now. I can't relax
because I'm not getting breaks in between my contractions. I
need help. Seven hours later, I was still four centimeters
when they told me that, I was just like, you're like,
I couldn't believe it, like for still at the same spot,
(15:54):
like at least five. So I said, give me the
epidural now, like in that time from when the antithesiologist
needs to prepare it and get to other you know, patients. First,
I was like screaming, like where are they? So I
got the epidural. I within an hour went to what
was it, six centimeters and so that's like it was
(16:16):
exactly what my body needed. I couldn't relax. And let
me tell you, that epidural was great. I went from like,
you know, being in constant pain for seven hours to
singing to Michael Boublet that was playing in the background
and between contractions. It was amazing. Yeah, there are a
lot of fans out there. Oh yes, oh yes. So
(16:40):
the problem was I have a high tolerance to anesthesia.
I have woken up under anesthesia before in the past,
and I didn't remember that. And so when the epidural
started wearing off, I was like, you guys, you guys,
I can feel this again, and they were like whoa,
Like what's going on. This happened three different times for
(17:03):
the next five hours. I kept getting the epidural. An
hour later it would wear off, and then thirty minutes
to scramble and get the anse asiologist back. So I
was going in and out of pain for the next
five hours. And then when it came time to push,
and that I was ten centimeters dilated. Pushed for three hours,
she got to the station zero and wasn't dropping, and
(17:26):
so they said, hey, you have one more hour to
push or you need to have a C section. I
went fifty minutes and they checked me in there like
she hasn't moved, and I was like, let's go, So
please tell me that the epidural lasted during the c section. Oh,
they topped me up and then some yes because I
told him, hey, hey, I'm about to have a c section,
(17:49):
Like please like load me up because this has been wearing,
you know, coming in and out. So they did. I
absolutely felt all the weird jerking and jiggling movements, but
no actual pain. Just to note, when they were doing
the C section, they actually had to make my decision
bigger because they said she was so stuck in there
they had a hard time getting her out. So like
(18:10):
that was confirmation of like, we made the right decision,
you know completely. But with you know, nearly a third
of moms at some point getting a C section, don't
you think it's important for them to prepare for that possibility,
even if it's not a scheduled See, yeah, you know
I took Bradley classes. That's what my mom did. Dr
(18:30):
Bradley was actually her first her obief with her first pregnancy.
Yeah that's good. And um I actually posted on my
Insto stories and his granddaughter follows me and replied was
like he's my grandpa that Yeah. So I took Bradley lessons.
We skipped over the C section part because I was like,
I don't need it, You're not gonna need it, yeah,
(18:51):
which was definitely not you know, the best decision on
my part. So lesson learned. But um, I do think
that it's just good to be educated about all the
different possibilities, you know, like even just from induction options
and yeah, and all the obviously all the stages of labor,
which my husband knows better than I do. Um, yeah,
(19:14):
you know you do. You do the best you can
in the moment, and you live in your learning exactly.
You never know exactly what to expect, right, No, two
labors and deliveries are the same, and your next one
maybe entirely different. Chances are will be right, you know,
I'm truly conflicted on what to do, to do a
(19:35):
v back, you know, to attempt to be back, or
just to do a scheduled C section, because I hear
that scheduled c sections are so much less traumatic and
even like physically traumatic than on planned or emergency ones,
especially obviously after labor. So well, you've been through a lot,
so let's cross that bridge from right, absolutely absolutely now
(20:00):
your recovery from a C section? Did that surprise you?
The most excruciating thing I've ever been through? I just
how do you say the like negative core strength, you know,
the complete absence of your core and a wound and
ginormous you know, wound and not being able to hold
(20:23):
your baby or to stand and hold your baby, and
all the awkward and painful positions that you need to
get into to try to breastfeed. Like it was so hard,
it's still hard. I'm six months postpartum and I still
am working on regaining my core strength and doing you know,
the same movements I used to. So, what's your advice
(20:45):
for moms who've just had a C section? Two? Great question. A.
You need help, whether it's a partner or a family member, Um,
you need someone to help you. Getting a belly binder
for me was so important, and I have to be honest,
I was kind of anti postpartum belly binders because being
(21:07):
a personal trainer, I'm very anti like detox t s
and waste trainers, you know, all these things that like,
you know, just waste people's money. You want to make
your muscles do the work instead of having them rely
on a binder exactly, and this is a belly binder.
Postpart was completely different, and I had to kind of
get over that, you know, that humph in my mind.
(21:30):
And I didn't use one for the first few days,
and when I realized, like gosh, I just need to
try this, and I was like, oh, this is so
much better. You don't want to use it for too long, because,
like you said, you do need your core to use itself,
you know, to start firing up at some point, but
definitely for the first two to three weeks, you know,
(21:51):
using a belly binder was really helpful. And for sure,
do not overdo even if you are like type A
plus plus plus plus plus I am. There's a fine
line I feel like between they say, get up and
move after your C section, moving will really help the
healing process. But then it's like, but don't move too much,
you know, like, don't hurt yourself, don't over exert yourself
(22:14):
in so kind of understanding that line, and yeah, I'm
not like wanting to do everything yourself and being very independent.
That was hard. I kind of almost don't even have
many memories from the first few weeks. Also because post
c section you're on medication and your sleep deprived, yes,
and sleep deprived yeah. Yeah, I think that's pretty much
(22:34):
a blur for everybody. So, um, how is your workout
routine changed since you had Aurora? You know, they say
post c section you need to wait six weeks to
get cleared by your OBI. I mean, I think that
should be twelve weeks. And I love my OBI, she's
a sweetheart, but they don't have the physical exercise knowledge,
(22:59):
you know, behind saying like, yes, you're ready to work out.
It's just not their field. I think that public floor
physical therapists need to become much more mainstream, and that
needs to be stepped too. It needs to be not hey,
you're cleared to go exercise, it needs to be hey,
you're cleared to go to public floor PAT whether you
had a vaginal birth or a C section. I did
(23:21):
go to public floor PT and they were amazing and
helping me with scarred mobilization and you know, all the
public floor stuff and guiding me on exercising. Yes, I'm
a personal trainer, but this is my first birth, you know,
and first experience. And I wouldn't advise women before I
went through my pregnancy just because, you know, I don't
(23:42):
think that you can begin to understand what women go
through until you've done it yourself. And maybe that might
be a generalization, but that's my comfort level. I totally agree.
I mean, what inspired me to write what to Expect
when you're expecting in the first place that got knocked up.
You've got to be able to walk in a pregnant
woman's you know, and realize that they don't fit. Because yes,
(24:05):
and speaking of shoes, I have a closet full and
none of them fit. They're all too small. Now I'm
mourning my cute heels. All this happens. This happened, But
that means you can go shoo shopping, right, That's what
I'm trying to convince my husband. Here the optimist, look
at the first side, right. I love how really you
(24:38):
are about your postpartum body, which I think is so
super important because I don't know about you, but when
I walked out of the hospital for the first time,
for some reason, I thought, you walk out like without
a belly, because you have a baby, so why would
you still have a belly, And so lots of women
don't expect their bellies, so you know, pretty much looks
(24:58):
six months probably when they're postpartum. So you're embracing your
body post baby, and I think that's great because it's
heroic what a woman's body does. It's truly truly amazing.
Um because making a baby is really hard work, very hard, work,
and I think that, you know, I definitely always tried to,
(25:21):
you know, just remember that, like this body is what
brought me my baby that we worked so hard for,
So like what's a bit of loose skin and stretch marks?
You know? But I know it's not that easy for
a lot of women. I think that society has done
a great job, you know, like pretty baby. I would
look at celebrities who had a baby and looked like
(25:41):
they didn't a few weeks later, and I was like,
miss something, something's weird here. And I'm sorry, no hate
on anyone who decides to go under the knife for
any reason, but like, let's call it like it is.
They're getting surgery. They're probably having a C section and
a tummy tuck right after, you know. I mean, I've
my best friend works in the industry, and I hear
(26:02):
those stories and it's just like that's not as much
as like you do you it's also not okay to
for what that's doing to all the moms watching. So
I do just think that it's I have a responsibility.
I have a platform to use, and I want to
use it the best way I can, and for right
now in my life, that is to help other moms
(26:23):
and women, you know, period men too. You know, it's
actually very important for men to understand too, because then
they could have unrealistic expectations for their partners, their wives,
and that, you know, creates a host of other issues.
I do have to ask you because this comes up
a lot. Did Luca gain any weight when you were pregnant?
Oh my god, Oh my god, He's gonna die that
(26:46):
we're talking about this, because yeah, he's he keeps being
like man and I like this dad body came in
quick and you know, and he's the one who got
me into working out to begin with, you know, back
at the beginning of our relations ship. And yeah, so
we've always been on this kind of like fitness journey
healthy lifestyle together. And the truth is, if I'm not
(27:08):
super on it, he's not, you know, like we're we
kind of are always on the same page. And so, yes,
he has gained weight. It was also his hormones, because
guys experienced a surgeon estrogen when you're practicing, Yes, they do. Wow,
So that's what sends them, you know, to the freezer
for ice cream or ice cream is his krypt tonite.
(27:28):
That's exactly what he does. So. Um, now let's come
back to parenting. You founded the Fit Body apps and
it has a special program now for pregnancy and postpartum. Yes,
so I did design the pregnancy program. Again when I
was pregnant, I didn't feel comfortable coming out with anything
before I had experienced that, and I actually love that program,
(27:52):
like even being postpartum, Like it's such a great low
impact strength training but like medium intensity you know, program UM.
And then we recently expanded to bring on other trainers
and Brittany Lufton is one of our trainers who is
a mom, and she brought on her postpart and program UM.
So they have definitely been two great additions to that
(28:14):
app to help women that are in all stages of
their life. With that being said, I do have something
coming for c section moms because there really is a
big difference between how you need to exercise post c
section and post vaginal births. No completely now being a
new mom and we have lots of pregnant and new
(28:34):
moms listening right now, what has surprised you most about
being a mom? Gosh, I would say, like first and
foremost is like I grew up with my dad telling
me you will never understand the love I have for
you until you have your own children. It's just impossible
to understand. And I was like, okay, Dad, okay, okay,
I get it. I get it. You know, it really
(28:55):
is true, like you just can't imagine the love that
you have for your child old. And that's one aspect.
I think. The other aspect is that as soon as
you think you have it down, everything changes everything. Like
you know, it took us a while to learn her
cries and like this and that, and then like sleep situation,
(29:15):
and then like a regression hits. So it's like as
soon as we get comfortable, we're completely thrown for a
loop and scrambling and trying to figure everything out. Don't
get too comfortable. How is he sleeping now? Horribly? I
mean I think from two to three months or two
and a half to three and a half much it
was like we got this, like we can do this,
(29:37):
you know. Then around the four month time period, you know,
even though that there's controversy over like does a regression
actually exist? You know? Okay, but yeah, I know, her
sleep just kind of reverted back to like newborn days
of waking up every hour to two hours. Um gosh,
I mean we can really get into it if you want.
It's but I this sleep topic, it's it's controversial. You know,
(30:00):
how to sleep, how your baby should sleep, And I
am very pro ABC's you know, safe sleep alone on
their back in the crib. Never wanted to co sleep.
No judgment on anyone that decides to, but like that
was our personal decision. And yeah no, I mean she's
been sleeping, you know, in our bed for the last
(30:23):
month because that's literally the only way we get any sleep.
It was a matter of desperation and survival. Desperate parents
call for desperate measures. Now I I totally get it,
and you're not alone. This is this is what keeps
every parent open night. In the sleep training conversation, we
go back and forth. Yeah, she's at that six months, right.
(30:46):
I just don't ask you because you have a baby girl.
One day she's going to become a woman. What will
you want her to know about her body? And I'm
sure you want her to love it? But what what
would you say to future woman daughter? Um, this is
such a great and such a hard topic, you know,
because as much as I can say things or not
(31:10):
say things, Um, there's the media and friends and you know,
all those outside influences. I just hope that she knows that,
like her body is not the most important thing about her.
There's so much more that is important. There's nothing wrong
with wanting to look good, but that is not what
defines you. It's not what gives you worth or value.
(31:31):
And if you want it to look a certain way,
like through fitness or other means, I think that anyone
and everyone should feel empowered to look the way that
they want to. I think about this a lot because
it's just a so nerve wracking of like you know
what it's going to be in the future, and also
because I am in the fitness industry and I work
with a lot of women who have body dysmorphia or
(31:52):
eating disorders, and something that has been a common theme
and a lot of the women I talked to, and
I just want to say, is not my area of expertise,
but just in friendly conversations, a lot of women saying, yeah,
my issues started when a family member poked at my
belly or said this about me at seven years old.
(32:13):
And you know, it's made me take a step back
because I have to admit I am someone that I
have not struggled with body image issues. It's not because
I have a perfect body by any means. I truly
think that it is because I was raised primarily by
my father, who never said a word about my body.
My mom moved away when I was ten for work.
We still had a very close relationship, but I didn't
(32:36):
have any females in my life. I didn't have anyone saying, oh,
I need to look this way, I need to do
I need to lose weight, I need to do this.
Because it's not always about what you say to the
little girl. It's about what they hear. No, it's what
you're saying to yourself and out loud, and and how
you're behaving what you're saying to yourself or about other people.
(32:56):
You know. So I think that's gonna be my absolute
first line of defense is, just like you know, to
speak positively about my body, no matter how it looks
or other people, and to not assign worth to bodies.
That is such a great message and I just want
to thank you so much for joining us today, Anna,
And for the three people who don't already follow you,
(33:19):
where can they find you? Yeah, they can follow me
on Instagram at Anna Victoria or my app at fit
body app and yeah and you are pretty much by
searching ant Victoria. Okay, and you owe me a baby
snuggle with Oh, I know I was supposed to bring
her in. I'm sorry. If she's still sleeping, that's a record,
(33:39):
So well we'll find out we were talking about sleeping, right.
Thank you, Thank You's been an honor. Thanks so much,
Baby love, my baby love, and need you, oh how
I need you. Thanks for listening. Remember I'm always here
(34:03):
for you. What to Expect is always here for you.
We're all in this together. For more on what you
heard on today's episode, visit what to Expect dot com
slash podcasts. You can also check out what to Expect
when You're Expecting, What to Expect the First Year, and
the what to Expect app. And we want to hear
from you. Connect with us on our community message board
(34:26):
or on our social media. You can find me at
Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma Being wt E and
of course at What to Expect. Baby Love is performed
by Riley Peterer. What to Expect is a production of
I Heart Radio. From more shows from I heart Radio,
check out the I heart Radio app. Apple podcasts or
(34:49):
wherever you listen to your favorite shows. In my arms,
what don't just stay Neja need, baby love, baby lose
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