April 14, 2021 • 29 mins
The heavy lift of pregnancy - and the possibly even heavier lift of labor and delivery - is over, and your baby is finally here. But what can you expect when it comes to postpartum symptoms? Heidi and Emma break down the biggest postpartum symptoms, surprises, and how to prepare. From the dreaded fundal massage, to what you need to know about breastfeeding, bleeding, night sweats, peeing and pooping - nothing is off-limits.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh baby, my baby, belof I need you, Oh how
I need you? What do you you expect? As a production
of I Heart Radio, I'm your host, Heiny Murkoff, and
I'm a mom on a mission, a mission to help
you know what to expect every step of the way. Congratulations,
(00:26):
The heavy lift of pregnancy and the possibly even heavier
lift of labor and delivery is over and now comes
the easy lift. Instead of carting around a watermelon sized belly,
you get to snuggle your tiny bundle of joy and
savor that fresh baby sweetness and e l c figure
(00:48):
out how to pee again, why your feet are so
puffy and why that nurse keeps coming into your room
pumping on your poor aching belly and calling it uterine massage.
Even if you sail through pregnancy and have the easiest
labor and delivery on record, and especially if you didn't,
(01:08):
your body has been stretched and pushed to the max
and it needs a chance to recover. Let's face it,
giving birth comes with more than a baby. It comes
with a whole lot of new symptoms and new questions,
wondering what you can expect when you're all finished expecting. Today,
(01:28):
M and I are here to deliver the good, the bad,
and the very unexpected about your postpartum recovery, whether you're
still in the hospital, trying to rest up at home,
or just trying to plan ahead so you'll be ahead
of the game. We've got your postpartum questions covered, so
you know what to expect every step of the way.
(01:51):
So as we all know by now, I didn't have
a clue of what to expect until I wrote What
to Expect, so everything was the rise. Now, Emma, what
would you say surprise you most about postpartum? What were
the physical symptoms that threw you for a loop? Okay,
so I remember the first time I got out of bed,
(02:13):
I looked in the mirror and I was like, holy shit,
my boobs look amazing. In my entire life, they had
never looked this good. I mean, I guess maybe they hurt,
but I didn't even care. I was like wow. Emotionally,
with Lennox, I was like on euphoria. It was amazing.
(02:34):
I was happy. I was like wow, for the first
time in my life. I didn't use my phone, but
with Sevy I was. I had horrible postparmed depression, so
I didn't really even like him. Um, so I didn't
really want to be around him. And I know that's
hard to say. Now I can say it like and
be like, you know, this is my journey. But at first,
obviously it's really hard to accept. But with Lennox it
(02:55):
was completely different, and I was like, I got this.
I think the only thing for me. I thought that
right away my belly would be gone and it wasn't.
And I remember I was like, wait a second, I
have these amazing boobs, but I also look pregnant. So
(03:16):
so when I asked my Facebook moms what surprised them
most about postpartum, one thing that I did here over
and over again was, you know, I didn't expect breastfeeding
to be that hard. I thought it was a natural process.
It's just kind of come naturally. And so many moms
said they regretted not taking a class or reading up
(03:38):
in advance, because then they felt completely unprepared. You have
thoughts on this, cop I do. I have a lot
of thoughts on this topic. Um. First of all, I
couldn't breastfeed, and that was hard to accept with my first.
With my second, I let it go easier. But I
thought that was just like this most like organic thing
on earth. But it wasn't in terms of classes. I
(03:58):
did one lamas or whatever it's called class and I quit.
I just couldn't do it, Like, I'm just not that person.
So you asked the same question of your mom. There
were some of the things that you heard. I heard
some really interesting ones that I've never actually heard before. Um,
someone set their joints felt wobbly after birth. Yeah, that's
(04:19):
the hormone relaxing, which is appropriately named so it's it
loosens up all your ligaments, which is great when you're
getting ready for childbirth because you want everything to be
all loosened up so baby can come out. But the
flip side, it can take months for that relax and
to leave the building, and in the meantime everything is
(04:40):
so wobbly, and plus you've stretched everything out quite a
bit while you're waiting for the relaxing to tighten back
up again. You need to support yourself at least some
of the time. With a belly band really takes the
pressure off. You're a big fan, love belly bandit. Okay,
so this is actually really I had no idea this
(05:02):
was a thing because I didn't have a C section.
One of my followers said that they were bleeding even
with a c section. Yep. So here's the thing. I
thought that a lot of moms are super surprised. But
the blood has accumulated during the nine months of pregnancy,
the blood and the tissue that was, you know, keeping
your baby nourished in your uterine lining. So the thing
(05:25):
is it only has one exit, only one way it
can leave, and that's through your vagina. So whether you
had a c section or you had a vaginal birth,
that blood's gotta go. You're going to have heavy bleeding
at first clots, that's the tissue. I remember the first
time I got out of bed after I had you
and there was this gush of blood because of course
(05:48):
when you're lying down, it all accumulates and then you
stand up, and so be prepared for that um If
you get home from the hospital and it started tapering
off and then you notice is starting again, one thing
to consider as your overdoing things and you need a
little bit more rest. But if it continues to be
or suddenly is very heavy or has a fell smell,
(06:11):
it just smell like a period. Otherwise, if you have
any kind of sudden heavy bleeding, than definitely call your
doctor right away or if you're still in the hospital,
called the nurse um. A lot of people said that
mommy brain was a thing. I know that's a thing
because I sometimes like literally have to sit there and
be like, okay, what is my name? Yep, yeah, so
(06:33):
it's a thing. I get it. I feel you grow solidarity. No,
for sure, you know, of course it's the hormones. Your
brain shrinks eight percent when you're pregnant, but it doesn't
bounce right back, so there's sleep deprivation. There's lots of
reasons why you're pouring your o J into your coffee
or your coffee into your cereal. Okay, um, what about
(06:55):
contractions while nursing in the first two weeks. These are
called after pains, but you have them whether or not
your breastfeed. You just feel them more intensely when you're breastfeeding.
That's because you're releasing oxytocin. And oxytocin is a hormone
that helps your uterus contract after you give birth, and
that's a good thing. You wanted to contract, but I mean,
(07:17):
you thought labor was over. These can be prettieddarn painful,
and you're definitely going to notice the more after your
second or third baby or subsequent babies, because just like
you do with kicks and racks and hicks, everything sort
of you know, as I like to say, has that
lived in Look your uterus, your uterine muscles, your abdominal muscles,
(07:38):
and so everything is more relaxed. So it can be
pretty painful. What about the pain of stitches? D I know,
I know, and I had a basiotomies because that's what
they did back in the day. Thankfully they don't do
those routinely anymore. But you know, if you tear at all,
you're going to have stitches. But the thing is, your
(08:00):
baby is like what eight nine pounds, seven eight pounds,
They're not going to pass through without leaving a mark,
and it's gonna hurt, right, But if you have stitches,
think about it this way. It's a wound like any
other and it's going to take time to heal um
and like any stitches you have, they're gonna take time
to heal. One thing you need to do is keep
(08:21):
your hands off of it because a lot of moms
want to touch to see how it's recovering. Don't do that.
Leave it be, use your peri bottle, and I know
which peribottle you like to recommend. It changes the game. Yeah,
so the whole idea is to keep the area clean
without rubbing. You don't want to do rubbing. Something else
(08:44):
you can try is a sits path, you know, or
putting cold pax in your maxipads, some of them postpartum
ND where it comes with cold pax. And then keegels.
You're not going to feel them as you do them
right away, but do them anyway because that's going to
help tone the area and bring blood flow back, the
(09:05):
good kind of blood flow back to your paraanegum um.
And also sit on a doughnut pillar. I cannot recommend
that more. I literally would not go anywhere without my doughnut.
It's saved me. Okay, what about all of those emotions?
So many people talk about this, it's a big thing. Yeah,
talk to me. So your emotions initially are going to
(09:29):
be all over the map. I mean you could feel
anything from just completely overwhelmed, um like who is this
stranger sniffing at my breast? You can also feel like
over the moon excited. So there are all kinds of
ways you can feel initially and we're going to talk
about that a little bit later, but just be prepared
to go with the flow at first. Okay, So, if
(10:03):
you're wondering what to expect after delivery, postpartum is one
of the most common trending topics in the what to
Expect community, and one we ask for your biggest surprises
of postpartum and your best tips for surviving and thriving.
You definitely were not shy about sharing. Now. A lot
(10:24):
of people talked not fondly about the uterine massages or
fundel massages um you get after delivery. Massage does sound
like fun and you know, restorative after you've just given birth,
and who doesn't like a good massage? But um, not
so much with this kind it can hurt like a mother. Emma,
(10:45):
do you remember that? Did I have one? Yeah? You
always have one. Sometimes moms only need one after after delivery,
and sometimes depending on their needs, they might need more UM.
And it's to help the u uterus contract and prove
an excessive leading. I think it's coming back to me.
I was so like freaked out after Sevy because I
(11:05):
was so like just disconnected, so I don't really remember anything. Well,
that's probably good in this case because my mom's report
as so painful. And you know, even if the nurse
is super nice, you know they're coming in and they're
pounding on your abdomen. It can hurt, and you're gonna
have one, whether you have vaginal birth or c section.
(11:28):
Now something else. I know you're super eager to talk
about the first poop out. Okay, So this I remember
because I was literally sitting on the toilet the whole
entire time texting my friend. I was like texting her,
I was like, it's coming. I'm scared. I'm scared. She's like,
(11:48):
just let it go. I'm like, yeah, I'm scared. It's
good to her and she's like, just let it go.
So and then afterwards looks like I did it and
it doesn't feel great. But I remember, like there's a
lot of blood. Yeah. Now, um. One thing that a
lot of moms mentioned about their first poop is that
the stool softener is your friend. Yea, So if they
(12:10):
don't give it to you, and they will, but just
in case they forget, make sure you ask for your
school softener. They're gonna give you some to take home
with you, but just in case, have some at home,
because the softer your school is going to be, clearly
the easier it's going to be to push out and
the less painful. Also, when you're on the potty, put
(12:30):
a stool under your feet and lean forward, one of
those called squatty potties. People like, yeah, I mean there's
a product for everything. Um, And then you can use
a little lubrication just like when your your baby's constipated,
so that it can slide out more easily. But even
more importantly, get up as soon as you can and
you're able, so that you can get literally things moving.
(12:54):
Drink lots and lots of water, and those hospital carps
are going to clog you up, so bring some healthy snacks,
some something whole grain, some fruit, dried fruit, and try
probiotics because those can definitely help and no harm. I
think for me it was the wipe being that was
the situation, like the worst part of it. So that's
(13:16):
why my little frieda baby Freedom Mom squirt bottle came
in hand. You scored it, squired and then dab a
little dabble, do you, yes, absolutely, and don't forget to
wipe from front to back. That's important, especially when you're
trying to prevent infection postpartum. Okay, now peeing because you
(13:36):
gotta pee. This is kind of ironic because you spent
most of your pregnancy peeing and then you give birth
and all of a sudden, like you feel like you
can't pee, and they are on top of you at
the hospital. Did you pee? Did you pee? How much
did you pee? They want you to pee into a
basin so they can measure your output. First of all,
(13:57):
pee lying down is really hard. If you had an epidural,
you had a casseter, so that's one thing um, and
if you had a c section, everything's going to take longer,
but it regardless. Your poor bladder has taken a beating
during labor and delivery, especially if you had a vaginal
on birth, it may feel paralyzed. You also have a
(14:17):
lot of swelling, and the swelling makes it harder to pee.
The old tricks apply. Run some water because that can
inspire you, run the faucet and also runs some water
over your pareneum because that can inspire you as well.
There are no secrets between you and your nurse, right, No,
(14:38):
They're going to see everything and here everything. So what
were your p experiences? Emma. Um, see, the p doesn't
really like stand out as much as the poo. It
can burn, Yeah, definitely burn. So straddle you pee a
drop and then it's like testing the water. So it's
like putting your feet in the pool. It's I don't know,
(14:59):
you gotta do with though. You don't want to like
implode with pa. Well, no, and they won't let you
leave the hospital unless you're peeing normally. And so again,
if you've had a catheter, they may have to reinsert
it just to get the recipe out. But yeah, work
on drinking lots of water. What about night sweats? Did
you have night sweats? Girlfriend? I had all day sweats. Honestly,
(15:22):
one mom said it was like someone dump buckets of
water on her multiple times a night and she had
to sleep on towels and changed the sheets through the night.
You have all of this accumulated fluid, which you may
be happy to get rid of, but maybe that's not
the number way you number one way you feel like
(15:43):
getting rid of it, but you're gonna sweat so um.
On kind of a related topic, women talked about being smelly. Okay,
so first of all, there's lots of sources of smelliness
after you give birth because there's the lochia. So that's
like having your period, but you can't wear a tampon,
(16:04):
so you've got this big pad full of blood. You
may be as soon as mal comes in any way,
covered in spit up. You know. The other thing is
that babies actually use their mom's scent as a honing device.
So you know, your sweat is your baby's like radar.
So because you're sweating a lot, and you have this
(16:26):
distinctive odor around your armpits and your breasts, and that's
why they tell you not to, you know, wash your
breast with soap, among other things, but the baby is
actually attracted to that scent. Another postpartum surprise is hair
loss for some moms anyway. You know, some moms expected
(16:46):
to have him right away and then they think, oh,
I you escape this entirely, and it really kicks in
close sort of two to four months postpartum, and it
gets really bad at four months. You know. Of course,
that's because all you hold onto your hair during pregnancy
annal with all those hormones, and then it's it's just
got to go. So another thing that mom's talked about
(17:09):
was accepting their postpartum bodies. Um, what were your thoughts
when you saw your postpartum body. I thought my TETs
looked amazing. Um, I thought that my stomach looked like
I've never seen it before. I've always been pretty like
fit and so like after you have a baby, I
(17:31):
was like, wait, whose stomach is this? But hey, it's mine.
I remember crying on the floor of a Victory's secret
pink dressing room because literally from that like mean girl quotes,
nothing fits me but swoopants. But that's so true, true everybody.
And like as much as I tell people embrace it,
embrace it, like I don't follow that advice, And um,
(17:54):
that's so it's important to admit. Yeah, but I think
other people look beautiful after the having the baby. I'm smart.
You think you're just harder on yourself because that's just
how we are operating. But for me, like when I
see a mom with stretch marks or her tommy, I'm like, oh,
you know, you just made a baby. That's amazing. But
if I see it myself, I'm like, it's hard to
(18:15):
embrace it. But I feel like it's so important. Making
babies hard work. Let's face it. You're creating a human
being from scratch, and you've got the badges that you
should wear proudly. And I feel like it's helping that
moms are sharing their bodies on Instagram. Maybe not so
much as the celebrity bodies because you know, maybe they
(18:38):
had a trainer, but real mom bodies are good for
others to see. Now you're linear, Negra, the black lines.
Still have it? You still have it. I love it.
I love mine. It's still because at this point, because
it fades, you know, months, you get it more after
the second one. Sorry, faded. It's like my tattoo on
(18:59):
my foot. It but it's still there, so I can
still see mine, like if I really really really focus.
It's like, you know, when you first have the first
positive pregnancy test and you can barely see the exact
posting online. You do you see wine? I see one?
Do you see a wine? But a lot of moms
(19:20):
are surprised to be so puffy after they deliver, right,
I was so puffy in my face. I looked like
a cabbage patch doll. They're so cute though, So that's because, well,
first of all, you had epidurals both times, and they
pump you full of fluids. You can look super swollen
after you leave the hospital. Now, you just got to
(19:42):
remember that if there's excessive swelling once you get home,
and especially if it's above the near in places like
you wouldn't normally expect swelling, then definitely call your doctor.
But something I want to say about pregnancy weaking and
how long it takes to lose it. I mean, we've
said this before, you've heard this before, but it takes
nine months to gain it, and you've got to give
(20:03):
yourself at least that long to lose it. Oh at least.
I mean, you went right to get some new sweats, right,
because I think maybe the ones you brought were too
tight or yeah, I was in it to win it,
you know, I was committed to the sweats. With the
second one, I ordered extra large men's sweatpants because I
was wearing a diaper. I don't need anything tight at
that point. I need something loose. And you wanted high waisted,
(20:27):
especially if you had a C section, because I was
gonna put pressure on the scar. But lounge pants, you
need the tie. You need the tie. Wi yeah, yeah, yeah.
So um. Many moms reported loving their new boobs. We
already heard that you loved yours, and then a lot
of them said they love their stretch marks. I love
when people on Instagram poster stretch marks and add like
(20:49):
glitter to it. Oh so cute. What were some of
the things that mom's told you were the most helpful
or that you found the most helpful postpartum? That freed
(21:12):
the baby, That freed the baby. Score bottle saved me
because it's got that curved head and it really gets
in there, and plus you can use it afterwards as
like a bi day, So there's um. Some practical things
that moms on Instagram were all about. Breast gel pads
really smart, the ones that you can cool and warm.
Disposable underwear. That's a must because the last thing you
(21:35):
want to do is like scrub panties that have blood
and after birth, when you're dealing with any born um
help really important. Having someone cook meals for you, like
a family member, family support. You know a lot of
things people love having, Like the gift is food delivery.
Food delivery service. Maybe someone gives it to you for
(21:56):
a week so you don't have to worry about breakfast, lunch,
or dinner. Just gus on your grown family. Also the
gift of being able to rest, having somebody watch the baby,
let you nap off and on a few times a day.
My two picks are the freedom the underwear and they
donut Donut And I feel like many moms were all
about the nipple butter. Yes, yeah, but I feel it
(22:20):
has to be said that some moms really wanted their
space and felt COVID was a blessing in disguise. I'm
sure our silver lining because you didn't have a thousand
people hovering over you gives you some uninterrupted bonding time. Now,
one thing I have to say is that you've got
to listen to your body, because your body is going
(22:41):
to tell you when it's time to slow down. It's
going to tell you if something's not quite normal. Because
most of the symptoms you're gonna get postpartum are normal,
the vast majority are normal. But they can be super uncomfortable,
they can be super annoying. But when you have a
doubt about symptom, I can't emphasize this enough. This is
(23:02):
the first time you're gonna be using your mom gut
if you feel something's wrong, if the bleeding seems too excessive.
If you are in a lot of pain, if you
have a blood pressure cuff and you notice your blood
pressure is elevator, you have a racing heartbeat, trouble breathing,
chest pain, leg pain, lots of excessive swelling, make sure
(23:23):
you call the doctor right away. And I want to
add something really fast. I think that you know, especially
you mom Um, you're very like you don't want to
bother anybody, but I feel like it's important in this situation,
Like for me, Um, I'm sure if you guys follow me,
you know the time I saved lenox is life because
I had mom intuition. If I hadn't bugged the doctor
(23:44):
on a Sunday, Lenox wouldn't be here today. And the
same thing goes for your own health. And I think
it's very important to always listen to that little voice
in your head, even if it's wrong, because what if
it is right exactly And even if that doctors initially
or the nurse initially says, oh, that's just that comes
(24:04):
with postpartum. Yeah, don't sweat it. But if you are
sure something is not right, then get it checked out.
That's what they said to me at first. With Box,
you're like, oh, it's some fine, it's fine. I'm like, no,
it's not. Let me send you a picture. And that's
when they said get to the hospital now. So I'm
saying you always trust that exactly. So now, emotionally, it's
(24:26):
also good to know what to expect. Almost every mom
has some form of baby blues, right, I mean, I'm
sure you even had a little bit with Lennox. I
definitely did with you. I was weepy, but I was overwhelmed.
It was like normal crash of hormones. But there's a
big difference between baby blues and other kinds of mood disorders.
(24:47):
So baby blues fade within two weeks. They usually come
on right away if you have feelings and I know
you want to speak to this as well, but if
you have feelings of anxiety, depression, rage, obsessive or scary thoughts,
flashbacks to a traumatic delivery, even a fear that you
(25:07):
might hurt yourself or your baby, And if those fears
come on any time after delivery, anytime in the first
year even or sometimes it can come on after you
wean your baby. And if they persist, or if they're
really scary right from the start, you're not able to function,
You're not able to love on your baby or get
(25:28):
sleep or food. Get checked out immediately, because postpartum mood
disorders are real. Am you want to weigh in well? Also,
I said, I don't want you to feel embarrassed. Um,
I know that you know I've had postparmed depression. And yes,
it's hard to ask for help. So I just think
it's important to overcome the sticks stigma because you know,
(25:50):
it should be completely normal as it is. It should
not have a stigma because you know it happens to
more people than they would probably like to admit. At
least one in eight women have some kind of postpartum
mood disorder. Those are the ones who report it, so
imagine what the true number is. It's probably far higher.
(26:11):
So and it can take any form. If you don't
feel like yourself, and if it's more than just being
overtired sleep deprivation hormones, please please please check in with
the doctor right away. Um, reach out for that help
that you need. Someone actually on my Instagram said that
they had it during delivery, before the baby is even born,
they started getting depression. Well, you're gonna have it during pregnancy,
(26:34):
so and that puts you at higher risk postpartum. So
anytime you feel it during pregnancy postpartum, even if you
have a history before you're pregnant, make sure you let
your doctor know. So, Emma, do you have any other
advice you want to give to postpartum moms? I do coffee, coffee,
coffee and coffee. But walk before you run, you know,
(26:58):
take your time. It's new, it's beautiful, but it's also scary,
and it's unknown territory. And here's the thing. Your mind
might not be able to wrap its head around it,
but your body knows what to do, and we'll take
the reins. Amen. That's beautiful. Well, you know my advice
(27:19):
by now, stop and smell the babies, push pause, and
don't forget to take care of yourself. That's actually one
of the best ways you can take care of your baby.
So enjoy the baby in your postpartum And we love you,
love you athletics Mommy and Heidi because it's because they're great.
(27:44):
They're just really nice to me. You really love me.
What does mommy do for work? Jim podcast and makes
it really weird and cool? You want to say hi,
huh oh baby, belove my Baby below. I need you,
(28:06):
Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening. Remember I'm
always here for you. What to Expect is always here
for you. We're all in this together. For more on
what you heard on today's episode, visit what to Expect
dot com slash podcasts. You can also check out What
to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect the First Year,
(28:28):
and the What to Expect app. And we want to
hear from you. Connect with us on our community message
board or on our social media. You can find me
at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma bing wt E,
and of course at What to Expect. Baby Love is
performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect is a production
(28:51):
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Don't You Stay, Knija Knejo, Baby Love, Baby Lo
Oh baby, my baby, belof I need you, Oh how
I need you? What do you you expect? As a production
of I Heart Radio, I'm your host, Heiny Murkoff, and
I'm a mom on a mission, a mission to help
you know what to expect every step of the way. Congratulations,
(00:26):
The heavy lift of pregnancy and the possibly even heavier
lift of labor and delivery is over and now comes
the easy lift. Instead of carting around a watermelon sized belly,
you get to snuggle your tiny bundle of joy and
savor that fresh baby sweetness and e l c figure
(00:48):
out how to pee again, why your feet are so
puffy and why that nurse keeps coming into your room
pumping on your poor aching belly and calling it uterine massage.
Even if you sail through pregnancy and have the easiest
labor and delivery on record, and especially if you didn't,
(01:08):
your body has been stretched and pushed to the max
and it needs a chance to recover. Let's face it,
giving birth comes with more than a baby. It comes
with a whole lot of new symptoms and new questions,
wondering what you can expect when you're all finished expecting. Today,
(01:28):
M and I are here to deliver the good, the bad,
and the very unexpected about your postpartum recovery, whether you're
still in the hospital, trying to rest up at home,
or just trying to plan ahead so you'll be ahead
of the game. We've got your postpartum questions covered, so
you know what to expect every step of the way.
(01:51):
So as we all know by now, I didn't have
a clue of what to expect until I wrote What
to Expect, so everything was the rise. Now, Emma, what
would you say surprise you most about postpartum? What were
the physical symptoms that threw you for a loop? Okay,
so I remember the first time I got out of bed,
(02:13):
I looked in the mirror and I was like, holy shit,
my boobs look amazing. In my entire life, they had
never looked this good. I mean, I guess maybe they hurt,
but I didn't even care. I was like wow. Emotionally,
with Lennox, I was like on euphoria. It was amazing.
(02:34):
I was happy. I was like wow, for the first
time in my life. I didn't use my phone, but
with Sevy I was. I had horrible postparmed depression, so
I didn't really even like him. Um, so I didn't
really want to be around him. And I know that's
hard to say. Now I can say it like and
be like, you know, this is my journey. But at first,
obviously it's really hard to accept. But with Lennox it
(02:55):
was completely different, and I was like, I got this.
I think the only thing for me. I thought that
right away my belly would be gone and it wasn't.
And I remember I was like, wait a second, I
have these amazing boobs, but I also look pregnant. So
(03:16):
so when I asked my Facebook moms what surprised them
most about postpartum, one thing that I did here over
and over again was, you know, I didn't expect breastfeeding
to be that hard. I thought it was a natural process.
It's just kind of come naturally. And so many moms
said they regretted not taking a class or reading up
(03:38):
in advance, because then they felt completely unprepared. You have
thoughts on this, cop I do. I have a lot
of thoughts on this topic. Um. First of all, I
couldn't breastfeed, and that was hard to accept with my first.
With my second, I let it go easier. But I
thought that was just like this most like organic thing
on earth. But it wasn't in terms of classes. I
(03:58):
did one lamas or whatever it's called class and I quit.
I just couldn't do it, Like, I'm just not that person.
So you asked the same question of your mom. There
were some of the things that you heard. I heard
some really interesting ones that I've never actually heard before. Um,
someone set their joints felt wobbly after birth. Yeah, that's
(04:19):
the hormone relaxing, which is appropriately named so it's it
loosens up all your ligaments, which is great when you're
getting ready for childbirth because you want everything to be
all loosened up so baby can come out. But the
flip side, it can take months for that relax and
to leave the building, and in the meantime everything is
(04:40):
so wobbly, and plus you've stretched everything out quite a
bit while you're waiting for the relaxing to tighten back
up again. You need to support yourself at least some
of the time. With a belly band really takes the
pressure off. You're a big fan, love belly bandit. Okay,
so this is actually really I had no idea this
(05:02):
was a thing because I didn't have a C section.
One of my followers said that they were bleeding even
with a c section. Yep. So here's the thing. I
thought that a lot of moms are super surprised. But
the blood has accumulated during the nine months of pregnancy,
the blood and the tissue that was, you know, keeping
your baby nourished in your uterine lining. So the thing
(05:25):
is it only has one exit, only one way it
can leave, and that's through your vagina. So whether you
had a c section or you had a vaginal birth,
that blood's gotta go. You're going to have heavy bleeding
at first clots, that's the tissue. I remember the first
time I got out of bed after I had you
and there was this gush of blood because of course
(05:48):
when you're lying down, it all accumulates and then you
stand up, and so be prepared for that um If
you get home from the hospital and it started tapering
off and then you notice is starting again, one thing
to consider as your overdoing things and you need a
little bit more rest. But if it continues to be
or suddenly is very heavy or has a fell smell,
(06:11):
it just smell like a period. Otherwise, if you have
any kind of sudden heavy bleeding, than definitely call your
doctor right away or if you're still in the hospital,
called the nurse um. A lot of people said that
mommy brain was a thing. I know that's a thing
because I sometimes like literally have to sit there and
be like, okay, what is my name? Yep, yeah, so
(06:33):
it's a thing. I get it. I feel you grow solidarity. No,
for sure, you know, of course it's the hormones. Your
brain shrinks eight percent when you're pregnant, but it doesn't
bounce right back, so there's sleep deprivation. There's lots of
reasons why you're pouring your o J into your coffee
or your coffee into your cereal. Okay, um, what about
(06:55):
contractions while nursing in the first two weeks. These are
called after pains, but you have them whether or not
your breastfeed. You just feel them more intensely when you're breastfeeding.
That's because you're releasing oxytocin. And oxytocin is a hormone
that helps your uterus contract after you give birth, and
that's a good thing. You wanted to contract, but I mean,
(07:17):
you thought labor was over. These can be prettieddarn painful,
and you're definitely going to notice the more after your
second or third baby or subsequent babies, because just like
you do with kicks and racks and hicks, everything sort
of you know, as I like to say, has that
lived in Look your uterus, your uterine muscles, your abdominal muscles,
(07:38):
and so everything is more relaxed. So it can be
pretty painful. What about the pain of stitches? D I know,
I know, and I had a basiotomies because that's what
they did back in the day. Thankfully they don't do
those routinely anymore. But you know, if you tear at all,
you're going to have stitches. But the thing is, your
(08:00):
baby is like what eight nine pounds, seven eight pounds,
They're not going to pass through without leaving a mark,
and it's gonna hurt, right, But if you have stitches,
think about it this way. It's a wound like any
other and it's going to take time to heal um
and like any stitches you have, they're gonna take time
to heal. One thing you need to do is keep
(08:21):
your hands off of it because a lot of moms
want to touch to see how it's recovering. Don't do that.
Leave it be, use your peri bottle, and I know
which peribottle you like to recommend. It changes the game. Yeah,
so the whole idea is to keep the area clean
without rubbing. You don't want to do rubbing. Something else
(08:44):
you can try is a sits path, you know, or
putting cold pax in your maxipads, some of them postpartum
ND where it comes with cold pax. And then keegels.
You're not going to feel them as you do them
right away, but do them anyway because that's going to
help tone the area and bring blood flow back, the
(09:05):
good kind of blood flow back to your paraanegum um.
And also sit on a doughnut pillar. I cannot recommend
that more. I literally would not go anywhere without my doughnut.
It's saved me. Okay, what about all of those emotions?
So many people talk about this, it's a big thing. Yeah,
talk to me. So your emotions initially are going to
(09:29):
be all over the map. I mean you could feel
anything from just completely overwhelmed, um like who is this
stranger sniffing at my breast? You can also feel like
over the moon excited. So there are all kinds of
ways you can feel initially and we're going to talk
about that a little bit later, but just be prepared
to go with the flow at first. Okay, So, if
(10:03):
you're wondering what to expect after delivery, postpartum is one
of the most common trending topics in the what to
Expect community, and one we ask for your biggest surprises
of postpartum and your best tips for surviving and thriving.
You definitely were not shy about sharing. Now. A lot
(10:24):
of people talked not fondly about the uterine massages or
fundel massages um you get after delivery. Massage does sound
like fun and you know, restorative after you've just given birth,
and who doesn't like a good massage? But um, not
so much with this kind it can hurt like a mother. Emma,
(10:45):
do you remember that? Did I have one? Yeah? You
always have one. Sometimes moms only need one after after delivery,
and sometimes depending on their needs, they might need more UM.
And it's to help the u uterus contract and prove
an excessive leading. I think it's coming back to me.
I was so like freaked out after Sevy because I
(11:05):
was so like just disconnected, so I don't really remember anything. Well,
that's probably good in this case because my mom's report
as so painful. And you know, even if the nurse
is super nice, you know they're coming in and they're
pounding on your abdomen. It can hurt, and you're gonna
have one, whether you have vaginal birth or c section.
(11:28):
Now something else. I know you're super eager to talk
about the first poop out. Okay, So this I remember
because I was literally sitting on the toilet the whole
entire time texting my friend. I was like texting her,
I was like, it's coming. I'm scared. I'm scared. She's like,
(11:48):
just let it go. I'm like, yeah, I'm scared. It's
good to her and she's like, just let it go.
So and then afterwards looks like I did it and
it doesn't feel great. But I remember, like there's a
lot of blood. Yeah. Now, um. One thing that a
lot of moms mentioned about their first poop is that
the stool softener is your friend. Yea, So if they
(12:10):
don't give it to you, and they will, but just
in case they forget, make sure you ask for your
school softener. They're gonna give you some to take home
with you, but just in case, have some at home,
because the softer your school is going to be, clearly
the easier it's going to be to push out and
the less painful. Also, when you're on the potty, put
(12:30):
a stool under your feet and lean forward, one of
those called squatty potties. People like, yeah, I mean there's
a product for everything. Um, And then you can use
a little lubrication just like when your your baby's constipated,
so that it can slide out more easily. But even
more importantly, get up as soon as you can and
you're able, so that you can get literally things moving.
(12:54):
Drink lots and lots of water, and those hospital carps
are going to clog you up, so bring some healthy snacks,
some something whole grain, some fruit, dried fruit, and try
probiotics because those can definitely help and no harm. I
think for me it was the wipe being that was
the situation, like the worst part of it. So that's
(13:16):
why my little frieda baby Freedom Mom squirt bottle came
in hand. You scored it, squired and then dab a
little dabble, do you, yes, absolutely, and don't forget to
wipe from front to back. That's important, especially when you're
trying to prevent infection postpartum. Okay, now peeing because you
(13:36):
gotta pee. This is kind of ironic because you spent
most of your pregnancy peeing and then you give birth
and all of a sudden, like you feel like you
can't pee, and they are on top of you at
the hospital. Did you pee? Did you pee? How much
did you pee? They want you to pee into a
basin so they can measure your output. First of all,
(13:57):
pee lying down is really hard. If you had an epidural,
you had a casseter, so that's one thing um, and
if you had a c section, everything's going to take longer,
but it regardless. Your poor bladder has taken a beating
during labor and delivery, especially if you had a vaginal
on birth, it may feel paralyzed. You also have a
(14:17):
lot of swelling, and the swelling makes it harder to pee.
The old tricks apply. Run some water because that can
inspire you, run the faucet and also runs some water
over your pareneum because that can inspire you as well.
There are no secrets between you and your nurse, right, No,
(14:38):
They're going to see everything and here everything. So what
were your p experiences? Emma. Um, see, the p doesn't
really like stand out as much as the poo. It
can burn, Yeah, definitely burn. So straddle you pee a
drop and then it's like testing the water. So it's
like putting your feet in the pool. It's I don't know,
(14:59):
you gotta do with though. You don't want to like
implode with pa. Well, no, and they won't let you
leave the hospital unless you're peeing normally. And so again,
if you've had a catheter, they may have to reinsert
it just to get the recipe out. But yeah, work
on drinking lots of water. What about night sweats? Did
you have night sweats? Girlfriend? I had all day sweats. Honestly,
(15:22):
one mom said it was like someone dump buckets of
water on her multiple times a night and she had
to sleep on towels and changed the sheets through the night.
You have all of this accumulated fluid, which you may
be happy to get rid of, but maybe that's not
the number way you number one way you feel like
(15:43):
getting rid of it, but you're gonna sweat so um.
On kind of a related topic, women talked about being smelly. Okay,
so first of all, there's lots of sources of smelliness
after you give birth because there's the lochia. So that's
like having your period, but you can't wear a tampon,
(16:04):
so you've got this big pad full of blood. You
may be as soon as mal comes in any way,
covered in spit up. You know. The other thing is
that babies actually use their mom's scent as a honing device.
So you know, your sweat is your baby's like radar.
So because you're sweating a lot, and you have this
(16:26):
distinctive odor around your armpits and your breasts, and that's
why they tell you not to, you know, wash your
breast with soap, among other things, but the baby is
actually attracted to that scent. Another postpartum surprise is hair
loss for some moms anyway. You know, some moms expected
(16:46):
to have him right away and then they think, oh,
I you escape this entirely, and it really kicks in
close sort of two to four months postpartum, and it
gets really bad at four months. You know. Of course,
that's because all you hold onto your hair during pregnancy
annal with all those hormones, and then it's it's just
got to go. So another thing that mom's talked about
(17:09):
was accepting their postpartum bodies. Um, what were your thoughts
when you saw your postpartum body. I thought my TETs
looked amazing. Um, I thought that my stomach looked like
I've never seen it before. I've always been pretty like
fit and so like after you have a baby, I
(17:31):
was like, wait, whose stomach is this? But hey, it's mine.
I remember crying on the floor of a Victory's secret
pink dressing room because literally from that like mean girl quotes,
nothing fits me but swoopants. But that's so true, true everybody.
And like as much as I tell people embrace it,
embrace it, like I don't follow that advice, And um,
(17:54):
that's so it's important to admit. Yeah, but I think
other people look beautiful after the having the baby. I'm smart.
You think you're just harder on yourself because that's just
how we are operating. But for me, like when I
see a mom with stretch marks or her tommy, I'm like, oh,
you know, you just made a baby. That's amazing. But
if I see it myself, I'm like, it's hard to
(18:15):
embrace it. But I feel like it's so important. Making
babies hard work. Let's face it. You're creating a human
being from scratch, and you've got the badges that you
should wear proudly. And I feel like it's helping that
moms are sharing their bodies on Instagram. Maybe not so
much as the celebrity bodies because you know, maybe they
(18:38):
had a trainer, but real mom bodies are good for
others to see. Now you're linear, Negra, the black lines.
Still have it? You still have it. I love it.
I love mine. It's still because at this point, because
it fades, you know, months, you get it more after
the second one. Sorry, faded. It's like my tattoo on
(18:59):
my foot. It but it's still there, so I can
still see mine, like if I really really really focus.
It's like, you know, when you first have the first
positive pregnancy test and you can barely see the exact
posting online. You do you see wine? I see one?
Do you see a wine? But a lot of moms
(19:20):
are surprised to be so puffy after they deliver, right,
I was so puffy in my face. I looked like
a cabbage patch doll. They're so cute though, So that's because, well,
first of all, you had epidurals both times, and they
pump you full of fluids. You can look super swollen
after you leave the hospital. Now, you just got to
(19:42):
remember that if there's excessive swelling once you get home,
and especially if it's above the near in places like
you wouldn't normally expect swelling, then definitely call your doctor.
But something I want to say about pregnancy weaking and
how long it takes to lose it. I mean, we've
said this before, you've heard this before, but it takes
nine months to gain it, and you've got to give
(20:03):
yourself at least that long to lose it. Oh at least.
I mean, you went right to get some new sweats, right,
because I think maybe the ones you brought were too
tight or yeah, I was in it to win it,
you know, I was committed to the sweats. With the
second one, I ordered extra large men's sweatpants because I
was wearing a diaper. I don't need anything tight at
that point. I need something loose. And you wanted high waisted,
(20:27):
especially if you had a C section, because I was
gonna put pressure on the scar. But lounge pants, you
need the tie. You need the tie. Wi yeah, yeah, yeah.
So um. Many moms reported loving their new boobs. We
already heard that you loved yours, and then a lot
of them said they love their stretch marks. I love
when people on Instagram poster stretch marks and add like
(20:49):
glitter to it. Oh so cute. What were some of
the things that mom's told you were the most helpful
or that you found the most helpful postpartum? That freed
(21:12):
the baby, That freed the baby. Score bottle saved me
because it's got that curved head and it really gets
in there, and plus you can use it afterwards as
like a bi day, So there's um. Some practical things
that moms on Instagram were all about. Breast gel pads
really smart, the ones that you can cool and warm.
Disposable underwear. That's a must because the last thing you
(21:35):
want to do is like scrub panties that have blood
and after birth, when you're dealing with any born um
help really important. Having someone cook meals for you, like
a family member, family support. You know a lot of
things people love having, Like the gift is food delivery.
Food delivery service. Maybe someone gives it to you for
(21:56):
a week so you don't have to worry about breakfast, lunch,
or dinner. Just gus on your grown family. Also the
gift of being able to rest, having somebody watch the baby,
let you nap off and on a few times a day.
My two picks are the freedom the underwear and they
donut Donut And I feel like many moms were all
about the nipple butter. Yes, yeah, but I feel it
(22:20):
has to be said that some moms really wanted their
space and felt COVID was a blessing in disguise. I'm
sure our silver lining because you didn't have a thousand
people hovering over you gives you some uninterrupted bonding time. Now,
one thing I have to say is that you've got
to listen to your body, because your body is going
(22:41):
to tell you when it's time to slow down. It's
going to tell you if something's not quite normal. Because
most of the symptoms you're gonna get postpartum are normal,
the vast majority are normal. But they can be super uncomfortable,
they can be super annoying. But when you have a
doubt about symptom, I can't emphasize this enough. This is
(23:02):
the first time you're gonna be using your mom gut
if you feel something's wrong, if the bleeding seems too excessive.
If you are in a lot of pain, if you
have a blood pressure cuff and you notice your blood
pressure is elevator, you have a racing heartbeat, trouble breathing,
chest pain, leg pain, lots of excessive swelling, make sure
(23:23):
you call the doctor right away. And I want to
add something really fast. I think that you know, especially
you mom Um, you're very like you don't want to
bother anybody, but I feel like it's important in this situation,
Like for me, Um, I'm sure if you guys follow me,
you know the time I saved lenox is life because
I had mom intuition. If I hadn't bugged the doctor
(23:44):
on a Sunday, Lenox wouldn't be here today. And the
same thing goes for your own health. And I think
it's very important to always listen to that little voice
in your head, even if it's wrong, because what if
it is right exactly And even if that doctors initially
or the nurse initially says, oh, that's just that comes
(24:04):
with postpartum. Yeah, don't sweat it. But if you are
sure something is not right, then get it checked out.
That's what they said to me at first. With Box,
you're like, oh, it's some fine, it's fine. I'm like, no,
it's not. Let me send you a picture. And that's
when they said get to the hospital now. So I'm
saying you always trust that exactly. So now, emotionally, it's
(24:26):
also good to know what to expect. Almost every mom
has some form of baby blues, right, I mean, I'm
sure you even had a little bit with Lennox. I
definitely did with you. I was weepy, but I was overwhelmed.
It was like normal crash of hormones. But there's a
big difference between baby blues and other kinds of mood disorders.
(24:47):
So baby blues fade within two weeks. They usually come
on right away if you have feelings and I know
you want to speak to this as well, but if
you have feelings of anxiety, depression, rage, obsessive or scary thoughts,
flashbacks to a traumatic delivery, even a fear that you
(25:07):
might hurt yourself or your baby, And if those fears
come on any time after delivery, anytime in the first
year even or sometimes it can come on after you
wean your baby. And if they persist, or if they're
really scary right from the start, you're not able to function,
You're not able to love on your baby or get
(25:28):
sleep or food. Get checked out immediately, because postpartum mood
disorders are real. Am you want to weigh in well? Also,
I said, I don't want you to feel embarrassed. Um,
I know that you know I've had postparmed depression. And yes,
it's hard to ask for help. So I just think
it's important to overcome the sticks stigma because you know,
(25:50):
it should be completely normal as it is. It should
not have a stigma because you know it happens to
more people than they would probably like to admit. At
least one in eight women have some kind of postpartum
mood disorder. Those are the ones who report it, so
imagine what the true number is. It's probably far higher.
(26:11):
So and it can take any form. If you don't
feel like yourself, and if it's more than just being
overtired sleep deprivation hormones, please please please check in with
the doctor right away. Um, reach out for that help
that you need. Someone actually on my Instagram said that
they had it during delivery, before the baby is even born,
they started getting depression. Well, you're gonna have it during pregnancy,
(26:34):
so and that puts you at higher risk postpartum. So
anytime you feel it during pregnancy postpartum, even if you
have a history before you're pregnant, make sure you let
your doctor know. So, Emma, do you have any other
advice you want to give to postpartum moms? I do coffee, coffee,
coffee and coffee. But walk before you run, you know,
(26:58):
take your time. It's new, it's beautiful, but it's also scary,
and it's unknown territory. And here's the thing. Your mind
might not be able to wrap its head around it,
but your body knows what to do, and we'll take
the reins. Amen. That's beautiful. Well, you know my advice
(27:19):
by now, stop and smell the babies, push pause, and
don't forget to take care of yourself. That's actually one
of the best ways you can take care of your baby.
So enjoy the baby in your postpartum And we love you,
love you athletics Mommy and Heidi because it's because they're great.
(27:44):
They're just really nice to me. You really love me.
What does mommy do for work? Jim podcast and makes
it really weird and cool? You want to say hi,
huh oh baby, belove my Baby below. I need you,
(28:06):
Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening. Remember I'm
always here for you. What to Expect is always here
for you. We're all in this together. For more on
what you heard on today's episode, visit what to Expect
dot com slash podcasts. You can also check out What
to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect the First Year,
(28:28):
and the What to Expect app. And we want to
hear from you. Connect with us on our community message
board or on our social media. You can find me
at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma bing wt E,
and of course at What to Expect. Baby Love is
performed by Riley Peterer. What to Expect is a production
(28:51):
of I Heart Radio. From more shows from I Heart
Radio check out the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever. Listen to your favorite shows in my Arms Right,
Don't You Stay, Knija Knejo, Baby Love, Baby Lo
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