June 9, 2021 • 26 mins
Pregnancy comes with a lot of questions, including some that may feel super personal. Not to worry: that's completely normal! This week, Heidi and Emma give unfiltered answers to real questions from What to Expect community moms — and nothing is off limits. From pregnancy sex to what goes on during labor and delivery to all-things vagina care, get clarity on your top "TMI" pregnancy questions by listening to this helpful conversation.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who baby a baby. I need you, Oh, hell, I
need you What to Expect as a production of I
Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Mrko, and I'm a
mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
(00:21):
what to expect every step of the way. So if
you know me, you know there's nothing that is tm
I in my book, at least when it comes to
mom's sharing their symptoms or concerns. Today we are devoting
the entire episode of What to Expect podcast on t
(00:41):
m I symptoms that you have shared and here to
help me do that is Emma informally known as the
Queen of t m I across all social media because
there is nothing she hasn't shared or wouldn't share. And Sarah,
who is our fearless What to Expect community leader. Hey Emma,
Hey Sarah. Hi, I feel like I would like totally
(01:05):
post a picture of like my nipple when it was
falling off when I was pumping. I'm like that intense
with t m I. Well, I think moms do often
send in a lot of pictures or share pictures to
say like, Hey, is this normal? Is this weird? And
you know, sometimes you just got to do that. Yeah,
when when someone else is experiencing the same thing. But
(01:26):
t m I, it makes you feel a little better,
a little solidarity, little kumbay ya t m I sharing.
I love it. It's getting around the campfire. Yes. So,
speaking of sharing, when we had our pregnancy Q and
A episode, Heidi, we had a ton of questions and
we didn't have enough for one episode, so we needed
a follow up, and specifically with questions that you know,
(01:47):
maybe don't seem like people want to share with everyone,
or they might think or t m I and your
mission for what to expect has always been to have
a supportive and safe environment, and I think because of that,
our moms in our community have this high level of
support and they are comfortable with sharing. There are questions
that they might not want to talk to their doctor
(02:09):
about or their friends. And I think Heidi and Emma,
you both see this a lot across your social pages
as well. I've gotten a whole lot. Mine's more sex
oriented t m I. On my page, Sharing is caring.
So we asked our community what their most t m
I questions and concerns are, and man, they really came
(02:29):
through for us. So, just like in the Q and
A episode, where you answered some help me, Heidi in
a hurry questions. I'm going to go through the list, Heidi,
Emma jump in. We're asking is this normal? Kind of
like a true or false thing. So the first one
was leaky boobs at week one, So not everyone starts
leaking coloss room, but some women do and can start
(02:53):
it leaking at about twenty weeks or so, and some
women never do the thing. Remember, though, it has nothing
to do with how much milk you're ultimately going to produce,
so keep that in mind. Oh that's good to know.
I think it was just one of those weird things
where I was like, this is interesting. Let's start using
(03:15):
breast pads in advance and see how that cos. So
you did have that, Sarah? I did. Yeah. Yeah, I
mean it wasn't anything crazy. It was just a little bit,
but it was just kind of like this, all right, Well,
you know, things are working, things are moving along, roll
with it. Yeah, but the good news is it's working anyway,
even if you don't notice any leaking. And in fact,
when I gave birth, I couldn't even squeeze any of
(03:38):
it out, but Emma managed to. Yet, Oh I have
so many things I could say, I don't know, I'm
gonna stop though. We'll get to that later. We'll get
done later, right, Okay. So another question was skin tags
in the Perry area. Okay, so let's back up. You
can get skin tags anywhere when you're pregnant. It's all
those extra hormones, thank you hormone owns um. But you're
(04:01):
especially likely to be blessed with them in areas that
are high friction, so under your arms, under your breast,
and also in your vaginal area. They're definitely harmless. They
can be removed, so yeah, run them by your doctor,
your midwife if you're concerned about them, and if they're uncomfortable,
(04:21):
they can always be removed. Another question was hair growth
on your belly. Is that normal? So pregnant bellies are
fuzzy bellies. You can also find hair sprouting in other
places you would not expect it, like your lips, your breasts,
your timmy tin tin. You know what's interesting is that
(04:42):
like the only place I had hair on my body
when I was pregnant, I had like fuzz on my belly,
but everywhere else it was so spares, like normally, like
I shaved my legs, but when I was pregnant, I
barely got hair into my arms. I barely got hair
on my legs. Yeah that's actually pretty common. Yeah, I
feel like hair wasn't really a thing for me, but
just you know, like other things that you have on
(05:02):
your stomach, like the line and all that other stuff
that kind of I love the line mine still there.
I was pretty darned fuzzy, I have to say. But
it is hair. Hair today, gone to mark because you'll
you'll shed it after your pregnancy. I feel like that's comforting.
A lot of the stuff that happens during pregnancy, it
just goes away over time, like either right away or
a little bit over time. It's not always permanent. Oh, Heidi,
(05:25):
this one came from your Facebook page. She said, sharp
nipple pain. She has it so bad that it stings
in the shower and even a little breeze is unbearable.
So yeah, first time mester nipple pain is real. It
can be excruciating. In fact, I remember like it was
just yesterday. I mean I couldn't put on a bra
(05:46):
without it being agonizing. And it should taper off by
the second trimester. Of course. If you have any concerns,
check with your doctor, but yeah, be gentle. Yes, okay.
Another question was and it she anus and I think
we're talking about hemorrhoids here, babe, Oh my gosh, hemorrhoids
(06:06):
ahoy for me on both times. Yeah, the worst. That's
definitely the hemorrhoids. You can try ice packs and which
hazel pads? Check with your doctor about other options, Gentle?
Does it when wiping? Pat? Pat? Pat? Yeah? But those
witch hazel pads? Mom, I think you recommend them to me.
They were really great. Who makes them? Talks talks? Thank you? Yeah,
(06:30):
I always keep them at my house because those hemorrhoids
are forever. I always associate that smell with just becoming
a new mom, like well forever because that was my
first introduction to Okay, so another good question. Can you
use a vibrator while you're pregnant? Um? Yes, please just
keep it clean. Yes. I never used a vibrator when
(06:52):
I was pregnant. I like the real thing for pregnancy
for me personally, but you know, you go girl. Okay.
Another question we had was lactating during sex normal? Oh yeah,
so breasts can definitely leak during sex um, both during
pregnancy and postpartum. Okay, so we can't get personal without
(07:12):
talking about vaginas. And we had a lot of questions.
So I'm going to read what our moms sent in,
and the first one, I think a lot of moms.
You know you you want things to be looking nice.
So she said, I want to wax my badge. Can
I do that or at least make her nice? Is
that good or bad? Mom? You take this and then
I have a comment. Okay, I say, your age, your business,
(07:37):
whatever makes you happy. I mean, of course, ironically you
can't see down there, but if you are going to
go get wax, just make sure you choose an esthetician
who has experienced with pregnancy. Sensitive skin is going to
be extra extra gentle because you can get far more
irritated your Your skin is is super super sensitive in
(07:58):
all areas, but especially that area when you're pregnant. And
I would not try waxing at home simply because you're
not gonna be able to see what you're doing and
you could hurt yourself. I remember when I was pregnant
with Lennox. You got me a special day to get
waxed um in my business, and I have never felt
(08:19):
pain like that in my life because I was pregnant.
So that was the first and only time I got
waxed during pregnancy. But a lot of people do it
and they love it, but for me, I was like no.
I somehow managed to shave, but I mainly was just
worried about the delivery and like a bunch of people
seeing what was going on there. I shaved like the
(08:40):
night before, which was before when to labor. I had
no idea I was going to go into labor. But
I shaved. And then my mom I think she filmed
my birth and I saw my vagina. I was like,
oh wow, I really missed a few spots, Like my
mom filmed my verse two and I can't look at it.
I love that video. I can't do it. Okay. Another
(09:02):
question we had, and I think this came in a
lot moms wanted to know if their vagina is supposed
to be changing color? Is that normal? All your genitals
do get darker, They're deeper shade of the color they
usually are, So they don't exactly change color. They just
become deeper in their hue, including around the labia and aerials,
of course, and those are those are keepers. Those are
(09:24):
keeper colors. I mean, you may fade somewhat, but you're
always going to be a little darker than you were. Yeah,
my vagina is a lot darker than it was. I
don't know about my nipples. My nipples are massive now.
I think both got darker for me. Maybe it's all good. Okay,
So we had some kind of a little more on
the personal side of t M I. You know, a
lot of moms asked this, why does my vagina smell
(09:46):
different while pregnant? And not a good different? And actually
this was up there with the most asked question. You
definitely have more discharge, and as your pregnancy progresses, you
have more and more and more of it, and it's
actually a nature's way of preventing infection and of keeping
your pH nicely balance. It will, however, make a mess
(10:09):
out of your underwear, and it's it's milky like. It
will smell differently, but it shouldn't smell offensive. Um, And
if it does smell offensive, then you should always check
with a doctor or midwife about possibility of infection. And
the the other thing to keep in mind is that
when you're pregnant, your sniffer is far more sensitive, so
(10:31):
you might be smelling it more than anybody else. The
most important thing to remember is nature has your back
and has your business down there nicely taking care of
and so you don't want to introduce anything artificial, no doucing,
no sprays, no wipes, because then you will be interfering
(10:52):
with your natural pH and and that could make you
more vulnerable to infection. But that's pregnancy or not. I've
always been told like not to douche even when you're
not pregnant, just because let your badge be your badge. No,
no douching is never a good idea, but especially especially
especially when you're pregnant. So a related question, um, we
(11:13):
had a few of these about yeast infection and if
they're frequent, how do you prevent them? They are way, way,
way more common during pregnancy, and some women are more
prone to them than others. Always get a diagnosis, don't
self treat. Even if you know the symptoms backwards and forwards,
you've had tons of them in your lifetime. You should
(11:37):
always get that diagnosis and that treatment plan from your
provider when you're pregnant. Now, one of the things that
sometimes helps is avoiding sugar, like excessive amounts of sugar
refined grains because yeast loves to feast on those kinds
of foods. Right. Also, taking probiotics, they're good for all
(11:58):
your tummy troubles, but they also can build up your
troops of good bacteria and that keeps a bad bacteria
away the ones that are infection causing. Also make sure
you keep your underwear cotton. Yeah, another question that came
up with a lot of moms was being frustrated with
bacterial vaginosis and wondering what's your advice on treating that.
(12:22):
So to be clear, um, this is different from a
yeast infection, and that's one of the reasons you should
always have that diagnosis. When you think you have an infection.
There are telltale signs. They are similar to a yeast infection,
but there's a often a distinctly fishy smell, so you
(12:43):
want to look out for that. Now, that's that not
every woman has symptoms with b V. Sometimes there are
no symptoms at all. And something also I want to
make sure everybody understands is it's not an STD. A
lot of people think that it is, but it isn't.
If you're a symptomatic they probably won't treat, but if
you are symptomatic, you will need treatment with antibiotics, and
(13:07):
so that why you need to go see your provider. Okay,
I'm definitely going to mispronounce this. What are over very
very consitist. I don't know, yes, vericasitys. So we're talking
(13:32):
about very coast veins down there. The thing to remember
is that you can get very coast veins anywhere when
you're pregnant, especially in your lower body, because the blood
is having a hard time circulating back up so attempts
to pull in your extremities. So that's why you get
very clost vans in your legs. In fact, did you
(13:55):
know that hemorrhoids are actually very coast vans of the rectum.
I didn't know that. I didn't even know you could
get veracospins in your vagina. This is all new to me.
I actually hear this a lot. And one of the
things that you might feel is like a swelling, throbbing feeling,
not in a good way. Throbbing, I was going to say,
because there is a lot of blood flows, so you
(14:15):
might think, oh, I'm throbbing there all the time. And
some women just are like highly sexually charged during especially
during early pregnancy. From all that blood flow. But this
is not in a good way. It might look a
little lumpy, it might even be a little bluish but
very very swollen feeling, and it's really important to to
(14:36):
get a diagnosis and treatment. It's nothing, nothing, nothing to
worry about, but it can become chronic. So there are
things like an ice pack and how um sitting on
a doughnut Kenny exercise you want to avoid long periods
of standing or sitting. And a support garment that's designed
(14:57):
for your paranneal area, even one for your will help
support it. Elevate your legs every chance you get. That
can also help with the very coast fans and your legs.
Nothing to worry about, but it can be a real pain.
So while we're on this vagina topic, we have so
many moms I can't even tell you how many moms
asking about how to identify their mucus plug. And like
(15:20):
I'm telling you, from the history of time and community,
everyone post pictures of their mucus plug, like you can't.
It's hard to tell, and so people want to know, like,
how do I know if this is the mucus plug?
I get these all the time. Emma did show me
her mucus plug. I lost it in Babies Are Us
while we were filming. I remember losing mine and I
(15:41):
was all alone and I had no social media to
share with. So I saw it in the toilet and
I was like, what the heck is? That is that
the baby is not the baby. And by the way,
just in case you're getting excited, it does not mean
that labor is going to be a few hours away.
I lost mine three weeks before, but your body keeps
producing more of that mucus. So the mucus plug is
(16:04):
kind of like the cork that seals the cervix up
um and keeps your baby nice and safe and protected.
You might lose it all in one big gelatinous glob,
or you might lose it, you know, smaller pieces. If
you're the kind of person who who flushes and rushes,
you might not notice it at all. You might see
it on your underwear, you might see it on the
(16:26):
toilet paper, but it's not likely to be bloody. It
might just be a little pink tinge, but not bloody.
The mucus plug is generally clear. Okay, let's turn to
our favorite topic. I bet you can't guess what it
is sex. Yes, let's talk about sex. So we had
tons of juicy good sex questions and I want to
(16:48):
get into those. Okay, Which stage of pregnancy is unsafe
to have sex? Is it based on a level of comfort? Oh? Yeah,
So if you've gotten the go ahead, then go ahead.
Like comfort should be your only concern um and of
course your pleasure. But if your doctor midwife has said
go for it, go for it. The only time you
(17:10):
don't want to have sex is if your water has
broken just because bacteria. Right, Yeah, if there's a rupture
in your membranes, you don't want to have sex. But
I don't think you'd want to know that doesn't sound
like a good time. I was one of the unfortunate
people to have placenta previous, so like I could have
sex in the beginning and at the very end where
it was like no and I wanted to be having sex,
(17:34):
but that whole second trimester it was like no, sorry,
your body shop is closed. Yeah, so you were on
the quote unquote pelvic rest. Yes, okay, So which positions
are safest and which are best when you're feeling uncomfortable,
You definitely should stay off your back after the fourth month.
But I mean, honestly, whatever feels good, you should do it.
(17:57):
You know, try it out first. You can. I always
just doing a dry run with your clothes on, so
there's no pressure to see if everything's gonna fit well,
and you're going to find that what feels good in
the first trimester is going to feel not as good
later on second third trimester. Second second trimester is always
best for sex because you're not yet so large. You
(18:19):
can still fit yourself into many positions like the first trimester.
The vest. Yeah, okay, sometimes it feels like my baby
is getting pushed out while I'm having sex. What is happening?
It does sound like she's feeling pressure, and you can
feel that kind of pressure when you're having orgasm. When
you're having sex, your contractions, um, you get some contractions
(18:41):
from that, and they're not the kind of contractions that
put you in labor, but your uterus does gently contract
and that can make you feel more pressure. And this
can happen during sex, it can happen after sex. But
of course, if there's any pain, definitely definitely check with
your doctor. So this is like I think, a good
(19:01):
to no question for everyone. If I'm one centimeter dilated.
Is sex safe? Yes, and that's a really good thing
because you can walk around one centimeter dial Yeah. I
think I was one centimeter for like months. And again,
if your provider has not put any restrictions on your
pelvic activities, then you can go for it and keep
(19:23):
going for it. Um you have Heide's blessing to get
it on, Get it on? Okay. Is it true that
semen softens the cervix in theory? In theory because sperm
contained prostaglandins, and so when you go to the hospital
and they're ripening your service, they will do that with
a similar yet not as natural substance. So those prostaglandins
(19:49):
might be able to soften your cervix and help get
the labor party started, but only if conditions are ripe. Okay,
This one I'd never heard of. Is it true that orgasm,
by the way of masturbation during labor is good. I
would argue that orgasm is always good. It's a win
win in theory because you release oxytocin during orgasm and
(20:14):
that causes the uterus to contract. There could be benefits.
I would also argue that many women will not be
in the mood for masturbation during labor. So this is
another situation where if it feels good, go forward. Yeah.
I thought it was a really interesting question. Nothing I've
ever heard of before. Yeah, yeah, it's really cool, and
(20:35):
you know, good for you if you're that relaxed you
want to masturbate during labor. Okay, So we have some
postpartum questions as well. In Heidi, I wanted to start
off with a story that another mom from your Facebook
(20:58):
page shared. She's said after delivery, I may or may
not have ran out of the bathroom crying, saying there
were pieces of my placenta falling out. Nobody warned me
about blood clots. Mom, was that me? Remember after I
held Seby, I thought it was my whole placenta that
came out at me. Mom. Remember I called you and
I was crying and I was freaking out, and I
(21:19):
like saved it and I brought it to the doctor
and like a tupperware. So whoever wrote that question, you're
my soul sister. I feel you. It's true. I I mean,
I remember the same thing when I stood up for
the first time in the hospital and all this blood
was gushing out of me. But that blood and tissue
was accumulated during pregnancy and it's got to exit the building.
(21:40):
Whether you've had a vaginal delivery or you've had a
C section, you will get some clots at first in
the first few days. You should always check with the
nurse or the doctor or the midwife if you're having
really really large clots. So, Emma, that was a good
idea to go show them you're o be, but say,
if they're lemon size or larger, that's definitely, you know,
(22:02):
more of a cause for concern that it's possible. That's
completely normal. You know, they do examine the placenta when
it's delivered to make sure there are no missing pieces,
but once in a while there there are a few.
But you would have signs of infection following that if
you did have any retained placenta. But for the most part,
placenta has come out intact, and uh, you don't have
(22:25):
to worry. So I think every mom heading towards a
vaginal delivery is concerned about this one. Are postpartum diapers
for blood, urine poop, or all of the above. Yeah,
it can definitely be all of the above. You've got
blood for sure, as we discuss. Also keep in mind,
(22:46):
besides all the blood that you've accumulated, UH, the placenta
has separated from the uterus and that's going to cause
bleeding as well. It should start tapering off. If it
isn't tapering off or it's increasing, all your provider right away.
Um after about two weeks, and then you'll just have
lighter bleeding that gets lighter and lighter now. P You
(23:09):
may have some control issues at first, especially if you've
had a catheter because you had an epidural c section.
You also have a lot of fluid to pe out
uh to get rid of after you've delivered, do your keygels.
If you keep leaking, see your provider and get a
referral to a pelvic for physical therapist. Poop hard to
(23:32):
pass it first, then it might get hard to contain.
For some moms, I actually heard this a lot, that
they had some vegal incontinence after delivery, and especially if
you've had a significant tear or repair. Definitely, pelvic for
physical therapy can help a lot. It can be a
game changer. Okay, what every pregnant new mom wants to know,
(23:57):
Will my vagina ever be this? You know? Remember that
a vagina is built to take it. It's designed, it's
got according and like fold so it can accommodate a baby.
The parenneum is somewhat less elastic, but vaginas are remarkably
resilient and you probably won't notice a perceptible difference. Saying
(24:22):
snugness and for some women, if they're too tight to
begin with, is actually welcome um. But the more tearing
there was a repair. Sometimes there's scar tissue. So if
you have continuing pain or you feel something's just not
right down there, definitely don't keep it to yourself and
share that with your doctor. One last question I wanted
(24:42):
to cover before we sign off. Where can I go
to ask random questions that aren't doctor worthy? But it's
too early to tell friends and family that I'm pregnant,
So first of all, any question is doctor worthy, so
never think that your question is silly or or too embarrassing.
I feel like you should share anything that's on your
(25:04):
mind that's concerning you with your doctor or your midwife,
but you also have the entire what to expect community
of moms waiting to share your experiences, share their experiences,
and let you know that you're not alone. You can
always come on my Instagram or on my Facebook and
ask me anything that's at. Heidi Murkoff and of course
(25:26):
Emma will always listen to your tm my questions. I
love a good sex question, so bringam at me. Thanks
everybody for sharing your tm my questions. Baby belof a,
Baby Belof, I need you, Oh how I need you.
(25:48):
Thanks for listening. Remember, I'm always here for you. What
to Expect is always here for you. We're all in
this together. For more on what you heard on today's episode,
visit to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can also
check out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to
Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app.
(26:09):
And we want to hear from you. Connect with us
on our community message board or on our social media.
You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at
Emma Being w t E and of course at What
to Expect. Baby Love is performed by Riley Bider. What
to Expect is a production of I Heart Radio. From
(26:32):
more shows from I Heart Radio, check out the I
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows. In my arms what on Just stay
nija niedja baby, Baby,
Who baby a baby. I need you, Oh, hell, I
need you What to Expect as a production of I
Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Mrko, and I'm a
mom on a mission, a mission to help you know
(00:21):
what to expect every step of the way. So if
you know me, you know there's nothing that is tm
I in my book, at least when it comes to
mom's sharing their symptoms or concerns. Today we are devoting
the entire episode of What to Expect podcast on t
(00:41):
m I symptoms that you have shared and here to
help me do that is Emma informally known as the
Queen of t m I across all social media because
there is nothing she hasn't shared or wouldn't share. And Sarah,
who is our fearless What to Expect community leader. Hey Emma,
Hey Sarah. Hi, I feel like I would like totally
(01:05):
post a picture of like my nipple when it was
falling off when I was pumping. I'm like that intense
with t m I. Well, I think moms do often
send in a lot of pictures or share pictures to
say like, Hey, is this normal? Is this weird? And
you know, sometimes you just got to do that. Yeah,
when when someone else is experiencing the same thing. But
(01:26):
t m I, it makes you feel a little better,
a little solidarity, little kumbay ya t m I sharing.
I love it. It's getting around the campfire. Yes. So,
speaking of sharing, when we had our pregnancy Q and
A episode, Heidi, we had a ton of questions and
we didn't have enough for one episode, so we needed
a follow up, and specifically with questions that you know,
(01:47):
maybe don't seem like people want to share with everyone,
or they might think or t m I and your
mission for what to expect has always been to have
a supportive and safe environment, and I think because of that,
our moms in our community have this high level of
support and they are comfortable with sharing. There are questions
that they might not want to talk to their doctor
(02:09):
about or their friends. And I think Heidi and Emma,
you both see this a lot across your social pages
as well. I've gotten a whole lot. Mine's more sex
oriented t m I. On my page, Sharing is caring.
So we asked our community what their most t m
I questions and concerns are, and man, they really came
(02:29):
through for us. So, just like in the Q and
A episode, where you answered some help me, Heidi in
a hurry questions. I'm going to go through the list, Heidi,
Emma jump in. We're asking is this normal? Kind of
like a true or false thing. So the first one
was leaky boobs at week one, So not everyone starts
leaking coloss room, but some women do and can start
(02:53):
it leaking at about twenty weeks or so, and some
women never do the thing. Remember, though, it has nothing
to do with how much milk you're ultimately going to produce,
so keep that in mind. Oh that's good to know.
I think it was just one of those weird things
where I was like, this is interesting. Let's start using
(03:15):
breast pads in advance and see how that cos. So
you did have that, Sarah? I did. Yeah. Yeah, I
mean it wasn't anything crazy. It was just a little bit,
but it was just kind of like this, all right, Well,
you know, things are working, things are moving along, roll
with it. Yeah, but the good news is it's working anyway,
even if you don't notice any leaking. And in fact,
when I gave birth, I couldn't even squeeze any of
(03:38):
it out, but Emma managed to. Yet, Oh I have
so many things I could say, I don't know, I'm
gonna stop though. We'll get to that later. We'll get
done later, right, Okay. So another question was skin tags
in the Perry area. Okay, so let's back up. You
can get skin tags anywhere when you're pregnant. It's all
those extra hormones, thank you hormone owns um. But you're
(04:01):
especially likely to be blessed with them in areas that
are high friction, so under your arms, under your breast,
and also in your vaginal area. They're definitely harmless. They
can be removed, so yeah, run them by your doctor,
your midwife if you're concerned about them, and if they're uncomfortable,
(04:21):
they can always be removed. Another question was hair growth
on your belly. Is that normal? So pregnant bellies are
fuzzy bellies. You can also find hair sprouting in other
places you would not expect it, like your lips, your breasts,
your timmy tin tin. You know what's interesting is that
(04:42):
like the only place I had hair on my body
when I was pregnant, I had like fuzz on my belly,
but everywhere else it was so spares, like normally, like
I shaved my legs, but when I was pregnant, I
barely got hair into my arms. I barely got hair
on my legs. Yeah that's actually pretty common. Yeah, I
feel like hair wasn't really a thing for me, but
just you know, like other things that you have on
(05:02):
your stomach, like the line and all that other stuff
that kind of I love the line mine still there.
I was pretty darned fuzzy, I have to say. But
it is hair. Hair today, gone to mark because you'll
you'll shed it after your pregnancy. I feel like that's comforting.
A lot of the stuff that happens during pregnancy, it
just goes away over time, like either right away or
a little bit over time. It's not always permanent. Oh, Heidi,
(05:25):
this one came from your Facebook page. She said, sharp
nipple pain. She has it so bad that it stings
in the shower and even a little breeze is unbearable.
So yeah, first time mester nipple pain is real. It
can be excruciating. In fact, I remember like it was
just yesterday. I mean I couldn't put on a bra
(05:46):
without it being agonizing. And it should taper off by
the second trimester. Of course. If you have any concerns,
check with your doctor, but yeah, be gentle. Yes, okay.
Another question was and it she anus and I think
we're talking about hemorrhoids here, babe, Oh my gosh, hemorrhoids
(06:06):
ahoy for me on both times. Yeah, the worst. That's
definitely the hemorrhoids. You can try ice packs and which
hazel pads? Check with your doctor about other options, Gentle?
Does it when wiping? Pat? Pat? Pat? Yeah? But those
witch hazel pads? Mom, I think you recommend them to me.
They were really great. Who makes them? Talks talks? Thank you? Yeah,
(06:30):
I always keep them at my house because those hemorrhoids
are forever. I always associate that smell with just becoming
a new mom, like well forever because that was my
first introduction to Okay, so another good question. Can you
use a vibrator while you're pregnant? Um? Yes, please just
keep it clean. Yes. I never used a vibrator when
(06:52):
I was pregnant. I like the real thing for pregnancy
for me personally, but you know, you go girl. Okay.
Another question we had was lactating during sex normal? Oh yeah,
so breasts can definitely leak during sex um, both during
pregnancy and postpartum. Okay, so we can't get personal without
(07:12):
talking about vaginas. And we had a lot of questions.
So I'm going to read what our moms sent in,
and the first one, I think a lot of moms.
You know you you want things to be looking nice.
So she said, I want to wax my badge. Can
I do that or at least make her nice? Is
that good or bad? Mom? You take this and then
I have a comment. Okay, I say, your age, your business,
(07:37):
whatever makes you happy. I mean, of course, ironically you
can't see down there, but if you are going to
go get wax, just make sure you choose an esthetician
who has experienced with pregnancy. Sensitive skin is going to
be extra extra gentle because you can get far more
irritated your Your skin is is super super sensitive in
(07:58):
all areas, but especially that area when you're pregnant. And
I would not try waxing at home simply because you're
not gonna be able to see what you're doing and
you could hurt yourself. I remember when I was pregnant
with Lennox. You got me a special day to get
waxed um in my business, and I have never felt
(08:19):
pain like that in my life because I was pregnant.
So that was the first and only time I got
waxed during pregnancy. But a lot of people do it
and they love it, but for me, I was like no.
I somehow managed to shave, but I mainly was just
worried about the delivery and like a bunch of people
seeing what was going on there. I shaved like the
(08:40):
night before, which was before when to labor. I had
no idea I was going to go into labor. But
I shaved. And then my mom I think she filmed
my birth and I saw my vagina. I was like,
oh wow, I really missed a few spots, Like my
mom filmed my verse two and I can't look at it.
I love that video. I can't do it. Okay. Another
(09:02):
question we had, and I think this came in a
lot moms wanted to know if their vagina is supposed
to be changing color? Is that normal? All your genitals
do get darker, They're deeper shade of the color they
usually are, So they don't exactly change color. They just
become deeper in their hue, including around the labia and aerials,
of course, and those are those are keepers. Those are
(09:24):
keeper colors. I mean, you may fade somewhat, but you're
always going to be a little darker than you were. Yeah,
my vagina is a lot darker than it was. I
don't know about my nipples. My nipples are massive now.
I think both got darker for me. Maybe it's all good. Okay,
So we had some kind of a little more on
the personal side of t M I. You know, a
lot of moms asked this, why does my vagina smell
(09:46):
different while pregnant? And not a good different? And actually
this was up there with the most asked question. You
definitely have more discharge, and as your pregnancy progresses, you
have more and more and more of it, and it's
actually a nature's way of preventing infection and of keeping
your pH nicely balance. It will, however, make a mess
(10:09):
out of your underwear, and it's it's milky like. It
will smell differently, but it shouldn't smell offensive. Um, And
if it does smell offensive, then you should always check
with a doctor or midwife about possibility of infection. And
the the other thing to keep in mind is that
when you're pregnant, your sniffer is far more sensitive, so
(10:31):
you might be smelling it more than anybody else. The
most important thing to remember is nature has your back
and has your business down there nicely taking care of
and so you don't want to introduce anything artificial, no doucing,
no sprays, no wipes, because then you will be interfering
(10:52):
with your natural pH and and that could make you
more vulnerable to infection. But that's pregnancy or not. I've
always been told like not to douche even when you're
not pregnant, just because let your badge be your badge. No,
no douching is never a good idea, but especially especially
especially when you're pregnant. So a related question, um, we
(11:13):
had a few of these about yeast infection and if
they're frequent, how do you prevent them? They are way, way,
way more common during pregnancy, and some women are more
prone to them than others. Always get a diagnosis, don't
self treat. Even if you know the symptoms backwards and forwards,
you've had tons of them in your lifetime. You should
(11:37):
always get that diagnosis and that treatment plan from your
provider when you're pregnant. Now, one of the things that
sometimes helps is avoiding sugar, like excessive amounts of sugar
refined grains because yeast loves to feast on those kinds
of foods. Right. Also, taking probiotics, they're good for all
(11:58):
your tummy troubles, but they also can build up your
troops of good bacteria and that keeps a bad bacteria
away the ones that are infection causing. Also make sure
you keep your underwear cotton. Yeah, another question that came
up with a lot of moms was being frustrated with
bacterial vaginosis and wondering what's your advice on treating that.
(12:22):
So to be clear, um, this is different from a
yeast infection, and that's one of the reasons you should
always have that diagnosis. When you think you have an infection.
There are telltale signs. They are similar to a yeast infection,
but there's a often a distinctly fishy smell, so you
(12:43):
want to look out for that. Now, that's that not
every woman has symptoms with b V. Sometimes there are
no symptoms at all. And something also I want to
make sure everybody understands is it's not an STD. A
lot of people think that it is, but it isn't.
If you're a symptomatic they probably won't treat, but if
you are symptomatic, you will need treatment with antibiotics, and
(13:07):
so that why you need to go see your provider. Okay,
I'm definitely going to mispronounce this. What are over very
very consitist. I don't know, yes, vericasitys. So we're talking
(13:32):
about very coast veins down there. The thing to remember
is that you can get very coast veins anywhere when
you're pregnant, especially in your lower body, because the blood
is having a hard time circulating back up so attempts
to pull in your extremities. So that's why you get
very clost vans in your legs. In fact, did you
(13:55):
know that hemorrhoids are actually very coast vans of the rectum.
I didn't know that. I didn't even know you could
get veracospins in your vagina. This is all new to me.
I actually hear this a lot. And one of the
things that you might feel is like a swelling, throbbing feeling,
not in a good way. Throbbing, I was going to say,
because there is a lot of blood flows, so you
(14:15):
might think, oh, I'm throbbing there all the time. And
some women just are like highly sexually charged during especially
during early pregnancy. From all that blood flow. But this
is not in a good way. It might look a
little lumpy, it might even be a little bluish but
very very swollen feeling, and it's really important to to
(14:36):
get a diagnosis and treatment. It's nothing, nothing, nothing to
worry about, but it can become chronic. So there are
things like an ice pack and how um sitting on
a doughnut Kenny exercise you want to avoid long periods
of standing or sitting. And a support garment that's designed
(14:57):
for your paranneal area, even one for your will help
support it. Elevate your legs every chance you get. That
can also help with the very coast fans and your legs.
Nothing to worry about, but it can be a real pain.
So while we're on this vagina topic, we have so
many moms I can't even tell you how many moms
asking about how to identify their mucus plug. And like
(15:20):
I'm telling you, from the history of time and community,
everyone post pictures of their mucus plug, like you can't.
It's hard to tell, and so people want to know, like,
how do I know if this is the mucus plug?
I get these all the time. Emma did show me
her mucus plug. I lost it in Babies Are Us
while we were filming. I remember losing mine and I
(15:41):
was all alone and I had no social media to
share with. So I saw it in the toilet and
I was like, what the heck is? That is that
the baby is not the baby. And by the way,
just in case you're getting excited, it does not mean
that labor is going to be a few hours away.
I lost mine three weeks before, but your body keeps
producing more of that mucus. So the mucus plug is
(16:04):
kind of like the cork that seals the cervix up
um and keeps your baby nice and safe and protected.
You might lose it all in one big gelatinous glob,
or you might lose it, you know, smaller pieces. If
you're the kind of person who who flushes and rushes,
you might not notice it at all. You might see
it on your underwear, you might see it on the
(16:26):
toilet paper, but it's not likely to be bloody. It
might just be a little pink tinge, but not bloody.
The mucus plug is generally clear. Okay, let's turn to
our favorite topic. I bet you can't guess what it
is sex. Yes, let's talk about sex. So we had
tons of juicy good sex questions and I want to
(16:48):
get into those. Okay, Which stage of pregnancy is unsafe
to have sex? Is it based on a level of comfort? Oh? Yeah,
So if you've gotten the go ahead, then go ahead.
Like comfort should be your only concern um and of
course your pleasure. But if your doctor midwife has said
go for it, go for it. The only time you
(17:10):
don't want to have sex is if your water has
broken just because bacteria. Right, Yeah, if there's a rupture
in your membranes, you don't want to have sex. But
I don't think you'd want to know that doesn't sound
like a good time. I was one of the unfortunate
people to have placenta previous, so like I could have
sex in the beginning and at the very end where
it was like no and I wanted to be having sex,
(17:34):
but that whole second trimester it was like no, sorry,
your body shop is closed. Yeah, so you were on
the quote unquote pelvic rest. Yes, okay, So which positions
are safest and which are best when you're feeling uncomfortable,
You definitely should stay off your back after the fourth month.
But I mean, honestly, whatever feels good, you should do it.
(17:57):
You know, try it out first. You can. I always
just doing a dry run with your clothes on, so
there's no pressure to see if everything's gonna fit well,
and you're going to find that what feels good in
the first trimester is going to feel not as good
later on second third trimester. Second second trimester is always
best for sex because you're not yet so large. You
(18:19):
can still fit yourself into many positions like the first trimester.
The vest. Yeah, okay, sometimes it feels like my baby
is getting pushed out while I'm having sex. What is happening?
It does sound like she's feeling pressure, and you can
feel that kind of pressure when you're having orgasm. When
you're having sex, your contractions, um, you get some contractions
(18:41):
from that, and they're not the kind of contractions that
put you in labor, but your uterus does gently contract
and that can make you feel more pressure. And this
can happen during sex, it can happen after sex. But
of course, if there's any pain, definitely definitely check with
your doctor. So this is like I think, a good
(19:01):
to no question for everyone. If I'm one centimeter dilated.
Is sex safe? Yes, and that's a really good thing
because you can walk around one centimeter dial Yeah. I
think I was one centimeter for like months. And again,
if your provider has not put any restrictions on your
pelvic activities, then you can go for it and keep
(19:23):
going for it. Um you have Heide's blessing to get
it on, Get it on? Okay. Is it true that
semen softens the cervix in theory? In theory because sperm
contained prostaglandins, and so when you go to the hospital
and they're ripening your service, they will do that with
a similar yet not as natural substance. So those prostaglandins
(19:49):
might be able to soften your cervix and help get
the labor party started, but only if conditions are ripe. Okay,
This one I'd never heard of. Is it true that orgasm,
by the way of masturbation during labor is good. I
would argue that orgasm is always good. It's a win
win in theory because you release oxytocin during orgasm and
(20:14):
that causes the uterus to contract. There could be benefits.
I would also argue that many women will not be
in the mood for masturbation during labor. So this is
another situation where if it feels good, go forward. Yeah.
I thought it was a really interesting question. Nothing I've
ever heard of before. Yeah, yeah, it's really cool, and
(20:35):
you know, good for you if you're that relaxed you
want to masturbate during labor. Okay, So we have some
postpartum questions as well. In Heidi, I wanted to start
off with a story that another mom from your Facebook
(20:58):
page shared. She's said after delivery, I may or may
not have ran out of the bathroom crying, saying there
were pieces of my placenta falling out. Nobody warned me
about blood clots. Mom, was that me? Remember after I
held Seby, I thought it was my whole placenta that
came out at me. Mom. Remember I called you and
I was crying and I was freaking out, and I
(21:19):
like saved it and I brought it to the doctor
and like a tupperware. So whoever wrote that question, you're
my soul sister. I feel you. It's true. I I mean,
I remember the same thing when I stood up for
the first time in the hospital and all this blood
was gushing out of me. But that blood and tissue
was accumulated during pregnancy and it's got to exit the building.
(21:40):
Whether you've had a vaginal delivery or you've had a
C section, you will get some clots at first in
the first few days. You should always check with the
nurse or the doctor or the midwife if you're having
really really large clots. So, Emma, that was a good
idea to go show them you're o be, but say,
if they're lemon size or larger, that's definitely, you know,
(22:02):
more of a cause for concern that it's possible. That's
completely normal. You know, they do examine the placenta when
it's delivered to make sure there are no missing pieces,
but once in a while there there are a few.
But you would have signs of infection following that if
you did have any retained placenta. But for the most part,
placenta has come out intact, and uh, you don't have
(22:25):
to worry. So I think every mom heading towards a
vaginal delivery is concerned about this one. Are postpartum diapers
for blood, urine poop, or all of the above. Yeah,
it can definitely be all of the above. You've got
blood for sure, as we discuss. Also keep in mind,
(22:46):
besides all the blood that you've accumulated, UH, the placenta
has separated from the uterus and that's going to cause
bleeding as well. It should start tapering off. If it
isn't tapering off or it's increasing, all your provider right away.
Um after about two weeks, and then you'll just have
lighter bleeding that gets lighter and lighter now. P You
(23:09):
may have some control issues at first, especially if you've
had a catheter because you had an epidural c section.
You also have a lot of fluid to pe out
uh to get rid of after you've delivered, do your keygels.
If you keep leaking, see your provider and get a
referral to a pelvic for physical therapist. Poop hard to
(23:32):
pass it first, then it might get hard to contain.
For some moms, I actually heard this a lot, that
they had some vegal incontinence after delivery, and especially if
you've had a significant tear or repair. Definitely, pelvic for
physical therapy can help a lot. It can be a
game changer. Okay, what every pregnant new mom wants to know,
(23:57):
Will my vagina ever be this? You know? Remember that
a vagina is built to take it. It's designed, it's
got according and like fold so it can accommodate a baby.
The parenneum is somewhat less elastic, but vaginas are remarkably
resilient and you probably won't notice a perceptible difference. Saying
(24:22):
snugness and for some women, if they're too tight to
begin with, is actually welcome um. But the more tearing
there was a repair. Sometimes there's scar tissue. So if
you have continuing pain or you feel something's just not
right down there, definitely don't keep it to yourself and
share that with your doctor. One last question I wanted
(24:42):
to cover before we sign off. Where can I go
to ask random questions that aren't doctor worthy? But it's
too early to tell friends and family that I'm pregnant,
So first of all, any question is doctor worthy, so
never think that your question is silly or or too embarrassing.
I feel like you should share anything that's on your
(25:04):
mind that's concerning you with your doctor or your midwife,
but you also have the entire what to expect community
of moms waiting to share your experiences, share their experiences,
and let you know that you're not alone. You can
always come on my Instagram or on my Facebook and
ask me anything that's at. Heidi Murkoff and of course
(25:26):
Emma will always listen to your tm my questions. I
love a good sex question, so bringam at me. Thanks
everybody for sharing your tm my questions. Baby belof a,
Baby Belof, I need you, Oh how I need you.
(25:48):
Thanks for listening. Remember, I'm always here for you. What
to Expect is always here for you. We're all in
this together. For more on what you heard on today's episode,
visit to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can also
check out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to
Expect the First Year, and the What to Expect app.
(26:09):
And we want to hear from you. Connect with us
on our community message board or on our social media.
You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at
Emma Being w t E and of course at What
to Expect. Baby Love is performed by Riley Bider. What
to Expect is a production of I Heart Radio. From
(26:32):
more shows from I Heart Radio, check out the I
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows. In my arms what on Just stay
nija niedja baby, Baby,
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